Loosely based on chapter 19 of What a Sanctuary (for the sceleratus)
Individual shots below and a brief behaviour dive that might spoil a bit of Harry’s What a Sanctuary characterization
I think you’d be hard pressed to find a severitus Harry more touch-starved and desperate than the one I’ve got in What a Series …
This last shot here where Harry’s pinching his arms is a demonstration of how ashamed he is of himself; at this point in the series he really wants to belong with Snape, to Snape (but he doesn’t outright use the words “son” or “adopted child” because he’s THAT ashamed, he won’t even verbalize his desire properly in his own thoughts).
He knows that Snape cared about him but isn’t comfortable with their relationship being anything more than a vague “I care about you, you depend on me, let’s not put a label on it, eh?” (again, no direct words like “family”, not even “guardian” or “ward”) .
So Harry punishes himself for thinking such hopeful, pitiful thoughts; he usually presses his fists hard into his stomach but if there’s anyone else near to notice that, he’ll bite the inside of his cheek or pinch himself.
I don’t think I’ll have his behaviour increase in severity ; he has a terrible fear of knives and knows that’d leave too obvious of a trace on his body, but until Snape eventually finds out about this (will he? I haven’t decided if or how), Harry’s going to keep getting eaten alive by his shame
Actually, I’ll definitely have Snape find out and help him through it… If there’s anything someone will take from my fic, I hope it’s that you don’t have to be a perfect victim and good tempered all the time to deserve love and healing . That’s what everyone deserves
