“He didn’t choose this life. He didn’t ask for this– he doesn’t WANT it. He’s a better person than I ever was before. He doesn’t…”
He doesn’t. He never wanted this, he fought tooth and nail to refuse the title everyone else seemed to want to impose on him. He hated his birthright, his so-called destiny, and he certainly risked his life a few times to save others– complete strangers to him, just because it was the right thing to do.
Refused to bring end to a murderer, because it was the good thing to do. The human thing. And even though he kept suffering for it, he continued doing it anyways.
“He’ll keep fighting it. For as long as he can. And if he can’t, if one day he can’t fight it anymore,” Because while she was hopeful, she recognized clearly the flaws of an idealistic wish. If things continued to escalate as they were, Damien could only continue like he was for so long. Despite everything, very much of him was still human and humans could only fight for so long before they broke. And if and when he did, then she’d be there. She would be there to pick up the pieces and guard whatever was left because if he was going to survive this… if the Damien she knew was going to live through this, the one who fought and wanted only a better world, then she was going to have to be there. “Then I want him to know that even though the whole fucking world is going to be turned against him, he still has somebody by his side. He deserves that much. I don’t care what anybody says about that. I don’t— care what it costs. I don’t—”
And there it was, the rage swelling inside her chest that made her want to lash out, because nobody had the right to judge Damien as a monster for something he hasn’t even done yet. For something he may never do, if he would ever be able to help it. Because so far, all he’s been is good. Better than a lot of the people she knew, and every day he denied his demons, he paid for it personally.
That was sacrifice, because even God knows it would have been so EASY to just… give in.
For all he’s gone through, all he is and everything he’s done, she absolutely refuses to stand by and let anybody call him the epitome of evil. And if it comes to that, she will have absolutely no one to blame -least of all Damien- except the people that made him that way. And Darcy swears, oh, she SWEARS, she will make them PAY.
And if they have to pay in their blood, for the first time, she’d be happy to play debt collector. And she hardly feels guilty admitting that. Because protecting him? Protecting the people she loves? Saving them? It’s hardly even a choice and she will do absolutely anything she has to. The world can go ahead and call her selfish, because she loves them and needs them. And finally, Darcy will spit in its face because this. This time, then, she’ll let herself be selfish. This time, for the first time, she’ll FIGHT for what she wants if that means making sure they are safe– Damien included. Anti-Christ or not.
“None of us knows what the fuck that means. The ‘apocalypse’ or ‘end of the world’ or whatever. It can look like absolutely anything. If you asked anybody else, most people would tell you the world’s already going to shit. They’d say it always has been, that ‘it’s been in the making’ for a long time now. We’ve already got the war, the famine, the death, a little sprinkle of pestilence. Not to mention the shit you don’t even know about. And you know what? Despite all that CRAP, it’s still standing. And chances are, it will stay standing.
“The earth has its heroes. If and when it does start to go to shit, whether it’s because of Damien or not, they will be there to keep it going. And I will be there to make sure I keep MINE. And my friends? The ones that can take care of themselves will and those that can’t, will have me.” Maybe she’s giving herself too much credit, but she couldn’t give a shit about that. She will do what she can -what she has to do- to make sure the two or three people she needs to stay safe will be safe. But she refuses to choose between them, refuses to make that impossible choice. (Or has she made it already?) But she digresses;
Where there is no way, she will MAKE one. If all she does is fight to make that happen, then she will keep fighting for as long as she has to. Darcy can and will handle herself where she needs to.
“Go ahead and call me a bad person because I refuse to let anybody tell me to turn my back on somebody I love, on someone who deserves to be looked after, who deserves something good for once in their fucking life. Who didn’t ask for all the shit that happens to them. Who didn’t choose this life, who wanted nothing but the opposite of what was expected of him. And because of something that hasn’t happened yet, you degenerate asshole. May NEVER happen.
“But if it does—- IF IT DOES, and if nothing can deter him, then let him set the match to the world. But I will be there to guide him out of the fire. And nothing you say– nothing ANYBODY says— is going to change my mind.”
Darcy stares on, determined and there’s a particular darkness settling into her eyes. Her affect is flat, all except for the set gaze and a clenched jaw. Every muscle in her body feels like it’s coiled and ready to spring into violence; she’s done well enough to hold herself back so far, to keep herself tame and out of reach of the rage threatening to consume her, of the fierce and undeniable instinct to protect what’s hers, what’s important– her love, her family.
“If you touch him, if you try to hurt him. I— I HOPE the dogs get to you. If they don’t, I will. I don’t have a suit. I don’t have skills straight out of How to Master Assassin 101, and I’m not strong. But I’m resourceful. Central intelligence. Secrets. Friends from every angle and out of every moral perspective straight out of the DnD manual. And I’ve got trust, but most of all, I have patience. And YOU. You will have my scorn and the type of hatred and RAGE I reserve only for people like you, and
I will remind you why Hell Hath No Fury.”
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