You can have the best of me

I'm Sarah and I'm probably too sweet for you. ISFJ. Pisces. 30. Remember this. ✨ I’m a day-dreamer and a night-thinker ✨

[swim-forthemusic]

I wish I would’ve respected myself more

with my chronic singleness back then because then I wouldn’t have been okay with being a secret. It would’ve saved me so much time, money, tears, mental distress.

I would’ve never known how much men lie, I would’ve never known how it feels to not be cared for and discarded, I would’ve never known what it was like to be cheated on. I wouldn’t have these lasted feelings of being tainted. I’m so upset with myself. It’s so hard to forgive.

Granted, I didn’t give him easy sex nor booze. And he did get them from others before deciding he was done with me. But I shouldn’t have entertained it at all because I literally got nothing out of it except all of the bad things. I was even kind at the end. Not fair for me. It’s my fault completely.

[swim-forthemusic]

I may have never felt romantic love in all of my 30 years of living

and probably will only keep experiencing unrequited love. I may have never been the type of girl to get and keep the guy or have even been attractive to guys. It may just be not in the plan for me to hold a hand, be held, have someone to love and be loved for forever. I can do things myself.

However, I like it when the universe throws me a bone and gives me an orgasm in my sleep. I probably get them a couple of times every couple of years and I am grateful for them. I don’t think that many woman experience that. Although, a lot of women do get orgasms in real life caused by a partner. I do think it is kind of cool to get one caused by my brain spontaneously. I will take it is a good sign anyways!

[swim-forthemusic]

In love with my nails this month!!! ⭐️💙🌙

[swim-forthemusic]

Sometimes my horoscopes on Costar REALLY hurts (like when it told me who I’m thinking of isn’t coming back), but this one is sooo important.

I still get upset thinking about him, her, everything that has happened that I saw, what happened behind my back and how he just left and treated me without a care. BUT my friend acknowledged that she’s proud of me for reading books and saying that I will never go through that again. I will not suffer in silence in a relationship again either. I am mad that I’ve accepted being a secret, only being chosen on his terms, that I was kind to the break up text and gave him so much grace because I believed in him. I am just mad. Never again. I’m still learning to forgive myself, for sure. I should not be wasting my time thinking of something who has not nor is thinking about me. I don’t remember what I used to think about prior to him, sadly, but I do know I am tired of being like this. He never cared about me nor believed the future of us that he talked about and sold to me. It’s unfortunate that he only came into my life because he saw I was weak and that I was accepting of nothing. I never questioned anything to keep him happy. I close my eyes and I can still picture everything in his house like I’m there. It’s sad that I wanted to be his friend so badly, still do. I like having friends and people choosing to be in my life. But I need consistency that he never could or tried to give me. I remember a family member told me that he WILL come back because I am such a catch. But if he doesn’t know me, if he never truly felt anything, if he’s scared of accountability, if he’s truly not a man like he said he was, if he lacked respect for me…and I know that now.

I also know that it’s the past and not my present. I should and will work on rejoicing ❤️

[swim-forthemusic]

Hi 🖤

[swim-forthemusic]

Thoughts before bed ☁️

I know God has gotten me out of environments and situations that I had no business being in. I know being trusting, loyal and loving are good qualities to have and being taken advantage of doesn’t change my worth. I know I wasn’t naive; information was being deliberately kept away from me. I am allowed to talk about it. However often and however many details I want. I’m moving forward, but still processing. I am living in the present while healing from the after effects, especially of the psychological harm of being discarded and cheated on. I believe that if you know better, you do better. That’s why I will never let myself be emotional neglected ever again. Not by another person and I’m working on not doing that to myself too. I’m working on my thoughts daily, reading self help books, working on my eating and sleep habits, and working on being around people who actually like and love me. (I almost posted this to FB but I think maybe here would be more appropriate. Maybe.)

[swim-forthemusic]

Upside down 🌀

[thisyearsgirls]

“From now on, we’re gonna have a little less ritual, and a little more fun around here.”

[beyonce-knowles-carter]

You must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul.

[mikelogan]

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES 3x20 Do Not Go Gentle

1 Gifset per TVD Episode (64/66)

[thisyearsgirls]

Buffy in HD | Welcome to the Hellmouth/The Harvest

[daeneryssansa]

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes. Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head, in burning red.

[johnaeryns]

every episode of buffy the vampire slayer ✞ 1.10 Nightmares

We are defined by the things we fear. This symbol, these two planks of wood, it confounds me. Suffuses me with mortal dread. But fear is in the mind. Like pain, it can be controlled. If I can face my fear, it cannot master me. Something is happening above, something new. A powerful psychic force. Do you feel it? 

[nero-neptune]

“tell anybody what you have just witnessed, and you will be bat bait!”

the little vampire | 2000 | dir. uli edel

[davinaclaires]

THE LITTLE MERMAID 1989, dir. John Musker & Ron Clements

[whoeveryoulovethemost]

spn hiatus creations | week 7 ↳ favorite quote: Dean Winchester+quotes

[sophsun1]

#when someone says do it scared

Sabrina the Teenage Witch – 2.21: Fear Strikes Up a Conversation