root vegetable enthusiast

she/they

[hotvampireadjacent]

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[segamascott]

[chromaticabrasions]

yknow,,…. i’m actually immortal and can’t die ever….. *gets really shy* i mean i am pervious to death and such and have died many times before *gets even shyer* i mean. um. umm. i. um. well. um. *gets mayfly* *(the insect)* i’m mayfly

[hotvampireadjacent]

[thememedaddy]

[parliamentrook]

I can now say with confidence the worst pasta shape to spill in your pantry is acini de pepe

[dramatic-dolphin]

i love that the part of bees' hind legs where they collect the pollen is actually called "pollen basket" because whenever i see a bee who has visibly collected a ton of pollen i do say "look, her basket is full!!" good to know everyone before me has thought the same thing too.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

me [age 19, still thinking I'm neurotypical]: here is my definitive ranking of buttons by tactile satisfaction

[thememedaddy]

[lawoftheclaw-deactivated2025073]

🕯️my future employer will not find my balatro porn repository 🕯️

🕯️i am a qualified candidate regardless of my collection of balatro porn🕯️

🕯️even if my balatro porn is discovered, the dedication and ingenuity i alone can bring to any prospective employer's team will outweigh any perceived transgressions🕯️

[horsefigureoftheday]

OP turned off reblogs but I need this on my blog. Sorry you had to learn about bean removal like this.

[valtsv]

i would #thrive in an arctic penal colony

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

worst family in the universe

[byjove]

I had too much caffeine and now I feel terrified for no particular reason and too nauseous to eat, which would be the only thing that could possibly remedy this. Many such cases. Caffeine can be a constant companion and still betray you when you least expect it.

[segamascott]

erika kirk being handed the golden opportunity to be the face of conservatives for the rest of her life and then fumbling it instantly by being genuinely unlikable and off-putting will always be funny to me almost as funny as remembering that charlie kirk got shot in the neck and died

[proudpoe]

Howl?? From Howl’s Moving Castle??

[emomemolemoemo]