SylvanianFamilky @sylvanianfamilky - Tumblr Blog

I am trying to lose weight in the healthiest possible way for me. I am diagnosed with an 3d, recovered, but here I am anyway 😞. Please be kind, I genuinely just want to feel better with myself in the healthiest way possible. Basically this is more like a venting and damage control blog.

It's official, I have no friends.

#🐛hungrycaterpillar

prettieinpink

wanted to post this on it's own because i spent so much time on it...

sylvanianfamilky

Plus knlowledge

livelaughlaney

discipline goes a long way

I don't feel so good in my relationship with my boyfriend lately and my boyfriend just keeps acting as if nothing is going on. He knows about every problem we've had and how it made me feel, but he's acting like nothing happened or as if we don't have to work on my trust towards him.

#jiraiblr #landmine

I am so dumb. My boyfriend is getting annoyed by me. He doesn't want to tell me, but it's pretty obvious. He told me to stop talking so much at dinner or when we go out to eat. That he finds it weird and I should focus more on the food. I asked if I could eat dinner with him at his house and in the middle he told me "ou, now I have to drive you home. I can't be bothered to drive you.". The other day we went to visit a city. It was really hot and I started getting dizzy and nauseous and he seemed annoyed by me asking if we could sit and drink something.

I want to hide and just shut up. I don't want to be noisy again or excited or too much. I just don't have the energy for it. I feel sad and numb and just don't feel like being around people. I just want to be myself when I am with myself alone.

#landmine jirai #jiraiblogging #wl #🐛hungrycaterpillar #⭐️ve #jiraiblr #landmine #jirai girl

I am pathetic. My boyfriend saw my self harm scars. Now he sure thinks I am a pathetic childish depressed girl that seeks attention. Also I talk too much. I hate. I should just stop talking. Just answer with the bare minimum. Maybe they would like me more and stop looking and acting so fucking weird. I am weird. I hate it. Everyone can see how weird and pathetic I am.

#jiraiblr #landmine #landmine jirai #jirai

Today my mum told me to shut up and to "not be so excited" on a lunch because I was talking too much. Then I went to dinner with my boyfriend and he told me I should try to focus more on the food and not so much on the conversation because I am being too slow.

I feel so pathetic. I should shut up. Why do I talk??? I should just shut up. No one wants to hear me talk. I am annoying and people enjoy my company more when I don't talk.

#jiraiblr #landmine #landmine jirai #jirai #jirai girl

I have to shut the fuck up

Okay time to clock in!!

Goals:

Be a permanent employee at my job.

Have an art career

Get skinny

save money

decor my apartment

have clear skin

get better at english

learn russian

learn italian

I'm afraid my boyfriend is getting tired if me. Idk why. Well, maybe because lately I am a sad mess. We went to the beach and I was paranoid and sad that someone I know could see my scars. That's so pathetic. What am I? A teen looking for attention?? I feel so childish and with no power. I feel ugly fat and childish. I am no longer funny, and I don't feel smart, or successful. I am just a pathetic mess.

Mt psychiatrist changed my medication for a harder antidepressant. Let's see how it works.

I think I will be alone this summer too