Carencia de Dharma @systemthehumans4 - Tumblr Blog

hello.

My previous blog used to be nihil999993, I don't know why they deleted it, I hope it doesn't happen with this one, even though I think it's inevitable.

This is a blog SH and I want to share things I like. If something on this blog bothers you please don't report it, just block it or ignore it since this is my only safe place to be myself and share things I like. without more to say welcome

warning sensitive content!!!!!

Please stop, it's not just a bad moment anymore, it's a fucking hell I inhabit, just a little more and more and more and more and the blades await even though I never will.Brother gets high to the extreme for a glove in karma, sharing the same path in different directions but at the same time with almost the same reaction, mother cries uncontrollably, silencing everything she could never let out, and maybe that's how she'll die, and that will weigh a ton more, please just stop.I don't need it anymore, the noose around my neck, the extreme dreams where I inhabit, the winged cement of hell I call home, more and more intertwined lights and roses and strange glances every day.I miss you more than I want to admit.I never felt like myself anywhere, so I submerged myself in nothingness.Those voices of certain strangers are no more, that old man told me not to go there, and I think I'm disobeying him on the path to Eden.It is said that the strangest worms await that empty bottle amidst sweet acid.Those owl eyes, that one who was Alice, the other, Eulyses, and who was never Francisco, and those strangers who never spoke of anything but surface in the extreme concrete of existence.Always out of place in this plane and world, why does it never belong anywhere? What the hell did I do with my fucking life? I was raped, I can't multiply, I bleed liters every day, I want to kill myself. I was never myself. Please leave me alone. I don't understand shit about what I'm doing. Please, Mother, hug me. I want to be a child again, but I was violated beyond measure.I don't try anymore. I don't feel anything. I don't even feel like eating or talking to anyone because I have nothing to offer the world.I live in Latin America. Please, if you see this, help me.I have a bed, food, and I study. But I barely remember or process information. I sleep, I eat enough, and I'm still tired.I've heard so many stories here and I'm back after years and I don't know what to do to improve my environment or myself.

#depressing shit #depressiv #please help #pls help

I used to browse here a while ago. During the worst period of my life, it seems I have severe depression, and a few other things. I'm back here after about two years, and I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe it's a reminder of something familiar, of how Tumblr helped me find a supportive online community.

I'm 21, a guy, and a survivor of abuse.

I'm coming back here because I don't know what else I could do. The reality of how I grew up and what's out there is terrifying.

Almost everything disgusts me: food, physical contact, talking to people, etc.

I'm a former addict, and I haven't used for a few months. Is there anyone here who has gone through the same thing? If so, what have you been able to do to reintegrate into society? I've tried many things: eating, talking to friends. I cry a lot and feel extremely tired despite eating and sleeping. The healthcare system in my country is overwhelmed.

I remember a lot of things, and I've even become extremely dissociated these past few days.

I don't even remember what happens in seconds.

I make art and write very strange poetry.

I just want to stay alive, I don't know how. From so much dissociation and depersonalization, I've even forgotten how to multiply and subtract. I can barely process information and understand the words people say to me.

I see many people moving forward despite everything, and I'm still stuck in the same place, and I don't know how to get out of this.

Deep down, I just want to die, but I think about my family and myself, and I try to do it. My head hurts terribly every day.

Someone help me.

I know only I can save myself, but I don't know who I am beyond the miserable life I built and that I'm stuck living.