hello, bees!

hi i'm ness/ellie, your local softhearted dumbass · they/she/17/pan/enby/uk/white · aquarius/infj/ravenclaw/chaotic good · currently posting about critical role, d&d, youtube (esp. rt and kevin, mcelroys, bdg), nintendo, aesthetics, and anything else · dni exclusionists/terfs/etc · leftist, socialist · "pop my pussy to comfortably numb" · consistently sad · i will have a continuous tag system one day · come say hi, i'm nice i promise, or feel free to send me things!!

[posterboy4duality]

High Priestess Crystal Athamé. Opal, Watermelon Tourmaline, Amethyst, Spirit Cactus Quart, Vogel Quartz, and Copper.

[ubernegro]

When you just wanted to support people’s creativity and aspirations, but ended up as a vehicle for their healthcare and living expenses.

[panicatthefandomboy]

Gofundme at start:

Ooh that's a cool business you want to start, game you want to make, system you want to make. Oh, you can't get financials to start it set up? Well don't worry, we can help advertise it for public fundraising and doing so we can see how people are interrested in it!

Gofundme now:

Alright, we'll try to help you find people willing to support the surgery that will improve your lifespan from maybe you'll live till summer next year to a normal actual life. Yes don't worry it's alright to ask for people help fund you not losing your home right now.

[dankmemesx420]

[pharmage]

he died

[vondutchcouture]

[jeremy-knox]

happy aromantic spectrum awareness week!

[grimeclown]

I dont think the joker chemicals really did all that when he fell in. I think he just wanted an excuse to be like that

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

Joker: the joker chemicals made me crazy

Arkham doctor: that was a mild detergent

Joker: heehee hoo ha ho hee hoo

[dickneto2-deactivated20210815]

#every white boy

[physcicfuckface]

[timelyreminder]

Relax

• Release the tension in your shoulders and jaw. • Do some neck stretches. • Take a few deep breaths. • Breathe and stretch if you are wearing a binder. • Take a break from the screen every so often. • Move around if you need to.

Happy scrolling!

[seulira]

My contribution

[louvsona]

“will we be best friends forever?” “that’s the plan”

[glumshoe]

I love mice and while I have no trouble thawing them for snakes, I can’t stand to kill them. Living in a log cabin means constant noise problems, unfortunately, and lately I’ve had trouble sleeping through the night because the sound of a mouse running over the floor will wake me. I decided to try a different sort of live trap—I poured about a third of an inch of vegetable oil in the bottom of a large mixing bowl and placed it beside my bed. It worked—the oil makes it too slippery for the mouse to climb back out, and I easily caught him in the empty snow globe I happened to have on hand, like some kind of Disney villain:

He’s been released into the woods, but goddamn, mice are so fucking cute and it’s so hard to resist the urge to try to make pets of them. Fancy mice form the petstore just aren’t as cute.

[libbywednesday]

I also love mice and all creatures and can’t stand to kill them but, since I live in an apartment made from a garage, I have a similar problem so I set up a live trap so I could catch it and release it into the wild.

HOWEVER.

It wasn’t a mouse at all.

It was, for some godforsaken reason, a very inconvenienced mole

[glumshoe]

Are you sure that’s not a shrew? I can’t see it well but moles are... their bodies are very stupid flappy tubes and I don’t think they can squat like that. Shrews have similar upturned, condescending snoots (and some species are venomous!)

[reinelefey]

Did... Did you just say... Did i just read with my own two eyes that (some) shrews. SHREWS. are fucking venomous??? Ship, what??? I... This unsettles me on several levels.

[glumshoe]

Yep! Short-tailed shrews have grooved teeth that deliver a paralytic venom when they chew on prey. They are predators that mostly eat bugs and sometimes mice, so their venom is not dangerous to humans beyond “yeeowch!”

[theawesomeadventurer]

[strawberryswinger]

if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now

[bakwaaas]

[naanviolent]

I’ll be 30 this year.  Here’s some advice I wish I knew for my 20s:

- Don’t shake hands with men.  I was a janitor and I never had to refill the soap box in the mens bathroom.  Like 60% of them just walk right out without even looking at the sink.  It’s gross.

That’s it.  Good luck.

[wingchunhobbit]

Here’s the thing. I’m not pissing on my hands. At no point do I get piss on my hands, so why would I wash them? Is dick skin really that dirty that it’ll cause disease if I shake someones hand?

[naanviolent]

Your penis marinates in your underwear all day with sweat, dead skin cells, poor ventilation, and fecal matter. It’s a fertile breeding ground for tons of bacteria, especially if you wear tight or snug underwear or have large fat folds in your pubic area. If you’re touching your penis, you’re more than likely getting this stuff onto your hands and spreading it onto everything you touch if you don’t wash with soap and water.

[absentlyabbie]

my god how does this same conversation keep playing out exactly like this over and over??????? my soul withers with every unique post i see where men affrontedly demand to know why you think their penis isn’t practically naturally antibacterial.

[naanviolent]

Dude I’m the OP, how do you think I feel waking up every morning to like 4 anons saying bRO mY DiCk Is Cl3aN bRo It$ ClEaN EEEUUGGHH. The yearning for the sweet release of death has never been greater.

[ijustwannagobacktosleep]

nasty

[okaymad]

[clarknokent]

Bruh

[jollylollylily]

Yooooooo…

[dynastylnoire]

Levels

[clamchowdurr-deactivated2022040]

I wanna say Thats violation but that means he was gone send her that unwanted shit too 😂😂😂

[fleetnaturals-deactivated202110]

black mirror season 4

[tiffanyaliyah]

Savage

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

Oh wow

[hobbit-feels]

This is super epic. 

He was obnoxious to begin with, it is true, but if he moves forward in this wooing as a respectful dude, he will text her something nice like it was fun to meet her or maybe ask her on a date.  Mom will text him back and there will be a bit of confusion before he realizes what happened.  He’ll be a bit chagrined and mom will probably feel bad enough for him being rejected to make him cookies or something.

HOWEVER

If he starts in with that fuckboy shit (asking for sex right out the gate, dick picks, asking for nudes, etc.), he will learn the ultimate lesson. 

In short, he is only fucked if he fucks himself.

This is Greek Mythology levels of savage.

[insidiousink]

#In which a man is in command of his destiny #And does not know it

[jjsinterlude]

YOOOOOOOO

[saintvitus]

[powerburial]

this is arcane knowledge that the human mind cant comprehend

[bitchboi-naughty]

honestly what the fuck does this mean

[vhsv0id]

“Don’t stress yourselves out about it, but don’t ignore the situation”

[wholesomethemedmemes]

I declare this Wholesome Knowledge

[deanwinchesterapologist]

Me when I put all my energy into pretending to be chill when in reality everything bothers me deeply

[detailedart]

Detailedit: L'étoile double ☆² (The Double Star), c.1881, Luis Ricardo Falero. | “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” — Norman Vincent Peale