#!dare

[stealfortheneedy-archive]

Lines from JD Robb's "IN DEATH" series that always make me laugh

If somebody’s a witch, why do they put up with cold tits?

I’m a bitch, and twenty-four hours ago, my tits were plenty warm.

Dolls are like small dead people. I have enough dead people, thanks.

Does the penis ever just think, "For God's sake pal, give it a rest?" Or is it all, "Woo-who!! Here we go again!"

We'll think fondly of you over beer, me and my penis.

______ apologized to me. Something must be done.

Didn't people consider what could happen if armies of farm animals united in revolt?

Drop the fucking weapon, you fucking motherfucker or I'll fucking scramble your fucking brains.

Sometimes I wonder if you want me only for my coffee.

You know, I'm only marrying you for sex and food.

Why would I kill someone I don't know, when I know so many people who irritate me, and haven't killed any of them?

He called me a twat. How come you get to be a bitch, but I only get to be a twat?

I'm a barrel of monkeys, kid, though mostly I figure monkeys stuck in a barrel are just going to be pissed off.

I see no reason for the existence of oatmeal, particularly in cookies.

If you ended up naked and dead with _____, I'd do the rumba on your corpse.

A bachelor's party is not a Viking invasion.

You've been drugged, slapped, tied up naked, and nearly killed, but a rose on your butt humiliates you?

I'd rather lie bare-assed naked on the sidewalk and be trampled by tourists from South Dakota than be an accountant.

I hate patience. Slows everything down.

What kind of a maniac needed over five thousand plates?

How do you walk with that stick up your ass? Does it hurt, or does it give you a nice little rush?

If God's going to make little weasels like _____, she's going to have to listen to complaints.

The worst, the very worst requirement of friendship, was sitting through an entire evening of childbirth classes.

If somebody doesn't call me a bitch once a day, I figure I'm not doing my job.

That’s a ‘Fuck Me’ car and you know it.

I don't believe I've ever seen your butt move quite that way.

If you tell me I'm sensible in addition to normal and wise, I'm going to punch you in the stomach.

Why do they call it rush hour when it lasts days and nobody can rush anywhere?

You know how I love being referred to as your fancy piece.

Sometimes you're my love muffin.

[stealfortheneedy-archive]

Starters from a few of my favorite books pt. 2

Can be interpreted as fluffy, angsty, NSFW-ish, jealousy/possessive, violent, etc. [ pt. 1 here ]

' Your crazy makes my crazy makes sense. '

' I can't decide if I want to fuck you, strangle you, or just hold you in my arms. '

' If you'd run back to ______, I would've come after you again. '

' Are we… spooning? '

' The first night we met was like being hit by a tornado all over again. '

' I was so happy I was terrified. '

' When I walked in on you naked you gave me attitude… '

' "Near death"? When were you "near death"? '

' Don't ever be afraid to say anything to me. '

' You're awful pretty when you're domestic. '

' I've never pretended I wanted anything less. '

' Jesus C, _____, for the last time would you freaking knock! '

' We’re not leaving this kitchen until you admit you love me. '

' I like who I am with you, and I don't want to go back to who I was before. '

' I'm only strong when you're beside me. '

' I didn't get to choose whether or not I wanted my life this way… '

' I can't stand the way you're looking at me. '

' You're the one who kept pushing your way in. '

' I've committed every part of you to memory, did you know that? '

' Hell, _____, all I did was kiss you. '

' I am constantly confused by you. '

' Does this look like a good time to tell me that, you damn stupid boy? '

' You told me you don't get jealous. '

' I’m making a list of things that make you agreeable. '

' You know I would never do to you what was done to me. '

' In hindsight, I realize that I didn't help the situation. '

' Shit happens, ______, there’s no protecting against it. '

' You're everything I wanted, and pretended not to. '

' Even when I didn’t like you very much, I loved you completely. '

' I’ll allow you to emotionally manipulate me with it for a week. '

[stealfortheneedy-archive]

Starters from a few of my favorite books

Can be interpreted as fluffy, angsty, NSFW-ish, jealousy/possessiveness, violence, etc.

‘ You obviously have an ego as swollen as a horse’s rigid dick. ‘

‘ Maybe one day you will learn that it is not a fault to care. ‘

‘ Can we stop talking about inconsequential crap and just order the food, please? ‘

‘ Sometimes people have roots so corrupted, they shouldn’t try to plant them. ‘

‘ _____ pisses me off so I won’t panic. ‘

‘ You can count on me. And you’re damn well going to. ‘

‘ I know what I’ve got, and I’m damned if I let you run. ‘

‘ You’re what was missing. Not anymore. ‘

‘ Who are we here to kill? Should I be worried that it’s me? ‘

‘ I didn’t really want you dead. ‘

‘ Just let me go get my gun so you can shoot me again. ‘

‘ And in case you’re wondering, I’m glad I killed _____. ‘

‘ You’re crying because you’re angry? ‘

‘ You and me, we aren’t practice for the real thing. ‘

‘ We haven’t even slept together and already you don’t trust me. ‘

‘ I can probably protect you from ______, I likely can’t protect you from yourself. '

‘ You’re not hungry? Are you feeling okay? ‘

‘ You fucked up, but don’t worry you’ll do that a lot. ‘

‘ Why the hell did you brush me off like that? ‘

‘ Why exactly do you think you’re entitled to be pissed at me? ‘

‘ You’re not going to get me, _____. ‘

‘ Tell me you don’t feel what we do to each other. ‘

‘ When the job’s done, I’ll snap my fingers, and you’ll be gone. ‘

‘ Are you here because I’m a necessary part of the plan? ‘

‘ Say the magic words. ‘

[stealfortheneedy-archive]

SVRCINA lyrics starter sentences

I'm not leaving here without you now

I'll pray the rest of my life

We'll set our hearts on fire

I'm a fighter and a fool

Everybody says there's two kinds of hearts

Some make peace and some get even

I will be your lover

I wanna put my boots on and march to the front line

I'm aiming higher not to lose you

I wanna fight for love

No time for rest

Just wanna lay me down and finally try to get some sleep

Remember what we're fighting for

Meet me on the battlefield

I will be your sword and shield

We may be the first to fall

Everything can stay the same or we could change it all

We commit the sins again and our sons and daughters pay

Our tainted history, is playing on repeat

I know that I'm not dreaming

Touch you so I know that I'm not dreaming

[stealfortheneedy-archive]

VERIDIA lyrics starter sentences

Bite your tongue ‘cause I'm not listening

Try to convince me, but I'm resisting

I hear the voices say you're never gonna make it

If your arms are wrapped around me, I feel invincible

I'll overcome it all, even when the sky is falling

Can't pretend I am not affected

I shifted shape and recreated me

I don't need the world's approval

I don't ever have to be what I am not

Your passion is a fire

There is an enemy dressed as a friend

We should be building bridges instead of burning them down

I wave my white flag in this war

I'm only human; it's my disguise

We're gonna make it together

You're not welcome here

The power strong enough to save is running through our veins

I am your regret

If you're not careful I will control you

You were made for perfection, not created defective

I'll distract you

If you are undistracted for even a moment I'll lose my hold

You were not meant to be just some broken machine

I can feel, but I can't touch

I will have faith in the unseen

I'm haunted by how I'm comfortable

Feeling kind of lost again

Seems I have a lot of friends

My heart breaks when I think of how someone else is hurting worse than me

Hope is always near

We're broken melodies

I know you will never let me go

Every day was a mess

I tried to convince myself I didn't need anyone's help

You stole my locked and guarded heart

I love the way you wrecked my life

It's insanity that you could love someone like me

I'm a stranger here

This mirror likes to fib

We were meant to be perfectly imperfect

Such a beautiful mess

Am I good enough?

How about now?

Will I ever be enough?

If I change, would I find love?

Make-up, smoke eyes won't hide cries behind

[daziest]

Going about the order he was given previously, he took it upon himself to just meet up with the first three ladies he saw-- unfortunately, he didn't know all of them, and ended up stammering whenever he reached out for her wrist suddenly, already knowing he looked like a blushing mess. Bringing her hand up to his face, he gently placed a kiss to it before stepping back, looking away immediately. "Sorry.. Sorry! I had to!"

 That did not happen every day, not any more, anyway. The golden girl had already given up the ghost, that and. …whatever was left to her name. Which wasn’t much. 

She was nothing here, and to anyone. And that had reached a state of normalcy too.

So this sort of attention was um, jarring to say the least. Not unpleasant. 

 " …Seriously, what a funny boy." She flicks her wrist out as if to wring it out from the just administered gesture, and nudges his ankle with her close-toed shoe, tugs. "Are you sorry? 

You don’t sound very sorry.” She suppresses a muted giggle and reached over to play with his hair instead. "Now, I’m not mad.

Simply, why don’t you tell me who -or what’s, responsible for this type of behavior? It’s not that humid season that drives the boys in heat, I would know I think.”