Discover Top Posts Tagged with #@paddypadcake

Abe: So, what's it like being best friends with Alf?

Toby: Once, I asked him for some tea while he was mad at me, and he brought me a cup full of hot water and raw leaves and said "wait.”

Munch: Can I interest ya in a box of friend? *opens a box to reveal a Fuzzle inside*

Alf: A box of biohazard maybe.

Munch: ‘Th only hazard here is yer attitude.

Alf: I'm just laying out a little sugar to catch my Scrab.

Abe: Bolamites. Sugar catches Bolamites.

Alf: What catches Scrabs?

Munch: Ya gotta wear a Scrab trap.

Toby: No, you need those metal sticks with a grabber at the end.

Abe: I think our Mom uses those to get cereal down from her cupboard.

Munch: Why are there Scrabs in yer Mom’s cereal?

Abe: I’ve got good facts and bad facts and weird facts and fun facts and Elum facts and shaman facts. Which do you want to hear first?

Alf: Elum facts. Definitely Elum facts.

Abe: The Magog Cartel passed a tax bill that simply says “Elums” with a hand-drawn thumbs up at the bottom.

Toby: Weird facts please.

Abe: Four of the last five World Series winners have been Elums.

Munch: Bad facts...?

Abe: Not everyone has an Elum.

Toby: Dying sucks butt! How do you guys cope with mortality?

Abe: Violent outbursts.

Alf: General sluttiness.

Munch: Thanks to denial, I’m immortal!

Alf @ Munch: Oh, you’re playing Minecraft! I like your cut, g.

Alf: *smacks the back of Munch’s head hard enough to forcibly convert him into a jpeg*

Munch: AAAA—

Molluck: I brought you here to this execution chamber personally because I crave the deadliest game.

Abe, nodding: Knife Monopoly.

Molluck:

Molluck: I was actually going to hunt you for sport, but now I’m really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is.

Alf: So you saw me eat that Hot Pocket I found in trash?

Abe: Yep.

Alf: Any thoughts or feelings on that?

Abe: Nope.

Alf: Oh, man. I like you.

#@paddypadcake