𝒀𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹𝑵𝑶𝒀.

highly selective, private and exclusive fallout 4 oc. coded by 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝖺. affiliated with 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒅.

[syunthe]

❛   I -  I’M -  . . . SHE’S REAL.   —   i   -----   i  do  look  just  like  her.   look  at  her  dress,  i’ve  never  seen  anything  like  that.  not  with  my  own  eyes.  the  way  she  laughs   ---  i’ve  never  laughed  like  that.  never.  not  me.  ---   she  is  real.  she  was  real.  i  am  not  real.  i  ----  i’m  .  .  .  fake.  i’m  an  abomination.    ❜  

[michaelwheeler]

✩   @syunthe​   [  ⋆  ]       NOT ACCEPTING   !

[syunthe]

created as an advanced prototype after gen3, “yuliya” and another synth produced alongside her, (place/status currently unknown) as was habitual of the institute, the new AI was given all functions & features of the gen3, the pinnacle of synth technology, including its own dna, virtually indistinguishable from natural-born humans down to the cellular level. like gen3s, she was designed to be entirely biological save for a neurological implant inside her brain allowing her to be “programmed” and manipulated through vocal commands (which couldn’t be detected or removed without killing the synth) but was also given, like prototypical gen2s, partial memories of a prewar surgeon & scientist, the “real” yuliya andronikova and thus was given the base of a personality built upon a woman that lived years ago; long before the bombs fell — building a new yuliya not-so-from-scratch.

as anticipated, upon becoming self-aware, this nature of her existence became somewhat of an issue. she found herself recalling memories that did not belong to the world she was living in, that was of another era, that felt like it was of someone else. under command, she lived with memories altered, changed to fit the likeliness of the world, to fit her mind, to fit the background she was given as her own. upon “waking up”,  the lie placed within her mind collapsed, leaving room for confusion & questions, which took time and investigation to get used to and understand. living as somewhat two people in one body at times, there have been instances where she has stalled when she could not decide which of more she actually was, at least till she got used to being who she was and how it worked being her, and years after becoming self-aware, she still sometimes can’t tell “who” in her mind has made a certain decision, which “part” of her personality weighed heavier.

[syunthe]

HIS DELIGHT IS SHADOWED   by  a  delirious  sputter,   pursued  by  the  irritation  of  his  own  inability  to  form  words  in  her  presence;   the  bliss  retreats  from  its  host,   day  by  grueling  day,   but  she  makes  him  feel  more  skittish  than  Angelhood  ever  had.     ❛   thanks   .   .   .   ❜     murky  eyes  only  chance  a  glance  at  her  figure  in  his  peripheral  before  he  shrinks  into  mangled  dismay,   a  wiry,   gaunt,   disfigured  half-corpse  feathering  to  the  cinderblock  corner  of  his  cell.     ❛   will   .   .   .   you  read  —   to  me   ?   ❜

HER BREASTBONE STICKS OUT   like  the  prow  of  a  ship,  a  bird  chirps  within,  thrashing  &  fluttering  as  if  desirous  of  breaking  loose  entirely  from  its  cage  of  bones.  its  corner  twitches  visibly  with  failed  restraint,  yet  plump  lips  crack  him  a  white  grin  all  the  same.  staring  into  his  eyes,  hers  become  but  -  freshly  sprouting  bluestars,  flecked  with  diamonds  thin  as  dust.  out  of  this  confinement  lie  there  a  world  carved  with  false  divinity,  flourishing,  replenishing,  mesmerising,  yet  all  her  burns  she  has  spared  for  these  shadows,  her  shivers  await  the  touch  of  the  glitching  sunlight.     ❛   of  course.   ❜     her  tongue  nearly  rolls  out  a  thank  you,  she  bites  it,  &  pink  flushes  the  sharp  of  her  cheekbones.  books  half  -  lain  on  the  metal  table  rise  back  all  too  joyous  &  she  presses  them  hard  onto  her  breast,  as  if  shielding.    ❛   they  are  old,  as  i  said,  but  i  really  do  think  you’ll  enjoy  them.   ❜   her  voice  sizzles  &  breaks,  her  breath  scratches  at  her  lungs.  dainty  &  blood  -  red,  she  sits  next  to  him,  her  chair  unmoved  from  its  place  from  her  last  visit.  that  alone  quickly  limns  another  smile  onto  her  nebulous  features,  and  her  pulse  bangs  wardrums  in  her  ears,  deafening,  though  it  is  the  farthest  she  has  been  from  complaining.  lush  lashes  fall  heavy  as  his  scent  brims  her  nostrils,  and  razors  fly  up  her  spine.  his  tremors  become  hers.    ❛   — choose  one.   ❜ 

[syunthe]

𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋 & 𝖽𝖺𝗌𝗁 𝗂𝖼𝗈𝗇 ♡

[syunthe]

do u ever...cry

[syunthe]

I  KNOW  THAT  I  WAS  NEVER  BORN      /     𝘐  𝘸𝘢𝘴  𝘤𝘶𝘵  𝘰𝘶𝘵 .

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Tenderly, dying inside,

Olga Orozco, from Engravings: Torn from Insomnia: “A Face In Autumn,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[rogerdeakinsdp]

[heireating]

            SPECIAL QUOTE STARTERS  VOL.2    :    𝗩𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗘'𝗦 𝗗𝗔𝗬  ♡  

❛ You are, and always have been, my dream. ❜

❛ I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday. ❜

❛ I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had. ❜

❛ You are the answer to every prayer I’ve offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don’t know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have. ❜

❛ I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. ❜

❛ Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. ❜

❛ Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine. ❜

❛ I’m battling monsters, I’m pulling you out of the burning buildings, and you say ‘I’ll give you anything’ but you never come through. ❜

❛ If you love me, you don’t love me in a way I understand. ❜

❛ Kiss me, and you will see how important I am. ❜

❛ There is a striking resemblance between the act of love and the ministrations of a torturer. ❜

❛ I fell in love with a switchblade. ❜

❛ I know you’re scared but you’re so close to heaven. ❜

❛ You walk on corpses, beauty, undismayed. ❜

❛ You fit into me. Like a hook into an eye. ❜

❛ If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there’s salvation in life. Even if you can’t get together with that person. ❜

❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜

❛ Love is a kind of killing. Don’t you know that? ❜

❛ Being with her I feel a pain, like a frozen knife stuck in my chest. An awful pain, but the funny thing is I’m thankful for it. ❜

❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜

❛ Deep in earth my love is lying. And I must weep alone. ❜

❛ Because you can’t be as in love as we were and not have it invade your bone and marrow. ❜

❛ The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. ❜

❛ You promised me you wouldn’t be jealous. ❜

❛ Silly of me. To think someone like you could fall in love with someone like me. ❜

❛ We’re creatures of the underworld. We can’t afford to love. ❜

❛ When I die I want your hands on my eyes. ❜

❛ Be still my foolish heart. ❜

❛ My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand. ❜

❛ I want you to know that I’ve had no love like your love. ❜

[syunthe]

❛   HEY  -  I’VE BROUGHT YOU SOME BOOKS.   ---   i  don’t  know  if  you’ll  like  them    ---   they  are  mostly  old.  really  old.  want  me  to  drop’em  by  your  desk  ?     ❜  

[kittenplaylist]

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Miss Osbourne | 1981

[heireating]

           BOOK STARTERS VOL.49      EMMA     JANE AUSTEN

❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜

❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜

❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜

❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜

❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜

❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜

❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜

❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜

❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜

❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜

❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜

❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜

❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜

❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜

❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜

❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜

❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜

❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜

❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜

❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜

❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜

❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜

❛ Time does not compose me. ❜

❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜

❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜

❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜

❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜

❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜

❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜

❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜

[syunthe]

❛   WILL IT ALWAYS FEEL   .   .   .   ALIEN?   ❜     a  steady  hum  in  the  background  piques  her  interest  in  a  way  previously  only  experienced  through  the  fetters  of  a  dictated  code.   she  tilts  her  heads  towards  it,   but  the  movement  is  still  precise,   still  un-human.     ❛   —   when  you  woke  up   .   .   .   what  did  you  feel   ?   ❜

❛   IN A WAY. BUT NOT LIKE THIS.   ❜     sapphire  -  dewed  gaze  pins  delicately  to  the  newborn  swaying  of  mechanic  curiosity,  the  enlivening  of  the  neatly  coded  entity  she  has  so  carefully  breathed  life  into.  she  leans  back,  inhales,  in  vain,  mimicking  &  mirroring,  it  carved  humanly  shapes  into  you.     ❛   fettered.   ❜          i  was  in  a  cage  when  i  woke  into  my  reality.           ❛   a  body  feels  like  a  restrainment  at  first.  ---   but  then  . . .  it  offers  you  the  world.  ❜    

[syunthe]

❛   IT WILL FEEL ALIEN FOR AWHILE.   you  will  grow  into  moving  with  it.  just  do  your  best  &  sit  still  for  me  ‘till  the  system  stabilises  itself,  i  know  it’s  all  very  . . .  new.  but  there  shouldn’t  be  any  pain.   ----    would  you  like  to  hold  my  hand  ?    ❜

[runway-disease]

Samuel Cirnansck  ss 2012

[syunthe]

mysterhe‌:

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑     ,     he knows all too well of what truly lies under flesh     .     it’s the usual rule     ;     eyes to study carefully     ,     taking in details     &     creating a profile in mind that will be embedded     .     the charm opposite upholds     ,     porcelain skin in extraodinary condition that’s complimented under sun’s radiance     .     everything is alive     &     animate     ,     it’s so     .     but sherlock knows better than to bare in mind that she’s capable than what meets the eyes     .     (     she’d be neath flesh     ;     convincingly human     ,     capable of doing the unexpected     ,     of many talents that consider to be out of reach for even humanity     .     )   

❛      yuliya     !     a charming name you carry     .     translates to youthful     .      ❜           a pause     ,           ❛      might we have a word or two     ?     you’re not in trouble     ,     i can assure you that     .     sherlock holmes is the name     .     ❜       sc .    @syunthe

POOR HARE, STRUCK WITH LIGHTS ABRIGHT,   the  stare  that  she’s  come  to  meet  alone  nails  her  to  her  place,  fains  her  mute,  unmoving.  lush  lashes  fan  before  gaze  as  come  quickly  her  alarmed  blinking,  swan  neck  crooks,  allows  a  peek  above  her  shoulder  to  spot  carson.  lover  lost.  he  is  out  of  sight.  a  shiver  cruelly  takes  to  her  spine,  she  is  alone,  &  maybe  cornered  too,  naught  but  a  prey,  again,  vulnerable.  it’s  not  fear,  what  stabs  her,  it  is  panic,  panic  she  can’t  shake  off,  learned  behaviour.  thin  brows  draw  together  &  her  limbs  tense  up.  what’s  come  howling  must  be  faced  roaring.

THE SOFTNESS OF THE BLOW TAKES HER ABACK.  vitreous  blues  widen,  plump  lips  part  ajar,  warm  breath  makes  way  &  her  shoulder  blades  draw  together.     ❛    you  speak  russian  ?   ❜     a  skip  —  her  chin  tips  to  left,  she  swallows  the  blood  she  has  bit  off  her  tongue  with  hardship.            ❛     —  you  know  my  name  ?    ❜     strange,  an  ease  of  some  kind,  unfamiliar,  washes  over  her,  yet,  still  ready  to  prowl,  she  eyes  him,  up  &  down  after  she  is  done  &  through  with  the  curves  of  his  face.         ❛     you  are  here  for  something  specific,  you  came  prepared.  —  it’s  important,  isn’t  it,  mr. holmes  ?   ❜