When I was with you, the world was not so heavy.
Hours did not rush, they floated.
The air did not run out, it filled my lungs
as if I had finally learned how to breathe without pain.
With you, I did not have to pretend to be strong.
I could be small, I could be fragile,
I could laugh until my stomach hurt or cry without fear of breaking.
Your arms were a place, not just a gesture and they were home.
I loved how time turned gentle.
How even silence felt accompanied.
We did not always need words because your presence said everything.
I stayed in your brown eyes that held entire universes.
I stayed in the way you said my name as if it were something precious.
I stayed in the small plans, in the big dreams,
in the promise of an “us” that felt invincible.
Now I walk with your absence
like someone carrying something invisible yet immense.
People cannot see it but it weighs so much.
Still, I keep waiting for you.
Not with desperation but with a quiet faith that refuses to die.
I wait for you in songs, in dates that return,
in the thoughts that find me just before I fall asleep.
I wait because loving you was not a mistake.
Because what I felt with you
was the most real thing I have ever touched.
Because my heart, stubborn and loyal,
still speaks your name as if it were present and not memory.
I love you in the past, in the present
and in that uncertain future I still imagine with your laughter inside it.
I love you when I smile without meaning to at the thought of you.
I love you when my chest aches from missing you.
I love you in the distance, in the silence, in hope.
If one day fate chooses to cross our paths again,
I hope it finds me still believing, still feeling,
still loving you with the same intensity
with which I breathed when you were by my side.
Because if there is one thing I know for certain,
it is that with you I was not just living, I was blooming.
A part of me is still waiting to come home.
I love you Calabaza. Always.
