#𝑺𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑬𝑻𝑹𝑼𝑻𝑯. a private ﹠ highly selective duo-writing blog for joel miller ﹠ ellie williams from naughty dog’s the last of us. 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐧: 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚍𝚍𝚜, 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚗, 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎, 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎, ﹠ 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜. 18+ only | minors DNI. penned by jay ( 26, he/him ). 𝑰𝑵 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑽𝒀 𝑨𝑭𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑳𝑶𝑵𝑬𝑮𝑼𝑵'𝑺 𝑱𝑶𝑬𝑳 𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑹.
The reply was quick, like the snap of a whip in the silence that spanned between them. A part of him knew he had to bite back, his tone matching her own, knowing she’d never listen otherwise. She was headstrong, stubborn like her father- and he’d already expected a fight between them. He’d noticed when she’d left, a missing horse in the barn and not a single person knowing where she was. If anything, him coming after her was probably mercy, compared to what might happen if Joel caught wind of it. The dead of winter, off on her own, truly there wasn’t a more stupid decision she could have come up with. No matter how good a person was, there was no way in hell she could fight off a wave of those monsters on her own. Why he’d mounted up, chased after her before anyone else could, and now, finally face to face, tried to talk her off the ledge to come back home.
“I know you can handle yourself, that you don’t need anyone- you’ve made that pretty clear with the way you took off and didn’t tell a soul. You know if something happened to you, there wouldn’t be a single person out here to save your ass. You’re really gonna do that to everyone? Leave without a goodbye and what, expect someone to find your shambling body out here in the snow? No way in hell, Ellie. Over my dead body.” The wind was biting, his breath visible as shook his head, “If you’re out here looking for.. Supplies or, whatever, then I’m coming with you, saving your ass so no one chews you apart when we get back. I’m not taking no for an answer-”
HER EXPRESSION SOFTENS WITH HIS WORDS. they were reasonable concerns, whether she saw things that way or not — being such a prominent presence back at jackson, it was only a matter of time before someone caught wind that she was GONE. though the chances of one finding her SHAMBLING CORPSE out in the snow were non-existent ( oh how she wished she could scream the words ‘ i’m immune— i can’t get infected ’ to anyone who cared .. if just to lessen their concern over her ), she understands where he’s coming from; & though she ventured out ON HER OWN to BE ALONE ( for reasons that were unimportant now ) .. at least with both of them out from camp, it’d make the return back less of a hassle when it came to questioning where they were.
❝ look, i— ❞ A SIGH, brows furrowing temporarily. ❝ i won’t send you away if you’re gonna be .. stubborn about it, but what i’m doing out here on my own isn’t any of yours, or anyone’s, business. okay ? ❞ so don’t ask. words she wanted to speak but refrained from.
hand comes up to adjust the strap from her backpack on her shoulder, bright green eyes looking him over for a moment before she’s nodding her head towards buildings in the distance; fresh snowfall crunching beneath her feet as she walks towards them. ❝ since you’re out here now though, we might as well look for some supplies .. at least have something to show for our time out here. c’mon. ❞
cauterizing rage. the house has burned around you, and you’re the only one left standing. is it gratifying to be the survivor? fear and anger are weapons in your capable hands, used only to serve your agenda of fighting back when deemed necessary. you're a powerful person, built from the ashes of your despair and your family's mistakes. with time, you'll bloom into someone softer, like the full blossoms that grow each spring and wither away with the leaves in fall. they won't disappear if you take your eyes off of them. you're enough.
FINGERS WRING TOGETHER AS GAZE REMAINS DOWNCAST. it was a typical patrol ( her & one other ), the regular check-ins at the outposts on their route— ridding the trails of any INFECTED that may have wandered their way in during the areas vacant period from regular checks. NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. or so it had been as such up until their final stop: a splattering of dark red greeting them ‘pon the floorboards inside DUSTY & DECREPID BUILDING, a decaying corpse accompanying the stain — A NOTE LEFT BEHIND. it wasn’t unheard of ( & she’d seen it before .. time and time again ). people got bitten, it was one of the hazards of the job if they weren’t careful, and often times it was either TAKE YOURSELF OUT or let the infection spread. NOT OFTEN WOULD PEOPLE CHOOSE THE LATTER. that didn’t make seeing the outcome of events any easier, however; & especially not when it was one of jackson’s own, whether she knew them well or not.
A ROUGH DAY .. yeah, that was certainly a way to put it. question is heard loud & clear; a nod accompanying a quiet hum in a show of acknowledgement as gaze fails to meet HIS.
❝ —you remember those two girls who went missing a few months back ? they went out on a patrol and never made it back ? ❞ a pause, though she doesn’t wait for any sort of response. ❝ well i found one of them .. at one of the old outposts. she and her partner got swarmed by a pack on the trails, and she managed to get away, but .. she got bit, and. well. ❞ A SIGH, brows knitting together. ❝ i’m assuming her friend didn’t make it and she didn’t wanna end up with the same fate. ❞
“ why you should do that is something you should figure out for yourself. “
“ i don’t need to stay in a place like this. “
“ if you stay in a place like this, you might not be able to connect. “
“ what’s it like when you die? “
“ ____, i walked home with you just once. do you remember? “
“ do you understand? it’s okay if you can’t right now. you will all understand soon. everyone will. “
“ god is here. “
“ you know, ____, in this world, whether it’s here in the real world or the wired, people connect to each other and that’s how societies function. “
“ i don’t come here because i want to. “
“ everyone is connected. “
“ why are you making me do this?! what right do you have?! “
“ you are not alone. “
“ there was no reason for me to stay in the real world any longer. “
“ in the real world, it didn’t matter if i was there or not. when i realized that, i was no longer afraid of losing my body. “
“ i love kissing. just kissing is enough to make me happy. “
“ dying feels so good! “
“ i just want to do business. what do you say? “
“ humans are all alone. they don’t connect to anyone at all. “
“ you prefer a machine to your friends, huh? “
“ i can’t go where you are. “
“ don’t worry. i’m still me. “
“ if you can hear it, it is speaking to you. “
“ mankind is a creature that no longer evolves, is it not? “
“ not knowing what it is that drives them, they keep their bodies merely to satisfy the desires of the flesh. they’re worthless, don’t you think? that’s all mankind is. “
“ i am god. “
“ there is nothing that you don’t know. i can’t tell you a story that doesn’t exist. you understand, don’t you? “
“ for every event, there is first a prophecy. an event first comes into existence when there is a prophecy. “
“ the other side is crowded. the dead will have no place to go. “
“ the prophecy is being fulfilled, ____. “
“ the body exists only to verify one’s own existence. “
“ i think i may have talked with god. “
“ if people can connect to one another, even the smallest voice will grow loud. “
“ it’s just a little strange. i don’t have many friends. “
“ you’re more noise than signal. “
“ i want to relax here until my body rots. “
“ time passes so beautifully here. and quietly, as if it’ll last forever. “
“ i don’t know what you plan to do here or what sort of being you’re trying to become, but you’re powerful. incredibly powerful. “
“ if there really is a god here, you’re a blessed child. “
“ i’ll tell you, but it’s just between you and me. “
“ i can exist anywhere. no matter where my body is, i can send my consciousness anywhere i want. “
“ the real world isn’t real at all. “
“ i… i don’t want to be here. you understand that, don’t you? “
“ my name… it’s meaningless to know my real name. “
“ you are what’s dangerous. “
“ do you want to be hurt, too? do you want your heart to feel like it’s being scraped with a rasp? “
“ you’re looking for me, aren’t you? “
“ so god makes his grand entrance, huh? “
“ how do you define ‘god’? if it’s the creator of the world, that’s not me. the all-powerful ruler of the world? you give god too much credit. “
“ you are merely a hologram of that other you. you are just a body. “
“ who are you? you’re not me. i’ll never do what you do. “
“ stop it! why are you acting like the part of me that i hate? “
“ wherever anyone is, wherever they go, you have always been there. “
“ you’ve watched what they didn’t want others to see. you’ve told everyone about it, that’s all. it was the right thing to do.
“ everything you say is a lie. “
“ as along as i’m aware of myself, my true self is inside me! “
“ you were born with that kind of power. “
“ i… i’m me, right? there’s no other me but me, right? “
“ if you want to be free of suffering, you should believe in god. “
“ how could i turn something that did happen into something that didn’t? “
“ i don’t know you. but you know me… “
“ the flow of information doesn’t always go both ways. “
“ the truth has power because it’s the truth. and because it’s the truth, that makes it just. “
“ there is only one truth: god. “
“ you’re dead, aren’t you? a dead human. “
“ to die is merely to abandon the flesh. “
“ love certainly is a strange emotion, isn’t it? “
“ it’s because of me that you can stay yourself. “
“ you never had a body to begin with. “
“ don’t talk about me like i’m a machine. “
“ there’s nothing easy about dying. “
“ i had no idea the world was this simple. “
“ people only have substance within the memories of others. “
“ why did you leave only me? why did you only leave my memories alone? “
“ you were my friend, even without connecting with me, ____. you’re my only friend, ____. “
“ it doesn’t matter which is real, this side or the other. “
“ you and everyone else, ____, you’re just applications. “
“ your body’s cold, but you’re alive, ____. “
“ it doesn’t matter. with no body, you can’t understand. “
“ you’re just an acting god, standing in for someone. “
“ i mess up everything i try to do for you, huh, ____? “
“ if you don’t remember something, it never happened. if you aren’t remembered, you never existed. “
“ no one is dying, and no one is being hurt. and no one hates you. “
“ the human world creates and prays to its various gods, and humans convince themselves, ‘this is how the world is.’ “
“ it’d be so much easier if you became god. i think it’d be a lot easier than being a human. you wouldn’t have to do anything. just stand there and watch. “