Bisexual Polyglot @swannwolffonfiree - Tumblr Blog

weaver-z

Most feral people on Earth:

Marching bands stopping to get lunch while on a road trip

Debate teams while getting dinner in an unfamiliar city

Theater kids at a restaurant after a show

flutejesus

You could just say “artists celebrating” and leave it at that

hermiione

Hogwarts is my home.

hellenhighwater

When I was a kid, my mom was a judge and my dad was starting his solo practice, and they both worked full time. There were four of us kids between the ages of one and seven (the Just Us League) and no decent daycares nearby, so they hired a nanny. She had three almost-adult children, and on days when she couldn’t work, one of her kids would substitute. The oldest kid was named Bob, age 18, and he had just finished army basic training when this all went down. Bob did not have the good sense god gave a rock.

I have an older brother, Jake, who was seven; then me, Hellen, age five, then Seth, age three, and my little sister Gin would have been one. It was late August, and we were at our nanny’s house, though she was gone for the day. Bob was in charge.

Bob should probably not have been in charge.

Bob tried keeping us entertained with board games and tag and movies. Gin took a nap. Eventually he decided to get creative, and sat us down in the living room with a game and vanished into the garage. There was a smashing sound. And then some saw noises. And then some hammering. And then we saw him going around the house to the back yard through the windows, though we were too short to see what he was doing. And finally, he yelled to us to come out into the driveway.

Jake and Seth and I trooped out. Bob had both hands behind his back. He stepped up to Jake and revealed what he had in his right hand.

It was a wooden sword. It was clearly made from what appeared to be parts of a chair’s legs, cut down and nailed together. He presented this, and announced, “You are Sir Jake, the strongest knight!”

He stepped up to Seth and presented what was in his left hand. It was another wooden sword, smaller than the first, also crudely made out of chair legs. He announced, “You are Sir Seth, the bravest knight!”

At this point, I was practically vibrating in place, waiting eagerly for my sword so I could use it to whale on my brothers, as god intended me to do. I was therefore understandably disappointed to be presented with the business end of a garden hose and told, “You are Miss Hellen, the Water Fairy!”

“No,” I said. “I want a sword.”

Bob was confused. “But you get water magic! Magic’s great!”

“No.” I repeated, holding the hose. It had a spray nozzle set to jet. “I want a sword.”

“Magic’s great. Magic’s better than a sword.” Bob insisted. “You’ll see. Wait here a moment.”

And then Bob ran around the side of house and vanished.

We stood in the driveway. Jake and Seth poked each other with their swords. I spritzed them idly with the hose, trying to decide which of them would be easier to steal a sword from.

And then we heard a quiet wooshing noise, and smelled smoke.

We turned. As we watched, a line of fire rushed around the corner of the house, consuming a path of gasoline poured into the dry August grass.

We paused and considered this for a few moments. I raised the hose and sprayed a jet of water at the fire. It went out. We glanced at each other. Then we took off running, following the trail of fire, spraying as we went.

The fire led in a path around the house to the back yard. As we turned the corner, we saw Bob, clad in a bathrobe and holding a curtain rod, standing in the center of a large ring of burning grass. He cackled manically. “I am the FIRE WIZARD! Your puny swords are useless! Nothing but water magic can defeat me!”

I promptly blasted him with the hose. He spluttered. The fire did not go out.

I turned the hose on the fire itself, spraying a section close to us so that it would extinguish. As soon as there was enough room, Jake charged forward, brandishing his chair leg sword with a battle cry. Seth, always happy to be included, followed. They ran into the circle and began beating Bob around the kneecaps with their swords. I kept spraying.

Eventually, Bob the Fire Wizard was brought down and all the fire was extinguished. Seth and Jake continued to work on bruising Bob’s shins, and I quickly discarded the hose to lend my fists and extremely pointy elbows to the cause. Bob lay in the smoldering grass, probably regretting using such sturdy chair legs.

Once we’d all tired ourselves out and lay panting in a heap, Bob decided it was time for the moral of the story. “You see, a sword is nothing compared to the power of a little girl with **magic**.”

We thought about this for a few moments. Bob nodded wisely. Jake and Seth nodded back.

“I still want a sword.” I said.

hellenhighwater

This was one of those childhood memories that I always sort of looked at sideways, like “this can’t be right, that didn’t happen.” until one day I brought it up at a family dinner and confirmed: this 100% actually occurred.

catchymemes

donnaten

thingstolovefor

tavon-hamlet

I knew uncle Phil was real and would kill for Will at this moment.

crimeshetyped

Uncle Phil was raw af

mxke-y0u-mxne

^^

ingridbergman-deactivated202001

amargedom

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.” because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.”

Osho (via amargedom)

maedhrus

“All I ever wanted was to be a good sister to you. Guess I pretty much failed at that.”

(insp.)

goodreadss

We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.

J.K. Rowling (via goodreadss)

goodreadss

Things are what they are and will be what they will be.

Oscar Wilde (via goodreadss)

culpers

Ask for help. You’re not invincible. You go out there and you find your chosen family.

queerembraces

David Wojnarowicz wore this jacket in 1988, just 4 years before he’d ultimately die from AIDS. Sadly, just a few years ago some of his artistic work was censored at the Smithsonian. People in power are still content to try and erase his history and the continued struggles of people with AIDS