If you love me then read this, please. Aka a love confession to my best friend.
Believe me I’ve tried many times to tell you how I feel about you. But I certainly can’t. This is because when I’m with you I get completely speechless, and right after I start stammering. So I decided to drink a cup of tea in this rainy afternoon and listen to ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis to write this.
DISCLAIMER: If you can read this while listening to that song, I’d really thank you. I know it’s not ‘fourth of July’ but it’s such a beautiful song.
So as I can’t say this face to face and I’ve got the necessity to tell you the truth so, here it goes: You’re more than a friend to me, and I think I’m falling in love with you.
At the beginning I concealed and denied my feelings because I was afraid and confused. I never expected myself to fall in love with you after six years of friendship, because I always considered myself as a heterosexual woman. At that moment I couldn’t figure out what was happening with me. To tell the truth it took me a while to find out what was going on with me was love, and it took me so many months that I came up too late. By when I decided to tell my feelings you had a new crush. Since then I’ve tried to tell you but no words have come out of my mind when we were face to face. The only I could spit out is that I like girls too, but I hadn’t the guts to say that you really matter to me.
The worst is I committed the most terrible mistake: I had an affair with a guy who only used me. It’s not I liked him, though as I couldn’t really show up how I felt about you, I gave him a chance and at the same time used him as an excuse to avoid the fact I liked you. Obviously, it ended up really bad and of course that worsened everything, because I didn’t look after you as I should have in the moment you needed me the most.
So my only hope now is you to read this post and know the truth that a) I’ve got a crush on you baby ;) b) I believe I’m falling in love with you.
Trust me, I’m not attempting to turn this letter into romantic stuff, but it’s impossible to me to not describe what happens in my head when I see you. It’s like I’m in heaven and a complete peace has suddenly surrounded me. To add up when I’m with you it’s like all my problems and worries pop out because what really matters to me in that moment it’s you. Right now I try to avoid smiling when I think about you, but I can’t. –Sorry– But how couldn’t I do it if the person whom I love is so wonderful? You’re hilarious, at such point that you can turn a funeral into a party, and so talented that there’s nobody who don’t admire you in this damned world, and this is because everything you touch is art, even with hair! And also you own that incredible talent to turn dangerous nights into happiness. I even love how you play ukulele, specially ‘Sea of Love’. Practically, you have no idea how lovely you are from my view.
Though the thing is life is a whimsical bitch with me and every time I really fall in love with someone that person has a crush on somebody else, who doesn’t even deserve their love, and then I stay in the same place with my broken heart and holding the scattered pieces, while they’re happy in their love nest.
And I clearly understand I’m not that cool or funny. I’m not a cool guy that plays League of Legends and makes you laugh, and certainly can’t compete with that. I’m just a stupid boring girl who reads romantic interest human stories –such as ‘The fault in our stars’ and only interrupts you with my stupid questions like ‘are you okay?’ ‘How was your day?’ And it’s impossible to me not to ask you this, because I really care about you, at the point of even rebuking you when you do things you ought not to, like smoking. –Incredibly I got used to the fact you smoke, that now I barely say nothing-.
Just one thing until this letter ends. Don’t misunderstand me darling I’m not writing down this only because my only yearn is you to come upon and love me back. Needless to say that’s not going to happen: I clearly know you don’t love me, and I don’t blame you. I committed mistakes in the past, for instance not saying that I loved you months ago. But as I can’t say this face to face the best this writer is allowed to do is write my feelings about you in the best way I know: In English.
All things considered, I’ve got nothing more to say, so the best I can do now is leave. I hope you don’t hate me or feel disappointed of me because of my words, but I really had the necessity to show you how special are you to me, and how much I cherish you, because it was a torture to have these feelings burning inside me.
P.S.: Now that you know this Fely, I certainly don’t know how the hell I’m going to do to stare at your face. Probably I’m going to hide below my bed and pray you don’t see the link of this post on facebook, though in my inner thoughts my only wish is you to read my confession letter.
romaincrisis
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