Hey, how’ve you been lately? I binged your fic The Choice from the False Apex series last night, finished the whole thing in one go, and I’m obsessed with it! You’re such an amazing writer! It got me thinking, y’know? In my opinion, all those awkward, overthinking people should just be locked in a room you can’t get out of until you say a hundred honest things. Once there’s nowhere left to run, no matter if you’re scared or crying, you just gotta spill everything—your love, hate, jealousy, admiration, anxiety, all of it. Lay your whole heart out raw in front of the person you love, even if you’re shaking the whole time you’re speaking your truth. Maybe even after all that, you still can’t fix everything just by talking, but one thing becomes crystal clear, my heart loved you, and it’ll keep loving you forever. Love isn’t some ideology, it doesn’t play by logic either. Let your heart decide the stuff words can’t explain! That’s why I started crying when I saw those two boys finally their bond together. I can’t believe I only found your writing now, anyway, I’m totally in love with your work, and I can’t wait for more from you!
Good morning/afternoon/evening, anon!
That's actually such an interesting concept you've thought up; like imagine these guys or any two people (or more, for added angst) being locked up and having to spill their guts no matter how gut wrenching it gets. If you've got someone with feelings, fears, or trauma that they've repressed for however long, this might feel a bit like a torture chamber though.
(Not me instantly thinking up how different people would respond under these circumstances...)
It makes my heart so happy to hear the story inspired a reaction in you, especially such an emotional one. The Debrief will hopefully feel like a worthy continuation of the story if you ever decide to pick that up. Thank you so much for reading my brainworms, and for sharing your thoughts with me. It really made my morning finding this in my inbox, and I'll probably be spending most of my time at the office thinking about the Torture Chamber of Truth haha!
max had lando flying on his private jet even after Everything in 2024. he was grinning and getting tossed around by max in the media pen, happy to be the loser, happy to be told the championship would be his one day. the lion literally had the lamb as a feast and lando waited under the dagger against his throat EAGERLY!! that boy was under that dutchman's wicked wicked spells ... norstappen is the f1 yaoi diamond that yall walk away from ...
online numbers can really fuck you up when it comes to your creative work because you're sharing something you worked on with all your heart but it's very important to remember there's actual people behind those numbers. even if it's 1. that's one whole actual person. that's a human being who said "haha nice". that's a connection with a REAL person with a REAL life and REAL thoughts and feelings and experiences. like. damn. that should mean something
Max Verstappen & Lando Norris | rated: T | chapter wc: 3.478
Story summary: Max sneezes and turns into a meerkat. Yeah, he isn't happy about it either. Lando finds him while out on a jog, and things just get worse from there.
Chapter summary: Oscar has concerns, Alex has a cat carrier, and Lando has the smartest meerkat in the world. His name is Max, by the way.
Author's Note: I swear this story now consumes my every waking moment. I have watched an incredible amount of meerkat videos this weekend. Did nothing but laundry and writing this, today. I've giggled at my own ideas for the story multiple times. Please send help.
Chapter 1 found here!
Enjoy!
(under the cut)
Chapter 2: Sentry
Lando:
<CUTE.jpg>
look what i found on my morning run!!
Carlos:
no, no why?
Oscar:
Is that a meerkat?
why do you have a meerkat?
George:
You're joking.
Lando:
:D
nop
found it down by the boats
dog was chasing it >:(
George:
Right. Take it back, Lando.
Alex:
Oooh that's cute! Are you keeping it?
George:
Stop encouraging him. It probably came from the Gardens. Take it back.
Alex:
There's no meerkats at the Gardens.
Have you thought of a name yet? Is it a boy or a girl?
Lando:
how can I tell?
Alex:
<meerkatimage.jpg>
The girls have several nips for the pups!!
Oscar:
Okay, but have we considered it could have rabies?
Or fleas?
Lando?
Carlos:
Lando?
George:
Really, Oscar?
Oscar:
Just saying. Might want to be careful checking for nipples on that thing.
George:
Can one of you please go check Lando isn't getting attacked by a rabid meerkat?
Lando peered into the box, frowning slightly. The meerkat had huddled into a corner and stayed there, no longer making any noises. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not.
His phone buzzed on the table and he saw the meerkat twitch, rising up slightly, then coming back down again as if it wasn't sure what it was doing.
That definitely didn't seem like a good sign.
"Hey, little buddy," he said softly, reaching slowly into the box, trying not to startle the animal. "You good?"
The meerkat took one look at him, and then shifted, turning around in what seemed to Lando a pretty pointed way, putting his back to him. He blinked. "Okay, wow," he muttered, "bit grumpy, ey?"
That got a reaction, as the meerkat sat up and looked around, chittering briefly. Lando couldn't help a grin as he held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay! I'll leave you alone then. Or…" He thought for a second. "Hey, think you could stand up real quick? I want to see something."
The meerkat stared at him a moment longer, then turned away again, settling in while facing the corner of the box.
Lando shook his head, still smiling slightly. "Got a bit of a personality on you, I guess. Dunno if that's normal for meerkats. Might have to look into-"
He broke off as the downstairs doorbell sounded. In the box, the meerkat jumped to attention, whipping around to face the direction of the hallway, letting out soft warning sounds as it rose onto it's back legs.
"It's fine, it's the door. Please… uh. Stay," Lando said somewhat dubiously, glancing back at the box as he hurried to the hall to check the intercom. He hoped the meerkat would stay in the box. If it got out and ran, he might never find it again.
"Yes!" he called the moment he hit the intercom for the downstairs entry. He peered at the camera. "Osc? What're you-"
Even on the tiny colorless camera view, Oscar looked unimpressed with having to do housecalls at ass o'clock in the morning. "Hi. A meerkat, Lando? Really? Let me in."
Lando snorted but buzzed Oscar in anyway, quickly propping the front door to his apartment open with a shoe so he could get back to the dining room table where he'd left his meerkat.
"It's just Osc," he explained to the still alerting animal, though he wasn't sure why. "He's my teammate. He's good people, you know? He's not like, a threat."
He watched, bemused, as the meerkat slowly sat back down, the distressed little sounds it had been emitting now cutting off. Like it… responded to the context? That couldn't be right. Could it?
"Good, that's good," he added regardless, keeping his voice soothing as he heard the front door close in the hallway behind him. "You're being really good."
"So you found a meerkat?" Oscar stopped a few steps away, craning his neck to try and see inside the box on the table. "Is it in the box?"
Suddenly, the meerkat started chittering again in clear agitation and Lando could have sworn the look it was giving him was accusatory. He blinked. "What?"
The meerkat barked, and Lando jumped a little at the sound, automatically holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "Okay, okay! Calm down! Geez!" He blew out a breath and turned to Oscar. "I don't know what I did mate, he was fine a second ago."
One of Oscar's eyebrows rose an impressive distance towards his hairline. "Right," was all he said, before inching closer to peer into the box where the meerkat, which had trailed off into softer rumbling sounds like it was muttering under its breath, now fell silent and looked up at Oscar.
There was a bit of a stare-off for a moment, then Oscar looked at Lando. "And you found it down by the harbor, you said?"
"Uh huh," Lando said with a nod as he leaned in by Oscar's side to look at the meerkat again, too. "It got chased by a dog and got stuck up a tree. I thought it was a kitten, but, well. It isn't. So."
Oscar looked at the meerkat again. It looked back at him with remarkable stoicism. "It definitely isn't, no."
For a long moment, nothing happened, then Oscar sighed and straightened up. "Have you called a vet-"
"I could call him Sentry," Lando said at the same time, having peeked at the meerkat's belly as best he could while it had stood up alerting, and seeing no sign of extra nipples. He straightened up too, grinning at Oscar. "Because he stands up and makes noises when there's danger, you know? Like a little guard."
"Lando-" Oscar began, though he got momentarily sidetracked by the meerkat making another loud barking noise in the box. As they both looked into the box, the meerkat shook itself and seemed to glare at Lando.
"Pretty expressive, for a meerkat," Oscar remarked, before heaving another sigh. "Okay, forget the name. Have you called a vet?"
Lando blinked as he straightened up. "Uh. No? He isn't hurt. You're not hurt, are you?" He eyed the meerkat, which chittered again but somewhat less aggressively now than it had a moment ago. Satisfied, Lando smiled at Oscar. "See? Not hurt."
Oscar rubbed a hand over his face and stepped back from the table. "Lando, this is a wild animal. You have no idea where it came from. It could have diseases, like rabies."
The meerkat barked, but Oscar ignored it. "You should take it to a zoo. The Gardens, maybe. They have trained-"
He cut off as inside the box, the meerkat produced a screech that spoke directly to the hindbrain of both men in the room: danger.
Lando's attention whipped back to the meerkat immediately, and seeing the meerkat bop up and down in obvious distress, he reached into the box on instinct, even as Oscar groaned "no, don't touch it!". "Hey, hey, it's okay, it's… ow! Hey!"
The meerkat scrambled up Lando's arm, scrabbling at his skin for grip and then settling on his shoulder. Lando stood stock-still for a moment, trying to process having a wild animal climbing him like a tree for a second time today, when he felt little paws slide carefully around him. One over his forehead, one across the back of his neck, and then a tiny, warm body pressed into the side of his neck.
"Uh," was all he managed, as he felt the trembling in the meerkat's warm weight against him. There was a tiny, soft chitter, and Lando could just feel himself melt in real time, and this was just ridiculous, wasn't it? This was a wild animal, Oscar was right, it needed help Lando couldn't provide, but here it was, holding on to Lando like it was its safe space.
"He's shivering, Osc," he said, with feeling, to Oscar who had backed up several steps the moment the meerkat had made its mad dash for freedom from the box. "I think you upset him. He doesn't want to go to the zoo."
Oscar, who didn't have a tiny furry animal clutching at his face like they imprinted on him, shook his head. "It's a meerkat," he pointed out. "It doesn't have wants. It has fleas, probably. And ticks, and rabies. Put it back in the box before it bites you."
Lando, who was reaching carefully for the meerkat to pet its back, halted, lowering his arm slightly. "He's not going to-"
He cut off as Oscar pointed at him. At his arm, specifically. He looked, seeing the scratches running up his forearm, already turning pink at the edges. On his other arm, a very thin dark line ran over his bicep where the meerkat had scratched him earlier, trying to get from the tree to Lando's shoulder.
"Oh," he said, lowering both his arms.
"Yeah," Oscar agreed. "Oh."
On his shoulder, the meerkat shifted and then Lando felt it stick its nose into his hair like it was nuzzling there. Every fiber of his protective pet-dad potential fired at once, and he gave Oscar an imploring look. "Okay, but. He doesn't have rabies. He's not… wild wild. Look at him! There's no…" he motioned vaguely in the direction of his shoulder, trying to think of what rabies might look like before losing steam and lamely finishing: "foam?"
Oscar just gave him a look that Lando knew to mean the man was just waiting for him to exhaust his arguments on his own time.
Lando sighed. "We can get him checked out," he said after a beat, trying his best to ignore the soft chitter that originated from the meerkat still clinging to his head. "But I won't let them keep him! He doesn't want to go, Osc."
Oscar sighed a long-suffering sigh, and then threw up his hands. "Okay, fine. But let's not try the Gardens then. They won't let you leave with a meerkat." He fell silent for a moment, trying to think. "Call Alex, maybe? He knows about animals."
"You're from Australia," Lando huffed even as he hunted around for his phone and moved to grab it from the table. The meerkat shifted with his movements, making no attempt at getting away. "Shouldn't you know about wild animals?"
"I know they come with rabies," Oscar pointed out, eyebrows rising again, and Lando hurried to ignore several missed messages and phone call notifications to tap to Alex Albon's contact info instead. When he tapped the call button and lifted the phone, he had to shift to the ear not currently hidden behind a warm, furry body. The thought made him smile, and he turned away from Oscar so he wouldn't get an earful about getting too attached.
The phone rang only once, like Alex had been sat beside it hoping Lando would call. "Is it still doing the standing up thing?"
Lando felt himself grin in response to the near-breathless enthusiasm in Alex' voice. "Hi to you too, mate."
"Yes, hi. Is it? That's alerting. Especially if like, he makes these little sounds… Lily looked up a video of these meerkat sounds, they have a whole system! They-"
Alex cut off and Lando heard a murmur, then a bit of static as he was seemingly put on speaker. "Lando?" he heard Lily call out. "I'll have Alex send you the video! You should watch it, it's very educational."
Lando felt himself grin wider. "Yeah? He does make sounds," he said, trying to turn his head to look at his meerkat from the corner of his eye. "Sometimes it's soft, but he also barks, it's almost like a dog's bark. I think he does that when he's upset."
"It's a he? You checked?" Alex asked, even as Lando's attention got pulled by Oscar shifting back into his line of sight, to mouth 'vet! ask him about the vet!' at him.
"Oh, yeah, uh. Yes, I think it's a he but hey, look, Oscar thinks I need to get him checked for…" 'RABIES!' Oscar mouthed, but Lando pointedly looked away before continuing: "fleas and things. The meerkat, I mean. Not Oscar. I'm sure he gets regular flea checks done by his girlfriend."
Oscar groaned, even as Alex laughed. Lando felt a bit better then, about Oscar forcing the vet on him and Sentry. "Do you have a number for a vet? I want one that won't lock up my… the meerkat."
Alex didn't hesitate. "Oh yeah, I'll give you a number. He's great, I know he does exotic pets. Maybe he can get you a pet passport for the EU, but you might need to tap into your WDC bonus for that."
It was Lando's turn to laugh. "Yeah, no problem. Thanks, mate."
Alex hummed, sounding close by all of a sudden. "Done. Hey, can I come see the meerkat?"
Lando was already nodding when he saw movement from Oscar, who had been inching closer, leaning in to hear the conversation better. Who was now shaking his head vehemently, mouthing 'NO! IT MIGHT HAVE RABIES!' while motioning at the meerkat still perched on Lando's shoulder.
Lando took in Oscar's full body 'NO' and sighed. "Let me get him checked out first, yeah? Oscar's worried he might have something." He paused. "I think he's fine. But. You know."
"Responsible," Alex said approvingly, though Lando could hear the grin in it. "Do you have a cat carrier or something?"
Lando paused. "Uh. No. I have a box?"
"Animals go crazy when you take them to the vet, mate. You need something better than a box!"
"Jesus," Lando muttered, realizing this was getting a bit bigger than he had anticipated. He thought of pet owners that he knew lived near his building. "I'm pretty sure Charles doesn't own one, he carries that dog everywhere on his arm. Max, maybe. He has-"
He cut off as the meerkat on his shoulder had suddenly gone rigid, and then started chittering loudly, a claw pulling on one of Lando's curls, making him flinch. "Ow! Ouch! What? I- Alex, I've got to go, sorry! Bye!"
He hung up quickly, tossing his phone on the table and reaching for the meerkat with both hands, grabbing it off his shoulder. Oscar was already moving in, probably against his better judgment, ready to help wrestle the meerkat into submission.
But it had already gone quiet again, and stood up in the palm of Lando's hand, staring at him like it was trying to tell him something.
"What?" Lando said, despairingly. He lifted his free hand to his head, touching lightly where it smarted from the hair pull. "Jesus," he said for the second time in as many minutes. "You nearly tore my hair out, mate. What the hell was that?"
It chittered softly now, and Lando sighed. "Okay, well. Just… don't do it again." He looked at Oscar. "We need a carrier. We could ask Max, he lives like right-"
Again, the meerkat chittered loudly, bopping up and down in the cusp of Lando's palm. Lando blinked. He kept his eyes on the meerkat as he said, slowly: "Or we could try Charles."
The meerkat shook itself, and sat down heavily, or at least what had to pass for heavily, with all its barely half a kilogram of weight. Oscar came closer again too, eyes trained on the meerkat. "Or… Max."
The meerkat popped back up and chittered, head swivelling to look from Oscar to Lando and back. It bopped up and down again.
Lando looked at Oscar, who glanced at him. Then, with seemingly great reluctance, Oscar conceded: "It seems to like the name Max."
"Maybe that's what he's called?" Lando ventured, before looking back at the meerkat. "Is that your name? Max?"
Instead of chittering again, the meerkat simply bopped up and down. Both Lando and Oscar stared at it for a moment, struck silent by this new development. Then, Lando beamed, feeling oddly like a proud parent. "He understood us, Osc! His name's Max!"
"Right," Oscar said, though he didn't sound wholly convinced. "It's a meerkat, Lando."
"Yes, I know, but look!" Lando said, holding the meerkat up in his palm like a trophy. "Max."
The meerkat bopped up and down obligingly, then stared at Oscar, who sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "Let's just get-"
The doorbell went off, loudly. Not the downstairs intercom, but the actual doorbell, and all heads turned in the direction of the hallway. The meerkat started its way back up Lando's arm, but he grabbed it quickly and looked at Oscar.
"You hold him," he said, holding out the meerkat to his teammate.
Who promptly shook his head. "No, Lando. I don't want to get-"
"He won't hurt you! Come on, I don't know who's at the door!" He shoved the meerkat at Oscar, who scrambled to hold out his hands and take hold of it before it could fall and sprint off.
Lando hurried to the door, kicking aside a pair of shoes he nearly tripped over, and opened it to find Alex grinning at him, holding up an empty cat carrier. Behind him, Lily poked her head around, beaming brightly. "You needed a cat carrier?"
Lando laughed, opening the door wider. "Yeah, thanks! Want to come see?"
Both Alex and Lily were inside with the door closed behind them in approximately half a second, and Lando chuckled as he took them along to the dining room. "Just stay back, yeah? I'm sure he's fine, but Oscar thinks…"
He trailed off as he walked back in to find Oscar standing with his hands out, Max sat in them with his back towards Oscar as if making some sort of unintentionally adorable point.
"Is he… ignoring you?" he asked, walking over quickly as behind him, Alex made a soft, excitable 'ieee!' sound, and Lily gasped.
Oscar looked like he regretted getting out of bed that morning. "It's a meerkat, Lando," he said again, with great restraint.
Lando held up his own hands and the meerkat got up, sniffed, put it's tail in the air and then tiptoed over into Lando's palm instead, putting a little paw on top of Lando's turned up thumb and then surveying the newcomers.
Lando beamed proudly and held him up, letting Alex and Lily look at him properly. "His name is Max!"
"Oooh," Lily said, sighing happily.
Alex snort-laughed. "Max? You named him Max? You don't think that's taking your cru-"
"Shut. Up." Lando cut over Alex so efficiently that the entire room fell silent for a beat, before Alex laughed again, unbothered. Lando blew out a breath. "He named himself. I tried Sentry first."
As if to prove his dislike for the name once again, the meerkat barked and shook itself. Then it turned its head to look at Lando, almost as if waiting. Lando smiled. "Max?"
The meerkat bopped up and down not once, but twice, and then stood up tall and proud, paw still on Lando's thumb as it looked back at Alex and Lily.
"Can't argue with that," Alex said with a shrug. Then he held up the carrier he was still holding. "Anyway, I got you this. We have more, so you can just keep it for as long as you need it."
"Which won't be long, hopefully," Oscar muttered somewhere off to Lando's left. Lando ignored him and watched as Alex put the carrier on the table, opening the little door.
"Now," Alex started, "most of our cats go a bit crazy when you try to put them in. It's like they can smell you're going to like, take them somewhere against their will. I don't know what a meerkat will do, but probably he won't like…"
He trailed off as the meerkat chittered softly a few times, like it was muttering under its breath again, then slumped briefly. Finally, it drew itself back up, and then jumped from Lando's hand down to the table, causing Lily to gasp.
It walked straight into the carrier and settled down in it, curling up like it was about to go to sleep.
Lando stared at the carrier for a moment, then looked up to find Alex and Lily both watching him with matching expressions of delight, while Oscar was pinching the bridge of his nose, looking pained instead.
He looked back at Max, settled in, tail curling around himself.
"Good boy," he murmured somewhat helplessly as he closed the carrier's front grille.
Inside the carrier, Max the meerkat twitched.
George:
Has anyone heard from Lando?
It's been a few hours, I'm just wondering if he's alive?
Oscar:
He's alive. So is the meerkat. It should be taken to the zoo and Lando needs a rabies shot
Apparently the zoo is an affront to meerkats now so we're taking it to a vet instead
Lando:
HIS NAME IS MAX
George:
Max? You named him Max?
Alex:
<popcorn.gif>
Max Verstappen & Lando Norris | rated: T | wc: 2.215
Summary: Max sneezes and turns into a meerkat. Yeah, he isn't happy about it either. Lando finds him while out on a jog, and things just get worse from there.
Author's Note: Had a random brainfart yesterday, and am already deep into writing the second chapter of this craziness. Figured I could share the first chapter and see if anyone shares the vision. This is a deeply unserious fic, please forgive my attempts at humor.
Enjoy!
(under the cut)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a truly unremarkable Tuesday morning when it happened.
Having gotten up just minutes before, four time Formula One Drivers' Champion and devoted cat dad Max Verstappen stepped out onto his Monaco apartment's balcony, yawning as he went to check on the cat proofing. He held back his bengals with his foot before sliding the glass door closed, and scratched at his bare chest as he shuffled to the far corner to check his cats weren't preparing an escape attempt, running his hand lightly over the mesh that ran all around his balcony, top to bottom.
He was about to check the other corner, the one with the poor potted plant that his cats favored when they were being destructive, when out of nowhere, he sneezed.
Not a polite little sneeze, mind you. But a very sudden, very loud "AT-CHOO!" that came with a full-body twitch like he'd been electrocuted. His eyes squeezed shut, his hand flailing as he tried to lift it to his face in a knee-jerk attempt at covering his nose and mouth.
He blinked his eyes open, feeling a shiver pass through him at the sheer shock of it all - and then blinked again.
It was dark, and something pressed against his face, and for one heart-stopping second his still sleep foggy mind presented 'I've been blindfolded! Someone is trying to kidnap me!' as a completely plausible explanation, and he flailed.
He yelled, shoving out his arms and scrambling forward, trying to get away- and then the cloth fell away and he was blinking into the pale morning light again. He whipped around, arms coming up to defend himself, just in case!, but he found no one.
Just the pale Monaco morning and his boxer briefs crumpled on the balcony tiles that seemed oddly close by, like he was really close to the floor somehow, had he fallen? Had he sneezed so hard that he'd fallen to the floor and-
His boxer briefs.
His confused thoughts screeched to a halt as he fully registered what he was looking at, and then looked down. Small, dark tipped paws met his gaze, and when one moved, it appeared attached to a little leg covered in fur that was not unlike his own hair in color. When he turned over his hand, the paw turned, and when he wiggled his fingers, sharp looking dark claws wiggled as if he- as if they-
He gave another shocked yell, stumbling back a step, movement from the corner of his eye startling him into turning around. Nothing. When he caught something moving again, he turned again sharply, then frantically in a full circle, trying to crane his neck to see what was happening just out of his line of sight.
His eyes fell to the reflection on the glass door, and he froze. Panting, he stared at the tiny furry creature looking back at him, and with mounting horror he realized the thing that kept moving behind him was a tail. A long, thin tail that was currently swiping across the balcony floor in a small arc, before curling around his feet.
He felt it curl around his feet and he jumped again, squawking in shock, looking down and seeing the actual tail with its dark tip swishing again as he moved.
He forced himself to stop moving. He took a deep breath, and checked his reflection again, carefully lifting an arm. The furry thing in the glass put up a paw. He lowered his arm. The paw came down. Feeling his heart hammer in his chest, he slowly lifted his hand to touch his face, only to find far more fuzz than was his usual three-day stubble after he'd given up on razors again for a bit. In his reflection, the tiny pointy-faced creature touched its own face, too.
Sassy launched at the glass, hitting it with a loud 'thump!' that had Max scramble back a step, lifting up on hind legs on pure instinct, looking wide-eyed at his cat staring back at him from behind the glass. Sassy let out a chirp loud enough that Max could hear it clearly out on the balcony, and then Jimmy moved into view, settling into a low crouch, tail swishing.
Max swallowed. He loved his cats. He knew his cats. And he could say with absolute certainty that they were going to eat him.
His whole tiny body vibrated with a screech that came out as a very undignified, very small chittering bark as he turned on his heel and shot off to the far side of the balcony. Behind him he could hear thumping noises as the cats tried to find a way outside to follow him, and without even thinking twice, he launched himself at his poor potted plant, up onto the balcony railing and then through the tiniest of cracks in the cat proofing mesh that he hadn't fixed yet.
He went down several floors jumping, sliding, falling, clawing at walls, railings and the occasional hanging plant until he landed flat on the pavement with a soft 'flupp'.
Still panicked, he jumped up and shot down the street, crossing and then darting underneath a car where he huddled down and panted, his whole body shaking. But before he could even try to calm his mind, the car pulled away and left him exposed. A dog barked, and he sprang back into action, rushing down the sidewalk and turning sharply left to run down to the harbor, hoping for less foot traffic this early in the morning.
He veered down the familiar path often occupied by runners in the morning and meandering tourists in the afternoon, finding it mostly empty. Behind him, the dog barked again and when he chanced a quick stop to look back, he saw it was unleashed and unchecked and barrelling down the promenade at seeming breakneck speed.
He let out an involuntary bark and started running again, down the path, losing a few seconds as he tried to squeeze in behind a trash can only to find he didn't fit, and then sprinting again. He tried to look for a drain, or a hole in the wall that lined one side of the path, or anything else deep enough to burrow in to wait out the threat, but there was nothing.
He could feel his speed slipping away, exhaustion pulling at him, when one of Monaco's usually overlooked ornamental potted trees came into view. He didn't hesitate, body working on pure instinct as he launched himself up into the air, hind legs scrabbling at the pot as he landed over the edge of it. He dragged himself up into the pot and then scaled the little tree in seconds, all the way up to the top where the branches thinned and drooped even under his negligible weight. He clung there, panting, looking down at the dog that had already found him and was expressing its feelings about this at considerable volume.
And then it jumped, and Max let out a distressed chittering sound he couldn't even hear over the ruckus, scrambling to keep hold of the branch he was on. The dog rocked the pot with its jumping, and Max lowered himself into a miserable crouch, chittering as he tried to scoot back, away from the threat.
"Hey! Hey, what are you doing?" A familiar voice cut through the noise, though Max barely registered it at first. He was too busy staring certain death in the face.
"Is that a kitten? Hey! Stop!" The pot got bumped again as the dog made another desperate attempt at dislodging Max, but then a hand hooked into the dog's collar and hauled it back.
"Hey! Hey! Stop! Back!"
A whole body appeared between Max and the threat of the dog, and he chittered softly in distress again, feeling the branch he was on droop down further. But then a hand came up, reaching for him, and Max didn't think, he just moved, racing over the open palm, up along the arm, barely registering the "ow! hey, ouch!" as he tried to make for the higher vantage point of the shoulder.
He got grabbed around his middle and yanked back, giving a little bark at the intrusion.
"C'mere," he heard above him, as hands closed around him, cradling him close to a chest. And he knew that voice, and those big hands, and that scent that was some weird combination of expensive cologne and sunshine somehow.
Lando.
He slumped with relief, even as he got jostled a bit while Lando tried to get the dog to stop jumping around.
"Hey," he heard. "Hey! Is this your dog? Come get him mate. He's been chasing a kitten!"
He scrambled up, grabbing on to Lando's fingertips where they cupped up to contain him, peering over them and down at the dog, who immediately barked again. Max retreated, trying to make himself as small as possible, pressing in tightly against Lando's chest.
Finally, finally!, the dog got pulled away by an apologetic owner who tried to exchange some pleasantries with Lando, but Max sat up and put a- he put a- a claw on Lando's chest, trying to get his attention.
"I need help," he said, because if this was a weird dream then dream-Lando would poof! when the sun came up and real life Lando would be none the wiser. And if this was somehow real, then chances of figuring this out and fixing it were marginally better with Lando's help than without.
He barked. "Hey! Are you listening? I need help, mate. Look at me! I don't even know what happened! One moment I was fine, and then I sneezed and now I'm… I need you to-" He took a breath. "Lando. Please, you have to-"
"Hey. Hey, it's okay," Lando said and his thumb moved, just once, across Max's back. Max's breath caught. "Let's get you home first, yeah? Then we'll figure out what to do."
Max stilled completely. Figure out what to do. Yes, that was… yes. A plan. Lando had heard him, and he had a plan, and… yeah.
He slumped against Lando's chest, not saying anything else as he allowed Lando to carry him off home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lando's apartment was a mess, with a pile of haphazardly dumped sneakers taking up half the hallway, several key fobs and doodads scattered around his championship trophy centered on the console table, and boxes and bags making a trail from the hall down to the living room.
Not that it mattered to Max in that moment, because Lando had grabbed one of those boxes to put on a table and had deposited Max into it like he was a stray kitten, so he was a bit busy yelling at his friend accordingly.
"What are you doing? I'm of course not going to piss on the carpet! Let me out, we need to figure out what happened with the-"
He cut off when Lando peered into the box, then held up his phone and snapped a photo.
Max huffed. "Great. Do NOT put that in the group chat."
"You're definitely not a kitten," Lando murmured, and Max made a valiant attempt at rolling his eyes. His nose twitched instead. Which promptly had Lando bring his phone back up to snap another few photos.
"Would you STOP," Max grumbled. "Let me out. We need to start looking into how to wake up from a nightmare."
He heard a distant bark and instantly rose up to his back tippy-toes, eyes wide as he tried looking over the edge of the box. His heart hammered in his chest again and he made a soft chirping sound quite against his will, thank you very much.
"It's okay," Lando reassured him, making Max whip his head back around to look at him. "It's outside. We're inside. You're okay here."
"Sure," Max conceded, lowering himself back down with some effort. He felt antsy, like he was supposed to be checking for threats, dog bark or no. He took a breath, then tried with as much dignity as he could muster while in his… predicament: "Can you please let me out of this box?"
Lando beamed at him. "That's so cute," he said, with a level of enthusiasm that Max absolutely did not match just then. The phone came back up and Lando tapped at it, then looked at him expectantly. "Do that again? The little chirping sounds? They're really cute."
Max stared at him, a feeling of dread settling in his stomach like a stone. Surely not. Surely all his perfectly clearly communicated questions weren't reduced to… to… chirps, for Lando to coo at?
He swallowed, trying to maintain composure. "Lando? It is of course no longer funny now. Can you… let me out of the box?"
He watched, crestfallen, as Lando's face lit up with delight. "That's adorable. Oh, Flo is going to-"
Lando pulled back, babbling to himself as he tapped around on his phone, but Max was no longer paying attention. He slowly sat himself down and stared at the weird little paws in his lap.
A meerkat. He had somehow sneezed himself into a meerkat, and was now being cooed at by Lando Norris, of all people.
He really, really hoped this was just the weirdest dream ever.
I randomly had the silliest thought of how hilarious it would be if Max turned into a meerkat. So obviously, I'm now writing Meerkat!Max instead of, you know, getting any actual work done.
WE! WANT! YOU! FOR THE LESTAPPEN INCHIDENT FEST 2026!
are you sick of the ai fics in our tags on ao3? do you miss the amount of fanfic created between 2021 and 2023? do you crave a specific prompt that nobody has written yet?
fear not, for here is our official lestappen prompt fic fest 2026!
key dates: prompting is open now, fics need to be submitted by September 30th and will be revealed on October 8th - right between Max's and Charles' birthdays!
rules:
this is a prompt based fic fest - prompts will be randomly chosen by authors
all prompts/prompt fills should center around lestappen - everything is fine as long as they are the main ship
all other drivers and background ships are welcome, but the main focus is max and charles!
AI generated fics are NOT allowed!
all media (fics, art, etc.) is permitted
works will be shared ONLY on tumblr/ao3! (since this is focused on lestappen and not necessarily on just one half of the pair, fanart may not be driver-centric, so we hope you understand the reticence for other platforms to be involved)
minimum word count for fics should be 1.500 words
multi-chapter fics are allowed as long as you have the first chapter ready for the posting date on october 8th
who can participate: anyone can prompt and write for the fest!
have fun! this is a casual, fun event that isn't meant to stress you out.
prompting and sign-up is open now
important reminder: if you post the fic early to the collection, you will have to change the posting date once the collection goes live. we will send out reminders when the fics are uploaded.
hosted by @mothlau and @darlingboydiaz - if you have any questions, don't hesitate to reach out to us
Just... quietly telling myself I write for me. It's not a popularity contest. It's okay if the AI slop gets a million likes and gets recc'd on people's fic posts. I will stay quiet, and make my characters kiss and I will be happy.
I will finish editing Stolen Moments chapter three.
I will finish the rewrite of the last two scenes of Blueprint of You chapter four.
AND
I will probably completely overlook The Debrief because I'm angstless right now so maybe I will look at an epilogue for The One Where Everyone Wants Max instead.
Doing another one of these TODAY because I have a lot of stuff I need to catch up on and the migraine I feel coming on is about to kill the rest of my long weekend.
I will FINISH chapter four of Stolen Moments.
I will write the rest of The Debrief chapter seven and refuse to let myself edit along the way!!!
Instead, for my evil editor twin that lives inside me and hates me enough to fuck up my flow while I write, I will edit the first chapters of my new F1 x Greek Mythology story to appease her.
