They were best friends. Then, he became a monster.
​At sixteen, Paul Lahote simply vanished. The boy Rory Swan had relied on, the constant in her chaotic life, was replaced by a hostile stranger with a temper that burned through their friendship. When he finally disappeared for good, Rory promised herself she would never forgive him.
​Years later, Rory Swan returns to Forks, the familiar chill of the damp air a stark contrast to the sudden, unsettling heat that engulfs her the moment she steps back into town. A single, shared glance with her ex-best friend sends a tremor through her world, replacing all her old resentment with a desperate, gravitational pull.
​Paul knows exactly what that feeling is. Every bone in his body screams what his pride denies: Rory Swan, the girl he abandoned, the one he hurt most, is his imprint. The universe has tied him to the person who despises him, a constant, agonizing reminder of the life he ruined.
​She can't stay away from him. He can't let her go. And the volatile shift that turned a boy into a wolf is about to put their forced connection-and everyone they love-in danger.
chapters ;
chapter 1 - Returning to the damp forests of Forks, overachiever Rory Swan finds herself once again living in the shadow of her sister Bella’s consuming drama and supernatural entanglements. A startling, soul-shifting encounter with Paul, suggests that Rory’s "fresh start" might actually be the beginning of a destiny she never saw coming.
chapter 2 - After days of a mysterious, wasting illness that leaves her bedridden and "withering away," Rory Swan is whisked away by Jacob Black to a secluded cabin in the woods. There, she discovers that her agonizing recovery is tied to a soul-deep connection with Paul Lahote, whose presence miraculously breaks her fever and restores her strength. As Rory begins to heal in the company of the Quileute pack, she must navigate the tension between her old life and a dangerous new world where her bond with Paul is the only thing keeping the darkness at bay.
chapter 3 - The fragile peace of Rory’s recovery shatters on the shores of La Push as the silence between her and Paul Lahote reaches a breaking point. While Rory grapples with the pain of her past abandonment and the startling realization of her long-held feelings for Paul, a solo trek through the woods brings her face-to-face with a lethal, red-headed predator who views her as nothing more than a way to get back at Bella.
chapter 4 -The veil of normalcy is finally torn away as Rory confronts the impossible: her sister is dating a vampire, and the childhood friends who abandoned her are actually a pack of Quileute shapeshifters. Stunned by the realization that her life-threatening illness was a "transition" tied to the pack and that Bella has been keeping these supernatural secrets for months, Rory’s world spirals into a mix of betrayal and terror.
chapter 5 - While Rory grapples with the "second-fiddle" trauma that has defined her life, the gravity of the situation settles in: Victoria is raising a vampire army in Seattle, and the pack must now train alongside the Cullens to survive the coming slaughter. As the lines of battle are drawn, the icy distance between Rory and Paul Lahote begins to melt.
chapter 6 - As the tension between the Quileute pack and the Cullen clan reaches its peak, the "training" sessions reveal more than just combat strategy. Amidst the chaos, Rory finds an unlikely connection with the formidable Rosalie Cullen, sparking a flash of protective jealousy from Paul Lahote.In the aftermath of the bloodshed, the walls between Rory and Paul finally crumble. Caught in an emotional whirlwind, Paul reveals the true reason behind his intense, erratic behavior and his soul-deep tie to her: Rory is his imprint.
chapter 7 - Peace is fragile. As lingering trauma of the newborn attack and the realization that while Victoria is gone, the world Rory has returned to is forever changed. It's a turning point where Rory stops playing "second fiddle" and begins to embrace a new life that is uniquely hers, even as she demands that Paul sees her as a person, not just a supernatural tether.
I could only assume the emptiness that I felt was the same emptiness Bella felt when Edward left. The type of empty that keeps you awake until your body fails, only to be woken up from a nightmare.
Jacob somehow got Seth to go with his makeshift pack, and Leah followed. I knew, in my heart, Leah needed to get away from Sam and the pack, as much as she claimed she was there to protect Seth. I spent days on the Cullens' couch and nights at my dad's house in my old bed. I couldn't go home to the space I shared with Paul. He seemed to be everywhere while still being nowhere.
My heart yearns to beat in sync with his; my arms itch to hold him. Being loyal to my sister had made me the enemy. I miss him. I could tell the separation was taking a toll on my body, and out of pettiness, I was hoping he was facing the same hell.
"Here you go, Rory! It's warm; be careful!" Esme said, snapping out of my thoughts. Placed in front of me was a warm glass of tea. Jacob was curled up in the corner sleeping; Seth and Leah were patrolling.
"You should go to him." My attention snapped from the tea to my nearly mummified sister. Her face was sunken in, her eyes dull. She looked like the embodiment of death, and for once in my life, I'm glad my dad didn't know. Bella looked terrible, but I could imagine I wasn't looking any better.
"He doesn't want to see me. It's ok. Maybe it's better this way." My eyes flickered in between my glass and Bella. Edward lingered by the window, looking over the yard. When Bella adjusted on the couch, so did I. My eyes flickered across the people in the room. Rosalie was sitting on the neighboring chair; Emmett and Jasper were bickering underneath the stairs.
"They're here." Edward said abruptly. Jacob jumped up from a dead sleep, stomping outside. Out of reflex, I moved with him. I felt like I was being pulled. Standing on the massive porch of the Cullen Residence, I saw him. He stood in front, Embry and Quil behind him. Upon hearing me, his attention met me, eyes locking on each other before he turned his attention back to Jacob. If my heart were a separate entity, it'd leap out of my chest and run home, run to Paul.
"You know, as soon as that leech kills Bella, it's dead. " I knew he was talking about the baby, but my mind wasn't focused on whatever he was saying; it was focused on him. I wanted him, yearned for him. He looked like he was in perfect health, so maybe I'm being over dramatic.
I stood there until the conversation was done, simply not wanting to miss a second of Paul. Jacob stormed off while I stayed rooted to the porch. The sudden urge to cry washed over me as I went back inside the Cullens' house. The collection of people in the room shared sympathetic glances, sent lightly my way. The eyes on me made me want to crawl out of my skin.
"​Why don't you head home, Rory?" Carlisle said softly, his voice full of concern. "You look ill."
​Ill. That was one way to put it. I felt like I were decaying from the inside out.
​"Yeah," I forced out, my voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah, I think I will."
​Not waiting for them to respond. I booked it out of the glass house, almost running to the car just to escape the oppressive sympathy.
​The drive was a blur of gray trees and wet asphalt. I didn't go to my dad's house. I couldn't. I couldn't handle Charlie's oblivious questions or the heavy, quiet guilt. Instead, I pulled into the driveway of the home I were supposed to share with Paul. The house that was supposed to be a sanctuary, now reduced to a hollow shell.
It was never supposed to be like this. It was always Bella's world, and we were all just living in it. The mess she got herself into was now actively ruining my life. Instead of fighting for the love of my life, my soulmate, I'm watching my sister die in slow motion.
​The silence inside hit me like a ton of bricks the second I stepped over the threshold. It was too loud—the quiet pounded in my ears, amplified by the ticking of the clock on the wall and the sound of my own loud, uneven breathing.
​Pouring a glass of cheap red wine with trembling hands, spilling a few dark drops onto the counter, before walking into the bathroom and twisting the hot water tap on the tub. Steam quickly billowed up, fogging the mirror, hiding your sickly, exhausted reflection from view.
​I poured in a heavy splash of soap, watching the bubbles rise, desperately chasing anything that might numb the violent ache in your bones.
I was never one to sit with my feelings; when everything got too overwhelming, too loud, I wanted to disappear. In high school, Paul was the only one who understood what it felt like, how it made me act, until he too left.
​Stripping off my dirty clothes, I stepped into the scalding water. It stung, but the pain was a welcome distraction. Slidding down until the water lapped at your chin, I rested my head back against the cold porcelain, clutching the wine glass against my bare chest like a shield.
​Knowing it would take me a second to slip under the water and never resurface, I opted to close my eyes, but it was a mistake.
​The second the dark took over, Paul was there. The memory of his hot skin pressed against mine, the memory of his heavy arms wrapping around me in the pouring rain, his voice rough and broken as he kissed my cold lips.
​A harsh, broken sob tore its way out of my throat, echoing off the damp bathroom tiles. I pulled my knees to my chest, spilling wine over the side of the tub, unable to stop the tears that finally broke through.
​The yearning wasn't just a thought; it was a sickness. It was an agonizing, ravenous hunger that consumed every single thought, every breath, every heartbeat. I hated him for looking fine. I hated him for being on the other side of that invisible line. Most importantly, I hated yourself for loving him so fiercely that choosing my sister meant tearing your own soul in half.
​Leaning my head against my warm, wet knees, drowning in the hot water and the freezing loneliness, praying for the wine to kick in, praying for the noise in your head to finally stop, praying for the ache to decimate me completely so I wouldn't have to feel it anymore.
The peacefulness that followed Bella and Edward leaving Forks was something unimaginable. Jake was back, there was no drama, everything seemed quiet. Like clockwork, nothing could stay that way.
It started with a call from Charlie. He was frantic on the phone, stating that Bella needed to stay where she was at because she was deathly ill. Of course, knowing what I know, I didn't buy it, not for a second.
Then, the fallout started with the pack. As soon as Jacob heard, naturally through the great vine (Sue and Charlie have been getting AWFULLY close), all hell seemed to break lose.
"He killed her, I know he killed her. She's no longer human. She's dead to me, and she should be dead to you too, Rory." My head snapped up from where i was staring at the wall. Oh Bella.
As much as I wish that was the last of it, it wasn't. Nothing was ever that easy. Not for me, not for the city of Forks, no one. Months would pass until word was caught that Bella was carrying a cold one. While all of us were confused (how did this happen?) the pack all knew the baby was to die.
As much as I wished it was different, who knew what that baby would do to the people. While I'm very pro choice, it didn't apply here, not when the baby im question was an evil blood sucker.
It would be two weeks before I heard from Bella or any of the Cullens. She was back in Forks, wanting to see me. Paul stifled at the thought of me going, knowing he can't protect me. Jacob was surprisingly game to going, despite Bella being said qoute "dead to him".
Seeing Bella was terrifying. The baby was eating her from the inside out, and it was sickening to look out. She was skin and bone, despite having a full bump. I couldn't ever remember Bella wanting a child, be she was determined to keep this one, her EJ, as she's been calling it.
At one glance, Jacob stormed out of the Cullen's house. I leaped to chase after him when I felt a hand on my arm. "Don't be a stranger, I can't do this without you, Rory." I spared her a soft look before following multiple steps behind Jacob.
"How could he be so reckless?" Jacob's outbursts weren't new to me, nor the pack, but at times, they were valid. "I'm sure they didn't really know this could happen." At that, Jacob got into my face. "How could you defend him when he did this to your sister?"
That was my final straw before I decided to leave the Cullen residence. Jacob could wolf out and run or whatever he does. If I knew the shit storm that was waiting for me when I got back to Emily's cabin, I would've gone home.
I wasn't even out of my car before I heard the booming voice of the man I love. "How are you vampire bait?" Standing multiple feet away from me, I just stared at him. "I'm not in the mood." He scoffed and rolled his eyes at this. The pack, the girls, and Rachel, all gathered on the porch.
"You're not in the mood? I wasn't in the mood when you chose the leeches and the demon baby over your pack, your family." It was my turn to sigh. I really wasn't in the mood. A bit of me debated turning around and going home, but I knew Paul had an inability to let things go. "The baby is half human." At that, the shit show completely unraveled.
"THOSE LEECHES ARE LYING TO YOU!" Paul said, I immediately turned my back to him, refusing to listen to ANY discussion about the pack killing Bella's baby. "They're not lying, it's half human. You're forgetting Carlisle is literally a doctor." Throwing a glance over my shoulder, I caught sight of Paul huffing and puffing.
"You heard what he said, he hasn't seen anything like this. You and your sister are equally as brainwashed if you think she's going to survive birthing a bloodsucker."
Brainwashed? I know he's not talking to me.
A crowd had formed on the cabin's porch, murmurs from the remaining pack mates made it feel as if we were rehearsaling a play. "You did not just say that to." Now facing Paul, I watched his beautiful russet skin pale slightly. "Brainwashed? You're forgetting Bella wants to be a vampire, she also wants this baby EVEN if it kills her. As for me being brainwashed, there's no way I'm siding with Bella about her decisions, I am also in no way saying its ok for you and the goons to go kill a baby."
"The second that little leech kills your sister, it's dead. You and I both know the rules."
"Have fun getting past Jake. You know Jacob has a hard on for Bella."
"Yeah? Well right now, you two both apparently have one."
"Oh fuck you, I forgot you're a born again pope."
"Fuck you, Rory."
"BOTH OF YOU, ENOUGH. SEPERATE BEFORE I DO IT FOR YOU." A loud voice boomed. Typically, Emily wasn't a very loud person, but enough is enough. I could feel everyone's eyes on us, because there was no where else to look.
"I can't protect you there, Rors. If you leave, I have to let you go. I can't break the treaty. If you cared, you'd stay." Paul whimpered. "Let's go home and figure this out." I pleaded back. His softening eyes turned cold again before he shook his head. "No. You go home. If you're siding with Bella, I don't want you here. You're as good as dead to me."
Gasps could be heard from the porch as I watched him turn his back towards me, leaving me stunned in the dirt driveway. I hung my head for a second before sucking my teeth and nodding my head. These people weren't mine anymore. Paul wasn't mine anymore. Everything I had done, the time I invested, the love I gave, meant nothing anymore. Sliding behind the wheel of my car, I sat for a minute longer before pulling away from the cabin that housed the man I loved the most and the woman who seemed to always have his attention, even when he was supposed to be mine.
The night was cold. The house I used to love having Paul in was colder. I gave everything up for Bella and her unborn child and had nothing to show for it.
Everything felt like a dream, or a highlight reel in a very cheesy romcom. I was finally in a state of bliss that constantly threatened to be destroyed.
For starters, after the night in the rain, Paul and I became attached at the hip. I had never felt such immense love so quickly. While the feeling flooded me with butterflies, dread seemed to take over when I realized we tip toed around for each other so long. We could've been doing this month's ago.
Another highlight was moving into the yellow house in La Push. Initially, it sparked a huge fight with Bella. She couldn't understand why I'd leave our father or move from Forks. She claims she couldn't understand while setting ready to do the same thing. The only difference was I wasn't faking my death or marrying a blood sucker. My heart ached knowing the rest of Bella's human adult life would be spent knowing we have an un-repairable relationship. Strained.
The distance from the constant drama Bella and Edward brought was a nice change of pace. My house was my own safe place, and for once, I finally felt like me. I wasn't Bella's weird older sister and I wasn't Charlie's oldest daughter, I was just Rory.
Paul is always over when he's not patrolling or when we're not with the pack. I loved having him around and knew I'd do this for the rest of my life if I could. Live in this safe little bubble of safety and bliss, that was until a knock sounded at the door.
I closed the journal I was writing in and stalked to the door. The creaking wood underneath my feet was cold, the house seemed cold this morning without Paul. Whomever was at the door was inpatient, rapidly knocking.
"I'M COMING" The knocking stopped as I unlocked the door. Bella stood on the concrete slab, staring at me. Without words being said, she pushed pasted me and made her way into the house.
"Nice to see you too, please come in." Closing the door, I could hear Bella's converse pacing the wood floor before I even turned around. Bella and I were both anxious by heart, but had different habits. "I can't do this."
Turning towards her, I met her wet eyes.
"Bella, what are you talking about?" Her pale skin was blotchy red, and her eyes were puffy. "I can't get married. Not like this, not without you."
I walked to the couch, nudging her to follow silently. She followed suit while also talking. "It's so hard doing all of this without you, and Jake. I know he's mad, but Canada? Lone wolf? I can't...it's really hard."
This wouldn't be the first time Bella had knocked down my door to rant. When we lived together before college, she seemed to be in my room more than I was. "What's so hard about it? Are you having second thoughts?"
"About Edward? No, never. About after. Turning, leaving you, and dad, and Jake. Don't get me started on Jake. I don't know how to stop or slow it down."
I stood from the couch, walking towards the kitchen island and started to prep the tea kettle for the stove. "You want to get married? Yes? Why don't you wait it out a bit? You're so young." I stared at the back of Bella's head as she sat and pondered. Standing abruptly, scaring me, she muttered "I have to go."
"Bella, wai-" The door slammed behind her and silence engulfed the room. Setting the kettle back down on the counter, I stared at the door for a good long second before sighing.
The silence weighed heavy on me as I busied myself, waiting for Paul to come home. He didn't live here, but most nights he'd be here, occupying the space. I loved knowing he was safe here. I love how domestic it all felt at the end of the day.
This was my safe space, our safe space. I've grown attached to Paul in a way that makes me feel empty when he's gone. Even though in my heart I know he's coming home, I can't shake the feeling of never seeing him again. There was so many unknowns in this world I know nearly nothing about.
The ache in my heart didn't seem to settle, it never did when I was too far from Paul, especially for a certain amount of time. I started pulling out food for dinner, silently preparing a shared meal for two while I patiently waited for my lovers return. I wondered what conversations would be had during dinner, what movie we'd watch after, and how we'd finish the night. We were as close as we could get to being married, minus the rings.
"Smells good, what are you making?" A voice says while a strong arm wraps around my waist. Paul, he's home. I could feel myself melting into his warm, strong, embrace, and for once in my life, I wanted to weep. "Fajitas." I could hear my voice breaking. The arm not around me turns off the stove in front of me. Slowly turning in the arm that held me, I saw Paul's face, filled with worry.
"What's wrong, lovely?" I could feel my eyes welling with tears and my bottom lip wobbling. "Bella stopped by today." That was all it seemed to take before I was being pulled into his arms and led to the couch. Paul was a listener. He'd constantly listen to me yap. Sometimes it was a blessing, other times, a curse.
"How was that?" Paul asked. My legs now sat bent over his thick thighs, me facing the side of his head. "It went as good as you could imagine. She talked about her wedding and Jake." His brown eyes bore into mine as I talked. I knew he wanted an elaboration, he wanted more detail so he could further assess, but ther wasn't really much to say.
"Do you ever think about getting married?" The question caught him off guard, eyes softening at the question. "Of course, always, want the elopement or the wedding, want forever with you, as long as you'll have me." The words seemed genuine. It made all the feelings I had justifiable. Knowing he wanted it to meant a lot to me, even though we were soul bonded.
The rest of the night was slow, just Paul and I in this little bubble of life we created. Sleep came quick when I was sleeping next to my person. I knew I would only get numbered days before Bella's wedding.
_____
The following days seemed to knock the fairytale fog right out of the sky. It started with my mom making her appearance in Forks. It started with nitpicky comments here and there. I felt like i was constantly on edge.
At first, it was comments about Bella's wedding.
"I just don't understand why you didn't play a bigger role planning your sister's wedding, is all." A bit of me wanted to scream. Bella didn't want that, Bella wanted her new found family's help, and that was fine, but she could've at least told our mom.
Then, the comments turned more personal.
"This is the house you bought? I thought it'd be bigger." I'd never forget the look Paul shot me when she said that. Us, having invited my mom and Phil over for dinner, never expected the comments.
That night, when we were brushing our teeth, I remember Paul standing against the counter.
"She's a real piece of work." I fought back a smile before saying "You're telling me." Her words would continue to echo in my head even though I claimed I was fine, stating they didn't mean much to me.
In the coming days, Bella, our mom, and I would do very little bridal things while being accompanied by Alice, Rosalie, and Esme. Paul hated the idea and I hated that I felt like I didn't fit in. Sure, it was Bella's event, but it didn't hurt less that our mother chose to dot on Bella. She never did any wrong in our mom's eyes, even though she was marrying a vampire and seemingly selling her life away.
Those nights, I'd come home drained, scrub my skin raw, and lay in bed. Paul worried, he always worried, but I'd assure him I was fine.
The day of the wedding was a relief. Renee would be going home, Bella would be on her honeymoon, and for just a little bit of time, my life would be peaceful. Paul and I got ready, met with my parents and Phil, and walked into the wedding. It truly was beautiful. So beautiful in fact that I was envious. I wanted this for myself, selfishly enough.
Meeting up with 2 of the 3 Clearwaters and the Uley's, we watched the reception, and then the speeches, really only mingling when we needed to. I never strayed too far from Paul. I didn't trust the amount of blood suckers who attended, and a lot of them didn't trust the wolves or the human who seemed to roam with them.
"This is going to be us one day, you know?" The comment caught me off guard as Paul pulled me up to dance. Some random slow song played through the forest. The night brought a chill as the wind rippled. "I really hope so. I'd want nothing more as long as I'm with you."
We seemed to sway back and forth forever, I'd never leave this spot if I could. Just me and him, in our own world. That was until Seth came up to us.
"Paul, Sam needs you." Seth said, bright smile beaming on his face. If I didn't lift my head from Paul's chest, I would've missed it. "Sam can wait." At his response, I laid my head back on his chest and closed my eyes.
"It's Jake. He's in the woods dancing with Bella. Sam wants you there incase." Both of us slowed to a stop. Paul grumbled something out of frustration before pulling away from me. "Come on, Rors."
I followed closely behind the two, feeling multiple eyes boring into my skin as I did so. Edward stood at the treeline, watching the scene before him. Bella in her white gown, Jacob in a pair of khakis and a button down, spinning his new wife around. I couldn't hear what they were saying to each other, nor did I want to. Like clockwork, Jacob's voice rose and Bella became frantic. Bella always seemed to be reactive to Jacob and his emotions. Seth, Paul, and Sam stepped in, shooing Jacob away.
It was after the situation was solved I decided it would be time to go home. I gave Bella one last hug in her human body and bid the Cullen's and my parents a good bye.
The ride home was quiet, and for once, I didn't hate it. I wasn't scared. There wasn't anything waiting to get me, no one was expecting something out of me. It was just Paul and I, in our bubble, just the way I enjoyed it.
I had never felt so alone in my life. Bella was getting married, Charlie was busy with work, the people I typically surrounded myself with were either busy being wolves or rogue in Canada. It was times like this I wish I never left Seattle. And the ache was back.
My chest hurt, not in a panic attack way, but in a heartbreaking way. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss Paul, but I did. As of late, he seemed to be entertaining himself with Rachel, as if I didn’t exist, as if I wasn't his imprint.
The ringing of my cellphone broke me out of my haze. Answering the phone call without looking at caller ID, the voice of my realtor rang threw, "Rory, the owners would like to meet you before they accept any offers." While this was weird, I didn't find it unreasonable. Telling her my availability, she told me she'd get back to me with a time and date before hanging up.
Throwing on the nearest set of clean clothes, I made my way out of the house. Leah, Emily, and Kim had invited me to hang out, and who was I to decline? I knew Paul was going to be there, but I prayed like hell Rachel wasn't.
The ride wasn't filled with noise and music, it echoed with silence.
Leah, like always, was the first one to greet me. I soaked up the warmth of her skin before following her into the cabin. Kim and Emily stood around the kitchen counter while everyone else was spread out around the house.
Emily and Kim's chatter turned the topic to me. As much as I wanted to listen, my eyes were scanning the room looking for Paul.
"Did the owner accept your offer?"
"Are you excited for Bella's wedding?"
No Paul and better yet, no Rachel. My eyes briefly met Embry's, a smile gracing his lips. If I wasn't so hung up on Paul, I'd probably have a crush on him. Turning back to the girls, I started to talk.
Conversation flowed from Bella's wedding to my potential new home, as doing so, we moved from the kitchen island to the dining table, and finally to the couch. Mid day turned night and people came and went.
Sam and Paul arrived as Jared and Embry left for patrol, dragging Seth with them. I could feel eyes on me, but refused to engage. My heart felt like it was breaking. Sam waved Emily to the kitchen as Kim bid everyone a goodbye. The seat next to me barely had a second to cool before Paul filled the space.
"We need to talk." Paul muttered as he scooted closer to me. His heat filled my senses. Everything told me to get up and walk away, but I couldn't. "About what?" I asked, finally making eye contact with him.
"About us." The blood that pumped through my body suddenly felt ice cold. Every bone in my body wanted me to look away, but I couldn't. Paul stood and held his hand out, pulling me with him.
"I'm going to take Rory home." Paul said to no one in particular before he pulled me out the door and to my car. "Give me your keys." And I did, blindly.
He opened the passenger door and ushering me in before walking around to the driver side. The air in the car was cold, my body longed for any warmth it could get.
The car ride started with silence. I turned on the heat, Paul drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. For someone who wanted to talk so bad, nothing was being said.
"Why are you doing this?" His gruff voice broke through the silence, causing me to look at him. "What? What am I doing?"
His eyes barely left the road as he peered at me, "Do I need to spell it out for you? You're avoiding me and moving?" A scoff involuntary left my lips.
"What I'm doing? Have you seen yourself? As soon as Rachel got home, you've treated me like I haven't existed. Oh, and if you MUST know, I'm moving to La Push, to be closer to you." The car stopped in the middle of the road.
"What?" His voice was filled with disbelief.
"I'm really debating against it now. I can't bare seeing you with Rachel. I can't stand the ache in my heart knowing I don't matter to you the same way you do to me." I wanted to run, to yell, to rip the car door off its hinges. Anything but being here.
"Don't say that." A whisper left his lips. I started to shake my head. He had some nerve to even act shocked. "Why would you move to be closer to me."
Ice filled my body, this was the reaction. He didn't want me and he sure doesn't want me in La Push. It was like high school all over again, but instead of him leaving, it was my turn to go.
"Get out." My eyes were stuck looking at my hands, tears welling in my eyes. "What?" He whispered again. If he wasn't so beautiful and if I wasn't so hurt, I'd be annoyed.
"I said get out." Paul started to shake his head before I finished my sentence. I could hear our breathing, I could hear the rain hitting the windshield, and yet I still got out of the car. I could drive these streets blind folded, I could definitely navigate them in the dark. Taking off towards Forks, I started walking. A car door slammed behind me.
It would be merely seconds before I felt his hands on me, pulling me into him. "Paul, stop." His arms tightened around me, head nuzzling in my neck. I couldn't pull away, couldn't move even if I wanted to. "I fucked up. Rory, please look at me."
The rain wasn't just falling anymore; it was a deluge, soaking through Rory’s clothes until they clung to her like a second, colder skin. But against her back, Paul was a furnace. His heat was the only thing keeping her from shattering into a million icy pieces right there on the asphalt.
​"Look at me, Rory. Please."
​His voice wasn't the arrogant, hot-headed growl she was used to. It was jagged—broken in a way she’d never heard. Slowly, she turned in the circle of his arms. The rain matted his dark hair to his forehead, and his eyes were blown wide, swirling with a mix of silver-grey distress and the fierce, haunting intensity of the imprint.
​"You said you didn't want me in La Push," Rory choked out, her voice competing with the rhythmic drum of the storm. "You spent weeks acting like Rachel was the only person in the world. You ignored me, Paul. Do you have any idea what that does to a person who’s wired to need you?"
Paul flinched as if she’d struck him. He reached up, his large, calloused hands framing her face. His skin was so hot the rainwater seemed to steam off his palms.
​"I was terrified," he confessed, the words tumbling out in a rush of heat and shame. "Rory, look at me. I’m a landmine. I lose my temper and the ground shakes. I thought... I thought if I could make you hate me, if I could shove you away using Rachel, then you wouldn’t want to be near me. I thought I was protecting you from this—from the mess that I am."
​He let out a self-deprecating, harsh laugh that was swallowed by the wind.
"I used her because she was easy, because she was a distraction. But every second I spent pretending to look at her, I was dying because I wasn't looking at you. Every time you walked out of a room because I ignored you, it felt like my lungs were being ripped out. I’m a coward, Rory. I tried to break the bond because I didn't think I was good enough to keep it."
​Rory stared at him, the anger in her chest mingling with a devastating surge of relief. "You don't get to decide that for me," she whispered. "You don't get to choose how much I'm willing to hurt for you."
​"I know," Paul groaned, leaning his forehead against hers. Their breaths mingled, white plumes of heat in the freezing night. "I saw you tonight, hearing you were moving just to be near a guy who was treating you like dirt... I realized I was destroying the only thing that mattered."
He pulled back just an inch, his thumbs brushing away the tears that were indistinguishable from the rain. "I love you. I’m imprinted on you, and I’m a damn fool, but I’m your fool if you’ll still have me."
​The honesty in his eyes was a physical weight. Rory reached up, her fingers locking behind his neck, pulling him down.
​When their lips met, it wasn't soft or tentative. It was a collision—a desperate, soaking-wet reclamation. Paul let out a low sound, half-sob and half-growl, as he pulled her flush against him, lifting her nearly off the ground. The kiss tasted of salt and rain and the sudden, violent end of a long winter.
​In the middle of the dark road to Forks, surrounded by the towering pines and the torrential storm, the ache in Rory's chest finally went quiet. Paul wasn't pushing anymore; he was holding on like she was the only thing keeping him grounded to the earth. And for the first time since she’d come home, the cold didn't matter.
"I think I want to move out." The crinkling from the newspaper stopped abruptly. I peered over at Charlie, who was already looking at me, mouth wide, "because it wasn't enough for you sister to go off and get engaged, now your jumping ship". A sigh left my lips.
"Don't you want to be an empty nester? You're about that age." A scoff left his lips as he threw the paper down. "And now you're calling me old, perfect." My fingers met my temples as I tried to rub out the on coming headache.
"Thats not what I'm saying and you know that. Bella will still be here until she's married. Don't you want to have Sue over and not have to worry about your two kids wondering around?"
"I'm not talking about this, Rors. Do what you want."
Charlie wasn't always so dismissive, but since Bella came home, it felt like I was in constant competition to get my dad to even care. The paper was picked back up and the room went silent. I had the means to move, just somewhere in town or La Push. Leah and Paul hated coming here because we were on the Cullens territory, especially with Edward lurking around.
"Ok, well, I'm going to head out, I'll be back before dusk." I said, pulling myself off the couch, needing to get out of this house and away from my dad and eventually, Bella.
"Yup, see you later." Was all that was said before I grabbed my keys and left. At least at Emily's, I'd get some free entertainment. After Jacob recovered from his injuries, he crashed out about Edward and Bella's engagement, which was valid. I couldn't imagine the man I loved (Paul) getting married to anyone else. Now, his days are spent sulking. He's debating going on a forever walk as a wolf.
The ride to La Push was quiet. I felt like I spent the whole time thinking, driving on familiar roads like I was on autopilot. My mind wondered to Paul and stayed there. We hadn't talked much after he told me I was his imprint. The conversation alone made me think a lot of what we used to be, what we are now, and what we could be if we got on the same page.
"It's more of an involuntary, instantaneous, and profound bond where gravity shifts from holding you to the earth to holding you to that specific person. It's not love at first sight, but you're my entire world."
He said it like it was casual conversation, it wasn't. I loved him. I wasn't going to force him to talk or explain his thinking to me. It seemed like it was taking a toll on him, maybe he didn't feel the same, whatever.
As soon as I pulled up to Emily's, Seth and Leah greeted me at my car door with unsure looks on their faces. "Guys? Why the long faces?"
It was like I sucked the air out of the atmosphere. "Do you remember Rachel and Rebecca?"
Now it was my turn to act like the air was sucked out of the atmosphere. "Jacob's older twin sisters? How could I forget? Paul had a crush on Rachel."
"I don't want to spoil anything, but Rachel is inside." Of course she was, as if my day couldn't get any worse.
Growing up, I didn't mind Rachel and Rebecca. Them, Jacob, and Billy were at my house more time than I could count and vice versa. It was when Paul started developing feelings for Rachel that I started feeling resentful. She was everything I wanted to be, and she had the attention of the one person I wanted.
Looking between Leah and Seth, I whispered a quick "Should I leave?" To which I got the response of two shaking heads. "She's all over him, you're going to leave her here unsupervised with your man?"
Seth chuckled at Leah's words before adding his own two sense, "Plus he could probably feel you're already here, leaving would be super inconvenient."
Slamming my door behind me, I followed the Clearwaters up the porch and through the door. Jacob was in the corner glaring at Paul and Rachel, and I felt relieved knowing he didn't like it either.
Embry, Quil, and Jared were on the floor playing uno, Emily and Sam in the kitchen, and I was just here, intruding. Seth moved back to the three on the floor and wanted in on the next round of uno. Slowly turning my head, I noticed Paul and Rachel were awfully close on the couch. I could feel Leah watching me.
"Why don't we go walk on the beach or something?" Leah said from behind me, breaking my trance from the unlikely pair on the couch. Rachel perked up at Leah's words, "I want to go too! Paul, can we go?"
Finally looking up, both Paul and Rachel met my gaze. Paul opened his mouth to say something but Rachel beat him to it.
"Rory Swan? Is that you? You look amazing! I didn't know you'd be back from college." I offered her a small smile, trying not to scream. "It's nice to see you too, Rachel."
Turning back to Leah, I tried to communicate via eyes, but she wasn't getting it. "I actually can't go, I have to run a few errands in the area, if you wanted to tag along, lele" making it clear it was an invite only gathering. Leah looked past me to Paul and Rachel, she was fighting a smirk. "I would love that, actually."
Turning around myself, I could see Paul's paled face. Rachel seemed oblivious and everyone else in the room seemed to feel the shift.
"Emily? Do you want to come? I figured we could pick up Kim, too." Jared perked up at the mention of his imprint. Emily accepted the invitation and we bid everyone a goodbye.
"You should've seen Paul's face, looked like a kicked puppy."
"I don't know why, he's had a thing for Rachel for as long as I could remember."
The three of us climbed into the car, making our way to our fourth member, Kim.
"So what's the errand?" Emily asked.
"I've been looking at a few cabins in the area and have been talking to a local realtor. I figured we could go look at them, because I don't want to be at your cabin, no offense."
"None taken, they're actually making me sick to look at."
Leah and I laughed at Emily's bluntness, it was nice to see some of Leah rubbing off on her. Kim was in the car before we knew it.
Meeting the realtor at the first house, I started imagining my life away from Bella and her constant drama. Sure, I would miss my dad, but once Bella turned and fucked off, I'd be around more often, if he even wanted that.
Getting in the car, we collectively agreed this cabin wasn't my home. Sure it was on a lot of land, but it was a fixer upper. I could always rebuild, but where would I stay and where would the money come from for that?
The second cabin was dark blue with a lavendar blue roof, I was feeling so hopeful, just for a nothing sandwich. It felt very studio apartmenty with separating walls and no doors.
I was feeling discouraged. The thought of having Paul come spend the night or me starting a life were slipping through my fingers. Not like it matters now that Rachel's back.
"Ok, there's one more place I want to show you. It's more of a house than a cabin, and its a little bit out of your price range. Do you want to see it?" It was almost like I could feel three heads nod behind me.
"Yeah, we'd like to see it."
"Great, I'll send you the address."
Checking my phone, I noticed I had a collection of missed calls and texts from Paul, Embry, and Jared. Jared wanted to know when we'd be back because he wanted to hang out with Kim, Embry was begging for us to come back so Jared and Paul would buzz off and leave him alone. Paul was just texting and calling to make the sting worse that he was living his weird high school dream.
So much for being his imprint.
Ignoring all three of them, I typed in the address and just drove. We pulled up to a cute, single story home.
Emily and Kim gushed over the perfect yellow color and that it was close to the beach. Leah looked at me and smiled, all like they knew this was my house. Walking in, I could see myself living there.
Movie nights, dinners and barbecue's, holidays, everything. The only thing missing was Paul.
"Do you have the money for this? Up front?" Emily asked, falling in step as we walked off the back porch. "I have about 50 thousands in savings, I invested in a small company during college and it paid off. I figured for the rest I could get a loan. My credit score is phenomenal!" I sighed and looked at the forest line, down the hill was the long decent to the beach.
Silence fell over us as we looked at the scenery. "He'll come around." The quiet words made me want to cry. Emily's hand gripped my wrist before she walked back inside.
The viewing came and gone, and before I knew it, my offer was submitted. I drove Emily, Kim, and Leah home, chattered filled the car while hurt filled my heart.
Pulling towards the house, Kim and Emily we're out of the car as soon as it stopped. Leah lingered for a second longer before she got out of the car. I lingered in my car for a second longer before getting out, which would prove to be a big mistake.
Rachel and Jacob walked past me as soon as I walked through the front door. Paul sat on the couch, watching the spot where they just walked. It was as if I was merely just a ghost.
What was this feeling?
Embry walked, striking up a conversation.
"I heard you found a house! Emily and Kim can't stop talking about it." This elicited a smile out of me. "Yeah, it's not much, but its something, we'll see if they accept my offer."
"Trust me, they will! Are you staying for long? We're going to start a bonfire." At the question, I looked over at Paul, who still hadn't been paying attention. "Nah, I'm going to head home."
I could only assume Jake and Rachel would be back soon, and I didn't want to be here when they did. I sent a collective good bye to the room before leaving out the front door, only to hear footsteps behind me. You got to be kidding me.
"Hey Rory. Wait." Paul said, matching my step, "What's this about you moving?" I couldn't help but let the sign slip from my lips. "Yeah, I'm moving out of Charlie's." When my eyes met his, he looked hurt.
"Why?" He asked, almost coming out as a whimper. "Why does it matter what I do?" I asked, "Just go back to Rachel." I turned away, hoping Paul would leave. I didn't want to argue or fight, I just wanted to go home.
"Is this what you're so upset about? Why you're going to move? Move away from me, and Leah, and Seth? Your father? Because you're jealous?" Paul asked, turning me around.
"Paul, do I have a reason to be jealous?" It pained me to look in his eyes again. I wanted the conversation to be over. I couldn't read the emotion on his face, "No" he whispered.
We hadn't had heard Jake's red Volkswagen Rabbit pull up, we hadn't had heard the doors slam, or the two get out and walk towards us. It all happened at once and fast. Rachel's sweet perfume filled my senses as she stood next to Paul.
"Are you ready for the bonfire?" Rachel asked Paul before peering at me, "Are you staying, Rory?" She asked me, attention never really leaving Paul. "No, I'm going to head home, goodnight. It was nice to see you."
I turned, avoiding Jacob's hard gaze as I got into my car, and pulled away. Once I was back on the main road, I felt tears fall down my cheeks.
Its always two steps forward and three steps back.
Training with the Cullens was an experience none of us really expected. Alice's mate, Jasper, had experience with newborns, allowing us an unexpected advantage.
Most of the wolves sat in the treeline and watched the training. Jacob was trying to nose his way in between Bella and Edward. Kim, Emily, and I sat further back; Leah lay beside us in wolf form. From where I sat, I could feel eyes on me. A chill ran down my spine as my eyes darted around the forest.
My eyes met golden ones from across the clearing. Rosalie Cullen stood against a Jeep, arms crossed, looking directly at me. From my understanding, Rosalie didn't possess any extra talent. Her striking blonde hair sat perfectly on her head; her makeup was immaculate. While half of me wanted to look away, I couldn't seem to peel my eyes away from her. Deciding to refocus on the conversation taking place in front of me, I looked away from Rosalie.
"...your guess is as good as mine as to why Sam thought we needed to be here," Emily said, waving her hand. "I feel like we're being babysat," Kim mentioned, rolling her eyes. Leah huffed beside me as she took in the scene in front of her.
Alice and Jasper were fake fighting in the clearing, and most of the Cullens and the wolves were watching. Rosalie's eyes still bore into the side of my face, Seth was sleeping, and the rest of us were just existing in the chaos.
It was another 45 minutes until everything died down and the clearing started to, well, clear. Most of the wolves ran back to Emily's or went on patrol, while Emily, Kim, and I walked back to her truck. Emily and Kim chatted while I trailed behind. Rosalie and Emmett still lingered at the jeep.
"Swan, come here." A voice called. Twirling around, I scanned for the source of the voice and Bella, who I was sure they were talking to. A whistle broke through the air before I met eyes with Rosalie. "We haven't seen you in a while, how was college?"
"Educational. How's all the quality time with Bella?" Emmett suppressed a laugh while Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I'm sure we didn't enjoy it as much as you would." Now it was time for Emmett to roll his eyes.
"Not too much on Bella, she's my future sister." Rosalie shot Emmett a glare, causing his smile to drop. "I'd trade you for your sister, Swan." A chuckle escaped my lips as we made eye contact.
"You're not the right species of monster for me." A smile graced Rosalie's lips. Emmett looked between us quietly. "It was nice seeing you, Rory."
"It's always a pleasure, Rosalie." With that, the couple got into the jeep. My attention cut to the treeline, where Paul stood in wolf form. With one single loud huff, he ran into the woods. Emily and Kim sat in her truck, still chatting away. Sliding onto the bench next to Kim, we were ready to go.
"I didn't know you were tight with the Cullens," Kim said, eyes meeting my face. "I think we have a shared bond over Bella not wanting to be a vampire, some sort of trauma bond." Emily laughed as she drove. Silence fell over the cab as the weight of today settled over everyone.
The drive was quick and silent. Some of the boys were scattered across the yard and on the porch. If I had predicted what would happen next, I would've just walked to my car and gone home, but I'm not a fortune teller.
As soon as my feet touched the earth, Paul was dragging me away from the group by my elbow.
"Paul! What the hell?" Snatching my arm from his hand, I got a good look at him. "I could ask you the same shit." He towarded over me, looming like a predator to prey.
"I have no CLUE what you're talking about." I wished I could make myself bigger, louder.
"I didn't know you were in tight with the leeches." A scoff escaped my lips as the words left his.
"Are you seriously talking about Rosalie right now?"
"You two looked awfully fucking cozy."
"We were talking about BELLA, our shared common problem."
Paul ran his hand through his hair as he stood straighter. "Shared common problem? You guys were basically locked on each other the whole time."
"EVEN IF I WAS, WHY WOULD IT MATTER?" Noticing a few glances shot our way, I lowered my voice. "It shouldn't matter, even if I was, because you're not my boyfriend." A flash of hurt flickered across his face, I would've missed it if I blinked. The hurt was replaced in seconds as he harshly took my face in his hands and pulled me into a bruising kiss.
Sixteen year old me would be having a complete meltdown if she could see me now. As soon as I started kissing back, he pulled away. "Go home, Rory."
Like it was nothing, Paul stormed off, and I went home.
----
It was two days before the new born fight and Edward, Jacob, and Bella were running though plans. "Ok, so Bella and Rory, you guys will go with Jacob up to the camping spot." That caught my attention.
"What? Why me?" Jacob rolled his eyes, and Bella looked at me like I was stupid. "Victoria could be after you, too, and your father as well."
"Yeah, no, I get that, but my dad's not coming with us, so I don't understand why I have to go." Jacob whispered some nonsense to Bella, and she chuckled, and Edward furrowed his brows. "Jacob talked to Paul, and he said it was a good idea too."
Now, it was my turn to scoff. "He's not my keeper." Edward looked between Jacob and me before speaking. "Okay, well, it's a good idea. It's going to keep you and your sister safe, so we're doing it."
"Seth is going to be at the campsite during the fight, so it'll just be you, Bella, and Seth." Nodding, I looked at Bella and Jacob, goofing off, wanted to scream. I hated when people made decisions on my behalf, and I hated that I'd be stuck on a mountain with Bella, Jacob, and Edward.
"We'll meet at your house tomorrow afternoon, and then we'll come to this clearing, the one we're in, and you guys will go to the spot. Your scent will be covered by Jacob's."
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't angry. All I wanted to do was scream. Due to Bella's carelessness and terrible taste in men, I now have to play the defenseless victim.
I walked from the clearing to where I was parked, and my thoughts wandered to Paul. I had no clue why he was speaking on my behalf when he didn't even want to speak to me, period. I'd be lying if I said I I didn't miss him, or that I wasn't thinking about the kiss, but I wasn't breaking first. I wasn't in the wrong.
The evening was approaching quickly, and I shot a quick text to Leah to see if she wanted to come over. Once she said yes, I headed home. I knew Leah would bring dinner, and we'd be up and gossiping.
I'd need to make a list of things I would need for my excursion. The weather would be freezing and windy, and I knew damn well Bella was not going to be prepared, and I didn't really care.
Leah and I pulled up at the same time, making me both excited and hopeful for the night ahead. Once we were settled inside, conversation flowed between bites of pizza.
"I don't know what it is, but he's so angry. He's acting like Jacob when he's sulking over Bella. Has he said anything to you?" I wiped some grease on my sweatpants before shaking my head.
"No, he hasn't said anything to me, but he has been speaking for me." Leah shook her head before scoffing. "Then he shouldn't be sulking."
"Can you promise me something?" Leah's eyes met mine before she nodded at me. "Anything," Leah said, her eyes got big and round, the way she does when she's focused. "Can you keep an eye on Paul for me?"
A scoff escaped her lips and her eyes narrowed. "No, he's a big boy and he's in the doghouse with me. Who does he think he is, kissing you and then throwing a huge fit? He told you to leave and now refuses to talk to you."
Loyal Leah. I was convinced no one would have my back as much as her. While my heart ached at the idea of no one keeping an eye on Paul, I understood her angle.
"Enough about Paul, we need to pack your bag."
----
Afternoon approached faster than I hoped. Once we made it to the clearing, Jacob carried Bella while I followed close behind.
"So what's going on between you and Paul?" Jacob asked as Bella eyed me. curiously. "Well, it's a long story." Bella sighed and Jacob laughed, "Well, we have time."
----
Bella's teeth chattered as Edward tried to soothe her. Jacob was outside and I was under my sleeping bag, nice and snug, warm. As soon as Jacob came into the tent, I flipped on my side, facing away and falling asleep.
----
The bright sun reflected off the snow, making it incredibly hard to open my eyes. Edward and Bella were by the edge of the cliff talking and Jacob was somewhere. Jacob's hearing must be amazing because from the other side of the site, he came storming to Bella as soon as Edward walked off.
I had no clue what was happening, but I could hear Jacob's loud voice. "What? No, no, no." Bella's tight whispers were too low for me to hear, "He's gonna kill you! ... It's just a joke, right? Bella, you're not..." and from the trail off from his voice, I heard Bella yell "Jacob, kiss me, please." And that was my cue to mind my own business.
----
"They've changed direction, they're heading here instead." My ears instantly stood at the confession. Seth whimpered from somewhere, Bella's breath picked up.
Like clockwork, the redhead and her skinny mate stood in front of Bella, they wanted "An eye for an eye," I thought. Seth got the upper hand on the man, Riley, and Edward went after Victoria. I stood and watched; for the first time in a while, I was scared.
My thoughts went to Paul. Was he okay? How many vampires were down there? Would there be bloodshed from anyone I cared for? I knew I needed to focus. Seth picked up that I was panicked, and it threw him off. Riley kicked Seth hard. His large body flew, and Riley's attention flickered to me.
"So this is little swan," he yawned. I hate that stupid nickname. He circled me like a predator to prey, and I could feel myself starting to panic again. "What a delicious little snack."
I watched as Seth stalked behind him. careful not to draw attention to him, Seth, in one sudden swoop, snapped, tearing Riley in a shaking motion.
Victoria had Edward in a tough situation, and as much as I didn't care, my heart ached for the panic Bella must be feeling. Bella, ever the hero, sliced her arm to sidetrack Victoria, Edward forgotten. Edward quickly took care of Victoria, and we waited for the fight in the meadow to be over.
Edward burned everything, except my things. Once the fight was over, I rode on Seth's back to the meadow. Jacob was hurt; the redcoats came and killed the last newborn. The wolves carried Jacob back to his house, and Carlisle came and took care of him.
Bella ran inside Jacob's house as soon as we got to the rez. I took my time getting out of my car, knowing Paul was out there.
"I had him. I don't know why Jacob stepped in."
"Oh, give it a rest, Leah."
The speed of my steps increased as I saw him, Paul. I could care less that he was reprimanding Leah; I just wanted him. Breaking out into a full run, I threw myself at him. Paul caught me like I was nothing.
"Oh my god, Rory, my girl." Paul's voice was hoarse, different than it was when he was bitching at Leah. Not putting me down, he walked us away from the front of the house.
Setting me down, I could see the tears in his eyes. "Rory, I am so sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't stand being away from you."
"Then why are we dancing around each other? I don't understand what we're doing."
Paul lowered his gaze to meet mine. He opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and closed his mouth.
It'd had been days since I talked to Bella and Paul. I was avoiding Bella out of sheer anger and disbelief. Anger that she would endanger our father, dating a cold one and allowing another one to hunt us. Disbelief because this was Bella. Avoiding Paul was a different story.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't angry and upset, because I am. Paul had kept so much from me, and I felt like there was so much more not being said. The feeling alone was enough to make my skin itch and my ears ring. The more I want to avoid Paul, my body longs for me. I truly didn't get it.
It was around 2:30P.M when leah called.
"Get up, we're doing something." She stated, not taking no for an answer. She wasn't invited, but much like when we were younger, she was on time when I needed her most.
The short haired, tall woman stood on ny porch landing. A pizza box sat in her hands and her clothes were wet. I would never get over how beautiful Leah is.
"Can I come in? I brought pizza." That's all it took for Leah and I to hold ourselves in my room, ignoring the world around us. As conversation flowed, the pizza between us slowly disappeared.
"and because of it we've been training with the vampires."
"Who's 'we've'?"
"Me, the pack, seth."
A gasp left my lips at the mention of Seth. In my eyes, hell, in most people's eyes, he was a baby. He was as close as I could get to a younger sibling, other than my actual younger sibling, Bella. Unlike Bella, he didn't get under my skin.
"Seth? But he's so young."
"He's old enough to fight a vampire army, I guess."
The empty pizza box sat empty on my bed. I could hear the wind and rain pelting the window. Leah looked like she had something to say, which wasn't often considering she typically wore a scowl.
"Lele? What?"
"Well, you just..." silence filled the space as I stared at her. "It's just that Paul hasn't been..well, well. He hasn't been well."
I huffed. Of course, Paul got brought up in conversation. Much like Bella, I was choosing to ignore him like the plague. Crazy how there was once a time all I wanted was him, and now I couldn't even bare the thought. Leah's pleading eyes bore into mine.
"Rory, you don't look too good either. I know you're mad, and I understand why, but the distance is taking a toll on both of you."
I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. I wanted to rip posters off the walls and break furniture. The idea of Bella knowing more about my best friends than I did at some point made me unreasonably angry.
"Please, just come to the cabin. You don't even need to talk to him, but everyone misses you." Leah pur her most perfect puppy dog eyes on before she gutted out her lip.
"Yeah, ok, just let me change." Leah silently pumped her fist before she pulled out her phone and started texting whomever. I made my way to the dresser and closet and found something appropriate for the Forks weather. As soon as I was ready, Leah pulled me out of the room, down the front porch steps, and opened her car door for me.
"For you, m'lady."
"Thank you, Lele."
"No one will treat you better than me."
"Oh, I know."
The ride was filled with music and laughs, time spent with Leah was never time wasted. I wished time had slowed down, because before I knew it, we were in front of Emily's cabin.
"Don't do that." Leah said, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Don't do what?" I replied, looking at her.
"You're thinking, too hard. Just let's go. You're good, it's good, we're good."
With that, Leah got out of the car, rounding the hood to my side, before opening my door. She knew she didn't have to get the door every single time, but where boyfriends were nonexistent in my life, she was my built in fake boyfriend, minus the kissing.
Curse the shapeshifters and their hearing ability, because once the door slammed, a heard of shirtless men came running from the cabin.
"Look who it is!" Embry said, getting to me first. Leah stepped back as Embry took me in his arms, spinning me. "I thought the vampires got you."
Leah scoffed as Seth wrapped an arm around me. "I'm so glad Lele got you to come, I've missed you sis!"
Jared and Quil stood further back and greeted me as we walked into the cabin. Jacob was no where to he found, probably sulking somewhere, Sam and Paul were also gone. Emily greeted me at the door with a muffin and a warm glass of tea.
"Come sit, we've missed you!" Emily sat on my left, Leah on my right, and then Kim sat in a chair in front of us. Three sets of eyes bore into me as I placed my tea on the coffee table.
Leah wore her typical scowl, Kim avoided eye contact, and Emily kept her focus on me. I wanted to do anything but sit.
"Paul misses you." And Emily was the first to start the conversation. I didn't know what to say. Laying my emotions out would be risky, even surrounded by a group of understanding women, but I couldn't word the pain, the anger.
"I know, I miss him too. I think knowing Bella knew before I did, about people I considered my best friend and family, being shapeshifters is hard." Kim nodded and Emily grabbed my hand from my lap.
"Rory, I didn't want Bella to know, I didn't want you to know either. Not because I don't love you, but because I didn't want you to see me as a monster. If Paul wasn't such a hot head, Bella wouldn't know." My heart ached at the idea of Leah thinking I'd see her as anything less than my best friend.
"You're not a monster, Lele. I'd never even group it with you. You're still my Leah." Leah looked away before nodding. "Then why can't you see Paul the same way?"
"I don't see him as a monster, but it's different with him. I loved him, I would've cut myself to fit into his life, but he disappeared. And then when it all comes to light I find out Bella knew before me." I felt dumb and childish, but at the same time, it was justified.
If you speak of the devil, he comes.
As if we weren't even talking about him, Paul and Sam walked through the door. Kim went to find Jared, Leah made some excuse about the bathroom, and Emily followed Sam to the kitchen. Paul looked like he'd been struck by a bus.
"Wow, you look like shit." A chuckled escaped Paul's lips as he got closer to me. He moved like he was trying to corner a wild animal, like sudden movements would scare me off. "I could say the same about you."
Now it was my turn to laugh, "Oh? Bite me." I watched has the corners of his eyes crinkle. "Wrong monster, Rors."
Sam interrupted the conversation as soon as it started. "Paul, go get the boys and Leah."
He sighed before turning out of the cabin, I stayed on the couch, unmoving. "You're going to want to be here for this." Emily said before sitting back down next to me.
In record time, 7 big bodies filled the small room. Leah went to make her way back down on my other side before Paul knocked her out of the way, stealing the spot.
Sam cleared his throat, making sure the attention was on him. The room felt stuffy, the heat radiating off Paul wasn't helping.
"The red haired cold one is coming for Bella, with her army. They have been terrorizing Seattle, getting stronger, and as many of you know, the Cullens have asked us to fight with them." Eyes slowly trailed towards Jacob pouting in the corner. If the Cullens didn’t ask for the pack to fight, I'm almost sure Jacob would volunteer willingly.
"In the coming days, the Cullens will be training themselves on how to fight such a strong, young, army, and want us to watch. I told them we'd be there." Sam's words seems to float over my head.
I couldn't believe Bella had put so many people in a situation where they'd potentially lose their life to save hers. Kim seemed to shrink into Jared, Emily shifted her focus to the floor, and Paul crossed his arms. No one other than Jacob seemed happy with this.
"As for Rory." It felt like everyone's eyes snapped to me, "your sister will be at these training sessions, I'm leaving the choice of attendance up to you. The Cullens and I will also be planning safety procedures for you and Bella."
"I'm sorry, I'm not following."
"Which part?"
"Safety procedures for Bella and I? What do I need safety from?"
"The cold one, anymore questions?"
"SAM, kitchen, now." Emily said as she stood. Sam followed behind her like a sick puppy. I turned to Paul.
"Do you want me to go to the training?" I asked, hushed. He shifted closer to me and brought his voice to a whisper.
"It would be nice for you to go, even if you just went for me to keep an eye on you."
"Then it's settled, I'll go."
"Good, maybe I can show off, wow you a little."
I shoved him lightly before rolling my eyes playfully. Sometimes, I found myself getting flustered around him.
"I missed you." He voice came out as a murmur. "I missed you too, Paul."
"I don't like when you're mad at me, or when you're away from me." The room became overwhelming, everyone seemed to be in their own world, while also being present in the last conversation. I grabbed Paul's wrist and hauled him up.
"Woah, WOAH, where are we going." Very few eyes flicked towards us before focusing on other things. I pulled Paul outside. The faint chill from the ocean lingered, mixing with the past scent of rain.
Dropping his wrist once I knew he was following, I wiped my hands on my jeans.
"Sorry, it was getting to be a lot."
I watched as Paul's eyes softened, he stepped closer. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"
"The conversation was important."
"You're important, way more important than a conversation."
The eye contact was overwhelming me more. I feared if I kept looking at him, I wouldn't stop. I turned away and took a breath before I talked.
"I don't want you to fight." It was extremely selfish. To be fair I didn't want anyone to fight, especially not for Bella.
"Rors, I don't have a choice." His breath tickled my neck. "I know, but I'm scared."
His large warm hands rested on my shoulders before he turned me to face him. My eyes immediately made contact with the ground.
"Look at me, Rors." I shook my head, I could feel tears threatening to spill. "Rors." His warmed hand cupped my jaw, tilting my head up.
"I know you're scared, but I'm coming home, even if its the last thing I do."
There was only a few times in my early adult life I've been stunned silent, and all of them surrounded Bella.
When Bella brought a cactus from Arizona, when Bella told dad she had to leave Forks or she'd be trapped here like mom, when she fell down the stairs and through the window at her old dance studio, when she got lost in the woods and Sam Uley had to save her, when she ran away to Italy, and now, finding out she's dating a vampire. That the cullen clan are vampires.
"I don't understand." All the eyes in the room seemed to be focused on the floor, except for Emily's and Leah's.
"If vampires are real does that mean..." I had been around the tribe long enough to hear the folklore, that apparently wasn't folklore.
It was making sense why all of the boys ran around like the weather of the pacific northwest didn't effect them. Paul constantly radiated heat, and now peices were clicking together.
"You guys are shapeshifters." Paul's eyes met mine and that was enough confirmation I needed.
I felt sick. I felt the urge to run, to throw up, to scream. Nothing made sense, while at the same time, everything did.
"And the red head?" Paul's eyes softened as the rest of the room looked at each other for answers.
"She's here for your sister. Edward killed her mate in Phoenix. Eye for an eye if you will. She wants your sister." Sam spoke.
"She was going to kill me." The realization dawned on me like a bag of bricks. Paul whimpered at the idea of it. I looked back up at him.
"You guys were there. You guys were the wolves in the woods." Once again, the room fell silent. Paul felt so incredibly far away. I needed some air. Moving from the couch, I slowly made my way through the door and off the porch.
Footsteps echoed after me, and I knew it was Paul. I wanted to yell at him, i wanted to cry. This is why he disappeared, why they all disappeared. I was sure of it.
"Were you going to tell me?"
"I was going to tell you tonight, after the bonfire."
I nodded my head, refusing to face him as tears threatened to fall from my eyes.
"I promise you, I was going to tell you. The leech came and messed everything up. I took pleasure in chasing, she's lucky she crossed into Canada." For the first time in a while, I looked at Paul. I really looked at him.
"I guess I don't really know what to say."
"Rory, just say anything, please."
"Bella knew? She knows you're wolves?"
"Yeah, when Jacob was going through this transition, she came out to La Push. She blamed Sam and said Jake was scared of us. She shoved me, she then slapped me. I phased."
"When?"
"When the leech was gone."
I was once again, stunned silent. Of course, Bella knew before me. Bella, Bella, Bella. Bella did all of this as soon as I left. I felt the urge to run, to cry, to punch something.
"I'm going to go." Slowly backing away, I patted down my pockets. Grabbing my keys, I walked towards my car. Getting in, I wasted no time peeling out of the driveway. The dam broke and tears freely fell from my eyes.
I couldn't wrap my head around what I was hearing. The people I grew up with turn into huge wolves, my little sister is dating a man who's ice cold and kills people. Our father could be in danger due to her actions.
I made the drive from La Push back to Forks in record time, I wasn't keeping an eye on my speed, I didn't care. Pulling into the driveway, I noticed Bella's truck, but no other car. Parking, I rushed inside.
"Dad? You're home early." Bella called out from the kitchen. I wasted no time walking into the kitchen.
"Oh? Rory? I didn't know you'd be home for dinner." The look on my face must've given me away, because her next words were "what?"
"Don't 'what' me. You're dating a vampire and you're actively putting yourself and dad in danger."
"I'm not putting anyone in danger and who I'm dating is none of your business." I wanted to laugh in her face. She wasn't putting anyone in danger? I'd tell her to say that to the red head.
"Bella, you cannot be serious. Does dad know that your boyfriend survives on a diet of people?"
Saying that must've struck a nerve, because she whipped away from the stove to look at me.
"Oh low blow, like your boyfriend is any different."
"Oh fuck you, you know damn well he's not my boyfriend and that he doesn't eat people because he can eat normal human food. And while we're both standing here, your red headed vampire friend came and visited me today, I was almost a snack."
"Victoria?"
"Yeah, so I've been told."
"Rory, this isn't Edwa-"
The door opened behind us. In walked our father from his very long shift. He pushed past me, giving me a quick kiss on the head before he did the same to Bella.
"It smells delicious in here, Bells. What did you make?"
"Spaghetti."
The conversation was now paused, and I wasn't sure it would ever pick back up. I didn't want to hear what she had to say. I watched as my dad dished up and sat down at the table. He started to eat before he sensed the tension between Bella and I.
"Are you two going to eat or?"
"Yeah dad, I'll serve up." Bella said, moving around the kitchen. I watched her for a second longer before I turned towards Charlie. He looked expectantly at me for a second longer. Turning and walking from the kitchen, I wanted to cry.
I closed my bedroom door behind me before walking to the bed. Kicking off my shoes and taking my glasses off, I laid down. The tears flowed freely off my face, collecting on the pillow below me.
For the first time in my life, I didn't want to be in Forks. I knew two things were sure, I didn't want to see Bella and I really didn't care to see Paul either. I was angry that Bella knew about Paul before I did. Of course, she did. It was always the Bella show and I got to play second fiddle. I was at a crossroad and I didn't know what to do.
As you could imagine, not many words were exchanged between Paul and me. What do you say to someone you grew up with, who then erased themselves from your life? As of now, until I had more answers, I had no reason to talk to him. We were at La Push sooner than I thought. Days move so slowly now that I’m not deathly ill. As soon as we got there, the girls, Kim, Leah, and Emily, staked a claim on me so we could all catch up.
Emily and Leah wanted to know everything. From how college was to what I did in Seattle when I had downtime. Sweet, shy Kim sat silently and took it all in. I didn’t know much about her, but she was learning more about me.Â
“So were there any boys?” Emily asked, causing Kim to perk up. Leah threw her a fake disgusted look before she turned back to me.
“I mean, not really. I mean, sure, there were hook-ups, but nothing serious.”
With nothing more being said, Sam and Jared made their way towards us. Emily announced that she and Sam would be heading back to her cabin to start on dinner. Jared whisked Kim away as they made their way down the beach, leaving Leah and me.
“I wanted to apologize for what Emily said today. A lot of us don’t miss your sister. I couldn’t imagine what kind of slap in the face that was when she said that.”
“I’m used to playing second fiddle to Bella. As soon as she got her, everyone wanted to befriend her and forget about me; it’s only natural you guys did too.” This made Leah scoff.
“It was never like that for me. You were always my closest friend, and leaving you was one of the hardest things I had to do. You don’t know what I mean now, but you will.”
We both turned to the beach and sat in silence. The boys kicked a ball back and forth on the beach, and my eyes immediately found Paul’s form. I missed him. He got hotter than I thought he was when we were kids. He was one of my best friends, like most of the boys, and then one by one, they all disappeared. Losing Paul and Leah hurt the most. While Bella grieved her loss out loud, I suffered in silence. No one had time for me or my feelings when Bella was home. I learned to save the tears for my pillow and brave the day.Â
“You know, you should talk to him. Maybe before the bonfire tonight, I think it would clear up a lot.” Closing my eyes, I let out a breath before I turned to Leah.Â
“Maybe, but I don’t know what I would say. What do you say to someone who disappeared from your life?”
“You’re talking to me just fine, and I did the same thing.”
“While I loved you, I wasn’t in lo-“ I stopped talking, and a gasp escaped Leah.
“YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH HIM???”
“Leah! Shut it.”
A few of the boys looked over at us before they slowly went back to the game they were playing. I looked down at my hands before looking back at the ocean. Leah sighed before she stood and walked off, leaving me to sit.Â
The sand started to feel cold under me. With the lack of Leah's presence, I ached for something to do. Standing up, I looked around the beach. Paul was the only one of the boys who didn't go back to playing whatever game they're playing, instead he starts to walk towards me.
Paul Lahote had the same effect he had on me much like he did in high-school, I was sure I was going to marry him, but then he disappeared.
My body ached to be close to him in ways I couldn't explain. Watching as he came and stood in front of me, a smile graced my face.
"What are you doing, Rors?"
"Well, I was talking to Leah, but she walked off."
"Oh? Do you need some company?"
"Are you offering it?"
A laugh left his throat. A warmth bloomed in my chest as I felt my smile widen.
"You said you'd explain everything when we felt better. I feel better, can you explain."
Like a switch flipped, his smile fell as he started to shake his head.
"No, Rory, it's going to have to wait."
With that, my smile fell.
"What? Why?"
"Rory just drop it"
"No, Paul. You said you'd explain and you're not."
He stepped closer to me, towering over me. My heart was in my chest. He was so handsome that it was hard to be mad. At the same time, I wanted answers. I felt like it was the least I deserved.
"I said drop it."
"I said no."
Watching as he exhaled air, he started to shake his head. He took a step back, and I could already feel the cold air of the beach fill the space where he once was.
"Just wait until after the bonfire tonight. I promise you, Rory, I'll explain."
It was my turn to let out air and shake my head. Looking up at him, i could feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest.
"I'm going to go to the cabin. I'll see you tonight."
"You're not walking alone."
"Paul, just let me go. I'll be fine."
With that, I turned and started walking towards the forest line. There was a path that led directly back to Emily's, and I knew I'd eventually be familiar with it. The woods welcomed me.
The canopy above was a suffocating shroud of cedar and pine, blotting out what little sunlight managed to pierce the Washington mist. I stumbled over a slick root, the damp earth clinging to my shoes. I wanted clarity, deserved clarity—a moment of peace away from the suffocating tension of Paul—but the woods felt different today. They felt occupied.
​A flash of crimson moved between the trunks, faster than a human eye could track. Then, the air went still. Standing atop a moss-covered basalt pillar was a woman. Her hair was a wild, fiery halo of curls that seemed to glow against her pale, marble-like skin. She was beautiful in a dangerous way.
​"So you're the eldest Swan." The red head chuckled. I was frozen in fear, blood cold under my skin. I wish I would've had Paul come with me, now I'd probably never see him again. I just got him back.
​The woman drifted down from the rock, her feet making no sound as they touched the forest floor. She circled me like a shark in shallow water, her eyes a predatory, burning gold that promised nothing but a beautiful end. She reached out, a cold finger tracing the line of my jaw, causing me to flinch away.
​"You're pretty, do you think your sister would miss you?" At that, I perked up.
​"No, I don't think Bella would miss me."
​The redhead paused, her head tilting with the curiosity of a cat. A slow, cruel smile spread across her face, revealing the lethal edges of her teeth.
​"Well, that's too bad, little swan."
​"Why?" I choked out, suddenly finding my voice, though it vibrated with a tremor I couldn't suppress. "If she won't miss me, there’s no point in using me as bait, is there?"
​The redhead’s laugh was like shattering glass. "Bait? Oh, darling, I don't need bait for Edward’s little human. I just like the way the light leaves the eyes of things that are loved. But if you’re unloved..." she leaned in, her breath cold and scentless against my ear. "Then you’re just a snack I don't have to feel guilty about."
I tensed, waiting for anything to happen. The fog that clouded my judgment was making it hard for things to make sense. I was scared, nothing made sense. If this was how I would meet my end, I'd welcome it.
Her cold hand moved the hair away from my neck as she leaned in. I was frozen. It was the one thing they don't teach you about flight or fight, the freezing, the moment you lose the ability to fight back.
Movement rustled from the forest. The redhead perked up, hand leaving the back of my neck.
"Sounds like we have company."
Slowly from the woods emerged gaint wolves, much like the one I almost hit the other night. Low growled seemed to rumble through the ground as the woman slowly backed away from me.
"I guess you'll join me for a bite later, little swan."
With that, a blur of red flashed away from me. Four of the gaint wolves took after her. A dark silver wolf, that looked similar to the one I almost ran over with Bella's truck, slowly walked towards me. Once again, I was frozen in fear. The large animal was beautiful. I've escaped one means of death to become glorified dog food.
A whimper left the wolf as it stalked closer, head bowed. I reached out, almost like instinct, to pet it. It's fur was soft under my fingers as it nestled against my hand. It's eyes seemed familiar, but I couldn't place it. In an instant, the wolf perked up and took off, leaving me in the woods. Waiting a beat, I ran.
I ran all the way back to Emily's, I ran until I was in the small cabin, safe.
"Rory? Are you ok?" Emily rounded the kitchen island, grabbing me, engulfing me into a hug.
"Emily, there's wolves out there. Huge wolves. There's something in those woods."
"Why don't we have a seat and I'll make you some tea."
Emily sat me on the couch before wrapping a blanket around me. She made her way to the kitchen and I could hear her heating up water. I couldn't look away from the windows. I was terrified.
Time seemed to pass in blinks. Emily eventually brought me tea.
"I called Sam and the others, they're coming. You're ok."
I didn't feel ok. I felt sick. I felt hunted. I thought Sam went back with Emily? Where was he that he needed to be called back? I couldn't tell if an hour had passed, or 20 minutes, but suddenly, everyone was back at Emily's.
"Where is she?" The panic is Paul's voice broke me out of my trance. When we made eye contact, I couldn't help but leap from the couch and throw myself into his arms. His large hand cradled the back of my head as a sob ripped through me.
"Shhhhh, you're ok, Rors. I'm here, baby." If I wasn't in such a state of hysteria, I'm sure i would've been flustered. He called me baby.
"I should've listened to you. I should've let you come with me."
"You couldn't have known, you're ok. I promise you, as long as you're with me, you'll be ok. I have you, baby."
The air in the room seemed to still as everyone else went silence.
"Jared, knock it off."
"I didn't say anything."
"No, but you thought it."
I couldn't see the faces but I knew Jared and Jacob were fighting. I went to go pull away from Paul, but he pulled me tighter to him.
"He's right." Paul's voice rumbled against my ear. Jared was right about what? I was genuinely confused.
"Paul, don't start." Finally being able to break away from Paul, I looked at the faces around the room.
"No, I think its time we tell Rory. While we're at it, we should tell her about how her sister is dating a cold one."
A cold one? My eyes tried to make eye contact with anyone in the room, but they all seem to be either looking at each other or at the cold floor.
"What's going on?" I couldn't keep my voice from trembling. No one would meet my gaze. Finally turning back to Paul, I made eye contact.
"Paul, what is going on?" Paul reached out for me, trying to pull me back to him. Tears welled in my eyes.
"Paul..." I could feel my lips tremble into a pout and the tears started to fall.
The next two weeks were the worst two weeks of my life. I was so sick that I was starting to lose muscle mass. I was tied to my bed, hoping some rest would make me feel better, but it didn’t. I spent the time I was awake researching symptoms. I didn’t have a stuffy nose or a cough, but I was constantly nauseous or throwing up. My head constantly hurt, and I was tired.
The only people who came into my room to see me were Jacob and Dad. Once dad noticed I wasn’t getting better, he told me that if I continued on this path for another week, he would call the doctor I’ve seen since I was a girl. Jacob would come over, pace my room, and we would brainstorm what could be making me so sick. We weren’t making progress. My chest started to hurt on top of everything, but I knew it would only worry Jacob and Dad.
By day 17, I was over it; I couldn’t stay awake longer than two hours. Everything hurt, my body was weak, and I felt like I was withering away. Jacob lightly knocked on the bedroom door, not waiting for a response. He stared at me for a moment before he started talking.
“I want to take you somewhere.” Not waiting for a response, he dragged my legs to the foot of the bed, placing slippers on my feet before he cradled me to his chest.
"Jacob, I can't walk." I manage to croak out. Hearing the sound of my voice made me want to cringe, even though my body is too sick to react.
"I know, Rory, you'll be better soon." I could hear the front door closing behind me as we walked, or in this case, was carried, to the Volkswagen Rabbit that sat on the edge of the driveway. I couldn’t move; the sun hurt my closed eyes. Once I was placed in the car, I lost time. The ache of being moved made me groan. Being moved from the car, I realized I had no idea what Jacob meant when he said I'll be better soon, but I was willing to trust him. The combination of the cold air mixed with the warmth of Jacob's skin, causing me to shudder at the sensation. I wanted the pain to go away.
"Jacob! Bring her in." A voice called. I couldn't place it; I wasn't sure if I had ever heard this woman prior to this. Jacob stepped into the home. My eyes hurt, and I couldn't seem to make out shapes. Without my glasses or contacts, I was close to being blind, but it didn't seem to matter now. Nothing seemed to matter. The room around us became silent as Jacob stood still for a moment.
"Where is he?"
"The guest room."
Footsteps echoed both in front and behind us as Jacob made his way through the house. A door creaked open before I was submerged into complete darkness. A growl sounded from somewhere in the room, and my heart stopped. Was I being sacrificed? Maybe this is what Jacob had meant when he said I'll be better soon.
"Put her down, Jake." The voice was hoarse, just like mine. My heart hurt for whoever was suffering the same cruel fate I was.
"Stick your arms out and grab her," Jacob said to the second person in the room. For whatever reason, I was starting to feel better, but it could be a placebo. Similar to when you feel warm right before you die of hypothermia.
Jacob's right arm slipped from under my legs for another arm to replace it, then the same process with my neck. Jacob's arm left, only to be replaced by a different arm. I was brought to a new person's chest, bare this time, and felt the urge to snuggle in. The warmth was welcoming.
"I'll leave you two be."
"Good."
"You're such a prick sometimes. You're lucky you're sick, or it'd be claws out."
"Yeah, right, I'd still beat you sick."
With that, the door opened, let in light, and then closed. I was placed gently on the bed, and the second person got comfortable next to me. My body worked against me and instantly moved closer.
"Rors, I never meant for this to happen. I'm so sorry you're so sick." The voice was less hoarse, and I'm sure if they keep talking, I'll be able to identify it.
"I'm sorry I avoided you." My heart beat faster as I recognized the voice. I would know that voice forever; it was Paul.
Paul? No, that doesn't make sense. I lay quietly, waiting for him to say something else. The only people who call me Rors are my dad and Paul Lahote, but there was no way I was lying next to him. Sick because of him.
"Paul?" I muttered. I knew if I talked louder, my voice would crack. My brain struggled to comprehend what was happening. "It's me, Rory. Get some sleep, and I'll explain everything when we feel better."
With that, my heavy eyelids fell closed. My body relaxed, and for the first time in two weeks, I got a good sleep.
I felt like I could've slept more when I woke. I felt better. Opening my eyes, I realized I wasn't home. I actually had no clue where I was. I felt around for my glasses before standing. I didn't have my glasses.
I swung my weak legs over the side of the bed, and my socked feet hit the floor. Standing from the bed, I realized my legs were like Jell-O from being sick for two weeks. Adorned in strawberry pajama pants, a white tank top with a rabbit on it, and some socks, I was completely and utterly fucked. Where am I?
I slowly moved towards the door. I could hear people talking, not loudly nor about anything important, but just talking. Opening the door, I heard it creak. The voices stopped, and I stopped opening the door. I felt like one of my senses was lost, where I could barely see anything, but it was blurry around me. I stood there for a second longer before I heard footsteps approaching. I could see the figure, but I couldn't make out a face until they were closer.
"Good morning, Rors, let's get you something to eat." Paul Lahote stood right in front of me. My stomach embarrassingly grumbled at the mention of food, and Paul let out a quiet laugh.
"Come on, Emily made breakfast."
His hand was outstretched to mine, and I stood frozen for a second, looking at it.
"I can't see." Eyes meeting mine, his brows furrowed.
"Jacob didn't bring your glasses with him? I knew I should've just come and gotten you myself. I'll be your eyes, nothing's going to get you, I got you." Once again, his hand reached out to mine, and this time I accepted it.
Walking behind him, I noticed how easily his frame overtook mine. Paul was far from the boy he was at 16. Boy Paul was thin and short, but still taller than me. Older Paul was tall and muscular, wider in a sense. He was shirtless, as were all the other men in the room. All eyes were on me, even though I couldn’t make out faces, just blurry shapes and colors.
Jacob was the first one to greet me. Everyone else sat silent.
“I’m so happy you’re better.” He said, reaching out. Another hand came out and slapped his arms away from me. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“What do you think you’re doing? What do you think I’m doing, Paul? I’m greeting my friend.” I looked between the two, confused. Emily came behind me, whisking me to the kitchen island while she served me a plate.
“I’m happy both of you are feeling better. The past two weeks have been terrible for Paul, and I could imagine they were worse for you.”
“I just don’t understand what's happening.”
“But you will, it just takes time,” Emily said, before handing me a plate and pushing me towards the table. Paul seemed to be at my side in an instant.
“Eat, and I’ll take you home,” Paul said, watching me. I felt his gaze on me, considering we were sitting next to each other at the table. My eyes flickered between him and the plate of food. Paul looked very different than he did when he slowly disappeared from my life. Mono hit everyone who was now sitting in the small cabin like a bag of bricks, and they slowly disappeared from 16-year-old Rory’s life. Last year, Bella was befriended by everyone here, and that upset me. Bella got everything, including my friends who made the choice to leave me.
Slowly eating the food on the plate, I felt Paul watching me. I didn’t think too much of it because I didn’t want to think. Everyone in the small cabin went back to doing their own things. As hungry as I was, it was surprising that it took me so long to eat. With the plate empty, Emily came behind me and grabbed the plate.
“Thank you, Emily.” She sent a small smile towards me before Paul started talking.
“I’m going to go get your shoes, and then we can head to your house. Ok?”
“Ok.”
Paul seemed to be gone in an instant, leaving me at the dinner table. I wondered if my dad noticed me missing. I know Bella wouldn’t care. Paul, who was gone for a second, placed my slippers next to me, allowing me to slip them on before he pulled me up. A few people spared us a glance as we went to leave.
“Don’t be a stranger! Tell your sister we miss her.” Emily said as she hugged me. I could hear Leah somewhere behind her scoffing. With a small smile gracing my lips, I nodded as she pulled away from me. I would not be telling Bella that my friends missed her.
“Good bye guys, we’ll be back,” Paul said. Hand in hand, we walked to Paul’s truck. It was the same one he had in high school, but I could tell he had worked on it. He opened the passenger door for me, helping me into it. It took him a second to round the truck to get to the driver's side. No words were exchanged on the ride back to my house. I couldn’t help but look at him. Pulling into the driveway, I almost talked, before I noticed an unfamiliar car in the driveway.
“Who is that?” I asked, mainly to myself, but Paul seemed to have an answer.
“Your sister’s Cullen,” Paul replied, getting out of the truck, rounding to my side.
“What’s Edward doing here? You don’t have to come in.” I muttered, sliding off the truck's bench. Paul took my hand as he coughed out a laugh. I felt foolish for saying he didn’t have to come in. I assumed he had the same hate for Edward as Jacob (and most people) had.
“Come on, let’s get you inside.” Pulling me behind him, I had no other option. The warmth that radiated from the house felt heavenly. Now it was my turn to pull Paul behind me. In my room, I took in the space.
“Is everything ok?” Paul said gently behind me. Nodding, I walked us further into the room. My first order of business was to find my glasses. I swear I left them somewhere. Paul found them faster than I did, and he handed them to me.
“Thank you.” Now with my vision restored, I looked through my closet and dresser to find an outfit. Silence took over as I searched. I wanted to know what everything meant. I couldn’t place the pieces with myself, but I also didn’t want to ask. A knock came from the door, startling both of us.
“Rory? Are you feeling any better?” Charlie asked from behind the door. Walking towards it, I pulled the door open.
“I am feeling much better.” A smile made its way to his face.
“I’m so glad, sweetheart. While you were down, your car got delivered. I took the liberty of changing your very bald tires.”
“Thank you, Dad.”
“I swear, you and your sister love to try and give me a heart attack. All your stuff is in the garage. I have to get back to work.”
Sparing him a small nod, I turned back to Paul, who sat perfectly silent on my bed.
“Why don’t you get changed, and we’ll meet the others at La Push.” Silence hung over us as I stared at him. I had too many questions that would probably never get answers.
“Sounds like a plan.” I felt his eyes on me as I whisked around the small room.
I wanted to punch myself in the face for not taking the opportunity to clown on Bella. Everyone remembers when she brought a potted cactus from Arizona all the way to Washington. I should've picked one up before I flew in. Idiot. Bella would’ve scoffed at me, and Dad would’ve told me it wasn’t nice to pick fun at Bella. They were so much like one another that I felt outcasted the year the three of us shared under one roof.
You live, and you learn, I guess.
Wheeling my suitcase behind me, I noticed the familiar police cruiser in the pickup lane. History repeats itself. Two years ago, it was Bella, and now, it was my turn to be picked up from the airport in Dad's police cruiser. Cars seemed to stay a large distance away from its front and back ends. As soon as I got out of the less-than-busy Port Angeles Airport, Charlie Swan was already on the sidewalk, ready to greet me.
“Rory! Welcome home, sweetheart!” Charlie embraced me before taking the suitcase handle from me. I felt a wave of nausea wash over me at the lack of Bella. From the few calls I’d get from Charlie weekly, I knew the Cullens returned to Forks after Edward left her.
Those three months I spent at home while she recovered from the loss of him were brutal. The nightmares, the waves of depression. While I was happy to be there and take care of her, her grief ruined both her dad and me. Those three months were tough. I was trapped here, caring for Bella until she replaced her need for Charlie and I for the need for Jacob instead.
“Where’s Bells?”
“With the Cullen boy.” No other words would need to be exchanged. We all played second fiddle to Edward Cullen in Bella’s mind.
Settling into the passenger seat, I was thankful that the flight was only 38 minutes, unlike Bella. Charlie spared me a glance before pulling out of the lane. I made myself comfortable for the almost two-hour drive back to the place that both raised me and broke me all at once. No amount of small talk could save me from the impending doom that filled me. A lot of people in Forks admired my father for what he does, so I went to college to have that same impact. I actually overachieved Bella, by attending online college classes while in High School so I could fast-track my life. The only issue? I didn’t fit into big city life. Seattle was great, the University of Washington was a dream come true, but it wasn’t me; a large part of me longed for home. For Forks. As if Charlie could read my mind, he took the opportunity to start talking.
"I can't believe after all that time in Seattle, you still came home."
"Seattle was temporary. We both knew I couldn't stay away from Forks." But god, did a large part of me wish I could escape the grasp home had on me.
Where there was small talk, there was also silence. Dad and I were always closer than he and Bella; we would talk almost daily. After Bella returned home, I finished my senior year that year at Forks High School while I attended online classes at the University of Washington’s School of Business. I spent a year and a half attending classes, working, and exploring the city. I missed home, I missed Jacob and Embry and Jared. I missed Paul, no matter how much I wanted to hate him. Bella fell into a different crowd of friends and found herself hanging out with the Cullen children, while I was the outcast, both at school and at home.
“I heard Jacob and some of your old friends are throwing you a welcome home party,” Charlie said, glancing between me and the road. “I assume Bella’s not coming?” My heart ached as I already knew the answer. Bella was a baby when she left Forks with her mom, and then she’d come and visit every year until she was 5, and then, much like mom, I never saw her. It had always been Charlie and me for as long as I could remember. After Bella came home, our relationship didn’t get any better; she was hung up on the Cullen boy, Edward, while I was focused on my future.
“No. She’s not coming; she has a really weird relationship with Jacob now that she’s been with Edward.” Slowly nodding, I let out a sigh before looking out the window. A little bit of me prayed that time would go faster, while a large part of me knew it wouldn’t. My heart longed for familiarity.
As the drive continued on, small talk varied from sports talk to what I plan to do with my future. The scenery changed from marine life and mountains to damp, wet forests. I was happy to be home; it was one of my favorite places, while Bella hated everything to do with the Pacific Northwest, aside from Edward. Charlie parked the police cruiser in the driveway next to Bella’s truck. “Welcome home, Rory,” Charlie said before getting out of the car. Getting out of the car myself, a sudden rush of familiarity filled me. It almost made the time away worth it, knowing I was able to come home and start my forever.
“Take this, and I’ll grab your suitcase, Rors.” Grabbing my carry-on, I followed behind Charlie as we made our way into our home. The interior hadn’t changed much; it was still the cozy home I grew up in. I watched as Charlie wheeled my suitcase into my room on the lower level; the overwhelming gratefulness of being home filled my body, but also filled me with slight dread. While standing in the living room, I felt my phone vibrate from my back pocket. Setting my carry-on down, I pulled my phone out, seeing that Jacob had texted me.
Welcome Home, Rory! The pack and I are throwing a party down on La Push Beach, and YOU’RE INVITED!! It’s crucial for you to be there, so you can’t say no. See you tonight at 6.
Sighing and rubbing my forehead, I locked my phone. Charlie seemed to walk around me in the small living room before walking towards the kitchen. It would only be a few seconds before I heard the fridge close and a can open. “I have no clue when Bells is going to be home, but she said you can drive her truck while she’s out. I’m sure she won’t mind you borrowing it until your car gets here.” Charlie sat on the couch, turning on the TV. “Well, thank you, Dad. I’m going to take my bag and settle in.” I picked up my carry-on and walked from the living room to my room, which shared a wall.
The TV was on before I even left the room. I couldn’t blame him; the drive was draining. As I closed the door, I took in the cold state of my room. It sat untouched from when I left. Knowing no one came in here, or cared to bring the slightest bit of life back into the room, irked me. There wasn’t much to unpack from the suitcase or the backpack that flew with me; most of it would be delivered with my car. Rummaging through my closet and drawers, I took mental note that a lot of the items I currently possessed would need to be donated. Outfit-wise, I knew I could put together an outfit, but I didn’t know the vibes I wanted to portray. I found an old pair of patterned pants, a dark blue long-sleeved shirt, and paired them with some worn dark blue Sketchers. Grabbing my purse, my digital camera, and my fleece-lined jean jacket, I was ready to go.
I knew the drive from Forks to Second Beach was going to take me 20 minutes, and it was already nearing four. I wanted to put my head through the wall. I wish the earth would swallow me whole and make it so I didn’t have to bear the elements for a welcome home party, but my old friends were making more of an effort than my sister, so I got to walking.
“Bella’s keys are on the entry table. Please be safe out there tonight. There are bears, and who knows what is out there.” Sparing one more glance at Charlie on the couch, I grabbed the keys.
“I’ll be careful. I love you, Dad.”
“Love you too, Rory.”
Looking at Bella’s truck, I wanted to scream. Bella made us take her truck every morning, rain or shine, to school, and then she started getting rides with Edward Cullen. I was so lucky I knew how to drive stick. My stomach rumbled as I got in the truck. I prayed they’d have food at this impromptu welcome home bonfire party. Hooking my phone up to Bella’s radio, we were ready to go.
The drive was filled with the noise of music and my empty head thoughts. Who’s all going to the bonfire tonight? Will there be food? I really hope Paul won’t be there. I miss him. I shouldn’t. I could crash right now, and I guarantee no one would care.
After the last thought, I just shut my brain off. Twenty minutes felt like an hour, but when I pulled into the parking lot, the worry released me. The sun was setting, and there were people on the beach, and this is what I felt like I was missing. Pulling into a spot, I took a minute to breathe before getting out of the truck. The slam of the door seemed to break up the chatter on the beach, and in an instant, what felt like a hundred eyes seemed to fall on me.
A familiar face seemed to run up to me and pick me up in an instant.
“Rory, where the hell have you been, loca?”
“Never say that shit to me again.”
“Bully. Everyone is waiting for you.”
“When you say everyone..”
“Just let's go.” With that, Jacob grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the large party of people on the beach.
“No, they were,” Jacob said between mouthfuls of food.
“But he’s with her cousin now?”
Nodding, he continued chewing before answering me. Naturally, I was confused, but I also loved to have a little bit of gossip here and there.
“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but because you’re my favorite Swan -”
“Don’t lie to me at my welcome home party.”
“Anyways. Leah and Sam were together, but in a turn of events, after Harry’s funeral, Emily and Sam ended up together.”
I tried to keep my jaw from opening, but I was also in disbelief. There were very few people I was close to, and Leah Clearwater was one of those people. Looking around, I noticed everyone was doing their own thing. Sam and Emily were cuddled up by the fire, Seth and Leah were kicking a ball around, and I honestly had no clue where Jared, Embry, Quil, and Paul were. If I had to guess, they were up to no good.
“Are you going to finish that?” Jacob Black’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
“No, here. Where is everyone?” I knew Jacob would understand the question.
“They’ll be here, including Paul.”
The more I sat, the more restless I got. My body ached for something, but I couldn’t place it. If it wasn’t so bone-chillingly cold, I’d run into the ocean. As the night slowly crept on, more people started to show up. First, it was Embry; he didn’t have much to say, and he looked tired. Next was Jared and Kim. I wasn’t very close to Jared; he was always more Paul’s friend. Kim seemed nice, sweet, and quiet, the opposite of Jared. The more I looked at my friends, the more I started to wonder if Bella was right. Maybe Sam Uley is running a cult. As time ticked on, conversations had been had, food had been eaten, and I was tired, to say the least. A little bit of me started to think that maybe Paul and Quil weren’t showing up, and that’s fine, yet a bit of my heart still ached.
“Jacob, I think I’m going to head home.”
“You haven’t seen Paul nor Quil yet, just wait.”
If you speak of the devil, he shows, and this time, he was no different. Like they magnatized from sand and rock, Paul and Quil came walking from the tree line onto the sand. It wasn’t hard to stare or watch them, because unlike everyone else, they were shirtless in the cold. It almost made me long for something warmer than my jacket, like my bed. Quil ran to me, scooping me up like I weighed nothing.
“There’s my favorite Swan.”
“Y’all need new lies, I already heard that one from Jake.”
“Well, unlike Jake, I’m not lying.”
Being placed back on solid ground, I turned to Paul. My body wanted to run, but my heart beat in anticipation to see the man I once had a crush on, the man I once considered my best friend. He looked so different from the last time I saw him. He was stronger and taller. He was always taller than my 5’8 frame, but he was taller now. It was when we made eye contact, something shifted. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. My ears rang and my vision blurred. As soon as he was in front of me, he was gone.
“Well, we're probably going to clean up and head in for the night,” Jacob said suddenly.
“R-right, it’s late, I should be going.”
I thanked everyone who came who was still huddled around the bonfire before slowly walking towards Bella’s truck. Watching Paul run off left a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, so it was probably best that I leave. I sat on the bench of the truck before I pulled out of my spot and started home. The roads were dark, and Bella’s brights on her truck weren’t very good. I was on edge, all while being tired.
I was almost home when I caught movement in the trees. Like clockwork, a large animal darted in front of Bella’s truck, causing me to slam on the brakes. In front of me, a large wolf stood. It stared at me through the windshield. Its eyes seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place them. A moment passed before the large animal ran off. Slowly continuing on, I made my way home at a snail's pace.
Once I got home, I slid my shoes off at the door and dropped Bella’s keys in the bowl on the table. From the entryway, I heard someone in the kitchen, immediately spooked, especially after the night I’ve had. Rounding the corner, I saw Bella; she had a glass of water in one hand, and the other rested on the counter. I watched as she stared out the kitchen window. Sensing my presence, she turned to me.
“Rory! You scared me. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when Dad picked you up. I had … other plans.” Nodding, I made my way to the fridge, now standing next to Bella in the small space.
“It’s fine, I figured as much. I was honestly mad I didn’t bring a cactus home for you.”
“You think you’re so funny.” Bella scoffed, turning to leave the small kitchen.
“Because, unlike you, I actually am. Good night, Bella.” I said, grabbing a cup from the cupboard for a glass of milk. I suddenly wasn’t feeling too good and planned to go to bed as soon as she went upstairs.
“Keep telling yourself that. Good night, Rory.” As soon as she was in the kitchen, she was gone. Her haunting aura left the space with her. If she weren’t my sister, I’d probably have the same reaction to her as Jessica Stanly did.
Brushing it off, I drank my milk, rinsed out my cup, and finally went to my room. I pulled out some old pajamas, changed, and snuggled into the old, worn blankets. I’d have to wash my bedding tomorrow and dust my room. The day after, I would start looking for a job. Slowly drifting off, I said a silent prayer that I wasn’t sick. It wasn’t even cold and flu season.
