Donāt feel like posting a link to an article, cuz I donāt wanna pick a specific source, but Billie Eilish is talking about how bad porn is, and how she wishes she never watched porn, etc. Iāve seen several articles about it today, it seems to be everywhere.
āAs a woman, I think porn is a disgraceā
The issues she talks about are mostly how itās negatively affected herself, and beauty standards, rather than the rape/abuse industry, which is a little disappointing. But I still think itāa a great thing to bring up. Itās important to call attention to things that are wrong when we see them. I donāt care for her much personally, but I know that sooooo many teenagers (and younger!) look up to her. They want to be like her. I hope they listen, and maybe start to change their minds. Sheās got millions of impressionable fans, and she can definitely make a positive impact with her admission. This could potentially be a very positive thing to come from Stan culture, for sure. I hope it does.
Teens tend to care too much about being ācoolā, and porn is unfortunately considered cool. Almost supremely cool. But I think more kids will listen to someone who they personally think is cool. If a regular teenage girl says she doesnāt like porn, people will call her boring, or a prude, or worse. But now that Billie is saying stuff like āI'm so angry that porn is so loved, and I'm so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay.ā, it will be less of an unpopular opinion to have. Or at least less taboo to bring up, because they look up to someone who is anti-porn. They have a role model. Itās sad that it would take a statement from their idol to realize that porn is bad, but if thatās what it takes, Iām glad itās happening.
Itās wonderful to see more women speaking out about this. I hope this starts a domino effect, so even more women feel comfortable airing their grievances with the entire porn industry. Itās all too common to be hit with a barrage of āWhorephobe!ā and āYou hate sex workers!ā and āPrude!!!ā, and all kinds of insults, because thatās the popular thing to say. But just like with JKR, people should listen and realize āHey, I think sheās right. I agree with her! This is a bad thing!ā
Itās also scary, because she said she said she started watching porn when she was ELEVEN. Thatās a sad indication of how the younger generation is gonna be. Kids younger than her have had nearly unlimited internet access for their entire lives. She probably has, too. I know that parents arenāt keeping tabs on everything their kids look at online. But itās good that sheās coming to this realization now, because sheās still very young, and also has a very young following. Plus, some people just never get there. They deny the harm that porn causes until theyāre blue in the face, and delude themselves into thinking that itās a healthy/normal part of a personās sex life.
I know how she feels. I used to watch porn, too. I thought it was just expected. It was normal. Iām also angry at myself for thinking it was okay. But thatās all I was exposed to. āEveryone does itā¦ā Now, itās like āHow could I ever do that? Why did I enjoy it? Why was that a thing I did? Why did everyone act like it was normal?ā I acted like it was normal, because everyone else did. I feel like thatās a very common experience for women, but Iām not positive. Iām still ashamed of my own porn use from before I knew better.
If youāre struggling with a porn addiction, please try to quit, and keep trying until you donāt have any desire anymore. It will happen if you know the reality. Donāt give up. I promise, itās so much better without porn. Everything is. Itās hard at first, but then itās a major shift. It gets easier to have an orgasm, you have a better ability to create healthy fantasies (or healthy intimacy, if youāre not single) and overall respect yourself more when you quit. You respect other women more, too. Mentally, I feel infinitely better than I did when I was a porn viewer.
Just knowing what really happens in those videos should be enough reason to quit, but there are also actual legitimate personal benefits to not viewing porn, as well, which are what Billie referred to. Sometimes people relapse, so reminding them of the personal benefits of quitting porn can be helpful. But we shouldnāt ignore the fact that the biggest problem is whatās happening on āsetā, not whatās happening when we fuck up our own libido/mental state by watching it.
Itās better for everyone to not watch it. Itās something Iām ashamed of doing in the past, but I try not to punish myself too much, because itās the status quo. That does not make it okay, or mean we shouldnāt challenge it. Itās the same old saying, if your friend jumped off a bridge, would you do it too? Just to be cool? To fit in? No. So viewing porn is what everyone supposedly does, but that doesnāt mean itās the right thing to do, or a good thing to do. We just need more people speaking out and saying that watching porn is bad, and it wonāt be so controversial to say anymore. Then, maybe people will actually take action. But thatās only a far-off hope.
Thanks for standing up, Billie. In this day and age, where anyone who criticizes anything remotely related to sex is immediately vilified, I think it took guts to say that. Itās an incredibly unpopular opinion from an incredibly popular young woman. This could potentially change things. I canāt wait to see if more of her contemporaries speak up to agree with her. I hope theyāre also brave.