Previously on Small World: YN having recently gone through a divorce seeks out a fresh start, she moves to Montana with her friend Marie and while the sky might be big, the world turns out to be small when she reunites with an old friend of her dad's Beau Arlen. Things were going well, she bought a horse, but then she disappears
Summary: Beau and Walter begin searching for you, thinking that your mother is involved in your disappearance. They might be onto something but they might miss finding you because they're looking too hard
Pairing: Beau Arlen x Reader
Warnings: age gap (both legal consenting adults), typical Big Sky situations, as the title warns Agoraphobia, panic attacks, mental breaks, undiagnosed autism, trauma, abuse, mommy issues, PTSD/cptsd, nightmares, paranoia, possibly sleep walking, sleep paralysis, or night terrors
As Denise began searching for your mother, Walter watched Beau pace and they both looked at each other to acknowledge how worried he was
"Beau.....I found her mother, but, I highly doubt a 69 year old woman in bad health from North Carolina somehow made it to Montana to take her," Denise tells him looking up at him. She is met with silence and he nods eventually speaking, "yeah....yeah...me too"
"We shouldn't write it out though," Walter reminds them.
".......So...w-what now?" Beau asks them, kicking a chair nearby him in frustration.
"We take a deep breath, we stay calm." Denise reminds him. "Okay, what do we know?"
"Uh," Beau runs his hand through his hair to push it back. "She was last seen last night, Marie saw her go to bed. She never came out and Marie didn't see her this morning. Marie and Popps haven't been able to get her on the phone. She uh-," he squeezes his eyes shut and throws his head back, trying to will himself to stay calm. "She was supposed to go this morning to pick up her horse Mirabel and walk it to Cas's ranch but she never showed. Me and Walter and Cormack thought she may have stopped at the Blue Fox but she wasn't there, we have been keeping close watch on the roads. We think she may have picked up the horse because when we there, at the diner, the horse passed by outside and we took her out to the ranch. No sign of YN....."
"Okay....and she had the day off of work?" Denise asks and Beau nods, "Yeah, yeah, she took it off to pick up Mirabel and get her settled and then tonight we had a movie night planned...."
"Okay, so, no use in calling the store, but, I'll call anyway and just tell them to keep their eyes peeled. Have you called her?" Denise asks and he shakes his head no. "Haven't had time...." "Okay, then you call her first and see if you get a response." She tells him and then looks to Walter
"Why do you think her mother had anything to do with it?"
Walter shrugs. "A feeling ..I suppose....he said YN used to stay with him to protect her when she was a child, that her father didn't trust her mother....," Denise nods and then looks to Beau who had just tried to call you and had gotten no answer
"Noth--" "Okay, call the farms where she was purchasing the horse, ask if they saw her?" She suggests and again Beau nods. As he is on the phone they watch his eyes move, first his brows knit together and his eyes crinkle from stress and confusion, he blinks, breathes deeply, and hangs up
"Well?" She asks expectantly. "They said they hadn't seen her but Mirabel was gone when they went out early this morning before the sun came up, they assumed she somehow opened her stall herself and escaped and the husband went out looking for her and gave up after a few hours assuming she had keeled over on the side of the road. Nothing else was amiss in the stables....."
"Are there any other possibilities?" She looks to the men
"We could check her home," Walter suggests softly with a shrug
"That's as good a plan as any we have right now. I'll look into her husband and their past for anything else and I'll keep trying to reach her, maybe her phone died...."
Beau wasted no time in nodding and marching out in long strides to his truck to leave, Walter followed suit
With his gun ready, Beau enters Marie's house and walks around searching for you, signaling Walter to split up and look as well. Beau looks in every room, carefully taking in details while looking for you.
"YN," he calls out in his deepest baritone possible. "YN, are you here?" Nothing.
"YN, if you're here, it's me, it's Beau...."
"There's no one here ....," Walter says behind him and he lowers his gun, wiping his hand over his face when he hears something. "Hey, you hear that?" He raises his gun back on guard again and looks around
"It's her cellphone....," Walter says eyeing it left on your nightstand and Beau immediately grabs it and sits on your bed. It was another call from Popps. "Popps, hey, it's me Beau, we still haven't found her but we're at her place now, she left her phone....," he runs the whole morning and search by him so far before hanging up and sighing. He flops to lay down for a second, before he sits back up, resting his weight on his arm with his resting unmindfully on your pillow
"What are you doing?" Walter asks him
"Searching her call logs.....," Beau says scrolling past the upteen calls you had received this morning and the familiar ones from himself or any of the others over the past weeks. He stops at around twelve days before and then he texts Denise to run the two unfamiliar numbers
Beau to Denise: Run these two numbers. The Life Alert one I am willing to bet is her mom. Loved to use health scares to manipulate her. The other one, what is that area code? *Screenshots attached*
He and Walter wait in silence, Walter peering over his shoulder, down at his phone with him. "What did she do?" "Ever heard of The Boy Who Cried Wolf?" Walter nods. "That."
"What do you mean?" He asks and Beau sighs softly. "Y'know how your mom used to make you do things, saying she was protecting you?" Walter nods. "Her mother made her do things by making her think that she had to protect her"
"I understand," Walter nods, now understanding what he was saying. When Beau's phone pings with a response from Denise. "So I was right, it is something to do with her mother?" "Maybe....," Beau answers, opening the message
Denise: Ran them both, nothing from the Utah number, HIPPA and stuff y'know. The other one, North Carolina area code.
Walter and Beau look at each other knowingly and Beau's sends a quick response of thankyou to Denise
"She never makes her bed.....," he looks behind himself, "I should put her pilla' back in the case....," he says and starts doing so after standing and putting both of your phones in his jean pockets
"Mm~mygawd, Marie, I swear, you make the best peach cobbler," you moan and praise her as you lean over the back of your chair, "even better apple pie though~," you smirk hinting
"Thankyou," she giggles, "Tomorrow after work since you have your movie night I'm going out for margaritas with the girls at work," she informs you as she licks her thumb and puts the dish in the fridge
You nod, "Okie dokie, have fun. I'm pickin' up Mirabel in the mornin' and takin' her to Cassie's. I took off work so I reckon I'll just be dilly dallying until I go over to Beau's"
"YN....are you sure getting that horse was a good idea?" She asks you with concern for the horse and raises a brow
"That horse's name is Mirabel, and yes, I am sure about getting that horse"
"Well...alright....are you sure that if she doesn't improve you'll be able to handle it?"
"Handle it, how do you mean 'xac'ly? It'll hurt, but, I'm way too good at goodbyes.....I wanna thank' she'll be alrigh' though, she's tough"
"Okay.....well, I'm gonna call it a night," she comes over and you both hug each other goodnight, "sleep tight," she smiles and goes off to bed.
You smile and sit down, eyeing the fridge and debating another dollop of cobbler, the side of getting another one wins. You eat it while listening to and reading a chapter in your current book. The listening sometimes help you focus and read faster, yes, you differentiated between the two, but, you actually did have the physical book and were simultaneously reading along. After you finish the cobbler and place the dishes in the dishwasher and run it you go off to your room to get ready for bed. Having already washed up before dinner you just crawl right in
In your mind, you're aware that it is a dream this time, once again it was being highjacked by your mom. You recently received a call from the hospital back home, one near the home you shared with your husband--ex husband, your ex husband, the one who's number you didn't block because you had to block several of the local ones there. It was a nurse or someone asking you to come and see your mom, that she had been admitted in and it was legit this time. You had thought hard about it, but you knew, you knew that going back to see her would just open the door for all of the old crap that you had gotten away from to start over. You had been free for over a year and you had been good for at least half of it. The nightmares had stopped, you hadn't sleep walked, you hadn't had any flashbacks in the form of bad dreams that left you aware that they were dreams only because of subtle details in them being off; everything would be a memory and feel so real, except for maybe something like instead of the place where it actually occured would be your home then that you lived in at the time. That's how you would realize and you would try to respond in your mind, in your sleep, in your dream, but, would find yourself instead actually waking and bolting to sit up right in a cold sweat mid scream that physically was impossible to come, unable to breathe and gasping with your eyes darting around the room trying to grasp your surroundings and process, separate the real from what wasn't. Until that call. Since that call it had begun again. Maybe two days later, or the next day, you weren't sure exactly, but, you must have subconsciously realized that she would be checking out of the hospital and while you were sleeping you thought that she had checked out and had someone bring her to you and you thought she was pounding on your door and screaming; you hugged the blanket tighter, squeezed your eyes really tight, and pretended to sleep until it stopped. The dream a few nights ago you dreamed that you were on a pro baseball team, your team had won and whilst you were celebrating with them at a party and that you had gotten a call from the Life Alert number the night before, in the dream, and whilst celebrating the coach pulls you off to the side and tells you that she had died. This morning, or last night, you didn't look at the time, you were having what was an obvious dream, your mother was sweetly talking to you and about you to company. She was in her recliner and talking you up to them, she was also insisting on buying you things and this that and the third and you were respectfully and politely declining, practically begging as you always had, because you knew this game. You were keeping the smile and the act for the unknown guest and the more you declined, the more your mother changed, the guilt tripping was already beginning. And then, outside of your dream you heard what you could swear was a giant water bug or something clicking and crawling across from you behind one of your posters on your wall and you weren't scared of their existence, were they bothersome? Yes, but, you had way too many crawl on you in your sleep and some almost crawl in your mouth growing up and the jumpscare is what got you. You wake, looking to see if you see the bug or whatever was making that sound, there was nothing. Ofcourse there was nothing, you and Marie both kept things pristine and clean. She came from "cleanliness is next to Godliness" Catholic fear and you came in filth and fear and the experience that came along with it. Bless your dad's heart, he tried to keep it clean, but, with where you lived surrounded by either sand in the sandhills and Foothills or the swamplands in the midlands of the Carolinas, add that to your mother's hoarding and there was no escaping bugs; in abundance. There was nothing you could see that was making that noice, so, you tried to sleep but it got worse. The screaming got worse and then she got that blank stare
The sun was up when you woke up, you could see it peeping through the cracks in the door. You were on the closet floor and unsure of how you got there and there was someone in the house, you could hear the creaking on boots making soft steps around the house and then you hear talking, it takes you a while to realize it's a familiar voice, Beau's. Until you realized it was him you had held your breath and gone stark still, completely silent
Reaching behind yourself you grab your bat and slowly come out of the closet, you couldn't be sure it was Beau. Stepping out you see Beau putting your pillow back into it's pillow case. "DON'T TOUCH IT! PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T TOUCH IT!! PLEASE!! I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING LIKE DOG SHIT AND MY PILLOW IS HOW I LIKE IT PLEASE DON'T TOUCH IT!!" You hear yourself scream in a pitch that matches your fear instead of your rage in the moment and feel yourself starting to cry
Beau looks relieved to just see you in that split second but when you start screaming he looks at you in confusion and he holds his hands up in surrender after putting his gun away
"Okay, okay, I'm not touching it," he says softly, making sure you see his hands. "You're not laughing?" You find yourself saying through the silent sobs, you knew your body was shaking, you were shaking inside
"Why would I laugh darlin'?" Beau asks sincerely, tilting his head a little to the side as he's approaching you so slowly you don't see his feet moving
"C-Carter used to laugh when I freaked out about my pillow...."
"I'm not going to laugh at you. It's not funny. Hey...put down the bat? Please?" He asks and before you can answer he had already grabbed it and tossed it to Walter and pulled your head into his chest. "Were you really in the closet all morning?" "I don't know....I just woke-...I just...I just woke up when I heard you...."
"I've got you," he says softly into your hair and kisses the top of your head as he hugs it, "I've got you......w-why were you in the closet? Aren't you claustrophobic?" He chuckles softly, not laughing at you, just feeling relief. You shake your head no, "I like small dark spaces," you mumble into his chest, just shy of his chest because of your height. He pulls away just to take his coat off and slide it on you.
"Okay.....Walter, do you mind calling everyone and letting them know?" Walter nods and begins doing so. "YN"
You glance over at him, now back in Beau's embrace, not wanting to leave. "You and your horse are meant to be together, she went looking for you," Walter smiles, trying to help you feel better
Summary: Beau used to let you live with him when you were little sometimes, you never knew why, but, you always loved it. It has been years since you have seen each other, you grew up, after your divorce you want a fresh start and move to Montana where your friend Marie lives to stay with her.
Pairing: Beau Arlen x Reader
Warnings: age gap (both legal consenting adults), typical Big Sky type situations
"Ah~, I seriously again, I can't thank you enough," You smile and walk around the front of Marie's Jeep to hug her and you both wrap your arms around each other when you pull up at the diner in Helena.
"So....this is Montana huh?" You ask her, sticking your hands flatly in the back pockets of your jeans as you look out and at the scenery. "Smiling faces and beautiful places-"
"Stands corrected?" She giggles
"Oh absolutely, I mean the mountains alone are just breath taking. I'm definitely going to be getting into hiking," you chuckle
"Yeah, big sky country....."
"Please, Texas sky is the biggest one I've seen~," you start smiling over at her and singing, looking at her expectantly
"And it still ain't big enough for you and me~," she sings the next lyric and smiles before you hug each other's necks tightly. You met over a decade ago and life and time separated you but had missed each other very much
"Alright, alright, so, what's the plan?" You ask her as you pull away
"I thought you'd be hungry so we could grab a bite and then I'd introduce you to everyone in town before we go home"
"Sounds good. Listen, is this a shake of hands type of town? I'm going to need work....nothing fancy, but enough to pitch in"
"Don't worry, you can find something." She assures you and after you both eat as promised she shows you around. The first stop is the PI office of Dewell & Hoyt where you meet Denice and Cassie Dewell and then she takes you to the police station. You listen to her go on about the Sheriff, once again. She hadn't shut up about him for weeks, or at least how cute he was. She had only referred to him as the Sheriff and described his physical attributes. Knowing Marie's type you didn't expect to share her opinion, but, you didn't really have a type so who knew. You weren't going with that intention anyways, not weeks after your divorce
Reaching the station she steps in first and you follow suit. Ofcourse Marie knows everyone and everyone knows Marie, you smile completely not shocked at all when she's showered in warm welcome and greetings and walks right up to the desk to accept the offering of some mini powdered donuts from one of the women and they start chit chatting about something; probably her eyes, based on how Marie was tilting her head to look in them, she's an optometrist. You wait quietly a bit anxiously in the place you had came in, arms crossed over your chest and giving everyone a friendly nod and wave, rocking on your heels as you wait
"What's all the commotion?" The Sheriff asks, stepping out and looks around. His bright smile scanning the room, "Ah, Hey Marie, how are ya?"
"Hi Sheriff, this is my frien--," Marie begins to introduce you but you and Beau had already recognized each other. There was a moment where you stared at each other, you couldn't be sure how long the moment was, but, certainly not long because the next thing you knew before you could stop yourself you heard yourself exclaim, "BEAU BEAU!!" Then you had jumped and wrapped your arms around his neck and he was smiling ear to ear and wrapping his arms tightly around your back, giving you a spin as you're both laughing
"You two know each other?" She asks and he places you down
"Yeah, yeah, we used to, I used to live with Beau sometimes when I was little," you explain
"Oh? Why?" She asks curiously
Beau clears his throat, "I knew her dad----Y/N, wow....look at you....you're...you're not a kid anymore," he laughs as he takes you in, "still the size of one"
You give his arm a playful shove, "Yeah, I'm still short and tiny, plus side, I'm the same height that Gimli's stunt double and miniature was"
"I never would have pegged you to become queen of the nerds, movie fanatic yes, nerd no. Pegged you to grow up and become a girly girl the way you played with dolls"
You chuckle, "Surprise, you have aged well"
"Haha, cute, but thankyou--man, how old are you now?"
"I'll give you a hint, you're one year shy of being two decades older than me"
His brows furrow together in both confusion of the math word problem, or equation, or whatever you just said and astonishment that you said it. "Okay, well the last time I saw you you were struggling to learn basic multiplication, okay, that last time I saw you, I was...."
You smirk, "Math still isn't even my strong suit," you say giving the hint and waiting, watching him try to figure it out
"Hi, I'm Deputy Poppernak with three Ps," a very large man, well compared to you that wasn't saying much, but, he was quite tall, comes over and offers you a handshake and a smile
"Hi," you smile back, thinking he seems so sweet and you accept the handshake, "Deputy Popp--I already know I'm going to butcher this, I apologize in advance, Poppernik?"
"Poppernak, with an a instead of an e, but for a first try that's not too bad. Jenny and the Sheriff call me Popps if that's any better, my first name is Mo"
"I'm sorry," you genuinely apologize, "Deputy Poppernak, nice to meet you. Mo is a nice name too, but, I'll politely decline on that one, I have a history of certain feelings for a certain orange Doodlebop when I was kid and it would just make the whole vibe weird and that's not a good way to start fresh with someone---damn it, I'm already doing the over sharing thing---I'm sorry"
"Oh my God, there's two of them," someone says somewhere and everyone starts giggling, you're confused but Poppernak tells you not to worry about it and he's still smiling and doesn't seem bothered by your rambling. "It's okay, and yours?" He asks
"My what?" You ask stupidly.
"Your name," he and Marie remind you. "Oh! Oh, Y/N and you can call me whatever you want as long as it's not late for supper," you laugh
"Nice to meet you, donut?" He practically snatches the bag from Marie and his coworker to offer you some. "Thanks, don't mind if I do," you reach in and grab one mini powdered donut
"Figure it out yet?" You look back to Beau. "24! You're 24!!" Beau exclaims proudly and incorrectly. "I'm 29," you laugh.
"Oh no no no, there is no way, really?" He uses his fingers to do the math again, "Holy cow....wait, and you like baked goods now? Everyone, this woman was a weird kid, hated sugar," he announces to everyone and then looks back to you, smiling.
"So, see you've met Popps, I think you two will get along--what are you doing here in Montana though? You're a long way from home....."
"I'm staying with Marie now.....I just wanted a fresh start...."
"You're going to be living here, that's great! We can totally do movie nights and catch up!!" He hugs you and you hug his back. "Fresh start? What do you mean? What have you been up to huh?" He asks with his eyes folding at the sides as they do when he smiles so brightly
"I'd love to do movie nights. Yeah, fresh start, clean slate, just get away.....you know how I used to love The Country Bears?" He raises a brow with a look of knowing better, "used to? Sweetheart, someone doesn't outgrow a love like that. I had nightmares of that movie," he blinks, his smile was still there but now it was softer, he was listening to you.
"There's a town down the road....where I ain't been before....."
"Please don't do the whole song," he holds his forehead and you spare him. He takes your hand, "So, a fresh star---," he looks down at your hand and his brows once again knit together, this time in concern. "What happ---oh....," the smile finally falls as he notices the indent of your ring on your finger but no ring. "I'm sorry.....how long has it been?" "A few weeks since it was finalized....." "Jeez-I still can't believe you're even old enough to have been married," he kisses your hand and lets it go
"Well, what about you? I see your posts on Facebook, your daughter is beautiful, she's your whole world," you smile and he blushes a bright pink and lowers his eyes. "Yeah, yeah she is. Well, I left Houston, I've been here for the past three years or so. Emily just started college. Man, it is so good to see you," his smile was back, "I worried....I really worried about you....."
"......Yeah.......it's good to see you too BeauBeau.....," he messes your hair. "Oh come on~," you groan and laugh, then you lock eyes. "Seriously......please tell me you were okay?"
".......I'm here," you chuckle, not really want to talk about it or much less think about it and give the most nonchalant convincing smile you can muster, he just looks at you, with that damn knowing better face, for a little too long if anyone asked you
"........Yeah....yeah you are.....and you know that the entire time, all you ever had to do was call me, right? I'd make a way to get you out to Houston with me and......Y/N....I'm so damn sorry....but hey listen, you're here now....I'm here.....," he looks in your eyes the entire time he's speaking until he pulls your head in during a hug toward the end, resting your head against his chest. Honestly, it was so warm and welcoming that you don't fight it at all, you just accept it and let your head rest there for a moment before you lift it to look back up at him and still he's studying your face
"Thanks.....may I have some coffee? Black please..."
"Since you're a big girl now, I think you're old enough, sure," he smiles and boops your nose, "and you look like you haven't been sleeping.....," he points out, lifting your chin with his fingers to see the physical signs around your eyes. "....three weeks....was it rough?" You simply shrug. Truth be told, the divorce was calm, that wasn't why you hadn't been sleeping well
Sensing you weren't going to open up he simply nods shortly and walks over to the table where the coffee is. "Don't worry, I use my personal mug. I can feel that look over my shoulder.....," he says, feeling you scrunch up your nose when you don't see him smell the mug first. If it was his personal mug then you could be assured it wouldn't taste and smell like soap. You giggle softly and look back over to Marie, she was still sitting on the lady officer's desk and was watching you along with her and Popps, and basically everyone else. You are certain you give them a look of question, "what?"
"What was that?"
"Nothing? He was my dad's partner for a few months when I was little, I lived with him for a bit...."
"Can we come to movie night then?" Popps asks
"Fine by me," Beau smiles over his shoulder and then comes back and hands you the coffee. "Why are you guys looking at us like that?"
"We're just curious why she would have to live with you?" Popps admits, Beau sighs and looks at you in question of if it's okay. "I can't answer them, y'all never told me," you laugh
"I had to protect her, I was doing her dad a favor....that good enough?" He asks them and they all collectively shrug
"Well, Marie and I should get going. I need to move in," you push yourself off of the desk you had started leaning on and hand Beau his mug and tiptoe to kiss his cheek. He meets you half way to kiss yours and hug you and you wave goodbye to everyone, leaving with Marie.
"I saw that~," You hear Beau say to someone and laugh as you reach the door, "you should get her that sandwich"
"Told you the Sheriff was cute~," Marie nudges you and throws her head back as you're getting into her Jeep. "Yeah, he is, I admit it. Never expected to see ol' BeauBeau again," you smile warmly and watch the scenery pass in the windows as you hum to the Josh Turner song, it's seconds before the two of you are singing
She glances at you and stops singing. "He read you....what was he talking about? You said the divorce went smoothly....have you not been sleeping?" "I've been sleeping....," you say shortly and keep singing again
"No, seriously, he's right about your eyes, I mean you did wake up abruptly from the naps on the way here...."
"Just dreams, it'll pass. You know, I've never been here but I feel I don't know...like I'm finally back home"
"Because of Sheriff Arlen?" She smirks and you shake your head, "Yes.....why don't you ask him out?"
"Me? Oh n-no no" "Oh come on, Marie, you should," you suggest and then keep singing
-----------------Three Weeks Later---------------
"Beau, we just got a call....," Beau looks up to the door of his office where Popps was speaking to him. He tosses the football a small way into the air, it had been slow and quiet around here for months since Jenny moved Colorado to help Danielle and Justin with their new baby. He was taking the time to think about what the movie should be this week. "What's up--what?" His tone immediately changed when he saw his deputy and close friend's face
"It's YN, I think something is wrong"
"What do you mean you think?" Beau tilts his head and blinks as he sits up from his laid back position
"I have been calling her all morning, she said she was taking her new horse out to Cassie's ranch and well, no answer. Marie hasn't seen her either, she hasn't seen her since last night and she's worried too. She's so excited about getting the horse, don't you think a pony would be more fitting for her?--"
"Ey, Popps, focus. Okay, when was the last time Marie saw her?"
"Right, sorry. She said the last time she saw her was before she went to bed last night"
"Okay, did she say anything? Was she acting weird?" Beau asks, trying not to start worrying himself
"No, Marie just said she went into her room and never came out of it this morning and wasn't in it. She assumed that she just left early to go get Mirabel"
"Okay uh uh uh....let's not freak out yet, maybe she picked up the horse and she got distracted, I'll go check the ranch," he stands and heads out, arriving at Cassie's ranch
"Nice day ain't it? Are you as bored as I have been?" He asks greeting Cassie as she's brushing a horse. "Something like that," she chuckles, "what brings you by?" She asks and Cormack walks over to them. "Morning Cormack," Beau nods and smiles, Cormack does the same as Walter walks over and does the same then Beau returns the gesture to him as well
"Have y'all seen YN? She was supposed to bring her new horse Mirabel here?"
"Yeah, yeah, she told us. No, we haven't seen either of them," Cormack answers
"Yeah, I was getting Mirabel's stall prepped," Walter adds, "she was supposed to be here at 10"
"Right.....thanks.....any idea where she was getting the horse?"
"Yeah," Cormack gives him the name of the farm where you were purchasing the horse
"Thanks," Beau nods to him again when Cassie interrupts. "Maybe she's just running late, she said Mirabel is in no condition to be ridden just now so they may be just taking a leisurely walk here?"
"Maybe, but, if that were the case I would have seen her on the way here, right? I'm trying to be cool but, Popps hasn't been able to get her on the phone and Marie hasn't seen her since last night"
"Right, yeah, stay calm for now. Don't start panicking just yet....," Cassie nods in agreement with him. "Cass, you know as well as I do, as we all do, in this town with what we have seen, that's easier said than done and I think my paranoia is justified," he says and they all meet each others eyes, sharing a knowing look that he's right
"Yeah, we get it....maybe she stopped for breakfast at the Blue Fox? Got to talking with Donno about Gandalf and Mirabel?" Cormack asks and Beau nods, still trying to remain positive
"Listen, I could come with you," Cormack offers and steps forward. "I can too," Walter steps up beside his brother.
"Yeah, yeah sure, okay," Beau agrees. "Cool, let me put Lucas away really quick," Cormack says, walking the horse that had been standing beside him into one of the stable stalls. "Lucas? You named a horse Lucas?" Beau asks, raising a brow
"Yeah, Lucas....Lucas McCain," Cormack says looking at them in confusion because they weren't picking up the reference. "Y'know like The Rifleman"
"Ah~ The Rifleman, I think I just lost points as a Texan," Beau laughs, "that's an awesome name," he pets the horses nose. "So, are all the horses in town going to be TV and movie characters?" He chuckles as the three walk to his truck and get inside. He and Walter get in first, Walter takes the backseat and his brother takes shotgun after taking a moment to kiss Cassie goodbye. "I hope she's alright, keep me posted," she tells Beau and he nods before they leave and go to the Blue Fox diner
"You three are a strange party," Tonya glances up from her laptop at then and tilts her head
"Yeah, we're looking for YN. She was supposed to pick up her new horse this morning and take her out to Cassie's ranch, Marie and Popps can't get ahold of her and she hasn't been seen since last night. We thought you might have seen her," Beau explains
"We thought maybe she stopped by for breakfast early and got to talking with Donno about horses," Cormack adds. "No. My horse is named Gandalf, because he's white." Donno says, glancing at his stuffed horse, "I have a real one now too. What is YN's horse's name?"
"Mirabel." Buck answers shortly, trying to be patient, now wasn't the time for chit chat. "Mirabel, like Encanto?" Donno asks. "Yeah," Beau forces a smile his direction and nods before turning back to look at Tonya when his attention is caught by something passing by outside the window and he taps Cormack's arm. "Hey, the horse wasn't fit to ride right? Have you seen it?"
"Yeah, why?"
"What color is it?"
"She's in rough shape, but, she's gorgeous, Palomino, why?" Cormack answers turning to face Beau by looking over his shoulder
"She got sock markings on her hooves and a star on her forehead?" "Yeah why?" "Well, found Mirabel," Beau gets them all to look outside. The horse, your horse, was slowly walking past. There was no need in rushing, like Cormack said, she was in rough shape. Her ribs were out and she was moving at the speed of molasses as if she was walking through heavy tar. Beau bolts out to her followed by the other two anyway, not for fear of her getting away but fear of her keeling over on the side of the road.
"Hey, hey girl ....woe~, easy, stop stop walking sweetheart," Beau tells her, gently grabbing her reigns and petting her nose, willing her to stop walking. "Good girl~, good girl," he taps her cheek and rubs his thumb over it as he looks over at Cormack and Walter. "She's really pretty ....sad," Walter gives a sweet smile. "Yeah, they were going to put her down. YN insisted on having her so she got a good deal.....so, clearly, Mirabel isn't at the farm, or Cass's ranch, so, we know YN did pick her up, so, where is YN?" Cormack looks at Beau, then his brother and again they all share a look
Beau sighs, "Uh....okay, let's get this sweet girl to Cassie, then we will get right back on looking for YN. Help me load her up"
"You want to put a horse on the back of your truck? That thing?" Cormack looks at him like he's insane. "Options are limited right now. I'll move stuff and make space and she can lay down. One of you can ride in the back with her and the other can watch the road incase we see YN....," Beau says, he had already started making space clear in the back of his truck. It wasn't overly full so he just shoved things into the corner and then he helps lift and load her onto the back and they decide Cormack will be the one to ride with her, they lay her down and he sits so she can rest her head on his lap. "Guess I'll be driving slow," Beau sighs as he and Walter load in up front.
Seeing as he had to drive slow for the comfort of the horse and the truck, if they didn't talk, things would be very awkward
"So....how do you know YN?" Cormack asks
"I worked with her dad briefly back in my younger days, sometimes I had to look out for her....," Beau answers, tapping his thumb on the steering wheel and keeping very close watch on the road for you. Walter watches him closely as well as the road for you, mentally noting his thumb.
"Why?" "Why?" "Why did you "look out for her"?" "I just had to protect a kid is all ..."
"What from?" Walter squints, given his life, he can sense something. "It was a favor for her dad....there were times when he couldn't keep her and he didn't want her staying with her mom, so, we would tell her she was coming with me out to Texas for a vacation and she'd live with me for a couple of months until he could go back home"
"Why couldn't he go home? Work? Why didn't he want her with her mother?"
"So...you were alienating her from her mother like our parents did?" Cormack bounces a question off of his brother's question from the back of the truck, the edge of his voice was evident. "No." Beau barks back shortly, "I was protecting her."
Walter studies both of them, he studies Beau's uncharacteristic reaction, the sudden anger, him white knuckling his grip on the wheel. He understood both of them some how. "He was protecting her from her mother," he tells his brother gently.
"Yeah, sounds familiar...."
"Cormack....every situation isn't like yours, okay! I should have never left her there alone!!"
"What?" Cormack asks softly, now lost.
"What did her mom do?" Walter then interrupts asking Beau softly. "To be honest....I don't know....," Beau admits honestly, shrugging slightly, "I haven't seen her....I'm getting really worried.....have you seen her?" "No, I'm looking," Walter assures him, being sure to remain speaking calmly because the energy was fragile
"You don't even know," Cormack scoffs. "Listen, you'll understand in a few weeks! When a father begs someone to take his kid far away and trusts them to get the kid out of danger, you trust him, okay?! She was a kid, a little kid, 4, 6, 9 years old and he was begging me to take her as far away as I could and she was scared!!!"
With that, Cormack drops it, if he saw anyone, especially a child in danger he would want to help and maybe Beau was right, he would understand soon on the deeper level, he sort of already did. Beau was right, he felt that about Kai already
The rest of the ride was quiet, there was no sign of you on the road. They get Mirabel to Cassie and then form a plan. Ultimately deciding that Walter would go along with Beau since he had experience in such matters from different perspectives and they couldn't risk Cormack getting hurt with his kid due so soon.
"Okay, YN knows no one here outside of y'know all of us, she definitely doesn't have any enemies here .....I can't think of anyone who would want her for anything----," Beau brainstorms as they drive over to Dewell & Hoyt. "Remain calm. We will find her. She is divorced, right?" "Yeah, yeah but they're actually still really cool, there's love there like with Carla and me...."
"Then her mom has her." "Her mom? She says she hasn't spoken to her or anything in over a year"
"Then in that case, her mother has her." Walter repeats as he and Beau walk into the office, Beau gives him a look and meets his eyes and steps in with him
"Someone has YN...."
"YN is with her mother, we need to find her," Walter says to Denise calmly and gives his trademark smile.
"Yeah, yeah." Denise nods and doesn't bother with the niceties of hello or witty banter and immediately goes to her desk. "Name?"
Author's Note: I'm sorry if this is bad, I'm not into sports but I found something that inspired me. This takes place in 1988 and modern day after Billy's "death"
Summary: You knew Billy and Lenny when you guys were growing up, you guys were extremely close. In fact during middle school and high school you were crushing on Lenny pretty damn hard, it seemed like everyone knew, but Lenny. Billy knew, their mom knew. Lenny didn't seem to notice. Much like there were things you weren't noticing yourself.
Warnings: Might be smut (writing from the top of my head so idk), 18+ Minors Do Not Interact, mentions of death, mentions of abuse possibly, unrequited love, age differences of about 3 years, heart break, other???
Billy sat, once again, alone, in the silence of his dark cavernous home. The silence enveloping him, as he now had no one. He had fucked things up with Hughie. Fucked them up so royally that Hughie had to shoot him, and when Hughie had called for help and his life was saved, Hughie still buried him. He was dead to Hughie, and Annie, and Mother's Milk, Kimiko, and Ryan, to everyone. He no longer even had Terror either. Now, for a year, he had truly been utterly alone, he had no one.
Days blended together, he never knew anymore, but, he was thankful that the sound of squeaking sneakers could fill the silence just about any given night of the week. These days, he tuned in every night, although he had been watching almost religiously whenever he could for thirty odd years or so now.
As he would any other night he grabbed a bottle of beer from his fridge and sat in the dark room in front of the tele and listened to the sneakers. The only light in the room or in his life for months now being that screen.
He must have tuned in while they were cutting to a break. He watched his reason for watching sit at an interview and he let his fingers feel at the chain on his neck. He glances down to it and smiles, the fucking thing felt like a metaphor. Ofcourse in his life Billy had loved Becca, everyone knew it, and that ring on his finger never came off, and, his love for her would never change......but, no one ever asked about the chain, never gave it a second glance, and that in itself was another poetic tragedy. He had cherished that ring and the one who bestowed it on his finger and would for eternity as it symbolized, but, he had had that chain around his neck much longer, both literally and metaphorically speaking.
He glances back up to the screen at the person who bestowed it to him almost forty years ago. That girl wasn't a girl anymore and she still had no idea he was still watching. With that he sighed as he leaned back and got comfortable to watch the interview and tonight's game, wondering if she would retire soon
The interviewer is off screen, only she (you) can be seen at the table and answering questions. You hadn't done many interviews in all these years. Billy lets his mind wander off as he stared at her on the screen, not blinking to really take her in, to take in how much time had passed. Now, you had a few grey hairs, as he did, but, you still retained a youthful glow about you, you could pass for for forty five. He was glad to see any lines on your face had come from smiling.....the last time he had spoken to you, you were crying and you both pretended that it was just the rain of the London street at night; one would think it was because Billy had hurt her, but, that time, Lenny was the one to had done the hurting and the young lady was crying before Billy had even arrived bearing bad news that evening
His mind went back to 1984, when he first met her, that was when the bubbly sixth grader stepped out of her father's Vista Cruiser, they were moving in next door to the Butcher family. She was his little brother's age and about three years younger than him. Stepping out of the vehicle she had a box tucked under her arm and his brother insisted they go and meet her and so they did. They met their best friend that day.
Then Billy thought of the next couple of years after that. The nights their mother insisted on having the American girl over for supper and Sunday roasts, he remembers how quickly she acclimated. He thought of the time the three of them spent together before he left for the Marines.
----1988----
"Dear, you really should put down the basketball.....don't take this the wrong way love, but, you---the game wasn't made for you.....I mean honestly, I am worried you're going to do some serious damage if you continue and the bloody ball keeps landing on your head. Lie down, lie down," Billy watched his mother guide you, his neighbor and friend, over to their living room sofa and lay you down with a sip of water to wash down the aspirin for your headache
"Thankyou---"
"I mean really William, tell her," his mother looks to him. This was a regular occurrence, it happened a minimum of once a week and had been happening for years now.
"I've tried, she doesn't listen," Billy chuckles, "she says she wants to keep practicing and maybe by sophomore year she can be good enough to be on the team at school and then she wants to join a college team, and then make a career of it, her ten year plan is to make enough so she can buy a big fancy bloody mansion for her and Lenny to live in happily eva' afta' and shite," he tried to sound cool and unbothered as he made the targeted joke
"William, don't make fun of her and watch your language, please. The girl has dreams and she's really smitten with our Lenny. I find it lovely, ofcourse, I don't know how Lenny hasn't seen it yet, why, I noticed last year," his mother chuckles as she strokes the girls hair and sits beside her. YN was dosing off quickly as she quite often did
Billy's mother glances up at him, "Maybe you could help your little brother notice? And try harder to make her stop playing bloody basketball, I really am truly worried how the ball always lands on her head"
Billy simply gives a half nod to this and looks at you. Truth be told, he didn't know how his brother didn't notice either, he also didn't understand how you hadn't noticed that the way you saw Lenny was the way he saw you, especially this past seven months or so
"William, did you hear me?" "Yes ma'm'.....believe me, on top of looking after Lenny and you from dad, trying to get her and Lenny all loved up and her to stop playing have been the very next thing on my to do list, my top priorities," he says half sarcastically. His tone wasn't serious, but, he meant every word. He worried about you and shared his mother's fear
"Really William, must you be so snarky? Well.....I need to go to the market, look after her, yeah?" His mother kisses his head and YN's as she leaves
For a while, Billy just watched you sleep there. Until the door opened and Lenny stepped in, their father just behind him.
"Oi, Lenny, 'ow was chess club?" Billy asks and smiles at his brother over his shoulder
"I don't want to do it any longer.....," Lenny replies, keeping his eyes down
Billy's brows knitted together, he knew better. "You don't want to do it an'more? You've been having fun the past few weeks, 'aven' ya?"
"No," his brother says shortly, codly, quickly, "it 'tis silly"
"Yeah, young men should be playing real bloody sports--neighbor girl is here again eh?" Their dad glances over his shoulder at you. "Hit on the cranium again eh? She really should stop, she has been practicing for bloody years and she is bloody terrible," he laughs
Billy glares and tightens his hand into a fist on the table, he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, willing himself to remain calm.
"Lenny....did you enjoy it alrigh'? Look at me.....," his brother looked at him, but, didn't dare to speak.
"If you like it alrigh', you keep going at it....," Billy drops that subject, "an' she ain't terrible," he corrects his father, even though everyone knew that you absolutely were. Even though he agreed with his mother and wanted you to stop so you wouldn't get hurt he would still defend you and support you against his dad
Lenny walks over and sits beside you, sitting on the edge of the sofa. "YN.....are you alright? Did you hit your head again?" He asks you, stroking your hair as you were asleep
"She's tough lil' bruv', she'll be alrigh', don't you fret none......"
"I don' understand why she insists on continuing," Lenny replies to him
Billy shrugs, he didn't know how to respond in words. He knew the feelings he had for you were wrong, he knew you were head over hills in love with his brother, he wanted you happy and knew he would have to support the feelings
"I do worry she will do serious damage..."
"......I uhm.....Lenny, I need to tell you somethin'...."
"Yes?"
"I've registered for the military.....I'll be leaving in a few days....," even though his father was standing right there with them, he only acknowledged Lenny
"What? No, you can't....you can't! Billy, you can't!"
Billy comes over and grabs Lenny's shoulders, pulling him in for a hug, burying his face in his chest, "I'm sorry..... you're tough.... you're going to have to be tough.....," he says softly, next to his brother's ear
"But....but...."
"You didn't discuss that decision with me," he hears his father behind his back
"No shite Sherlock," Billy retorts, rolling his eyes
"Don't you think you should have? You're only 17"
"Eighteen as of yesterday," Billy corrects him
"What about school?" His father retorts
"Graduated three months ago, you would have known had you been there. Mum came, bless her, could barely see through 'er black fuckin' eye, swollen shut!" Billy felt the rage rising, felt his blood boiling, his neck growing hot and his veins bulging and the he felt Lenny grip his coat's lapel, so he calmed down
A few days later Billy was going to tell YN the news that he was leaving that night. He was also going to talk to her about her feelings for his brother, let the girl down easy
As he walked through the rain on his way home he unexpectedly sees you sitting out in it with no coat or umbrella or anything, his brother was walking away from you and presumably heading home as well. You stayed though and as he left you stood there frozen in time for a moment and then just sat, right in the rain. He couldn't hear from the distance but it did look like Lenny offered to walk home with you
Billy stayed there watching, long enough for his brother to be out of sight, and then a bit longer, thinking about what he should do. Finally he decided, he couldn't just leave you there like that; with a frustrated and heart broken huff he glances at the rose in his hand. The rose he had brought you, he was going to tell you pluck the petals and do the stupid 'He loves me, he loves me not" with the petals for his brother or to keep it until it dies and to let your feelings for Lenny die with it, but, he tossed it down into the road instead and began walking over to you
"Why are you sittin' out in the rain?"
"Hey Butch......"
"Get up," he grabs your wrist to start assisting you
"I don't want to go home right now Butch...."
"Alrigh', then we won't go home, I'll figure somethin' out but we ain't stayin' out here," he pulls you against your will and you follow, he walks in front of you until you're in a dimly lit diner
"You're tracking mud in," the owner, a little old woman whines
"Sorry ma'm', we were caught in it on our way home....," Billy apologizes
"Well....sit, I'll get you some hot coffee to warm up...."
"Thankyou ma'm'," Billy nods and guides you to a booth, the two of you sit in silence until she brings the coffee out
"Wat' 'appened?" Billy asks
"......I.....I-I.....told Lenny......how I feel about him....."
"I'm right chuffed," Billy forces his best most convincing sweet smile possible, "how'd it go?"
"Butch.....stop......y'know how it went.......like everything else....."
"Wat' do you mean?"
"......Back home.....before we moved here.....I didn't have any friends.....I was odd ball out, pun intended.....I know....I know I suck at basketball, it's like the game just naturally rejected me....but I love it....so despite how many times the ball lands on my head, despite how many times I miss, despite how much everyone thinks I'm a damn fool, I keep going....if I shoot 100 times that day and I only make 3-4 of the shots, that's three or four more I wouldn't have made if I never took that leap to begin with.....today I thought, I should take the shot and tell Lenny how I feel about him......I missed the shot.....and it's not like I can get another try.....I---why am I just....not good enough?"
"You're right.....forget what I said about quitin' basketball.....keep playin', someday you migh' 'ave that mansion you wan' and you can show my lil' bruv' wat' 'e turned down---just please try to dodge the ball a bit more often?"
"Shut up," you kick his shin under the table and actually laugh and then the moment of joy fades and you glance down at the coffee as you drink some. "No...I should just call it quits, what's the point----what, am I going to some day miraculously end up on the WNBA? Even if I did, no one will watch me....."
Under the table Billy's leg was tapping a mile a minute, partially because he was soaked to the bone like you were, partially to try and keep his cool. "I will, 'ou 'ave my word"
"Thanks.....I don't want to talk about this anymore right now......"
"Alrigh' that's fine," Billy nods his head and crosses his arms on the table, "I actually was 'eaded over to 'yer place to tell ya something...."
"Oh? What's up?"
To forget about my little brother before your heart is broken, he thought. "......I'm going to the military and I'm leaving tonight actually"
"Tonight....why did you wait until now to tell me?"
He shrugs, "didn' think you'd care"
"Billy Butcher, that couldn't be further from true," you say as you walk over to his side and he looks up at you in confusion, you take off your chain and place it around his neck and hug him. "I'm going to miss you like crazy, promise me you will be careful and stay safe though?" You ask him as you slowly lift your head off of his shoulder
"Yeah.....promise....," he says softly, nodding and watching you. You give him a warm sweet smile and he grabs a napkin, "wipe the rain off of 'er face love..."
When you finished your coffees you asked if you could go with him when he left, but he shook his head no and said you needed to dry off and warm up when you got home
-------------
That was the last time he saw you in person, until his own funeral last year. It was very cliche, just as he had done that evening in '88 he watched from a distance as you stood over his stone. He watched you take something off of your hand and place it on the top of the stone and kiss the stone as his brows furrowed together in confusion. This was after Hughie and the gang had left ofcourse. He knew you had won a championship back in '99 and again in '05 and '06 and again recently, he only thought of that when he saw something glistening off of the stone in the sun once you left. When the coast was clear he came over and on the top of the stone a piece of paper folded and flapping under the first championship ring acting as a paper weight. It read, 'I still miss you Butch. I hope you were really watching. Every game I remind myself that I have someone watching. This one is yours, I couldn't have done it without you. I've kept in touch with your mom, I am so glad that you found Becca, it would be a shame if no one experienced the love Billy Butcher could give, she's a very lucky woman. Love you Butch, still your best friend YN, even if you forgot me haha- Twiggy'
Billy smiled glancing at the ring that he slid onto his finger but frowned at the old nickname, he hates that you even kept it when you got drafted to the WMBA in '97. The name was always meant as a double edged back handed way of insulting you in an endearing way, although he was sure you knew that. Twiggy, because you were like a little well twig, like a small stick, no shape, tiny, no one thought anything of you, you were the opposite of attractive no matter what the person's personal preference may have been and the opposite of athletic, especially when one thought of what a basketball player should look like. He had always hated it since he got the phone call from his mum telling him the news that you had actually made it and he tuned in to watch your first game. He wondered why you chose to still use it even knowing what it actually was.
Now, a year later, Billy looked at his hand as he snapped back into reality. He was again alone in the room growing darker, the only light being the light from the game on the screen where he looks at the score and sees even at your age you're annihilating, the bit of moonlight ricocheting off of his glass bottle, and the twinkle of the championship ring he wore with his wedding band.
He wipes a hand over his face and sits the bottle down on the table beside him before pushing himself up and grabbing his coat and leaving.
He wasn't even thinking just moving on autopilot as he hailed a cab and slid into the backseat and instructed the driver to go the stadium because you were playing in the city tonight
"Wow man, can't believe you actually got tickets to this one! That's awesome! You know you missed half of the game already, right?"
"I never miss a game....," Billy says simply and glances at his leg vibrating again like it had that evening in '88 at the diner
"Well, better late than never, right?"
"I'm never late for a game ..."
"You must really loves women's basketball then? Here we are"
"No, not really," with that Billy gets out and suddenly remembers his ticket he had bought when he learned the game would be here and he goes inside
You didn't see him watching, his seats weren't that great. After the game you are leaving and he follows you to the hotel without your knowledge
"Twiggy," you suddenly heard behind you when you're about to unlock your hotel room door
Yes, that was a nickname you were known by and it was no secret, but, hardly anyone ever called you that in day to day life in public. You blink as you're reaching for your key card in confusion and look around, "Hello?"
"Oi....YN....."
Your eyes stretch widen, there was absolutely no way in hell that was the voice you thought it was, you told yourself. "Butch?" You swallow a hard lump in your throat and turn to see him standing behind you, about twelve feet away. He wasn't an eighteen year old anymore, but, you'd recognize him and those eyebrows anyday
"C-Come in.....," you stepped into your room, feeling like you were inviting a ghost in. As far as you knew you were inviting a ghost in. Maybe this was it, maybe all those hits on the head when you were younger were catching up to you or maybe you had just finally snapped from all of the thoughts you'd been having over the years about him. Honestly, you didn't care about any of it. Even if this wasn't real, you were going to take it. Maybe this was a sign you were on your way out, but, after all of the lonely years it would be a nice way to go
You stepped into your room and carefully placed your bag and things down and then he stepped in behind you and closes the door. No words are spoken just yet. You go to the bed, sitting at the foot of it and taking your sneakers off and watch as he takes the ring you had left on his tombstone last year off and places it on top of your bag. "That's yours..... thought I should return it.....I 'ave watched every game......I though' you tol' me the last we saw each ova' that you wouldn' call yer'self Twiggy anymore...."
You shrug, "..... It's accurate and it's catchy.......thankyou for watching me," you smile at him, feeling warmth fill your insides and another feeling which you despised whole heartedly at this point in your life, butterflies. You had tried dating again after Lenny, at least a good million times, every time it ended the same, heart break before anything even started, shooting your shot and missing every time. Sure, there were some who went out with you, but, before it ever had a happy ending of a date they left. Twiggy.... You had stopped trying about five years ago with the fleeting stupid dream that you'd ever succeed in those endeavors. If Billy had been following you all these years you were sure he had seen some paparazzi photos of some even though you never went public with anyone, never had the chance, they never stuck around long enough. That was the double edge of what earned you that name, sure, it was insulting but it was also cute sounding, somewhat adorable in its own right, and along with all those negative things, you were also funny and people didn't mind having you around, you could be a ball to be around. Pun not intended. Sometimes even sticks were fun to play with.....
"I told ya I didn' like it......," Billy says simply, leaning on the wall by the door with his hands shoved in his coat pockets
"I ain't it's biggest fan either," you laugh softly, "did you come back from the dead to scold me for using the nickname I've always had?"
"Partially," Billy finds himself smiling as he raises his arms to cross them over his chest
"Well then---I'm just glad to see you again," you say honestly, "you grew into your eyebrows, you always were handsome though. You Butcher boys both were"
"I never though' that name fit you....aren' ya going 'ter ask me how I'm back from the dead or something?"
You shake your head, "No. Either, you were never dead in the first place, I'm dying and you're like Peter Pan, or I've lost my mind. If you were never dead, I'm glad. If I'm dying and you're my guide then I'm in good company and it's a better way to go out than I deserve, and if I've lost my mind I don't really want to know," you laugh again as you slide your sweaty jersey off over your head and then stand to start flinging off the rest of your clothes and walking to the bathroom to shower
As the water starts, Billy says nothing, with your back turned you don't realize he is stunned from seeing you strip
"So.......I saw that you went on some dates a while ago.....what came of that?" He finally speaks
"Nothing. Just an old single Pringle," you laugh, "are you seeing anyone after Becca?"
"I shagged someone once when I was drunk but no....."
"Congrats," you laugh, "I think congrats are in order, I've heard shagging is nice"
"You've heard---you've never shagged before?" His tone sounds shocked
"Trust me, not for lack of trying--why do you sound so heart broken?" You ask laughing as you're washing your hair. There's no response, "Billy? Butch? Hey, Butch, you still there?" The sudden silence honestly makes your heart sink. Of course it was too good to last, you sigh as you finished rinsing your hair out and turn the water off
"Why?" You're startled when he's still out in your room
"I thought you left....no one ever wanted to," you shrug as you start drying off your body with the towel and then your hair and don't bother caring if he's watching you or not, even if he were you knew it wouldn't matter. But he was, and it did matter. You start grabbing a little silky satin spaghetti strapped night gown from your bag and the novel you're currently reading and after slipping the gown on you flop into bed as you always do to relax
"That is shite"
"What? No seriously," you laugh, "I just did all of that in front of you and nothing is happening, that's how it goes," you say as you open your book and start reading
"What happened to all 'at about shooting 100 shots and only making 3? Abou' the only shots you miss are ones you don't take?"
You feel your brows knit as syou blink at him, was he getting upset? You didn't understand. "I guess I was wrong Billy, what's the matter?" You crawl over to him on your knees, not on all fours, just your knees. He's standing up now, you just want to check on him. "Hey, you still have it," you smile, feeling the chain on his neck. "Are you okay? Is something wrong? Is that why you came tonight? Billy, if you need anything, I've got you," you look up into his eyes worriedly.
He swallows a hard lump in his throat and grabs your wrist in his big hands. "Butch?" You ask as you look at your hands confused
"It woul' be a shame if no one experienced the love Y/N could give....," he says almost hoarsely.
"Wha---," you're cut short when he breaks the eye contact and slams his lips to yours, his free large calloused hand that isn't holding your wrist moves down your side slowly to your waist and pulls you flush against him. You kiss him back as if you need to to breathe until you're placing your hand onto his chest. He slowly breaks the kiss and looks at you
"Billy....are you sure you want me?" You look down, "I mean, you aren't just doing this because you're close to me and you miss her? Or because you just want to make me feel better because of---," again, he doesn't let you finish, his thumb stroked your bottom lip before he pulled you back in for an even deeper kiss than before and he reaches for your book and hurls it across the room before leaning over you so you lay on the bed. His knee finds its way between your legs as he peers over you, his thumb strokes your cheek and he smiles.
"Fuck....I'm going to enjoy this love, you'll never think about any of those cunts again---"
"Butch, don't do this out of pity either, you know I like to earn---," again he slams his lips down on yours. "Get comfy love--no, no, no, it doesn't rain indoors now does it?" He asks, wiping the tears that were slipping down your cheeks
Author's Note: Your girl loved the ending and thought the writing was great, however, she can't let Billy go
Idea Credit to: @britvigilante for their Headcanon that I love and gave me the idea for this and the dumbass soulmates trope
Summary: What if in the finale Hughie called the ambulance after all and Billy lived, however, to protect Annie and Kimiko and to hide his own guilt Hughie went through with burying Billy, giving him a tombstone and the whole shabang? What could possibly bring these dumbass soul bros back together after years of Billy being "dead"? Kimiko babysitting Robin ofcourse (story takes place in 2032)
Pairing: Female Reader! × Kimiko
Warnings: age gap Kimiko is 40 and Y/N is 35, Billy and Hughie being dumbasses, language
"Hughie! It's me Kimiko!" Kimiko knocks on the door with one hand and holds your hand with the other. "You okay?" She looks at you and rubs her thumb over the back of your hand.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," you nod. "Really? Your palms are sweaty mon coeur.....," she smiles at you faintly, her brows doing that adorable thing they do when they come just a little closer together.
You nod again, "Yes, I know Hughie. I mean I love Robin, it's just telling him and Dad about us, telling Hughie who I am, telling them both everything," you chew your lip. "Why do you call me that?"
"Mon Coeur?" She smiles, tilting her head slightly and meeting your eyes. "Yes, it's beautiful, I love it, I just....I don't feel worthy of it"
She simply blinks as she smiles and then places her hand on your bump and kisses the top of your head, "You are. Thanks again," she glances down between the two of you.
"You don't have to thank me, you're my wife, I love you and I want this to," you smile and blush. "Dad suggested Francine, I really like it"
"Perfect," Kimiko smiles ear to ear and a tear slips down her cheek. "Hey, you okay?" You lift her chin to wipe the tear and peck her lips. "If it's too much, we don't have to"
She nods as the door opens. "Hi, sorry," Hughie smiles at you both.
"You look like shit," Kimiko tells him.
"Yeah, well, Robin lost her first tooth, it's been a rough day--Ms Davenport?" He looks at you confused. "Don't take this the wrong way, but uh, what fuck is my kids teacher doing here with you?"
"Hughie, we need to talk," Kimiko helps herself in and holds your hand, bringing you along as she pushes past Hughie
"Come in?"
"Thankyou," you thank Hughie and you all stand awkwardly in the entrance for a moment
"I haven't seen you in a while, congratulations," he gestures to your small baby bump.
"Thankyou," you smile. "Kimiko and I have some things to tell you"
"Hughie, sit," Kimiko bosses him but he rolls his eyes and listens. He sits on the couch and looks up at you both, "okay, what's up?"
"To start, Hughie, Ms Davenport is actually Mrs Miyashiro and has been for almost a year now," Kimiko happily announces
"Oh oh okay wow uhm Congratulations, so this baby, is--," he points at the two of you and Kimiko nods. "We had help, her friend who's a Professor at Godolkin University, he's really awesome," she explains
"Seriously, congrats, why are you just telling me now?"
"Well.....you know that I'm Robin's teacher and I adore her?" You start
"Yeah, yeah, she loves you too," he blinks in confusion.
"And you know she has a best friend from school---" "Wait, sorry, wait wait, go back, Kimiko how did you end up with Robin's teacher?"
"Remember when I was babysitting Robin when you and Annie went to Cancun two years ago? I had to take her to school, met Y/N, one thing led to another and I haven't been so happy since-"
Hughie senses the tone changing and holds a hand up to stop her, "Good, you deserve it, especially after that asshole after him," he smiles, "and Y/N, is it okay if I call you that?"
You nod. "I'm happy for you as well, you've been a lovely teacher to my daughter since she started school, you're basically her second mom," Hughie chuckles. That brings a genuine smile to your face and you tear up.
"Are you okay?" Kimiko's eyes widen as she checks on you. "Mhm~ heartburn," you lie, "heartburn and hormones"
"Okay~," she knows you're lying.
"So, you know that Robin has a friend at school, Emmet?"
"Emmet, yeah, yeah she loves that kid," he squints at you in confusion
"Emmet is my little brother," you explain further
"Okay?" He blinks
"Hughie," Kimiko raises a brow at him knowingly, giving him an opportunity to come clean
"Kimiko?" He returns in the same tone
"Hughie," she repeats
"Kimiko," he retorts back once again, "what?"
"Hughie, I thought that we buried Butcher"
"We did, you were there"
"Hughie, cut the fucking shit. I know Billy isn't dead, he's their dad"
"Billy is your dad?" Hughie asks you in shock and you nod. "How?" "A waitress, 1996, late 1996," you chew your lip. "Yeah but Emmet is 5, right?"
"He's four and a half, yes.....Dad showed up about six years ago and he and Mom got back together, they weren't really together when I came along they just--yknow," you didn't want to think of your dad and that
"Billy Butcher's a dad, holy fuck," Hughie chuckles slowly
"Hughie you lied to us!" Kimiko interrupts
"Yeah......it was easier than the truth.....when Terror died, Billy put the virus in the sprinkler system at Vought and was going to go scorched earth.....I shot him to save you and Annie, then I called the ambulance......I was too ashamed to face him and when I did when he came out of the coma, he was pissed that I had told you all he was dead and said that I was dead to him......we haven't spoken since.....," Hughie stares at his feet and the floor. "I didn't know where he disappeared too, I thought he crawled off into some alley to really die when he left the hospital, apparently---," he open handedly points to you to finish the sentence. "Wait so he cheated on Becca?"
"I can't answer that honestly, but, I assume so....," you answer him.
"So uh....does Butcher know all of this?"
"No, well, he knows I'm married and pregnant but not to who.....we were going to tell him too-"
"You both have to get your shit together, your kids are best friends and you two have carried this on way too long," Kimiko says
"Wait woe, did you miss the part with scorched earth and him fucking killing you and Annie?"
"I heard you, I think he was just being a suicidal idiot and you were an idiot who couldn't see that was a convenient excuse to get you to help him do it because you couldn't call his bluff," Kimiko retorts and holds a finger to Hughie's lip to shut him up when he tries to speak. "Shut the fuck up. He's not dead, your children are best friends and they're going to be my kid's best friend. You two are such fucking idiots, you just don't get it do you?"
"Get what?" Hughie mumbles embarrassed
"You and Billy are soul mates! Now come on," she doesn't give him a chance to protest. "Annie! I'm taking Hughie!" "Okay, have fun, byeee~!" Annie calls from the kitchen as Kimiko pulls Hughie out by his wrist and throws him in her car. He resists but she kicks him and slams the door. "Child lock!" She sticks her middle finger up at him and smiles before coming back and helping you down the steps. She dotes.
"Are you seriously kidnapping me?"
"Yeah," Kimiko giggles and drives to your mom and dad's place.
"Sissy!!!" Your little brother notices you get out of the car when Kimiko pulls up and bolts out of the house to run to you. "Emmet to win it!!!" You happily pick him up and place him on your hip
"No, no, no." Kimiko shakes her head, smiles, and takes him from you, placing him on her hip instead.
"This is my wife," you explain. "Ooooh~ Hi, nice to meet you!!" He laughs and hugs her neck and she gives him a big squeeze as Hughie steps out and shuts the door behind him. "Hey Emmet, what's up kiddo?" He smiles at your brother. "Hi Mr Campbell, did Robin come?" "Not this time buddy"
You all walk inside.
"Y/N, be righ' ou' love," there's a clank in the kitchen and your dad walks out. "'ello luv, how's me grand?" He asks smiling and placing a hand on your tummy before noticing anyone else.
"We're good," that's when he looks at Hughie and Kimiko and the air in the room changes. They're both glaring at each other silently, he and Hughie.
"Tol' you I was fuckin' dead to you. You put me in the dirt, the fuck are you here for?" Your dad growls at Hughie then looks at Kimiko, "Kimiko? Uh....good to see you....," he slowly hugs her and she hugs him back
"Apparently your daughter is my daughter's teacher, my daughter's best friend is your son, and Kimiko is your daughter's wife," Hughie gives the most fake forced laugh, his arms crossed over his chest
You can all see Billy processing all of that information, "Kimiko.....yer me daugh'er in law?"
"Mhm~, surprise," she happily and proudly nods as if she's eating her favorite snack, a nice warm croissant and your dad actually smiles
"Your daugh'er is Emmet's friend?" He looks to Hughie, the sternness returns
"Yeah, I'm learning all of this tonight too. So looks like we are stuck with each other"
"Fuckin' 'ell....," Billy looks off, they won't even look at each other
"Make up now. You're not dead, and, even if you two fuckers don't want to admit you belong together you can't stop Robin and Emmet from being besties and Y/N and I would love if they could both be besties with Emmet's niece....," Kimiko smiles at them, pleasing with her eyes. Their looks soften on her. They look at Emmet, look at Kimiko and then look at your stomach
"Please," you join her, giving your dad your big eyes.
Both men roll their eyes, have their arms over their chest, then Billy glances back at you, then looks to Kimiko, "did she 'ell you I like Francine?" Kimiko smiles and nods, "and it's a girl too. You two seriously......after everything," she looks at them
"Do I have to stop being friends with Robin?" Emmet asks sadly
"No"/"No, absolutely not luv", the men say in unison without missing a beat then glare at each other
"I made Becca's cookies....," Billy walks to the kitchen
"Are we supposed to follow him?" You ask confused and Kimiko happily hoists your brother up and nods, skipping behind Billy
"Hughie....does this mean that you two are good?" You ask him
"It means....Kimiko might have a point....and that sense he already made the cookies without knowledge of me coming I can accept them as a peace offering that have a 70 percent chance of not being poisoned, I'm still going to watch all of you eat first before me or Kimiko eat one," he smiles and places a hand behind your shoulder to go to the kitchen
Author's Note: I have nothing against Hughie and Annie, actually like them, and Idk how much love this will get because idk how many Hughie girls there are lol. This takes place at some point after s5 ep5 and let's just pretend that Hughie and Annie are currently not together during this because I don't want him to cheat. I wanted this to be funny but then my brain said also make it dark so....Oh, there's a Easter egg reference hidden in it, iykyk
Summary: Billy Butcher is your dad who has kept you a hidden secret. Hughie Campbell is a friend of yours, he's also Billy Butcher's best friend. You don't know your dad and Hughie are friends and Hughie doesn't know you're his friend's daughter. Just when you and Hughie are in the middle of crossing the line, your dad crosses through the threshold of your apartment
Pairing: Sort of Hughie Campbell x Reader, Billy Butcher × Daughter! Reader
Warnings: language, 18+ NSFW sex Minors Do Not Interact, attention brought to issues Hughie has from s4 ep6 Dirty Business and his encounters with TekKnight: what happens is consensual but Hughie goes too far and doesn't follow directions, Hughie being aggressive so maybe a bit out of character, Girl! Dad Billy, talks of V usage, Hughie going to therapy to get help, (maybe pregnancy or grampa Billy at the end? I don't know, I'm not sure yet)
"Oh fuck~, yes Hughie!" You didn't mean to be so loud, it's just, honestly, you had known Hughie Campbell since he worked at the tech store and you had always had a crush on him. But, he was always in love, with Robin, with Annie, always until now. You had imagined what being with him would be like, this, this was not what you imagined. You had honestly coined him as a missionary guy or a simple let you ride him type of guy. You yourself weren't extremely experienced. You were shocked when Hughie made eye contact with you and demanded you have a safe word.
"So good~," you say honestly, mind blank because well it's true, he was dicking you all the way down.
"Y/N, I said, be quiet," he says sternly and smacks your ass which only made you moan. "I said be quiet," he practically growls as he warns you in your ear. The next moment you're pinned, cheek pressed to the mattress before you have time to process, one of his hands slips around your throat and squeezes a bit too tight. It becomes difficult to breathe.
"Hugh-," you gasp and try to say your safe word, "Hugh----," it's almost impossible and he is pounding, actually a bit too hard, he's hurting you. He covers a hand over your mouth, "Shut up."
You didn't understand what was happening or why he was like this. Every second that passed felt closer to succumbing to his grip on your throat so you bite his hand. "Cake-," you manage to gasp out, barely loud enough to hear.
"Cake," you manage again quickly but assume he didn't hear you because he covers your mouth again and continues.
"Y/N.....are you 'ome love? I brough' a heart cake, vanilla icin' like you like.....Y/N?" You hear the door shut and had never been so glad to hear your dad's voice. You tap Hughie's hand in another attempt to make him stop because he didn't hear your safe word. He apparently hadn't heard anyone come in either. You can hear the shuffling of your dad placing the cake down, taking off his trench coat and boots, and the clink of his keys being placed on the table. "I took off me boots, I know yer' don't like trackin' on the carpet-----Y/N?"
How was Hughie not hearing you or that someone was here, you try to look back at him and see something is wrong, his eyes, his soft eyes, they have a blank empty look to them. You fight his hand off of your mouth, "Hugh-Hughie, Hey," you take a brief moment to breathe and say "Cake" again, loud enough for your dad to hear.
"Hughie, please.....stop, snap out of it," you plead but he isn't stopping. It's like Hughie is there, physically, but, that was all. He actually began getting more aggressive. "DAD--!! DADDY!!"
In a heartbeat your door is kicked down and your dad is throwing Hughie off of you and against the wall. "Are you alrigh' swee'heart?" He asks you, kneeling in front of you as you quickly throw a T-shirt on. You nod and he hugs your head for a second before going to Hughie, picking him up and his fist is about to land a second time when he stops. "Oi....Hughie....?"
"Butch-.....," Hughie looks around, wide eyed, confused. His eyes were his own again, like a doe in headlights. "Where am I? Y/N?" He looks to you, worried. "Who did that?" He looks at your throat.
"Di' you tell him he could be 'ere?" Billy asks you and you nod, he's still holding Hughie against the wall. "What happened?" Hughie asks, he was being legitimate and you could tell.
"Shut up. Swee'heart, did you invite him into bed?" You nod, "Yes, I....I'll explain, put him down please. We need to talk"
Billy reluctantly nods, he places Hughie's feet on the ground but keeps a grip on his throat. "I'll give you a momen'," he walks out, keeping the grip on Hughie's throat. You quickly slip on the pajama pants you and Hughie had thrown off to the side and go out to join them. "Daddy, he's turning blue. Please let him go..."
"Daddy?" Hughie asks wide eyed once he can breathe again.
"Yes, she came ou' of me bullocks," Billy shoots him a glare.
"You've got a daughter? You've had a daughter this entire time? You and Becca--?" He then looks to you, "You're Butcher's daughter?"
"No, not me and Becca mate--," Billy tells him, you can both see the shame
"I didn't know you two knew each other," you explain and rub your neck. "Oh Je--did I do that?" Hughie rushes over to look at you. "You didn't mean it, I think you were blacked out....I should have listened, you said to be quiet"
"Did you two have a safe word? Because, he should have listened to the bloody safe word!"
"We did, we did, I swear I didn't hear it!!" Hughie obviously felt horrible and had no knowledge of what he was doing, "Did you say it?"
"Three times, I thought you couldn't hear me but guys---you know each other?"
"He's my best friend," they say in unison
"Oh.....," you cough a bit, "sorry........I'm worried about you Hughie, that wasn't you and you don't even remember, you checked completely out.....I think you need therapy, I think you need to take him please ....he's my best friend.....," you look to your father. He slowly nods.
".....'ow long 'ave you two known each other?"
"He used to work at the tech store--," Hughie had gone and brought you something to soothe your neck, "next to the deli I worked at....we became friends when he would come by for lunch, him and Robin......"
"When did....that .....start?"
"That.....we had never done that before....," Hughie speaks up, "......I came to talk to her because of a fight with Annie and she said it was her birthday and that she had always had a crush on me and one thing lead to another and oh my God, I am such an asshole.....Y/N, I am so sorry," he could barely look at you.
"It's alright, just please let daddy take you to therapy....," Hughie nods and agrees with no argument.
"So....you cheated on Becca?" He looks to Billy, who says nothing except, "I'll pay for it soon 'nough when we release the virus"
"What? Dad, you're still doing that? You can't do that! It will kill you too and I can't loose you!! I know, I know you say everyone says you're bad, that you're this awful person, but, you're not!!" You cough again, raising your voice hurts.
"I'm trying to convince him to take the V1," Hughie tells you softly, rubbing your arm
"I will if you do," he says simply.
---------------1 Month Later-----------------
"Rea'y?" Billy asks Hughie. Things had been quiet between them. Billy had honestly been just as worried about Hughie as he had been about you, not that he'd ever admit that. No one has to see worry.
A few days after that night Hughie and Annie made up, they had refrained from any extra curricular activities in the mean time until Hughie got help. Billy was happy about that, but, not so thrilled about Hughie basically having used you like a band-aid until he and Annie were back together, not particularly ecstatic about how you were so understanding about it; the worst part was he knew Hughie had told you to be quiet to begin with because he didn't want to hear you and not her and felt ashamed of you
Today was Hughie's first therapy session.
"Yeah, yeah.....thanks man....for all of this....," he tells Billy as they walk out of their abandoned school building home and to the van. "So.....uh.....how is Y/N doing? I've been trying to reach out to her, she hasn't responded....."
"You saved me dog....," Billy says simply and says nothing else, keeping his eyes on the road. He drives them there and waits for Hughie's session to be done.
"Billy---please.....is she alright? I get if she hates me but I just want to know she's alright? She's my friend....."
"She's alrigh'.......," Billy answers over his shoulder, already walking out to the van as Hughie runs to catch up. "Good .......can I go see her?"
Billy shoots him a glare, "No, she's under the weather...."
"Oh? Is it the change of the weather? The going into summer can be rough after it being cold for so long--I can take her some soup"
"I'll take her the soup. You stay the fuck away from 'em"
"Them?! What the fuck do you mean them?" Hughie chases him the final steps
"I mean, stay the fuck away until I say any diffen'," Billy makes clear as he gets in
"Uh-huh? When will that be?"
"When I know you're you again," Billy says calmly
".........Oh.....thanks......but do you mean therapy? What about the plan? The virus, the chaos...."
"I foun' an abandoned bunker in Kansas, you, Y/N, Annie, Kimiko, MM, Janine, Monique, Frenchie, all of you lot will be in there when it goes down....."
"You?"
"I ain't got a choice......," Hughie smiles, that was a way of saying yes. "And the V1?" "Won't be 'nough, Annie and Kimiko need it"
"What if there is enough?"
"..........I'll thin' abou' it....."
"What did you mean them?"
"I didn' mean nothin', misspoke ---"
"I'm going to find out anyway, especially if we will be locked in a bunker together"
"Alrigh', but, you ain't gonna fin' out from me because I don't know yet......'ow did it go? Y/N's been askin' 'bout you...."
"It went....I don't know....but.....it's good, feels good, to finally....talk about some stuff.....I'm gonna keep going...."
Author's Note: This takes place in 2026; we are saying that after the finale Sam woke up from a coma and that is where he had the nightmare of the life without Dean and found a way to bring Dean back. Also, the whole idea of this I got from a TikTok and so the whole idea relies on Sam not knowing the reader's real name and I will give her one, but, it's still you the reader, just pretend with the name--It will make sense. I hope y'all enjoy it and it's a bit short
Summary: You have been dating Dean Winchester for two years, two years where you and Dean agreed that Sam couldn't know your name. Dean called you Babe or Princess, especially around his brother, and Sam calls you Sweetheart. When Dean pops the question and you say yes, you have one condition, Sam has to know your name before you go to the alter.
Pairing: Dean × Reader
Warnings: lying/avoiding telling Sam the truth, maybe language, a little drinking, age gap (Dean is 47, reader is 28-29)
"Yes, yes, absolutely yes," you nod your head as your body displays conflicting reactions of crying and smiling, even laughing a bit, as you wrap your arms around Dean's neck and squeeze your eyes shut for a moment when he wraps his arms around you tightly after sliding the ring on your finger.
After a second you move and open your eyes, bringing your hand to place it on his cheek as you peck his lips softly. "What is it?" His brows furrow as he asks, "I can see it in your eyes babe.....what is it?"
Your smile fades just the smallest bit. "Yes absolutely.....if--"
"An ultimatum.....if what?" He sighs and glances away, "If what?" He rubs your leg.
"Easy tiger, get that sparkle out of your eye," you laugh softly as you smile at him, "if, you tell Sammy my name...."
"No, no, no, that will break his heart. You know it will. I already feel horrible, I have the whole time--"
"My name isn't your fault Dean and I know, I don't want to hurt Sam, I love him, that's why we have to tell him before we do this. He can't find out when my name is read off for the I dos......we can't spring it on him then...."
Dean stands and then sits beside you on the bed, he looks to his feet and then over at Miracle with his head on your lap, glancing up at you both. He sighs and fidgets anxiously with his hands, squeezing the bed and then rubbing his knees, then messing with your hair tie on his wrist; he pulls it back so it will flick him then spins it, then pulls it back again. You grab his hand, "Stop.....Do you want me to be there?"
He shakes his head, "No....No.....Judas did the kissin' alone......"
"Okay.....,I love you," you kiss him and rub his cheek bone with your thumb and bite your lip nervously as you pull away, resting your forehead on his before you pull away.
"Alright.......one more kiss for the road, incase Sammy y'know kills me?" You smile and give him a slow soft kiss and send him out with a spank on his bottom.
"Hey." He points with a warning tone, "Miracle, you comin'?" He waits for him at the door, "Or you can stay with Mom," he smiles and leaves to the hall. "Sammy?! Sammy?"
"Library!!!" Sam calls back to him. Dean stops in the kitchen to grab a beer and to take one last deep breath before he makes his way to the library in not so confident bowlegged strides. He stops and leans on the wall, looking at Sam, nose buried in a book at the table and he sips the beer.
"So ge---what's up?" Sam looks up at him and immediately knows they're about to have an important conversation. Dean slowly walks over and reaches into his pocket, he gently places the two wedding band rings he had already gotten right over the initials carved into wood in front of his brother.
Sam lifts one of them in his fingers and smiles, "Dean, Dean, this is great," his face lights up and he looks up at his brother before standing to give him a big bear hug. "Have you asked?" Dean nods.
"She said yes? Dean, this is so great, you're getting married, you and-----," Dean watches his brother's facial expressions shift the moment he realizes he had somehow never known your name. "Dean.....this is going to sound insane.....I don't....I don't know her name ....."
"It's....It's not insane Sammy.....you don't, we-I.....made sure you wouldn't.....she only said yes on the condition that I came clean........I didn't want to hurt you, Sam....," he is sure he is probably looking at Sam and his face probably reads as disappointment.
"What? W-Why? What do you mean hurt me? Dean, this isn't making sense....what's her name?" Sam's brows were knit together tightly in utter confusion.
"Sit down little brother...."
Sam half chuckles and tilts his head, "Sit down?"
"Sammy, I said....sit down, please," Dean places his beer down on the table and pushes Sam's shoulders to make him sit. He paces for a moment as Sam watches and wipes his hand over his face, licks his lips, repeats the process.
"Dean, what could her name possibly be to cause all of this? I'm really not understanding---," Dean looks at him, his eyes fill with pity before he shuts them. He isn't sure he can see the pain Sam will be in when he says the answer.
"Her name is.......I--," he keeps trying and psyching himself out
"Dean, what is her name?! Just tell me!"
"Jessica. Her name is Jessica....."
"Jessica.....," Sam crokes out
"Sam, I'm sorry, I never ever intended to hurt you but when I met her I fell hard, head over hills, I'm sorry---I'm sorry, I have felt like I've been stabbing you in the back this whole time----," he stops, shocked by Sam's arms around him. "Dean, it's great. I am so happy for you and Jess......love you guys," Dean can hear he's crying so he holds his brother's head. "Thankyou," Dean smiles
"Question though....you guys waited this long, why not wait and let me hear it on the big day?" Sam finally chuckles as he pulls away, wiping his face.
"Honestly, I was gonna.....she thought that would be cruel.....she's been wanting to come clean for a while, it's been eating at her, y'know, because you're both.....soft.....so.....you and me.....we cool?"
Sam nods, "one problem"
"What's that?" Dean asks, returning the rings in his coat pocket
Sam was handing him a knife when he looks back up and pointing to the table
"You'll Change Your Mind~" They Said, At Least There Is Cake
Author's Note: This one is meant to be just a funny piece for me to vent. Since both Y/N's will be in this, I'll make Y/N's (Ben's gf) dialogue etc pink and I'll make Judy's mom's blue
Summary: Soldier Boy invites his girlfriend Y/N to the country home to spend time with the family and Billy is helping Aunt Judy clean out the garage and finds a dvd home video that Judy or Monique had made of a particular event. Y/N (Soldier Boy's gf) insists on watching it so she could get to know Y/N (Judy's mother)
Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader (gf), Soldier Boy x Reader x Billy Butcher (Judy's mother, late gf)
Warnings: language bc duh, Y/N is not a normal woman, surprise from Ben, Billy and Y/N (Ben's gf) are besties, so much unfiltered sass from Ben and Judy's mom that gives a glimpse into their short lived relationship before her passing, Ben being offended, Ben and Judy's mom being over it, Billy being an excited happy boy, MM being your dad
"Big day. Big step. You're letting me meet the family," you smile and hold Ben's hand as he escorts you up the few steps of the porch. "Oh, this porch is lovely. Was it here when you bought the house?"
"Actually, Butcher and I built it. Y/N was having dreams and talking about it and," he smiles and giggles a little, looking at the wood beneath his feet, "I was pissed he didn't let me do it and she was annoyed we wouldn't let her help; she said she wanted to rock Judy outside---anyway, Judy should be home. It's the weekend," his brows furrow when he hears something and looks in the direction of the garage. "Stay here. Don't move." He was immediately on guard, going around to see what it was. "It's just Aunt Judy and William--"
"Babe, when are you going to stop calling him that?" You giggle and peck his lips
"Mm~, when he stops calling me love like a pole smoker," he smirks and places his hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside. "Welcome-you won't believe what this place-"
"Benjamin, don't start on that today, no one wants to 'ear it dear. 'ello love. I'm Aunt Judy," the elderly woman smiles and offers you a handshake. "So lovely to finally to meet you, Billy has told me all about you on our outings"
"Oh has he? Billy? He doesn't open up much, he's quite like a turtle. I am so 'appy he finally has a friend, he enjoys you too"
"Mine." Ben possessively hooks an arm around your waist and brings you flush against his chest. You and Aunt Judy both roll your eyes. You place your hand over his chest, "Yes babe, I'm all yours. Trust me, Billy is nowhere near over Y/N and he is not my type," you kiss him to reassure him that he won't have to share this time and he nods, deepening the kiss and turning you to face him. You tap his chest, "Later~," you lick his lips.
"Dad!! You brought Y/N!!" Judy runs out from her bedroom and jumps up into your arms. "Hi Beautiful," you give her a giant hug.
"Are you going to be kissing because Daddy is cleaning the garage for Aunt Judy and playing---," Billy storms into the room at just that moment.
"Oi, 'ello love," he greets you with a smile then holds up the paper CD case with the disk inside up to show his aunt. "Wha' is this? It's labeled, 'Annoying Cornbread? It's in Monique's hand' looks like?"
"Fucking shoot me," Ben lets his forehead fall onto your shoulder, apparently he knows what it is.
"Oh you found it~, goodie~. It's Judith's baby shower," his aunt answers him, "Shall we watch it?"
There's an excited yes from the father daughter duo and a giant NO! from Ben that didn't seem to matter. You smile as he picks Judy up and goes to sit on the couch with you and Billy. "Do we have to?" He asks
"Ben, it will be good for Judith to see and I wouldn't mind getting to know Y/N a little myself. I'm sure it was a very exciting day for her," you're met with hearty laughter from the three adults in the room and the men even wipe a single tear from each of their eyes from laughing so hard. You're left sitting in confusion, leaning up against Ben with Judy on his lap and leaning on his chest. Your head rests on his shoulder.
Butcher grabs all of the adults a beer and then sits on Ben's other side on the couch and Aunt Judy takes her recliner. Billy had popped the dvd in and pressed play, "To Judy," he raises his bottle and you all toast as it begins.
"Wait, how long were you with Y/N?" You ask the boys before it starts.
"We knew eac'f' o'ther for six years, we were toge'her for four," Billy answers, taking a sip of his beer, you look to Ben. "Eight months, two weeks and three days.....," he answers and you rub his leg and hold his hand. "Our six month anniversary is coming up," he mumbles to you and you smile and nod, telling him you know
-----------The Home Film-----------
In the corner of the living room in the back behind the person being recorded on the video you can be seen, having a heated discussion with Billy.
"Ready?" Monique asks the person behind the camera. "Ready," ofcourse Hughie was the camera man. Monique happily comes over to Billy and you.
"Surprise~," she says happily, tickling your sides. "I know, I know you said no baby shower but isn't this great?"
"Billy, I told you and Ben and Annie and Monique and--I told everyone that I appreciate it but I don't want a baby sh--Bless your heart," the twang sounds like a whip yet you still have the friendliest most polite smile, "yeah, yeah, it's sump'm alright.....it's real sweet of y'all"
"See~ I knew you you'd change your mind," she hugs you and you hug her back and despite coming off so polite you look at Hughie and he turns the camera to face him. "Hi, I'm Uncle Hughie. I think you're going to be a girl, and if I don't survive today I just want you to know I love you and I'm always here if you need me," he smiles as he's walking away from you quickly. He blows the camera a kiss and then turns it around and goes over to someone. They can be heard kissing.
"Who is he talking to?" Judy laughs as she watches. "He's talking to you Swee'eart," Billy smiles over at her as he paused the movie. "Where am I?"
"You're inside your mom," Ben answers her, "she's the one that looks like she swallowed a whole Good Year blimp," he points. "That's my mom? That's me?" "Yeah, that's you"
Billy presses play again.
"She is gonna kill us," Hughie can be heard telling whoever he had just kissed through gritted teeth like he's smiling, on camera you see Janine and Little William playing Keep It Up with balloons with MM.
"That's Willy and Janine!! Willy was a baby!!" Judy exclaims, "that's my cousin's!" She tells you.
Hughie turns the camera to Annie, "So who are you and what do you think they're going to be?"
"Hi~," Annie looks so excited, "Okay, I want to start with I love you so much either way but you're totally going to be a boy!" She giggles and claps. Hughie turns the camera to himself and shakes his head no.
"Hey MM, what about you?"
"Hey, I'm your Unc MM or as Willy likes to say M&M, but, I think you're whatever Janine thinks you are"
"That's not how it works~," Hughie whines, "Fine, what do you think Janine?" Janine picks up baby William and laughs, "I want strawberry cake and someone's hair to fix so girl"
"Yes! Three for team girl, one for team boy. Aunt Judy?" He pans the camera to her at the kitchen island counter. "Boy love," she smiles. "Damn it, that's okay, still two to three, Monique, Kimiko?" He pans the camera over to them. It seemed like all the women were enjoying this, most of them. "Girl!" Kimiko jumps and giggles, "I'm Auntie Kimiko!" "Down girl, you're going to topple the cake," Monique laughs, "I'm your aunt Monique, I like Aunt MoMo but it's your call, I think you're going to be, honestly, I'm on the fence," the camera pans to her studying you sitting on Ben's lap, him rubbing your arm and the two of you talking about something and Monique's eyes squinting, studying, "Boy. You're a boy. Go ask the dads"
"Who first?" "I guess do Billy first, he's getting Y/N a plate," she points and Hughie walks over.
"Okay, and who are you and what do you think they are?"
Billy laughs, "I'm your daddy, I think you're going to be perfec', no matter what," he smirks, "tread lightly aroun' the mum mate. She is not as enthusiastic as the rest of the ladies"
"Yeah, We really thought she'd like it.....okay, wish me luck," Hughie walks over to the couch. "Ew gross," he teases the couple.
"Fuck you," they both say and laugh.
"Y/N, who are you and what do you think they will be?"
"This is stup-," you start and Ben rubs your arm, "I know. I know. It will be over soon," he says gently. He pecks your lips, "who's my girl? Hm? Who's my tough girl?" "Me, I'm your tough girl," you giggle softly and smile as he looks in your eyes. Billy slides to sit beside you both and hands you your plate of food. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" You look over your shoulder at him and he simply smiles and has a big dimple inducing grin on his face. "Alright," you smile seeing how happy Billy is.
You smile at the camera, "Babydoll, this is your family. Good luck. I'm your momma and I don't really give a rat's ass what you are because I am happy to be having you and I love you the same either way. I just wanted you. I'm being pissy about this party because I just had your Aunt Annie talk my ear off for an hour about pregnancy shit and I don't like the idea of baby showers. I 'preciate that everybody wants to do something but-," you start to stand up to go get a drink and get dizzy. Billy and Ben quickly catch you and even the camera goes closer like Hughie tries to help.
"Got her," Billy and Ben say at once, apparently talking to Hughie. "EY SHE COOL?!" A worried MM can be heard off screen behind them. "Yeah, she's alrigh' mate," Billy assures him. "We've gotcha," Ben assures you. "I'll get her some water," he says and Billy nods as he sits with you on his lap this time.
"I'm okay, I'm good," you say softly assuring everyone. You graciously accept the water that Ben brings back for you.
"I-right, I 'ppreciate what everybody is doin', I do. I just don't like jabbering on about pregnancy and I don't want a whole party for this. I'm not having you for attention, I'm having you because I want you," you return to talking to the camera as you drink the water, "need a frickin' Red Bull," you rub your head. Judy laughs, your accent slips really strong when you're tired or on certain words. "I'm Mr Brightside damn it," you remind yourself. "This party ain't about me, let me make that abundantly clear," you tell everyone, "it's about my shug'a'boog--baby," you look at the camera. "I don't care if you're a boy or a girl, I just love you. We love you," you look to Ben and Billy. "Righ'," Billy smiles and kisses your temple. He looks at you, "we migh' wanna get to the cake soon yeah?" It's almost like they all caught the hint.
"Yeah, actually," Ben speaks, softer than the usual Ben, "do I-Do I get a turn?" He asks Hughie
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead, make it fast," Hughie tells him. He smiles at his knees then at the camera. He and Billy were both dressed up and looked excited, Billy was in all black but Ben's shirt had polka dots and his coat was a bright teal. He looked silly for himself.
"Hey, uh, I-I'm Ben, I'm your dad," he smiles and waves at the camera, he's so awkward that you can be heard saying "bless your heart" to the side. "I love you either way but please be a girl. I already have one son and he's a huge fucking disappointment." Everyone laughs.
"What, no I want a son to carry on my legacy~?" MM mocks him from somewhere off screen in the back.
"Fuck all of you," Ben pouts and it makes you giggle, "I'm over this shit, can we have some fucking cake?"
"What about me?" Someone asks from way in the back as the door opens and shuts and Hughie looks over to Ryan coming in
"Oi Ryan~," Billy greets him. "Sorry I'm late. I didn't wanna be here," Ryan laughs, "I'm your uh--"
The room goes still, everyone seems to be thinking. "He's your big brother," MM walks into frame and tells the camera, patting Ryan's shoulder. "Yeah, I'm your brother," he mouths thanks to MM between gritted teeth. "I think you're going to be a girl and I'm going to be very protective over you. Deal with it. So I was hoping I came just in time for cake?"
"Yeah," Billy answers and Hughie accidentally catches him and Ben laying you down comfortably on the couch and leaning down to kiss your head as you dosed off as everyone gathers around the cake.
"So who cuts this fucking thing?" Ben asks, "It's kind of cute, I'd feel bad cutting it"
"I 'fink you should love," Billy pats his shoulder, "stop fucking calling me that," Ben rolls his eyes and cuts the first slice. He and Ben are both ecstatic, they actually forget who they are for a second and high-five, followed by a fist pump of bros. It's a short lived moment as they remember and reveal to everyone that Judy is a girl.
"I KNEW THE WHOLE TIME!! I MADE THE CAKE!" Aunt Judy exclaims as quietly as she can without waking you as everyone starts eating. Hughie catches Ben and Billy talking
"She needs to eat." "I know, I know, you're stern with her--" "Boys. Guys. I got this," MM interrupts them and takes the cake slice for you from Billy's hands as he is shoving it to Ben again. Neither argue with him, just watch him go to you on the couch and kneel down in front of you. "Hey, Y/N....come'on, you need to eat," he was full on dad mode; you were weak so he was feeding you until he can slowly get you to sit up and he helps you walk to your room.
"Janine, take your sister some water- I mean, take Y/N some water" "Yes sir"
The camera shows the cake and then Hughie walks outside and plops into a rocking chair on the porch and holds the camera facing him. "That's your life kid--oh hey kiddo~, this is William, he's your cousin," he helps baby William wave and ends it
----------------------------------
Judy was laughing and giggling at everyone talking to her throughout the movie and was now falling asleep in your lap.
"I see why you loved her. Thankyou for allowing me to be a part of all this. I'll carry her to bed, where's her room?"
"I've got 'er love, I'll let you two have a moment," Billy grabs Judy from you and walks outside to the porch
"That wasn't how I planned today going," Ben looks up at you, he takes your hand to bring you to straddle his knee. Of course he has to roll your trademark pencil skirt up your thighs a bit to make that easier for you and has to let his hands and fingers roam around the exposed flesh.
You lean to hold his face and kiss him. "Mm~, that's alright babe. I enjoyed it. Like I said, I'm all in. Will you be that excited at ours one day?" He simply smirks, keeping eye contact with you. He holds the back of your neck and the small of your back to bring you closer and chuckles darkly, "I didn't take you to be the type"
"I didn't take you to be the type," you kiss him and as you're making out you both forget that you're not alone. As things get heated a blouse falls gracefully to the floor, then a bra is flung across the room and lands on a lamp somewhere. One piece after another everything but your heels, skirt, and panty hoses until you hear Billy.
"Oh fuck all for fucks sake, Aunt Judy, let's go out for dinner, yeah?" He's carrying sleeping Judy and pulling his aunt's hand out of the door, shielding her eyes.
"I'm so sorry Aunt Judy!" You shriek
"Oh don't be love!!" She calls back, unbothered and giggling.
"Get the fuck out," Ben growls at Billy and he brings your neck back to what you were doing, "Come'er," he growls.
Author's Note: Howdy y'all 👋🏻😁, okie dokie, this one is mostly flashback/memory, it's heavily focused on Firecracker and Y/N (Judy's mother), all of the memories are in a different color; it's backstory. In order of events it would take place four years before Fuck Ya Right To Sleep, Love; technically it's the first chapter. Red is FireCracker's flashback and Y/N's will be blue. This is being written and posted just after s5 ep4 so if the next episodes kill off Firecracker like I've heard talks of then we will just use our imagination for a way that she's brought back so the rest of the chapters make sense
Summary: You have spent the past several years in the city with The Boys. You originally came to find Firecracker and bring her home, you missed her, until recently. Now, with your health declining and recent news that was dropped, your feelings have changed, you don't want to see her face unless it's to kill her, but Billy might not give you a choice and he and Hughie might make some questionable alliances
Pairing: Billy Butcher × Soldier Boy × Reader, Firecracker is your sister
Words: 🤷🏻♀️
Warnings: Language, health concerns (brain cyst,), age gaps Y/N is 24 and Billy is older, description of incestuous SA, read at your own risk idk everything
The days had been passing with a gloom about them that only Billy felt like he could see that no one else could feel or see. He had no idea how wrong he was as he once again sat crying while you slept. Crying, contemplating, chewing his nails and picking the skin off as he places the bedpan on the nightstand table behind him. He had come back from the tower hours ago when you had a seizure and were out longer than you've ever been before
In Vought towers, someone else could feel a shift in the atmosphere. She had smelled the watermelon scent in the air for a while now and kept finding herself disassociated in her room into another time and place entirely where she wasn't in the city anymore.
"You're going to so win this pageant, I missed you, I wish I could go but we all can't be lucky to be as pretty as you. But, I always tell everybody that that's my Misty," Misty smiles in the mirror listening to you as you do her makeup and paint her lips in a bright red lipstick.
"Yeah? Except for her eyes I reckon," she hugs you. "Misty!! Y/N!! Come get supper!!"
"I always miss you too. Do you smell that? Storm rollin in," you looked out of her bedroom together. "Yeah, looks like it. Reckon we ain't goin out to catch fireflies tonight," you giggle and take in a deep inhale to smell the air as you close her window, you're jumping to push it down to the latches and still can't so she comes to help you. "No fair, you're pretty and strong," you giggle and hug her waist. You look up at her, she's slightly taller, after all, she's 8 and you're 6. "You're so pretty Misty, you look like Jolene"
"Comin' Momma" You and Misty dart to the kitchen, your plate is loaded down as if it's Thanksgiving in July and hers is empty. You look at yours and then look at hers. Yours had a heaping scoop of baked mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, a ham neck bone, collard greens, corn bread; hers had a small scoop of collard greens, some white rice, and a roll.
"Why is Misty's plate like that? Why are ours different?" You ask confused, Misty looks at you then her mother
"Cuz baby, you're gonna get blown away if somebody breathes onya, you need some meat on your bones don't weigh much as that neck bone and don't no man wanna cuddle a stick, he wants some meat with his taytas and Misty has pagents, she needs to watch her figure"
"Oh....then may I have some pound cake please?" You ask
"Yeah baby, take that icing up there too," you cut yourself a slice of pound cake and grab the tub of vanilla birthday cake icing, "May we have supper on the porch please? There's a storm comin' and it smells nice," her mother nods in approval and you put the paper plate with the pound cake in your teeth to carry it and your dinner and also hold Misty's hand to pull her outside by the hand to sit on the porch
"Mmmm~ it smells so good~," you say, breathing in the food and the air as you both sit on the steps. Misty nods and begins eating her food slowly. "Misty, gimmie," you tell her making a gimmie hand and she passes her plate to you in confusion and watches you put half of all of your food on her plate and give it back then shoo a squita and a fly from the pound cake off to the side. "If the rain is warm we can play in it," you say, swinging your feet and she's devouring her food and nodding in agreement.
After the main food you both have just enough appetite for the one slice off cake. You use the butter knife that you used to cut it with to spread the icing on it and cut it in half and then you clean dinner off of your fork and dig in, egging her on. "Momma would kill me," she laughs. "She ain't gonna know. Come on~," Misty slowly gives in. "That's my Misty, all the fellas are gonna wanna cuddle you when we grow up--," after your slice you're so full you need a nap but the clouds broke. "It's warm," you say, sticking your hand into the raindrops that are pouring down before getting up and tagging her. "Tag, you're it!" You took off running and you chased each other around until you simply begin frolicking a bit, then you're both worn out.
Misty woke the next morning to the storm still pouring down, it's dark outside for early morning. All of the sky is an angry gray. You're in the bed where you two slept, and you looked like a sickly Victorian child. Misty got her mother to come look at you. She felt your face and looked you over. "Momma.....what's wrong with her?" "Misty, I don't know. I called her deddy' to come git her. Go on and start getting ready. I liked that lipstick you had yesterday, was that mine? You should wear that. Makes ya look like a right young woman especially with that little body ya got on you." "W-We can't just leave her-she's sick" "I told you, we ain't just leavin'er, her deddy' is comin', march" "But-" "But nothin' all youngins ain't built for playin' in the rain. Go get dolled up" "Yes ma'am, can I say bye?" "Yeah, make it snappy," her mother leaves and she comes over to you. "I didn't know you'd get sick, I'm sorry..." "I wanted to," you try to giggle, "ain't your fault I'm too weak for a lil rain. Kick butt at that pageant," you smile at her as your dad pulls up outside and walks into the room, scooping you up.
"She'll be alright shug," your dad kisses the top of her hair and leaves, you wave at each other and then you lay your head on your dad's shoulder to rest. Unbeknownst to both of you, you'd never see each other again
"Firecracker....Firecracker!! Hey!!" Firecracker snaps to when she hears someone saying her name and snapping in her face. "Hey, been calling your name for five minutes. You 'k?" Ben's brows are furrowed together as he asks, staring at her intently, bringing his submarine sandwich to his mouth. Was he concerned?
She blinks and shakes her head, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.....you smell a storm comin?"
Now he's the one blinking in confusion. "What the fuck does a storm smell like?"
"Watermelon.....," she smiles a little as she begins eating.
"This some kinda weird southern shit? The fuck are you doin' here?" He asks, looking up when the door opens
"Oi, I'm not 'ere for you mate. I'm here for that cunt," Billy looks to Firecracker
"Pardon?" Misty's brows furrow as she looks up at the burly brit. "What do you want with me?"
"Fuck all actually........there's someone I need you to see..... believe me, I don' wanna be askin' ei'ver......I won't beg because truth be told, they don't want to see you anymore ei'ver.....but.....please.....I 'fink it might give 'em str'en'f to see you," coming here, asking her to visit you, much against his better judgement. He was desperate, you were dying, growing weaker by the day. He was considering slipping you V but was battling that idea because it would either save you or take you from him in a snap of someone's fingers. Even though you despised Firecracker now, knowing what she did, he thought maybe if you saw her it might motivate you to fight longer. To stay with him. After all, you and Misty were different from him and Lenny; you were taken from each other and he'd give anything--almost anything to have Lenny back.
Misty simply scoffs and begins laughing, "You think that I would help you? Just walk right into some trap, how stupid do you think I am, Billy Butcher?"
"You may wan' ter reconsider, if you don't come I'll know you're much more stupid 'van I already 'fink you are......."
"If you're going to just stand there insultin' me then I absolutely am not going with you"
"I ain't tryna' insult ya, I was answerin' you're question love.....you settle' on your answer?"
"You can go," she dismisses him
"Suit yourself love......"
Meanwhile, across the city in The Boys office you were also having lunch with Hughie. He was looking at you like a worried brother and catching your head every time it threatened to fall as you were eating. "After this, go lay down....Y/N, Y/N?" He didn't know that as you drifted off you dreamed. More like relived a nightmare.
"You have such a beautiful daddy~, you know that?" Your eldest sister smiled and looked in your eyes as she lifted your fifteen year old chin to look in each other's eyes. You had recently learned that Misty was your sister as well and you missed her. You and your parents had just moved again and your dad introduced you to your eldest sister; she used to write you letters when you were little. Your parents had agreed to let you go have a sleepover with her. This was not how you saw it going. A Dixie Chicks song playing on the old stereo system behind her, her smiling at you and saying these things as cans of the cheapest beer possible were scattered around the trailer and the stench of it attacked your nose while she was smiling at you and her eyes brimmed with tears. You couldn't believe it but you actually were scared and wanted to go home to your parents fighting. She takes your hand then and leads you to her bedroom, her boyfriend follows behind you and you all lay down. She lay sandwiched between the two of you. You felt her nose bury into your neck and then someone's hands touching you, groping you. Your eyes widen for a second, you almost panic before you remember that time when you were little and your mom accused your dad of doing this in the tub, how no matter how hard you screamed at her that he didn't, it didn't matter. Your dad had to leave you until it was proven you told the truth. No one would believe you, they all thought you were some type of virgin-slut oxymoron, it wouldn't make a damn difference, in fact they would be angry and blame you and be mad you weren't pregnant somehow. Realizing that, you close your eyes tight, and you pretend to sleep and never speak of it again. At least for the next decade or so until you meet Billy Butcher and he asks why you always fall asleep curled up into the tightest of fetal positions with your knees to your chest and you have to dig into the crevices of your mind to even remember this night yourself.
"Hey! Y/N!! Y/N!!!" You come to to Hughie leaning over you, holding your head. He's scared, damn it they're always scared. You wished you could take that fear away from him and anyone who you have ever seen it on the face of; your mom, your dad, Misty, Hughie, MM, most of all, Billy. This has happened enough that you already know that it was a seizure. "How long was I out?"
"S-Seven minutes!! Is that really all you have to say?! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, fuck I'm sorry, MM!!" As you drift off to sleep in the post seizure exhaustion you're just aware enough to know MM is carrying you to bed.
"Oi love," you wake to see Billy sitting beside you and smiling over at you, " 'eard you were out longer this time?"
You glance around, taking in the bed pan on the nightstand table, he had been there a while taking care of you in the after math.
"......Billy," you're so weak. "Yes love?" "You would be a good deddy'...."
He half chuckles, "words no one else has ever spoken.....why are you sayin' this love?"
You smile, "........I've wanted to be a momma for a long time....."
"Get some sleep love, when yer' 'feelin' bet'a I'll put a li'le one in you," he jokes and kisses your forehead
The Lady With the Funny Voice and the Lady With the Nice Shoes
Author's Note: This is the part after In Control & In Too Deep, I apologize it may be short; I'm just in a mood to write and I'm enjoying the story tbh. Y/N is the same one from the previous chapter, I don't think I'll be mentioning Judith's mother Y/N but if I do I'll make a note so no worries. Edit: Okay I did mention the other Y/N, she's the one that is FireCracker's sister and Judy's mother.
Edit: This series was written pre s5 ep5
Summary: You and Ben have been talking, amongst other things, for a few months and he finally convinced Judith's other father to allow you to meet her after you have spoken and met with him several times. Billy was a tough cookie to crack. You are so close to being in the family when another test arrives
Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader
Warnings: language, Judy meets her aunt, some cuteness mentioned of a friendship with you and Billy, you meet Judy, Girl Dad! Ben, mentions of SA
----Several Months Ago----
"Ey, Butcher. We need to talk," Ben found himself alone in a room with Billy for once while the Judies were out shopping. Billy glances over at him from behind a news paper, yes a physical old school newspaper because they're old men and that's what they do. He flicks some ash from his cigar into his ashtray on the table next to him.
"Wha' is it love?" "I have been telling you for six fucking years to stop calling me that," Ben barks, he's leaned over in his chair with his elbows rested on his knees. The house was quiet, too damn quiet. He looks over to Button and Terror snuggled up in their bed in the corner, "Don't you two I don't know bark or something?"
Billy smirks behind the paper, he can sense Ben is nervous. "Well, you'd think you would realize I'm not gonna love. There a reason you're interrogatin' two sleepin' senior pups while they're res'in? That wha' you wanted to talk abou'?"
"We need to talk. It involves Judy." "Obviously, you and I don' really talk 'bou' 'nuv'in else, except work"
"I have been seeing someone, for a while now--"
"A while?" Billy raises a brow. "Well, we fucked a few times and I like eating with her and stuff," Billy continues hiding his delight and smirking behind the paper. "Eatin' 'wiv' 'er, ey? It that new girl on the 7?"
"Yeah--" "Good. Smart boy, if you were fuckin' Firecracker again I'd nev'a let you near Judy again"
"Thing is. I want them to meet each other, Y/N and Judy....," Billy lowers the paper, his brows furrow together. "You wan' 'er to meet Judy-yur' serious aren't you mate? You ain't bloody jokin'?" He looks at Ben.
"So....can she meet her?"
"No."
------------------Today-------------------
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," Ben mutters under his breath as he takes a deep one and pushes the door of the towers open and steps inside, carrying Judy sitting on his arm and hugging his neck as she sleeps under her blanket. He technically wasn't supposed to have her at the tower.
You were stepping out of the meeting room when you see him and run over, you're talented in your heels. "Oh my gosh! Is this Ju-oh she's sleeping, sorry," you restrain your excitement to whisper when Ben backs away from you as you approach and holds her closer, his hand on the back on her head. He's using the blanket to shield her. He didn't look pleased that you were almost so loud and he looks tired.
"You look absolutely beat. Let's get you some Joe. Did you both have a rough start this morning?" You ask as he walks behind you over to where you can make a cup of coffee and you look at him over your shoulder. You then make him a cup of coffee and pass it to him, black like he likes it. "Thanks," he takes it with his semi-free hand, "Yeah, something like that. She's been crying since 4 fucking AM. The dumbass skeet daycare service decided to shave his fucking beard, she got up early and ran into him in the hallway and she's never seen either of us without one so she didn't recognize him; it freaked her the fuck out," he explains, sipping his coffee.
"Aww, poor baby," you gently rub her back while she's still against his chest, "why exactly did Billy shave?"
"He has to go to Argentina for work and said he wanted to feel the sun on his skin or some bullshit. He calmed her halfway down then I had to take over."
"May I move the blanket enough to see her, please?" You ask gently. "No." He moves a half a notch away. "Okay," you raise your hands in surrender. "I'm just so happy Billy finally agreed, not that I haven't had a grand time on our coffee outings," you smile.
"Yeah, well, he did agree you could meet her but she's still not supposed to be exposed to the horseshit that is our lives"
"Understood, so we have to make like it's one normal day around the office," you chuckle. He goes around to sit in his chair at The 7 table and you find yours, unfortunately yours is all the way across on the other side of him.
You both keep glancing at each other and now looking at Judy too once the meeting begins. It was something useless and irrelevant to both of you today, something about the numbers or something, everyone loved you and Ben though. From the moment the others filed in, of course Firecracker noticed a little one in the room. Ben's arm protectively became a shield as it did when you approached her but this time he sits his actual shield between Judy and Firecracker when she reaches out to touch her and see her. He had it blocking Judy and sitting between his knees, honestly you had to bite your lip because it was so attractive.
"Don't fucking touch." He glares, okay, you didn't understand what it was, but, that family had serious beef. You wanted to be a part of that family so you were on guard as well, you knew about the promise too. This was a test as well. You had to show yourself. You would have to find out what the beef was later though.
"What's your deal Ben? I just wanna see the little miracle. She's gotten so big from the last time I saw her, she was fresh out of her momma then," Firecracker smiles at him, then glances at you as she says how long it had been.
"I said don't fucking touch her. Get the fuck away from her." He spits out and glares.
"Fine, Lord have mercy Ben, you are a protective daddy. She's gonna be such a daddy's girl," she laughs and goes to her seat next to his. "My little sister was a daddy's girl with her daddy too," she smiles at the child resting against Ben. You both note it's almost fondly, you see it in her eyes.
You clear your throat, "Wouldn't that make him yours too, Missy? I'm quite a daddy's girl myself," you smile, pretending to strike up friendly conversation. "And you seem fond of your sister," you add
"Hm?" She seemed to be entranced for a moment, looking at Judy. Judy had moved enough her face was peeking out of the blanket and Ben moves it back, you see him whisper "Go to sleep baby," and kiss her head.
She looks to you then. "Oh, yes, you would thank' so huh?" She giggles, "Yes, yes I was. Y/N younger than me but she always took really good care of me like if she was my momma. She called me her Misty and made me feel like the only girl in the whole wide world, she was my number one fan at my pagents," you see a tear slide slowly down her cheek as she smiles at the table. "She got to be a daddy's girl, she had a momma and a daddy, I just had my momma.....daddy was around, he wasn't a deadbeat or nothin', we just didn't know we were sisters.....she went away when she was six after she got sick--," her voice raises in pitch before she speaks again, "anyways, I found out later, about all of that y'know, we keep thangs' hush hush....."
"Do you miss her?"
"Yes....Yes, very much. 'Course, I don't know if she's dead or alive, I don't know what she looks like anymore.....well, ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a daddy's girl," she smiles at Judy again before the meeting starts.
Through the meeting it's an exchange of glances, glances between you and Ben, Ben and Judy, you and Misty, Misty and Ben. Eventually Judy woke up and Ben's eyes stayed glued between her and Firecracker, who apparently you knew was her aunt but she herself didn't know.
"My word, you are just beautiful darlin'," Misty smiles brightly at Judy who initially smiles at the stranger and the compliment then blinks. "Hi....," Judy tilts her head looking at Firecracker and squints like she's studying her. "You.....talk funny," she says sheepishly.
The room fills with giggles around the table, except for you and Ben.
"Oh, it's probably my accent, I'm not from New York," Firecracker smiles.
"Okay, no more talking to her," Ben squeezes Judy's side and brings her attention to the box of crayons and the coloring book he was taking out of her BTS backpack. He had it over one of his shoulders when they came into the tower and had sat it by his feet when he sat down. That seems to work, she's distracted for the moment.
Firecracker mouths, "What the Hell?" to which he flips her the bird behind Judy's head. You holding back a laugh.
After the meeting when the room clears out it was finally your chance. You come over to Judy and Ben.
"Hello Judy, I'm Y/N. It's so lovely to finally meet you, your dad is a very close friend of mine," you smile and kneel to offer her a handshake. "Hi," she smiles and then looks at you, up and down and she laughs.
"What?" Ben asks her curiously. "She looks like the skirt lady on Powerpuff Girls. I like your shoes," she answers him and tells you. You take a moment to realize you were wearing your signature heels paired with a pencil skirt, having grown up with Powerpuff Girls yourself you understand. "Thank you, that's a major compliment. Oh, I love your backpack"
"Thankyou! Daddy got it for me! That's JK! That's Jimin! That's Tae!! That's 'Joon! That's Yoongi! That's Jin!" She points to each member of the group. "They're the bestest band ever!"
Ben rolls his eyes and mumbles something about Japs, she looks over her shoulder shooting him a glare. "They're Korean!!!" "Yeah, yeah," he smiles and puts a hand on the back of her head, "let's go to Y/N's room"
The three of you walk out and start walking down the hall when Firecracker turns from around the corner where she had been hiding and waiting.
She smiles at you all, then specifically at him. You instinctively hold Judy closer to yourself and lift her up to hold her on your hip before taking a step behind Ben's shoulder.
"Sweetpea, I was just thinking, you look so familiar," she says to Judy. "I do?"
"Mhm~, and then it dawned on me. You look just like my little sister," she lets her eyes dart to Ben and blinks knowingly.
"I don't have a big sister. Just a big brother," Judy starts and you place a hand over her mouth. She's confused now.
"Yes sweety, I know. Ryan right?" She then brings her attention to Ben. "Where is she?" "Dead. Move." He had taken your hand and was pushing past her but she had already had Ben slammed against the wall and they were beating the shit out of each other. You shielded Judy and slipped her into your room and listened to the fight, keeping your hand over her mouth. They spoke about Y/N (not the one with Judy, Judy's mom) and you heard what the beef and the promise was about.
"MY LITTLE SISTER IS DEAD?! SHE WAS HERE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?! YOU'VE BEEN HIDING MY NIECE FROM ME?!"
"YEAH!! SHE FOUND OUT WHAT YOU DID TO THAT KID AND SHE HATED YOU!!"
The bashes and breaking sounds stop. You still hear them speaking.
"No, no. Y/N wouldn't hate me"
"Oh she despised you. She came to New York trying to bring you home, to save you. She found out you were slobbin' that boy's teenage jizz rocket and she couldn't forgive you, not after what she went through--"
"What?" Firecracker was crying.
"When she was his age some muther fucker did it to her, she saw you as one of 'em and on her death bed made me promise you would never touch her little girl, fucking skank ball!"
It's silent for a moment.
"H-How did she die? Was she still sick?"
"Yeah.....the pregnancy drained her, she died giving bir--"
"Just don't....don't let her dance in the rain, okay?"
"What the fuck?" You hear him right before he comes in the room, "Hey, you girls okay?" He looks you both over.
"Yeah....yeah...we're alright. Ben, I'm in this family now, I want you to tell me everything."
Author's Note: Y'all, I swear this blog is multifandom; Soldier Boy and Billy Butcher have me in a strong chokehold right now as my hyperfixations. This can be viewed as a part in what is becoming a series which so far includes Fuck Ya Right To Sleep, Love and Begging, Baking, Believing, & Button . Y/N in this one is a different Y/N from the Y/N in those, they're both the reader though lol; I would make OCs but no one reads those so you can pick and choose who you'd like to be lol. This might be a little short
Summary: You're the new supe in the 7 and the tension has been strong since you joined. When you and Ben act on it, does he accept it or start acting weird and defensive, accusing you of using your power to control him. What's his deal?
Warnings: language, innuendos, hinting to bow chinka wow wow having occured, Ben is scared~, Girl Dad! Ben
Pairing: Soldier Boy × Reader
"Ben! Ben! Wait up!!" You call, finally catching Ben in the halls of the tower. "You son of a bitch, you've been avoiding me for a week! What the Hell?" You catch up to him.
Ben closes his eyes and releases a half sigh before his face looks angry, he holds an index finger up as he speaks. "Don't call my mother a fucking bitch-"
"I never said the bitch was your mother"
"Touché. Yes, I have been fucking avoiding you. Let's go back to that," he turns on his heels to leave.
You groan and as your nose flares you use your powers to make him turn and start walking back to you.
"HEY! FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF WITH THIS SHI--WHAT'S THIS CALLED AGAIN?!" He shouts, trying to fight it.
"Hemokinesis."
"Hemoke-what?!" "Hemokinesis. Manipulation of blood to control someone like a puppet. Blood bending."
"I don't know what the fuck that is-WOE! PUT ME DOWN!"
"BULLSHIT! I hear you making Cleo Jones references so I know if you read comics then you watch anime muther fucker!" You had him hovering, you sat him down and now had him walking up the walls to stand on the ceiling and dangle upside down like a bat.
"OKAY FINE KATARA!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!" He asks through gritted teeth.
"I WANT TO TALK!!! You have been avoiding me and acting weird as fuck for weeks and avoiding me and I don't understand why!"
"Maybe because you used your freaky Katara shit to seduce me and control me so I'd fuck you!" He glares daggers at you and you make him come down to the floor. He takes the second to recompose himself after his blood had gone to his head and once he feels secure you make him drop to his hands and knees and crawl to a wall then make him continuously slam his head into it.
"Let's see if you can knock some sense into yourself; I know you love being on your knees. Beg me to stop," you had sauntered over in your red bottoms and kneeled in front of him. You look in his eyes as you speak and lick a streak of blood on his forehead. "Beg me to stop~," you chuckle cooly, a smirk forming on your dark ruby red lips. "Put me down~," you mock him, "you weren't saying that before~," you glance to his crotch, both remembering how he begged you to make his blood flow there to give him the most powerful erection he had ever had.
He doesn't beg you to stop, keeps crashing his head into the wall, there's a hole in the bricks. "We both know I didn't use my power to make you have sex with me, Ben. You acted like you liked me."
"WE AREN'T GOING TO WORK!! GO AHEAD!! Bash my skull in....," you watch him, he wasn't even fighting or resisting. You squint and make eye contact with him. "It wasn't about me was it? No, this is about your daughter"
His eyes widen for a split second before squinting back at you, "How'd you know?" He asks, nose snarling, teeth gritted.
"You remind me of my father. Get up, you look pathetic," you stand and offer him a hand, releasing his body from your control. He reluctantly accepts the gesture and gets back to his feet. "So, did you get some sense knocked into you?"
He nods, "a little.....fine.....we can talk....in private," he says and you nod in agreement and guide him to your room. He looks around. He takes in your bookshelf, "The Great Gatsby......quite the selection you've got there......," he looks around and takes everything in. You were a woman who enjoyed the finer things. You pour him a Manhattan.
"I enjoy the finer things, what the Hell does us fucking have to do with your daughter to have you avoiding me?"
"Just like a woman--," he stops himself and blinks mid sentence, swirling his Manhattan around, he didn't like the taste of that statement on his tongue and had to wash it down. If someone said that to Judith, he'd kill them. If someone said that to Y/N (other Y/N, Judith's mother), he'd kill them. You said he reminded you of your father, you're someone's daughter. He sips his beverage and thinks. "You're bright enough to figure it out, I'm sure.....I wasn't acting like I liked you. I'm avoiding you and all of this bullshit because if I didn't I would want to bring you home and I can't put her in danger like that."
"How old is she?"
"Six...."
"Really Ben? You think I'd use my powers on a six year old? I'm offended, that stings.....what's her name?"
"I ain't telling you that," he is defensive.
"So you like me, but, you are avoiding me because you want to bring me home to meet your daughter? That makes no sense, so you don't want me to meet her? You want us to just be no strings attached?"
He shakes his head no, looking at his drink. "No, no I do. I do want you to meet each other."
"Okay? Then bring her here to the tower?"
"Fuck no."
"Well if you want us to meet and I can't go to her and she can't come to me, how's that going to work? You would be with her, I would protect her and I'm sure she can defend herself being your daughter"
"She doesn't know she's a supe. We have worked so hard keeping her away from all of this fucking horseshit. The last time I brought her to the towers was a week after she was born and that was only because I had no choice and I was the only one to watch her.....She's safe as long as she's with me but the reason I can't bring her here is because I promised her mother that I'd keep her away from Firecracker"
"Firecracker specifically?" "Firecracker was her mother's sister--"
"What was the promise?"
"Promised not to let Firecracker touch her"
"I can help you keep that promise. Please Ben, I want this. I want us. I want to meet her," you had come over and we're rubbing his knee, gently pecking his lips.
"I have to discuss it with her other father"
"Oh?"
"Calm your pussy, I don't swing that fucking way. It's a long fucking story"
"Damn .....that a yes?"
"It's an I'll discuss it with him and let you know"
"That sounds wonderful. When-If-I meet her, I'll need to know her name?"
"........Judith....."
"That's pretty. A name for a woman of class. Does she prefer Judy?" He nods and you smile.
Author's Note: Okay, my plan for this one is super sweet and fluffy with a sprinkle of angst, sadness. Credit to @giraisol I got the divider thing above from her. Anything written in different colors are flashbacks or memories while the characters are telling the story. This can be considered a part two to Fuck Ya Right To Sleep if you would like, it might help some pieces make sense. Also, I am trying to describe Y/N as racially ambiguous as I can to the best of my ability so everyone can enjoy the story, I apologize if I mess up 🩷
Summary: Billy and Ben are baking with little Judy, your daughter, and Judy asks some uncomfortable questions for them. Billy and Ben tell her about you and how she came to be and then they double team Billy to ask him to get a dog
Pairing: Billy Butcher × Reader × Soldier Boy
Warnings: language, Billy and Ben co-parenting, pregnancy, labor, death, complicated relationships cuteness
"Oi, Hi there love," Billy smiles as he pushes himself off of the bench outside of Judy's school. He had shown up an hour early to wait on her to get out and pick her up. He hadn't seen her all week because it was quite a busy week of things that he, Ben, Hughie, and Aunt Judy work very hard to keep her sheltered from, so as usual, he stayed in the city while she stayed out in the lovely country home that he and Ben purchased when you were expecting. So far, it had been a safe haven. He can still remember Ben bitching and groaning about how ridiculous it was he couldn't buy it on his own like he could in his day, the astonishment of what the economy was that the two of them, along with Aunt Judy all had to pitch in. In the end, neither of them minded, you and unborn Judy and Terror were safe, and now it still kept Aunt Judy and Little Judy safe.
"Daddy!!" Judy lights up, as she always did seeing him and she runs, jumping up into his open arms. "Are you coming home tonight?" She asks him while kissing his cheek.
"Yes love, your Uncle is making me piss off of work for a few days," he smiles and pats her side as she sits on his arm and they walk to the car
"Uncle Hughie? William was mean today," she lays her head on his shoulder and he looks over at her. "No, Uncle M.M. How was li'le Willy mean love?" He places her into her car seat and buckles her in. "All day he kept doing things and when I told him to stop he kept saying, "I'm not doing nothing ~,"" she altered her voice and bobbled her head whilst making that face you would of a classic cartoon witch's grimace to mock Hughie's son as she explained. Billy chokes back a laugh as he walks around to the driver's seat and slides in. "What was he doin' love?" "He was putting glue stick in my hair during art time and he left me with all five babies when we played house and I wasn't even the momma!!"
"That li'le wanker! You have permission to kick him in the jewels next time"
"I'd love to, what are jewels?" "Just aim between the legs love," Billy smiles back at her in the mirror, "did your teacher help you get the glue out of your hair?"
She nods, "It was annoying...."
"I'm sorry love, Willy is a right cunt. Your teacher is a lovely woman though isn't she?" She nods and smiles. "Yes, I really like her! It's her birthday tomorrow!"
"Her birf'day, that's wonderful love, wha' do you say we bake her up some of Becca's cookies tonight?" Ofcourse, he told her stories about Becca.
"Yay!! Yes!! She would love it!" She cheers. "Daddy...."
He noticed the immediate change in her tone and demeanor. "Yes, what is it love?" He asks softly, gently, whatever this was, it was bothering her. "What's the ma't'er?"
"I can't do my homework......"
"Why is that swee'heart? You know you 'ave the 'hole family at your beck and call to 'elp....."
"I know but we haves' to makes' Mother's Day cards...."
"Oi......I'm sorry dear..... 'ow about this, you can make a card for Aunt Annie, Aunt Judy, and your teacher?"
"Okay! Ms Allyson?"
"Your teacher's sir name is Allyson?" He raises a brow, that's highly unusual. She giggles, "Noo~, that's her first name! She says we can call her that, her last name is hard"
He smiles behind his beard, "Wha' is it love?" "Peregoinio? P-Pereogoni?"
"Alright, alright, as long as you have her permission and are respectful you can call her Ms Allyson and yes, your mum would love if you made her a card"
"She would?" She tilts her head as she asks. "Oh she would insist on it love. You love Ms Allyson and she takes very good care of you, your mum would say--" "Are you gonna do the voice?" She asks excitedly, she always thought it was funny when either of her dad's did your voice. "Yes love, alrigh', your mum would say," Billy clears his throat to try to channel the best impression of you he could with that twang and drawl. "Your mum would say, "Darlin' Miss Allyson has more babies than all of us with all you youngins, I dang sure couldn't do it. I'll make her one too! I owe her for keepin' my Sweetheart safe for me!" "
"She would make Ms Allyson a card too?" Judy asks after laughing. "Ofcourse love, she would also bring her flowers"
"Can I bring her flowers?!" " 'Course you can dear"
"Yay!! Hey, momma sounds funny when you and Dad talk like her, where is she from? She doesn't sound like England or New York"
"She was from the Carolinas love," he answers as they pull into the yard and he helps her out of the car. He takes her hand to hold up the drive way as they walk inside.
"I saw that on the map!! That's far!! Can you tell me how I have one mom and two dads? Did you meet her there?"
"I suppose so love ....why all the questions now? No, I met her in the ci'y."
"Because you never talk about her. Why was she so far from home?" She looks up at him and he scoops her up to put her on his hip. "Originally she came to the ci'ty to find her sister and bring her 'ome"
"The city is giant, did she find her?"
"Well love, she foun'.....she foun' who used to be her sister, wasn'v' who she was lookin' for, I will talk about your mum, but, not about her sister. Deal?" He asks, patting her side and she nods. "Good girl," he places her down to stand as they enter and he closes the door and she goes into the kitchen.
"Dad! Daddy is staying a few days! We're gonna make Becca's cookies for Ms Allyson's birthday and he's gonna tell me about mum!!" Billy hears Judy explain to Ben and then he strolls into the room behind her.
"Woe~ slow the fuck down kiddo. Butcher is gonna tell you about your ma' huh?" Billy's eyes meet with Ben's as Ben rests his hand on top of Judy's head. "Why don't you go put on your little apron kiddo?" Ben asks her and she nods, running over to grab it from behind the door. "Dinner and homework first, table, now. Get to work."
Judy puts on her little apron and sits at the table. "My homework doesn't have to be done until Monday! I have to make three cards, Ms Allyson gave us all weekend!"
"Then start the first one then you only have one a day," Ben shrugs and reminds himself to take the harsh edge off of himself. To help he lights a joint in his pocket and leans down to kiss the top of her head. Then he makes eye contact with Billy who had started cooking actual dinner in the next room over from the dining room.
"Oi, where is Aunt Judy?" Billy asks, keeping his back turned on purpose.
"She went out on a date muther fucker don't try that avoiding the subject bullshit, why are we talking about Y/N? Why the fuck are we talking about her?!"
"Lower your bloody voice ya fucking cunt!--" Billy closes his eyes, turns towards Ben, takes a deep inhale and then steps nose to nose with Ben and takes a drag of the joint. "I'm tal'in about her because Judy asked and we bof' know we bloody well couldn't avoid it forever. So mate, either you're gonna 'elp me or you're gonna sit down, color and 'elp Judy make those cards for 'er 'omework or you can si' down and stay fuckin' quiet until you feel 'helpful"
Ben's nose snarls and his jaw clenches as the vein in his neck bulges and he wipes a hand over his face slowly. "Fine. Give me my damn reefer," he snatches his joint back. "So, what's the plan? Lie our asses off?"
"Treat the truth like--"
"Y/N..."
"I was going to say a bomb but yes, she was as fragile as one," Billy smiles just a little, but, Ben doesn't and Billy sighs and takes the time while he's making dinner to think of what to say to your daughter, to think of you. He tried to avoid it but he knew it was impossible not to.
"Hi, excuse me sir! Could you point me in the direction of the Vought towers please? This map ain't makin' a lick'a damn sense to me. It said it's supposed to be a hop skip and jump from that bar over yonder but I've been goin' in circles and I swear I'm 'bout as dizzy as my momma in Uncle Johnny's 'shine," you ran up to Billy Butcher, a complete stranger to you. Billy watched this in confusion, this woman running up to a stranger in the big apple like she's known him for ages. His brows furrow together in confusion, time stands still, she wasn't afraid of him, didn't hate him, she was trusting him? She was breathtaking too. She was trusting him, William Butcher? Why was she being so.....friendly?
"Sir? You ai'ght? You look stunned?" She looks at him in confusion and looks behind herself then back to him. Right, he's supposed to speak back. Speak Billy, he mentally scolds himself. "Oi, right. Sorry love. W-Where?" "Vought towers?" "Wha' in the world would you have to do affiliatin' with anything going on at Vought?"
"Pardon?" Her brows furrow in confusion, "Well, actually, my sister is in the 7 and I wonna' bring her home. I can see somethin' ain't right when I watch her on the news and stuff.....," Billy stares at her then it clicks to him. This woman's gorgeous hair shines red in the sunlight (she's not a ginger, she is brunette), he gets a good glimpse of her eyes and they're not the same color but they do have a ring of gray blue around the irises, the thick accent. "You're-your sister is Firecracker?" He asks and she nods, smiling fondly. "I ain't seen her in a hella' long time but I was hopin' that bein' back together might help'er realize that who she's been lately ain't who she is"
"Righ'......Vought is just down this block and then it's the big one with the giant 7 in the winda' lights.....," he points her, "Good luck with your sista' love"
"Thankya, thanks for bein' so nice and speakin' to me. Ere'body else has been throwing their nose up, speak ass mouth won't....assholes.....you thank' maybe we could exchange numbers? I'm Y/N by the way. Nice to meet'cha," she was smiling and offering him a handshake, she was keeping eye contact, still trusting him and did she say he was nice? "Butcher....Billy Butcher....sure," he shakes her hand and then they're exchanging numbers. "I'll talk to ya later shug," she waves and smiles as they part ways. She never made it into the towers and did infact talk to him alter. A few years later she saw the video of Firecracker that Vought tried their hardest to erase from the internet, the one exposing her from SAing that boy. Y/N took that very seriously, personally, it hurt her deeply and she vowed if she ever could face Firecracker again she'd "have her cooter aired out to dry and she'd skin it off herself"
Billy looked around, he was back in the kitchen of the country home. That was twelve years ago. He reminds himself to breathe, remembers you and your black skinny jeans and your Boys Like Girls T-shirt, boots that were just like his but smaller; he remembers your hair he used to love burying his face in and lets that sense of warmth and comfort wash over him as he wipes his face of the tears threatening to not fall but crash around him.
"Dinner is ready loves," he brings the food out with him, placing it out on the table. "Pu' away your drawing' swee'heart," he kisses the top of Judy's head.
"You were fucking crying. Knew this was a bad idea." Ben glares at him and he returns it before sitting down across from them. Dinner passes in a peaceful silence and they all move to the kitchen to bake.
"I wrote my questions!!" Judy passes Billy her paper where she had written her questions about you in crayons.
Questions that should be simple but aren't.
"Alrigh' love ......firs' question, how did you and Dad meet mummy? Who should go firs'?" He looks to Ben. "You met her first ...."
Billy nods and happily tells her the story he had just finished reliving before dinner. Carefully leaving out that Firecracker was your sister.
"What about you Dad?" She looks to Ben.
"I met her later, a few years later. I was getting lunch one day and saw her outside of the diner crying and against my better judgement--"
"What? What's that mean?" She asks him, not understanding the phrase, he looks at her and meets her eyes. "I mean....I saw her crying outside of the diner and I just had to ask her, I misspoke the first time, I had to ask her what she was crying about. Apparently it was because Billy Boy here was a fucking idiot again. She had confessed her feelings to him and told him that if he felt the same then that was his chance and his stupid fucking ass screamed at her that she was crazy to even think he could have feelings so she had left"
"You really did that?" She looks at Billy with eyes that show a hurt he never wanted to see in her eyes, that was what he did, hurt everyone. He nods, feeling the shame wash over him. "Why?" "I......I was scared my love.....don't worry, I realized I was a stupid cunt and your mum was a good woman and forgave me"
"Yeah, it was after that when we found out we had a rugrat on the way," Ben speaks.
"Me~"
"Yes you Judith Mallory Butcher," Billy chuckles, " 'reckon this leads to the next question abou' 'how you have two dads and one mum, dodnt' it?" He scratches his beard. "Oi....alrigh', so, as Ben mentioned it was after that we learned your mum was going to have a baby......it was wha' a week--"
"Two weeks, three days--," Ben corrects him
"Two weeks and three days later? Af'er they met, we bof' got a call on the tellie' from 'da 'hospital," Billy corrects his mistake and continues the story
"Butch-," Ben tries to stop him, worried she not be able to handle details. Billy holds a hand up to assure him that he's got it. He would leave out the detail of how he stole your pills before the fight and you meeting Ben and sleeping with him.
"Y/N!!! Y/N!!!" Billy turns to look at Soldier Boy running into the ER screaming your name. Did he actually look..... concerned? Worried? Scared? Ben?
"Y/N," he sees your bed and jogs over. "Wha' the bloody fuck all are you doing here?"
"I got called when they brought her in-" "I got called-" "Looks like me both got called muther fucker, does that really fucking matter right now? Why the fuck was she found out cold on a random fucking sidewalk?"
"Seizure." "Why the fucking fuck would she have a seizure?" Ben blinks and squints at him. Billy swallows, "she's pregnant"
"Pregnant-how the fuck is she pregnant, she's on the-"
"I stole 'em" "That's fucking twisted, that's sick"
"I know.....you know about her condition?" Billy looks to Ben who nods. "Yeah........I'll bring her some V," Ben starts to turn on his heels and leave and Billy snatches him back. "She can't take fucking V!" "It is possibly the only way she is going to survive!" "It would also be the fastest way to kill her! She's already having seizures again V would kill her within seconds!! She's already knockin' on 'eaven's bloody door!!!" "Then what the fuck do we do?!" Ben's jaw was clenching, as much as both of them despised the fact of it, they were both crying.
"We stay by 'er side until the bi'er bloody fuckin' end--"
"And we stay with the rugrat.....yeah...."
"What makes this one differen' for you?" Billy has to ask. "This one is different." Ben brushes past him to sit by you with him.
"Nex' one," he reads the page, this was the hard one that hurt the most. He and Ben share a glance and he begins answering.
"Yes love?" "Stop fucking calling me that, come to the hospital, she's in labor" "Now? She ain't due 'or ano'ver month!" Billy's feet were already running as he spoke before he could think. "Yeah well she's in fucking labor and she's not doing good, she's been here thirty minutes and has already seized once--you fucking muther fucker if she dies I'm going to rip your throat open with my bare fucking hands, got that?"
"Yeah yeah," Billy was only five minutes away in leisurely walking distance so he was there already having run from the bodega. They're interrupted by your screams nearby and both bolt to you. Ben holds your hand and Billy holds your other. It was awful, you were in so much pain and Billy knew looking in your eyes you weren't going to make it. Ben coached you to push, aggressively but it worked. Billy was taking the gentler approach of softly speaking sweet nothings, stroking your baby hairs off of your forehead with his thumb, kissing your forehead. As Judy finally entered the world she was blue, bluer than she should be. Ben's attention immediately bolts over to where the nurses and doctors were trying to save her. "Save my fucking daughter!" "We are doing all we can mister Soldier Boy sir!!" "All you can better save my daughter muther fucker!!!" He hurls the male nurse across the room and he lands on the receptionist desk. "Fucking male nurse, fucking woman's job. Save my daughter," he barks at the nurses
"Billy...." "Yes love? You did so well-" "Billy.... I'm tired....," he gulps, he could see the light draining from your eyes with every passing second. "Rest love.....," he kisses your head. "Name her after a stronger woman than me.... don't let Misty touch her"
"That isn't possible," he smiles and rubs your legs to soothe them, your legs and thighs were trembling. He pulls the thin sheets over you. "......I hope she turns out like you," you smile at him.
"You have got three seconds for me to see color that ain't fuckin blue or I'm gonna beat you so hard that James Dean's crash in Little Bastard will look like a walk through Central Park. Got that?" Across the room Ben had the doctor held up nose to nose with him but the lapels of his coat. "Y-Yes sir Mr Soldier Boy sir," as Ben places him to stand he literally defecates on himself. Billy hears Ben pleading with the child, you were delirious. He held your hand to his mouth as you slurred the words that you were tired and again he kisses your head. "Rest.....I......I love-"
"She's dying you stupid jewel juggling fuck, just say it," Ben tells him
"I love y---," Billy turns back to you and you were fighting, fighting again to keep your eyes open. With a deep breath, knowing once they closed this time that was it Billy reaches over and closes your eyes with his palms, "Rest, swee' dreams love.....," the beeping of the flat lining and a deep gasp of the baby's first breath followed by her cries filled the room at the same time.
An hour later he and Ben are alone in the room with the baby. Both refuse to admit that they're having a moment of weakness. They sit in silence, Ben holding the swaddled newborn because he was angry and blamed Billy for you being gone. They both knew hadn't gotten pregnant you were bargaining with time.
"What's her name?" Ben finally speaks. "Judith Mallory Butcher"
"Not bad.....Hi Judy," Ben gives the baby his finger and smiles. He looks at William. "You can hold her....it's not your fault. Why the fuck did she say not let Firecracker touch her?"
"Okay-that's enough of that." Ben says, he and Billy had mutually telepathically agreed they had both had enough and couldn't handle anymore.
"I was blue? For how long?" Judy asks curiously. "Too fucking long. 'Mere," Ben calls her over to his knee just needing to feel her breathing as if seeing it weren't enough. She walks over and climbs onto his knee as the front door opens
"Judy, how was the date love?" Billy welcomes her perfectly timed intrusion and hugs her
"It was absolutely lovely, he's such a wonderful gentleman. Oh, you're making Becca's cookies?"
"Yes! For Ms Allyson's birthday!! What did you do on the date?"
"I see. That is delightful oh- I got to meet his dog"
"He has a dog? Daddy!! Can we get a dog??"
"We have a dog love, Terror"
"Can we get another dog?" Ben asks
"Really? Are you a child?"
"I think another dog is a brilliant idea William." Aunt Judy joins them and then leans in to whisper, "it would give Terra' comp'ny on his way out and soften that pain for Judy"
"Alrigh' fine. I will think abou' it," Billy reluctantly tells them.
A week later, William Butcher, was in utter disbelief of himself as he now walked into the door of the house carrying a Chihuahua in the chest of his brief coat.
"Judith~!!" He hears her feet running down the hall and takes the dog out so she can see it.
"OH MY GOSH!!" She exclaims and takes the small dog in the pink tutu dress.
"Her name is Button," Billy smiles
"Hi Button, let's go meet Terror!!" She scampers off.
"That's not a puppy," Ben points out. "I'm well aware, she's a senior dog, this way, Terra' has a companion and she has comfort--"
"Yeah and when they both keel over, then what? What about Judy? It's gonna break her heart--"
"We will cross that bridge when it burns, I will then get her a younger dog. No worries. Let 'em enjoy this---Terra' do you like 'er boy?"
"He's kissing her!!" Judy giggles
"When I said can we have a dog I meant a real dog, now I'm the grandfather of a senior Chihuahua in a frilly dress, I need a fucking Manhattan, Judy I'm stepping out, kiss--"
Billy clears his throat and Ben tries not to roll his eyes, "Kiss? I meant to ask....," Judy happily comes over and pecks his cheek before going back to the dogs
Author's Note: Hi y'all. I am writing this while feeling like a zombie and I wanted to start with that, I also want to say I'm not British so I apologize I am writing the character to the best of my ability, and, I usually chicken out of posting any smut I bring myself to write so I'm also sorry if this awkward
Billy Butcher x F!Reader
Warnings: language, Billy being sad and having feelings of fear+worry, cyst on brain, migraines, language, sex, piv, possibly awkward writing of smut because I'm nervous about it and because of my migraine+exhaustion, age gap (Reader is 28), sweet undertones, Billy crying and crying during sex and after, Butcher steals something important, Hughie and Butcher bromance, 18+ this does have smut/mdni please
"Go check on her," M.M tells Hughie to check on you. He had sent you to lay down an hour before and was stern about it. He had entered full dad mode and wasn't accepting no for an answer, not having the physical strength to argue anyway you simply agreed and had gone to lay down.
Your exhaustion was blatantly obvious, you were yawning consistently all day and fighting to stay awake. The exhaustion showed in your eyes, how they were drooping closed and it was all you could do to fight them open and help the team. Ultimately it was one of the days you were rendered useless to them and in general. The pain from a migraine you had sense waking up this morning only made matters worse. You felt and looked like a zombie, if zombies could comprehend feeling pain. You woke up after eight this morning and before two M.M was scolding you and sending you to rest; for breakfast you had birth control and Excedrin and wished you had a RedBull to chase it, when you finally could eat through the day you had part of your leftover philly cheese steak sub and later a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It was right after the sandwich he sent you off and since then you really had been trying so damn hard to sleep because you wanted to, you needed to, your body was screaming at you to. Yet, here you were, who knows how many ASMR videos in, which usually helped, and nothing, the same body screaming at you to sleep wouldn't let you. You weren't tired because you didn't get proper rest, as of late your going to bed early and sleep schedule had been fucked but you despite going to sleep later woke up later and still got your 7-8 hours give or take.
"Y/N.....," you hear the door open and even more light slips into the room. "Hey, MM sent me to check on you.....," you were hidden completely under the blankets and stuck your finger out to flip him the bird. "Yes ma'am," he caught the hint and closes the door and returning to the team in the office.
"Well--," MM asks him, he starts to speak to answer when the office door closes softly behind him and he turns to see Billy.
" 'ow is she gents?" He walks over to them, his boots sounding on the floor
"She flipped me off, she's buried under the blankets--," Hughie answers
"I sent her to bed about an hour ago......she's not sleeping?" He asks Hughie who shakes his head
Billy sighs, "Thanks gents, now get the 'ell out'a 'ere, you too," he looks to Kimiko
"You kicking us out man?"
"Yes, it would appear so. Go see Janine and Annie, yeah? Kimiko, go buy some new pain' for ye' nails, yeah?" He holds up a twenty between his fingers that she happily takes
"Yeah, alright man....let me know how Y/N is doing later," MM agrees as he grabs his coat and he and Hughie leave. He stops shy of the office door, "what's that?" He points to the bags Billy is carrying.
"It's nuffin', fuck off will ya?"
"Why are you so eager to get rid of us?" MM asks, somewhat defensively.
Billy rolls his eyes, "what? Woul' ya like ter stay 'n 'ear me fuck 'er to sleep?"
"Absolutely the fuck not. Later man," MM grabs Hughie's shoulder, pushing them both out of the door, "let's go see Annie and the baby"
"Yeah.....me too Hughie....me too, give the Mrs and the li'le one my love"
"Will do," Hughie smiles and leaves with MM
When the office room clears out Billy lets his head fall for a moment and then releases a sigh, his knuckles turn white as his grip tightens around the handles on the bag and he wills himself to go to the room you're in trying to rest.
Once again more light seeps into the room, Billy didn't bother knocking because it would cause more noise.
"Oi, playin' 'ide and seek are ya?"
"Oi, listen here 'Arry Pot'a whatever Honeydukes bullshit you're tryna sell me, I ain't in the mood, take your Fizzy Whizbees and shove 'em or I'll grab you by your Curly Wurly's and punch you in the Camel Balls"
"Feelin' like dog shite and still mock'n me, making 'Arry Pot'a references and you don' even have 'da proper' str'enf' ter hold up yer 'ead or not sound like cornbread yer'self," Billy smiles seeing you still fight to have wits about you and to be witty even feeling so weak and defeated. He almost lets a small chuckle out when you flip him the bird and mumble "Fuck you, kiss my cornbread ass"
"That is the plan my love," he closes the door to stop that light from seeping in and then walks to the window. He sits the bag down in the chair by the window and reaches into it. The room becomes darker and you glance over to see he had gotten a dark gray fabric to cover it like curtains, making the room as black as it could be without the walls being painted. You sigh in relief, "Oh thankyou Jesus," you say in a soft breath.
"Far from him love...."
"Ain't we fuckin' all," you muster a soft laugh, "I can still thank him"
"Right good point ya got there," he smiles and slowly comes over to the bed, kneeling beside it where your head sticks out from under the blankets. He strokes the hairs on your forehead with his thumb, his hand gently resting on your head. "Light is hurtin' you more in'nit?" You nod.
"Billy, I ain't dyin', it's the same old shit just a different day"
"Well I do believe you told me to fuck you and kiss your arse," he pushes himself to stand
"Billy.....like you said, I can't even hold my head up....I am so tired and it hurts so bad I want to cry," he sees the tears brimming your eyes, "I can't even cry, I'm too tired to cry....," you literally were, you had no strength, "I want to sleep and I can't.....I need to sleep and I'm trying I just can't ....," you explain and watch him walk over to the Excedrins and grab two, placing them in your hand before going back to the bag and giving you a pink Wild Berry Red Bull.
"To wash 'er down, yeah?" You graciously accept the gift, taking the pills and some sips of the drink and he takes it once you've enjoyed half of it he takes it and places it on the table with the pills.
"I know love, I know you like to par'icipa' yeah, but, this time, just lie down there and be my pillow princess, yeah?" He asks, placing a finger under your chin as he gets in the bed, sitting on your side. "I 'eard this old wives tell, if ya fuck a woman right, she either gets really ditzy or she gets really sleepy, 'alls right ter sleep," he smirks as he says it and slides his trench coat off, tossing it on the floor as he lays down next to you, looking in your eyes. "Wat' do ya say love?"
"Okay...can't hurt, but, I ain't movin'.....," you try to smile and he kisses your forehead and taps your thigh, "lie on your back love"
You comply, turning from laying on your tummy to your back, he waits letting you get comfy, "please just don't make my head move too much"
"Yes love, don't worry, I plan on going easy," he says as you get situated he unbuttons his Hawaiian shirt and lets it fall to the foot of the bed and he crawls over you and brings his hand behind your neck to bring your lips to his. The kiss isn't like when you and Billy usually go at it like wild animals, hot, heavy, passionate. It's soft, gentle.
You close your eyes and kiss him back as his hands slip to slide your shirt off over your head.
His lips move to your neck as he buried his face in it and you hum and gently reach to grip his hair, he moved back to kissing your lips ever so gently, it wasn't so gentle that it was a wisp of a peck, it was still incredibly sensual and he was lingering. You almost think for a second you feel his hand on behind your neck shake and his lips quiver but think nothing of it when he proceeds.
His hand on your neck slides down your back and unhooks your bra and he slips it off of you, only then did his lips move from yours. You're thankful so you could breathe but also he was thankful your eyes were closed. It gave him a second to quickly wipe his face on the back of his hand before bringing his thumbs to tease your nipples just how you liked, he brought his head down to suck one as he flicked and slapped the other, listening to your soft moans.
"Ya know I love t' 'ear your pret'y lit'le sounds for me love, love to 'ear you get loud for me when we are go'in wild yeah, but today, you don't 'ave to. I'm 'appy just see'in' the pleasure on your face," he smiles and kisses you again when moans begin to slip from your lips, your eyes remain closed
Your mouth falls open into an o when his hand slips grips your thighs and parts your legs and his hand slips between them, then two thick fingers slip into your wet folds and he began pumping them in and out agonizingly slow when you whimper. He knew that was a sign you didn't like that. "I'm 'orry love," he quickens the pace and your head falling back tells him that is much better. He chuckles softly and begins rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb.
"Oh love, you really are ti'erd aren't you? Ya usual'ly love to torture me 'till I'm leakin', ridin' on me thigh before ye' even let me stick me dick in ya...yer' legs are shakin'," he stops, removing his fingers from your pussy, he kisses your thighs before slipping his pants and boxers down to free himself from the confides of his clothes and leans back over you.
He holds his weight on one arm and lines himself up with the other, he slowly, gently sinks in and bottoms out with a grunt. "So fu'ing warm love...," he moves slowly, easy thrusts, only easy thrusts, keeping his promises to you. "It's workin' love," he smiles down at your face.
"Stay awake a bit longer," he instructs gently.
"Wait," you tell him softly and he stops, "everything al'ight love?" His brows furrow as he's worried he's making the pain in your skull worse. You nod and move into downward dog, one of your favorite positions. Honestly, you weren't a huge fan of missionary.
"Harder," you give the best smirk you can muster in your current condition, he's biting his lip at your ass and cunt on full display for him.
"Love-"
"Billy please~," you whimper and he nods, ramming himself into you, he chuckles at the sounds that escape you, a loud groan. He leans over your back to whisper in your ear, "you are a 'errible pillow princess you are," he smirks, thrusts hard but not rough and you giggle, you're almost drooling, the sleepiness was taking over but the pain was no longer at the forefront of your mind, your head was still killing you but he was making you feel so good you could at least try to not think about it
"Barely awake and still so 'ilthy you are," when you're not paying attention he wipes another tear threatening to slip so you don't notice and continues to pound you, hard like you want but careful not to hurt you as promised. You know he's close when he starts grunting but he keeps the steady rhythm he had going as he reaches around to your clit and breast. He finishes deep in you and slowly pulls out, laying your sleepy body down and kissing your head.
"I'm going to clean up yeah?" He goes to fetch a warm wash cloth to clean you up and then tucks you in. It worked, you were sleeping peacefully, out like a light. "Oi, almos' forgo', dint' I?" He smirks and leans over, kissing your ass. "Sweet dreams love," he grabs one last thing from the bag he had brought and looks at you then grabs his shirt and jacket to redress himself. He stops, stares at you for he didn't know how long and then grabs the birth control pills from the table and sticks them in his boot. His trench coat pocket felt too easy, too obvious.
Then to let you sleep he quietly leaves the room and goes to the office, "Oi, they let ya ou' alrea'y?" He smiles seeing Hughie come in with Annie and the baby. "Wel'ome lit'le bloke," he greets the child.
"Tell him," Hughie says excitedly nudging Annie who rolls her eyes. "Okay," she smiles and kisses Hughie.
"Ge' a room will ya?"
"You're fucking crying," she says shocked
"No I ain't!" His outburst made the new baby wail and he kneels down on the floor to soothe it, "uh....no no.....don't cry uh...."
"His names William," Hughie blurts out as if he'd been holding it in, Billy looks over his shoulder at him and he stands
"Excuse us yeah?" He yanks Hughie out into the hall with him, "I'm alrea'y cryin' and you go and name your boy after me!?" He shoves Hughie who laughs, "Yeah......how's Y/N?"
"Sleep'n......she's getting worse......."
"Listen Billy....Butcher-.....she's not.....she's not dying.....the doctor said the cyst wasn't anything to worry about......Hey, come'er," the moment had finally come, Hughie was pulling Billy Butcher's head in to hold it as he sobs, "I've got you man, I gotcha," he pats his back
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