Today I felt like everything I've been doing recently is just a waste of time. I got a new job but like I said I feel like I'm just wasting my time. Every time I go there it doesn't feel permanent. It's as if everything is temporary and it is. I think it's better to think of things that way so I won't get hurt when someone or something goes wrong and I lose what I thought was permanent in the first place. Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. When I woke up this morning (afternoon) I felt different, as if something happened last night that effected me. I don't know what it was. I can't help thinking about how I feel like I'm wasting my time. I got new nonslip shoes, uniform, and name tags for this place but it doesn't feel like it's for me. I understand that getting to the top takes time and effort, I just can't be patient. The place that I work at has easy steps to get ahead but do I really want to be a head/general/district manager for a semi-fast-food restaurant for most or all my life? No. I want to do something with my life, something that helps people, something that inspires people or just make people happy. Not only do I want to make other people happy, I want to be happy too. I want to be happy and not have to worry about surviving financially so I can concentrate on other things in life. I hate to say this but money controls everything. I need this job. If I lose it then I go back to square one. I don't want that. I want to make impacts on people whether I get credit or not and I feel like I can't do that being a cashier. I guess it's one of those things that involves patience. Who knows maybe if I actually try this time I can get somewhere. I just have to get the thought out of my mind that everything is a waste of time.
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