one day i'll write a song about you , chao james ๐
โหเฟ synopsis, james was always there to correct your mispronounciations, until time got in the way. you always thought he would be there to translate your words for the world, but after your break-up, you lost hope. so when you found out that james had used your mispronounced words in his new song, you couldn't help but dive back in the past.
[idol!chao james x dyslexic!non-idol!reader]
โหเฟ author's note, kinda corny i'm ngl. also the reader is based off of one of my friends SO I BETTER NO SEE ANYONE BULLYING HER. first time writing for james did i cook? marcel, mimi, sammie and louis are my ocs for this fic, pls don't get confuseddd
SYN : james is insufferable. heโs truly the worst. with his snotty โdonโt talk to meโ attitude, and his dirty looksโyou seem to be the only one he has a soft spot for.
PAIRING : nonidol!james x softafab!reader โหโนแฐ
CONT. some plot, fluff, smut, est. relationship, includes other cortis members (non idol), skinship, messy kissing, subdom!james, oral sex (f & m), missionary, fingering, praise kink, pet names, begging, bit of aftercare
a/n : i apologize in advance if this is impossible to read i didnโt proof read AT ALL and i lwk suck butt at writing smut..
โcould you guys walk any slower damnit?โ james huffed at the sweet looking couple in front of us. your eyes widened partially out of pure embarrassment.
the female stops and turns around to face him, both a fearful and confused looks on her face. you spot james in your peripheral just staring at her blanklyโlike he was almost trying to intimidate her.
you take your boyfriends arm and give him a tight squeeze, which causes his body to relax by the slightest.
that didnโt do much.
โyes?โ he snaps at the girl. you squeeze him again. this time he takes a second to look at you before returning to the situation and gesturing for the stranger to continue walking.
she rolls her eyes and sticks up her middle finger, and you felt jamesโ body tense up immediately.
โbabyโโ
he takes short deep breath in before sliding his hand down to interlock his with yours and continues walking beside you.
โi think it was their first day on earth.โ james finally blurts out.
โi think you should start feeling just a little bit of sympathy for others.โ you reply. you knew that wasnโt at all the response he wanted, but he still accepted it.
he takes a quick second before speaking again, โi knowโbut can we make an exception for slow walkers?โ
a low laugh escapes from you which earns you a gentle smile from his end. god, why couldnโt he just be this happy all the time?
you knew you werenโt the issueโin fact you were the opposite. you essentially healed his anger issues, but all you wanted was for him to be able to display this same sweetness to the rest of the world.
โthey are annoying.โ you comply. he hums in response.
the rest of the walk to the cafรฉ was peaceful, for the most part. except for the few times james snapped at honking cars or the homeless guy that โdidnโt know how to press the cross walk button.โ
witnessing the majority of your boyfriends lashing outs honestly gave you a taste of realityโit made you realize how stupidly ignorant some people are.
you arenโt excusing his way of coping with them, but it helped you understand him a little more.
you two finally arrived at the lunch spot. you spotted a few familiar cars parked out front which assured you that your friends were already there waiting.
it was jamesโ friend martinโs birthday today, and as a whole you all decided to go out to eat. one thing about your boyfriends friend groupโthey were suckers for good food.
so you suggested this cute lunch spot both you and james had been on many previous dates at. it never failed you.
itโs casual, but fancy enough for special occasions.
โweโre the last ones here.โ you state as he steps forward to hold the door open for you.
โcauseโ we encountered the slowest humans on earth.โ he brings up the slow walkers again. you canโt help but laugh at the fact heโs still stuck on it.
but, on his behalf, you keep giving him reasons to talk about it.
his hand settles on your lower back to guide you into the restaurant, and he returns to your side. after scanning the tables a few times, you hear someone call out.
โhey, y/n!โ you quickly find them with your eyes and see keonho. he offers you a short wave and you begin to walk over to them.
both you are james are now seated across from seonghyeon, keonho, and juhoon. martin was beside james on the opposite side.
after ordering your food and waiting a strong 20 minutes, all of the food arrives. now the six of you are enjoying your food.
jamesโ hand is under the table resting on your bare thigh. he has a gentle grip on youโbut still somewhat possessive.
โdo you thrift?โ keonho asks randomly. you tilt your head up from your food and finish chewing your bite before replying.
โyes i do.โ
his face lights up. โreally? where? your style is amazingโit suits you so well.โ
jamesโ grip tightens slightly.
you let out a little laugh of amusement, โi thrift everywhere. itโs hard to find a consistent spot. you just have to explore.โ
โgot it. i always see your outfits in james hyungโs posts. youโve got amazing taste, really.โ he acclaims.
โalright keonhoโwe get it.โ your boyfriend butts in.
โwhat? i canโt compliment her?โ keonho throws his hands up in mock surrender, a knowing grin peeking from his lips.
โheโs being niceโโ
โno, heโs trying to piss me off.โ james quickly adds.
keonho rolls his eyes. โwell that time i was just trying to be nice. youโre impossible to please.โ
โcan everyone shut up.โ juhoon commented, and keonho sunk into his seat.
a smile grows on your face, โhm.โ
you knew james was mad already. you didnโt even have to look at him. why someone with a temper like him decided to be friends with kids? beyond your knowledge.
although you seemed to be a bit to bring around them. they all equally enjoyed your patience and willingness to adapt to anything.
james leans over to whisper something in your ear, โletโs get out of here.โ
before you could even say anything he adds, โplease.โ
you finally return back to your apartment building, and james walked you up to your room.
the walk up was awkwardly quietโbut you didnโt bother to bring anything up. you were smart enough to be able to read the scene, and know that heโs probably not in the mood to hear anything right now.
he opens the apartment door for you and you walk inside. when you turn around to wish him a good bye, heโs got a filthy grimace plastered on his pretty face.
you drop your shoulders, โokay, youโre being a big baby.โ you snap, but there was still a subtle gentleness in your tone.
james letโs out a sighโone you canโt quite comprehend immediately, as he invites himself inside and shuts the door behind him.
โy/nโ he breathes. his low voice sends a shiver down your spine. and for some odd reason, maybe just the mere fact heโs dangerously hot, it turns you on.
you swallow the sudden warm feeling, โjames.โ
something in him snaps. he reaches a hand out to grab your arm, reeling you in close. his lips immediately crash onto yoursโyour hands flying to bury themselves in his hair.
his own hands are everywhere. one is firmly locked on your jaw, whilst the other is making its way up and down your waist.
heโs kissing you hard, like heโs been starving for you all day. your lips are moving together in an established rhythm, one youโve learned over many years.
james tastes like fresh mint with a subtle hint of cherryโheโs recklessly sweet. itโs a taste so familiar to you. but still everything it seems to grow more delicious, something you crave even more.
he spins you around in one swift motion and pressed you up against the door, his hand landing on the wood surface to cage you in.
his free hand is still exploring your body, now resting to the hem of your top. he gives the soft fabric a mild tug and you immediately catch his gistโyour own hands resetting on his lower stomach.
you slip your hands underneath the thin cotton of his shirt, your skin sparking at his natural heat. you run your hands along his toned core and his breath hitches momentarily at your touch.
heโs still kissing youโhis tongue twirling around in your mouth savoring every note of your taste. he pulls away just to land a trail of sloppy kisses along your jaw.
this forces a stifled moan from you, and your head tilts back slightly to bring yourself closer to him.
you bite your lip, finally grasping onto his shirt and he takes a quick step back for you to pull it off of him before diving back into you, his hand landing on your neck.
he gives you a light squeezeโnot one to fulfill a full choking sensation, but just enough to claim you.
โyou.โ he groans hot against your mouth, โtake it off.โ
you oblige instantly and slip your top over your head, hurriedly shimmying out of the piece of clothing. he takes it from your hand and tosses it behind you before reaching forward to grip your waist.
he stares at you for a moment, both awe and lust glistening in his eyes. โmy pretty girl. youโre so perfect.โ
he leans in again to devour you once more, his tongue urgently demanding entrance. he whimpers at the lustful contact and begins to grind his body against you.
at this point, your pussy is already throbbing with desperation for him. youโre convinced you could get off with just kissing himโheโs got you down bad.
he could say the same for you. the thought of you bare, touching him and grinding against him lives rent free in his head.
as much as james likes to act like heโs a tough and dominant man, heโs insanely weak when it comes to you. heโd do anything you asked him tooโeven if it was ridiculously unreasonable.
heโd obey you because it would please you. thatโs all he wants.
you let out another cry of pleasure from his touch alone. thatโs automatically enough for him to drop to his knees.
his hands fall to your thighs, the only thing separating you now is your skirt. heโs looking up at you through dark lashes with glossy, needy eyes.
you reach down to pet his head and his grip on your thighs increases. heโs desperate for youโin this moment all he needs is to taste you and lap up every drop of your pleasure.
โcan i taste you?โ he pleads. you and james have had sex more times than you could count, but he still asks for permission every time.
a part of you knows that itโs not just out of respect. he loves when you tell him what to do. youโve got him wrapped around your pretty little finger, and he doesnโt give a shit.
โyes, james.โ you nod frantically. โplease.โ
he doesnโt waste anytime before pulling down your skirt. the fabric pools at your ankles and you kick it away from the two of you.
your panties weโre already soakedโmost of that was a result of just purely looking at him. his eyes are locked on your damp underwear like heโs mesmerized by how he makes you feel.
โdamn, all this from a few kisses?โ he plants a kiss on your core. โso needy.โ
โonly for you.โ you respond.
his fingers hook onto your lace, and with a tug you were completely exposed. after all these years there was still a weird feeling pitting in your stomach whenever james saw you as vulnerable as this.
โi love you, y/nโ he breathes. he throws your leg over his shoulder to open you up enough for him to fully consume you.
โi loveโโ
a pleasureful cry flies from your throat as he presses his tongue into your wet folds, the feeling of the warm muscle causing your legs to jerk slightly.
your pretty taste earns a low moan from james and the vibration stimulates you in a satisfying way. you bite your lip to drown out the overwhelming feeling flowing through your veins.
your fingers tangle deeper in his hair, guiding him as he uses his tongue to lick flatly against your clit.
โjamesโโ
โyou taste so good.โ his voice is muffled in between your legs. his tongue slides through your folds. your hand tightly grips his hair and your back arches unconsciously, causing you to press yourself further into his mouth.
a soft moan leaves your mouth and that only motivates him to move faster. now his lips are suctioned against your puffy clit, sucking you lightly.
your sensitivity spikes and you feel yourself surfacingโas if you could completely shatter any moment now.
he mustโve been able to sense your creeping climax. his fingers find your most sensitive areas, and he begins using them to explore your muscle.
his tongue is still working your clit while he slips a finger inside you. the touch makes you whimperโyearning for more.
he was teasing at this point, only giving you the least of him. you wanted all of him. you wanted to feel him so deep inside you until your insides were completely full of him.
another finger enters you, and he moans against your clit when he feels your walls tighten around his slender fingers.
heโs using them to pump in and out of you, while he pulls his face from your legs and presses his wet lips along your core.
โiโm so close.โ you pant. your eyes are glossed with tears. all you need is one more rush to push you over the edge.
he finally stands up, his fingers remaining buried inside of you. he grabs your face to kiss you and you shiver at the mixture of your own taste with his sweetness.
heโs making all sorts of noises against your lips and the sound only makes you wetter for him.
at first he kisses you passionatelyโthen it quickly turns into something more dangerous. his tongue is dominating your mouth whilst his two fingers drive up and curl into you, finally hitting your most precious spot.
you cry loudly into his mouth as your orgasm washes over you in hot waves. your body almost automatically begins to grind more against his fingers, chasing that rush of pleasure.
itโs still not enough for you.
he swallows your moans and removes his fingers from your pussy, allowing your warm juices to trickle down your legs.
โsuch a good girl for me huh?โ james brings his hand up, revealing his two fingers that are soaked with your wetness. โwanna know how good you taste, baby?โ
you bite your lip and nod, so he hovers his hand in front of your mouth. you immediately abide to his gesture and take him into your mouth, sucking your own cum from his fingers.
he slips his finger from your mouth and licks the remaining juices himself.
โkiss me again.โ you beg. he grins before gripping your waist, pulling you against him. his lips find your again and he quickly claims your lips.
you hooks your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. the heated kiss lasts longer that you intended, the two of you getting lost in each others saliva.
you finally pull away and trail your hands down his bare chest. they stop at the band of his calvin kleins and his breath hitches temporarily.
you hook a finger onto his underwear and begin walking towards your bedroom, pulling him with you by his waistband.
when you reach the bedroom he tries to take control, but you donโt let him. you back him up to the foot of the bed and use your palms to shove him onto his back.
he lets out a low, amused groan. his hands are above his head and his stomach is stretched out on the bed, revealing his toned hips and v line.
โgod, youโre so hot james.โ you say to him, with a small hint of a moan. the mere sight of him had you thinking nasty thingsโthoughts of him fucking you til morning, and thought of making him squirm until he begs.
his eyes widen slightly, like he knows heโs about to get the best head of his life.
heโs right.
you stand above him as you run your hands along his core before returning to the band of his underwear.
you immediately get to unzipping his jeans, pulling them over his hips and he helps you by shimmying out of them.
heโs almost rushing. he wants this desperatelyโhis dick is so ready for you.
he could cry thinking about how needy he is for you.
once heโs only in his boxers, you can finally see how aroused he is. his cock is bulging from his black boxers, patiently waiting for your mouth.
you lick your lips at the sight and lean forward to plant a few sloppy kisses along his waist. his hips jerk involuntarily at the sudden contact.
โi havenโt even touched you yet baby?โ you whisper and his hairs stand up at your hot breath against his stomach.
you lick a wet line along the hem of his waistband before tugging down. you finally get his boxers completely off of him, and his member springs out, completely ready for you.
his tip is pink and glistening with a few dollops of pre-cum. his dick isnโt something new to youโbut every time, youโre still shocked by his size.
your hand immediately wraps around his member and he hisses at your touch. you lean forward to dangle a wad of spit onto his cock so heโs perfectly slick for you to touch him.
you begin stroking him lightly and his thighs tense up around you. you pick up your pace and his breathing becomes heavierโnoisier.
โfuckโฆ.y/nโโ
his whimper sparks a deep feeling inside of you, causing you to almost instinctively bring your mouth closer to his dick, tracing the curve of his tip with a flat tongue.
he perches himself up on his elbows and throws his head back, โholy shitโโ
his pleading tone echoes through the room and you use his begging to sink further around his member, sucking on him whilst your tongue swirls around his width.
he sits up further to dig his hands in your hair but you immediately reach a hand above you to push him back down, his hands freeing from your head.
โpleaseโโ
you bob your mouth around his dick, earning satisfactory whimpers from james. his noises only fuel you more. you slide your mouth off of him and lick a final line up his length which caused him to let out a loud groan as he feels himself getting closer to finishing.
you could tell he was about to tip over, so you wrapped around him again to stroke him off.
his hips jerk upward and he begin to shake slightly as he reached his climax.
โbaby iโm gonnaโฆoh god.โ his thick liquid spills over onto your hand as you continued to move your hand along his cock.
you lean over again to take him back into your mouth, lapping up every drop of his orgasm.
you pull away and give him a second to recollect himself before climbing over him on the bed and bringing your lips onto his. he kisses you back instantly and his hands grab your waist, holding you in place as you roll against him, your tongue dancing with his.
โy/n youโre too good.โ james says against your mouth, the vibration of his voice traveling down your throat.
โthen fuck me.โ you demand.
he hums in response and grip you extra tight before manhandling you onto your back, flipping himself on top of you with both hands by your ears.
โis that what you what?โ he asks, his breath ticking the sensitive skin of your neck. you nod and he closes the distance between you, kissing and sucking on your neck with need.
you reach out to grip his shoulder with your hand, the other digging into his bicep. you moan against his collarbone as he devours your neck, leaving marks that feel like they could be permanent.
one of his hands leaves the bed to cup your breast, kneading it gently. he runs his thumb across your nipple and you arch momentarily.
he immediately kisses your lips again to swallow your sudden noises.
you can feel his dick hovering over your stomach, occasionally dragging along your core.
he backs up for a second to guide his cock onto your entrance, only the tip pushing into you.
your hand grips the sheet beside you in anticipation. โjamesโฆplease.โ
โplease what? use your words angel.โ
โpleaseโi want you to fuck me.โ
instead of giving you a verbal response, he enters into you slowly.
โfuckโโ james growls. he thrusts into you completely, feeling your walls clench around him.
you bite your lip hard to stifle the cries youโre so desperate to let out. he picks up his pace, slamming in and out of you. the only noise filling the room is the sound of skin on skin and heavy breathing.
he keeps up the same speed the whole time, up until you feel yourself crawling towards a second orgasm.
โjames i need to cum.โ you cry out, and he slows down. the slower pace was honestly worse for youโas it stretched to wait for you to finish.
your face grew hot, and you were desperate to collapse. but you werenโt there yet.
you could tell he was also close. his breaths were drawn out and he kept making faces that told you he was holding back.
when he slams into you again, it finally cracks you. your orgasm spikes and you moan out into the thick air of the bedroom.
he speeds up to tend to your heating climax but it shatters him as well. he pulls out and a thick rope of cum lands on your stomach.
he strokes himself a few times to spill out whatโs left of his orgasm and he fall onto the bed with you.
your lean forward to kiss his forehead, a mix of sweat and the sweet flavors of his skin coating your lips.
he brings a hand up to pet your face before kissing you gently, savoring every last second of this moment.
there were beads of sweat surfacing on his neck, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly.
you were both entirely worn outโgiven you were out all day, and just had the best sex of your life.
he finally breaks the silence, โyou okay?โ
โbetter than ever.โ
he lets out a quiet laugh before swinging his legs off the bed and standing up, bending down to slip his boxers back on.
he looks back of your weak body draped across his bed, covered in sweat and leftover cum.
he laughs at you for a moment then walks over to reach out a hand, โletโs get you cleaned up. sound good, pretty thing?โ
you nod and take his hand. he lifts you up from the bed in one swift pull and his arm immediately wraps around your delicate body.
your hand grips his bare bicep as he walks with you to the bathroom. he grabs a spare towel off the rack and wets it before ringing it out and kneeling before you to wipe the remnants of sex from your body.
he plants a soft kiss on your stomach before standing back up.
when you return to the bedroom he throws you a pair of his sweats and a white tee shirt. while you change into his clothes, he grabs clothes for himself and slips into them.
now that youโre both dressed, he pulls you close once more to kiss you. his hands slip underneath your baggy shirt to hold you by your bare back.
โthanks for that.โ you say, and you feel him smile against your lips.
โare you serious?โ he replies. โi should be thanking you.โ
you laugh and he brushes a finger along your jaw, cupping your face to plant one last kiss on your forehead.
IโM GONโ RIDE in which James -your โfriendโ just bleached his hair blonde but youโre atrociously down bad for each other.
เผ ่ตต้จๅก เผ ๐ idol!reader
โฏ MDNI, friends-with-benefits, blond hair!james, semi-public heated interaction (for a lack of better words), needy and vocal james, oral (m. receiving and f. receiving), riding, extreme eye contact, unprotected sex.
ใthe number of requests for blond hair james was concerning. is everyone okay? anyways thanks for 2k my gooner team!
๐ธ 7k โฑ ๐ถ. list
โDo people have a sixth sense that-โ
You clicked the delete button furiously, fingers shaking.
โCan someone feel when another person is-โ
You closed the Google tab, seconds away from throwing your phone out of the window- but the specific feeling that lived right between your thighs magically dragged your fingers back to the screen, opening a brand new one instead.
โIs it possible for someone to feel when another person is aroused?โ
Aroused was a weak word. Fuck that.
โIs it possible for someone to feel when another person is wet, without touching them?โ
You added a single word at the end of your question- reddit. Because somehow these forums had all the answers to every single question.
It had been like this all day -ever since the moment James stepped in the building with that new blonde hair. Platinum, almost silver under certain lights, falling in soft spikes that framed his sharp jawline and made his dark eyes pop like a fucking sin.
The internet was losing its collective mind; and you weren't ready to face the thousands- screw that- millions of thirsty comments.
Blonde James was lethal.
But blonde James was yours first and foremost.
You clicked on the first reddit link, foot tapping on the floor anxiously.
โYou probably can't help being turned on by certain people, but as long as you are polite and don't stare, you'll probably be OK. Just don't do anything to make it worse, like actively fantasizing about sex with them.โ one netizen said.
Funny.
Cause you were pretty sure today, that blondeย hair had flipped a switch inside you. Every time James moved, your gaze locked on the way the strands caught the light, he looked like a glorified anime character, sharp and lean everywhere. And then your eyes would drift lower: the corded muscles of his forearms exposed by rolled-up sleeves, the prominent veins that traced paths over his skin, pulsing faintly with each gesture.
His hands- god, his hands.
Long fingers, knuckles that flexed when he adjusted his mic pack, veins standing out against the back of his palm. You kept imagining them on you, in you, gripping, teasing, spreading.
โJust don't do anything to make it worse, like actively fantasizing about sex with them.โ
Oh you were fucked.
Because that's exactly what you were doing since 9 am sharp this morning, with no break whatsoever.
Get it together, you thought, clenching your thighs together as you waited in the wings during soundcheck.
You aggressively turned off your phone and put it back in your pocket as if it was mocking you with these reddit threads. Your body felt hypersensitive, skin prickling under your stage outfit, heat pooled low in your belly, a constant throb that made your lace panties feel too tight, too damp already.
Just from hair? Pathetic.
But it wasn't just the hair. (It was the hair.) It was also how it made everything about him sharper, the way the strands brushed his neck when he tilted his head and-
Had you mentioned his hands? Oh yeah you were screwed.
Break time. The hallway between dressing rooms was empty for once, staff scattered for lunch. You slipped away, heart hammering, only to feel a warm hand catch your wrist.
And obvious-fucking-ly, it was James.
James your handsome... There was no word to describe what James was.
James was what he became the moment he slipped in your bed and spread your legs with that cocky smirk of his. Which was happening a whole lot lately ever since you'd made that whole fuck-buddy arrangement on a drunken night.
"Hey," he murmured, his voice low and smooth like velvet.
Since when did you throb when someone greeted you? You were going to have to have a pep talk with the girly downstairs, as soon as expeditiously possible.
James pulled you into a shadowed alcove near the emergency exit, the door clicking softly shut behind you both before you could even greet him back.
Up close, the blonde was devastating. A few strands fell over his forehead, and he brushed them back with long fingers. He was still a little sweaty from dancing, having changed his tee shirt into something more comfortable- but also more revealing; his strong arms now completely bare- shoulders and all.
Your breath hitched audibly.
You were so easy, it was terrifying.
"You've been staring all day," he observed, a small smile playing on his lips. Not smug but rather warm- appreciative even.
He leaned in, his breath ghosting your ear, carrying the faint scent of his shampoo mixed with stage makeup and clean sweat. "Something on your mind, baby?"
You swallowed hard, your back pressing against the cool wall. His hands. Those veins. You wanted them wrapped around your throat, your thighs, inside you.
The thought made your nipples tighten against your top.
Reddit girl would be so mad right now.
"Is it that obvious?" you managed to squeak out, though your voice sounded much deeper than you intended.
You tried to look anywhere but at his mouth, but- there were no buts- James was just all over you, playing with the knowledge that you were currently as red as a tulip.
He chuckled, a vibration that you felt in your own chest and he stepped closer, closing the microscopic gap between your bodies until you could feel the heat of his bare arms. He raised one hand, long fingers grazing your jawline before tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear.
You let out a shaky breath, your knees feeling dangerously weak. You thought you could die right then and there.
"It's more than just staring," he murmured, his thumb tracing the line of your lower lip, pulling it down just enough to reveal the damp pink of your inner lip.
James' gaze darkened, dropping to your mouth before snapping back to your eyes. The playful warmth was still there, but it was being rapidly overtaken by something hungrier, something you knew all too well from how many times you'd explored him.
"You look like you're about to pounce..." He leaned in even closer, his nose brushing against yours, his voice dropping to a whisper. "what's wrong baby?"
What's wrong? You wanted to scream in his face, pull on his hair- but the thought only made you wetter- so impossibly wet- you thought you had never been this turned on in your whole entire life.
All because of some bleach and dye.
He didn't wait for an answer. He slid his hand from your face, his palm flat against the small of your back to pull you flush against him, the hard planes of his chest pressing against your breasts and the solid weight of his thighs slotting between yours. You let out a small, broken moan, your hands instinctively flying to his bare shoulders, your fingers digging into the firm muscle there.
You were so incredibly, hopelessly wet it was pathetic- and the friction of his denim against your damp lace was almost too much to bear.
"James," you breathed, his name a plea.
"Yeah, baby?" He nipped at your earlobe, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin just enough to make you arch into him. "Tell me what's wrong sweet girl."
Your hands, still anchored to his bare shoulders, slid upward, palms grazing the warm, slightly damp skin of his nape. Your fingers tangled into the short, silky strands of his new hair that was softer than expected. Your nails grazed at his scalp, scratching lightly, the way you knew he loved.
"Nothingโs wrong," you whispered, though the way your hips involuntarily hitched against his told a completely different story. You pulled back just enough to look him in the eye. "It's just... you. How am i supposed to focus when you're walking around looking like that?"
James let out a soft, breathless sound halfway between a laugh and a sigh and leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes fluttering shut as he soaked in your words.
"Shit." he let out a breathy laugh, nose brushing your jawline.
Your whole body was on fire, his skin brushing against yours like he had all the time in the world and you weren't standing in a hallway of your workplace.
You didn't answer his cursing with words. Instead, you tilted your head, your fingers tightening in his hair to pull him down just an inch more. You leaned in with a slow and agonizing movement that forced him to hold his breath in anticipation.
When your lips finally met his, it wasn't as frantic as usual; it was a languid, melting sensation. You started with the lightest of brushes, just a ghost of a touch against his bottom lip, teasing him, dragging a needy sound out of him.
You could feel his hands tremble against your waist, his grip tightening as he leaned into the sensation, desperate for more.
Then, you deepened it.
You let your lips part, your tongue sweeping out to graze the seam of his mouth before sliding inside. The kiss was heavy, wet, and incredibly unbearably slow, as you moved your tongue against his in a rhythmic, swirling motion, tasting him the faint hint of mint and the heat of his mouth.
Every time he tried to increase the pace, to suck harder or pull you closer, you slowed down even more, forcing him to endure the delicious torture of your restraint.
James let out a low, broken sound deep in his throat a needy, desperate hum that vibrated against your tongue. He was melting and you could feel him sagging against you.
His hands migrated from your waist to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair to guide you.
He was so responsive, so hungry for the contact that it made you feel less insane for being so aroused by his goddamn hair.
Every time your tongue swiped against his, he let out a tiny, hitched breath, his hips stuttering a frantic, rhythmic press against yours. And when you finally pulled back just a fraction, leaving a thin, glistening thread of saliva connecting your lips, you didn't let him go far.
You stayed in his space, your noses brushing, your breaths mingling in the small gap between you.
James' eyes were hooded, lips swollen and red from your teasing, "You're gonna kill me, you know that?" he dropped a wet kiss on your collarborne.
You didn't give him the satisfaction of a verbal answer- yet again. Instead, you took one of his hands from your waist and guided it downward, moving slowly, watching his eyes widen, his breath hitching in his throat as your fingers led his palm over the curve of your hip and slid beneath the hem of your outfit.
When his fingers finally made contact with the damp lace of your panties, James let out a choked sound.
He didn't even have to push; the moment he felt the slick, undeniable heat radiating from you, he knew. He felt the warmt of your need, the way the fabric was practically soaked through.
His eyes searched yours, blown wide.
"Fuck" he cursed, his voice cracking. "You're soaked y/n."
He looked like he wanted to sink to his knees right then and there on the floor, to worship you properly while you tugged at his blonde hair.
But just as he began to press a finger inward, seeking to soothe the ache, you caught his wrist.
You pulled his hand away, leaving him momentarily unmoored and breathless, and then you slowly drew his fingers out of the lace.
They were glistening, coated in your heat.
James didn't even hesitate, he brought his hand up to his mouth, his eyes never leaving yours, and licked his fingers clean with a slow stroke of his tongue. The sight of him as he tasted you sent a fresh jolt of electricity straight to your core.
"Wanna bury my face between those thighs-" he started, breath fanning over your neck.
But life wasn't all rainbows and butterflies.
"James! Five minutes! We're back on!"
The muffled shout of a stage manager from down the hall shattered the moment in pieces.
The sudden intrusion made you both jump, a small gasp escaping your lips and James let out a frustrated, low groan, burying his face in the crook of your neck for a fleeting second, breathing you in as if he could store the scent of your skin to last him through the next fe hours.
"I'm gonna die." James exhaled shakily, eyes squeezed shut. "Why'd you have to be so fucking beautiful-"
The man made a low, pained sound in his throat. He glanced down, his face flushing a deep flustered crimson and reached down, awkwardly trying to shift himself, but the bulge in his stage pants was unmistakable and completely unyielding.
Despite his efforts, he couldn't hide the evidence of how much you'd just affected him.
He looked up at you, his eyes wide and pleading, completely overwhelmed and his hands hovered in the air, unsure of where to go, his shoulders hunching as if he were trying to shrink away from his own desire.
"I-I can't," he stuttered, his voice strained and thick. "I can't go out there like this. Fuck i'm so hard."
You started to move toward him, maybe to offer a reassuring touch or a lingering glance, but James stepped back, shaking his head frantically. He looked almost pained, his jaw tight as he tried to regain his composure.
"You have to go," he breathed through a pained chuckle, his gaze darting everywhere but your face. "I need a few minutes to cool down, or I swear i'm gonna forget every lyric to the songs."
He laughed, a shaky, breathless sound that lacked any of his usual confidence. He was trembling, his chest heaving as he tried to force his heart rate to slow down. "I can't get it down while you're standing there looking at me like that. You're too... you're too much. I can't think straight."
You gave him a small, knowing smile, enjoying the sight of him so completely undone.
โGood luck with that, handsome.โ You began to back away, but he followed you with his eyes, his expression a mix of desperate longing and a sweet, innocent sort of agony.
"Hey, hey, come back here," he called after you, his voice a little louder now, "I mean no- don't come back- just text me when you're out. You're coming back with me tonight."
๐ต ๐ต
James was a man of his word- so as soon as the show ended, still sweaty and soaked in water from the bottle of waters his members had poured on him- he was looking for you.
The adrenaline from the final encore was still coursing through his veins, he didn't even wait for the staff to clear the wings.
The moment he saw you standing near the equipment crates, he was moving. He didn't walk; he practically stumbled toward you, his eyes wide and frantic, searching yours.
He looked like a man who had spent the last hour in a fever dream, counting down every second until he could touch you again.
"You're here," he breathed, the words coming out as a relieved, shaky exhale. He didn't care that he was damp with sweat, or that the scent of salt and stage musk was heavy on him. He reached out, his large hands finding your waist with a suddenness that nearly knocked the wind out of you, pulling you into the shadow of a heavy equipment trunk.
He didn't kiss you immediately. Instead, he leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaving as he tried to regulate his breathing. He was still vibrating from the performance, but the hunger in him was even more intense than it had been in the alcove.
"God, it was so hard," he whispered, his voice a low, wrecked rasp against your skin. "Every time the lights went down for a transition, all I could think about was you."
You let out a small chuckle, amused, but he didnโt let you speak.
"Can we go?" he asked, his voice pleading, his hands sliding down to grip your hips tightly. "Please, baby. I don't wanna talk to the guys, I don't wanna do the debrief... I just wanna be alone with you. I need to feel you."
He leaned in, his damp hair brushing your temple, his lips hovering just a fraction of an inch from yours, waiting for your permission, waiting for you to lead him away from the noise and the lights and into the quiet of your bedroom.
You let out a soft, breathless laugh, your hands sliding up his damp chest to cup his face, your thumbs tracing the line of his jaw.
So needy, you thought, feeling a surge of affection so strong it was almost painful.
"Letโs go then, go grab your stuff," you whispered, leaning in to catch his swollen bottom lip in a quick firm kiss. You pulled back just enough to meet his blown out pupils, your eyes dark with the same hunger he was projecting. "We need to leave now before the hallways get crowded."
You grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers tightly with his, and began tugging him toward the private exit.
"Right. Yes. Stuff. Going," he stammered, his brain clearly struggling to catch up with his body's frantic demands. He looked like he wanted to scoop you up and run, but the reality of the crowded backstage area forced him to maintain a shred of decorum. "Don't move. Don't move from this spot. If someone separates us, Iโm gonna lose it y/n.โ
He practically scrambled away, his movements uncharacteristically hurried as he grabbed his bag and his damp towel. You watched him, your heart hammering a frantic rhythm against your ribs, feeling the weight of his gaze on you even as he turned his back to gather his things.
A few moments later, he was back, his hand finding yours with a desperate strength, his fingers lacing through yours so tightly it felt like he was trying to fuse your skin together.
He couldnโt care less if the stylists or the other members saw him practically dragging you toward the private exit.
As you slipped through the back door and into the cool and quiet night air of the loading dock, the sudden temperature drop made you shiver, but James was there instantly, pulling you flush against his side. He was still radiating heat, unbothered by the possibility that his members might be looking for him.
"Call your driver, pretty girl," he whispered into your hair as he leaned down, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, his breath hot and frantic.
The silence in the car was heavy, James didn't even bother to ask to turn on the radio; the only sound was the low hum of the engine and the frantic uneven rhythm of your breathing.
He sat in the back seat, but he wasn't looking out the window. He was turned toward you, his body angled sharply, one hand gripping the edge of the leather so hard his knuckles were white. Every time the car hit a small bump, his knee would brush against yours, and he would let out a sharp, hitched breath, as if the simple contact was enough to push him over the edge.
"Itโs so hard to sit still," he finally groaned, the sound vibrating in the small space. He reached out, his hand trembling as he rested it on your thigh, his fingers digging into the fabric of your skirt. "I feel like if we don't get to the apartment in the next thirty seconds, I'm going to start unzipping my pants right here."
It was a joke- not that you would mind.
He let out a breathless, self deprecating laugh, but there was nothing funny about the way he was looking at you. His gaze was tracing the line of your throat, the curve of your lips, the way your chest rose and fell with your heavy breathing.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" he whispered, his voice dropping to a low, gravelly register that made your stomach flip. "The way you're sitting there... so calm... so pretty.โ
โShhh weโre almost there Yufan,โ your hand hiked up his thigh, tracing over the hard muscles there.
His hips gave an involuntary, desperate twitch upward, seeking the pressure of your hand, trying to close the agonizing gap between your touch and his need. He was so hard, so incredibly sensitive, that even the slight friction of your hand against his trousers felt like a lightning strike.
"Don't... don't stop," he groaned, his fingers curling into the leather of the seat, his knuckles turning a ghostly white. "Please, baby, don't stop. If you stop now, I think I might actually die."
๐ต ๐ต
The second the apartment door clicked shut, he was on you.
James didn't even wait to turn on the lights. He didn't even make it past the entryway, he practically tackled you against the door, the heavy wood thudding against your back as his body slammed into yours. His hands were everywhere at once clutching your waist, tangling in your hair, pulling you so close that you could feel the thudding rhythm of his heart against your own chest.
"Finally," he choked out, the word sounding more like a prayer than a statement. "Finally, finally, finally."
He didn't kiss you gently this time. He devoured your mouth, his tongue sweeping into your heat with a desperate, rhythmic intensity that made your knees buckle. He was kissing you as if he were trying to breathe you in, as if he could absorb your very essence into his lungs.
Your hands slid under your top, his palms hot and slightly damp against your skin, tracing the curve of your ribs before gripping your waist to hoist you up. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his hips, your thighs squeezing his waist, and the sensation of your damp lace pressing against his hard length made him let out a broken moan into your mouth.
"You're so hot," he whimpered against your lips, his voice wrecked and needy. "you're so fucking beautiful."
He began to move, stumbling backward toward the bedroom, never once breaking the contact of your lips or the frantic grip of his hands. He was stumbling, uncoordinated and desperate, his movements driven by a singular, overwhelming need to be inside you, to feel the friction.
You reached the bedroom and just as you were lost in the heat of his neck, James pulled back just an inch, his breathing still heavy but a glint returning to his eyes. That lopsided, cocky smirk the one he usually reserved for the stage spread across his lips, though his eyes remained soft.
โYou know...โ he started. He tilted his head, a stray lock of that platinum hair falling over his brow as he cupped your jaw โThe hair... I dyed it for you.โ He let out a soft, breathless chuckle, his hands sliding from your waist to cup your face, his thumbs tracing your cheekbones with a tenderness that contradicted his smug expression. โFigured since you like Bakugo so much... you might start to like me.โ
You stared at him, momentarily stunned. Not a single fiber in your body was ready to think about whatever that meant.
But as you looked at him, really looked at him the way his chest was heaving, the way his eyes were dark with a hunger that bordered on desperation, and the very obvious, heavy ache straining against his trousers a different thought took hold.
Oh, James needs some head. Fuck it he deserves it. โYou did?โ you smile, breaking the contact. โDidnโt have to change your hair color for me to like you, i already did anyway.โ
You slid down his body, your hands gliding over the firm muscles of his thighs, guiding him as you descende and James let out a startled sound as you sank to your knees on the hardwood floor in front of him. He reached out instinctively, his fingers tangling in your hair, his knuckles white as he braced himself against the wall for support.
"Baby?" he breathed, his voice trembling, his eyes wide and blown out as he looked down at you. He looked completely undone, his smugness melting instantly into a state of pure, vulnerable anticipation. "Wait- are youโฆโ
He didn't finish the sentence. He couldn't. He just stood there, trembling, his head tilting back as he watched you, his breath hitching in his throat as he waited for your next move.
You didn't give him the satisfaction of immediate relief. Instead, you leaned in just enough to let your warm breath ghost over the fabric of his trousers, right where he was most sensitive. You watched his eyes flutter shut, his head lulling back against the doorframe with a shaky, expectant groan.
You started with a tease, your tongue tracing the hard, pulsing line of him through the cloth, circling the head of his length with agonizing slowness. You could feel him shudder, his hands tightening in your hair, his hips jerking forward in an uncoordinated attempt to meet your touch.
"Baby... please," he asked, needy "Don't... don't play with me like this. You know how much I need you."
You let out a low, muffled giggle against the fabric, enjoying the way he trembled under your control. You moved your hands up, unbuttoning his trousers and sliding the zipper down with a rasp that sounded like thunder in the quiet room.
When you finally freed him, the sight of him thick, heavy, and pulsing with his own heat made your mouth water.
Then, you finally leaned in.
The moment your lips made contact, James let out a low sound. You took him into your mouth, tongue swirling around the sensitive head before sliding down the length of him in one long, wet motion.
The reaction was instantaneous. His entire body went rigid, his fingers clenching so tightly in your hair that it was almost a tug, but you didn't mind.
He was lost. He was completely, utterly gone. He leaned his head back, his throat working as he swallowed hard, his eyes rolling back in his head.
"Oh god..." he gasped, his voice breaking. "Right there angel... just like that. You're so good... so fucking good to me."
You picked up the pace, your movements becoming more rhythmic and intense. You used your hands to stroke the base of him, creating a seamless, overwhelming sensation that had him swaying on his feet. He was a mess of sensation, his breath coming in ragged, frantic gasps, his hips beginning to move in time with your mouth.
The rhythm of your mouth was relentless, a perfect, swirling combination of heat, suction, and the expert glide of your tongue. You weren't just being careful; you were being thorough, worshiping him with every wet, sliding movement. You could feel the tremors racking his entire frame, the way his thighs shook so violently he had to lean against the wall just to stay upright.
As you felt him reaching that final, frantic peak his hips beginning to stutter in short, desperate jerks you decided to change the dynamic.
You slowed down just a fraction, pulling back enough to let the cool air hit his slick, heated skin, and then you tilted your head back to look up at him. Your eyes were heavy, lidded as you looked up at him through your lashes, your lips glistening and we. Your gaze traveled upward, past his trembling chest, past his frantic throat, until it landed on his hair.
The strands were a mess, damp with sweat and tousled from his own fingers, catching the dim light of the apartment.
He looked so goddamn good-
James opened his eyes, his vision blurry and his mind a fog of pleasure, and he looked down to find you watching him with that dazed, worshipful expression. He saw the way your eyes lingered on his hair, the way you looked at him like youโd die if he didnโt touch you.
"Baby..." he choked out, his voice a mere whisper, his hands shaking as he reached down to cup your face, thumbs brushing over your wet lips. "Just- come up here. Iโll give you anything you need, yeah?"
Every time your glassy, dark eyes drifted up to catch his, his heart gave a violent, painful thud against his ribs.
James was not okay.
He felt dizzy a legitimate, spinning vertigo that made the room tilt. It wasn't just the physical sensation of your mouth; it was the way you were looking at him, you looked so hungry and that caused his undoing.
His cock was twitching in front of your face, the head of him weeping clear droplets of pre cum, reacting to the sensory overload of your presence. He felt like he was a live wire, a single touch away from loosing all control.
James reached down, his fingers trembling so badly he could barely grip your shoulders, his knuckles white. He felt like he could cum at any second, just from your eyes alone.
"Don't look at me like that and then stop," he pleaded, a broken, needy whine vibrating in his chest. He was practically begging now, his pride long since abandoned. "Just... finish it. Please. I can't... I can't hold it- I'm right there... I'm so close..."
His hips gave a sudden, violent twitch, his entire body tensing as he felt the first, unmistakable wave of a climax beginning to form through him.
Gosh- was he that down bad?
You didn't let him drift away, you leaned forward, your hands gripping his thighs to steady him, and took him deep.
The sensation of him filling you, the thickness of him sliding past your throat, forced a muffled noise from his lungs. His fingers tangled so violently in your hair that it was almost a pull, his knuckles white as he braced himself against the wall, his entire body vibrating with the force of his climax.
"Oh fuck fuck fuck- baby." he curzed, the word catching in a sob.
He was pulsing, his entire length twitching rhythmically against your tongue as he began to come. You didn't pull back; you leaned into it, your throat working, your suction intense and unrelenting as he poured himself into you. You felt the hot, thick waves of his cum hitting the back of your throat.
He was shaking, his knees finally giving out as he slumped against the wall, his breath coming in frantic, sobbing gasps. He was completely spent, his eyes glazed and unfocused, staring down at you with a look of pure, holy awe.
And you didn't miss a single drop.
You swallowed every bit of him, the thick, salty taste of him a final, intimate seal on the moment. You took your time, making sure he saw the way you swallowed, making sure he saw the way your throat moved, before you finally pulled back.
The moment you finished, James was a man possessed. He didn't let you stay on the floor for long; he scooped you up and carried you to the bed, his lips finding yours in a series of frantic, messy kisses as he laid you down.
He was still reeling, his mind a hazy fog of pleasure, but the sight of you flushed and breathless made his head spin.
He flipped you onto your stomach, hands sliding down the curve of your spine- and he leaned down, breath hot against the back of your thigh, as he began to work his way up.
When his tongue finally found you, nudging your panties to the side- he let out a low, needy groan, his face burying into your pussy from behind.
His strong hands gripped the soft flesh of your ass, spreading you open for him as a moan vibrated against your soaked folds- his tongue dragging slowly from your dripping entrance all the way to your swollen clit.
James was completely lost in it. He licked broad, flat strokes across your pussy, lapping up your arousal like a man dying of thirst. His tongue circled your clit with teasing pressure before flicking rapidly over the sensitive bundle of nerves, making your hips jerk involuntarily.
โFuckโฆ you taste so good,โ he growled against your core, the words muffled as he pressed his face in harder.
He nudged your panties further aside with his nose, then sucked your clit between his lips, hollowing his cheeks as he drew on it with pulsing suction.
Your thighs trembled, a broken moan spilling from your mouth into the sheets. You didnโt even know what to do anymore- you were wrecked- completely.
You were grinding back against his face without shame now, chasing the building pressure which James only encouraged, his free hand kneading your ass, spreading you wider so he could eat you more thoroughly.
He alternated between long, hungry licks and focused suction on your clit, occasionally pulling back just enough to blow cool air over your overheated flesh before diving back in with renewed hunger.
"James..." you gasped, your fingers digging into the bedsheets, your hips arching instinctively toward him. The sensation was incredible, but the ache in your core was demanding something more something else. "James, stop... wait."
He paused instantly, his head lifting, his face flushed and his hair a beautiful, damp mess. He looked up at you through his lashes, his eyes wide and searching, looking like a puppy waiting for a command. "What? Whatโs wrong baby"
"Nothingโs wrong," you breathed, reaching back to grab his hands and pulling him upward. You rolled over, your eyes locking onto his, dark and commanding. "I don't want you down there. I wanna feel you. I wanna ride you."
James didn't argue. He couldn't possibly.
He simply sat back on his heels, his breath coming in shallow, jagged hitches as he watched you climb over him. His hands hovered near your waist, wanting to grip you, wanting to pull you down, but he held back, his fingers trembling with the effort of letting you take control.
As you settled onto him- hovering over his cock and slowly sinking down- the sensation of him filling you caused his head to loll back, a long groan escaping his lips.
When you began to move, the rhythm of your hips setting a pace that was both slow and punishingly deep, James fell into a trance of pure sensation.
He couldn't even find the words to praise you anymore.
He just sat there, his chest heaving, his eyes wide and wild as they tracked every movement of your body.
His mouth hung slightly open, his breath hitching every time you bottomed out against him, his gaze so intense it felt like witnessing something forbidden.
You leaned forward, your hands reaching up to find purchase in that beautiful hair youโd been admiring all day. You wound your fingers into the silky strands, tugging just firmly enough to pull his head back, exposing the lon line of his throat.
"You look so good like this, James," you whispered, your voice a low, sultry purr that seemed to vibrate through him. You leaned down, your lips brushing his ear, your breath hot and teasing. "This hair... you look so good.โ
You gave his hair another sharp, commanding tug, pulling his face up to meet yours.
"Fuck..." he finally managed to choke out, though it was barely a sound, just a broken exhale of your name. He looked completely unmoored, his hands finally coming up to grasp your hips, not to guide you, but to hold on for dear life as you drove him closer and closer to the edge. "Youโre gonna kill me... You're absolutely killing me."
The pace shifted from a slow, torturous grind to a frantic, rhythmic bounce that sent jolts of electricity straight to his core.
You leaned forward, your chest brushing against his, and reached down to grab his hands, guiding them away from your waist and to the swell of your ass.
โFeels so good- youโre so deep.โ you keened, head lolling back.
As you picked up the speed, you began to consciously squeeze, your internal walls clenching and pulsing around his cock. You gripped him with a precision that was nothing short of calculated, catching him with every upward surge of your hips.
"Ah fuck-" he whimpered, trying his best not to make this end so quickly.
His hips began to buck upward instinctively, trying to meet your frantic pace, his entire body coiling into a tight, vibrating knot of pure tension.
"You're so tight... you're so fucking tight..." he gasped, the words coming out in broken fragments.
โI know, baby, I know fuck...โ you moaned, your head falling back as you felt him bucking beneath you, โYouโre so good, James... you feel so fucking good.โ
He couldn't even keep his eyes open; he just stared up at you, his jaw tight, his entire body vibrating with the effort of not coming mid sentence.
"mmhh fuck," he choked out, his hands sliding from your ass to your hips, his fingers bruising your skin as he tried to pull you even deeper, to merge your bodies together. "Do it... do it again. Squeeze me like that... please, sweetheart, please."
So you did.
"You're so beautiful..." he said, the words catching in his throat as he watched you, his eyes glassy and unfocused.
โOh fuckโyou gasped, the words breaking into a ragged moan as his hips bucked violently against you, trying to meet your desperate pace. You leaned down, your hair brushing against his sweat slicked skin, and bit your lip to keep from screaming as the tension reached a breaking point. โIโm so close, James... so so closeโ
You reached down, your fingers tangling in his blonde hair to pull his head up, needing to see his expression when you finally broke.
He cursed sharply, hips snapping up to meet you with renewed force. One hand slid up your back, pressing you flush against his chest while the other slipped between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit.
โCome for me baby-โ he growled, voice low and filthy. โLet me feel you.โ
The tension snapped.
Your orgasm crashed over you hard, a white-hot wave that tore a loud, shameless moan from your throat. You clenched around him rhythmically, pulsing, soaking him as pleasure ripped through every nerve.
You did it one final time, and that was all it took.
James came with a groan that tore straight from his chest. His whole body seized beneath you -every muscle locking up tight as the first spurt of his cum flooded deep inside you. He couldnโt stop moving. Even as his orgasm ripped through him, his hips kept thrusting up into you in short, desperate, uncontrollable strokes, chasing the pleasure, fucking his cum deeper with every erratic snap of his pelvis.
โFuck- fuck, baby- โ he gasped, voice hoarse.
His arms wrapped around you like a vice, clinging desperately as he pulled your body flush against his. One hand splayed wide across your back, fingers digging in hard enough to leave marks, while the other gripped the back of your neck, holding you in place. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, mouth open against your sweat-slick skin, panting and moaning as another thick pulse of cum spilled into you.
You could feel everything- the way his cock throbbed and twitched violently inside your pulsing heat, his hips kept rolling in shallow, stuttering thrusts even as he came down, like he physically couldnโt stop claiming you. His lips pressed open-mouthed against your throat, teeth grazing your skin as broken whimpers and curses vibrated against you.
For a long minute he stayed like that -buried to the hilt, still giving tiny, involuntary thrusts as the last drops of his cum leaked into you, arms locked around your body like he never wanted to let go.
โFucking hellโฆโ he finally breathed, voice wrecked and muffled against your neck. He pressed a sloppy, lingering kiss just below your ear, then another, softer this time. His hold slowly loosened, but only slightly- one hand still stroking down your spine while the other stayed tangled in your hair.
โYou okay, baby?โ He nuzzled deeper into your neck, pressing another kiss there. โI think I lost the ability to think for a secondโฆโ
You softly giggled, breathless- and you kissed him right back on the temple. โCuteโ
James looked up, his eyes always told stories but right now- they told you all you needed to know about the nature of your relationship.
There was no way in hell you could both pretend this wasnโt more than a stupid drunken arrangement anymore.
โI should dye my hair more often if it means youโll ride me like you just did.โ
that shit was so long idk what possessed me iโm so down bad itโs so unfunny.๐ญโ๐ป
โ SYNOPSIS - in which James is your stan acc oomf on twitter during pandemic days, and once you retrieved the account you suddenly remember him and start talking for a while again, not knowing he's a k-pop idol already.
เงป๊ช idol!james x non-idol! reader เงป๊ช
โงฝ warnings โ separate ficion from reality, kpop twt stan account moments , cringe self , fake texts n tweets, vulgar insults n jokes, ooc james, idk ?
โงฝ note โ reader's online name as tzu (based from twice's tzuyu) , and james' online name as yu (from yufan) , you can't unconvince me James doesn't have a stan acc he's on his phone 24/7 , cleaning up the ideas filled in my notes app pls bear with me lol
Synopsis:ย When you signed up for a paid product testing program, you expected free samples and money. What you didnโt expect was to be paired with Hwang Hyunjin and assigned to test a series of increasingly questionable sexual wellness products together.ย (26,1k words)
Author's note: It's here. The final chapter is here. Thank you to each and every one of you who have been following this series. I hope you enjoy this one last one โฃ๏ธ
You wake slowly. Your lashes flutter, the world still soft around the edges as you shift slightly against the bed, the sheets tangled somewhere around your legs. For a second, you donโt move, just lying there, letting sleep cling to you before you put your hand reaches and fumbles blindly across the bedside table, grabbing your phone, bringing it close enough to squint at the screen.
You slightly jolt at the realization that half of the day went by. โWhatโ?โ Your voice comes out hoarse, disbelieving.
You push yourself up slightly, brushing your hair away from your face and just sit there, back leaning against the headboard to give your brain time to catch up. You turn your head to the side and find Hyunjin still asleep. Heโs sprawled across the bed with arms stretched, one leg half hanging off the mattress, the duvet completely kicked aside. Itโs like heโs making snow angel in his dream.
You shake your head as a soft laugh slips out of you. You move his arm, setting it beside him as you shift closer. Your body naturally finding its place against his, and you nuzzle your face into the warm curve of his neck.
โHey, wake up,โ your voice comes out low and a little hoarse.
Heโs too deep in his slumber to even respond. You try again by gently poking his cheek with your finger, followed by small, ticklish kisses along his jaw. Still, nothing. Not even a twitch.
You pull back slightly, narrowing your eyes at him as you sigh in annoyance, โUnbelievableโฆโ
Well, if he wonโt wake up, you will make him. You slide off the bed and walk over to the window, fingers gripping the curtain before pulling it open in one swift motion. Daylight instantly floods in, filling every corner of the room with bright, unforgiving late afternoon sun.
You turn to look at him, waiting if it does something to him and to your surprise, nothing. You exhale sharply through your nostrils and march back to the bed. You donโt even hesitate to jump and the mattress sinks as you land beside him, bouncing slightly as you lean over him.
โCome on! Wake up!โ You say, pulling at his arm.
Finally, he stirs just slightly and groans. Then his arms moves as it reaches for you, wrapping around your waist and pulling you down with him. You let out a small sound of surprise as you collapse onto his chest.
Hyunjin is already settling again, eyes remain closed, breathing slow and even. Like heโs already halfway back to sleep again.
You huff softly and stack your hands together on his chest, resting your chin on it. Then you just watch him, all his beautiful features that complement each other perfectly. At the sight of his lips, an intrusive thought pops in your head and almost without thinking, your fingers lift, tracing lightly over his soft, plump lips.
Another intrusive thought pops and you cave in immediately โ you lean down to press your lips against his, placing a gentle, lingering kiss on him.
You pull away just enough to put an inch between your lips. โWake up. Iโm hungryโฆโ you mumble with coaxing tone.
He doesnโt answer, but his arms tighten around you, holding you closer. A bit later, he shifts and lifts his head to close the inch between your lips for a soft, sleepy kiss. Then he drops back onto the pillow.
He takes a moment to gather his senses and then his eyes fluttering open. When they meet yours, he breaks into a lazy grin. A gentle hand lands on the top of your head, thumb tucking away a strand of hair on your temple.
โRoom service?โ he murmurs.
You shake your head. โNo. Letโs go out.โ
He stares at the ceiling, like heโs thoughtfully considering it. Then he nods. โOkay.โ
You smile and place a quick kiss on his lips. โIโm going to get ready,โ you say.
You press your hands into the mattress, about to push yourself up when all of a sudden, his arms tighten again and holding you in place.
โHeyโโ
โFive more minutes,โ he mumbles, voice thick with sleep.
You glare down at him. โJust five?โ
โMmm-hm.โ
โJust five more minutes,โ you warn as you let yourself sink back down, melting into him.
However, five minutes turn intoโฆ more than five. By the time the two of you step out of the hotel for a late lunch and it turns into an early dinner. Despite it, the food tastes better and maybe because you skipped an entire half of the day with sleep. Or maybe itโs just him. Either way, you both finish the meals rather too quickly.
On the bright side, it gives you and him time to walk down to the beach, just in time to enjoy the sunset.
By the time youโre sitting on the sand, side by side, the sky is already starting to shift, the blue deepening, warm colors slowly bleeding into the horizon as the sun lowers itself toward the water.
You pull your knees up slightly, arms wrapped loosely around them as you watch. โCanโt believe we just wasted another day like thatโฆโ you sigh with a pout.
Hyunjin leans back, hands propping against the sanding behind him. โWe didnโt just waste it,โ he mutters in disagreement.
You turn your head and narrow your eyes at him. โIf only you werenโt scowling and upset with me all the time,โ you say, teasing him.
He scoffs at that and without looking at you, he says, โPfftโฆ I told you I wasnโt upset.โ
โYeah, but you were scowling.โ
โI wasnโt.โ
You softly laugh and then playfully bump his shoulder with yours. โYet youโre the one who says why Iโm the girl with the adorable scowl,โ you casually say, glancing sideway to see his reaction.
It takes him seconds to process your words and realizes where they came from. Yet, he decides to act oblivious and coyly says, โWhat are you talking about?โ
You glare at him, giving him another shoulder bump. โOh, donโt act like you donโt know.โ
He just looks at you, feigning innocence like he never heard it before. Or that those exact words firstly came out of his own mouth.
โI know you recommended me to Jane. For the test program,โ you tell him.
Hyunjin pauses for a second and then smirks. Like you figuring it out just now is entertaining.
Offended, you elbow his side, but he barely reacts. โYou acted so convincingly at the seminar. Like you didnโt know we were paired.โ
That gets him bursting into laughter, his head tilting back slightly, shoulders shaking as the sound escapes him freely.
It annoys you even more so you elbow him again, a little harder. โStop laughing.โ
โSorry,โ he says, not sounding sorry at all.
You cross your arms slightly, turning more serious now. โWhy did you choose me anyway?โ
That question lingers a little longer than the others. Hyunjin simply shrugs and says, โBecause I wanted to annoy you.โ
You elbow him again. โBe serious!โ
He laughs again, dodging slightly this time. โOkay, okayโโ
He thinks for a second and then tries again. โBecause itโd be fun. Doing it with you.โ
The answer is more honest than before but you elbow him anyway. Harder. โTry again.โ
โHeyโโ he winces, hand coming up to his side. โThat one hurt.โ
โGood.โ
He exhales, rubbing his ribcage. This time, he looks at you as he seriously answers. โBecause I always wanted to get close to you and I just didnโt know how.โ
You go quiet. Your gaze softens without you meaning it to. A smile starts to form anyway and you look away before he can see too much of it, looking back to the horizon where the sky is now painted in orange and pink, the sun dipping lower, reflecting across the water.
โYou shouldโve chosen Gabe,โ you say, almost absentmindedly.
โWhatโs the fun in doing it with someone who already likes me?โ he says without a beat.
You let out a scoff of disbelief. โYeah, sure, the girls go crazy for a cocky guy like you,โ you sneer.
He turns to you and beams as he lightly says, โSee? Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?โ
You try not to fall in easily but a soft laugh slips out before you can stop it. And when he puts his arm around you, you instantly lean into him, fitting there easily.
Hyunjin leans in to press a kiss on the top of your head and then brings his mouth close to the side of your head. โI know you like this cock,โ he whispers with a teasing edge.
You tilt your head up, meeting his eyes and letting him see the way yours widen in surprise. You elbow him again, but this time is more like a nudge.
He laughs in satisfaction and draws you closer to his side. โI mean, I know you like this cocky guy,โ he corrects, still laughing.
A beat later, he corrects again, โA charming, cocky guy.โ
You shake your head at that but at the same time, canโt help the way your lips curve into a smile.
He looks at you, still with that grin on his face and then he presses a gentle kiss on your lips, long enough for the warmth of it to spread all over you.
When the kiss breaks, the two of you turn your head back to the way the sun sinking deeper into the horizon, the sky darkens and the air cooling. The way everything else feels like itโs slowing down around you.
Aside from the fact that everything happened before this is not as accidental as you think.
But this, here, right now โ youโre both here because you chose to be with each other.
In this moment.
-
The elevator is empty when you step in. Hyunjin hurriedly presses the number to your hotel floor without letting go of your hand and soon, the doors slide shut. Before the elevator even starts moving, you reach for him. Your fingers gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him forward until heโs standing right in front of you, your back pressing lightly against the wall.
He doesnโt resist. Instead, his hands come to your waist, holding you steady as his eyes drop to meet yours. โSo, whatโs our plan for the night?โ he casually asks, but thereโs something underneath it.
You glide your hands up his arms, hands resting on the nape of his neck, playing softly with the strands of hair there. You donโt answer. You just keep looking at him and that alone is enough to create tension between you and him.
His grip tightens just slightly at your waist. โAre you hungry already? Should we get room service later?โ he asks, a smirk threatening to show.
With the hand rested on the back of his head, you pull him closer and without the slightest bit of hesitation, you kiss him.
It catches him off guard for a fraction before he melts into it, kissing you back like heโs been waiting for it with one hand stays on one side of your waist, the other trailing up your spine.
You open your mouth wider just to let him have as much taste as he can, letting him deepens the kiss and then slowly, you pull away. But he follows, chasing for your lips, for another kiss.
Before he can execute it, the elevator dings and the doors slide open. Then a group of people steps inside. And just like that, Hyunjin stops and straightens, but he stays where he is, close to you.
You canโt help but chuckle seeing his exasperated expression and the way he tries to compose himself. But his eyesโ His eyes are still on you.
Feeling mischievous, you tilt your head just slightly, gaze dropping to his lips before flicking your eyes up and stare deeply into his eyes. You pull him close, close enough that only he can hear you when you speak.
โI have a plan for us tonight.โ
This time, he stops himself from hiding his smirk. โYeah?โ
You rise onto your tiptoes, allowing you to speak right into his ear. Your lips lightly grazing the shell of his ear as you whisper, โTrust me. Itโll be fun.โ
You linger there for a few more seconds before pulling back and look at him. The smile you give him is flirtatious and knowing. Like you didnโt just leave him there, caught between curiosity, intrigueโฆ And something else entirely.
The elevator continues to climb, floor by floor and you can tell that Hyunjin is wondering what you have planned for tonight.
-
The second Hyunjin closes the door behind him and then turns, you run to him. Your hands grabbing onto him, your body colliding into his hard enough that it pushes him back a step and at the same time, your lips crash into his.
Hyunjin lets out a soft, surprised sound against your mouth, caught off guard by the force of it, but it only takes him a heartbeat before heโs kissing you back. Eagerly, like this is the only thing he thinks about since the elevator.
Your bodies tangle immediately, moving clumsily that your feet stepping over each other, as you push him backward, guiding him toward the bed without breaking the kiss. The kiss is messy and breathless, desperate in places. Yet you donโt stop, you keep steering until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. And then, you pull away, gasping for air when your mouths finally detached.
You flash him a smirk as you put both hands on his chest and then push him, hard and he falls back onto the mattress. A soft exhale escaped his parted as he lands, eyes already on you with excitement flickering in them. His smirk returns like a tell that heโs already enjoying this. Like he wants to see what youโll do next.
You donโt make him wait for it. You climb onto him, straddling him easily, your knees settling on either side of his hips as you lean down and put your lips on him again. This time, you kiss him harder and deeper, teeth gently biting at his lower lip, tongue twirling around his.
Hyunjinโs hands coming up to your waist, gripping, pulling you closer like thereโs even space left between you. You let him yourself get drawn to the temptation, feeding in on his hunger for you.
When your lungs start to burn and your breath turns uneven, only then do you pull away. Reluctantly. Your hand comes up beside his head, bracing yourself as you hover over him, looking down.
Heโs already looking back at you with dark, lustful eyes and solely focused on you. His hand lifts, brushing your hair away from your face, tucking it back gently like he doesnโt want anything in the way of seeing you.
โIs this the fun plan?โ he asks, voice a little rough.
You seductively smile and then lean down to press a quick, innocent kiss to his lips. โNo.โ
That throws him and you immediately see the confusion on his face. You pull back with a small smirk and cup his jaw. โGive me a few minutes as I get things ready,โ you say.
His eyebrow lifts and you can almost see every thought running through his head, every possibility stacking on top of each other. It almost makes you laugh at how much you enjoy this. Instead, you lean in again, stealing one more kiss before pulling away completely.
โNow, wait here and donโt come out until I call you.โ
With that, you slide off him, off the bed, leaving him there watching you as you step back. You walk toward the sliding doors, each hand reaching to pull them closed. Before you shut them completely, you pop your head in between and warn him one last time.
โStay and wait here.โ
You doubt that he hears you right or that heโd listen to your warn anyway. You lift a finger and pointing it at him. โDonโt come out until I call you,โ you warn again, firmer but with a playful smile decorated your face.
Hyunjin doesnโt answer or confirm, he only grins at you. You choose to trust him that heโll be a good boy and does as you instructed. Then you take one last step back and close the doors
-
Hyunjin stays where you left him. Heโs lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling and patitently waiting for your call. Itโs only been a minute, heโs sure he needs to wait longer so he lets out a quiet sigh, a disbelieving huff slipping past his lips as one hand brushes his dark locks to the back.
What just happened?
Hyunjin slowly backtracked everything he did together with you. Waking up to your soft, loving call of his name. Ate late lunch/early dinner together. Enjoyed the beautiful sunset together. You found out that he recommended you to Jane and wasnโt upset about it as he thought you would. You whispered that you have a fun plan prepared for tonight. You kissed him, pushed him hard onto the bed. You kissed him more, straddling him and pining him under. And now, youโre making him wait as youโre preparing something behind those doors.
He lets his arms stretch out before tucking them behind his head and stares up as his mind slowly catching up with everything.
Itโs a lot to process all at once, but strangely, he doesnโt feel overwhelmed. If anythingโฆ He feels good that everything is out and that it doesnโt make things awkward or complicated. He feels really, really good.
And while he waits, his thoughts drift back to you, to whatever youโre doing behind those doors. Thereโs only so many directions his brain wants to go and none of them are exactly innocent. He exhales through his nose, a smirk forming as he shifts slightly on the bed as he lets himself indulges in the imaginations.
Maybe youโre changing into somethingโฆ nice. Something you know would surprise him in so many ways, except innocently. Or maybe, youโre going around the room, setting a few things to be more โin the moodโ. Or maybeโ
Oh, man. The longer he waits, the more his imagination fills in the blanks and the more impatient he gets.
With a small groan, he rolls onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow, eyes fixed on the doors like he can somehow will them open faster. But nope, theyโre still closed, still quiet.
โFew minutes are up,โ he calls out, voice just loud enough to carry through.
A while later, he can hear the faint sound of your laughter. โJust a little bit more,โ you reply.
He smiles just from hearing your voice and laugh โ Which honestly is kind of insane. He shakes his head slightly, amused at himself before deciding to push it further.
โIโm getting sleepy,โ he says, dragging out the words.
โThen go to sleep,โ you answer without a beat.
Hyunjin breaks into laughter as heโs dropping his head back onto the bed again, one arm falling over his eyes. God. Love is so silly and embarrassing.
A moment later, you finally call for him. โOkay, you can come out now.โ
Hyunjin scrambles to get up, swings his legs off the bed and stands. He pauses for a brief moment by the doors, hands on the handles like heโs bracing himself for whateverโs on the other side.
After a deep inhale of air, Hyunjin parts the doors open and his eyes automatically sweep over the room, looking for the โfun planโ youโve been talking about. He notices that the lights arenโt dimmed, no candles surrounded the space or the sofa has not been cozied up for a certain activity. And when his eyes land on you, youโre still wearing the same dress, more covered than what he imagined earlier. He only sees you there, sitting on the carpeted floor right in front of the low table.
Your arms thrown wide in the air, beaming at him like youโve just revealed something spectacular. โTADA!โ
He gives it another look-around, scanning the room like maybe heโs missing something, but no. But when his gaze return to you, he finally notices something on the table. Some kind of board game.
He takes a slow step forward, still processing. โThis is your fun plan?โ
You grin as you nod in confirmation.
He steps closer, like proximity might somehow change what heโs seeing. โBoard game?โ
You nod again. โYes.โ
Hyunjin just stands there for a second, staring at you and at the board. And then back at you. A breath escapes him. Half disbelief. Half laughter threatening to break through. โYou made me wait for this?โ
Thereโs no real complaint in his voice. Heโs justโฆ slightly baffled yet amused. But also, he knows this is just so you.
You smile as you pat the space on the carpeted floor beside you. โCome. Sit.โ
He obeys, lowering himself onto the carpet, crossing his legs as he settles in, his gaze flicking from your bright, expectant grin to the board in front of him. Still confused.
โWhat kind of board game is this?โ he asks, brows slightly drawn together.
Before you can answer, thereโs knocking on the door. Youโre moving, quick on your feet as you hurry to the door, leaving him sitting there, blinking after you like this whole thing just keeps getting stranger.
When you return, you have a bottle of champagne cradled in one arm and carrying a tray with both hands. His eyes follow every step as you lower it onto the table, two champagne flutes with a wine opener and then, something mysterious hidden under a metal lid.
As if you know heโs curious with whatโs inside, you lift the lid to reveal a bowl of strawberries and melted chocolate in the other smaller bowl. The memory of that one movie night hits him instantly.
You hand him the bottle of champagne, along with the wine opener. โWill you please open it?โ
โCertainly,โ he says as he takes them. His hands skilfully working with the cork until it loosens and pops open. A soft fizz follows, bubbling at the neck as he quickly pours into both glasses, careful not to spill a drop. He quickly clinks his glass gently against yours and takes a big sip to not let it spill over. The wine is slightly fruity and smooth, instantly refreshing him.
He exhales quietly, setting the glass aside before leaning forward again, eyes back on the board. It looks like a game of monopoly but he knows for sure that itโs not it.
โWhat kind of game is this?โ he asks again.
โItโs a fun game,โ you simply answer with a grin.
He lets out a small sigh, already half-exasperated. โI mean, how do you play it?โ
You softly giggle and then patiently explain that itโs just like any other board game. He only needs to roll dice and then moves the pieces according to the number he gets, but even that feels vague, like youโre intentionally leaving things open.
โLetโs just learn as we go,โ you finish, waving it off.
He doubts that thatโs all it is. But he chooses to trust you, for now. โOkay.โ
You take another sip of wine, then glance at him. โReady to play?โ
He mirrors you, lifting his glass for a quick sip before setting it down. โYeah.โ
He straightens a little, focus settling in and gets his head in the game. But then, you look at him again.
โTo start, we have to look lovingly into each otherโs eyes,โ you carefully instruct, setting the two pieces on the starting square. โAnd whoever blinks last gets the first turn.โ
He scoffs lightly, a competitive spark lighting up immediately. โJust so you know, Iโm good at staring games.โ
You smile like you already know something he doesnโt. โLetโs begin by close our eyes first and open them at the count of three.โ
Hyunjin closes his eyes right away and across from him, he hears the subtle shift of you turning to face him fully.
Your voice slower and softer now as you start to count down. โOneโฆ twoโฆโ
He breathes in and as soon as the word โthreeโ is out of your mouth, he opens his eyes. and it startles him just a little to find you leaning in so close. Your face right there, merely an inches away from his with a sly smile playing on your lips as you look straight into his eyes.
Suddenly, this isnโt a game anymore. Something about the way youโre just looking at him and the unspoken words flickering in them โ It does something to him. Because all he can think about is how easy it would be to close the gap between your lips. Itโs a test on his restraint.
โWeโre supposed to lovingly look into each otherโs eyes,โ he mutters, trying to hold onto some control.
You giggle and when you stop, your teeth fainty biting at your lower lip. Then, you lean in even closer. โWhat do you think Iโm doing?โ you murmur.
He knows youโre baiting him, knows youโre pushing him right to that edge on purpose.
And still, he holds onto his restraint just a little longer, a little stronger. But god, the way youโre looking at him. The way your eyes donโt waver, almost daring him. The way your lips are right there. He feels his restraint slipping and eventually, he gives in.
He lifts his hand, cupping your face as he closes the distance and finally, kisses you. Like thatโs what this was always leading to. The kiss is gentle yet deep
โI won,โ you triumphantly declare as soon as he pulls away.
He exhales, dropping his head back slightly as he rolls his eyes. โYeah, okay. Take the first turn. Whatever.โ
But as he turns toward the board, thereโs a smile tugging at his lips anyway. Because honestly? He doesnโt feel like he lost at all.
-
Hyunjin leans forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees as he watches you take the dice.
You shake it in your hand in confidence and then toss it onto the table. It rolls and then stops on a five.
His eyes follow your hand as you move your piece across the board, counting softly under your breath until it lands on a square marked with a small cherry. He tilts his head, curious. โWhat does that mean?โ
โIt means I get a sweet treat,โ you answer, reaching for the tray. You pick up a strawberry and dip it slowly into the melted chocolate. Then take a bite.
His eyes stay on you, watching the way your lips wrap around it, the chocolate catching slightly at the corner of your mouth.
You chew and smile a little to yourself. Then glance at him. โItโs your turn.โ
He quickly snaps himself out of it. He grabs the dice, rolling it between his fingers before tossing it onto the table. Three. He moves his piece and it lands on a square marked with a pair of lips.
His brow lifts slightly in confusion. โAnd what this one means?โ
โYou get to kiss.โ
His mouth twitch but before it can form into a smile, you place a different dice into his hand. This one is red and eight-sided, there are words written on each side of it.
โNow, roll this one,โ you instruct.
He barely has time to read whatโs written on each side of the dice. He rolls and then tosses it onto the table. It lands onโฆ Hand.
โHand?โ
You nod, like this is completely normal. โThat means you get to kiss me on the hand.โ
He scoffs lightly. Not because he doesnโt want to, but because he wants to kiss you somewhere else. But still, a kiss is a kiss, it counts when itโs with you. He takes your hand and brings it up. Then gently presses a kiss on the back of it and another on your wrist. He doesnโt stop there as his lips trail upward, making a trail of ferocious, little kisses up your arm.
You giggle in reaction, trying to pull back. โYou only have to kiss my hand!โ
โI am,โ he says, half-laughing, not stopping. โIโm kissing your whole hand.โ
You laugh harder, finally tugging your arm away, but heโs already smiling to himself, satisfied.
He picks up the red dice again, this time actually reading it. Lips, cheek, forehead, neck. His eyebrow lifts when he reads, โFreeโ.
โFree?โ
โThat means you can kiss wherever you want,โ you casually answer.
His lips curve into a seductive smirk. โWherever?โ
โWherever,โ you repeat.
You roll again before he can say anything else and this time, your piece steps on a square with a question mark on it. You reach for the stack of card with identical mark, picking up a card and flipping it over to read whatโs written on it.
โWhatโs the sexiest part of your partnerโs body?โ
His gaze slightly intensifies. A slow smirk forming as he leans back slightly, waiting in anticipation for your answer.
He suddenly aware of the way your eyes travel down his body. Not just looking, but scanning, taking him in. He notices the way your eyes linger around the lower half of his body before flicking back up to meet his eyes.
You flash him a cryptic, naughty smile before finally say your answer. โYour eyes.โ
He lets out a quiet chuckle, doubting your answer. โMy eyes? Really?โ
You nod, certain.
Hyunjin leans in, leaning in too close that his breath ghosts your lips. โI thought youโd say something else.โ
Your head tilts slightly, eyes daringly stare back at him. โHuh? What did you think it is?โ
His gaze dips for a second and instead of answering, he chooses to show you. He takes your hand again, bringing it up, brushing your fingers lightly against his lips. His voice is dropping lower now. โAre you sure itโs not my lips?โ
You smile as he continues to use your fingertips to feel the softness of his lips. โYour lips are sexy too. Butโฆโ
โButโฆ?โ
You catch his chin in your hand and then turn his face back toward the board game. โBut itโs your turn now.โ
He huffs out a laugh and then takes the dice again, rolling it with a small shake of his head.
It lands on a martini glass.
โYou get to drink,โ you quicky explains.
โThatโs boring,โ he grumbles. Yet, his hand reaching for his glass, taking a sip of the bubbly wine, feeling refreshed once again.
Youโre already rolling again. Six. You waste no time to move your piece forward, landing on a square marked with a chili pepper. You take a card from another stack with the same drawing on the, and read it out loud.
โGive your partner a passionate kiss for 15 seconds.โ
Oh. Thatโs how this game works. Each square is a command but the cards are specified commands depend on their signs. So far, the question mark is for questions. The chili pepper one is for spicy commands. Then, thereโs another stack with a heart on it and that one is still unknown.
But wow! Finally! Something exciting.
You dramatically sigh as you prop a hand under your chin. โWhy does this feel like a punishment?โ
He doesnโt even try to hide his smile, turning his body slightly facing you and patiently wait for you to come to him.
You let out another sigh before crawling your way toward him and then, you climb onto his lap like youโve already accepted your fate. His heart starts beating faster as your hands come up, cupping his face as you look down at him.
For a second, you just look, letting the anticipation builds and builds. When you close your eyes, he does the same. The first touch of your lips is light, testing and you pull back just slightly, just enough to tilt your head to the side. You part your mouth open before leaning in once more, kissing him deeper yet slower, letting him feeling every brush of your lips on his, the way you suck on his lower lip and coaxing him to open his mouth by gently biting at it. Of course, he caves in eventually and the kiss grows more certain, more consuming.
The tension keeps building with every second as you lean more into him, your tongue brushes his and twirling it with his, enough to pull a quiet breath from him before you latch on him again, kissing him with everything youโve got.
Fifteen seconds suddenly feels way too short. Because just when heโs getting lost in it, you pull away.
Youโre smiling as you mutter, โTimeโs up.โ
He chases after your lips, wanting more, needing more. โJust a bit moreโฆโ he breathlessly whine, almost pathetically.
You only give him a quick peck on the lips and then slide off his lap, settling back to your spot like nothing happened. He almost shakes his head at the way you mercilessly tease him and act like you didnโt just do that.
You grab the dice again and he stops you by wrapping his hand around yours. โHey, itโs my turn.โ
โI got six,โ you say, opening his grip on your hand. โSo I get to roll again.โ
Hyunjin reluctantly lets go and you toss the dice onto the table. Five. Your piece lands on the cherry. He sighs because itโs the boring one, but he quickly reaches for the bowl of strawberries.
โIโll do it for you,โ he says.
You let him and watch as he takes one, dipping the strawberry into the chocolate, holding it up to your lips. Once you take a bite of it, he shoves the rest into his mouth and licks the chocolate off his fingers.
When you look at the board, you grin and clap your hands together. โI finished one lap.โ
โAnd whatโs that supposed to mean?โ
โFirst to finish three laps wins.โ
Okay, now that he understands how the game works, โwell, most of itโ he realizes that winning the game is not really the point.
Hyunjin takes his turn, still feeling the warmth of you lingering in his arms as he rolls the dice. Four. His piece stops on a square with the heart on it.
You point at the stack of card. โPick a card.โ
He eyes you suspiciously before reaching for the stack, picking one from the top and flipping it over. He reads the command loud enough for the two of you to hear.
โHug your partner for 30 seconds.โ
He puts the card down and mumbles, โOnly 30 seconds? Thatโs cruel.โ
You softly laugh at that but donโt seem to mind as heโs already moving. He stands on his knees and offers you his hands, helping you up with him until youโre facing each other. First, he puts his hands on your waist and then slowly, he pulls you in until thereโs no space left between you.ย And just like that, youโre in his arms.
Your arms loop around his shoulders, one hand drifting up to the back of his head, fingers lightly scratching there. It makes him relax and leans in further, burying his face into the crook of your neck like heโs just found the most comfortable, safest place for him to be.
Time flew by and when you murmur softly that timeโs up, he only tightens his hold.
โGive me likeโฆโ his voice is muffled by your skin. โโฆthirty more hours of it.โ
You chuckle at that and let him, your hand sliding to his back, landing comforting rubs there. And for a moment, he forgets everything else, including the fact that this is a part of a game.
You pull back just enough to look at him and say, โWe have to continue.โ
Reluctantly and with a dramatic pout, he lets you go and the two of you settle back onto the carpeted floor.
You take your turn and you land on the chili pepper. Again. His interest peaked as you grab a card and read it. โSit on your partnerโs lap until your next turn.โ
The grin on his face is so wide that his cheeks hurt. He folds his legs together and pats his lap. โCome, girl. Come on!โ he calls for you like heโs summoning his pet puppy.
The annoyed sigh makes a return as you move and sit on his lap. His arm wraps around your waist immediately, holding you close like youโd float away if he didnโt. He leans in without thinking, sneaking a kiss on your neck. You sharply glare at him for it, but he ignores it as puts his focus on the game.
His piece lands on the question mark and he confidently picks up a card from the stack. โWhen do you find your partner the most beautiful?โ
Hearing the question, you turn your head, looking at him over your shoulder, putting all of your attention on him.
He tosses the card aside, both arms wrapping around you now as he thoughtfully thinking like this is a question that will alter his life. โYouโre the most beautiful whenโฆ youโre working.โ
Your expression is pure confusion for one second and turns a little surprised in the next one.
โWhen youโre focusedโฆ seriousโฆ you have that faint little scowl on your face,โ He can see the way youโre holding yourself back from smiling as he continues. โYouโre too busy taking care ofโฆ everything else you donโt even realize how beautiful you look.โ
You let your smile shows and then narrow your eyes at him. โCorrection! Itโs an adorable scowl,โ you playfully say with a grin.
He nods at that and before your smile disappears, he kisses the corner of your mouth.
โItโs my turn now,โ you say, sliding off his lap. You give a dice a good shake and roll it onto the table. Five. The piece lands on the kiss square.
His eyebrow perks up in excitement as you take the red dice and roll it across the table. It stops just on the edge and on the word, โNeckโ. Before he can even tease you for it, you lean in to place a quick, fleeting kiss press of your lips against his neck. Barely there.
โHey, that doesnโt count,โ he instantly protests.
โBut it was a kiss. On the neck,โ you say, matter-of-factly with a faint grin.
โThat was nothing.โ
You crack a laugh and this time, when you lean in, you lean in slower and more deliberate. Your lips press to his neck, warm and soft, and then, your tongue brushes over the skin in a light, teasing lick. Itโs quick but enough to make his eyes fluttering and sending a shiver down his spine. A quiet inhale slipping from between his parted lips before you pull away, smiling like you know exactly what you just did.
You place the dice in his hand. โYour turn.โ
Hyunjin is still reeling from the kiss and he inhales air to recover from it, shaking the dice in his palm, eyes already locked on a specific square. The chili pepper square. Three steps away. He brings his fist to his mouth, blowing on it like itโll bring him luck and then tosses it.
Three. He lets out a quiet, satisfied hum. He keeps his calm as he picks up the card from the stack and reads it silent.
โThis is fun,โ he mutters with a slow, dangerous smirk stretches across his face.
You lean in, trying to read whatโs written on the card. โWhat does it say?โ
He reads it aloud for you. โTake one piece of your partnerโs clothing off.โ
You groan immediately as you look down and realize thereโs not much to undress as youโre in a dress. โGreat. I shouldโve worn layers.โ
He leans back slightly, considering his options and watching your cute, annoyed face. It seems obvious to you that heโd go for the dress and he lets you think that by reaching for the hem of your dress, lifting it slowly.
Your eyes lock with his as your thighs are now exposed and you slightly lift your hips off the floor as he lifts the hem higher and higher and thenโ
He changes direction, letting go of the hem and slips his hand under, and then higher until his fingers meeting the waistband of your underwear. Your eyes widening in reaction, a low gasp contained behind your pressed lips and that alone is enough to push him further.
He takes his time as he hooks his fingers in the fabric and then pulls it down, slowly and deliberately. He lets out a sigh when the silky fabric comes into sight and keeps his eyes on it as he continues to pull it down your legs until itโs off of you. He shamelessly takes a quick sniff and shoves it into the pocket of his shirt after. Then leans back with a satisfied look, like he just won something.
You shake your head at him, taking a sip of your drink like youโre suddenly thirsty from the little stunt he pulled. You breathe in air before taking the dice in your hand again and roll it. Your piece stands on the square with the heart on it.
You pick up a card from the stack and read it. โWhisper three compliments to your partner.โ
You put the card away with a sigh. โOh, man, I wish I have something nice to say to you,โ you jokingly mutter, giving him a side glance.
Hyunjin only smiles at you and calmly says, โYou can say Iโm charming. Iโm fun to be with. Or that Iโm good at annoying you.โ
โThe last one sounds about right,โ you say with a smile. You scoot closer, bringing your mouth close to his side and get quiet as you think.
When youโre ready, you lean in closer and he tilts his head to meet you halfway. Your lips brushing near his ear as you whisper, โI think youโre a talented artist.โ
He smiles and nods. โA hundred percent agree!โ
You hum as you pause and think again. โYouโre very good at annoying me,โ you whisper.
He opens his mouth to protest but you quickly add, โโฆ As good as making me smile and laugh.โ
And he canโt help but smile at that. He doesnโt expect that one to make his heart fluttering inside his chest.
โAndโฆโ you whisper as you continue.
He softly gazes into your eyes and echoes, โAndโฆ?โ
โYouโre good atโฆโ your words trail off as your finger playing with the button on his shirt, intentionally making him wait for it. When your eyes meet his again, you finally finish the sentence. โYouโre good at making me feel good.โ
That compliment has double entendre and he knows you did that on purpose. Because now he canโt decide whether he should be touched or aroused, or both. But one thing for sure, the compliment gives him a boost of confidence.
You hold his gaze for second longer, letting him read the intention behind your compliments before taking the dice and put it in his hand. โOkay, time to roll.โ
With a sigh, Hyunjin takes the dice in his hand and gets four. The piece lands on the kiss square and he knows his way around the game now. He grabs the red dice. His eyes darken slightly as the dice stops on the word, โFreeโ.
โKiss wherever I wantโฆโ he mutters with a look of mischief.
You only shake your head in defeat, a smile supressed to hide your amusement.
He crawls to you, taking your legs and turning you to face him. He uses his hand to part them open, the hem of your dress covering whatโs in between but not the fact that youโre bare underneath.
You stay where you are, calmly leaning back with your hands propped against the floor, legs parted open. A faint smirk lingering on your lips.
Hyunjin flashes you a seductive smile before lowering his mouth, lower and lower until his head buried between your legs. He presses his nose against your inner thigh, drinking in the scent that clings to your skin.
You remain still as he trails up your thigh and not stopping until his mouth meeting your bare sex, warm and wet. He hums as he inhales the arousing smell and then leans in to kiss your clit. Your body jerks for a fraction as he uses his tongue next, just the tip, circling on your bundle of nerves and then taking it into his mouth again. He got you. He got you good. But the truth is heโs just as affected. Maybe more.
A breathless gasp falls out of your mouth as he continues kissing at your clit. Like heโs making out with it. A hand comes to tangle it in his dark locks, gently tugging at it. โIt says a kiss,โ you tell him.
Hyunjin smiles against your heating cunt and drags his lips to the side, kissing on the skin around your arousal. โIt is a kiss.โ
Then he pulls back just enough to put his tongue out. โItโs oneโโ he pauses to land a lick between your folds. โโฆlongโโ a lick. โโฆcontinuousโโ another lick. โโฆkiss.โ
A soft, amused chuckle escaped your lips as one knee bends higher than the other, toes curling against the carpet. But you manage to stay calm despite the way his tongue and lips hungrily eating your cunt.
โIโm going to take my turn anyway,โ you casually say.
A hand stay tangled in his hair while the other reaches for the dice, shaking it in your palm and toss it onto the table. He can hear the way you shift and move your piece on the board. Thenโ
โI won.โ
With his head buried between your legs and the hem of your dress cloaked over it, Hyunjin couldnโt care less about anything else, whether he wins or loses. Heโs got everything he wants and needs right here, on his mouth.
You tug harder at his hair, forcing him to pull away and he reluctantly detaches his mouth, looking up at you with his mouth glistening wet with your essence. โDidnโt you hear me? I won,โ you tell him.
Hyunjin innocently shrugs and says, โSo?
โThat means I get to do whatever I want,โ you say with a triumphant grin.
His brows knitted into a questioning look. โYou didnโt mention it earlier,โ he grumbles.
You cup the side of his face and coyly smile. โItโs not like you care about the rules and all that.โ
Hyunjin kind of expected that you kept something from him and that whoever wins get to have that privilege. But then again, he doesnโt really care about it. He has you and therefore, he won. Without thinking, he throws himself at you and taking you with him, collapsing onto the carpeted floor. Then wastes not another second to plant his mouth on yours.
The game completely forgotten now as you kiss him back, legs wrapping around his waist as you draw him close until thereโs not even an inch left between your bodies. You let him put his weight on you, arms wrapped around his back as he deepens the kiss, kissing you without restraint now.
When he deems you need a second to breathe, he lets go. His big hand frames the side of your face, keeping you still so he can stare at your face as he pleases.
โI won,โ you say again, a hand braced against his chest.
โYeah, I heard the first time,โ he waves you off while continuously gazing into your eyes.
You glide your hand up to his neck, feeling his pulse there and smiles. โItโs time for the real fun plan,โ you declare.
His brows lift in curiosity. โWhat is it?โ
Your hand reaches under the table and pulls out the box. He immediately recognizes it as a welcome gift from the pharmaceutical company. You lift the lid, put your hand inside to look for something without looking. Once you found it, you lift it up.
Furry handcuffs. His eyes slightly widen at it while you tilt your head slightly, a teasing smile tugging at your lips. โThe fun plan.โ
-
The bed makes a soft creak as you get on top of him again, straddling his hips, your weight grounding him into the mattress as your lips crash into his. The kiss is unlike ones youโve given him before. Itโs heat and urgency and something reckless threaded through it. His breath catches against your mouth as he tries to keep up, hands feeling you through your clothes.
Youโre just as impatient, clumsy fingers working on his shirt, tugging at buttons like you donโt have the patience to do it properly.
He huffs a quiet laugh into the kiss, half breathless, half wrecked by it. The sound dissolves when your mouth presses harder, stealing whatever thought he had left. So he gives in, pushing himself up just enough to shrug the shirt off his shoulders, tossing it somewhere behind him without looking.
You donโt even pause. Your lips are back on his instantly, coming at him like youโve been waiting for it and he lets himself fall back again, fully pinned beneath you as you take what you want, and he gives it just as eagerly. His hands tighten on you, pulling you closer, like thereโs still space left between your bodies when there isnโt.
When you finally pull away, his chest rises and falls a little faster, eyes already searching yours.
โItโs fun time,โ you breathlessly murmur with a wicked smile.
โIs that necessary?โ he asks, head tipping back slightly as you bring the handcuffs back into view.
โYes,โ you answer without a beat.
โI swear Iโll keep my hands off. All the time,โ he assures though his eyes hinting at mischief.
You drop your head to the side, eyes staring into his. โWhy? You donโt trust me?โ
He scoffs lightly, a playful edge to it. โYeah. I donโt.โ
โExactly.โ
Despite his reluctance, he doesnโt move, doesnโt stop you when you reach for his hand. Instead, he watches the way your fingers wrap around his wrist, the way you put too much focus as you secure one cuff and guide his arm up, looping it around the headboard until thereโs a soft click and then another. His other hand follows and just like that, his movement is limited. His arms stretched, restrained and the faint clink of metal echoing in the room.
Hyunjin tests it once, just enough to feel the resistance. Then he sees you, catching that look on your face โ of satisfaction and amusement.
He tilts his head, voice softening, tone coaxing. โYou could at least let one of my hands free.โ
You shake your head immediately. โNo. Canโt do.โ
The answer sounds final and non-negotiable. Your hand comes up to cup his jaw, thumb brushing along his cheek as you look down at him like youโve already decided everything.
โItโd be fun to blindfold you too,โ you add, almost thoughtfully. โButโฆ I want you to see everything.โ
Oh, you really do know how to drive him crazy. How to get him aroused and excited and waiting for you in anticipation. Before he can guess what youโre going to do next, you lean down and kiss him again before pulling back with a grin that feels like a secret.
โFirst things first,โ you say as you shift back, your gaze dropping, and his follows without thinking. โI kind of made a mess.โ
Hyunjin glances down, bending his leg slightly and yeah, there it is. A darkened, wet patch on his jeans. He guesses youโve been rubbing yourself against his thigh. He lets out a breath through his nose, half amused, halfโฆ fucking aroused.
You donโt look sorry at all, if anything, youโre pleased by it. โSo letโs take these off first,โ you say, reaching for the waistband of his jeans.
His chest caves as he holds his breath, watching as your fingers work the button open, then the zipper in such calmness that somehow arouses him. He lifts his hips instinctively to help you get it off, watching the way you donโt hesitate or falter.
Once the jeans are out of the way, your eyes automatically land on the evident proof of how aroused he is. To his hardening member, flushed and pulsating with so much desire. A small lift of your brow is enough to say that youโre impressed by what youโre seeing. And you just have no idea what it does to him, do you?
You sit back then, taking in the sight of his naked body against the white sheets with hands chained up and all of him, restrained and aroused under you. Just for you. โIโll make it fair,โ you say.
It gets him clueless for a second until you reach for the zipper at the back of your dress. He doesnโt realize how still heโs gone until the sound of it sliding down fills the room and the fabric slips away. Your hands reaching to the back again, unclasping your bra and then toss it away.
And just like that, thereโs nothing left between his gaze and you now.
The cuffs clink softly as his hands shift, instinct pulling against restraint, a quiet frustration threading through the want that hits him all at once. He wants to touch you, kiss you, feel you whole. He wants to be all over you. He didnโt even realize how much he missed this. You and your heavenly body. His eyes darkening as he looks you, eyes trailing every line, every curve of you.
You notice. He knows you do from that little smirk flickers across your lips before you brush it off like itโs nothing, already moving on. โNow for the fun part.โ
Your voice turns low and sultry, enough to make his stomach tighten. You reach toward the nightstand, dragging the box onto the bed, pushing the lid aside that it falls onto the floor.
Hyunjin watches with curiosity as your hand disappears inside for a second and then comes back holding a small bottle.
You lift it, tilting it just enough for him to see it. โIโm sure you remember this.โ
From the familiar package, he recognizes it right away. Edible lubricant. He huffs a quiet laugh, head tipping back for a second before he looks at you again with double the intensity in his gaze. โOf course I do.โ
The way you smile after that tells him heโs in trouble. You open the bottle and tilt it over the back of your hand. The small, clear drop glistens against your skin, you lean in and taste it.
โIt tastes just like watermelon,โ you say, almost surprised.
That pulls a low chuckle out of him, amused. โWhat were you expecting?โ he asks, voice warm, a little rough.
You shrug, entirely unfazed. โItโs not as good as the cherry one, butโฆ not bad.โ
The casual way you say it does nothing to ease the tension curling tight in his chest. If anything, it makes it worse. He notices the way your gaze shifts lower, to the noticeable erection and his breath dips when you bring the bottle closer, positioning it over him without hesitation.
โOopsโฆโ you lowly gasp as you squeeze lubricant onto his cock. But the way you say it doesnโt sound like youโre sorry at all.
Hyunjin grips at the chain on his handcuffs, bracing himself for whatโs coming for him. Yet a shiver running through him as the cool sensation hits him as you add a little more and watch it drips down his length.
Your lips curve as you toss the bottle away like itโs already served its purpose. You look at him and keep your eyes on him as youโre using your hand next, lathering the lubricant down his shaft. Your fingers lightly tickling the crest and tighten when it goes down. By the time your hand wrapped around the base, he sharply exhales through his nose.
Your hand trailing over him once more before settling into steady movements, slowly and deliberately, like youโre learning the reaction, memorizing it.
Hyunjin swallows, eyes locked on yours, the tension in his body pulling tighter with every second you take your time. The way you hold his gaze while pumping him, the way you donโt look away, not even for a secondโsays everything. And itโs the eye contact that gets to him more than anything.
His fingers curl uselessly against the restraint, metal knocking softly against wood as his body reacts, every instinct telling him to reach for you, to pull you closer, but he canโt. The fact that you notice his struggle and do nothing about it is cruel, but it only sends another wave of heat through him.
When you lean down, he stops breathing for a second, half-lidded eyes watching you as you smearing some more lubricant around the head and then lick your fingers after.
โAre you going to put it into your mouth?โ he asks, voice heavy with lust.
You put your index finger into your mouth and slowly pulls it away. โShould I?โ
Hyunjin forces himself to stay calm after watching that and manages to put on a smirk. โNot sure you can take it though,โ he says with a challenging tone.
You only reply with low, flirty giggles and you drop your body lower until your chest hovering above his thighs. You put a hand over him, resting your head on it as your hand mindlessly playing with his cock, taking your time with it. Finger lightly tracing the shape, thumb pressing on the little slit on the tip as you watch it with almost bored eyes.
He scoffs a laugh, watching you treat his cock like a mere toy but fuck, that is just so fucking hot. He doesnโt know you have this wild side of you and wishes heโd see it often in the future.
โYouโre making a mess of it,โ he protests, voice rough around the edges. โYou should clean it up.โ
You lift your head and then nonchalantly shrug. โMaybe I should.โ
And with that, you lean in and start licking the tip. Your tongue swirls around it repeatedly, licking the lubricant clean before dragging it down his shaft. You tilt your head to the other side, doing the same thing on the other side. The hold around him tighten just slightly as you lift his length, keeping it up as you head for the base, teasing his knob by lightly sucking on it.
โFuck, baby,โ he blurts out. Heโs pretty sure you feel him twitching in your hand just now, clearly not expecting that.
You pull back with a sly smile on your face and you give him no time to recover as you put him into your mouth. You donโt go easy on him, you hollowed out your cheeks and suck him hard. A hand compensates the rest that you canโt take.
โOh, fuck, look at that mouthโฆโ he hisses through his gritted teeth. Thereโs a hint of a smile in his voice. A surrender he didnโt mean to give. Hands straining against the handcuffs like he could break away from the sheer will alone.
Just as he starts to sink into it, to the feel of your mouth around him and the way you please, just as heโs about to give in completely, you stop and pull back. He almost sighs out of frustration. Almost.
โWait,โ you say lightly, like youโve just thought of something. โI need to get on a better position.โ
You donโt wait for him to ask or say anything, you crawl over him and turn, straddling him again, knees bracing each side of his waist, but this time, your back is facing him. You glance over your shoulder, eyes glinting with something playful, something a little wicked.
โEnjoy the view.โ
Hyunjinโs fingers curl again, instinct taking over as he strains against the restraint only to be met with the sharp, unyielding reminder of metal against wood. โFuckโฆโ he exhales under his breath, half a groan, half a laugh, because youโre right there and he canโt even touch you.
A soft, almost mocking laugh slipped out of you as you turn your head back and then, you lean down. Again, not giving him time to brace himself as you take him into your mouth.
The feeling of your mouth alone is enough to drive him mad but god, you know how to take it further by intentionally jutting your ass higher, exposing your cunt, soaking wet with arousal, giving him a view you know he canโt do anything about.
Instinctively, he lifts his head, leaning forward as much as he can, just enough to put his mouth on you, but failed. He swears under his breath, strained laugh following right after.
His head falling back for a second before lifting again, strained his neck forward, trying to reach you, even just a little. He barely gets anywhere before gravity wins, dropping him back onto the pillow with a frustrated groan. And it frustrates him so much because youโre so close, yet out of his reach.
โYouโre so wet, baby. Youโre dripping for me,โ he sighs, voice rough, edged with something dangerously close to desperation.
The chain rattles again when his hands flex, a sharp inhale catching in his chest as he fights the urge to just grab you, pull you down, close the distance himself.
You seem to have finally noticed his struggle as you pause for a second and glance over your shoulder. โYou okay back there?โ you ask too casually.
He lets out a breathless laugh, eyes narrowing slightly. โYou think?โ he shoots back, but thereโs no harshness to it. Just heat, just frustration tangled up with want.
You only smile and then youโre right back to it, like nothing happened. Mouth sucking hard, tongue tickling the tip, hand wrapped tightly around the base, endlessly pleasing him.
Hyunjinโs head falls back again, a deeper groan slipping out now as his control starts slipping through his fingers. He shifts under you, restless, unable to stay still anymore, the tension in him coiling tighter and tighter.
When he opens his eyes, the sight of your dripping cunt tantalizes him once more. โLet me have you on my mouth. Let me taste you,โ he says in a rush, voice rough and barely held together like he needs it. Urgently needs it.
You pause again, letting go of him with a loud pop and looking at him with your lips glistening wet. โWhat was that?โ you ask, like you didnโt hear him.
He lets out a disbelieving huff, almost laughing despite himself. โWant you on my mouth,โ he says without stuttering.
That gets you smirking and swiftly, you turn anyway, shifting until youโre facing him again, straddling him like beforeโexcept now, his view is filled with you, your face, your eyes, that expression that tells him youโre enjoying every second of this. Your hand comes up, thumb brushing lightly over his lips, tracing the shape of them in a way that makes his breath quivers.
โYou want me on your mouth, you say?โ you murmur softly.
He nods immediately, no hesitation, lips parting slightly beneath your touch. โYeah, I do.โ
You lean closer, hovering just above him, close enough that he can feel your breath. โSay it properly,โ you whisper.
Hyunjinโs patience has run thin and he breaks whatever composure he had left. โI want your wet pussy on my mouth and ride it endlessly,โ both his voice and his gaze donโt waver as he says it.
You smile, satisfied with what you heard but you take your time after that, making him wait, to let it sink in, to let the anticipation stretch until it almost hurts.
โOkay,โ you finally answer and a beat later, you add, โBut only for a bit.โ
He nods immediately, almost too quickly, like heโs afraid youโll take it back if he hesitates. And when you move closer, when his world narrows down to just you, his eyes darkening and completely focused on you.
You slowly lower yourself on him and his head tilts up instinctively, meeting you halfway, taking whatever you give without question, without restraint. Thereโs no hesitation in him nowโonly want, only the need to feel you, to be this close.
His hands pull again against the cuffs, useless, but he doesnโt even care anymore. Not when he finally gets what he wants. Not when he finally has you like this. Not when your wet pussy presses on his mouth.
A hand gripped the headboard to steady yourself and the other grabs at the crown of his hair, tugging at it as youโre moving your hips, riding his mouth as you please. When he darts his tongue out, you switch into pulsating your hips against him, letting his tongue fucking your little hole.
โOh, godโฆโ you breathlessly moan with your head tilted back, overwhelmed.
He smirks against your flesh and opens his mouth wider, taking more of you, letting your essence flooding his mouth. Breathing become second in his priorities and what comes first is you, you and you. And just as quickly as it builds, you pull away.
Hyunjin exhales sharply, a quiet protest slipping out before he can stop it, his head falling back again, chest rising and falling unevenly. โJust a little bit more,โ he breathlessly mutters, licking at his lower lip after.
You donโt submit to his wish but instead, you get off of him and lay down beside him. Half of your body overlaps him, hand reaching for his chin and turn his head your way, leaning in to press your lips against him. Then youโre kissing him, slowly yet passionately, like youโre making up for it.
He responds immediately, kissing you back and deepening it, tasting himself on you as youโre tasting yourself on him, and it does something to him thatโs almost overwhelming. His hands flex again, frustrated, wanting to hold you properly.
As your lips continue locked with his in a heated kiss, your hand moving down south, finding his stiff member and begin slowly stroking on it
When the kiss breaks, he exhales against your lips, still close, still hovering. โAre you going to let me out of these now?โ he asks, hopeful, but still edged with that same heat.
You softly smile at him and for a second, he thinks you might. But then you pull away and say, โNot yet.โ
He lets out a soft groan, head dropping back again. But you completely ignore that, already reaching for the box again, pulling something else out this time. A pack of condom.
โLetโs put this one first,โ you say, holding it up. โJust to be safe.โ
Hyunjin watches every second of it. The careful way you tear the foil, slower than necessary like youโre aware heโs looking. His head rests back against the pillow but his eyes continue tracking your hands as you put it on him next.
You put so much focus on it, a crease formed between your brows like you canโt mess this up. Using your finger, you roll the rubber down his length.
โYouโre getting good at that,โ he mutters, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.
You donโt even look up. Just finish what youโre doing with that same quiet concentration before answering, almost casually, โWell, Iโve had a lot of practice.โ
That earns a low chuckle from him, something amused and disbelieving, but it fades the moment you crawl back over him and your lips meet his again. Thereโs something about the kiss now, itโs not rushed, not frantic, justโฆ warm and deep and consuming in a different way.
He melts into it despite himself, tilting his head, chasing it when you shift, trying to pull you closer even when he canโt.
When you pull away, he chases after your lips. โAre you going to let me out of these now?โ he asks, softer now.
You press a quick kiss to his lips only to say, โNo.โ
And just like that, he drops his head back with a helpless groan. But he doesnโt fight it anymore. Not when you settle over him again and grab the bottle of edible lubricant, squeezing the content onto your palm. Then you rub it all over his cock.
He shudders, hips jerking for a fraction and every reaction only seems to amuse you more, and he can see it now. The way your lips curve, the way your eyes flick up to check on him like youโre studying him. And yeah, heโs done for.
He exhales sharply when you begin stroking him again, hands tightening uselessly against the cuffs, the soft clink of metal punctuating the moment as he sinks back into the pillow.
Thereโs no winning here. Not when youโre like this.
โWhen are you going to let me go?โ he asks, almost like a whine, like he knows it might get to you.
You lean in, close enough that he thinks youโre going to kiss him, but you stop with your lips hovering just a breath away from his. โUntil Iโm done,โ you murmur.
Something about that certainty, the confidence undoes him. His gaze stays locked on yours, unwavering, even as you scoot closer, allowing you to rub his length against your wetness, pressing the tip on your clit.
Then, you slightly lift yourself as you positioning his cock into your entrance. Without the slightest of hesitation, you ease yourself down on him, pausing after an inch or two, letting out a breathless moan of pain and pleasure.
Hyunjin canโt look away. His eyes stuck to the way youโre taking more and more of him into you. The tension coiled inside him now, jaw tightening briefly before relaxing again, eyes focused on the way heโs disappearing into you. He lets himself fall into the feel of you, the warmth and tightness, into the way you easily take all of him like you were made for him.
To calm himself down, Hyunjin deeply inhales air before letting it out in one long, shaky exhale. โLook at you nowโฆ you take me so damn well,โ he sweetly praises.
Instead of answering, youโre putting your hands on his chest, lowly giggling and moaning like something tickles you. A foolish, satisfied grin filled your face.
โHave you always been this tight,โ he sighs, subtly rolling his hips to feel you around him. โOr itโs because I havenโt fucked you in so long?โ
You donโt deny nor confirm, but you suddenly clench around him, earning a raw groan from him. A smirk tugging at you lips as you begin rolling your hips in slow, circular motions, making his groans grow louder and unrestrained now. A moment later, you move by pulsating your hips against him.
Hyunjin keeps his eyes on you, the way his cock slips in and out of you, the way your breasts bouncing along to your movements, making him once again, uselessly trying to break away from the cuffs that restrained him.
The sound of your breathless, sultry moans thatโs echoing in the room doesnโt help, heโs completely into this intimacy that feels less physical, more emotional. And because itโs not just the feelingโitโs you. The way your expression shifts, the way your confidence flickers into something more vulnerable for just a moment, the way you stay right there with him, holding his gaze like this is something shared, not one-sided.
He stays where he is, telling himself to be present in this moment with eyes looking at you in admiration and want. He puts aside his needs, letting you have him, letting you take what you want from him. And he can see the way you tirelessly moving, chasing for it.
When the tension finally peaks and you come around him, he watches you through it, doesnโt look away, doesnโt miss a second of it. Because thatโs what he wanted, just you, like this, with him.
When you melt against him, your body warm and pliant on top of his, your breathing uneven, matching his in soft, staggered rhythm. He lets his head fall back for a second, eyes closing, trying to steady himself but it doesnโt last long. Not when youโre right there. Not when he can feel you like this, close and real and his.
He needs to touch you, holds you so he nudges his forehead lightly against yours. โCan you let me go now?โ he murmurs, voice turning breathless at the end of the sentence.
You lift your head just enough to look at him, eyes heavy-lidded, lips curved in that slow, knowing smile and he already knows youโre going to say yes before you do. โOkay.โ
You grab the keys from the nightstand, eyes half-focused as you unlock it until thereโs the soft click of the cuffs.
The second they fall away, his hands are on you. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you down against him, holding you tight like heโs been waiting for this, like heโs been patient for far too long. His lips find yours again, kissing you deeper, claiming.
As he keeps your mouth busy with kisses, his hand reaches down between your bodies, taking his cock and slips it between your legs, rubbing it against your heating wetness. He feels the little, breathless gasps you make against his mouth. It drives him further, impatient to be inside you again and he does, slipping his stiff member back into you in one smooth slide until heโs completely buried in you again.
He softly groans into your mouth, feeling you still quivering from your previous orgasm. His hands slide along your back and move sideways, taking your hands in him and then folds them together. He keeps them there, grounding you against him as his lips trail the column of your throat and jaw, and only to return to your lips, hastily kissing you.
You laugh softly against his mouth and mutters, โBeen waiting for that, huh?โ
He doesnโt answer. Instead, he begins moving his hips, bucking into you from under. Soon, the sound of your shared breaths mixing with the squelching sounds of his cock ramming into you, slow but purposeful.
โMissed you. Missed the way you feel,โ he sighs into the curve of your neck, breath hot and tickling. โAnd the way you cling to my cock.โ
From those words alone, you clench around him tighter, moaning his name in incoherent, breathless pleads for more โof this, of him. And of course, heโll give it to you. Anything for you.
Everything that follows feels less like a game and more like something inevitable. Like all that tension, all those moments before, have finally found somewhere to go. His movements are no longer restrained, no longer careful in the same wayโtheyโre certain, driven by the way you respond to him, the way you cling to him, the way your breath turns ragged.
And honestly, Hyunjin canโt hold himself back anymore so he finally, finally lets himself go with your name caught somewhere between a breath and a whisper.
Afterward, he brings your hands and lets them fall round his shoulders as he puts his around you, holding you close like youโre not already pressed onto him.
You lift your head, mouth instinctively finding his and taking it for an earned, slow kiss, a kiss that guides him to gradually come down from his high. When you pull away, you pull away with a soft smile. โHave you always come this fast or is it because we havenโt fucked for so long?โ
This is your way to get back at him and he lets out a breathless laugh in response, a little tired and still undone. โBoth,โ he shamelessly answers.
You laugh at that, sending his body shaking along with your laughter. It feels warm and nice as his arm stays wrapped around you, hand resting at your back, thumb tracing slow, absentminded patterns against your skin. You fit there too easily. Like youโve always known the shape of him.
Hyunjin tilts his head slightly, cheek brushing against your hair, eyes half-lidded as he stares at the ceiling. โYouโre a lot to handle, you know that?โ he says with a smile still lingering on his lip. A lazy, satisfied smug.
He feels your quiet laugh against his chest before he hears it. โYouโre just saying that because you lost.โ
His scoff is more breath than anything. His fingers pause for a second before resuming their slow drawing on your skin. โLost?โ he echoes, like the word doesnโt quite sit right with him.
You shift just enough to look at him, chin propped lightly against his chest, eyes curious but already amusedโlike youโre waiting for whatever nonsense heโs about to say next. โYes. You lost, sir,โ you playfully say.
Hyunjin looks at you, the way your hair is a little messy, lips still soft and flushed, eyes warm and bright in a way that makes him take a second to imprint this into the back of his head. He exhales through his nose, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. โStill unfair though,โ he says after a moment, tone light and teasing. โYou set me up from the start.โ
You scoff softly, nudging his chest. โYou agreed to play.โ
โDidnโt know the stakes were this high.โ
โThatโs because you donโt read the rules.โ
He chuckles at that, the sound rumbling beneath your ear. โWouldnโt have changed my answer anyway.โ
โSince when do you care about the rules anyway,โ you conclude, easily resting your head on his chest like youโve decided that itโs your safe place.
For once, Hyunjin doesnโt feel the need to fill the silence. He just stays with you. His hand drifts lazily along your arm, then back again, grounding himself in the simple fact that youโre here, still close, still warm against him.
โNext time, Iโm picking the game,โ he suddenly declares.
You tilt your head slightly, smiling against his chest. โSure you are.โ
He smiles too, eyes closing for a second as he rests his cheek against your hair again.
But his arm doesnโt loosen. If anything, it tightens just a little like heโs not quite ready to let you go yet. And maybe he wonโt be. Not anytime soon.
-
The next morning, you wake up to the warmth seeping from behind you, the weight of an arm draped securely around your waist and then the faint brush of lips against your shoulderโฆ your neckโฆ light and almost lazy, like whoeverโs behind you has nowhere else to be.
You hum softly, still half-asleep, shifting just enough to tuck yourself closer.
Noticing it, Hyunjin exhales against your skin, amused. โSo youโre awake,โ he murmurs, voice still thick with sleep, lips ghosting along your shoulder again.
You donโt answer right away. Just tilt your head slightly, giving him more space without even thinking about it. โMmโฆ depends. Are you going to keep doing that?โ
His low chuckles vibrating through you. โProbably.โ
Thatโs enough of an answer. You turn slowly in his arms, eyes still heavy with sleep, and find him already looking at you with messy hair, eyes soft, lips curved into that small, sleepy smile that feels too attractive for how early it is. Or late. You donโt even know what time it is anymore.
His hand comes up, brushing your hair away from your face, thumb lingering along your cheek. โMorning,โ he says.
You huff a quiet laugh. โPretty sure itโs not morning.โ
โStill counts.โ
You donโt argue because he leans in and softly kisses you like heโs easing into it instead of chasing anything. It lingers just long enough to make your chest feel warm before he pulls back, forehead resting lightly against yours.
And just like thatโฆ the day starts.
-
The rest of the vacation turns into a blur after that.
Youโre in the passenger seat with the windows down, wind tugging at your hair while Hyunjin drives with one hand on the wheel and the other lazily resting on your thigh. Music plays low in the background and every now and then, he glances over at you like heโs checking youโre still there. Like you might disappear if he doesnโt.
But here you are, choosing to stay. In this. With him.
You wander through little streets youโve never seen before, duck into random shops just because something in the window catches your eye. You try things on, hold things up to him, laugh when he gives you opinions you didnโt ask for.
โYouโre unhelpful,โ you tell him at one point.
โI like everything on you,โ he easily replies.
You roll your eyes, but you donโt put the item back.
-
In every place you visit, Hyunjin makes sure to take photos, documenting everything, every moment. Of the sea, of the sky, of random corners that feel oddly beautiful and of each other. He catches you mid-laugh more than once, camera lifted before you can hide it, and you groan every time.
โDelete that.โ
โNo.โ
โHyunjinโโ
โItโs good.โ
โBecause you like my annoyed face more than anything, huh?โ
โYep.โ
When it gets too hot and the sea looks too tempting, you both end up in the water. The ocean water somehow feels cool against your skin but not biting. You splash him first this time, unprovoked, and he stares at you like heโs offended. Then immediately retaliates.
It turns into a mess of laughter and water and hands grabbing at each other to stay upright, neither of you really trying to win anything.
Just trying to stay close.
-
By the time night falls, youโre both exhausted in the good kind. Yet, you always get each other in the best way. In the best, most seductive way.
Some nights, he has you bent over the edge of the bed, lips making a trail of kisses down your spine before he enters you from behind, one hand pressed onto your shoulder, pining you down as he thrusts into you, and not stopping until you fall apart around him.
Some other nights, you barely make it back to the bed. Once, you settled onto the sofa, clothes littering the hotel floor, limbs tangled, a cushion propped under you, giving him that delicious angle to thrust into you deeper. Though it doesnโt stop you from asking him to get deeper inside you.
The second him, your hands braced against the floor-to-ceiling window, your breath fogging the glass as you moan from the way Hyunjin hungrily eating you from behind, tongue jamming into your hole as one hand curve around, fingers skilfully circling on your clit. Your legs shake as you come into his mouth and he doesnโt wait, he turns you around, an arm lifts you and keeps you off the floor, ย one hand impatiently lining his cock with your entrance and once heโs fully sheathed in your warm, tight walls, he fucks you tirelessly, making you loudly moaning that you sure whoever stays in the next room could hear it.
And in each time, the room eventually fades into background noise and you end up in each otherโs arms. You learn that the only thing that matters is the way he holds you, the way he stays close and most importantly, choosing to stay.
And each time, before sleep gets to you, you think about how easy this feels. How right.How you wish, just for a second, maybe longerโฆ That life could stay like this.
-
You donโt realize how quickly itโs ending until you start gathering your things. It hits you somewhere between folding a shirt and setting aside the small souvenirs youโve picked up over the past few days. You move slowly, almost reluctantly because something in you resists finishing it.
โAlready packing?โ Hyunjinโs voice drifts from behind you.
You glance over your shoulder, offering a small shrug. โJustโฆ putting things together. Iโll pack later.โ
He leans against the wall, watching you in silence like he understands exactly what youโre doing and why. After a moment, he offers you a comforting smile and asks, โWant to go out and watch the sunset?โ
You keep your suitcase open, half-packed and ditch it entirely. โSure,โ you answer without thinking, already getting on your feet.
The beach greets you again like it always has. The sand is cool beneath you as you sit, shoulders brushing, hands naturally lacing together like itโs something youโve always done. The sky is painted in warm hues, the sun slowly dipping lower, stretching the moment as if itโs giving you time.
You lean slightly into him and softly sigh. โCanโt believe this is the last day,โ you say, a little incredulous, a little reluctant.
Hyunjin lets out a quiet breath beside you. โYeah.โ
You turn your head just enough to look at him. โWe spent it well though, right?โ Thereโs a hint of something in your voice like you need to hear it.
โYeah,โ he says again, softer this time. Then he leans in, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, offering comfort as best as he can.
You smile into it and when you pull back, you rest your head on his shoulder, watching as the sun sinks lower and lower until it finally disappears beneath the horizon, marking that another day has gone.
-
The two of you decide to have dinner out, probably something special to commemorate the moment. You walk side by side, fingers loosely lacing together until they eventually intertwine without either of you making a big deal out of it.
After browsing through some restaurants and their menus, you settle on one that seems exactly like what youโve been craving.
โIโd love the chicken pesto pasta for dinner,โ you mutter, getting hungry just from the picture of it.
Hyunjinโs eyes are still scanning the menu as he comments, โYeah, that looks nice.โ
โWe could share the steak,โ you add as he flips into a new page.
โGood plan,โ he says with a smile.
After a mutual agreement and strategically planned dinner meals, the two of you walk up to the waiter. โTable for two, please!โ Hyunjin politely says.
The waiter offers an apologetic smile as she says, โSorry, weโre fully booked tonight.โ
The excitement inside you deflates and turns into a frown, turning to Hyunjin like he somehow could fix it. โI really wanted thatโฆโ
He patiently and softly smiles at you. โIโm sure weโll find somewhere else to have dinner.โ
You let out a short, heavy sigh before accepting it. โOkay.โ
He doesnโt miss the way youโre still frowning so he leans in and kisses you without warning.
You lowly gasp in surprise and crack a laugh, feeling lifted up already.
โLetโs go,โ he says, taking your hand, fingers threading through yours again. โWeโll find something better.โ
You let him pull you along but three steps later, you hear a voice calling for you. โHey!โ
You and Hyunjin turn almost in sync and the second you recognize them, your face lights up.
โJulesโDiane!โ
They look just as delighted, already moving toward you, arms open for quick hugs that feel oddly familiar despite how little time youโve actually spent together. โWell, look at this! Our favorite couple,โ Jules beams.
You and Hyunjin laugh at the same time, instinctively. โItโs so nice to see you again,โ you say with a bright smile.
โArenโt you guys getting dinner?โ Diane asks, hand vaguely gesturing toward the restaurant.
โWell, yeah. But itโs fully booked,โ you answer.
ย โWe have a reservation. We can share the table,โ Diane immediately offers.
This time, Hyunjin cuts in by kindly refusing the offer. โOh, no. Itโs okay. You guys should enjoy your dinner.
โOh, nonsense,โ Diane waves it off immediately. โIโm sure they can arrange something and make it dinner for four.โ
You kindly refuse again, smiling as you do. โOhโyou should enjoy that then, we canโโ
โAlso, because weโre sick of each other. We really need to talk to other people,โ Jules playfully says with a serious face.
โNo, itโs okay,โ you insist gently, shaking your head. โReally, we donโt want toโโ
โItโs settled,โ Diane says, already turning back toward the restaurant like the conversation is over. โWeโll just tell them.โ
โDianeโโ Jules laughs, but sheโs already hooking her arm through yours, tugging you along anyway. โCome on, itโll be fun.โ
You glance back at Hyunjin, caught between protest and amusement. He just shakes his head lightly, lips curved into a small smile like he saw this coming and then follows without a word.
-
Dinner settles into something easy and comfortable in a way that feels almost surprising, considering how all of this started.
The four of you sit around the table, laughter woven in between bites of food and sips of wine, stories overlapping, little interruptions that donโt feel rudeโjustโฆ lived-in. You find yourself leaning in more than you usually would, listening, talking, laughing without overthinking it.
Jules dabs the corner of her lips with her napkin before smiling at the two of you. โSo, what have you two been up to all week?โ she asks, eyes bright with curiosity.
You glance at Hyunjin instinctively before answering, like the memories are shared between you. โA bit of everything. Beach, shopping, exploringโฆ eating way too much.โ
Hyunjin hums in agreement beside you. โSheโs not exaggerating.โ
You nudge him lightly under the table. โThis is actually our last day. Weโre flying home tomorrow,โ you share with a melancholic smile.
Julesโ expression drops into something genuinely sympathetic. โAlready?โ
Diane sighs, shaking her head. โThatโs just rude. Time shouldnโt move that fast on vacation.โ
You laugh softly, but thereโs a quiet truth in it. โI think itโs because we enjoyed it too much,โ you admit.
Thereโs a brief pause and then Diane leans forward slightly, eyes flicking between you and Hyunjin, a playful glint returning. โSoโฆโ she says, dragging the word just a little, โare you two still co-workers?โ
You choke slightly on your drink. Heat rushes to your face instantly, your mind flashing back to earlier where Hyunjin kissed you and they must have seen everything. You glance at him, letting him answer this one.
โYeah,โ he says casually, reaching for his glass. โStill co-workers.โ
Then, without missing a beat, he adds, โSadly, I still need the paycheck.โ
The table bursts into laughter. Diane shakes her head, smiling knowingly. โOh, please. Thereโs definitely something going on here.โ
You skip on answering again. You just smile a small, shy smile, a little caught.
โThere is,โ he says lightly like itโs no big deal. โIโve liked her for a while but she didnโt know it.โ
You keep your calm, eyes on the glass of wine youโre holding as youโre listening to his side of story.
โBut once she did,โ he continues, like heโs telling a harmless story. โSheโs playing hard to get.โ
Your head automatically turn toward him and stare at him in disbelief. โExcuse me?โ
Jules and Diane laugh again, clearly enjoying every second of this. Diane looks at you then, softer this time, her smile warm as she says, โYouโre doing the right thing.โ
You smile at that before looking at Hyunjin again and give his knee a gentle slap under the table, a playful warning. But you can see that it doesnโt affect him whatsoever as he only grins in reaction.
By the time dessert comes, youโre comfortably full, but you still take another bite anyway. Itโs too good not to.
Hyunjin excuses himself to the restroom and youโre watching him go for a second before turning back to your plate.
Jules notices your expression immediately. โGlad youโre enjoying the food,โ she says with a soft smile.
You quickly wipe your mouth with your napkin, a little embarrassed. โEverything is justโฆ really good.โ
Diane nods approvingly. โWorth the trouble earlier.โ
Jules looks at you, thereโs hesitation in her eyes but she eventually leans in anyway. โI hope you donโt mind me asking. But โฆ what took you this long?โ
You put down your dessert spoon. โPardon me?โ
โI mean, I donโt know him that well but I can see that Hyunjin is great. And that boy is in love with you,โ Jules explains, rather too seriously.
Youโre a little taken aback by the mention of that word. Love. โI wouldnโt sayโโ
โHeโs got these twinkles in his eyes every time he looks at you,โ Diane cuts in before sipping her wine.
โSo why do you hesitate much?โ Jules asks again.
Your fingers curl lightly around your glass as you take a sip of water, buying yourself a second to think. You look at Diane and Jules and realize that youโve only known them in matter of hours, but you feel comfortable to share openly.
โI thinkโฆโ you start slowly, eyes dropping to the table for a moment, โI had this idea in my head that Iโmโฆ hard to love.โ
The words come out lighter than you expect despite the fact that youโve never shared this with anyone before. โAnd likeโฆ easy to leave.โ
The table quiets like your openness, your honestly dazzle them. Jules reaches over without hesitation, her hand resting over yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. โI know it can feel that way. But thatโs not the truth,โ she says, voice as soft as her gaze. โThereโs no such thing as someone being hard to love. Sometimes people just donโt try hard enough. Or theyโre not patient enough to learn how.โ
Something in your chest loosens at that. You hadnโt realized how tightly you were holding onto it and how you let it held you back from getting what you want, what you deserve.
โYouโre not hard to love,โ Jules assures you once again, her other hand tapping gently at the back of your hand now.
โYou know, I believe Hyunjin would give you the world,โ Diane suddenly says, slightly off topic. But then she adds, โAll you have to do is ask for it.โ
You take a second to process their words and let them sink into you. Then you nod. โThank you,โ you genuinely say in gratitude.
You let out a short laugh of disbelief because you didnโt think that you would hear these words from two strangers and yet, they seem to know what you needed to hear. Like itโs meant to be.
โWere you talking about me?โ Hyunjin says when he returns, sliding back into his seat and looking the three of you, suspiciously amused.
Diane doesnโt even hesitate. โYes.โ
You and Jules burst out laughing. Diane follows after sipping her wine.
Hyunjin blinks, caught off guard for half a second before he laughs too. โWow.โ
โWe also talked if we should do a round of drinks since this is your last day,โ Jules adds, already opening the cocktails menu.
โThat might be a problem,โ Hyunjin says with a faint grimace.
You glance at him, sensing that heโs doing something. Something that is most likely mischievous. โWhat did you do?โ
He shrugs and then digs into his dessert. โI already paid for everything.โ
Jules and Diane immediately soften at that.
โThatโs very kind of you,โ Jules says.
Diane turns to you dramatically. โMarry him already.โ
You laugh, shaking your head.
Jules flags down a waiter anyway. โWell, the drinks are on us,โ she insists.
Hyunjin doesnโt even argue and instead, he playfully says, โLetโs make it three rounds then.โ
โDeal,โ Jules says in agreement, holding her hand out at him.
Hyunjin takes it and shakes it. โNo takeback,โ he says.
The table fills with laughter again and you realize that this is exactly how you wanted the night to end.
-
Thereโs another couple in the elevator, standing near the panel and rapidly talking to each other in a language you donโt understand, and you canโt tell if theyโre just talking or arguing. You decide not to mind someone elseโs business and focus on how content you feel tonight, how the night couldnโt have ended better than this.
Then you feel the way Hyunjinโs hand finds yours and laces it together with yours. You turn to meet his eyes only for him to begin steering you toward the corner until your back meets the wall.
He steps in close and your breath catches just a little as he stops right in front of you, leaving only inches between your bodies. You look up at him and heโs already looking at you. A smile etched on his face, knowing and a little dangerous.
You swallow, trying to keep your composure. โThat wasโฆโ you start, forcing your voice to stay light, โa really nice way to end the last day.โ
He nods once, eyes never leaving yours. โYeah.โ
You try again, grasping for something normal, less intense. โItโs a shame we still have to pack after this.โ
He slowly shakes his head and then, leans in until his mouth hovers near your ear, close enough that you feel it before you even process the words. โThereโs a better way to end the night,โ he murmurs, voice is low and warm, sending a quiet shiver down your spine.
You try not to react, try not to give in so easily. But then he leans in again, just a fraction closer, and this time, his breath brushes your ear as he whispers, โWay better.โ
When he pulls back, just enough for you to see his face again, that grin is still there with mischief written all over it, like he already knows exactly what heโs doing to you. And worse,
like he knows itโs working.
-
After everything thatโs already happened between you. After the way his eyes have seen and admired your body, hands have learned the shape of it. You donโt expect to the nerves, theyโre subtle yet slowly creeping in as you stand in the bathroom, fingers fixing the ties of your bikini. You exhale slowly to calm yourself down and reach for the bathrobe, wrapping yourself in it before stepping out.
The balcony doors are open and the night air greets you first, cool and salted, brushing against your skin. You linger there on the doorway, one hand braced against the glass door as you find Hyunjin is already in the tub. His arms are stretched along the edge, posture relaxed. Water glows softly around him under dim lights, tracing the line of his back muscles, the broad shoulder, the slope of his back. His hair is tied up, messy, a few damp strands clinging to the nape of his neck.
You stay there and take a moment to take him in, the way he looks like a Greek God with the sea stretches against him, dark and endless, catching the half-moon in broken reflections.
Itโs like he senses your eyes on him, he slowly turns his head and lights up when he sees you. โYou made me wait,โ he says, turning to the side, one hand draping over the edge of the tub.
You suddenly get flustered, like youโve been caught doing something you shouldnโt. You recover quickly, stepping toward him, lifting a brow. โWell, you seem to be enjoying yourself.โ
His grin answers that for him, running his wet hand through his hair.
You untie the robe, letting it fall open before slipping it off, and his eyes slightly widen at the reveal โ the white bikini youโre wearing underneath.
He hurriedly holds his hand out, guiding you into the tub and you take it, kicking your slippers off your feet before finally putting a foot into the tub and then another. The water welcomes you instantly, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you lower yourself into it, heat curling around your body until youโre submerged, weightless in a way that feels almost unreal.
You barely settle before he pulls you onto his lap, your back meets his solid chest and you melt into it without thinking like your body already knows the shape of him, the way you fit.
His arms wrap around you, one draped low across your abdomen, the other circling you fully, holding you in place. Holding you with him.
All of a sudden, the nerves vanish and fade into the water.
His lips brush your shoulder first and then higher, along your neck, each touch lingering just enough to make you feel it twice. You lowly giggle as he places ticklish kisses on that sensitive skin behind your ear. Instead of stopping, he gently grabs your chin to turn your head to the side, allowing him to capture your lips in his.
The kiss is deep and unrushed in a way that steals the air from your lungs more effectively than anything hurried ever could. His tongue tirelessly coaxing you to part your lips open, the second you don, he sucks on your tongue before twirling it with his. He deepens the kiss once more and it gradually softens from there. By the time he pulls back, youโre gasping for air, chest rising and falling against his.
He lets you settle again, arms tightening, keeping you close to him.
You sink into him, head tipping back against his shoulder, eyes half-lidded. โThis feels nice,โ you murmur.
He hums, low and pleased, lips brushing your neck again like punctuation.
Your hand lifts, finding his jaw blindly, fingers grazing his skin. โWe shouldโve done this every day.โ
Another hum. Agreement. Or maybe just contentment. He shifts slightly, turning his head to the other side of your neck, burying his face there like heโs claiming the space and you let him.
For a long moment, the two of you stay like that. The water laps quietly. The ocean beyond mirrors the sky. The world narrows to warmth, to the steady rhythm of two people not needing to say anything.
Until Hyunjin opens his mouth and curiously asks, โWhat makes you think youโre hard to love?โ
You stiffen just a little, realizing that Hyunjin probably listened in on the deep talk you shared with Jules and Diane earlier. Your head turns sharply, eyes narrowing in a playful glare. โYouโre not supposed to eavesdrop on our talk. Our girlsโ talk.โ
He grins, unapologetic. He probably didnโt mean to and just happened to be there when you shared.
You click your tongue at him. Youโre not actually mad, just surprised that he heard it, that he heard it this soon. But heโs not a stranger and eventually, heโd know and you want him to understand.
So you sigh softly, gaze drifting out toward the sea. โI used to thinkโฆ that love is something you have to earn. That you have to giveโฆ more. Do more. Be more. That you have to greatly sacrifice yourself for it.โ
You rest your hand on his forearm, fingers tighten slightly over it. โOtherwiseโฆ they leave.โ
He lets go of your hand only to catch it in his, intertwining them together and rests it over your chest. And to your surprise, he says, โYeah, you werenโt easy.โ
You huff a quiet laugh, slightly offended. โHuh?โ
โYou knowโฆ with your plans,โ he adds, brushing his nose lightly against your temple, โyour schedulesโฆ your rules.โ
You smile despite yourself, feeling called out and slightly embarrassed.
When he speaks again, he waits until your eyes looking at him. โBut you youโre not hard to love,โ he says, voice is as soft as his gaze.
You nod, slowly. Because youโre starting to believe that. Because maybe it was never about being hard to love. Just being loved the wrong way.
His lips press gently to your temple. โAll you have to do is let it happen.โ
You turn your head slightly, looking at him. โOkay,โ you say, and really mean it.
โAnd yes, Iโd give you the world if you ask for it,โ he adds with a playful grin.
You softly smile at that and before it can fade, he captures it with a kiss, so soft it almost feels like a promise rather than a kiss. It lingers long enough to make your chest tighten. Long enough to make something inside you shift.
When he pulls away, your hand comes up to cup his cheek, thumb brushing lightly over his skin.
โThis vacation changed you,โ you tease.
He scoffs softly, dramatically correcting you. โFree vacation.โ
โRight,โ you say, kissing him again.
This time, you turn on his lap, shifting until youโre facing him, straddling him now, water rippling around you both. You put your hands on his shoulders, staring into the brown of his eyes and Diane was right, you can see the twinkles in them as he looks at you.
A hand comes up to his jaw and tenderly holds the side of his face. Then slowly, you lean in, kissing him with your heart open and letting the content pours into the kiss, into him.
His hands sliding along your sides, over your waist, mapping you out like heโs allowed to now. Like he knows he is. Heโs pulling you closer, holding you tighter.
You let yourself fall into it easily. Because itโs him. Because it feels right. Because you donโt want to stop.
When he breaks the kiss, itโs only to drag his mouth lower, lips trailing along your neck. He trails lower still, opening his mouth slightly wider as he places searing little kisses down your chest until heโs buried between your soft mounds.
Instinctively, your hands trail along his shoulders and gather in the back of his neck, fingers tangled in his damp hair. Your breath stutters as he plants his soft lips on the skin before his mouth opens slightly wider to take a mouthful of your flesh and lightly sucking on it.
A low, breathless gasp falls out of your mouth as he yanks down the cup of your bikini, wasting no time to take your hardening nipple into his mouth, tongue circling on it. your hands tangled deeper in his hair, mouth buried in his dark locks as you cradle his head close to your chest.
Youโre humming from the feel of his mouth devouring your breast and yet, it doesnโt quite satisfy his hunger. So impatiently, a hand trails up your spine, finding the knot of your bikini straps there, tied on the nape of your neck and clumsily pulling at it until it snaps open. In the end, he takes the whole thing off of you, tossing your wet bikini top aside.
Hyunjin pulls back just enough to look at you, at your bare chest and the way your breasts hung beautifully on your chest, inviting him to touch, to feel. He doesnโt stop himself for using both hands, each one kneading, fingers pinching at the sensitive buds.
You shake your head, looking down at his wide eyes, dark with lust. Half-amused, half-aroused. โAre you trying to put on a show?โ
He presses a warm kiss on your sternum and then pulls away with a dazed smile, eyes glinting. โMaybe.โ
The answer sends a small, unexpected thrill through you. So you lean in and kiss him, but it only lasts for a few seconds as he breaks the kiss. He shifts his focus back to your chest. Hands pushing them to the middle so he can greedily take both nipples at once.
โHyunjinโฆโ you breathlessly call, uselessly trying to stop him.
But of course, he pretends not to hear or decides to ignore you completely, his mouth too busy sucking on your breasts, teeth lightly tugging at your nipples just to tease you, making you whimper in reaction.
You gently cup his jaw, tilting his head up just enough for his eyes to meet yours. You run your hand through his hair as you look at him and say, โWhat donโt we go insideโฆ and Iโll put on a good show for you?โ
That works to make him pause, eyebrow raised in curiosity. He slowly detaches his mouth, leaving your nipples wet with his saliva and raw from all of his sucking. He looks at you, lips curving into a smirk.
โThen what are we waiting for?โ
-
You barely make it out of the shower without touching him again. Itโs ridiculous how quickly the tension comes back, how the heat clings even after the water washes everything clean. Your robe sticks lightly to your skin and Hyunjinโs the same, hair still wet and brushed to the back.
The second you step into the room, your hand finds his, guidingโno, steeringโhim straight to the bed. He drops onto the edge of the mattress, looking up at you like he already knows heโs about to lose whatever control he thought he had.
You climb onto his lap, knees settling on either side of his hips, and the moment your bodies meetโhe exhales, like heโs been holding that breath since the hot tub. Your hands find his face first and then your lips. The kiss lands deep, immediate, like youโre trying to pick up where you left it.
He responds just as quickly, hands coming up to your waist, pulling you closer like he needs to feel all of you at once. The kiss goes on, long enough to blur the line between breath and touch. Until he breaks it and then rests his forehead against yours.
โSoโฆ when does the actual show start?โ he asks, voice low and a little hoarse.
You click your tongue softly, pulling back just enough to look at him. โYouโre not even ready for it.โ
His plush lips curve into a sly smirk. โIโm always ready.โ
โYeah?โ you murmur, fingers slipping to the edges of his robe. โLetโs see.โ
Your hands work slowly as you untie it and then pull it open just until it drapes around his shoulders. You place a hand on his chest, still warm and damp from the shower. Yet, you lean in without hesitation, placing kisses along his neck, down to his collarbone, letting each touch of your lips on his skin linger just long enough to make him react.
He does. He reacts in sharp inhales and quiet hisses, his grip on your waist tightening.
You pull back and slip the robe off your shoulders until itโs falling away completely, and for a second, his hands just stay on your waist. Like heโs still deciding where to start.
Once heโs decided, his hands move without hesitation. Theyโre on you, all at once, warm and little greedy. Youโre joining him as he once again fondling on your breasts, feeling the way he touches you, feeling yourself. Your head tilting side to side as you humming in delight.
You let go as he leans in, burying his head between your soft mounds and let him stay there, shivering just slightly as he inhales your skin like he couldnโt get enough of your scent.
When he tilts his head up, looking at you again, you catch him off guard with a haste, messy kiss. As you keep his mouth busy, your hand slips between you, finding his cock strained and hot to the touch. His breath stutters against your mouth as you stroke him slowly, thumb circling around the head, feeling him pulsating for you.
A small hum escapes you. Your half-lidded eyes locked with his as you mutter, โYeahโฆ youโre ready.โ
He lets out a soft laugh that doesnโt quite sound like a laugh anymore.
Your hands move to his shoulders, gripping at them firmly as you lift yourself just slightly, positioning his cock to your entrance and then, slowly taking him into you.
Hyunjin stills, his grip tightening on you, mouth dropping open like heโs about to say something but the pleasure overwhelms him, knocking the thoughts out of his head. His eyes flick down, widening at the way you easily ease down yourself on his cock. And then, it hits him.
โWait,โ he says in a rushed tone, his grip is impossibly hard now. โThe condom.โ
You hush him softly, while continue taking more of him into you. โItโs okay,โ you murmur.
Thereโs a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, like heโs not convinced yet. โButโ"
You press a kiss to his lips. A gentle, reassuring kiss. โIโm on the pills. Itโs okay,โ you calmly say.
Slowly, his grip loosens as he decides to trust you and you do the same, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, leaning in closer as you take the remaining of his length. You let the distance disappear in a way that feels less like urgency and more like choice. Like youโre both stepping into it together.
Hyunjinโs mouth stays open the whole time, eyes dazed and dark, continuously locked in a heated gaze with yours. A low sound caught somewhere between surprise and something deeper.
The second heโs fully sheathed in your warm, velvety walls. You wrap your arms tighter around his shoulder, drawing yourself closer to him until thereโs no gap left between your bodies. You press your forehead against his, letting out breathe that more like a soft laugh of relief.
โMy god, you feel so good inside me,โ you mutter in a hint of disbelief, lips grazing his as you speak.
Hyunjin, still overwhelmed, swallows air and forces himself to say something, do something. A beat later, he glides his hands up, holding you by the ribcage now, thumbs absentmindedly rubbing over the skin. โIs it really okay?โ he asks again, voice barely audible, like heโs still processing this.
You laugh softly and then place a soft kiss on his lips. โMore than okay,โ you answer with a smile.
That seems to be all what he needs to hear. His hands slide up your back, holding you closer. A hand gently curves around the nape of your neck, angling your head slightly to the side as he leans in and kisses you, slower this time, like heโs trying to give himself a chance to catch up.
When you pull away, you put on the softest smile and ask, โSo, how does it feel?โ
He lets out a quiet exhale, almost a laugh. โYou feelโฆ so fucking perfect. So perfect for me.โ
That makes you smile and you tilt your head, eyes softly gaze into his eyes. โHow much would you rate it?โ you ask, playful but edged with curiosity.
He captures your lips in a slow, heated kiss. โInfinite out of ten,โ he finally answers after pulling away, a faint grin tugging at his lips.
That also makes you smile and you hastily kiss him, conveying that words couldnโt. You shift slightly on his lap and the slightest movement is enough to remind you of his whole size inside you, filling you, stretching you deliciously.
โIโm going to move, mmh?โ you say.
โNo, wait,โ he says, gripping at you like he wouldnโt let go. โIf you move now, I think Iโm done for.โ
You chuckle at that and kiss him again instead of answering, slow and reassuring, giving him a moment to adjust, to compose himself. And when you finally move, you move just a little, just enough but it draws a reaction out of him that he canโt hide, his head tipping back slightly, grip tightening again.
โYouโre driving me crazy,โ he sighs, half scolding, half in pleasure.
You keep your rhythm slow and steady, moving your hips in rolling motions and somehow, without the layer of protection, you feel even more sensitive around him. And oh, he just feels so good. Hot and hard, penetrating you deeper and deeper in each passing second.
โYou feel so good,โ you say again and again, not caring how much youโve said it before.
Itโs so easy to fall into it, into the feeling of him and the way his eyes stay on you, heavy and focused, like he doesnโt want to miss a single second of it. The way your name almost slips from his lips but doesnโt quite make it out.
Itโs clear that itโs getting overwhelming for both of you so you pause. You kiss his mouth, deep and messy, lips and tongues crashing together. Once you pulled away, you lean back with one hand still gripping his shoulder as support and then continue moving.
Seeing your breasts bouncing merely inches away from him, he doesnโt skip the chance but cling to it, mouth sucking hard on your nipple like heโs one thirsty man.
You gasp when he sucks too hard, but the added stimulation keeps you going, keeps you moving and tirelessly chasing your high. Your hand slides up to his neck, grounding yourself there as you lean in again, pressing your lips against the top of his head, on his temple and then forehead. Then pull away just slightly, just enough to look down at him.
โI want this to last,โ you whisper, voice small and quivering on the edges.
He pulls away with a gasp before lifting his head, looking back into your eyes. A soft smile pulling at his mouth despite everything. โThen letโs stay like this,โ he murmurs back, pressing a kiss to your lips. โForever.โ
Thereโs something in the way he says it. Playful? Yes. But not entirely. You feel that thread of something real, woven into all the heat and closeness. You let yourself believe it that maybe this could last longer than just tonight.
-
You stay there with him, moving slowly, letting the rhythm build instead of chasing it, letting yourself feel every shift, every reaction he gives you. And he gives you plenty.
His hands tighten around you, fingers digging into your skin like heโs trying to keep you right where you areโlike he already knows youโre getting close.
You are.
It creeps up on you in waves, soft at first, then stronger, until your breath starts to falter and your grip on him changes without you meaning to.
His arms wrap tighter around you, pulling you flush against him, his face dipping into the curve of your neck as if he wants to hide there, breathe you in, anchor himself to you while everything starts to tip over.
โYouโre close, mmh?โ he lowly asks, almost swallowed against your skin.
But youโre already there, already slipping.
When you hit your high, it pulls a soft, unfiltered sound from you and he holds you through it, closer than before, like heโs not letting you drift too far from him even for a second.
His lips find yours again almost immediately, kissing you deeper. Like heโs chasing you through it. Like he wants to stay right there with you, even as youโre still catching your breath.
โYou look so beautifulโฆโ he pauses, brushing his thumb across your cheek, gaze heavy and soft all at once. โComing around me like this.โ
You can only manage a small, breathless smile as you cling to him and trying to steady yourself again.
But his grip shifts, and before you can fully process it, heโs guiding you back until your back meets the bed. He moves with utmost care, almost protective, like heโs making sure you land softly, like nothing about this moment is meant to be rushed.
He hovers over you, eyes searching yours and then he kisses you again. His mouth drifts from yours, trailing down your jaw, your neck and each kiss lighter than before, but somehow just as intense. Itโs not about urgency anymore. Itโs about staying.
Your fingers find his hair, brushing it back, holding him there when he dips lower, making a long trail of kisses down your front and only stopping when his mouth lands on your still sensitive, still pulsating clit.
He burrows onto the mattress, arms curve under your thighs and makes himself comfortable there, on the space between your legs. Like this is where he lives now.
He takes his time to please you with his mouth, tongue landing small, featherlight licks, lips capturing your clit in soft kisses while his mouth occasionally sucking on it. Just enough to make you restless. Just enough to make your legs tremble and your toes curl.
He lets go only to place kisses on your inner thighs before crawling over you, hovering above you once more. He takes a moment to just admire, one hand gliding down your torso and then settles on the curve of your waist.
โSo beautiful, so perfectโฆโ he murmurs in a mix of disbelief and awe. Then he crashes his mouth onto yours, taking your breath away in every brush of his lips against yours.
When he finally settles between your legs again, the tension is thicker and heavier now. He doesnโt rush back into you. Not yet. Just rubbing his length between your slick folds, letting your essence lubricating it. He lets the moment stretch, lets you feel him how hard he is, lets you want it until you canโt help but touch him, guiding his cock to your clit and circling the tip around it. You keep your eyes locked with his as you do and thereโs something in the way he looks at you now โ heโs almost gone. In the best way.
You push the tip down, aiming it toward your entrance and push it just an inch. And yet, itโs enough to elicit a quiet, low sound he doesnโt even try to hide. You arch your body, letting him feel the way you wrapped around him once more.
Hyunjin sighs, like heโs trying to calm himself down before finally does the rest, pushing forward and penetrating you again. His eyes donโt stray, they focused on the way his length sliding into you little by little. By the time heโs fully bottomed out, he stills. Like he needs to adjust, to steady himself, to not lose it right then and there.
You feel it the way he trembles slightly, the way his hands flex at your sides, the way his breathing changes. And thenโ
โYou take me so easily now,โ he murmurs, rough around the edges. His thumb presses on your clit, gently circling and applying just the right pressure on it
You slyly smile in return, lifting your knees higher and cupping your breasts in your hands, giving yourself the extra stimulation your body seeks.
The sight arouses Hyunjin so much that for a brief moment, he just stays there, watching you touching yourself. His hips begin moving then, ever so slowly but the motions only allow him to feel you more. More intense than before.
Hyunjinโs eyes screwed shut for a second like heโs struggling to keep up with what heโs feeling and seeing. When he opens them, they meet you right away. โI fucked you so many times that youโve taken the shape of me, yeah?โ he murmurs, followed by a shaky exhale.
Instead of answering, you put your legs down and around his waists, hands reaching for his shoulders to bring him close until heโs settled on top of you. You kiss him and he kisses you back in the same eagerness, almost sloppy.
And at the same time, Hyunjin keeps moving his hips in rolling motions and it always impresses you how he moves like his body made of fluid, flowing and unrestrained. Each motion measured, like heโs trying to hold onto control while still giving into it.
Praises slipping between kissesโsoft murmurs that make you flutter in a way that has nothing to do with the physical anymore. Youโre too deep in it now. Not just the feeling.
Him.
The way heโs looking at you. The way heโs holding you. The way this doesnโt feel like just a shared intimate momentโit feels like something more.
Your hands find his, and he laces your fingers together, pressing them into the bed as he quickens the pace, enough to pull another breath from you, enough to bring you right back to that edge again.
โHyunjinโฆโ you whisper his name.
He hums against your lips, barely pulling away. โYeah?โ
โIโm closeโฆโ
The words come out softer, more vulnerable than you expect.
He exhales, pressing his forehead to yours for a brief second before kissing you again. โJustโstay with me a little longer.โ
You nod, even if youโre not sure you can. And when he deepens his thrusting, it becomes harder to think about anything else. Harder to hold back.
โI canโtโโ you mutter breathlessly, body squirming and quivering. โI canโt hold it back anymore.โ
When you finally let go, it takes him with you. Thereโs no holding it this time, no stopping it. He breaks with a rough, guttural groan that spills out of his mouth as he pulls you closer, burying himself against you, the moment crashing over him just as hard.
The soft, quiet stillness comes after. His forehead rests against yours, breath still uneven, a small, disbelieving smile tugging at his lips. He looks at you like heโs seeing something new. Something important.
He waits until your eyes are focused and meeting him. And the he says it.
โI love you.โ
The words hang between you for a moment, you let them sink in, let them seep into somewhere deep in your chest. you have the answer but the words feel strange, feel heavy on your tongue. You try anyway, opening your mouth, but he stops with a kiss.
โYou donโt have to say it back,โ he murmurs, thumb swiping across your lips.
You smile lazily at that. โWell, I donโt want to,โ you playfully say.
He huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. โThen donโt.โ
But your hand comes up to his cheek, thumb brushing lightly across his skin, your gaze steady on his. And this time, you donโt hesitate.
โBut I love you.โ
He stills for a second. Like he didnโt expect it. Like heโs not sure he heard it right. And then he breaks into laughter as if heโs trying to release the nerves, the worries and concerns.
And with that, he leans in and kisses you again, body lowering until heโs settled on top of you. Until your bodies fit together. Until your hearts are lying close to each other with mere bones and flesh in between. The hearts that have chosen each other.
Hopefullyโ
Forever.
-
Hyunjin doesnโt think heโs ever been this aware of silence before. The kind that hums softly, wrapped around the steady drone of the plane, tucked between the quiet breaths you take beside him. The kind that feels comfortable, content.
He shifts slightly in his seat, shoulder brushing yours, just to make sure youโre still there, still real. Because a part of him keeps whispering that this was all too good to be true. Like something his mind would make up just to torture him later.
He exhales slowly, running a hand through his long hair before turning his head and there you are, sitting beside him with legs tucked in just a little, scrolling through your phone with that faint crease between your browsโthe one heโs grown ridiculously fond of. The one he used to call annoying. The one he now thinks about at the most inconvenient times.
As if you feel him looking, you glance up and softly smile at him. And just like that, the noise in his head quiets.
You lean closer, talking so low that it feels like itโs just for him. โThe pharmaceutical company emailed. They want a review for the coupleโs test program.โ
โReally?โ he asks, one brow lifted.
You nod, already shrugging it off and shoving your phone into your bag. โLetโs just do it later.โ
Later. He lingers on that word for a second.Later means this continues.Later means youโre notโฆ done.
You nudge him lightly, already leaning close to his. โWanna watch something?โ
He nods, clearing his throat a little. โYeah. Letโs finish that movie we didnโt get to watch.โ
You hum, already leaning forward to scroll through the in-flight screen, mumbling under your breath. โI donโt even know if they have itโฆโ
A moment later, you look at him and shake your head, lips slightly curled into a pout. โThey donโt have it.โ
And god, that face. He smiles without meaning to, something soft and helpless slipping through before he can stop it. โJust pick anything.โ
You drop your hand to your lap. โNo. You pick this time.โ
He huffs out a quiet laugh, like heโs been handed something far more serious than choosing a movie. โAlright.โ
He scrolls through the options, squinting like heโs studying for an exam. Then, he jokingly mutters, โI donโt think they have porn on this thing.โ
Your hand flies to his mouth, muffling him as you half-laugh, half-scold, โAre you insane? There are kids around.โ
His eyes widen in mock innocence as he glances around, deliberately dramatic. โI donโt see any.โ
โJust pick a movie,โ you tell him while gently patting his cheek. โA normal, flight-friendly movie.โ
Another moment passed with him scrolling through the movie selection and ends up with something light, a teen comedy movie. You both slip on the headsets, and before the opening scene even finishes, you link your arm through his, head settling comfortably against his shoulder. Like youโve done it a hundred times. Like youโre going to do it a hundred more.
Hyunjin presses play and for the first half of the movie, the two of you share quiet commentary, soft chuckles, the occasional glance at each other when something particularly dumb happens on screen.
He lets himself sink into it this time, lets himself believe that just because the vacation is over, doesnโt mean itโs over. Itโs still happening. You and him.
Somewhere in the middle of the movie, you get quiet and he notices it a little too late. He tilts his head, looking down and as expected, youโre fast asleep. Your face slightly smushed against his arm, lips parted in the softest pout, brows relaxed now, all that focus and awareness melted into something unbearably soft.
He exhales a quiet laugh. โAgain?โ he murmurs under his breath. But his voice is fond. So, so fond.
Carefully, he leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your pout. The kiss lingers there for half a second longer than he intended to before pulling back, eyes soft as he stares at your face. Then he reaches up, slipping your headset off, then his.
The movie keeps playing silently for a moment before he pauses it altogether. He straightens on his seat, wrapping an arm around you, pulling you closer until youโre properly tucked against his side, your head resting more comfortably now against his chest.
You instinctively curl into him, like even in your sleep, you know heโs safe. Like you trust him. Completely. And that means more than anything.
The restlessness fades. Not completely. Because maybe things will change when you land. Maybe work will get in the way. Maybe reality will creep back in. But this isnโt something that disappears the moment the plane touches the ground. He knows that now. He presses his cheek lightly against the top of your head, eyes drifting shut for just a second.
Some things stay the same.
And some things change.
And for once, heโs not afraid of either.
-
Hyunjin doesnโt realize how tightly heโs been holding onto that quiet, fragile feeling until the door clicks open. You step in first and he follows, wheeling both suitcases in with a soft thud against the floor. He turns back to close the door, hand lingering on the handle a second too long like heโs sealing something in, or maybe trying to keep something from slipping away.
When he turns around, youโre already looking at him. Your smile is soft and content, a little tired too, but thatโs understandable.
โItโs so nice to be home,โ you sigh.
Yeah. It is.
You donโt give him time to sit in it, though. You walk right up to him, slipping a hand to his waist, tugging him closer. The kiss you give him is a quick brush of your lips against him, but his heart flips anyway.
Then you look at him, casual as anything. โAre you hungry?โ
He huffs a small laugh, the corner of his mouth lifting. โYeah.โ
You grin, reaching up to pat his cheek lightly like heโs done something right. โCan you please order something delicious for us?โ
How can he say no when you look at him with a soft gaze and a soft smile?
โOf course,โ he answers without argument. He pulls his phone out immediately, scrolling through options while you disappear briefly to set your things down.
By the time the food arrives, youโre both settled at the dining table, still in your travel clothes, too comfortable to care. In between bites of food, the two you talk about the vacation โ the rocky beginning, the fun bits, the unexpected things you encountered and discovered.
You talk with such zest and Hyunjin finds himself watching you more than listening sometimes. The way your eyes crinkle, the way your hand gestures mid-story, the way you lean back in your chair when you laugh like youโve forgotten everything else exists.
He wants to stay here, right in this version of things. Where itโs just you and him, a table between you, shared food, shared stories, no expectations pressing in from the outside. A small, selfish part of him wonders if itโs possible to stretch this moment, make it last just a little longer before reality starts knocking again.
But eventually, the plates are empty and you push your chair back with a quiet sigh, stretching slightly as you stand.
He gets ahead of you, collecting plates and stacking them together. โIโll do it,โ he offers.
โThanks,โ you murmur before walking up to him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
And when you pull away, you look at him like you know exactly what that did to him. โIโll be waiting for you upstairs.โ
You say it so casually and donโt say anything else after, but let him figure it out himself.
Hyunjin just stands there with dirty dishes in hand. Brain lagging behind. He watches you cross the living room, grab your bag from the sofa, then head upstairs without a second glance back. Your footsteps fade, followed by the soft sound of a door opening and then closing.
Upstairs? Does that mean you want him in your bedroom?His eyes flick briefly toward the staircase, then back down at the dishes in his hands.
โYouโre definitely inviting me,โ he says to no one, shaking his head in disbelief.
Thereโs no point pretending otherwise. Still, he forces himself to finish cleaning, faster and a little rushed, his thoughts already halfway upstairs with you. Because all he can think about is you, up there, waiting for him.
-
Hyunjin pushes the door open with his shoulder, backpack hanging loosely from his hand. He steps into your room, slower than he needs to, like heโs taking it in properly this time.
Youโre not there, but he hears the sound of water running from the bathroom.
He lets out a quiet breath, something between relief and anticipation, and walks further in, setting his backpack down by the nightstand before lowering himself onto the edge of the bed.
The room already feels familiar. Itโs still in the same layout. The same sheets. The same faint scent that lingers in the air, something thatโs justโฆ you. But it feels different.
Last time he was here, he wasnโt supposed to be. He remembers moving around quietly, careful not to leave a trace, like he was borrowing something that didnโt belong to him.
Now? Now heโs sitting here because you told him to come. Because you want him here. Because this is no longer something hidden between moments.
He leans back slightly on his hands, eyes drifting around the room, a small smile tugging at his lips before he even realizes it.
The bathroom door creaks open and he turns his head instantly to find you standing in the doorway with your hair down, dressed down in a simple night dress that somehow does more to him than anything else youโve worn all day.
โHey!โ you call out with an edge to it. Like youโre seeing something that doesnโt belong in your room.
Did heโ? Did he get it wrong? Did he read too much into everything?
But before the thought can even settle, you walk toward him, stopping just close enough to look down at where heโs sitting. โThatโs my side of the bed.โ
God. He overthinks it again. He shakes his head at himself, dragging a hand through his hair. โRight. Of course it is.โ
You cross your arms, still holding onto that mock glare, but thereโs a grin threatening at the corner of your lips.
He plays along, letting out an exaggerated sigh as he grabs his things. โI come all the way here and I donโt even get a good spot.โ
You roll your eyes, but youโre smiling now.
He walks around the bed, dropping onto the other side, tossing his things down like heโs been doing this forever.
You watch him for a second before nodding toward the bathroom. โGo wash up. Hurry.โ
He groans softly, dragging himself up again. โBossy.โ
โGo. Now!โ
โOkay, okay,โ he mutters with hands lifted in defeat, already heading toward the bathroom.
Soon enough, Hyunjin comes out of the bathroom with a towel slung over his shoulder, hair still slightly damp, the warmth from the shower clinging to his skin.
The first thing he sees is you, sitting comfortably against the headboard, legs stretched out under the blanket, phone in your hands as your thumbs move quickly across the screen. The warm glow of the bedside lamp lights up your face, softening your features.
You glance up the second he steps into view and smile. It hits him instantly that he should get used to it now.
โWell,โ you say, a teasing edge in your voice, โthank you for not taking forever in there.โ
He huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head as he walks over. โYouโre welcome. I tried my best not to inconvenience you.โ
You narrow your eyes playfully, but the smile stays.
He sets his things down on your nightstand while you lock your phone and put it aside without a second thought. Then you shift, sliding further down into the bed, patting the space next to you. โHurry. Get in.โ
He rolls his eyes, dragging out a dramatic sigh like heโs being forced into it. โSo demanding.โ
He takes his time anyway, pulling the covers back, settling in beside you, but the second heโs there, you snuggle up to him. Like itโs where youโre meant to be.
He doesnโt even think about it but offers his arm, letting you rest your head on it, adjusting slightly so youโre comfortable. Your body melts into his side, and he feels the soft hum you let out against him.
His fingers drift to your hair, brushing through it gently, slow and absent-minded. His other hand finds yours, threading your fingers together before softly kissing the your knuckle and resting your laced hands over his chest.
The room is quiet except for the sound of your breathing, the faint rustle of sheets shifting with every small movement. This is nice and he is relaxes, and yet, one thing sitting in the back of his mind, refusing to stay quiet.
He swallows, then nudges you slightly. โHey.โ
You hum in response, eyes already half-closed. โMmh?โ
โYouโre not gonna get weird tomorrow, right?โ
You let out a small scoff of laughter against him. โGet weird how?โ
He keeps his voice steady and the tone casual. โLikeโฆ youโre not gonna go back to how you used to be with me.โ
You tilt your head up to look at him, brows lifting. โAnd how did I used to be with you?โ
He grins, a little sheepish now. โYou know. Like youโre always annoyed by me. Likeโฆ Iโm just your test partner.โ
A quiet chuckle leaves you and your eyes flutter, forcing them open to look at him. โFirst thing first, Iโll always be annoyed by you,โ you murmur with a playful smile.
Hyunjin rolls his eyes and sighs, but he knows that part is true. He doesnโt think heโll stop annoying you sometime soon.
โSecondly,โ you continue, looking and sounding a little serious now. โCongratulations, you just got promoted as my long-term booty call.โ
He lets out a breath that should turn into a laugh. But your answer is not quite the one he wants to hear, not the kind of assurance he seeks. Before he can say anything else, you suddenly burst into laughter, shifting over him until youโre half on top of him, looking down at him like heโs the most ridiculous person alive.
โWeโve beenโโ you cut yourself off with another laugh, shaking your head, โโweโve been fucking each other for days, said โI love you,โ and now youโre here, in my bedโฆ and youโre still asking what we are?โ
He presses his lips together, trying to hold it in and fails. A laugh escapes him out of embarrassment. โJust making sure,โ he mutters while nodding to himself.
You roll your eyes and then drop your head to the side, quietly chuckling.
He looks at you and carefully asks, โCan I tell people about it?โ
โIโd rather keep it low-key,โ you eloquently answer like you expected that question from him.
His brows knit slightly. โWhy?โ
You reach up, brushing a strand of his hair back. โI donโt want to mix work and personal stuff. And I definitely donโt want to give the office something to gossip about.โ
He gets it. He fully understands it. But still, he pouts because a part of him wants to the tell the world that youโre his. โSoโฆ I canโt tell anyone?โ
You smile, amused. โYou can.โ
His eyes light up slightly at that, but then you quickly add, โOnly if someone asks.โ
The pout comes back immediately and you barely have time to laugh before he suddenly rolls over, flipping you onto your back beneath him. You let out a small sound of surprise, but youโre smiling.
He hovers over you, looking down with that familiar mix of mischief and something softer underneath. โDo you really love me?โ he asks.
You grin instantly. โDo you really love me?โ
He leans down, nudging his nose against yours. โI asked first.โ
You hold his gaze and just to make this difficult, you answer, โSometimes, I do.โ
He narrows his eyes, leans in and gently bites your nose.
You shriek, laughing, hands flying to his face as you cup his jaw, pressing a quick kiss there.
โI want to take things slow. I want to keep this between us for a bit longer.โ
He nods in understanding. But thenโ
โCan I at least tell our CMO?โ
You laugh immediately, knowing that Seungmin will be likely the first person Hyunjin would declare this relationship to. โYes.โ
He nods, satisfied. โThatโs enough.โ
And just like that, he leans down, giving you a long, lingering kiss. A kiss that says more than he bothers putting into words.
โNo more questions. Iโm tired,โ you half mumble with eyes closed.
โOkay,โ he says, tangling his hand in your hair and gently brushing it. But not even a second later, he asks, โHow about one more kiss?โ
You sharply exhale air through your nostrils before tilting your head up. โJust one more kiss,โ you murmur.
Hyunjin makes the best of it, capturing your soft lips in his and kissing you. Less heat, more intent. With his whole heart. When he pulls away, he smiles and lowly murmurs against your lips, โGoodnight.โ
You smile with your eyes closed. โGoodnight,โ you say back, just as softly.
Then he rolls back onto his side, pulling you with him, tucking you close like before. You fit there perfectly. His arm wraps around you, hand resting at your back, holding you close as your breathing slowly evens out.
And this time, his mind is quiet because when morning comes, he knows youโll still be right here.
-
The moment you open your eyes, you see him.
Hyunjin, right beside you. So close that you can feel his breath, soft and even against your skin. His face is slightly smushed into the pillow, lips parted in the faintest pout, hair a mess in the way that makes him look softer and unguarded. And somehow, a lot more attractive.
Thereโs something about seeing him like this that makes your chest feel a little too full and your lips curve into a smileย
Carefully, you shift closer. Your fingers hover for a moment before brushing lightly along his jaw, tracing the line of it. Then you lean in, pressing small, lingering kisses thereโone, two, threeโslow and gentle, just enough to feel the warmth of his skin under your lips.
He doesnโt stir. Not even a little as you smile against him. So you press one more kiss and this time to his lips and to no one surprise, still nothing.
Itโs only when you start adjusting the blanket and shifting your leg, he finally reacts. A low groan slips out of him as he burrows deeper into the pillow, voice rough with sleep. โWhat time is it?โ
You reach for your phone, squinting slightly at the brightness before answering, โSix seventeen.โ
He groans louder like he has issues with those numbers, and immediately turns his face further into the pillow. โWake me up in an hour,โ he mumbles.
He sounds so serious about it. Like itโs a real plan. You canโt help the smile that spreads across your face.
Then, after a beat, his voice comes again, slurred and drifting. โActuallyโฆ donโt wake me up at all.โ
You let out a soft chuckle, shaking your head a little as you hum in response. โNoted.โ
You lean down again, pressing another gentle kiss to his lips. And this time, he reacts, just barely. As you pull away, his lips follow yours, chasing for a second before he catches you in a lazy, lingering peck. Itโs clumsy, half-asleep, but warm in a way that settles in your chest. Then just as quickly, heโs burrowing back into the pillow, arm loosely draped where you were moments ago and go back to sleep.
You watch him for a brief moment before willing yourself to start moving. You stretch slightly, easing yourself out of bed, careful not to disturb him again. Morning is here and for once, you donโt feel like you have to brace yourself for anything.
You fall into your routine almost instinctivelyโshower, clothes, skincare and by the time youโre in the kitchen, the sun is already filtering in through the windows, warm and bright. You set breakfast together from whatever you have left in your fridge. Oatmeal, a few extras on the side and pour yourself a cup of coffee.
Youโre halfway through your first sip when you hear his slow, dragging footsteps. You glance up just as Hyunjin appears at the bottom of the stairs with messy hair and eyes barely open, one hand rubbing at his face like heโs still negotiating with the idea of being awake. Yet, his expression changes instantly the second he sees you. He smiles as he walks into the kitchen.
โMorning,โ he murmurs, voice still heavy with sleep.
โMorning,โ you softly say back.
He passes by you, leaning in to press a quick kiss to the top of your head before reaching up to the cabinet. Itโs so natural, like itโs always been part of the routine. You donโt even hesitate to grab his mug as he takes it down, pouring coffee into it for him.
He glances at you, grin tugging at his lips. โThanks.โ
You nod toward the counter. โWant some oatmeal?โ
He pauses mid-sip and grimaces. โIโm pretty sure I still have cereal left,โ he says, already turning to rummage through your cabinet where he last put it.
Not long after, he finds the cereal box and pulls it out, opening the lid to peek inside. His brow furrows and slowly, he turns his head toward you. โWhy is there barely anything left in my cereal?โ
You lean against the counter, keeping your expression neutral, lifting your cup for another sip like you have no idea what heโs talking about.
His eyes narrow as he takes a step closer. And you can feel the way heโs looking at you, like heโs waiting for the crack to show.
You tell yourself to stay calm but it only lasts for two seconds and then your lips twitch. โI mightโve eaten it. Occasionally,โ you admit, rather casually.
He scoffs, shaking his head as he closes the distance. โYouโre still bad at lying.โ
You grin, completely unbothered. โOatmeal?โ you offer again, just to annoy him.
He doesnโt answer. Instead, he cups your face with both hands and then leans in, kissing you. The kiss is quick, but it lingers just enough to make a low gasp escaping you when he pulls aways.
He looks at you like heโs already decided something and says, โNo, thank you. Iโll stick to my cereal.โ
A few minutes later, you sit across from Hyunjin, one leg tucked under you, spoon lazily circling your oatmeal while he crunches through his cereal. But every now and then, he glances at you like heโs checking youโre still there.
You pretend not to notice. Instead, you reach for your phone resting beside your bowl, unlocking it and sliding it across the table toward him.
โHey, we should probably do this now before we forget,โ you begin.
He pauses mid-bite, spoon hovering in the air. โDo what?โ
You tap the screen lightly, where the form is pulled up. โThe couple test program review. They asked for it.โ
He leans forward, squinting a little as he reads, then lets out a quiet ah of realization before leaning back in his chair. โRight. That thing.โ
He shoves a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, chews on it and then, he asks, โWeโre filling it together?โ
You raise a brow at him like itโs obvious. โWe were in it together, werenโt we?โ
That earns you a soft huff of a laugh. He nods, scooting his chair a little closer, elbow coming to rest on the table as he angles your phone toward both of you. โOkay, letโs see,โ he says, suddenly a little more awake.
You take your mug, sipping your coffee as your eyes scan the first question. โHow would you rate your overall experience?โ you read aloud, then glance at him. โBe honest.โ
He tilts his head, considering it for a brief moment like heโs weighing something heavier than the question itself. โGood. Not excellent.โ
You narrow your eyes slightly. โNot excellent?โ
His gaze flicks to you, slow, deliberate, the corner of his mouth tugging. โWell, we hadโฆ complications.โ
You scoff under your breath, already tapping โGoodโ anyway. โYou mean you couldnโt stay professional.โ
โI stayed professional,โ he counters, completely unbothered. โYouโre the one whoโโ
You kick his foot lightly under the table. โNext.โ
He laughs and lets you move on.
You go through the aspects together, taking your time with it. You read them out, and he answers, sometimes immediately, sometimes after a pause, sometimes after a quiet debate between the two of you that ends in a compromise and a shared glance that lingers just a second too long.
โPartner coordination,โ you murmur, tapping the screen. โFour?โ
โFour,โ he agrees. Then, after a beatโ โCouldโve been a five.โ
You hum, pretending to think about it. โYou complained a lot.โ
โYou liked it.โ
You donโt answer that. Just press the rating and move on. And each time, your lips curl into a smile.
โDid the program have a positive impact on your relationship?โ you ask, voice softer now. You donโt look at him right away like you did before. Your thumb hovers over the screen.
โYeah,โ he says before you can ask.
You glance up then, and heโs already looking at you. You nod once, almost to yourself, before tapping โYes.โ
Neither of you says anything for a second after that. Then you clear your throat, nudging the moment forward. โFavorite part?โ
He leans back in his chair again, dragging his spoon lazily through the empty bowl now. โWorking together,โ he says, like itโs obvious. Then, after a beat, quieterโ โGetting to see you like that.โ
โLike what?โ
โFocused and bossy,โ he answers without a beat. A grin blooms on his small face as he adds, โA little scary.โ
You roll your eyes, but your fingers hesitate over the screen before typing it in. The rest comes easier from there until you reach the last new question.
You tilt the phone slightly toward him. โWould you be interested in joining another couple test program in the future?โ
He doesnโt even pretend to think about it. โYes.โ
You smile a little at how fast that was. โThat was quick.โ
He shrugs, but his eyes donโt leave you. โDepends on the condition.โ
You raise a brow. โOh?โ
He leans in, raising his eyebrow as a flirty gesture. โFor an instance, same partner.โ
Your fingers still for a second over the screen and you try to fight it, but the smile tugging at your lips anyway. You nod as you tap the answer in, exactly like that. Then you set your phone down and reach for your coffee again.
He watches you over the rim of his mug, quiet for a moment. Thenโ
โSoโฆ weโre doing another one?โ
You meet his eyes over the table, sunlight catching in them, in yours, in everything thatโs changed without either of you saying it out loud. You tilt your head, a small smile pulling at your lips.
โLooks like it,โ you say.
And maybe this time, it wonโt feel like a test at all.
-
COUPLE TEST PROGRAM
PARTICIPANT REVIEW FORM
Participant 1 ID: P-260319
Participant 2 ID: P-260320
Program Duration: 30 Days
1. Overall Experience
How would you rate your overall experience?
โ Excellent โ Good โ Average โ Poor
2. Program Aspects (Rate 1โ10)
Product Quality & Variety: 9
Clarity of Testing Instructions: 9
Ease of Use (Products): 8
Reporting & Documentation Process: 8
Partner Coordination & Task Balance: 8
3. Relationship Impact
Did the program have a positive impact on your relationship?
โ Yes โ No โ Unsure
If yes, how? (optional)
It encouraged consistent communication, cooperation, and adaptability. We became more aware of each otherโs preferences, working styles, and boundaries through repeated interactions.
4. Highlights & Challenges
Favorite part of the program:
Testing products in a shared setting and comparing perspectives. The process felt interactive and allowed for genuine reactions and discussions.
Any challenges or concerns:
Maintaining objectivity while working closely as partners could be challenging at times. Differences in opinions occasionally affected the evaluation process.
5. Recommendation
Would you recommend this program to other couples?
โ Yes โ No โ Maybe
6. Future Participation
Would you be interested in joining another couple test program in the future?
โ Yes โ No โ Maybe
If yes, under what conditions? (optional)
Preferably with the same partner to maintain consistency in evaluation and communication.
7. Additional Feedback
The program is well-structured and effective for observing real-time partner dynamics. Slight improvements in reporting flexibility and clearer expectations for subjective evaluations would enhance the experience.
8. Final Comment
Thank you for the opportunity to participate in the Couple Test Program. The experience was insightful, engaging, and unexpectedly meaningful for both of us. Beyond product evaluation, the program encouraged stronger communication, teamwork, and understanding between partners in everyday situations.
We appreciate the effort put into creating realistic testing environments and activities that allowed authentic interactions and feedback. Overall, it was a valuable experience that we would gladly participate in again.
Submission Status: โ Successfully Submitted
-
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summary. what did he get after coming back from Africa? a fucking huge ego and the nerve to make you fall in love more. which, isss so fucking unfair not that you have to make him ask you to be his girlfriend.
triggers/warnings. fluff, emotionally constipated yuuta, dumbass to lover pipeline, soft virgin $ex (implied), first time, mutual pining explosion, goofy flirting to full-on intimacy, extremely affectionate makeout session, long slow kiss descriptions, teasing turned sincere, gentle undressing, consent check (verbal), heavy petting, reader-on-top position, soft dom yuuta, praise kink (gentle), internal ejaculation (mentioned), implied aftercare, lots of โi love youโ mid-thrust energy, dumb relationship talk, boyfriend reveal post-orgasm, soft but emotionally unhinged dialogue, swearing / explicit language.
it was that kind of twilight where the sky went lilac, like it couldnโt decide whether to die down or scream one last color into the day, and the courtyard between dorms hummed with the lazy static of summer insects drunk off heat. your legs stuck a little with every step, your thighs brushing as your too-short cotton strawberry-print sleep shorts rode upโnot because youโd rolled them, but because they were honest-to-god tragic at staying down where they were supposed to. the white t-shirt hung shapeless and limp, just long enough to look like you werenโt trying to be indecent, just short enough to flash a whisper of lower belly if the breeze kicked up. your hair was a half-washed mess. no bra. no socks. this was war.
plastic bag of snacks swinging off your wrist, crinkling loud enough to announce you two corners away, you clutched it like a peace offering, or a bribe, or a confession. everything in it had a story: the milk soda gummies heโd once nearly cried over. that dumb pink shrimp chip brand you always fought over because the flavor was โemotionally damagingโ (his words). a tiny green tea cake with icing youโd pressed your thumb into by accident. the whole bag smelled like saccharine surrender. you hadnโt seen him in months.
yuuta had been sent to africaโyes, the continent, not the bandโbecause gojo had gotten it into his hollow skull that yuuta needed โrecalibration,โ like he was a satellite that went a little too sharp after the shibuya aftermath. the accidentโthose cursed children, that nightmarish tangle of residuals, the stupid thing with the shrine and the way his voice cracked saying โi didnโt mean toโโ right before gojo shoved him on a planeโhad left him looped up in his own head. not dangerous, not even spiraling. justโฆ too tuned in. too raw. so gojo, in his infinite โbig brother but worseโ wisdom, had sent him away. not to punish, not to exile. just to breathe somewhere far enough that even his regrets would echo slower.
you had hated him for it. not yuuta. gojo. because you missed him. and because you didnโt know how to say it.
he had texted, of course. photos of monkeys stealing his food. long meandering voice notes about heatstroke and rogue cursed spirits in old mining towns. one audio message that was just six minutes of wind and then โ...it smells like burnt cinnamon here, isnโt that weird?โ and then more wind. youโd replayed that one until the file started glitching.
now he was back.
you walked up the stairs with knees that didnโt work right, heartbeat like a stray drumroll in your chest. the hallway smelled like that vaguely bleachy institution-funk, overlaid with someone cooking too much garlic too late. but his door was the one with the taped-up polaroid of a lizard on the peepholeโheโd named it jerry and claimed it once saved his life in botswana by pointing at a cursed talisman with its tail (you didnโt believe a word but loved him for trying)โand it stood exactly as you remembered. slightly misaligned. always looked like it wanted to be a secret.
you stood there too long. shifted the snack bag from left to right. considered fleeing. considered kicking the door down. did neither.
instead, you knocked. once. twice. then a little impatient third one that said โhey, iโm still me.โ
the hallway was quiet.
your hand still hovered, a little curl of fingers like maybe you'd knock again but also maybe you'd just rest it there and feel how solid the door was between you. it didnโt matter. the moment had already bent in that soft surreal way, like a movie scene that couldnโt decide if it was a comedy or a tragic romance. behind that door was him. your friend. the dumbass with the soft hands and the eyes like old moonlight and a voice that didnโt realize it made you ache.
you licked your lips, wiped your palm on your thigh. you told yourself you were ready.
the plastic bag rustled. it sounded like a heartbeat.
the door opened with a click that sounded way too loud for the sleepy summer hallway and maybe also a little like the climax of a drama scene about to spiral into something stupid and irreversible, and there he wasโyuuta okkotsu, fucking alive, standing barefoot in the doorway like heโd just walked off a fever dream you had eight weeks ago, except realer and worse, because reality had done something to him that memory never could: it made him taller.
not metaphorically taller, not emotionally expanded, not some symbolic โhe grew while he was awayโ bullshitโno. he was literally, absolutely taller, which was rude as hell because you were already tragically average and now standing in front of him, your face came up to his stupid newly-broadened neck and you had to tilt your head back to look at his face and that made your neck hurt and now everything was his fault. again.
โwhoa,โ he said, voice a little low and scratchy like he hadnโt talked much today, maybe a little sleepstill lingering at the edges, but then he smirked, and it was the kind of slow curling thing that shouldโve come with a health warning. โwhat the hell are you wearing?โ
you didnโt answer. couldnโt, really. because your brain short-circuited the moment your eyes tracked the line of his collarbone visible through that worn white t-shirtโthe one clinging just enough to expose the ghost of his abs underneath, because apparently he had those now, just a casual six-pack sculpted out of trauma and climate change and moral injuryโand then lower, to where the hem of the shirt barely brushed the waistband of those indecently low athletic shorts. shorts that screamed โi donโt own dignityโ but in a confident way. and legs. endless, lean, travel-worn legs like heโd gone on a side quest for new muscles.
his hair was parted to the side, a little messy but shaped like it meant to be, probably from running his fingers through it a hundred times, and his eyes were brighter than you rememberedโnot in that overworked, glassy way he used to have, but something steadier, like heโd seen some shit and come back joking about it. and his smile was sharp now. not mean. just sharper. more boyish menace than anxious darling.
โyou okay?โ he asked, still holding the door open, leaning one shoulder against the frame like heโd taken a class in posing over there. โyouโve been standing there like iโm a ghost. is this the part where you tell me iโve been dead the whole time?โ
โno,โ you blurted, then immediately hated how your voice cracked like a teenage boy about to confess his love to the back of a girlโs head in a shoujo anime. โno, youโre justโi didnโt realize youโd... grow vertically.โ
he raised an eyebrow, eyes flicking down, dramatically, then back up. โyouโre just short.โ
โliar. youโre taller than before.โ
โam i?โ he tilted his head. โi thought you just shrank. maybe thatโs what all the strawberry-print shorts are doing to your brain. estrogen shrinkage. is that a thing?โ
โyou look like a backup dancer for a washed-up j-pop group,โ you fired back, finally stepping past him into the dorm, brushing his shoulder on the way, pretending it didnโt buzz like an electric fence when you touched him. โno right looking like that at home. i almost dropped the snacks.โ
โthe what now?โ he snatched the bag from your wrist with a dramatic flourish and held it up like it was the holy grail, peering inside. โis thisโare these shrimp chips? you do love me.โ
โi didnโt say that.โ
โyour shorts said it for you.โ
โfuck you.โ
he shut the door behind you with a little too much smugness in the click, dropped the snack bag onto his desk like it was a reward for something he didnโt work for, and turned to look at you fully. โokay, but seriously. hi. you look... like you lost a fight with a dryer, and then won the war of being adorable.โ
โyouโve been back for five minutes and i already regret everything.โ
โbut you missed me.โ his voice dropped just half a note, not sultry, not teasingโjust confident, and you hated that it made your stomach go soft and fluttery like a tragic anime side character about to say something embarrassing and get hit by a car. โyou missed me so bad, didnโt you?โ
โi missed you like a hole in the head.โ
โthatโs still a kind of love,โ he grinned, stepping closer, just a little, enough to tilt his head down so his forehead almost bumped yours. โcursed and irreversible.โ
you tried to back up, hit his desk instead. fuck.
โyouโre an idiot.โ
โyou look like you wanna cry.โ
โi do. because of your face.โ
โbecause you love my face.โ
โyuuta.โ
he laughed, that soft exhale kind of laugh, warm and real and too close. his fingers grazed the snack bag again. your heart forgot how to perform basic rhythm.
you hated him. you hated how he looked better than before. more whole. more like himself. and that he wasnโt scared anymore. and that now you didnโt know if you were allowed to want him without breaking something.
โso,โ he said, turning to open the mini fridge, crouching slightly, letting his shirt ride up so you could see the shadow of his lower back and the waistband of his shorts pulling low, โwhatโs the plan, captain? movie night? tears? declaration of undying devotion? all of the above?โ
you hated him. you hated that he knew. that he was waiting.
but you were here now. no takebacks. and your knees had already lost the ability to lock.
you said, โmovie night.โ
he grinned again, not looking back. โmmhm. coward.โ
you stared at him for a second too long, a long dumb second where he was still bent over with the fridge door hanging open and the lamplight just so, highlighting the curve of his spine and the soft dip of muscle above his waistband, and he was rattling a soda can around like it owed him something, humming some godawful off-key jingle under his breath while absolutely oblivious to the fact that you were contemplating both murder and marriage at the same time. and that was dangerous. because the moment you started thinking thoughts like his back looks like a religious experience and i want to punch him in the throat, you were in too deep.
so you did the only thing your tragically flustered nervous system allowed: you walked up and kicked him square in the shin.
โowโfuck, what the hell,โ he yelped, straightening with the drama of a man shot in war, dropping the soda in the process which landed with a thud and rolled under the desk like it knew what was good for it. โwas that necessary?โ
โyes,โ you said, stepping around him like he was debris, heading straight for the tiny kitchenette shoved into the corner of the dorm like an afterthought. the popcorn bag was already in your hand, pre-buttered and microwavable and honestly the only real symbol of stability in your life at the moment. you yanked open his one cabinet, found a bowl shaped like it had been purchased in a panic, and set it down with the finality of someone trying very hard not to scream. โi am asserting dominance.โ
โby kicking me like a rabid toddler?โ he called from behind you, and you heard the stupid amusement in his voice, the Iโm-smiling-but-Iโm-also-plotting kind of grin that made you want to wrap your legs around his head and drown him in it. โwow. you really did miss me.โ
you ignored him, shoved the bag into the microwave and typed in numbers that werenโt the time but felt emotionally correct. then you heard itโthat sound. the soft, quiet approach. sockless feet brushing linoleum. and thenโ
his fingers in your hair.
it started small. just a gentle flick, like he was testing the texture, maybe reminding himself what it felt like to touch you. and you told yourself you werenโt going to react. you were strong. you were composed. you had kicked him in the shin, for godโs sake.
then he twirled a strand, slow and deliberate, looping it once, twice around his index finger like he was braiding the concept of being insufferable. and he was close. not body-pressed-close, not oh-no-weโre-about-to-kiss closeโworse. emotionally close. best-friend-who-knows-what-makes-you-crack close. and that was the real danger zone.
โi donโt remember giving you permission,โ you mumbled, not looking back, hands busy pretending to rearrange popcorn bags that didnโt need rearranging.
โyou didnโt,โ he said, twirling harder, tugging it gently like he was testing how far he could go before you screamed. โbut itโs not like youโre gonna stop me.โ
โyouโre violating the geneva convention right now.โ
โitโs hair. not nuclear arms.โ
โi will scalp you.โ
โhot.โ
you froze for a half-second, horrified by the small laugh that slipped out of your own throat, because how dare he be funny and disgusting and weirdly charming all at once. and the worst part? the actual worst part? his fingers were still in your hair. just resting there now, tangled lazy, like he belonged. like you were a thing he was allowed to touch. and your whole body was doing that thing againโheat in the gut, soft static under your skin, a flush crawling its way up your neck like shame dressed as desire.
โi hate you.โ
โyou keep saying that but youโre not convincing,โ he said, voice close to your ear now, low and amused and awful and warm. โyou didnโt even flinch.โ
โiโm biding my time. waiting for the perfect moment to shiv you with a butter knife.โ
โyou are so bad at pretending you donโt love me,โ he whispered, fingers giving your hair one last tug, then releasing like he hadnโt just incinerated every single one of your higher brain functions.
you whipped around, popcorn forgotten, bowl cradled in your hands like a weapon. โyouโre the most annoying man iโve ever met.โ
โyouโve only met like four men.โ
โand three of them were fictional.โ
โand you still picked me.โ he grinned, then leaned in so close you could count every unfair eyelash, all fluttery and boyish and violent. โtragic.โ
you opened your mouth to say somethingโanythingโbut the microwave dinged, loud and shrill like an alarm you didnโt set, and both of you jumped. he stepped back, smirking like the devil in gym shorts.
you hated him.
you also loved him.
but that wasnโt the point.
you reached past him to yank open the microwave, your arm brushing his chest on the way, and you could feel the heat of him, the bare skin under that translucent white shirt, like heโd been designed in a lab to make you clinically insane.
he didnโt move.
you didnโt either.
not yet.
fast forward past the microwave war crimes and the traumatic realization that the strawberry-print shorts rode up every time you bent even slightly, past the part where he insisted on filling a second bowl โfor tactical snack separationโ and then immediately kept both within his reach like a possessive gremlin, past the flickering mental images of throttling him versus maybe gently kissing him just to shut him upโit was later now, and you were on his bed, which felt like a decision made under spiritual duress.
you were laying on your stomach like a lazy sea creature, arms folded under the ridiculous puff of one of his old pillows, probably the one he drooled on based on how aggressively it smelled like shampoo and existentialism. the tv on his desk across the room played soft flickers of color over your bare legs, the blue hue of a night scene washing over your skin like cinematic bathwater. the pillow squished your ribs uncomfortably but you refused to move because you were locked in a delicate standoff between comfort and pride. your shirt had ridden up, naturally. you ignored it. you were committed to the bit.
he was leaned back against the headboard beside you, long legs stretched out like a relaxed golden retriever who knew he owned the whole damn room, the popcorn bowl balanced delicately between the two of you, technically for sharing but realistically under his complete jurisdiction. every now and then, when you reached for some, heโd shift the bowl slightly like a petty little landlord, then smirk when you glared without heat.
โthis is a hate crime,โ you muttered, palm in the bowl fishing blindly for something that wasnโt just kernels and betrayal.
โthis is a romantic crime,โ yuuta corrected, chewing obnoxiously loud next to your ear. โweโre bonding. weโre creating memories. youโre gonna look back at this one day and cry.โ
โiโm gonna look back and sue.โ
โiโm gonna bring this up in my vows.โ
โwhat vowsโare you marrying my corpse?โ
โgod, youโre so dramatic,โ he said, nudging the bowl toward your face just as you gave up. โhere. have a sympathy handful, you absolute victim.โ
you grumbled something incoherent but shoved your hand in before he changed his mind. your fingers touched his for a second and he didnโt flinch, just looked down at you with that dumb fondness in his eyes like heโd won a prize at the fair and couldnโt decide whether to eat it or keep it on his shelf forever.
on screen, ana steel was currently having her lip bitten by christian grey for the twelfth time in twenty minutes.
โi canโt believe you made me watch this,โ you groaned, mouth full of popcorn, turning your face into the pillow like it might drown out the secondhand embarrassment.
โexcuse me?โ he gasped, mock horror fully engaged. โi am blessing you with culture.โ
โyou made me watch a billionaire man-child stalk a woman into a bdsm contract.โ
โand he bought her a car,โ yuuta pointed out, as if that somehow absolved the war crimes happening on screen.
โhe sold her car without asking.โ
โokay, that part was unhinged,โ he admitted, stuffing another handful into his mouth. โbut also kind of hot, like in a โdonโt do this but also do this if youโre rich and emotionally damagedโ way.โ
you turned your head to look up at him, chin digging into the pillow, eyebrows furrowed. โso you identify with him?โ
he didnโt miss a beat. โi identify with ana.โ
you snorted so hard you nearly inhaled a kernel.
โwhat, like you want someone to rescue you with their trauma and a playroom full of sex toys?โ you asked, half choking on laughter.
โno,โ he said, stretching his arms behind his head with criminal smugness, โi want someone to look at me like that and let me sign a contract that outlines exactly how often iโm allowed to be annoying.โ
you rolled your eyes so hard you almost left your body.
โgod, youโre insufferable.โ
โbut lovable,โ he added, nudging your shoulder with his knee. โadmit it. you like watching horny garbage with me.โ
you didnโt answer right away, just flopped your face sideways into the pillow again, watching the screen, because the thing wasโthis was maybe the dumbest and coziest version of hell youโd ever experienced. the soft weight of his blanket tangled over both your legs. the occasional crunch as he kept eating your popcorn with the rhythm of a man chewing through existential dread. the quiet hum of the fan above you both. his presence looming, always just close enough to lean into. or over. or on.
โyouโre the garbage,โ you finally said, voice muffled. โthe movie is fine.โ
โawww,โ he cooed, leaning down, voice dripping with weaponized smugness. โis that your love language? bullying me into intimacy?โ
โdonโt flatter yourself, grey.โ
he reached over and tugged at your shirt gently, pulling the hem down over the small of your back, only to immediately pull it back up again like he was testing how much he could get away with. you smacked his hand blindly, but it made you laugh anyway, because this was himโyuuta fucking okkotsu, sweet and mean and flirty and dumb as a brick in loveโs stupidest architecture. and you hated how soft it made you feel, how completely unguarded and ridiculous andโฆ happy.
โwe should recreate the elevator scene,โ he whispered suddenly, like a war criminal.
โi will push you down the stairs.โ
โyouโre no fun. i could be your emotionally stunted dom.โ
โyou literally cry at those dog rescue videos.โ
โemotional depth isnโt a crime.โ
โyou own one pair of handcuffs and theyโre for cosplay.โ
he gasped like youโd just ruined his career. โyou promised never to bring that up.โ
โyou wore them to the school halloween party and said you were โsexy rehabilitation.โโ
โand it worked! i won second place! gojo voted for me!โ
you couldnโt breathe. your face was buried in the pillow again but this time from hysterics, your body shaking against the mattress while the movieโs dramatic music swelled in the background, completely ignored. he reached down and started playing with your hair again, soft and absentminded, fingers running over strands and occasionally tugging just to make you twitch.
โyouโre the worst,โ you muttered into the fabric.
โiโm your worst,โ he said, and it was so quiet, so offhand, so horribly gentle that you had to close your eyes for a second and hold your breath just to survive it.
the tv glowed soft and blue. the popcorn was half gone. and yuutaโs fingers were still tangled in your hair like theyโd never stopped.
you donโt remember when the popcorn bowl was exiled to the floor like a fallen soldier, when his knees bent to cage your hips in place, one on either side like he wasnโt subtly climbing you like a tree, like he didnโt just decide that personal space was a capitalist lie invented to keep you from enjoying the sheer horror of his presence, but suddenly there he wasโperched over you like a smug gargoyle with perfect posture and absolutely no sense of shame, one hand tangled in your hair again, the other casually draped over the small of your back like he was claiming territory or maybe measuring how far he could push you before you screamed into his pillow.
you were still lying on your stomach, still pinned to his stupid bed with your stupid dignity melting through the mattress like slow death, still pretending you were unaffected by the fact that he was now fully lounging on top of you like a sunbathing menace, his weight gentle but inevitable, like gravity got a personality disorder and started flirting.
โyou know,โ he drawled, voice sliding right beside your ear like a heat rash in audio form, โif i didnโt know better, iโd say you planned this.โ
you tried to lift your head but his palm gently but very firmly pressed it back into the pillow with the same exact energy as someone telling a golden retriever to โstay.โ your voice came out muffled, somewhere between indignation and a breakdown. โplanned what? the fucking suffocation?โ
โyou brought snacks,โ he said with a completely unserious shrug you could feel vibrate through your entire spine. โyou wore the shorts. youโre lying on my bed like a sacrificial offering. iโm just connecting the dots.โ
โyouโre connecting shit. youโre a conspiracy theorist with a god complex.โ
โmmm,โ he hummed, tracing a lazy circle between your shoulder blades with one finger. โgodโs out of office. iโm your problem now.โ
you flailed halfheartedly, kicked one heel back into his thigh. โiโm filing a complaint.โ
โplease do,โ he said brightly. โi love getting fan mail.โ
โyouโre soโso annoying.โ
โyouโre blushing,โ he said.
โiโm overheating under your weird emotionally co-dependent weight.โ
he bent low enough that his breath tickled the back of your neck and you wanted to slap him and kiss him and throw yourself out the window in equal measure. โyou like it. just admit it. you like when iโm all clingy and dramatic and a little mean. you missed me. so bad. like it hurt.โ
you choked on a noise that wasnโt a denial. it mightโve been a dying bird. maybe a baby crying. the tv was still playing in the background, some intense jazz instrumental under a scene where christian grey was earnestly making eye contact while unzipping something. you hated this. you loved this. you wanted to throw the remote at his head and then press your mouth to his collarbone like you could bite the word finally into his skin.
โyouโre getting cocky,โ you whispered, tilting your chin just enough to glance up at him, your face twisted in dramatic pain. โsomething happened to you out there. in africa. the mosquitoes gave you a superiority complex.โ
he laughed, short and loud and delighted, collapsing just slightly more against you, his chest brushing your back in a way that felt like someone turning a page too slowly. โnah. you just forgot i was a menace before i left. itโs all coming back now, isnโt it?โ
โi blocked it out for my mental health.โ
โyou missed me so much you forgot your own coping strategies.โ
โyouโre projecting.โ
โyou cried when i posted that video of the meerkat hugging the baby goat.โ
โbecause i have empathy.โ
โyou sent it to me with โthis is us.โโ
โbecause youโre the goat and iโm the burdened soul holding on for dear life.โ
he snorted, finally rolling just enough to the side so his weight settled against your hip instead of directly on your back, one leg still draped over yours like he was trying to win a game of human jenga. โyou love me.โ
you groaned, pulling the pillow over your face. โstop saying that.โ
โsay it back, coward.โ
โno.โ
โsay it.โ
โabsolutely not.โ
โsay you love me or iโll quote the contract scene verbatim.โ
โi dare you.โ
he took a deep breath.
you shrieked, flung the pillow directly into his face, which he caught with both hands while wheezing with laughter. โyou fucking menace. youโhow do you still know the words? do you memorize garbage?โ
โyes. and you. same folder. same cherished label.โ
you glared at him. he was laughing so hard his cheeks were flushed, his hair a mess again from rolling over too much, one curl sticking to his temple with sweat and popcorn grease, and the sight of himโreal and here and loud and breathing all over bed spaceโhit you so hard you went still for a second, like your body realized before your brain did that this was the moment, the moment, the breath before you said something you couldnโt walk back.
his eyes caught yours. quiet for once. sincere. amused, yes, always, but... waiting.
โyou are so fucking annoying,โ you whispered.
โyouโre stalling,โ he whispered back.
โyou smell like corn butter and laundry detergent.โ
โsay it.โ
โyouโre ugly.โ
โsay it.โ
โyouโre literally the worst personโโ
he grabbed your jaw. not hard, not roughโjust enough to tilt your chin up and look you in the eye, eyes glinting with something unbearable and infuriating and stupidly, ridiculously beautiful. โsay it, or iโm gonna say it first and youโll be mad about it for the next thirty years.โ
your chest hurt.
your legs tingled.
your mouth was dry and also stupid.
โi love you,โ you said, like it was a dare.
he blinked.
paused.
then, grinning like a man who just pulled off the greatest heist of his life, he leaned down, brushed your nose with his, and whisperedโ
โtook you fucking long enough.โ
you wanted to hit him. not with your fist. with a book, probably, or maybe a bag of frozen peas, or something heavy and full of metaphor like the complete works of shakespeare annotated by someone with too much time and a vendetta. because he was smiling now, but it wasnโt even a normal personโs smileโit was a stupid, slow, predatory, cat-that-ate-the-whole-zoo grin, the kind of smile that said โiโve already won and now iโm just here to gloat about it while reclining dramatically on your grave.โ
he was leaning in, still half-laughing, half-devastating, his forehead brushing yours again like he couldnโt quite resist the gravitational pull of your face and the disaster inside it. your breath hitched and your brain short-circuited and all your blood decided to throw a rave in your ears. you couldnโt look at him. so, obviously, you did.
โsay it again,โ he whispered, and the worst part was that he wasnโt even trying to be hot. he was just obnoxious and needy and chronically underloved in the most annoying way possible, which made it ten thousand times worse, because now heโd tasted victory and he wanted seconds.
โyou didnโt even say it back,โ you said, mouth dry, fingers curling into the pillow like it owed you emotional support. โwhy should i go again if youโre gonna keep holding your words hostage?โ
โoh,โ he said, tilting his head dramatically like a villain who just heard a plot twist. โdo you think this is transactional?โ
โeverythingโs transactional when your heart is on fire,โ you snapped, voice high and stupid and a little wobbly.
โjesus christ,โ he breathed, grinning wider, โyou are in love with me.โ
โno, iโm just suffering.โ
โsame thing.โ
you made a sound. an actual sound, like a dying kettle or a kettle thatโs just learned about taxes, and buried your face in the pillow again, except this time he didnโt let you escape. he grabbed your shoulders and pulled you back, just enough to keep you looking at him, just enough to make you feel every inch of him, the soft weight of his thigh over yours, the heat of his hand wrapped around your arm, his breath a lazy ghost near your cheek.
โokay,โ he said, voice lower now, still soft but stupidly smug, โyou ready?โ
โfor what,โ you mumbled.
he raised a single, unnecessary eyebrow. โiโm gonna say it back. you better not cry. or kiss me. or cry while kissing me.โ
โi am deeply unattracted to you right now.โ
โshut up.โ
you did.
he took a breath. unnecessarily long. dramatic as hell. he looked like he was about to deliver a monologue on a stage with a spotlight, except instead it was just you and him and the flickering tv in the background showing a guy tying a tie around someoneโs wrists, and the half-empty popcorn bowl on the floor like the saddest metaphor for your relationship.
โi love you,โ he said, finally, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like it wasnโt news, like he hadnโt already been living it out loud every day since you met.
you blinked.
he blinked back.
then: โthere. now weโre even. now itโs not weird anymore.โ
โitโs still weird.โ
โyouโre weird.โ
โyou love someone whoโs weird.โ
โyouโre right,โ he said. โiโve got horrible taste.โ
you tried to shove him off the bed. he caught you by the waist and laughed so loud you swore someone in the next room probably heard, and you didnโt even care anymore because it was so easy nowโlaughing with him, being angry with him, being alive with himโit all made the same kind of impossible sense.
you fell back against the mattress, still tangled in him, still dumbfounded by how something so long-simmering could feel so sudden, so now. and he was staring at you again with that specific kind of expression that should be illegalโsoft and knowing and just a little too satisfied with himself, like heโd cracked the code to life and it was just your name on repeat.
โyouโre gonna marry me one day,โ he said casually, like he was mentioning the weather.
โoh my god,โ you groaned. โplease shut the fuck up.โ
โyou are,โ he insisted, lying flat beside you now, one arm under his head, the other tracing the hem of your shirt with a pinky like he wasnโt doing it on purpose. โweโre gonna fight over dishes and have a weird little dog named knife and every time we argue iโll remind you that you confessed first.โ
โyouโre a walking restraining order.โ
โand you fell in love with me. tragic.โ
you turned your head to glare at him. he was so close his breath hit your cheek every time he exhaled. his eyes were stars and graveyards. his mouth was curled in that same stupid smile that made your stomach try to escape out your knees.
โyuuta.โ
โyes, my beloved nemesis.โ
โif you donโt shut up in the next five seconds iโm going to kiss you so hard itโll reset your nervous system.โ
โthatโs the opposite of a threat.โ
you lunged.
and he caught you.
and he kissed you like heโd already been kissing you for years. not perfect. not polished. just yours. messy, crooked, smiling into your mouth kind of kissing, hands in your hair, your fingers twisting in his shirt, legs tangled and breathless and stupid. kissing like a fight and a promise and an inside joke all at once.
when you pulled back, he was already laughing.
โtold you youโd cry while kissing me,โ he said, wiping under your eye with his thumb like the smug idiot he was.
you slapped his hand away.
and then you kissed him again.
it was deranged, truly, how fast the air changedโone second you were sprawled like a corpse of sarcasm and poor life choices on your stomach, cheeks warm, laughing against his mouth, his fingers still in your hair like theyโd grown roots there, like they were meant to stay, the whole room vibrating with that ridiculous bubble of mutual idiocy and love and โdid that really just happen?โโand the next thing you knew, he was shifting, moving with that new, awful confidence like heโd been holding back for years and the dam finally cracked. your brain barely registered the shift in weight before he sat up fully, legs folding beneath him, his hands sliding down your sides with terrifying purpose, and you were the one who ended up on his lap, straddling him like youโd been doing it since the dawn of time and the world just hadnโt caught on yet.
the tv was off. when had the tv turned off? it didnโt matter. the screen was black now, and you could see your own reflection in it behind his shoulderโwide eyes, wild hair, expression like someone whoโd just been told the apocalypse was romanticโand the room was dim, barely lit by the single desk lamp glowing soft yellow, its bulb on its last legs, everything cloaked in that kind of warmth that made skin look flushed and intentions look softer than they really were.
you didnโt remember putting your hands on his shoulders. you didnโt remember him pulling you closer. but there you were, knees pressed against the outsides of his thighs, his palms anchored at your waist like you were something solid, something worth holding onto even now, especially now, and his thumbs were rubbing gentle circles through the hem of your stupid strawberry-print shorts and you could feel the electricity behind his breathing, tight and shallow and not teasing anymore.
no more games. no more sharp-edged banter. just this.
โyouโre quiet,โ he whispered, voice the softest it had been all night, reverent almost, like he was afraid if he said it too loud the moment would fold in on itself.
โiโm overwhelmed,โ you answered, honestly, stupidly, because you couldnโt lie to him anymore, not now, not when his mouth was this close and his hands felt like home. โyouโre beingโserious.โ
he blinked, slow and soft, then smiledโnot the usual grin, not the toothy, boyish mischief. this one was small. sad in the corners. sweet in a way that hurt.
โiโm always serious with you,โ he said, brushing his nose against yours like punctuation.
โno, youโre not,โ you laughed, even as your voice trembled. โyouโre a menace.โ
โa menace whoโs in love with you,โ he murmured, pressing a kiss to the edge of your jaw, a soft thing that made your entire ribcage vibrate. โdeeply. irrevocably. stupidly.โ
โyou forgot โviolentlyโ,โ you whispered.
he kissed the corner of your mouth. โviolently,โ he echoed.
then he kissed you. properly. finally. again.
but this time it was differentโno more smirking into the press of lips, no more tongue-in-cheek or cocky little nips meant to drive you crazy. this was slower. deeper. like something heโd been holding in his lungs for a decade and now he could finally let it out. he kissed you like he wanted to memorize every reaction, every shift in breath, every way your hands trembled slightly against the curve of his neck when he tilted his head just right and exhaled into you like a confession he couldnโt quite say out loud yet.
his mouth moved against yours with that awful sweetness that made your knees weak even though you werenโt standing, the kind of kiss that said stay. the kind of kiss that didnโt have to ask.
your hands slid into his hair before you even thought about it, fingers tangling in those soft strands, pulling him closer like it wasnโt enough, like it would never be enough. and he let you, of course he did, tilting into your grip, mouth parting just enough for your teeth to catch his bottom lip and make him sighโa sound so soft and desperate it knocked every thought straight out of your head.
his arms wrapped around you tighter, one slipping under your shirt like he needed proof you were really there, fingertips ghosting up your spine, warm and shaking and tender. he kissed you again, and again, in between breaths like he was scared the distance might kill him.
โfuck,โ he breathed against your mouth, his voice breaking around the edges now, none of that performative sass left, just raw affection and nerves and that unbearable sincerity that always lived under the mess. โi missed you so much it made me fucking sick.โ
you closed your eyes. rested your forehead against his. let your nose bump his cheek. let your entire body lean into him like the safest place in the world.
โi thought about you every day,โ you whispered. โlike a freak. like some pathetic little lovesick idiot.โ
he kissed your cheek. your temple. your chin. โyeah,โ he said, โsame. weโre freaks together.โ
โsoulmates in idiocy.โ
โco-presidents of the tragic dumbass society.โ
โyuuta.โ
he looked up at you again, eyes wide and stupid and full of too much feeling.
โyeah?โ
โdonโt stop,โ you whispered.
so he didnโt. he kissed you again. again. again. slower now. messier. the kind of kiss you fell into and never came back from. the kind that changed your blood type.
you didnโt know where this was going. you didnโt care. all you knew was thisโhis hands on you, his voice in your ear, his mouth against yours like he was trying to rewrite your entire existence one breath at a time.
and god, it worked.
he kissed you like he was running out of time and breath and restraint, like every press of his mouth against yours was both apology and reward, thank you and finally, and it didnโt feel like escalation, didnโt feel like foreplay or some slippery slope into the inevitableโit felt like something older than either of you, something pulled up from under your skin and cracked open between your teeth. you could barely think. you were breathing through him, your whole world tilted on its axis and centered now around the place where your hips were pressed against his, knees bracketing his thighs, your hands still tight in his hair because if you let go you might float straight out of your body and never come back.
his palms splayed across your back like he was trying to memorize the exact pressure needed to keep you tethered, moving in soft little circles that made you shiver even though the room was hot, and his tongue flicked against your lower lip again and again, coaxing little sighs out of your throat that made him groan like he was the one unraveling. and maybe he was. maybe you both were. maybe this was the only way either of you knew how to be realโhalf-laughing, half-crying, wrapped around each other like idiots in love and out of options.
you dragged your mouth away long enough to gasp, โweโre so dumb.โ
and he, breathless and flushed and grinning like the devil had just offered him a promotion, replied, โyeah, but weโre hot.โ
you snorted, chest heaving, and dipped your head into the crook of his neck, lips brushing against the column of his throat as you laughed directly against his pulse. โyouโre ridiculous.โ
โyouโre hesitating,โ he shot back, and it took you a second to realize what he meant, to follow the trail of thought through the haze of heat and affection and general hormonal disaster. your hands had shifted, were now fisted lightly in the hem of his shirt, that worn, thin white thing clinging to his chest in soft folds, semi-transparent under the lamplight. youโd tugged it up just a littleโjust high enough to expose the first dangerous inch of his stomachโbut then stopped. froze. like a coward.
โiโm not hesitating,โ you muttered, because lying was easier than having a panic attack mid-makeout.
he pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes dark and amused and way too full of affection for someone being slandered. โyouโre totally hesitating. youโre scared of my abs.โ
โiโm not scared of your abs.โ
โyouโre scared of my hot, missionary-sent-me abs. youโre intimidated.โ
โyouโre literally the most annoying man alive.โ
โyou love my annoying abs.โ
โyuuta,โ you said, trying to be serious, trying to slow the momentum of the joke before it took over everything again. โi justโi donโt know.โ
he went quiet. not in a bad way. not in a oh no now heโs overthinking way. just soft. aware. like heโd felt the shift in your hands, your posture, the way you were still touching him but also thinking too much.
he brought his hand up to your cheek, tilted your face back toward his with two fingers under your chin, and whispered, โhey. look at me.โ
you did. of course you did.
his eyes were stupidly gentle, like a blanket you didnโt ask for but needed anyway.
โwe donโt have to do anything. we donโt have to do anything,โ he said, clear and calm and slow like he wanted to make sure every word landed in the right place. โi just wanna kiss you. i could kiss you for, like, seven years. we can pause for snacks. maybe a nap.โ
you blinked, suddenly a little breathless again but for a different reason.
โyouโre so dumb,โ you whispered, but it cracked halfway out.
โand youโre still holding my shirt like it personally offended you.โ
you looked down at your hands, still clenched in the hem like it owed you rent. the skin under your fingers was warm, soft, the faintest hint of tremble under his calm like he wasnโt nearly as unaffected as he pretended to be.
slowly, carefully, you moved your fingers again. just a bit. tugged the fabric higher.
yuuta didnโt move. didnโt help. just watched you. patient. still.
you pushed it up over his stomach, revealing moreโsoft skin, lean lines, that ridiculous little dip under his ribs that was definitely not helping your composure, and finally, the undeniable definition of his abs. stupid. taut. completely unnecessary. like someone designed him with the express purpose of making you go into cardiac arrest.
โjesus,โ you mumbled. โi thought this was just the lighting earlier.โ
he smirked, tilting his head. โyou can say it. youโre turned on.โ
โiโm not gonna feed your ego.โ
โbaby, youโre literally in my lap.โ
โon accident.โ
โsure.โ
your hands slid higher, just a little more, and he leaned back slightly to help you, finally, tugging the shirt off the rest of the way and over his head, tossing it to the side with a casual flick that really shouldnโt have been so hot but unfortunately was. his chest was bare now, lit golden in the low light, the shadows making every line look sharper than necessary. he sat there, proud and obnoxious and gorgeous, arms resting loosely around your waist, eyes half-lidded and waiting.
โso?โ he said. โwhatโs the verdict?โ
you stared for a beat too long, then shook your head. โi hate you so much.โ
he leaned forward, mouth brushing yours, and whispered, โyouโre drooling.โ
you kissed him before he could finish laughing, kissed him hard and hungry and full of frustration and gratitude and longing that had nowhere else to go. his hands slid back up your spine again, then down, slow and warm and steady, and you pressed your chest against his, skin to skin now, breath tangled and mouths moving in sync like it was muscle memory.
this was different now. not just soft. not just playful. it was still dumb, still full of laughter and half-whispers and too many feelings, but it was honest. real. the kind of closeness you only earned after months of pretending not to want it.
his mouth moved to your jaw, then your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses along the curve until you shivered, his hands holding you like you were fragile and indestructible at the same time.
โokay,โ you breathed, fingers threading through his hair again. โokay. maybe i am turned on.โ
he laughed against your skin, a low hum that made your whole body vibrate.
โyeah,โ he said, voice low and satisfied. โme too.โ
you felt it before you saw itโhis fingers sliding under the hem of your shirt, slow and reverent, like he was approaching a religious artifact and not your tragically old white cotton tee that probably still had mystery stains from dorm laundry hell and smelled vaguely like microwaved snacks and anxiety. his hands were warm, thumbs dragging along your ribs, and your breath caught halfway out of your throat because he wasnโt being cocky now, wasnโt making jokes or weird noises or doing that thing where he said something infuriating just to watch your face implodeโno, he was focused. soft. maddeningly gentle. like he was scared of spooking you. like he was trying to do this right.
he looked at you the entire time, didnโt glance down once, even as the shirt bunched under your arms, his fingers pushing it up your back and then over your head in one smooth motion that felt too intimate to be legal, too slow to be real, and the way his eyes locked on yours as the fabric peeled away? criminal. unhinged. deeply dangerous. you could feel your heart trying to claw its way out of your chest cavity and throw itself out the window.
and then, like an idiot, like a grinning stupid horrible soft idiot, he said:
โwhoa.โ
โif you make a single joke,โ you warned, voice threatening but also fragile, the kind of tone that cracked around the edges like old ceramic.
โno jokes,โ he said immediately, holding up both hands like he was surrendering to the law but still resting them dangerously close to your spine. โi swear on gojoโs dumb designer sunglasses. youโreโshit. youโre so pretty. itโs actually rude.โ
you didnโt know what to do with that. so you stared at him, blinking like someone who just got told they won a sweepstakes they didnโt enter, and tried not to melt into a puddle of hormonal regret.
you were still in your bra, obviously. thin-strapped, slightly crooked from his earlier manhandling, one cup sitting a little askew like youโd been in a romantic fender-bender. you felt like a hot mess. he looked like he wanted to write poetry about it.
โyuuta,โ you murmured, unsure of what you were even trying to say.
he leaned in, kissed your collarbone with a soft press of lips that made your head tilt back instinctively, then trailed downโslow, slow, like a river taking its time to flood. and then his hands moved again, sliding up your back, thumbs brushing your shoulder blades, one finger hooking under the band of your bra in that way that made your stomach absolutely plummet.
his mouth was still on your skin when he said, half-muffled and far too casual:
โcan i?โ
the bastard had already found the clasp. one hand resting over it like it was a button to a secret door. your entire body was stiff and molten at once.
you breathed. shallow. shaky. said, โyouโre asking now?โ
he had the decency to chuckle into your shoulder, the vibration making your skin break out in chills.
โconsent is hot,โ he whispered, โeven if iโm already halfway there.โ
โyuuta,โ you said again, but softer this time, more like a prayer than a warning.
he pulled back to look at you, and fuckโhis face. flushed. open. stupidly beautiful. eyes wide and waiting, not pushing. not assuming. just there.
you nodded. slow. a little dizzy.
โyeah,โ you whispered. โyou can.โ
his fingers moved without hesitation nowโnot rough, not rushedโjust sure. the clasp gave way with a quiet click, the tension in the band loosening, and he slid his hands under the straps as if to say, i got you, even though he didnโt say anything at all. the fabric slipped down your arms like surrender. you let it. let him.
his eyes dropped, finally, but the look wasnโt hungry. it wasnโt some clichรฉ moment of ogling. it was worse. it was tender. reverent. like you were something to be memorized, not devoured. like he was seeing you for the first time and the only thing in his brain was thank you.
his voice cracked a little when he said, โholy shit.โ
you wanted to laugh. or cry. or combust. maybe all three.
so you did the only thing you could: you grabbed his face, held it in both hands like you were trying to mold it into something you could survive, and kissed him again. desperate. grateful. a little shaky. and he kissed you back like you were the only thing tethering him to earth.
he didnโt touch your chestโnot yet, not even a hint of suggestion. he just wrapped his arms around you, full body, buried his face in your neck and whispered, โyouโre gonna ruin me.โ
and you whispered back, โgood.โ
and meant every word.
the air in the room shifted like it had caught on fire, not the loud kind, not the dramatic blaze that engulfed buildings and screamed for attentionโno, this was the slow, creeping kind, the burn that started in your chest and worked its way outward, cell by cell, inch by inch, until even the dim, flickering lamplight felt like it was watching you both a little too closely. and there you were, bare from the waist up now, still straddling his lap like a disaster waiting to happen, like a headline, like a statistic in a very affectionate cautionary tale, his arms around your ribs so gently it felt like gravity was being polite about it, and his face buried in the crook of your neck like he was hiding from his own goddamn feelings.
he hadnโt moved since you said itโgoodโhadnโt laughed or made some snarky little comeback, which was alarming in itself because that was his whole brand, wasnโt it? being a menace in the shape of a boy you stupidly trusted with your life and now your shirt. but instead, he just exhaled. slow. hot. reverent. like that single word did something to him he wasnโt ready to admit.
and then, of course, because he couldnโt help himselfโbecause silence was a threat to his personalityโhe whispered, voice muffled into your throat, โyouโre evil.โ
โyouโre clingy,โ you muttered, even as your arms looped around his shoulders like anchors, like reflex.
โyou just said you wanted to ruin me. do you hear yourself?โ
โi said good, which was not a threat.โ
โoh no, it was,โ he said, finally pulling back to look at you, and he looked wrecked already, hair a mess, lips bitten pink, cheeks flushed, pupils blown out like heโd seen some divine truth in the curve of your collarbone. โyouโre saying things like that while sitting on my lap and half-naked and then acting surprised when i combust.โ
โyou havenโt combusted yet,โ you said, tilting your head, โdo i need to try harder?โ
his jaw dropped. his handsโthose goddamn hands, all heat and reverence and menaceโgripped your hips a little tighter, not rough but anchoring, like he needed to confirm you were real and also possibly prevent you from flying off the rails, which was ironic because you were the one currently holding yourself together with a thread and a half.
โokay,โ he said, nodding slowly, eyes narrowing like he was processing a new kind of threat. โokay. so this is what weโre doing.โ
โwhat are we doing?โ
โyouโre playing innocent while literally breaking me.โ
โiโm not innocent,โ you said, inching forward just slightly, just enough to make his breath hitch in a way that made you feel like youโd grown wings, like maybe you could ruin him if you tried. โiโm just not doing anything.โ
โthatโs the problem,โ he said, and then, like he couldnโt help himself, he leaned in again, lips brushing against your neck, your shoulder, your collarbone, soft kisses dropped like punctuation marks in a letter he hadnโt finished writing. โyouโre not doing anything and iโm still losing my fucking mind.โ
you reached up, brushed his hair back from his forehead, your fingers sliding into the mess like they belonged there, like theyโd always been there. he looked up at you from under his lashes, and it hit you all over againโhow stupidly pretty he was, how unfair his face was in this lighting, how every expression on him looked like a confession.
โyuuta,โ you whispered, and it wasnโt a warning this time. it wasnโt even a question. it was just his name, soft and unsteady and full of every terrible, wonderful thing you hadnโt had the guts to say before.
โyeah?โ he breathed, hands still on your waist, fingers twitching like he was trying so hard not to move.
you kissed him again. because what else could you do? his mouth opened under yours like it had been waiting, like it knew how to respond to your rhythm, your breath, your hunger before you even gave it a name. this kiss was slower, but not gentler. it was deep, exploratory, a little unhinged, teeth catching his lip, your hips shifting against his thighs without permission, and he groaned into your mouth like it surprised him, like the noise escaped before he could trap it.
โfuck,โ he gasped when you finally pulled back for air, forehead pressed to yours. โyou kiss like youโre trying to make me pass out.โ
โgood,โ you said again, and he made a sound, something between a growl and a laugh and a strangled plea.
โyou keep saying that,โ he muttered, hands sliding up your sides now, not pushing, not groping, just holding, like he needed the contact, needed the skin-on-skin like it was a lifeline. โand it keeps getting hotter.โ
you shivered, not because of the coldโthere was none, not here, not with him breathing like that, not with your skin pressed against his, not with your heart trying to climb out of your mouth and build a shrine to his name in the back of your throatโbut because of the weight of it. all of it. everything youโd kept hidden between laughter and fake arguments and eye-rolls. it was all out now. and he was still looking at you like you were the best decision heโd ever made.
โwhat happens now?โ you asked, not quite trusting your voice.
he smiled, slow and devastating, one thumb rubbing a line across your waist like he was signing something unspoken.
โwhatever you want,โ he said. โthisโโ he kissed the corner of your mouth, โโis yours.โ he kissed your jaw, โyou call the shots.โ kissed the dip under your ear, โyou tell me when to stop.โ
you leaned into him, breathing fast, laughing a little even though it felt like you were about to cry.
โgod, youโre such a dumbass romantic.โ
โonly for you,โ he whispered, and meant it so hard you could feel it in your teeth.
and you believed him. like a fool. like someone ready to fall and call it flying.
you kissed him again. and this time, you didnโt hesitate.
the words slipped out like a crime, like you hadnโt meant to say them but also had meant to say them every second since you walked through his door with that bag of snacks swinging from your wrist like a peace offering and a loaded weaponโyour lips grazed his, your mouth half-open from breathless kissing, brain so loud and full of him it almost cracked, and then there it was, out in the air between you, all soft and stupid and sharp at the edges:
โi want to do it.โ
it wasnโt seductive. it wasnโt breathy or pornographic or dripping with confidence. it was shy and shaken and maybe even a little too high-pitched, like your body knew what it wanted before your voice had a chance to rehearse. but the second you said it, you felt it click. like the moment when you find a light switch in the dark and flip it without knowing what room youโre in.
he stilled. for once, yuuta didnโt grin. didnโt make a joke. didnโt even blink for a second. his hands were still on your waist, bare skin under his fingers, and his forehead was still against yours, but something in his eyes shiftedโsome soft, wide-eyed mix of holy-shit and are-you-sure and oh-god-oh-god-oh-fuck.
he swallowed. slow. shallow. said, barely above a whisper, โare you sure?โ
you nodded. once. twice. then whispered it too, because it was true now, every part of you humming like a live wire, โyeah. iโm sure.โ
and then he kissed you like it was his last chance to memorize the shape of your mouth, slow and deep and gentle in a way that was almost reverent, like youโd said something sacred instead of something horny. his hands moved with the kind of patience that shouldโve been illegal, every touch featherlight but confident, and when he finally laid you back onto the bed, his fingers never left your skinโnot once. it was less like he was trying to get you naked and more like he was trying to hold you steady while the world spun off its axis.
he made you laugh in the middle of it, too. of course he did. youโd accidentally kneed him in the thigh while trying to scoot back and he made a whole dramatic performance out of itโgroaning, falling onto the bed beside you like youโd mortally wounded him, then catching you with one arm and dragging you down with him, both of you breathless and flushed and laughing like the dumbass soulmates you were. he kissed you through it, kissed your laughter, kissed the corners of your mouth like they were the most important coordinates heโd ever mapped.
and when the laughing stoppedโwhen the air got heavy and quiet and full of warmth instead of nervesโit was slow. careful. so gentle you almost cried. hands and mouths and breath, the soft sounds of skin finding skin and hearts beating too fast. nothing about it was polished or poetic. it was awkward and intimate and full of stupid sweetness, little whispered โis this okay?โ and โdoes that feel good?โ and โi think iโm dying but in a good way,โ and god, it was so real. when it finally happenedโwhen he was inside you, when his breath hitched in your ear and his hand squeezed yours like a lifelineโyou realized it wasnโt about perfect. it was about him. about you. about finally getting to say i love you in a language you didnโt know you spoke.
and then, silence.
warm, golden, soft-edged silence, the kind that only came when everything was said and nothing had to be explained.
the room was still. the sheets a little twisted. your legs tangled with his under the blanket he mustโve pulled over you at some point, and your head resting on his chest like it had always meant to live there. you were both still naked, but the air didnโt feel coldโit felt right. safe. like you were inside a bubble that nothing outside the dorm could touch.
his hand was on your back. slow circles. absentminded. your name humming under his breath like a song he didnโt want to forget. you could hear his heart, steady now. solid.
โyouโre weirdly quiet,โ he murmured eventually, voice low and raspy like heโd been yelling all day when really heโd only been falling in love out loud.
you nuzzled into his collarbone, lips brushing warm skin. โiโm trying to preserve brain cells.โ
โdid i ruin you that bad?โ
โyuuta.โ
โdonโt lie. i felt your soul leave your body halfway through.โ
โi tripped over the blanket and headbutted your chin.โ
โexactly. transcendent.โ
you laughed. he kissed your temple.
and in the quiet that followed, he whispered, softer this time, โi love you.โ
you smiled, eyes closed, body sore in the best way possible.
โi know,โ you whispered back. โi felt it.โ
and you did.
everywhere. still do.
you laid there in that post-apocalyptic emotional soup of skin-on-skin warmth and sex-brain fog, limbs tangled like a pair of cats that fell asleep mid-fight, the blanket half slipping off one side of the bed like even gravity was too blissed out to care anymore. yuutaโs arm was still looped around your back like a seatbelt he refused to unbuckle, his hand absentmindedly tracing lazy, reverent little lines up and down your spine like he was trying to learn braille from your vertebrae. your face was tucked into the crook of his neck, because of course it wasโbecause it was safe there, stupidly comfortable there, smelled like him there: warm skin and detergent and sweat and something sweet, like caramelized embarrassment. and for a while you just laid there, breathing slow, matching each otherโs exhales, letting your pulse learn how to stop breakdancing.
and then your dumbass brain did what it always did in quiet moments.
it started thinking.
you didnโt mean to speak. not really. it started as a thought, then became a hypothetical, then suddenly it was a sound pushing its way out of your mouth without warning, wobbling on the edge of hesitation and a laugh and full-on dread.
โso, um,โ you mumbled against his collarbone, lips barely moving, โdoes this mean youโre, likeโฆ my boyfriend?โ
he stilled. dramatically. completely. like a lizard who sensed danger. you felt every muscle in his chest lock up under your cheek like youโd just asked him if he believed in god and monogamy in the same breath.
and then: โwait,โ he said slowly, blinking up at the ceiling like heโd been personally betrayed by the sudden emergence of consequences. โwe didnโt define the relationship before having sex? weโre heathens. weโre criminals. weโre going to moral jail.โ
you groaned immediately. โnever mind. cancel the question. take it off the table.โ
โno, no, you brought the table out. now weโre gonna eat off it. weโre gonna have a whole discourse. with sides.โ
โshut upโโ
โyou shut up,โ he shot back, turning to face you properly now, rolling you a little so your leg slid higher over his hip, his hand gripping your thigh like punctuation. โyou asked. so letโs unpack. do you want me to be your boyfriend? is this an exclusive, high-stakes, one-man show?โ
โyou literally said you loved me like five minutes ago.โ
โpeople say crazy things during sex,โ he said, eyes wide, clearly holding back a laugh. โi once said โletโs goโ in the middle of sex in my dream like i was about to ascend. anythingโs possible.โ
you slapped his chest. โyuuta. focus.โ
he caught your hand before it retreated, laced his fingers through yours, and looked at you with that annoying mix of mockery and affection that made your heart feel like it was doing cartwheels in a minefield.
โyou want me to be your boyfriend?โ he asked again, quieter now, like maybe he wasnโt entirely joking anymore. โis that what this is?โ
you swallowed, suddenly shy again, the post-sex high replaced with an equally stupid rush of panic and oh fuck this is real. โi meanโฆ if you want to. if you donโt already have, like, a girl in every jujutsu region.โ
โfirst of all,โ he said, gently squeezing your hand, โyou are the only dumbass iโve ever stripped for. and second, of course i want to. i already am. iโve been your boyfriend in spirit since the moment you called me a โwalking restraining orderโ and then gave me your last shrimp chip.โ
you blinked. โyou really consider that the turning point?โ
โi fell in love right then,โ he said seriously. โi knew you were the one.โ
โyouโre so full of shit.โ
โyour boyfriend is full of shit,โ he corrected smugly. โsay it. call me your boyfriend. do it. you started this, coward.โ
you groaned again, burying your face in his neck, which was a mistake because now he was laughing and smug and warm and his stupid heartbeat was right under your ear, reminding you that yes, you loved this idiot. and yes, apparently, he was yours now.
โyuuta,โ you muttered.
โsay it.โ
โyouโre my boyfriend,โ you grumbled, barely audible.
โlouder, babe.โ
โyouโre my fucking boyfriend,โ you said, half-snarling, half-laughing.
he grinned so hard you thought his face might crack. โfuck yeah i am. lock me in. relationship status: unhinged and fully committed.โ
โi hate you.โ
โyou love me.โ
โshut up.โ
he rolled you both over until he was on top again, elbows on either side of your head, his hair flopping down into your face, and he kissed you quick and messy and happy, like he couldnโt help it, like he didnโt care about breath or rules or what happened next.
when he pulled back, his eyes were shining.
โgirlfriend,โ he said.
you rolled your eyes. โboyfriend.โ
he smirked. โhorny and in love. what a time to be alive.โ
and then he kissed you again, just to seal the deal, because apparently, thatโs what boyfriends do.
yuta okkotsu has loved and adored you ever since he met you, absolutely infatuated with your skill in photography for his team and how you carried yourself with othersโ self-assured, never once letting anyone talk to you a certain way, and the sweetest thing ever to him, giving him the time of day when he feels like a loser moron that certainly doesn't deserve it. one problem though? you have a piece of shit asshole of a boyfriend who somehow became the exception to treating you badly. and yuta can't take it anymore, his year long pent up yearning and frustration for you piling to the brim before either of you realize it... until it bursts.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, cursing, FLUFFFF, yearning, pining, SMUT, mentions of a toxic relationship beware, yuta is IN LOVE with you omg, ANGST AFFF, reader is the photographer for yuta's team, sexual themes, filthy dirty talk, fingering, pet names, readers bf is a dickhead, best friends to lovers, mentions of reader having โpink cheeksโ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 11.7k
authors note: WELCOME TO PART TWOOOO OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REEEAADDINGGGG MWAH MWAH MWAH !!! amazing strawberry patch divider by @/saradika-graphics !!
PART ONE of this fic is available here! please read that first :)
โyour stats are just not cutting it to where theyโre supposed to be kid.โ
his manager sighed, flipping through bundles of paperworkโ sitting at the end of the huge oval table in the conference room, yuta and his coach seated on either sides.
โreally?โ yutaโs brows furrowed. โnoโ i mean i understand but i've been playing decent these last couple of gamesโโ
โthat you have.โ his manager sent him a half smile, tossing a single white piece of paper and it sliding his way, yuta shooting a hand out to catch it.
at the top of the letter, bolded in big fat red letters, was a phrase that made him sick to his stomach.
player trade notice.
โbut a couple months' worth of games, and plus the fiasco we had at the homecoming game, isnโt gonna make up for the entire season okkotsu.โ his manager explained, genuine sympathy plastered on his face as he leaned forward and folded his fingers over the table. โi do applaud you for playing better recently, i do, believe me. but...โ
yuta felt like he was gonna vomit.
โnot unless you play so terrifically and the team manages to make it into the superbowl this year... iโm afraid weโre gonna have to trade you off for the next year. and moving forward.โ
he was cold, and clammy, the blood completely drained from his face as he sat there staring at the stupid piece of paper.
yuta okkotsu had officially exhausted his luck and met the inevitable end of his career.
โi understand.โ he quietly replied, his coach and his management exchanging worried looks.
โlisten okkotsuโโ his coach began. โitโs not permanent yet... right? you've been one of my most loyal players and i'd hate to see you go. just... just work hard and hope that we make it into the superbowl, alright?โ
his manager cut in. โitโs never easy letting one of you boys go believe us, and i do applaud you again for that wicked touchdown you made during playoffs last seasonโโ
yuta drowned out the rest of that meeting, all the way up until he blankly shook both their hands and took the contract from the table, thanking the both of them for their time and the opportunity before quietly closing the door behind him, silently making his way back to the locker room to pack up his stuff for the night.
had the meeting really run for that long that practice was over? it had genuinely felt like at least ten minutes to him... what more could they have possibly said?
it's not like it mattered anyway, because yuta was not only losing his team, his career, and his livelihood... but you.
he would no longer see you every morning and every night on weekdays. he'd no longer see you from across the stadiumโ taking pictures for your work and doing what you did best. heโd no longer have your water bottle in his cubby or your giggles in his ears when he managed to make you laugh in passing.
he'd no longer have nanami to guide him. he'd no longer have his cheerleader friend to lean on.
he wouldnโt have anything.
he wouldnโt have fucking youโ
โyo okkotsu. the hell were you?โ
yuta snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, his gaze met with itsuki just exiting from the locker room doors.
god not now man.
โyou left the rest of practice we were down a receiver.โ he lifted a brow at him. โand y/n has been waiting in there for you for like an hour already.โ
yuta's face dropped. โhasโ has she?โ
itsuki rolled his eyes.
โjesus as if you donโt already make it more obvious dude.โ he hiked his duffel bag further up his shoulder. โyou know she has a boyfriend right? so what are you doing?โ
yuta's eyes drew into slits. โiโm not doing anything what are you on about.โ
itsuki snorted and started trekking down the hall.
โright yeah. listen sheโs hot as hell but do you really think sheโd wanna be with you? of all people? if it was nanami i'd believe it.โ
โitsuki i'm not in the mood tonight so just go the fuck home.โ
โiโm just trying to help you!โ he called from down the hall. โforget about her already! you're out of the running!โโ
yuta kicked the locker room doors open, having to physically remove himself away from itsuki to refrain from literally murdering him, yuta completely missing the way you jumped at the loud noise from where you sat as he flung the letter somewhere in his cubby.
โhi yu.โ you softly greeted.
โhi.โ he mumbled.
why was he such a god damn failure?
you faltered a bit at his tone, but continued nonetheless.
โi um... i wanted to thank you again for the flowers!โ you faintly smiled. โand for being there for me...โ
โsโfine.โ
he ripped his gloves off and threw them in his cubby, along with pulling whatever padding he had nestled underneath his jersey off.
โiโ i talked to reno and we managed to work it out...โ you timidly explained.
he froze, eyes stuck to the floor.
โso you donโt have to worry about me anymore heh! he told me that he was sorry and that he had dinner reservations for tomorrow nightโโ
โdonโt count on it.โ
you stopped, blinking dumbfounded for a couple of seconds.
โhโ huh?โ
โi said donโt count on it.โ he snapped from over his shoulder, and you flinched at his tone.
yuta wasnโt one to talk to you like that.
โ...what do you mean?โ
he spun around and flailed his arms out in exasperation.
โwhat do i mean? y/nโโ he dug a hand in his hair. โheโs a piece of shit! he doesnโt love you!โ
your jaw dropped.
โare youโโ
โhow do you not see it?!โ he shook his head side to side. โiโve watched him be so fucking awful to you for almost two years, he forgets your anniversary, basically verbally abuses you over the phone, and you forgave him?! again?โ
โyes because heโs my boyfriend yutaโโ
โand what am i?!โ he yelled in desperation. โdid you forget what happened earlier? what i said?!โ
you gnawed on the inside of your cheek.
โwhatโ what did youโโ
โi fucking love you y/n! that's what i said!โ
yuta was so done.
he was done with his team, he was done with the nfl, and he was done watching you be with another man that couldnโt care less about you when he was right freaking there.
โi canโtโ i canโt eat, i canโt sleep, i canโt play football i canโt do anything because i'm literally sick over you and youโre with him!โ
the sight of his bloodshot glistening eyes killed you, and you sniffled, frantically trying to blink back your own tears.
โi canโt get you out of my head baby.โ yuta frantically shook his head again, a palm to his forehead. โiโm so fucking sorry y/n i tried i swear to god i tried but i canโt do it i canโt shake you i canโtโโ
baby.
โโi held on for as long as i could and i kept myโ my space but i just canโt do it anymore. i would do anything for you i'd let you do whatever you wanted i'd let you get a cat!โ
โyutaโโ
โso what am i to you.โ he cut you off, his breathing ragged and cheeks flushed red as he dropped his arm. โafter what happened earlier in here. what am i to you.โ
you hiccuped. โyu youโreโ youโre my best friendโโ
he let out a pained breath and closed his eyes. โdonโt give me that shit y/n pleaseโโ
โyou are!โ you argued. โyouโre everything to me youโre notโโ
โtheyโre trading me off.โ
you locked up. โwhat?โ
โthatโs what the meeting was about that nanami came in here for.โ he sniffed. โiโm being traded. m'leaving in a few months.โ
your heart dropped to the pits of your stomach, your blood running cold and feeling like this wasnโt real, like you werenโt currently fighting with yuta and that he wasnโt being kicked from the team, like he wasnโt officially being beat down by the industry like youโd feared so much for all along.
โyou canโt beโ you canโt be seriousโโ
yuta turned his body and reached behind for the notice in his cubby, holding it out for you and you quickly taking it, hurriedly wiping your eyes and cheeks so you could see it clearly.
player trade notice: yuta okkotsu.
a breath of disbelief escaped your throat, flipping the paper over to its back and then to the front, over and over as if that was going to make this situation any better.
โcoach says my only saving is if i play well and the team gets into the superbowl, which isnโt possible and you know that.โ he numbly explained. โso i'm asking you again.โ
you snapped your head up from the notice.
โwhat am i to you.โ
why couldnโt you figure it out? why couldnโt you fucking admit it? why was your skin and chest burning so badly when you looked at yutaโs teary eyes?
but reno...
your hands trembled as you set the notice down on the bench, a sob wracking through you as you crossed your arms and hugged yourself.
โyouโre... my best friend.โ you spoke through your tears, diverting your gaze.
yuta slumped then and squeezed his eyes shut, his heart actively breaking into a million fucking pieces in that moment as he put a hand over his chestโ not knowing of why but just needing to do it or else he felt like he was going to die.
you had made your choice.
and stupid itsuki was right.
โi thinkโ i think me leaving is for the best.โ he shakily spoke, turning around and dragging his backpack out from his cubby. โi really canโt be here anymoreโโ
โno yuta donโt say that please donโt say thatโโ
you speed walked over and grabbed his wrist, tugging and willing for him to look at you.
he didnโt.
โwhy are you even friends with me to begin with.โ he mumbled. โit's because you feel bad for me isnโt it?โ
a pang of hurt and anger shot through your chest.
โare you kidding?โ you asked incredulously.
his frustration was entirely misdirected at this point, and his heart was screaming and pulling at him to stop what he was doing and just make amends with you, to stop making you cry, toโ toโ
โmโnot.โ he laughed humorlessly then. โwhy else would you even talk to me y/n... you pity me because i'm the worst god damn player hereโโ
โhow could you say that?!โ you raised your voice, broken hearted in your own way as you stared at the side of his face with narrowed wet eyes. โdo you even know who the fuck i am?!โ
he turned to face you head on and your fingers slipped from his wrist, expressionless with silent tears streaming down his face.
โyou of all people should know that i would never do some shit like that! much less to you!โ
yuta did know that.
โi care about you yuta! so fucking much i care and i worry and i think about you but i've never pitied you! not even once!โ
โthatโs why i canโt be here.โ he choked out. โbecause you do that and it makes me want you more and iโ canโt.โ
โdonโt say that please...โ you sobbed. โplease yu justโ i need you here with me.โ
he lifted his hands and carefully cupped your face as you cried, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs again and again despite the fact that it was practically useless with how much you were crying, each hiccup and beg that you iterated further tearing him apart into smaller bits and pieces.
โi love you pretty girl.โ he whispered. โi love you and i canโt be here.โ
โyu!โโ
yuta turned your face and smushed his lips to your cheek in a firm kissโ squeezing his eyes shut in utter agony as you stood there wide eyed.
he couldnโt control himself anymore, knowing that heโd fucked it all with you by doing what he did and saying what he saidโ stupidly crossing the lines of what it took to lose you forever when he swore up and down that he never would.
but he just couldnโt do it anymore.
yuta held you there for a couple of seconds before detaching his lips with a little chuu, dropping his hands and snatching his backpack from the ground.
โmโsorryโโ he choked on a sob and wiped his eyes with his arm, slinging his bag over his shoulder without sparing you a glance and quickly walking to the exit, pushing his way through the doorsโ leaving you.
you didnโt speak to each other for four weeks after that.
it was a mutual avoidance, the both of you no longer attached to the hip as you stayed on your respective sides of whateverโ the field, the locker room, the wrap up at the end of the day to go homeโ the walk through the parking lot that was awfully quiet now without either of you babbling about anything you wanted.
yuta would cautiously make sure that you werenโt in a room first before going in himself, or you would keep your distance from him on the field when capturing photographs, neither of you even looking at one another except for stolen glancesโ your eyes somewhere else while his somber ones were on yours, lingering there just up until you turned your head, his gaze switching off and replaced by you looking at himโ a tangled up ball of guilt and heartache in your chest that hadnโt gone away since the day you argued.
it was obvious enough that your cheerleader friend noticed, along with nanami, the two of them gently questioning you every now and then about how either of you were doing... about why you weren't speaking to yuta, why he wasnโt speaking to you, the answer always the same every time they asked.
you both were just busy.
did they buy it? no. but they knew better than to question.
it was torture and fucked up for the two of you. you missed yuta... and you didnโt know if you could ever forgive yourself for hurting him in the way that you did.
and yuta shouldโve known better than to assume heโd ever be a choice to you.
his lack of sleep grew worse, along with his self-loathing and misery, his body considerably aching all over despite him sustaining zero injuries during practices, him justโ exhausted every day and mourning you even when you were standing just a few feet away from him across the field, beautiful and lovely and a girl that didnโt belong to him no matter how many times he wished and begged for it.
he was sick in the heart because of you.
โspeak with her.โ nanami spoke while rearranging his cubby, yuta sitting on the bench nearest to him with his head hung low.
โthis has gone on for quite a while. enough of a while actually.โ
yuta solemnly shook his head, eyes trained to the ground as he absentmindedly tugged at his fingers.
โi canโt.โ he mumbled. โi really canโt.โ
โbecause of your pride?โ
โwhat? no.โ he softly pushed. โit has nothing to do with that...โ
โiโm failing to understand the issue okkotsu.โ nanami sighed through his nose, pausing what he was doing to look at him from over his shoulder. โi thought you loved her enough to make amends.โ
he faltered. โiโ i do.โ
โthen speak with herโโ
โthe difference is she knows now nanami...โ yuta picked his head up to match his gaze. โthings canโt go back to the way they were i donโtโ i just canโt do it.โ he tiredly rubbed at his eyes. โi canโt be her friend anymore.โ
yuta messed things up with you... you messed things up with him... there was nothing more to it. nothing more to do.
and the fact was quickly eating away at him.
nanami silently nodded then, moving around a bit to take a seat next to him on the bench.
โyouโre correct.โ he spoke. โshe knows. she made her choice. there is nothing you can do.โ
yuta's throat tightened.
โbut if you love her enough to set your needs aside one final time, youโll find that making amends with her will hurt far less than you leaving things the way they are.โ
yuta looked away, his brows pinched together in gloom, a permanent frown stitched on his face.
โitโll help you find peace okkotsu...โ nanami continued. โallow yourself to have a bit of it by knowing you did everything you could to get her.โ
a beat of silence followed.
โyouโll live to regret it if you donโt. i promise you.โ
peace.
what even was that if you werenโt the one giving it to him?
with a heavy pat to his shoulder, nanami stood and grabbed his duffel bag, murmuring for him to consider it just before packing up the last of his things and leaving, yuta sitting there in his thoughts as the locker room vacated little by little, all the way up until it was just him and the slight buzzing hum of the air conditioning unit.
yuta sighed after a few moments and placed his hands on his knees to help himself up off the bench, silently walking over to his cubby to take his backpack and sling a strap over his shoulder, zipping up his jacket before making his way out of the locker room for the night.
he wondered when it was that you went home.
he wondered if reno was still being mean to you.
he wondered a lot of things as he walked through the empty stadium, entirely preoccupied in his whirling aching brain to pay attention to where he was going, his hands stuffed in his pockets with his head downโ almost thinking it was comical how heโd lost practically everything in the span of one night.
yuta wished he was into tennis instead of football. he wished he wasnโt so bad at everything.
he wished he met you first rather than reno.
and he wondered who was the one crying as he stepped through the stadium doors to get to the parking lot, a chilly gust of wind brushing across his skin.
feet coming to a halt, his eyebrows furrowed and he picked his head up, looking around at the mass of cars and thinking he was going fucking crazy, failing to spot anyone at allโ but the quiet sniffling very much there.
who was still here at this hour?
a particular hiccup then made him realize that he was in fact not going crazy.
and that it was you.
he moved faster than he even realized, legs hasty and his heart in his throat, all reason and rationale for not talking to you and avoiding you flying out the fucking window as he rounded the corner of the building, hands rushing to stabilize himself on the brick wall upon doing so, chest rising and falling and cheeks flushedโ
to see you sitting on the ground against the wall, knees drawn to your chest as you hid your face in your arms and sobbed.
โyโ y/n?โ
you squeaked from where you sat and snapped your head up, your gaze locking with his and instantly wiping your cheeks upon realizing who it was, your heart internally breaking at you noticing how much darker the bags under his eyes were...
โoh fuck i'm sorryโโ
shaking his bag off him to land god knows where, he unzipped his jacket and he swiftly made his way over to you.
โare you okay?! how long have you been out here y/n it's freezingโโ
he kneeled and draped his jacket over your shoulders despite your weak protests.
โput it on.โ he ushered, placing the back of his hand against your cheek while helping in slipping your arms through his jacket. โput it on please youโre really coldโโ
a sob broke through you then, one that made him stop entirely, his eyes softening and shoulders slumping as he looked at you, properly for the first time in four weeksโ your expression completely broken hearted and torn to bits.
โwhat happened?โ he breathed out, pupils frantically scouring over your face as he cupped your cheeks, you taking him by surprise when you immediately placed your hands over his own and cemented them to you, gripping onto him.
oh god.
โshit donโt tell me itโs because of me y/n iโ i'm sorry for hurting you i'm so fucking sorryโโ
โitโs not you!โ you cried, drowning in your tears. โitโs nโ never youโโ
โthen what is it?โ he gently pushed, and his face fell when you shook your head no.
โwhy not?โ yuta tightened his hold on your cheeks just a bit. โplease y/n iโ fuck what happened with us that doesnโt matter at all right nowโโ
โiโm just stupid!โ you wept, your eyes glimmering with chunky tears. โeveryone was telling me toโ leave and i didnโt liโ listenโโ
โy/nโโ
โreno cheated on me!โ you finally admitted, weeping in his hands.
...
yuta's pupils constricted.
โhe what.โ
but you could only nod, sobbing and hiccuping and choking back as much of it as you could.
โi found out todayโโ yuta hurriedly wiped your teary droplets as you bawled. โinโ in the morningโโ
โthe morning?!โ he exclaimed.
meaning youโd been holding this in all freaking day?
โsomeโ girl messaged me on my socials a bunch of fucking screenshots andโ and pictures and videosโโ
โno y/n no...โ he painfully breathed out. โyou looked at all that?โ
you nodded, and yuta authentically felt like beating the shit out of him.
โfor how long.โ he demanded. โhow many times? just once?โ
you sobbed harder.
โthe entire time we were together!โ you wailed. โi donโt get what i didโ wrong iโ hic!โ i tried so fucking hard for us and put so much effortโโ
โwhy are you blaming yourself? it has nothing to do with you it's him!โโ
โbecause mโnot enough!โ you sobbed. โeverything i did and i still wasnโt enough i donโt know whatโs wrong with me!โ
โwhat?! nothing is wrong with youโโ your head hopelessly drooped and yuta lifted it to grab your gaze again. โplease youโre way more than enough i promise you y/n you were an absolute angel to that piece of shit moron and all he did was shit all over how sweet you are iโ fuck manโโ
he'd heard enough.
grabbing your arms, he placed them around his shoulders before wrapping his around your waist and hoisting the both of you up to your feet, snatching your wrist and walking.
โweโre leaving.โ
โhโ huh?โ you wiped your eyes with the sleeve of his sweater, trying your best to keep up with his fast legs. โyu where are we going?โโ
โweโre going to renoโs place, youโre gonna break up with him and then youโre gonna go wait in the car whileโโ
โwhat?! no!" you dug your heels into the pavement and pulled at your wrist to stop him. โweโre not doing that we donโt need to do that!โ
โy/n listen to meโโ yuta reached and gripped your shoulders as you cried, his eyes wild and desperate. โyou canโt stay with him after this please baby please!โโ
โweโve been broken up already!โโ
he halted.
been?
โbeen?โ he blinked in confusion. โwhaโ sinceโ since when?โ
you hiccupped and rubbed a fist into your eye.
โsince the day we fought...โ you sniffled. โi broke up with him that night...โ
that wasโ four fucking weeks ago.
yuta let out a stunned pant, his hands unsteady as he used one to cup underneath your chin and bring your crying face up, gaze fixed on you.
โi donโt get it iโโ he shook his head. โyou chose him that night youโ you stayed with him i thought thatโs what you wantedโโ
โno!โ you bawled. โthatโs not what i wantedโโ
โbut you saidโโ
โi want you!โ you cried.
yuta's heart stuttered.
there was no way in hell this was realโ yuta concurring that somehow he managed to fall asleep somewhere and now he was dreaming about something so fucking cruelโ
โplease say something...โ you whimpered with a hiccup, and yuta slowly lifted a thumb to caress over your chin.
โyou want me?โ he softly asked.
you immediately nodded.
there's no way there was just no wayโ
โiโm so sorry for hurting you.โ you sniffled. โit wasโ killing me so bad knowing that i hurt you and i canโt tell you how sโ sorry i am thatโs why i stayed awayโโ
โwhyโre you apologizing to me pretty girl...โ he murmured, using his unoccupied hand to gently brush the strands of your hair away from your face. โyou have nothing to be sorry for...โ
โno i do!โ you negated, voice cracking. โsince we met youโve been the sweetest boy ever andโ and all i did was go on and on about reno without thinking about how you mustโve feltโโ
โhow could you have known y/n there was no way.โ he laughed softly, using the hand under your chin to gently squish your cheeks together repeatedly. โnow youโre just being silly.โ
it had taken you long enough to realize that you were entirely and idiotically wrong. two years total to be exact. maybe even before that.
reno showed you that he supposedly loved you in flashy gestures and expensive gifts that had zero correlation to who you were as a person, he had buttered you up and sweet talked you, made you feel like you were it for him...
and all of these things conveniently happened in moments where he messed up and upset you, him so unbelievably good at manipulating and guilt tripping you that you remained blinded to it up until the moment you met yuta.
you genuinely didnโt know how in the ever living hell you were so fucking stupid.
reno never saw you for who you were, nor took the time to get to understand you, instead choosing to blame you for every misfortune that came your way or throw fits whenever you refused to allow him to get his way, him twisting the narrative every time into you being the issueโ blatantly taking advantage of your loyalty and forgiveness and morphing it into something that would let him get what he wanted.
it was exactly that that prohibited you from seeing yuta.
because you had, but your frenzied devotion to making your relationship work with reno completely blocked it off, putting you into an endless pit of denial that only further sucked you into the toxic cycle that you let a man enable for so long.
yuta okkotsu was the embodiment of what a good person was supposed to be like.
he was pure, incredibly considerate of those around him and respectful, always full of everything good and everything he did was just overwhelmingly sweet, unlike anything you had experienced before from a manโ one who was genuinely kindhearted in every aspect despite being pushed around by the industry he was involved in.
yuta saw right through you the minute he introduced himself to you on his first day on the team.
yuta knew you. he knew your likes and dislikes, the things that made you laugh or gag, the people you adored and the ones you couldnโt stand.
he knew you preferred silly photographs over the serious ones you had to take for work, he knew that you leaving behind your water bottle in his cubby at the end of the day was almost always a given.
he knew you loved cats. he knew you loved charms.
he knew you loved lilies.
and there wasnโt ever a moment where you had to explicitly tell him any of it. he just noticed and remembered. he made you feel seen without expecting anything in return.
he made you feel like you were worth someone to think about.
you really didnโt know when it was that you fell in love with yuta, and it was a very real possibility that it happened merely months into getting to know him, because it was yuta that unlocked a feeling within you that was entirely foreign and endearing and one you were afraid of letting in to make sense of, leaving you confused all of the time, too timid to abandon the false sense of conformity to address that it was yuta all along.
he was always the one and only choice for you.
maybe the reason why you pulled your weight so hard over everything with reno, wasnโt because you were trying to salvage the relationship... but because he just wasnโt yuta, you grasping at anything to force the puzzle pieces togetherโ reno being all that you knew and terrified of abandoning it even if it was hurting you, stuck on the familiar instead of accepting that it wasnโt good for you.
your loyalty was in the wrong hands and you fucking knew that. you knew all along and tried to fill your own needs with the wrong person, because the right one was a little too late to the raceโ leaving you to give your all to someone else.
ย and yuta loved you through it all anyway. without conditions.
โi donโt deserve you yu...โ you fought back a new wave of tears. โyou didnโt deserve me literally leading you on andโ upsetting you with everything that was going on with meโโ
his brows furrowed as you spoke, quickly shaking his head.
โbaby what are you talking about?โ he continued to wipe your newfound tears. โyou never lead me on... i chose to stay. i did that not you.โ
โand you shouldnโt have!โ you sobbed. โyou didnโtโ deserve to be in pain like thatโโ
โstop telling me what i deserve y/n...โ he breathed out a little squeaky laugh that made your stomach flutter. โiโm a grown man i can decide that for myself... okay?โ
you sniffled and hiccupped, and he gave you a tender smile in response.
โi hated being away from you.โ he whispered.
you'd never experienced your heart pounding as hard as it was until this moment.
โi hated being away from you...โ you replied, hands coming up to wrap your fingers around his wrists, caressing them.
โand i love you.โ
yuta felt his heart stop.
โmโsorry i didnโt tell you that night.โ
it was then that yuta okkotsu realized he hadnโt exhausted all of his luck just yet, for the privilege of having someone like you love him was a solid testament that he still had a teeny weeny bit of it leftโ along with hope.
and he was glad to officially use up all of his fortune on you.
โwhere do we go from here?โ he quietly asked. โwhatever you need is okay with me.โ
a gorgeous smile spread across your lips then, the first one heโd seen up close since the day you argued, and he flushed at the sight.
โi... i wanna try.โ you nervously bit your bottom lip, yutaโs gaze locked there. โi wanna try with us. but isโ is it okay if we go slow..?โ
he lit up then, having to internally swallow down the giddy scream that threatened to escape.
โof course pretty girl!โ yuta smiled wide, his thumb absentmindedly tracing over your bottom lip to gently untuck from your teeth. โwhatever you want.โ
your cheeks buzzed at a sudden thought.
โthereโs something else i want...โ you hummed. โif... thatโs fine?โ
curiosity spiked him and he instantly nodded.
โwhat baby?โ
your grip slightly tightened on his wrists, ever so slowly standing on your tippy toes to lean in closer.
โfor you to kiss me a little.โ you whispered, and yutaโs pupils dilated, dazed and loopy in all that was you as he brought his own lips closer.
the moment was awfully familiar to the one youโd had in the locker room, except lovelier and a bit frostyโ your cheeks cold and both your fingertips nearly going numb, your cloudy puffed breaths visible in the air as they fanned across your faces, slight heat tickling your mouths.
โtell me you love me and i will.โ
you giggled.
โi love you, yu. very much.โ
your noses brushed against each otherโs as well as your mouths, yuta briefly biting on his bottom lip before releasing it, intoxicated by the fact that your soft plushy lips were right there for him.
he hummed.
โthat so..?โ
you knees nearly buckled.
โuh huh.โ
โhow lucky am i...โ
and he engulfed your mouth then, lips softly smacking as they wrapped around each other, slotting perfectly and yuta just about whimpering by how soft your lips wereโ craddling your face in his hands as he moved and deepened the kiss, savoring it all and engraving it in his mind to remember for as long as he lived.
the flutters in your stomach went on overdrive with every shift of your mouths, the two of you literally having to pull apart for a millisecond to catch your breaths before you swallowed one another back in, your hands sliding up around his neck and his down to envelop around your torso and pull you in, kissing again and againโ completely lost in what it was to finally be together.
the right way.
whether yuta stayed with his team or got traded really didnโt matter to him in retrospect, because he felt he had everything he needed already... experienced everything that he needed to experience, feeling that he played the best that he could and worked just as hard through it all to keep himself afloat. he was satisfied with it.
because through his football blood, sweat, and tears... it earned him you.
it earned him peace.
and that was all he needed.
โcan you do a peace signโ yes! awww how handsomeee!โโ
yuta boyishly laughed as he stood in the middle of the tunnel with you and posed, surrounded by buttloads of staff and media personnel and anything else of the like, him and his teammates gathered upโ awaiting for their usual signal that it was time to run out on the field and commence the game with the starting kickoff.
your camera clicked as you snapped a couple of photographs, a series of bright flashes going off, the sight of yuta so compliant and grinning widely for you, the absolute glee on his face and the crinkles by his eyes... all worked in turning you into literal doughy putty.
โyou look so cute yu!โ you cheesed, lowering your camera and flicking through the photos you just took, a pink hue to your cheeks. โyou look so happy in theseee!โ
his own cheeks warmed and he diverted his gaze, wringing his hands behind his back and leaning up against the wall, fighting with himself to not reach out and grab you for the sake of keeping what the two of you had going on in private, to respect you.
but it was as if you read his mind anyway... because you giggled and stepped closer to him, putting down your camera and adjusting the strap so the device would lay by your hip, lifting your arms to loop around his torso and propping your chin up on his toned chest, his eyes snapping to yours then before breaking out into the biggest smile.
it was still so surreal to him more often than not that you actually loved him... that he got you in the end and that you were hugging him... or holding his hand... giving him sweet cheek kisses any time youโd pass by him in the halls or when he just got off the field from training, all that made him freeze and laugh like an idiot in front of you as he tried to get his head straight from it.
yuta was oddly more bashful and nervous around you than before, because now he knew that the feeling was mutual, that it had been, that he could do all of the things heโd craved doing with youโ without the hundred pounds of guilt he carried on his shoulders because your heart was trapped elsewhere.
he was happy because you were happy. and healthy. and free from the torment that you mistook for love.
โwhat yu?โ you gently spoke up, and he untucked his arms to wrap them around your head and pull you in closer. โyou okay? you nervous?โ
โi am.โ he shyly cheesed, craning his neck to plant a kiss to your forehead. โbut it's okay! i donโt care about what happens from here.โ
you pouted and whined. โbut i do! don't say that silly boy...โ
it had been a couple of months since you and yuta reunited, agreeing to take things slow, no titles just yet, and go at a pace that was comfortable for the both of you, loving every moment of it as you went to ample farmerโs markets to look at pretty flowers or munch on some more sweet fruit, yuta taking you out on coffee dates or planning movie nights at his apartment with bratty rika, or even beach picnicsโ those being particularly your favorite as you sat along the warm sand and soaked in the heat of the sun, grubbing on the food you brought before deciding to dip your feet in the chilly water for a little while.
though yuta often had to mentally and physically prepare himself every time you went on beach dates, for the sight of you in a fucking bikini was one he had to tear his eyes away from and literally avoid looking at you just to keep the dent in his pants not dented.
it never worked.
but throughout these said months... yuta also played better.
he was still teetering along the lines of being the worst player and a god awful player, but he no longer fumbled the ball whenever he accepted passes from a quarterback, or misinterpreted signals and ran the wrong direction, or accidentally gave a defender from the opposing team the perfect opportunity to score a touchdown.
perhaps the football gods didnโt want to let go of him yet, for reasons he could not understand whatsoever.
because he was sharper. quicker on his feet. more purposeful in his play that was noticeable to the rest of his teammatesโ his coach and managerโ yutaโs player stats slowly rising little by little, contributing to his team moving along the path to the superbowl game after game, time and time again...
until his teamโs jagged road through playoffs landed them in the divisional round, which they miraculously won, him and his teammates now placed in the conference championships that dictated who was qualifying for the literal superbowl.
how it happened yuta genuinely didnโt know. he hadnโt been focused on that at all, and instead on what kind of pastry he should pick up for you to give you in the morning at the stadium, or if you were hungry after work and wanted to come eat dinner with him at the small diner down the street.
but if his team managed to pull through and win... yuta would get to stay.
โwhy baby?โ he giggled squeakily, finding the genuine anxiety and frustration on your pretty face amusing.
โbecause you deserve more than anyone on this team to stay yuta...โ you softly emphasized, and his lips flipped into a loving smile. โyouโve been working so hard... i donโt want you to settle for a different irrelevant team when youโre supposed to be on this one. with me.โ
with you.
he tilted his head then, dipping his neck down once more to ever so gently graze his nose against yours, the echoey rowdy chatter and hollering of the hasty crowd around you both subduing to indistinctness, until all that was left was you and him and the pinks on your cheeks.
โyou think so?โ he murmured, and you sent him a warm closed lipped smile.
โi know so.โ you replied, giving him a slight nudge to his nose yourself. โi promise you.โ
he grinned.
โmake them feel stupid?โ
and you vigorously nodded, lips coming up to capture his in a cutey kiss that nearly made him black out, tightening his hold around your head and smothering you in even closer, your bodies completely flushed against each other.
you were so soft...
โiโm assuming you did more than make amends?โ
your eyes snapped open and you separated your mouths with a little smack!, yutaโs arms sliding down to settle around your waist as you turned in his hold.
you beamed.
โnanami! how are you?! oh! come find me after the game i need to get shots of you fresh off the field and sweaty i got multiple emails fromโโ
yuta burst out laughing and nanami flushed up beet red, physically unable to compute what heโd just heard, his mouth opening and closing as he stared at the both of you and tried to regain his composure.
โiโ who is sending you theseโโ
โyour fangirlies! i told you.โ you smiled sweetly, leaning back against yutaโs pad cladded chest. โthereโs never a day that goes by that i donโt get requests for a swimsuit calendar i'm telling you they need your beefed arms outโโ
โiโm going back to the original subject.โ he muttered, and you and yuta slipped into a fit of little snickers and giggles, hunching over and having to clutch onto each other to keep yourselves balanced.
he smiled.
โiโm glad to see you two are doing well.โ nanami continued, and your eyes softened at the tiny content quirk of his lips, a gentle one of your own spreading across your face as you listened. โi was starting to believe i had to intervene.โ
you laughed some more and shook your head, stepping out of yutaโs grasp to walk up to nanami, swinging an arm up over his neck to bring him in a friendly hug.
โno kento it's okay weโre okay.โ you pulled away and patted his shoulder. โbut thank you for worrying anyway... and for being so kind to yuta.โ
he chuckled under his breath, giving you a singular nod as you walked back to yutaโs side.
โbeing a few steps behind everyone else is not a sin.โ nanami spoke evenly, his gaze switching over to yuta. โthe accumulation of everything you endured has built you to be the player you are now. rest assured that your path will match mine and only get easier from here.โ
yuta was touched by his words, though he knew that deep down he could never amount to the level of skill that nanami harbored, the very same play that set him to be in the hall of fame upon retirement, the blonde haired man being the sole backbone of the team that left many worried as to how it would survive once he was gone.
how yuta would. his only teammate to look at him in the eyes and see no difference between him and a good player.
โthanks nanami!โ yuta brightly grinned, his hand finding yours and intertwining your fingers. โi appreciate it... really i do.โ
โtwo minutes โtil kickoff! cheerleaders are wrapping up their set!โ
nanami slid on his helmet and pulled the chin strap under his chin.
โiโll see you both out there on the field, yes?โ he snapped his buckles in place, securing the helmet to his head. โbe sure not to be the last one to line up okkotsu. you have generous time with miss y/l/n now no need to worry anymoโโ
โahaha!โ he blurted, his neck abruptly growing hot and the hold on your hand tightening. โahaha iโ i wonโt heh! i'll be there in a second!โ
and with one last nod nanami left, the two of you watching his broad frame slip through the hectic crowd until he was no longer in your line of sight.
you turned to yuta and flashed him a pretty smile, bending down to pick his helmet up off the floor and holding it in your hands.
โyou ready yu?โ standing on your tippy toes, yuta bent his neck for you and you slipped it on over his head, readjusting the strap so itโd fit snugโ clicking the buckle secure.
โmhm!โ he smiled, his hands coming to rest on your waist as you slid your palms down over his jersey, dusting it off and tugging any visible wrinkles out. โas much as i can be.โ
you huffed softly through your nose and reached to loop your fingers through the bars of his helmet, gently bringing him to look at you straight on.
โjust play my love... okay?โ you tilted your head, yutaโs eyes taking a moment to scour over your gorgeous features as you spoke. โjust play thatโs all you need to do. you've done more than enough already.โ
and he grinned then, tenderly as he squeezed your hips and touched his helmet with your forehead, resting it there.
โi will pretty girl, donโt worry for me.โ he murmured.
he'd play for you.
and whether yuta got to stay or not it still didnโt matter to him.
but itโd be nice to keep seeing you in the bright early hours of the morning at the stadium...
wouldnโt it?
โwow ladies and gentlemen! it's been one tough and close game for both teamโs just up until the last quarter, the scoreboard reads twenty eight to thirty one with the hawks taking the leadโ jesus i can hardly stay seated!โ
โyouโre damn right! the heartliners have been making uncanny progress through this entire season going through the playoffs, and now they're being carried by an unlikely sourceโ yuta okkotsu himself! can you believe it?!โ
you gnawed on your nails as your eyes stayed glued the field with a hand on your hip, fingers anxiously tapping on your radio as you listened to the idiot commentators that for once werenโt pissing you off too badly.
yuta was playing like a fucking machine.
and you hadnโt seen him play this way before, with his gaze sharp and sort of feral like as he listened to orders or made calls himself, his chest heaving and his legs moving so unbelievably fast any chance he had the ball and tried to get it to the end zone, an aura ofโ authority to him that was entirely new to you and absolutely lovely to see firsthand.
because yuta never received the support and guidance that he should have to flourish and be the player his management kept getting on his ass to be.
but he did all of that on his own. without needing the favor or connections of anyone to do so.
and you were so incredibly proud of him andโ and in awe of him that words genuinely couldnโt describe how you were feeling in that moment as you watched him play, your nerves on fucking acid and your hands literally trembling due to the fact that there was actually a chance yuta might get to stay, that heโd get to prove himself to everyone that stupidly refused to see what you had seen the second you met him.
potential.
it was the last quarter... getting down to the last final minutes... all they needed was a touchdown and yuta would get toโ
โy/n?โ
you froze, and you felt the blood completely drain from your face.
absolutely fucking notโ
โi umโโ
against your will you turned around, reno standing there with a massive expensive looking bouquet of flowers in his grasp, staring at you with guilty saddened eyes that did everything but make you feel bad for him.
โi came to say that i'm really, really fucking sorry about everythingโโ
your gaze dropped down to the flowers.
they were roses.
โโyou deserved way more than what i gave and did to you and... you were always so good to me babe i'mโ i'm sorry.โ
your eyes moved back up, raising a brow.
โhow did you get on the field? you need a badge for that.โ
reno fidgeted from where he stood.
โi have a buddy that works for the media.โ he explained. โi asked him for a favor.โ
you remained silent.
โbabe you have no idea how sorry i am...โ he heavily sighed and took a step closer to you. โiโm serious i... i miss you like crazy and i was just so stupid... i shouldnโt have treated you the way that i did.โ
โreno i really donโt have time for this right nowโโ
โโno please y/n please just hear me outโโ
yuta was drained.
he didnโt even know what quarter they were in, or what the actual score was, his lungs literally burning with every inhale he sucked in to regulate his breathing, limbs aching so badly from being tackled to the ground so many times and doing the tackling so many times, his brain moving nonstop from the minute he kissed your cheek goodbye and stepped onto the field.
he was just going. and killing himself in doing so all in the hopes of contributing a tiny bit to his team and get to the superbowl, to make up for all of his previous fuck ups, to stay with you.
โokkotsu!โ
yuta whipped his head around to see itsuki jogging up to him.
โare you still a shitty player?โ he breathed out, sweat dripping from the sides of his face as he got to him.
yuta gave him a look.
โdude weโre in the middle of a gameโโ
โare you a still shitty player okkotsu.โ he panted. โbecause i'm about to call a huddle, and i'm gonna explain to the rest of the boys that i'm passing you the ball to score us a touchdown and end the game.โ
yuta's eyes flew open, head snapping to the scoreboard and realizing then that it was the last fucking quarter, that the opposing team was winning and they were minutes from losing unless someone made a score in the end zoneโ
holy shit holy shitโ
โgive the ball to rei.โ yuta hurriedly spoke over the cheering crowd, his tone firm. โhe has way more experience than i do and i canโt promise youโโ
itsuki shook his head. โyouโre faster than him. i need you to run straight down the sideline and beat your defender guy.โ
itsuki took a step closer, holding his gaze.
โbeat your guy and i throw you the ball. and you get to stay. with y/n. deal?โ
yuta felt a pang of shock ricochet through his chest at his words, the fact that itsuki was actually not being a nuisance for once andโ fairly solid, was an odd thing for him to see.
but his brows furrowed.
โhow do you know about y/n and iโโ
โwhen thereโs a hot girl i watch.โ itsuki shrugged. โsheโs a hard one to miss. thatโs why the two of you make no fuckinโ sense at all i meanโ yes your stats are better for whatever reason but i would assume sheโd be interested in a guy like meโโ
there he was.
yuta rolled his eyes and drifted his gaze away in annoyance, letting him continue yapping his ear off about utter nonsense that he drowned out for the sake of keeping himself level-headed, his line of sight tracking over the packed stadiumโ flashing lights and thunderous hollering, the cheerleaders dancing on the sidelines, and you.
standing face to face with reno.
his face and heart dropped, shoulders slumping as he watched reno extend an absurd bouquet of roses to you... and you reaching out to accept them.
please no.
there was... you wouldnโt. right?
you... you loved him you said you loved him youโ
you said you were done with reno that there was absolutely nothing for him to worry about that youโ that you wanted to take it slow no titles thatโ why were you accepting his fucking rosesโ
you then whirled the bouquet up and smacked renoโs body with it, over and over left and right you were beating the shit out of himโ deep red petals flying in every direction as reno cowered and hunched, flailing his arms out in defense.
oh thank fuckโ
and yuta felt a heavenly wave of relief, immediately perking up and the frown on his face breaking out into the widest grin, giggling and snickering as he watched you confront reno in the way that you were.
โyโ y/n!โโ
โyou think roses are gonna make me drop to my knees and suck you off?! you complete dumbass?!โ
you wacked him once more.
โokay! i'm sorry i'm sorry!โ he exclaimed. โiโ i know babe i know i'm the biggest douchebagโโ
โyou cheated on me reno! our whole freaking relationship you were getting your dick wet behind my back do you really think i would ever want to get back with you?!โ you yelled, your blood boiling hot and chest pumping from the adrenaline and hatred you had. โwhat kind of fucking woman do you think i am?!โ
โthe greatest one i ever hadโโ
you reeled your arm back and smacked him again, the bouquet merely made of stems now as he whined and cowered again, your eyes briefly catching your sweet cheerleader friend from behind renoโ laughing her ass off, doubling over in choking gasps, pointing and nearly falling to her knees.
you wouldโve burst out laughing yourself if reno hadnโt opened his fat mouth again.
โy/n please. i am begging you.โ he reached for your hand and you snatched it away. โplease babe youโre right i'mโ i'm awful i'm god awful butโโ
โyou're more than god awful.โ you spat. โand stop calling me babe itโs gross.โ
โy/nโโ
โget off the field before i hit you again.โ you muttered, spinning around and walking over to the nearest trash bin, chucking the stems inside. โweโre done reno. don't ever try to talk to me again i'm being serious.โ
โy/nโโ
โget off the field reno!โ
โbabeโโ
โSECURITY!โ
โNO!โโ
upon breaking the huddle, there were thirty seconds left on the clock as yutaโs team jogged to their positions for a line of scrimmage, the lot of them face to face with the opponent as itsuki stood behind them by the center, crouched over and awaiting to make the call.
the crowd grew louder.
โset!...โ
yuta readjusted his footing, his heart fucking pounding and the blood rushing to his ears as he waited, breathing rapidly through his nostrils as he begged and prayed that heโd just do what itsuki asked him to do.
because he had no choice but to do it. there was no other way around it if he wanted to prove his worth and make his suffering worthwhile.
if he wanted to keep spending his days watching you take photographs from the sidelines...
โhut!โ
fuck it.
the crowd screeched and yuta made a run for it down the line as the huddle dispersed, his legs moving astronomically quick, feet trudging along the grass with no intention of stopping, him briefly checking over his shoulder to confirm that the ball had successfully been passed to itsuki before returning ahead.
it had!
and yutaโs eyes widened upon realizing that the path was actively clearing up for itsuki to pass him the ball.
he picked up speed and barreled down to the endzone, hyperactively keeping track of his defender opponent running parallel to him to try and take him out and run a touchdown himself, watching him out of the corner of his eye, getting closerโ
โokkotsu the ball!โโ
when yuta shoved his shoulder to the left and knocked the defender clean off balance, refusing to give himself time to think about anything as he swiveled around and jumped for the spinning ball, catching it in his hands before landing on his two feet.
booking it to the end zone.
โwhat a play from heartliners very own itsuki and yuta! christ! what kind of game is this?!โ
โthe kind that proves even the worst players have something to give my friend! because the heartliners may have just earned a spot in the superbowl all thanks to okkotsu and his timingโโ
โgo yu go!โ you yelled from the sidelines, jumping up and down while simultaneously taking an insane number of photographs, your heart in your throat and tears tickling your eyes at the incredible play you just witnessed by him, your emotions so overwhelming that you could hardly even properly do your job and take the damn pictures.
you were so so so proud!
the crowd grew even louder, beer droplets flying everywhere and fans from yutaโs team begging him to keep running, to ignore whatever the fuck the other team was trying to throw at him to get him to trip upโ ย everyone at the edge of their seats and your hands in your hairโ
when yuta threw himself to the endzone and landed, scoring an official touchdown and marking the end of the game.
marking his place back on the team.
you screamed and hollered and cried as confetti cannons burst and celebratory horns blared through the atmosphere, the cheerleaders screaming and hollering themselves because they get a chance to dance at the superbowl, and you finally getting to see yuta be appreciated by the football industry and community like youโd wished for all along.
they'd finally listen. and see that yuta okkotsu was a force to be reckoned with.
you got back into photographer mode and clicked awayโ taking pictures of practically everything and anything, the fans, the team, the scoreboard, though taking extra time and effort to photograph yuta in particular being rightfully celebrated by his teammates, them surrounding him in tackling hugs and pats on the back that made you giggle.
but after a few moments, you saw yuta break through the crowd through your camera lens.
and was jogging his way straight to you.
your eyes blew out and you popped your head up, putting your camera down and readjusting the strap.
why was he..?
you watched as he jogged faster then across the field, unclipping his helmet before yanking it off and throwing it somewhere on the grass, you standing there totally confused with your tummy fluttering the closer he got to you.
โyu!โ you called once he was of earshot, though he didnโt stop and continued, him on the brink of standing in front of you when you spoke again.
โyuโ hey whatโs going on why aren't you outโ EEEEEKK!โโ
yuta grabbed you by the back of your thighs and hoisted you up around his waist, smashing his lips to yours and muffling the rest of your words as he proceeded to speed walk through the sidelines, down the long tunnel and down another hallway until he got to the utility closet, all while smothering you with his mouth.
โyu baby!โ mmpf!โโ
he kicked the utility door open and shut it with his foot, shuffling through some more to get to the table in the back used for storing padding equipment, dropping you down on it and you letting out a squeak in replyโ his lips not once breaking from yours.
your heart bounced around as you gently pushed on his chest and tried to get your words out.
โyuโโ
โi donโt wanna wait anymore.โ he breathed in between kisses, his hands clutching and kneading at the meat on your thighs. โiโve waited two years i donโt want to.โ
your tummy flipped at his words, losing yourself in his desperate kisses as he continued.
โmโso sorry butโ i canโt take it slow anymoreโโ his swollen wet lips slid down to the space under your jaw and you gasped. โi love you and i want youโ shitโ so fucking much please pretty girl be mine pleaseโโ
you frantically nodded, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his wet tongue lapping up your neck, your arms around his head that pulled him in even closer, his own hands doing the same thing and rolling his hips up to meet the ache in between your legs.
โyes yes i will yuโโ
โyou mean it..?โ he hotly spoke against your neck, moving his sloppy sucking over to the other side of your jaw and grinding. โyouโll be mine baby..?โ
โuhโ uhuh! i do i swear to youโโ
yuta felt like he was on a cloud that was bigger and better than cloud nine, him literally swallowing you up as you shot a hand on his shoulder to keep you balanced, the other clutching his jersey as you rutted your little cute hips in rhythm with his, a feral delighted smile slowly curving his lips that you felt against your skin.
he finally had you.
"you gonna let me do what i want with you now..?"
jesus his words were making you lose it.
"mhmโ pant!โ aโ anything you wantโ"
yuta's hands slid down to your torso, squeezing and rubbing at your sides while he sucked your neck before they trailed even further down, a palm settling on your waist and the other slithering its way in the space between your legs.
"make some room for me pretty girl..." he murmured, and you listenedโ parting your legs and him immediately sliding his hand to your clothed pussy, working you there and applying pressure that made you choke on a gasp and shudder, bucking your hips up.
he brought his head back up to level with you, his lips grazing yours as he spoke.
"this okay?" he whispered. "you like it?"
you gave him a ditzy nod that he loved, moving to hook a finger under the waistband of your jeans and slightly tugging.
"you wanna loosen these up so i can play with your pretty pussy for a little?" yuta hummed, and you just about collapsed, a loopy little smirk curling his lips. "just enough so i can feel you baby? you'd let me?"
you didn't even give him a response, you were incapable with how desperate you were for him to touch you and do whatever the fuck he wanted with you, you basically hypnotized as your hands went down to unbutton your jeans, popping it open and yuta licking his lips at the little peek he was getting of the waistband of your lacy panties while you tugged your jeans down a tad.
"goood babyโ"
he helped you the rest of the way and stopped just at the top of your pillowy thighs, his blood rushing everywhere as he proceeded to impatiently slip his hand in your pantiesโ you squeaking and flailing your hands out flat behind you on the desk.
dear god the amount of times yuta had fisted his cock to the thought of this exact scenario...
"you're so warm." he murmured, his greedy little fingers feeling you up and slotting in between your pussy lips, you already so fucking wet and squelchy, heat rising to your face at how loud you sounded as he played with you, fingers brushing your sensitive clit.
you were so embarrassed...
you gnawed on your bottom lip and shyly peered up at him with rosy cheeks, a hand coming up to cup your mouth as you whined.
"m'sโ sorry..."
he breathily chuckled, finding you oh so incredibly cute as you hiccuped and whimpered with every dragging rub of his fingers, drunk off of how much of your juices were coating his hand, your hips chasing after his every move.
"for what baby..?" yuta placed his unoccupied hand on the desk before lunging forward, his puffy chest gently colliding with your front and pulling you down flat on your back with no other option, a high pitched gasp! slipping from your throat as you looked up at him.
"for this?"
he plunged his index and middle finger inside your leaky little hole, you letting out a surprised moan that made you slap a hand over your mouth to shush yourself up, your face fucking burning now.
"you're so silly." he laughed, giving you no time at all to adjust to his long fingers as he pumped them in and out of you and shoved his face back into your neck, planting his mouth in the space just below your ear to slobber, you turning your head the other way with a slack jaw and heaving chest. "if anything i need you louderโ"
you were quite literally trapped underneath him... and you were fucking obsessedโ in a state of fuzzy euphoria as he continued to finger you in such a way that pulled more obscene sloshing noises from your pussy, you whining and helplessly lifting your hips at how fast he was going.
yuta almost dug his nails into the wooden desk as he supported himself.
he can't cum in his pants he can't cum in his pantsโ
โbut shit you were being so agonizingly beautiful in this moment as he movedโ rapid and desperate, needing you to make a mess on his hand while he curled his fingers inside of you, hitting that spongy spot that had you mewling louder, squealing and arching your back off the table.
"you felt that baby?" he lapped and sucked at different parts of your neck, drool trickling down your skinโ the desk rattling with his jerking arm and you jolting underneath him by the force, him getting a perfect view from the corner of his eye of your tits deliciously bouncing from your low cut top.
"god your pussy's swallowing my fingers i can't even pull them out." he huffed. "such a pretty greedy girl..."
"mmm yuuu!โ"
your hand shot to his wrist and gripped it, though that did nothing in halting his jack hammering movements.
"what... you trying to stop me now?" he lifted his head to catch your fucked out gaze. "you bad little fucking thing..."
your mind was going through a whirlpool, having difficulty processing how a sweetie boy could speak so filthily to you and scold you in the way that he was.
"'cause i could." he hotly continued. "'i'll give you what you want and stop right nowโ"
"no!โ"
you pulled both your hands up and away from his work, your shiny glazed eyes staring up at him, pleading.
"please no yu i'mโ m'gonna cum!โ"
"yeah?" yuta wildly grinned. "but i dunno if you deserve it baby... you broke my heart trying to pull my fingers outโ"
you sniffled and frantically shook your head side to side in a panic. "no please! i'm sorry yu i'm so so sorry please i needโ i didn't mean to!"
"mmm..." he pondered, and that only made you more desperate, quickly cupping his cheeks and bringing his face down to mush your lips against his, your kisses fast and sloppy as you tried your best to tongue him down through his fingering.
"pleaseโ mmpfโ please babyโ"
yuta's knees almost gave out, letting you ravish him and slop your tongue all over his mouth for a few moments before he slightly pulled back, panting against your lips and feeling how tight you were clenching on his fingers.
"good thing i can never stay mad at you."
and you fucking came, a white hot flash flooding through your body as your limbs locked up, moaning and chokingโ your thighs clamping around his hand while trying to keep your high pitched squeals to a minimum, not knowing when or how long it was until you seemingly came back down from the cloud you were riding on.
you laid there, both of your chests pumping and breaths misty, your brain trying to rewire itself back into place through the numb fuck you just went through, yuta peppering tiny little kisses along your jaw that aided in pulling you back to him.
when he suddenly detached from your skin and dipped down between your legsโ
โwโ wait! yu!โโ
โmm?โ he hummed, coming back up with a happy loopy smile on his face, only to lip lock with you again.
yuta could not get enough.
โyou shouldโโ you panted. โโbe out there celebrating my love iโโ
โi donโt give a fuck.โ
you laughed against his mouth and forced a bit of separation, both of your chests rising and falling as you looked at each otherโ lips plumped red and cheeks flushed.
โwhy not?โ you pouted, sliding a hand through his slightly sweaty raven locks, softly caressing. โyou deserve to have them see and appreciate you yu and all your hard work. let them please...โ
he gave you a loving tender smile then, his twinkling eyes boring into yours as he squeezed your thighs a little.
โyouโve done that this entire time.โ he murmured, nudging his nose with yours. โthatโs all i ever needed.โ
you shyly blushed and rested your forehead against his, the both of you slipping into a fit of lovesick giggles then as you held onto each other, completely wrapped in a warm fuzzy atmosphere that consisted of no one else but of just you and him.
together.
the strings on your pinkies finally untangled and thicker.
yuta spent the majority of his life not knowing how he ended up playing football in the first place. it was something that he simply just couldnโt remember.
but the reasoning became abundantly clear to him as the days passed.
when he met you. when he befriended you through pathetic stutters and fumbles.
when he realized heโd fallen in love with you.
when he went to the grocery store during his thirty minute break to buy you a bouquet of lilies, standing there in line while he received odd looks from other customers because he was bulked up in his uniform, doing it all with absolutely no requirements because he adored you. so fucking much.
when you saw him through a lens that was entirely your own despite everyone else telling you not to.
and that's exactly the reason why life had pulled and insisted and nagged for him to keep playing football even through his embarrassing failing trials and tribulations.
why it had made him the luckiest boy alive.
so heโd cross paths with you, even if it was at the price of being the worst player on his national football league team.
Summary: You flee your wedding and reunite with your childhood friend, Okkotsu Yuuta, who was only expecting to spend an ordinary afternoon at a cafรฉ with his friends.
Content Warnings: childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, second chance, hurt/comfort, slow burn, consensual sex, oral sex (f!receiving), fingering, light jealousy, mentions of past relationships, class divide, toxic family dynamics, soft Yuuta, nobamaki if you squint, unedited
Author's Notes: inspired by the first episode of Friends. this got way longer than i expected (8kโฆ oops). anyway iโm going to sleep now, enjoy!
Word Count: 8.2k words
When Yuuta walked into the cafรฉ today, he expected a normal day.ย
He expected Panda sprawled on the usual drab couch, manspreading in a kind of theatrical entitlement that would have left Toge squeezed into the corner of the couch, who would then murmur odd syllables of amusement once Maki began her exasperated scolding.ย
And right on cue, he had walked into an argument already mid-swing.
โThereโs nothing to tell,โ Maki snapped, though Yuuta doesnโt miss the faintest colour traced on her cheekbones as he reaches his usual seat โ a distinctly red single couch, its fabric dulled and rubbed threadbare from years of bodies slouching into it. โSheโs just some underling at work. She gawks at me all the time โ it doesnโt mean anything.โ
Panda grinned in response. โCโmon,โ he chuckled. โYouโre going out with a woman. A real-life-size woman. Isnโt that something?โ
Maki rolled her eyes as Toge gave a quiet syllable of agreement, his eyes brighter than ever.ย
This was a routine. This was ordinary. He had never once imagined that such a place of ordinary rituals could tilt itself into something more fantastical and ceremonial. But it did.ย
The door of the cafe opened with the regular chime sound, and he remembers it all too clearlyโ at first, he heard the hiss of rain, then he smelt the damp wet stones. Yuutaโs eyes looked up lazily, expecting another student, another office worker, someone here for cheap coffee and shelter from the drizzle. Instead, he saw you. A woman โ no, not just any woman, but a bride.ย
The cafรฉ had stilled in that moment. Even the old espresso machine, which was usually hissing and wheezing about, seemed to fall silent.ย
Pandaโs hand froze mid-air, halfway to his muffin. Togeโs mutter died on his tongue. Even Maki had lifted her gaze, holding an expression that was dangerously close to surprise. Because it is not every day a bride walks into this cafรฉ.ย
Your eyes dart across the room โ frantic, urgent, desperate to find someone, and itโs only when your eyes find him that he realises โ itโs him. You were searching for him.ย
At that realisation, he lurched up to stand at once. It was a little too clumsy, too sudden, as though his seat had grown immediately hot.
He thought he should speak, ask something rational, like what are you doing here? Or say something gentle, like asking if you were okay, but his tongue felt thick and lumpy in his mouth, sodden just as the dirty hem of your white dress.ย
So when you began to speak, he almost sighed with relief.
โYuuta,โ you said, his name softened between your lips, and your whole face seemed to ease.
โOh, itโs soโฆ Iโm so happy youโre here. I didnโt know where else to go. I justโ I left. I left him, Yuuta. I was standing there, staring at the aisle, at him, at all of it. The expensive flowers. The expensive carpet. The expensive champagne, and suddenly it was like I couldnโt breathe. I couldnโt breathe. I couldnโt do it. So I ran. I justโ I ran.โ
Yuuta isnโt sure what he can say to that.
Itโs loaded, so he doesnโt know where to start asking questions. He simply stares at you. And then turns back to see his seated friends, as though one of them will ground him away from this dream that he seems to have slipped into. Because it is a dream, right?
But when Panda only gave a low whistle in response, it was the kind that seared the reality of the situation into his brain.
โNow this,โ Panda had said, leaning back, โis better than Love Island, my friends.โ
He knows now that this is real. And youโve apparently left a wedding. You had agreed, once, to marry someone else, and then you hadnโt. This is an afterthought he tries to suppress, given everything else thatโs staring him stark in the face. But he does think it, even if it were only for a moment.
Maki crossed her arms then, watching you closely. โYouโre dripping mud all over the floor,โ she comments, but her voice doesnโt come out with any sort of sting, but rather as an observation.
You looked flustered, but ignored the comment as you took Yuutaโs hands, clutching them with a desperation that made his heart stumble out of his chest.
You were cold to touch, and he wonders if he should give you his jacket.
โI donโt want to be who I was,โ you confessed now softly. โI was this girl who lived in a bubble. I looked at him, Yuuta, and I thoughtโ this isnโt it. This isnโt my life. This isnโt me at all. And all I could think wasโฆ I needed to find a friend. A friend who knows me.โ
Itโs out of place to hear this confession from a person he hadnโt seen in years now, but everything about this situation was out of place.
You belonged at the end of an aisle, and he belonged here.
You were meant for cathedrals and champagne halls, and he was meant for a chipped mug of coffee and a menial job. Yet, you were here holding his hand.ย
It was all out of place.ย
โ
The group, to Yuuta's surprise, was astonishingly well-composed in the wake of your situation.
Toge and Panda had gone to the counter to get you something warm. Maki, whose name, you would only learn later, had wordlessly stripped a navy shawl from her own shoulders and flung it across yours in a gesture that was brusque.
And then there was Yuuta.
Yuuta was crouched before you, perched on the low table opposite. His body was tilted forward as he stared intensely at you. You didnโt blame him, though the intensity of his stare, mingled with the realisations of what you had just done โ of the words you had mumbled to him, of the man you had abandoned, of the people whose names would be lighting up your screen, of the entire state of your life โ all of which had suddenly all come boiling to the surface.ย
And sitting there, clutching the borrowed shawl tight around your shoulders, you felt the shame and embarrassment rise sharply in your throat.
โAre you okay?โ Yuuta tried, the words falling clumsily from his mouth.
And immediately he realised how stupid that sounded. Are you okay? What a ridiculous and pathetic question. Of course, you werenโt okay. People who were okay didnโt abandon weddings midway through. People who were okay didnโt search, wild-eyed, for the face of a boy they hadnโt seen in almost half a decade. People who did this were โ undeniably, certifiably โ not okay.
He glanced sideways at Maki, who was already looking at him like he was the dumbest man alive.
He gulped. He wanted, very sincerely, to punch himself in the face.
โI just feel like someone has reached down my throat, and has grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck.โ
The description was grotesque, or even dramatic and childish, but it was the truth of your body.
โIf you get me,โ you attempted to add, your voice dropping to a meek, apologetic murmur.
And at that, Yuuta really wanted to punch himself in the face. He should be saying something, anything to distract you from your situation โ to make your world lighter, but where could he begin? He knew nothing anymore. Not about you, not about the person you had become, not about the life you had just abandoned.
โI am glad to see you, though,โ you added softly. โItโs strange. I havenโt seen you in years, but youโre my only true friend Iโve had in such a long time.โ
โA friend who wasnโt even invited to the wedding,โ Maki remarked. Her voice was sharp, but the remark itself was plain. It didnโt feel accusatory, but more so โ observational.ย
โMaki,โ Yuuta protested, however, as his chest was tightening.
โWe did drift apart,โ you admitted, eyes not leaving his. โBut you would always be my friend, Yuuta. You know that, donโt you?โ
He could swear your eyes twinkled just then.
โ
You sat with both hands curled around the hot chocolate. The porcelain of the cup radiated a simple and welcoming warmth that you clung to, sip after sip, while they all stared at you. There are questions simmering beneath their tongues, you can feel it, but the warmth of the cup around your palms, the warmth of the drink down your throat left you a bit listless, and comforted โ that you didnโt mind. You simply sipped on the drink as they watched you like some exotic creature they were meant to study.
You look up now, at the group, and then at Yuuta.
โCan I borrow your phone?โ you asked, quietly but firmly too. โI need to call my father.โ
Yuuta startled, cleared his throat, already reaching for his pocket. โRight. Yeah. Of course.โ
You handed him the empty cup, the porcelain had tints of red from your lipstick, and he exchanged it for his phone. You stood up and drifted to the far side of the cafรฉ, for privacy, he assumes.ย
โWho is she?โ Panda asked first, his voice sly, delighted by the scandal at hand. โDonโt tell me you were having an affair with an engaged woman. How perverted is that?โ He paused, grin widening as he looked at her now. โKudos, though. Sheโs pretty.โ
Yuutaโs brow knit, irritation flashing across his face. โItโs not like that,โ he said quickly. โI havenโt seen her in years. Sheโs justโ an old friend. We grew up together. We donโt even talk anymore.โ His voice trailed off. Itโs all out of place.
โAnd yet,โ Maki murmured, arms folded, eyes narrowing in clinical interest, โshe runs to you as she leaves her future husband. Isnโt that interesting?โ
Yuuta hesitated, words catching. Then, softly, almost pleading, he said, โI meanโฆ look at her. She doesnโt seem like she has a lot of good friends. She probably just needed someone outside of those circles. Her familyโ theyโre the rich kind, you know. Theyโve got their own world, their own orbit. I donโt know why sheโs here, but Iโm assuming she has no one else.โ
At that, he could visibly see Maki soften, her shoulders relaxed. You were not the threat afterall. You were just a woman with a family of idiots.ย
โThatโsโฆ kinda sad,โ Panda said in response, voicing what everyone was feeling. And for once, his voice held no joke at all. It was sincere.ย
You stood by the window, with the phone pressed to your ear. You almost wish he wouldnโt pick up. You didnโt want to face this reality of yours. This life you lived. You wish you could start a new one here, with Yuuta and his odd group of friends.ย
When your fatherโs voice came through, it was clipped, cool, controlled โ as though you had interrupted a board meeting, or worse, humiliated him by existing in the wrong place.
โWhere are you?โ he demanded, without any effort to establish a preamble. โCome back. Now.โ
You swallowed. โI left.โ
โI am aware,โ he said. โYou have thirty minutes. Return.โ
โNo,โ you whispered.
โSpeak up,โ he urged. He hated it when you mumbled to yourself. Meek. Weak. Small.ย
Your voice was trembling, though you forced it to sound steady. โI couldnโtโโ You failed. โI could not do it, Papa. I tried. I really tried, but when I looked at himโฆ I wanted to leave, and so, I did.โย
You pressed your hand against the cold glass, the rain outside smearing the city into indistinct lights. Something to steady you, you tried to focus on the colours.ย
โI only wanted to apologise to you and Mama. I love you both. And Iโm only sorry for that. For abandoning you to deal with this for me. But I never wanted it, and you knew it.โย
You clutched the phone tighter, as though by holding it you might tether yourself to something familiar, but the voice on the other end was not safety. It never was.ย
โGoodbye,โ you said then. Final. Ending. โI hope you forgive me.โ
When you lowered the phone, the cafรฉ seemed to tilt, the air thinning around you. Your stomach hollowed, your skin prickled. You wanted air. You wanted your bed.ย
โAre you alright?โ Yuutaโs voice cut through cleanly into the fugue โ steady, warm, and concerned.
You turned, slow and uncomposed. Your eyes were rimmed with red, and before you could reason your way through it, you closed the distance between you and him. You all but collapsed into his arms.
He was startled and nearly lost his footing until he steadied himself. Then he steadied you, pulling you upright into his hold. His arms folded around you as his palm pressed to the back of your head in a slow, patting you now.ย
โItโs okay,โ he murmured. He repeated them anyway, again and again, slowly, until the sound itself became a tether. A mantra. A spell. And the more he said it, the more you began to believe it.ย
When your sobs stopped, as the deep tremor in your chest had flattened down and softened, you pulled back. The world may look a little blurrier now, but you felt lighter, too.
โ
There wasnโt a lot left to do now. The evening had already begun to fold itself into routine, the kind they all knew by heart. Usually, it was Maki who left first โ she had a strict regimen, physical health scheduled into her life with the same precision she levelled at everything else. She stood, gathering her things, then fixed the two of you with that measured, sharp-eyed stare as you held her shawl out to her.
โThank you for the shawl,โ you said, a little awkwardly.ย
โYouโre welcome,โ she replied, matter-of-fact. Then, after a beat: โYouโll be fine. Ask Yuuta for my number if you need a place to stay. My roommateโs moving out, actually, so the timing is sort of perfect.โ
Your eyes widened, catching faint light from the cafรฉโs low lamps. โReally?โ
โYeah,โ Maki said, shouldering her bag. โJust, itโs not a big deal. Just beโฆ cool.โ
โI can be cool,โ you said, feeling defensive all too suddenly, though grateful at her proposal. You hadnโt mapped this out realistically at all. Where would you stay? How would you pay for things now?
Panda lasted another half hour before lumbering up from the couch, crumbs trailing from his shirt. He clapped Yuutaโs shoulder with a heavy hand that left an ache long after, rolling through Yuutaโs bones.
โYou have so much to tell me,โ he said, grin spreading wide, teeth flashing. โCanโt wait to see you Monday.โ
It sounded less like enthusiasm and more like a threat. Yuuta frowned as Panda winked, shambling out into the drizzle with a parting wave.
That left Toge. He lingered the longest, nursing another cup of tea in silence, his gaze flickering between the two of you. Eventually, he stood, setting his empty mug down with a small click. Yuuta rose automatically, and you followed โ nothing really left to do at the cafรฉ but leave. Still, the act of standing felt imposed, almost abrupt, and guilt nipped at you, the faint sense that you had been a burden this evening.
Outside, the air was damp and cool. Inumaki hesitated by the door, then glanced at you once, at Yuuta, and back again. Without a word, he shrugged off his own coat โ a dark woollen thing, faintly scented with smoke and tea โ and draped it carefully over your shoulders
โSalmon,โ he murmured, tone soft, almost tender.
You turned to look at Yuuta, feeling tended to, but confused nonetheless.ย
Yuuta, fumbling for clarity, added, โYou can return it next time you see him.โ
โThank you,โ you said, still confused but clutching the coat closer around yourself.
Yuuta watched, throat tightening. Something faint and warm filled his chest, blooming against the night chill.
โUm, what do you want to do now?โ Yuuta asked. His voice was gentle and unassuming, as if the question cost him nothing particular or grave. Like the energy it took to move a muscle at best.ย
You blinked, a half-smile breaking through on your face. You expected heโd bid you farewell and wish you good luck on your way. And this would be the end of this.ย ย
You would preside after this evening only as an anecdote, a funny story to be told at parties.
โI donโt know,โ you admitted, feeling lighter than youโve felt in a year. Then, sheepishly, you speak up. โIโm hungry.โ
For the first time in a long time, you heard Yuuta laugh. Itโs a quiet, incredulous, almost disbelieving laughter.ย
You smiled. His laughter always carried this particular alchemy.
It pulled you back, just a little, to an image of a boy โ slight and sunburnt, and a girl โ bright and unburdened. To summer afternoons that were filled with knee scratches and ice creams, where time had stretched itself out for you and you alone. Where his laughter accompanying your own meant the evening would be well-lived and light.ย
Now, youโre here, years later.ย
โI have a bike,โ he said suddenly. โI can drive us up to the high street.โ
You blinked. โYou have a bike,โ you repeated, tone incredulous, baffled, impressed, but baffled nonetheless.ย
Because the Yuuta you remembered โ scrawny, awkward, scared of his own shadow Yuuta โ had somehow grown into this. Into a man who rode a bike. Into a man whose jacket stretched slightly over the curve of real muscle, whose hands looked steady enough to hold both the handlebars.ย
The thought invoked something strange within you.
โYeah,โ he said, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.ย
Still awkward, you concluded with a smile. Still him.
The rain had eased into a mist, soft enough to blur the streetlamps into trembling halos. Yuuta wheeled the bike out from the narrow row where it had been chained, the frame slick with water, the metal gleaming in the half-light. It wasnโt anything glamorous โ but a sleek red motorbike, well-worn yet polished, the kind of machine that spoke of quiet care. You noticed it immediately, how clean it was despite the weather, as though heโd taken time to tend to it, to keep it shining.
And yet, seeing him swing his leg over it, steady and confident, made something twist unexpectedly in your chest. A strange contrast to the boy you remembered, awkward and hesitant. This was new, unfamiliar โ and it unsettled you in ways you werenโt prepared to admit.
He glanced at you then, his expression caught somewhere between soft pride and embarrassment. โYou, uhโฆ youโll have to hold on.โ
The words made your pulse stutter. He said them with such plain practicality, and yet.
So you slid onto the seat behind him, hesitating for a beat before wrapping your arms around his middle. His body was warm even through the fabric of his jacket, the steady rhythm of his breath grounding you against the cool, damp air. You hadnโt realised how cold youโd been until now.
Yuuta stiffened, just slightly, then exhaled, adjusting his grip on the handlebars. โReady?โ
โMm,โ you murmured, your cheek brushing against his shoulder.
And then you were moving. The bike hummed under you, wheels hissing against the rain-dark road. The night opened itself up in streaks of light and shadow โ shopfronts shuttered, puddles gleaming, the occasional car spraying water as it passed. The air rushed past, damp and sharp, tugging at your hair, carrying the faintest scent of soap and rain from his collar.
โ
There were only a precious few places open at this hour. It was that liminal hour between early night and late evening. This was when the city was pausing for a brief moment to start the night โ commuters were seen to be returning to their flats, and the noise emanating from cafรฉs was thinning down to a lull as they started closing down. Yuuta was racking his brain for the different possibilities of cuisine, but the truth is, the options were few and very limited.
Yuuta walked beside you after parking near the stretch everyone colloquially called โfood street,โ and was turning this task over in his head, as though the very act of deciding on food were a kind of responsibility he must shoulder for you. Almost reverently, for your sake.
His mind ransacked through all the possibilities โ the ramen joints with neon lights on side streets, but too shabby, and perhaps too makeshift for you. You would be a pale flare in that kind of place, the white of your dress catching every eye. Worse yet, someone might assume he was your husband and think him a figure so careless enough to drag you here on your wedding night.
Convenience stores, he thought, were too sterile, lit with fluorescent bulbs, though he suspected you hadnโt had the opportunity to have a proper meal all day. He imagined you standing there outside the store in your wedding dress, peeling back a corner of film from a microwaved meal, and recoiled. He wanted to give you a meal that wasnโt pre-sealed in plastic.ย
He could cook for you, he thought briefly. But the idea felt awkward, inappropriate. He hadnโt seen you in years. And you were a lady, after all.ย
As though he was caught in a well-timed play, his eyes immediately caught sight of red lanterns glowing above a narrow wooden doorway. He had seen this place before, always in passing, and always from the corner of his eye when he was on his way to the laundromat, but never saw a real opportunity to enter. He wasnโt one to eat out often, besides the occasional social obligations he was invited to. He preferred cooking at home. It was a private ritual he liked.
He slowed, then turned to you. Your gaze was already drawn to the lanterns.
โWhat do you think?โ he asked, his voice soft, tentative.
You looked at the doorway, the lanterns, the promise of something warm and sustaining, and then back at him.ย
โHonestly,โ you replied with a tired smile. โI could eat anything right now. Itโs a free game.โ
And so, you entered, slipping beneath the lanterns.
The interior was smaller than you had expected. There were long counters of dark wood, and some fake green plants were scattered around the corners.ย
There was already a bunch of patrons on occupied tables, people who seemed to be mostly office workers still in suits hunched over their bowls and plates. The air was thick with the fragrance of grilled fish, miso, and the faint scent of the bitterness of charred onion. You would eat well tonight, at least.
At the entrance stood the proprietor, who was a middle-aged man with his hair pulled back into a low knot, and his sleeves rolled neatly to his elbows. He looked up as the two of you entered, and you could tell he attempted to repress his surprise at seeing you in your state.ย
โTable for two, then?โ he asked, his demeanour reverting to a calm assurance of someone who had seen all sorts of late-night guests pass through his doorway.
Yuuta nodded quickly. โYes, please.โ
The proprietor gestured you toward a small table tucked into the corner. You were grateful you wouldnโt catch the eyes of most of the patrons from here; you were half-shielded.ย
Yuuta hovered for a moment, awkwardly, unsure whether to pull the chair out for you or pretend he hadnโt thought of it, and in his hesitation, you had already firmly seated yourself with a heave of sigh, smoothing the damp folds of your dress. He followed, sitting opposite you now โ dejected by his lateness.
For a moment, neither of you spoke before Yuuta picked up the menu, eyes skimming without really reading. The truth was, the act of choosing a meal seemed suddenly impossible, just as choosing a place to eat did.
You leaned over your own menu, propping your chin on one hand, watching him. Intently, he would say.ย
Finally, he looked up, as though catching your gaze. โUm,โ he said, clearing his throat. โThey have fried chicken? And, uh, a few noodle bowls. Do youโโ he hesitated, โuh, want me to pick, orโโ
โYuuta,โ you cut in, grinning before you could stop yourself, โI told you. Anything. Iโd probably eat the menu itself if they deep-fried it.โ
The waiter arrived with two glasses of iced water, setting them down with a clink. You reached for yours immediately, the cold, sweating glass delicious against your palm, and took a long swig.
โSo,โ you spoke up, as you propped your chin onto both your hands. โTell me then.โ
Yuuta blinked. โAbout?โ
โAbout your life, I mean.โย
The clarification didnโt quell any of the weight for Yuuta.ย
Youโll admit you did not know how to ask this without sounding intrusive, nor how to stop once you had begun.ย
โWhat do you do now? For work, I mean. Do you have a wife? Is your favourite ice-cream flavour still vanilla?ย What made you start riding bikes? I never, in all my life, expected to see you on a motorcycle. You lookโโ you paused, then smiled at him, โyou look cool.โ
Yuuta smiled back, a little sheepish. โI work as a physical therapist. I help people with rehabilitation after injuries, surgeriesโฆ that sort of thing.โย
You considered this for a moment โ and yes, it made sense. A vocation rooted in gentleness, in patience, in touch. If anyone was suited to gently coaxing people back to their bodies, it was Yuuta.
He went on, โI still like vanilla, I guess. I havenโt thought of it much, but I like butterscotch lately. I ride motorcycles because theyโre cool, like you said. And because my father used to.โย
A small, boyish tug crossed his mouth at the thought.
โAnd I donโt have a wifeโฆ not yet, at least. โ
You laughed softly at that, not unkindly, but with something between amusement and disbelief over his sheer sincerity. A lesser person, you thought, would have parried, would have given you one answer, or would have given you none at all. Yuuta, in his way, had offered you everything you asked. It was just his nature to do so.ย
โWell, butterscotch makes sense. Theyโre practically the same,โ you mused, leaning back in your chair now. Your back feels relaxed against the slope of the chair.ย
โTheyโre not,โ he said quickly, not defensive so much as insistent.
โTheyโre the same,โ you grin.ย
Then there was a beat. It was not awkward, but suspended rather.ย
โAnd you know,โ you added lightly, โthe restโฆ Itโs good to know.โ
He doesnโt say anything to that. Just sort of acknowledges it the way one lets the silence do.ย
And so, the food arrived.ย
You squawked it down elegantly as you could. And Yuuta, for his part, managed to manipulate the utensils and plates on the table, quietly, to push more food toward you. Sliding dishes closer to you, turning bowls so they faced your side instead.ย
You must have eaten ten times more than he had. And you didnโt complain either, not as the lightheadedness that had strained you all evening began to disappear out, leaving with each full bite.
Eventually, the plates emptied out, leaving the table looking strangely naked. And though you were full, you felt a strange emptiness in realising that the night had come to its natural end as you both made your way outside.ย
โSo,โ Yuuta said, after a moment.โI can call Maki. You could stay with her tonight, if you need someplace to stay. Orโฆ if you have a place, I can take you there.โ
โI donโtโโ You stopped yourself, almost like you were recalibrating.ย โI donโt have a place, and I really do appreciate Makiโs offer. I probably will take it. Butโฆโย
Then, suddenly, you drew inward into yourself and grew shy, in a way he had never quite seen you before.ย
โI justโฆ I donโt know her. Iโm sure sheโs nice, but could I stay with you instead?โ
His eyes grew in size over that. His apartment was small. His place is really only meant for one. But he could move, he thought. He could make space somehow.
You hurried to correct yourself. โJโjust for tonight, I mean. I feel like Iโm all over the place today.โ
โOโof course,โ he said, almost meekly. โI can take you to my house. For tonight.โ
And so you hopped onto his bike again. The ride back became a scrunched rush of sensations โ the street signs slid past you in a haze of bright flashes, the wind was needling through your clothes, the soaked weight of your wedding dress billowing against the wind. And without notice, you had managed to nuzzle further and further into Yuutaโs back, drawn by the heat. Something he didnโt miss, not when the contact stopped his breath in small.
โย
By the time you two reached his apartment, the rain had dimmed in its volume, mere dust specks falling at an asynchronous pace.ย
Yuuta parked beneath the narrow space for parking outside his building. The engine died, and the sudden quietness settled.
For a moment, neither of you moved. Your arms were still around him.
โWeโre here,โ he said softly, not daring to be the first to move.ย
You blinked, as if coming alive from a dream now, and slowly unwound yourself from him. The absence of your touch left a phantom warmth in its place. Yuuta swallowed against it and swung his leg off the bike, steadying it before offering you his hand.
You took it without hesitation, as you followed him upstairs.ย
You climbed the stairs together, your dress grabbed carelessly in one hand. It left faint damp prints all over the cemented steps. He lived on the first floor, so it wasnโt much of a trek, but after the day youโve had every movement had slowly started to feel like a chore.ย
He fumbled slightly with his keys at the door and turned before opening it. โI didnโt know Iโd be hosting,โ he muttered, embarrassed.
You smiled as you looked down at the state of you. The brown ends of your garb, the wet hair โ โI think Iโd be the last person to care about that right now, Yuuta.โ
The apartment was tiny, as heโd warned you on the ride back home. A neat entryway. A quaint little kitchen to the left. A drab green sofa facing a television. A bookshelf that was, surprisingly, full โย of manuals, novels, rehabilitation texts stacked in a certain order you couldnโt make sense of.ย
But it was clean.
And it was warm inside.ย
โIโll uhโฆ make tea. You can take a shower.โ
And so, you did.ย
The bathroom was filled with steam that cleansed you whole, almost a baptism. Water ran over your scalp and down your spine, rinsing away the dayโs dirt and the rain.
When you got out of the shower, wrapped in a dim blue towel, you walked out to the sight of clothes neatly arranged on his bed.ย
You dressed slowly โ donning pants that fit you just about, and a large hoodie that swallowed you whole. The fabric sat heavy and warm against your skin. It smelled faintly of detergent and something sweet that brought you comfort.
When you stepped back into the living room, he was leaning against the kitchen counter, with two mugs in his hands.
He looked up.
And then his gaze stopped. The hoodie hanging loose at your thighs. The bare legs, and then his eyes shifted away.ย
You shifted your feet to cross the room slowly.ย
โThank you,โ you said, taking the mug from his hand, your fingers brushing his.
โCareful,โ he murmured, watching as you brought the mug to your lips. โ...Itโs hot.โ
You settled onto the green sofa, tucking one leg beneath you, blowing softly over the surface of the tea. He remained where he was, leaning against the counter.
โAre you going to stand there all night?โ you asked, one eyebrow arched.ย
He felt his throat tighten as he walked up to place himself beside you on the sofa, leaving a careful inch of space between the two of you โ a morally measured inch.
He puts the television on, his only saviour against the awkwardness of the silence befalling. There is a channel thatโs playing a reality show of some sort โ the ones that have giant balls of cushions that contestants seem to be bouncing off of. Itโs strange, but itโll do, he thinks, turning to look at you, to find you oddly invested.ย
He smiles.ย
You finish your cup eventually, placing it down on the table with a clink as you no longer seem invested in the TV but more so, his face.ย
You keep turning to stare at him, and he notices this in his periphery but canโt bring himself to meet your gaze.ย
And when he finally does, moments later. โI should get the bed ready for you,โ he said, already half-rising.
โDonโt go,โ you said, immediately as your hand closed around his.
He stops.ย
โWhat?โ he had managed to breathe out.ย
Your thumb rubbed against the top of his hand. โJust stay for a bit.โ
He sits, noticing how you donโt let go of his hand. You seem enamoured by his hand and its anatomy, running your hands across and over it as though you were a sculptor trying to understand the shape of him.ย
He doesnโt say anything, as he sits there feeling every touch of yours โ it scorches against his own skin. Marking him whole.ย
โWe need to sleep,โ he said as he felt your movements slowing, though his voice lacked conviction. โEventually.โ
โMust we?โ You tilted your head, mischief skimming over your features. โCan we not stay up all night like we used to?โ
โI have work,โ he says. But what he really wanted to say was heโd stay up all week for you if you had simply asked.ย
โRight,โ you said, dejected if only for a moment. โIโll let you go then.โ
But neither of you moved.
He doesnโt say anything, but thereโs a thought, one thatโs been brimming to the surface ever since you walked into the cafe to find him.ย
โYou left your wedding,โ he said, plainly.ย
โYes.โ You met his eyes without flinching.
โAnd you came to me.โ
โYes.โ
โWhy?โ
And then the room seems to contract around him.
โYuuta,โ you say. His name is careful in your mouth. Delicate.ย
He waits. His pulse is unpleasantly loud in his ears.
โDonโt you know why?โ you said, your eyes low now.ย
Something in him breaks just then.
He breathed in before he leaned toward you. It wasnโt sudden, not when he had imagined this for years despite his wits asking him not to. He stopped mere inches from you, as he waited. For you to initiate this, for you to come to him.ย
And you did โ meeting his lips halfway, pulling him into a kiss. The contact was warm, your lips moved against him languidly, like you both had all the time in the world.
His hand rose at last, tentatively finding its way to what he could grab first โ your waist. You drew him closer in reply, your fingers sliding upward, curling up the fabric of his t-shirt sitting on his shoulder.ย
The absurd laughter from the television carried on as you continued to kiss, tongues lapping against one another for the very first time.ย
Heโs sure this is a memory that will etch itself in his brain for eternity to come.ย
Yuuta pulled away after a moment, his lips still close enough to brush yours.ย
โAre you suโโย
You kiss him again, firmer this time, though still tender. It is an answer, or perhaps a refusal of the question.
โSโokay,โ you murmur when you part. Your forehead rests against his.
โYou left me,โ he says.ย
โI did.โ
โFor years.โ
โI did.โ
โDonโt everโโ He stops. His heart aches just then as he tries again. โAgainโโ
โI wonโt,โ you say. You donโt hesitate. โI wonโt ever leave you again, Yuuta.โ
You think, distantly, that this feels more binding than anything you might have said at your wedding today, standing in front of your family, standing in front of that stranger for a fiancรฉ.ย
โDonโt just say that,โ he warned, though his voice had softened, as though he remembered the hurt all over again.ย
โI do not,โ you answered. โI missed you too much to leave you again.โ
He drew you closer this time, to let your head settle beneath his chin, as his cheek rested against your hair.
โI kept thinking about you,โ he says eventually. His voice vibrates faintly against your temple. โEven when I tried not to.โ
โYeah?โ You say. Curious, wanting to know the deep imprints you had left on him.
โYeah,โ he said. โAll through college.โ
โToday,โ you say carefully. You hear hum in response.ย
โWhen I was getting ready, I was left alone for a moment. The moment before Iโd have to go out and walk to the altar,โ you continue. โI thought that the dress I was wearing felt too tight, and I never wanted a veil, but my mother wore one, so I had to as well. And I thought about the last time I felt happy โ I mean, truly happy โ was when I was a teenager.โ
Yuuta doesnโt say anything, but you notice his arm enclosing you further into him. Heโs warm against your skin.ย
โAnd now I donโt know what Iโm doing. I ran,โ you said. โAnd now Iโm here with you.โ
He exhales slowly, his hand moving along your arm. โYou donโt have to decide everything tonight,โ he says. โYou donโt have to decide the rest of your life tonight.โ
You tilt your head up at him. โBut I already did one big thing. Life-changing big thing.โ
โYou just ran from a wedding,โ he says gently.ย
A small huff of laughter leaves your mouth. โYou always did that.โ
โDid what?โ
โMake things less catastrophic,โ you added. โThatโs part of why I ran to you today. Well, that and you know.โ
โYeah,โ he says plainly. He knows.ย
You shift, drawing your knees up slightly, turning toward him more fully. โAre you sure about this?โ
โWhat about?โ He asks, surprised.ย
โIโm a burden,โ you say.ย
โYouโre never a burden,โ he replies immediately.ย
โNo,โ you say, your finger coming up to hush him. โListen to me, I have no skills outside of sustaining an audience of wealthy people. I have a degree that I didnโt enjoy. And I donโt know what Iโm doing. Iโm a burdenโ
โLike I said,โ he says then. His hand comes up to brush your hair back. โYou donโt have to think about that tonight. And itโs okay, Iโll take care of you until you figure things out.โ
โYou think I can justโฆ reappear and take up space in your life again?โ You ask.
His jaw flexes. โYou already have.โ
You reach up, smoothing a wrinkle near his collarbone โ a meaningless gesture, an excuse to touch him again. โYouโre not angry?โ
โIโm just happy youโre here with me,โ he admits. He thought it was only ever possible in his dreams. Now that youโre here, it was hard to hold any resentment he had built up.ย
And you then at some point youโre helping him place the cups back as you sit and watch him make up his bed for you.
You walked up to him now.ย
โThank you,โ you say, though you knew the words feel insufficient.
โOf course,โ he replies quickly. โDo you need extra pilloโโ
He doesnโt get to finish his sentence as you suddenly inched forward to kiss him. Your hand loops around his neck as his hands find your waist. And he keeps kissing you fervently and your mind wanders, onto images of him in college kissing other girls. Itโs a silly thing โ to be bothered by a version of him that you left and hurt, finding solace in other women.ย
You fall onto the bed at some point with him over you, he pulls back.ย
โSorry,โ you murmur, smiling up at him. โYou were asking me something?โ
He laughs, but it catches in his throat. He looks away, as if the ceiling suddenly had a large stain.
โYuuta,โ you rasped. โLook at me, please.โ
You moved his face to make him meet your imploring gaze. You found his expression to be open, almost boyish in its vulnerability.
โI donโt know what to say,โ he admits, ducking his head into your neck, away from your eye contact again, โYou make me nervousโฆโ
You run your hand through his hair, grazing up and down his nape. He likes the sensation. He thinks he could rest here forever.ย
It was safe to say that you were aware of your effect on him, whether it was physical, as you feel him against you now, or mental, but hearing it out loud is different.ย
โI make you nervous?โ You ask, trying to maintain a sense of mischief in your tone, but it simmers down and is overpowered by a genuine curiosity and amazement.
โYeah,โ he says, looking up at you now. โYou always have.โ
At that, you scrunch your brows. Itโs a brief reflex of disbelief. โNot always. We were friends, werenโt we?โ
โWe were,โ he says. We are. โBut you made me nervous. You just didnโt see it back then. You always made me nervous.โ
โWhy?โ
โYou were so pretty,โ he says, strangely unabashed.
โYou are,โ he says, his hand lifting to brush a strand of hair from your face. His fingers linger there, grazing your temple, your cheek. โYou are pretty.โ
โSo pretty,โ he murmured, bending down to kiss your neck now, no doubt tomorrow youโd be blessed with flurries of red kisses all over your neck.ย
You clothes didnโt last long on you after that and you soon found yourself bare atop his bedsheets as he licked and sucked his way along the vast skin he had since left exposed.ย
He was moving so languidly, but you were wound tight like the string of a bow.ย
โYuuta,โ you said then, as you was leaving kissing your stomach. โYouโre good at this.โ
โThanks,โ he says briefly, too invested in kissing down your abdomen.ย
โNo,โ you say, pulling his head up forcefully now. โYouโre really good at this. Had a lot of experience in college, did you?โ
He looked up then, just with his eyes to gauge if this was a real concern or if this was you being you. Teasing.ย
โAlways knew youโd be a possessive one,โ he said plainly.ย
โThe most,โ you said with a pout.ย
He came back up then, kissing your cheek.
โGood,โ he replied softly. โMeans you plan on keeping me this time.โ
โHey,โ he said again, more softly. โWas that a real question?โ
You hesitated. That was answer enough.
โI dated,โ he confessed simply, his arm moving to hold your hip. โA little.โ Honest as always.ย
Your stomach dips.
โBut it was neverโฆโ He pauses. โIt was never you.โ Honest as always, you think again.
You frown faintly. โThatโs not fair.โ
โIโm not just saying this.โ His thumb moves absently against your side. โI liked some of them. They were kind. But I always knew it was you.โ
โReally?โ
โYeah,โ he affirmed plainly.ย
โAnd you?โ he says then, coming back down to kiss your stomach. โYou were about to marry someone.โ
That one lands, as you find him inches away from your clit.ย
You swallow.
โHe was,โ you admit as he was about to press a kiss against your trembling thigh, โBoring.โ
And then your knees part, your cunt is fully on display. And you donโt think youโve ever felt this bare before. You watch in your own awe as Yuuta licks his lips and finally presses his mouth to your clit.
You have an instant reaction, what with the way you buck into his mouth and release a struggling moan. His thumb seems to massage your outer lips, with his tongue trailing up and down your folds.ย
His lips suction against the bundle of nerves, with his tongue caressing the nub right after. Rolling up and down as he groans into you.
You canโt hold back the string of moans and whimpers that emerge from your throat, your eyes roll back into your skull, as your legs vibrate, your hands yank on Yuuta's hair, before you find your brain turn to mush.ย
He comes back up, his mouth slick as he says, โThink he could do that?โ with a smirk.ย
Your hand comes up to brush your thumb along his jaw. โYouโre enjoying this far too much.โ
โYou were gone for years,โ he says. โThink this is the least Iโm allowed.โ
โOh, is this payback then?โ you ask.
โNot payback,โ he says, his hand coming down to finger your slick pussy. โIf youโre enjoying this, can it be considered payback?โ
โYuuta, please,โ you whimpered, your hand reaching out for whatever skin of his they could find purchase in.
โPlease what?โ he asked gently, kissing the corner of your mouth as your hand moved to feel his shoulder blades.
โNeed you,โ you whined, turning to kiss him. You pulled back, โNow.โ
โNeed me?โ he repeated your words against your mouth.
You nodded.
Yuuta reached down to guide one of your legs up and bent back towards your hip, looping it to rest in the slope around his waist.
He took his cock in hand, moving up and down against your clit a couple of times before he pushed in.ย
It was a welcoming burn as he moved a couple of times before you adjusted to the sensation of him inside you.
Your hands slid up to brush against the short strands of Yuutaโs undercut.ย
โIs this okay?โ He asked, then placed a soft kiss against the corner of your lips, as though soothing you through the stretch.
โMore,โ you pleaded, pulling him into the crook of your neck.
Yuuta snapped his hips up hard into you, sheathing himself entirely inside of you. A moan tore out of you again.ย
โShit,โ Yuuta breathed, eyes squeezing shut as he kept moving. โYouโre so pretty.โ
You trembled beneath him, your eyes drawing down to the sight of him pulling in and out, in and out, you were mesmerised at the sight of him, sweat sheening as he looked so vulnerable for you.
He set a rhythmic, steady pace, it was almost languid. His movements werenโt quick, but rather, they were deep, pressing you down into the mattress so hard with every move of his hips.
His thumb came down to brush against your clit, gently at first and then a little firmer when he saw the way it made your expression go glassy and unfocused.ย
โIโm gonna come,โ you declared. โKiss me.โ
And so he did, bending down as he kept his movements steady, kissing you deeply.ย
โโm close too,โ he groaned against your lips now, coming up to brush another unfocused kiss against your forehead, as his panting breaths caught on.ย
And then you came, your legs trembling as he kept moving. Soon after, he did too, craning down to crash his mouth to yours, his hips stuttering.
Yuuta collapsed beside you, catching his breath as you moved to fall onto his bare chest. Like clockwork, his arms gathered you against him, slowly then drawing circles against your back.
The adrenaline that carried you through the evening has finally begun to dissipate, leaving only a heavy drowsiness in its wake.
Your head droops heavy against his chest.
โYouโre exhausted,โ he murmurs.
You shake your head weakly in protest. Your fingers have slowed against him. Your breathing has deepened.
โI donโt want to sleep,โ you admit softly. โI want to stay up and talk to you all night.โ
โThereโs always tomorrow,โ he replied, voice mirroring your softness, as the circles on your back never falter.
You swallowed.
โI feel like if I close my eyes, Iโll wake up back there.โ
He didnโt hesitate. โYou wonโt.โ
โYou donโt know that.โ
โI do.โ His hand flattened briefly against your spine, firm. Present. โYouโll wake up tomorrow to a tray full of breakfast and some flowers.โ
That made you lift your head. Just enough to look at him.
โYouโre getting me flowers?โ You smiled.
โYeah,โ he said. โNow that weโreโฆโ he trailed off, still too timid to admit it.
You tilted your head. โDating?โ
โโฆYeah.โ The word came out softer than before. โIโll buy you flowers every day.โ
A tired laugh slipped out of you, warm against his skin.
โThatโs a bit much,โ you murmured, shifting so you could see the small, earnest curve of his mouth.
โOh?โ he said, one brow lifting. โThought that was the kind of treatment princess was used to.โ
You reached up, brushing your fingers along his jaw before leaning in to press a slow kiss to his lips.
โPrincess will settle for kisses every day for now,โ you said against him. โIf thatโs okay.โ
He hummed softly, the sound vibrating beneath your cheek as you settled back down. His arms tightened, just slightly, as you listened to his heartbeat.
And when your eyes finally closed, he was still drawing circles on your back.
~ Synopsis: you broke it off with the bllk boys many years ago. But it seems they just won't leave you alone: how else would you justify the fact that your children's favorite football player, out of all players in the world, is your ex?
~ Characters: Itoshi Rin and Isagi Yoichi
~ Aged up characters!! They're all around 28-35 here, including you!! Also I cussed a lot here lol
~ Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3
Isagi Yoichi
Isagi Yoichi.
You weren't unfamiliar with that name. Why would you be? You dated for almost 4 years after all. High school sweethearts or whatever you'd like to call it, your relationship looked like it came straight out of a fantasy book.
He was perfect, to put it simply.
Always supported you in whatever you did, clearly cared for you and your needs and noticed the most unimportant details (that are actually the most important ones in a relationship): how you liked your coffee, when your shoes were untied, that the volume of your TV was always at an even number. He noticed.
He was comprehensive too. Afterall, he agreed to the break up even though he loved you to the core of his soul.
You see, you were the one who suggested the break up. You loved him too - and loving is letting go. You knew about his aspiration to be a worldwide known soccer legend. And, since you were aware of how unforgiving and demanding the athlete world was, you decided it would benefit him to focus all his time and energy on his career instead of on a relationship.
After hours of a heartfelt talk, you both decided to break it off - a mutual break up that hurt even more than if you fought and break up after, because you both still knew you loved each other to bits, but that was exactly why you both agreed to it.
Saying he agreed to the break up doesn't mean he didn't fought against it though - trust me, he did. He argued and denied and even fell to his knees at one point, but inevitable agreed to it, because if it meant it'd make you feel better he'd do anything.
He even tried to continue as friends, but you denied, saying you didn't want to be a distraction (he fired back saying you'd never be a distraction, but you weren't really buying it. So, you blocked him everywhere while repeating to yourself that it was "All for him", but was it really? Or was it your own thoughts and insecurities that got too loud? You didn't really like to think much about it or your head started to hurt - and your heart too)
So, it was safe to say you were familiar with the name Isagi Yoichi.
Actually, it seemed you saw it even more constantly now, almost ten years after the break up.
"And Isagi Yoichi, with a header, ties the game for Bastard Mรผnchen! This is one of the world's best in action, ladies and gentlemen!"
You were a football fan at heart. That was one of the things that got you and Isagi closer: your shared interest for football. So it wasn't a surprise that it was also your son's favorite sport.
"Mom, look at Isagi's goal!" Your son, Yuko, pulled at your skirt while you cooked to catch your attention, pointing at the TV "He's the best!"
It was a surprise, thought, that Isagi was his favorite football player.
"He is, huh?" You smiled, and Yuko feverly nodded his head up and down.
"Yeah!"
A gentle silence settled between the two of you. Yuko was the product of a relationship with a jerk you thought could be the love of your life. Turns out you were very wrong and, the moment you announced your pregnancy, he ran and disappeared, blocking you everywhere and leaving you with a positive pregnancy test and crushed spirits.
But you were not weak. You weren't just going to sit down and let this asshole ruin your life, so you persevered. You carried Yuko for nine months with pride, and it was safe to say you wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him.
Your son was the one you held dearest to your heart, the one who got you through the darkest times of your life, your best friend...
"I want my birthday party to be about him!"
...and also the one who made you lose your head at times.
With a sigh, you crouched down to match his height
"Yuko, dear, I thought we had agreed on your party being about the Avengers. You were so excited about it too, saying you wanted - who was it, oh! - the Hulk to come? I invited him, and now you want me to uninvite him?" You put your hand on your chest, faking a fearful expression "What if he gets mad and crashes the party? Or worse - eats all the cake in secret?"
Your son only giggled, patting your head
"Don't worry, momma! The Hulk can still come to my party!" He quickly ran back to the living room when he heard the referee's whistle signaling the beggining of the second half, and you followed him "I'm sure he's an Isagi fan too! Everyone is, since he's the best!"
Then, just as you were about to crash out, an almost unadible whisper came from Yuko
"You think..." He looked at you with hopeful eyes "You think you can invite him for my birthday party, mom?"
Oh, fuck your life.
"I'll see what I can do, dear"
You kissed your son's temple and went back to the kitchen, not really able to focus on the food anymore.
What could you do? I mean, technically you could hire a look alike. Your son probably wouldn't even be able to notice anyways - he'd be happy and you wouldn't need to go through an emotional torment like you were right now. Win-win situation.
But you just couldn't. Something about knowing you could get him exactly what he wanted and didn't just because of your own stupid feelings made you feel like the worst mom ever.
But would Isagi even agree to it? He probably had you blocked already, or didn't care about you enough to go through such lengths anymore. Maybe he wasn't in Japan at the moment, or his PR team wouldn't let him, or he changed his number.
The chances of him coming to the party were slim, so you decided to try. Since he'd probably refuse anyway, you would at least feel better since, well, you tried. It wouldn't be your fault that he didn't come, and you could finally rest with your hired look-alike.
With shaky hands, you grabbed your phone, going straight to the message app.
You unblocked him, wincing at the old texts you just couldn't bring yourself to delete. You typed and deleted your message at least thrice before settling for a simple: "Hey, Isagi. I know it's been very long, but can we talk?"
You quickly shut your phone and slammed it screen down on the kitchen counter, not expecting a quick response - actually, not expecting response at all.
So, accordingly, when your phone ringed, you jumped.
You let it ring once, then twice. On the third ring, you finally picked up the call. You didn't see the caller ID, but you already knew who it was.
"...hello?" You muttered, and you hated how weak it sounded.
From across the phone, Isagi muttered your name. Almost like a prayer, like he couldn't believe it's been so long since he last said it. He said it through a hushed whisper, and you could hear the pure devotion in his voice. He spoke like he wasn't worthy of your time or even your thoughts, and it left you puzzled.
"Hi!" He continued, a little too enthusiastic when compared to the way he said your name "You said you wanted to talk. What is it?"
His voice sounded different yet the same. More mature, sure, but it was the same tone. The same excited way of speaking he used when talking to you about soccer, and you could practically see his 18 year old self gesticulating like a crazed person while explaining why this formation was better than that one.
It made you internally giggle.
Isagi called out your name again, pulling you out of your thoughts.
"Sorry" you muttered. An awkward silence settled between you both. You pinched the brige of your nose and sighed, mentally preparing yourself to go on with what you were about to do.
You were already regretting it.
"Isagi" you whispered his name softly. Your son was in the room next to yours, and you didn't want him to hear. You didn't want give him false hopes - even thought you knew in your heart things weren't going the way you originally thought. Yoichi calling you, and not simply texting like a normal person would, was enough to make you realize that.
You heard Isagi make a sound through the phone when he heard his name, clearly overwhelmed - and perhaps even happy to hear you call him again, even if it was only his surname "I need a favor."
"Of course!" You could practically feel him smiling through the phone "What do you need, babe?"
You both stammered.
"I-I m sorry. I didn't mean to..."
"It's alright, Isagi." You smiled bitterly "It's no big deal" you sighed again, swallowing hard "Anyways, I need to talk to you about something very important."
"S-sure, go ahead."
His eagerness actually unsettled you.
You cleared your throat and continued
"I know this will sound insane, but if it's not much to ask..." you took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself. Then, not any louder than a whisper, you continued "...could you come to my son's birthday party in two weeks?"
An uncomfortable silence filled the call, and you were quite literally feeling like you were about to faint.
Then, came Isagi's response.
"Huh?"
"Only if you're in Japan, of course!" You were feeling a little embarassed "I-I totally understand if you can't come! Honestly, I don't know why I called. You're a famous player, after all! You probably have much more to do than spend your time on a silly birthday party..."
"Hey."
"And I'm really sorry for wasting your time, I didn't mean to! Anyways, you can just pretend this never happened..."
"[Name]."
"Actually, just block me. Forget I did this please. I just thought..."
"[Name]!"
You got silent the moment he screamed your name.
Damn. For someone who was trying to act nonchalant and cool, you were really playing the pathetic part.
You heard Isagi sigh from across the screen.
Then, what he said next absolutely shocked you.
"I can go"
You answered something very smart amongst the lines of: "Really?!"
"Yes" he chuckled, but you felt something different in his voice. When he answered the call, he was happy. Overjoyed, even - and you knew that because you knew him. But now, even though he wasn't downright crying, you could feel a tension on the way his words came out. Almost like he was sad. Strange. "But, uhm... Won't he mind?"
"He?" You were confused. You thought he was taking about your son. Why would he mind that his favorite player was coming to his birthday party?
"Your... husband." Isagi uttered that last word like it physically hurt him to get it out.
...
"I'm not married, Isagi." You deadpanned
Now, it was his turn to come up with a very smart reply: "Wait- are you serious?"
"Yes" you said with a confused expression. Then, a little calmer than you were moments before, you continued "Yuko, my son, is sadly also the son of a jackass who abandoned me the moment I got pregnant. His stupid father never took responsibility, so I raise him as a single mother. You're his favorite football player, so, if you could come to his little party, it would mean the world to me- him. To him"
For the nmpth time that call, the line went silent. Then you heard a noise that sounded like the phone being thrown. Then...
"YES!" you heard Isagi shout, so loudly you had to remove the phone from your ear, even if his mouth was nowhere near the speaker. You carefully put it against your ear again, only to hear running from the other end. Was this idiot really running and jumping from joy across the screen? Then, the sound of hustling came, signaling he really had let the phone down to run and just picked it up. A screech came out when he grabbed the phone again "Y-you heard that? I thought I had muted the call!" He stuttered, and you started to smile "I'm not saying 'Yes' as in 'I'm glad that jerk left you alone and now you're a single mother', I'm saying it as in 'Im glad you don't have a husband'! N-not that I wouldn't be happy if you did have a husband! I would be happy for you, really. But like... You know what?" He interrupted himself, irradiating joy "Just-just send me the date. I promise you I'll be there. Like, pinky promise. I'll bring gifts and all! It will be Yuko's best birthday party ever, I swear!"
Shit. You were crying.
"Thank you, Isagi"
He calmed down a little at your genuine words, and his voice came out meek when he replied:
"You're welcome." You could feel his smile through the screen "And [Name]?"
"...yes?"
"...don't block me again, please"
He ended the call, the sound of the rings a sharp contrast to the softness of his voice and the impact of his words.
"Mom, come look at this cool move Isagi did last match!" Your son shouted from the living room, but all you could do was stare at your black phone screen, eyes unblinking.
Trust me, you were watching Isagi's move up close.
Rin Itoshi
Rin hated meet and greets.
He liked his fans, but he hated interacting with people in general. So, having to interact with hundreds of people for more than 2 hours? Absolute hell. Just fucking kill him with a chainsaw already, won't you?
He usually didn't really engage in conversation. He just signed some autographs, posed for some pictures and that was pretty much it.
Today was another day of an excruciatingly boring meet and greet.
'It will be over soon, it will be over soon', he kept repeating to himself. He could see the end of the line of fans and practically feel the softness of his hotel's bed mattress already. Only a few more minutes and he'd finally leave.
"Mr. Rin?" He heard a high pitched voice call out. He looked from left to right but saw no one. "Right here!"
He looked down.
Huh. It was a toddler.
Okay, it wasn't really a toddler. Probably a bit older - around 5 or 6 - but still a little kid. It was a girl, hair in pigtails and toothy grin widening when he noticed here.
Rin thought it was a little weird. His fanbase wasn't mostly made out of kids - Bachira's had many more. Rin was used to interacting with boys and even girls - he was popular among them for some reason - but children? No one prepared him for that. So, he just did what he did best: he stayed silent. This kid was the last one on his line anyway. The others wanted to meet the other members that were on the same table as him: Isagi, Nagi, Bachira, Barou and others.
The kid didn't seem to notice his silence - or, if she did, she chose to ignore it. She continued speaking.
"I really like how you play!" She held her hand up for him to grab, and he awkwardly did (after Isagi nudged him to do so, because he was just staring at it, confused).
The moment he shook her hand, his breath hitched pathetically. It wasn't anything bad, no. It was just, the moment he looked at her better, he noticed... her eyes.
Her eyes were familiar. He couldn't pinpoint where he knew them from though (he could. He just didn't want to).
He shook his head to get rid of the strange feeling and just continued staring at the kid in silence.
"I want to be like you when I grow up!" The girl smiled "But my mom says I shouldn't. She says I should choose another player to have as an inspiration, like Isagi or Bachira!"
A vein popped in his neck. Then, in his usual flat tone, he fired back.
"Your mom's stupid."
Isagi hit him on the thighs, and he could hear Bachira laughing from across the table, but he didn't really care.
The girl giggled.
"I'm gonna tell her you said that!"
"Go on. I don't care" he crossed his arms.
"She's right there, actually!" The girl smiled. Then, she shouted "Mom, come here!"
Rin could hear a sigh from the mom, who stepped aside from the line to let the girl talk to him.
Damn, this woman really hated his guts, huh? Not that he gave a fuck anyways.
"Ohhh, she's coming!" The girl continued giggling and teasing
"Again, I couldn't care less."
The moment the mom stepped into the light though, Rin's soul quite literally shivered.
Oh shit. He did care.
It was you.
You, his ex. The person he loved the most. Actually, the only person he ever let near his heart.
You looked more mature. Definitely prettier, even though he thought it was impossible for you to look prettier. You changed, and he did too - but his heart still did that stupid backflip the moment he saw you.
"What is it, darling?" You crouched down, head patting your daughter's hair.
Rin took advantage of your moment of distraction to fix everything wrong about himself. He fixed his posture, combed his hair with his hands and even drank a bit of water - even though he choked on it and almost died. You didn't really look though, so he just ignored it (Isagi didn't. He was rolling from laughter). He did all of this to look nonchalant and composed in front of you. It's been 9 years since you broke up, so he wanted to show you he was doing just fine, as if the mere sight of you didn't ruin him completely.
This fake composure quickly vanished the moment he uttered your name, interrupting your kid.
"[Name]..."
Gosh, he hated how vulnerable he sounded.
You looked up, a nameless emotion swimming in your irises - there it was. The girl's eyes came from you. They were the same as yours - the same beautiful tone he missed so much, but didn't want to admit.
"Rin." You muttered. You wanted to sound confident - but you just sounded like someone who had explosive diarrhea. Your voice failed and you wanted to hit yourself for that. To ignore the embarrassment, you looked back at your daughter "So, sweetie?"
Rin looked at your daughter. Then you. Then back at your daughter. Then a fearful expression appeared in his eyes, clearly begging for your child to keep her mouth shut...
"Rin called you stupid!"
Fuck.
"No I didn't" he quickly shot back
"But you did!" She pointed at him "He said you're very stupid, mom!"
"Shes lying." He got up quickly, his chair making a screeching noise that made everyone cover their ears "I did not say that, [Name]."
"Liar liar pants on fire!" Your daughter fired, giggling
"Oh, so you think I'm stupid, Rinnie?" You looked at him with a smirk and oh he was absolutely melting.
He thought he had gotten over you. He really did. You were nothing but past to him - till you came back. And now he was hooked - again.
"No." He said way to quick "She is" he then pointed at your daughter
"Hey!" She crossed her arms, glaring at him "I'm not stupid!"
"You're right, you're not' Rin crossed his arms back, a faint sign of a smirk on his lips "You're a liar."
"Mom!" She hugged your leg "He's mean! You're right, I should've been a Bachira or Isagi fan!"
You only giggled, and Rin forgot how to breath for a second. The whole world seemed to stop when you looked at him, and, if he searched hard enough, he was sure could see his 14 year old self in your eyes. The one that was crazy in love with you (but if he really searched hard, he could find it hidden inside himself. It was only that you brought it out)
He wanted to live forever in this moment.
"Miss? You really need to go. The event is ober"
Rin never wanted to strangle a bodyguard like he wanted to right now.
He didn't even notice that you were the last people there. Neither did he noticed all his teammates attentively staring at the display in front of them.
"Oops, I'm sorry!" You smiled awkwardly at the bodyguard, then quickly grabbed your daughter's hand "C'mon, love. Thank Mr. Rin for his time"
"Thank you, Mr. Rin!" Your daughter bowed, and Rin doesn't know why but he bowed back. Thank you for bringing your mother back to me, I guess.
"Let's go" you turned to leave. You were almost leaving again - away from his grasp and he couldn't do anything about it. He had to think fast. How to stop you, how to stop you, how to...
"Wait, mom! I forgot to ask for an autograph!"
Oh, bless your adorable daughter.
"Really?" You sighed, then let go of her arm reluctantly "Go on. But do it fast!"
Your daughter nodded. Then, she quickly grabbed a paper and a pen that someone (Bachira) casually and conveniently handed her and went up to Rin again.
He grabbed the pen with shaky hands. His mind was running so fast that he forgot his own signature. What the fuck was happening to him? Was he scared?
Him, Rin Itoshi, scared to make a move? No, it couldn't be.
...maybe he was a little afraid of you having a family already and maybe he'd sulk about it for days on end if you had, but that's pretty much it!
"Psst, hey!" He heard your daughter mutter. She put her little hands to cover her mouth and whispered, like she was sharing a top secret with him. And she was, because the next words that came out of her mouth shocked Rin' entire being "She's single."
That was all the confirmation he needed.
Your daughter went back to you skipping, smile on her face and a paper with a signature and a combination of digits that strangely looked like a phone number.
janainaart
prguitarman
theartofmadeline
titsay
discoholicmusic
