masterlist ⁞⁞ bold is 18+/nsfw ; posts are otherwise tagged
↳ tate langdon ; phantom gunmetal ⸝⸝ constellate ⸝⸝ leavings ⸝⸝ bitten ⸝⸝ praise ⸝⸝ use once and destroy ⸝⸝ overstimulation ⸝⸝ near shore
↳ kit walker ; holy rider ⸝⸝ virgin white ⸝⸝ daybreak ⸝⸝ atonement ⸝⸝ spring to come ⸝⸝ blessings (i just wanna love you) ⸝⸝ cloudburst ⸝⸝ doves ⸝⸝ morning after/night before ⸝⸝ baby, baby ⸝⸝ a purifying love ⸝⸝ lay all your love on me ⸝⸝ lunchbreak ⸝⸝ car sex
↳ kyle spencer ; similarities ⸝⸝ myths ⸝⸝ hold me without hurting me ⸝⸝ calculations ⸝⸝ show me love ⸝⸝ ragdolls
↳ jimmy darling ; caretaking
↳ james p. march ; centennial ⸝⸝ halo full of fire (i'm rising up)
↳ kai anderson ; martyr me pt. 1 ⸝⸝ pt. 2 ⸝⸝ lead me to war / false prophet
↳ colin zabel ; swing ⸝⸝ nights / mornings ⸝⸝ period hcs ⸝⸝ nightmare ⸝⸝ mistletoe ⸝⸝ baby ⸝⸝ better with you ⸝⸝ say it like this ⸝⸝ by firelight ⸝⸝ honey ⸝⸝ what i want ⸝⸝ close to me ⸝⸝ hand me downs ⸝⸝ just a little while, babe ⸝⸝ blue seasons ⸝⸝ playground talk ⸝⸝ flutter ⸝⸝ after hours ⸝⸝ incandescent ⸝⸝ miles away ⸝⸝ sunrise ⸝⸝ anamnesis ⸝⸝ [ event - cosmo's 15 ways ]
↳ julian dillinger ; sextape ⸝⸝ necklace ⸝⸝ scold ⸝⸝ ecstasy ⸝⸝ montblanc ⸝⸝ executive ⸝⸝ dynastic ⸝⸝ guests ⸝⸝ floors ⸝⸝ heir ⸝⸝ convergence ⸝⸝ paramount ⸝⸝ you get me so high [+ warren]
↳ warren lipka ; flamingo ⸝⸝ you get me so high [+ julian] ⸝⸝ prince
↳ peter maximoff ; mr. & mrs. ⸝⸝ reflexes ⸝⸝ ready, set, go! ⸝⸝ restless ⸝⸝ condom ⸝⸝ pocketed ⸝⸝ climb in bed with heaven ⸝⸝ game on!
↳ cooper madsen ; casual ⸝⸝ oral sex ⸝⸝ up & down ⸝⸝ get even
Bestie hehe whose pullout game is worst and whose is best out of the characters Evan plays???
the evans + their pullout game !
ft. tate langdon ‧ kit walker ‧ kyle spencer ‧ jimmy darling ‧ james patrick march ‧ kai anderson ‧ peter maximoff ‧ colin zabel — nsfw ; MDNI 18+
a/n: hey bestie i love your mind
TATE LANGDON . (3/10)
his intentions are good. his execution? terrible. pull-out game is WEAK purely due to incompetence.
“fuck—wait, wait.. shit, i was supposed to-”
feels guilty as hell afterward. “you don’t think i did it on purpose, right? you believe me, don’t you?”
KIT WALKER . (2/10)
kit TRIES to be responsible. really, he does. but he’s also a man who fucks deep and loves even deeper.
a very passionate lover and in the heat of the moment, he forgets everything else.
honestly, he doesn’t even try that hard.
if you reminded him, he’d listen. but if you didn’t? yeah, he’s finishing inside.
if you got pregnant, he’d step up immediately. pullout game is terrible but he’s a great dad.
pre death .ᐟ KYLE SPENCER . (10/10)
doesn’t take risks; he’s got a good head on his shoulders.
his timing and self control are actually great. the pull-out game is strong with this one.
even before he met you, kyle doesn’t sleep around like most of his frat brothers, even though he totally could.
JIMMY DARLING . (6/10)
jimmy knows he can’t afford to be reckless. he’s working in a freak show—not exactly the best place to raise a kid.
he also worries about passing on his ectrodactyly. even though you tell him constantly that it doesn’t matter.
most of the time, he cums on your tits or ass.
but when he’s drunk, he’s super impulsive, emotional. all self control flies out the window.
if you got knocked up, he’d have a mini breakdown and go on a two day bender but would also step up.
he will also propose immediately (after he gets his shit together)
JAMES PATRICK MARCH . (10/10)
he is nothing if not disciplined.
if james ever decided to give you an heir, that decision was made long before the act.
lowkey has reservations because of bartholomew.
⟢ cult leader .ᐟ KAI ANDERSON . (0/10)
kai never pulls out. he never intended to in the first place.
at first, he’ll act like it was an accident—for the purpose of plausible deniability. he’ll moan about how tight you are, how good you feel, and then when it happens:
“fuck—couldn’t help it. you feel too good, baby.” he’s fake guilty, kissing your shoulder, murmuring “next time i’ll pull out, promise.”
next time never came. (but he did. inside you) at some point, he just stopped pretending.
“this is how it’s supposed to be. why would i waste it anywhere but inside you?”
if you tell him you’re not ready for kids, he’ll say “women are biologically wired to want children. you’re just brainwashed by feminism.” (i hate this guy)
0/10 cos he’s actively TRYING to fail.
if you got pregnant? he’d be ecstatic.
PETER MAXIMOFF . (5/10)
thinks he has great control, but he really, really doesn’t.
he’ll pull out last second. but he cuts it close EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
sometimes he miscalculates timing.
“uh. okay, okay—don’t freak out, but I MAY have just—wait, are you on the pill?”
COLIN ZABEL . (9/10)
very responsible. colin respects boundaries and never pressures you into risky sex. always wears condoms unless you explicitly ask not to.
“you sure? ‘cause, uh, i got condoms—like, a lot. not a weird amount, just… y’know, normal.”
lowkey wants to have kids with you… but suppresses the “selfish” fantasy.
his one weakness? when he’s tipsy.
the one time you were both drunk, making out on the couch, which led to hot and sloppy sex. you felt so good and he was so lost in it, and then—
“oh, shit.”
immediate panic. full-body guilt. buys you plan b, also flowers and coffee because he feels guilty.
overall he’s very reliable, just that one slip-up.
The Evans; showering & bathing with you | headcannons
Information
Characters : Tate Langdon ★ Kit Walker ★ Kyle Spencer (frat! & franken!) ★ James Patrick March ★ Kai Anderson ★ Austin Sommers ★ Warren Lipka ★ Peter Maximoff ★ Julian Dillinger
CW : mentions of sexual content but nothing descriptive, mentions of blood, mentions of smoking & marijuana, mentions of alcohol, vague allusion to SA/CSA (Kyle)
A/N : English isn't my first language, feel free to correct any errors although this has been proofread. Feel free to suggest characters to add and I might edit them in. Excuse the bulletpoints format, I'll probably work on finding a better looking one but my ideas tend to be disorganized like this. Anyway, enjoy!
★··»—›Tate Langdon
Technically, he doesn’t exactly need to shower in his ghostly state but don’t think for a second he’ll hesitate to jump in if he’s invited
besides let’s be honest, if he wasn’t, good chance he’s watching you anyway while not being visible (perv)
you can safely assume he’s gonna be handsy, hope you’re not concerned about water usage cause you’ll be there for a while
in his defense there’s just something so damn hot to him about all that water and the bubbles gliding over your skin, he just can’t stop watching
he’s not making much effort to pretend he’ll get himself clean
in truth he just intends to make both of you dirtier
but hey, you’re already in the shower right ? might aswell
same thing applies to baths, as romantic as they be there’s a good chance he’ll get handsy, especially if there's a bunch of bubbles he can hide his hands under and have you both underwater to kiss before coming right back out
even if it’s just to relax he’ll probably be holding you in the bath (or the other way around works too since he also likes to be the little spoon in bed)
why be on opposite ends when you can just sit against each other ?
★··»—›Kit Walker
If it’s before he goes to work, it’ll be showering with the main intention of getting business done
doesn’t mean there won’t be any lingering or playful touches
but the goal is to get clean and be at work on time
after work though ? you can take your sweet time
expect the most meticulous care while he’s washing your hair, free scalp massage and all
you occasionally both get a bath on weekends, usually after the kids and get to lie there and be comfortable in each other’s presence
although he’s not against a little bit of fun in between (cue joking complaints about having to clean up spilled water)
he used to smoke in the bath too but stopped after accidentally dropping his cigarette in the bath water and panicking to get it out
★··»—›Frat!Kyle Spencer
uh oh
that’s a little tough
even if you do suggest it, he’ll probably prefer and insist on taking separate showers/baths for a while given the memories that might resurface, showers and baths specifically get pretty bad when it comes to that
he panics just from somebody knocking while he's in there already, even if it’s just you and you promise you’re not looking and just need to quickly retrieve something from the bathroom
he knows you mean absolutely no harm and he’d tell you why he’s uncomfortable with the idea once he tells you about his mom
eventually he might accept the idea of trying out showering together
even then he prefers to wash himself
he has no issue touching you (as long as you’d allow him, of course) but it’s a little more of a jumpscare if it’s the other way around
after a few times of getting more comfortable and holding each other and learning to appreciate proximity and contact under the shower, he’ll let you touch him while you remain careful about going anywhere under the belt
honestly as long as you remain patient with him and give him the time and understanding he needs (and deserves), he’ll eventually be comfortable with messing around in the shower
besides, once again, he knows you mean well
but just know that at first it’s more so about testing his boundaries and strictly getting the job done
the whole thing applies to baths too, once you’re both in the bathtub you’re probably both on opposite ends until he’s comfortable enough to be against each other
★··»—›Franken!Kyle Spencer
A lot of similarities shared with his living self
in the sense that when his brain unlocks his past he reacts terribly to having someone else around while he’s vulnerable (especially naked)
despite the fact that with his poor motor skills he really does need help and supervision
but you’re the person that he’s clinging to, so you kind of get a pass
don’t think it’ll be easy though, he still has his moments where he might thrash around as if he’s still back at his old house
just be patient and reassuring and it should go mostly well
although you might have to trust him with handling the cleaning down there because even with you he’d be difficult about having anyone near there
also know you’re not making it out unscathed (dry)
you’ll get splashed even if he doesn’t really mean to get you wet on purpose when he’s bathing
although he will think it’s pretty funny, not that you can prove he does anyway
in hindsight he might actually be a little more comfortable if you’re bathing and/or showering with him
if you’re both vulnerable it feels less imbalanced and he’ll feel less like a cornered animal
he’ll be a little hesitant and clumsy about touching you and probably wouldn’t even try unless you gave him permission or even encouragement
though it would make him feel surprisingly better if you’re both on equal footing and he’d feel less like an incompetent child
until his cognitive functions get better, it’s more so about actually cleaning him and making sure he’s comfortable than any kind of funny business
although the thought might cross his mind once or twice and he’d be a little perplexed about it (and his reaction to it)
however once it happens it might become a bit of a regular thing and he just might develop a pavlovian response to being invited to shower
★··»—›James Patrick March
technically, like Tate, it’s not like he needs to, but you’ve seen the man. He probably bathes anyway to stay pristine in his afterlife
generally speaking I feel like he’d favor baths over showers, especially given the time he comes from
not that I doubt there’d be showers at the Cortez, I mean it is a hotel still standing in the 21st century
but he just finds baths so much more inherently romantic
expect candles, bubbles, wine (or perhaps absinthe would be more fitting for him) and all that jazz while you’re both lying on opposite ends of the tub
now there’s no guarantee you’ll both stay in your spots
it’s just a little too tempting to see and touch what’s under those bubbles, can you blame him ?
another bonus about baths is that in his opinion, it allows a lot more room for positions
blood baths
he wouldn’t be against trying in the shower while standing but that’s not really optimal on the long run and doesn’t allow much creative positions
so the bath it is for any category
he’ll insist on washing you, especially if you stretch out your legs or arms towards him and he’s just so sensual about it because to him, you’re like the most divine thing he’s ever seen in his whole (after)life
but as much as he loves it, he makes sure you both don’t stay too long that you start pruning from your hands
also expect fancy bathrobes when you’re getting out (embroidered with initials, please and thank you)
★··»—›Kai Anderson
the shower scene. Need I say more ?
just kidding, of course I do
he probably did that to you at least once
who am i kidding, multiple times even
Can you really refuse that invitation ?
you’re not doing much cleaning don’t be fooled, if anything you’ll be sweating more
but let’s make one thing clear the water is at HIS preferred temperature, if you’re boiling or freezing, that’s on you and you clearly need to toughen up
The switch in task is almost brutal because one minute he’s banging you and the next he’s washing himself military style. Five minutes, no more, no less.
he’d begrudgingly let you wash him, especially his hair (and will snap if you use the wrong shampoo since he’s gotta maintain the dye)
but if he’s washing you it’s with the sole purpose of feeling you up
you’re a grown adult you can wash yourself can’t you ? you’re not that incompetent
although it’s probably better that way given how he washes himself, there’s no tenderness here, it’s all about getting business done
he’s a very busy man anyway
also no baths, showers are more efficient and it fits more into his whole grindset mindset bullshit
Why relax for ages like a wet rag when he can just be done in minutes, perhaps blow off some steam and go on about his day ?
★··»—›Austin Sommers
oh that’s a baths over showers man if I’ve ever seen one
same reasoning as James
once again, consider blood baths
or perhaps don’t, I feel like drinking what you’re bathing in might be just a little nasty
expensive soaps and products are all that’s on the shelves of the shower and edge of the bathtub
bubbles and candles if he’s feeling fancy in the bath, half of the time he forgets to blow them out
also some good booze, cheers
stewing in hot water just seems to get the creative juices flowing, along with blood too
you’re hearing all his ideas by the way, he wants a thoughtful response
overall, relaxing time (occasionally fun too, he’s still a freak of nature) fuelled by thoughtful conversation since you don’t have much else to do
for showers however ? Now it’s more fun less relaxation
he’s got one of those fancy expensive showers with the jets in every direction
the temperature is always the same, do not change it.
He’ll just scowl at you and change it back anyway
but hey you do get some cleaning done
he gets particularly giggly if you’re washing him, couldn’t stop himself from making crude comments if he tried
he does make an effort to return the favor and also take the opportunity of feeling you up
but hey your hair has never looked better since you get those outrageously expensive products for it
fancy bathrobes too, from the same parisian shop he got his PJ’s
★··»—›Warren Lipka
once again, the bath scene
he’s the type to smoke a blunt in the bath and not care about the ashes falling in the water let’s be honest
he’s hotboxing the bathroom without realizing (or caring)
but at least he’d share with you if you’re down
baths are more for relaxing with music playing surprisingly enough
showers are definitely for banging though
AND eventually he’ll pour some bodywash in a half assed attempt to pretend like he cares about actually cleaning himself
at this point you might as well do it yourself
not that he’d stop you, he’s that lazy
but he will tease you about having your hands all over him even if you have the most strict and pure intention of just washing him
he’s probably projecting because that’s exactly what he does if he’s trying to wash you, goes straight for his favorite parts
★··»—›Peter Maximoff
let’s preface this by saying that he probably hasn’t taken a bath since he was 10 since showers are much faster
and he can’t think of anything he could do while sitting in water
so for the sake of efficience, he’s more into showers and probably gets through them even faster than Kai despite goofing off half of the time he spends in there
once you’re involved though ? oooooh
he’d get naked and wet wherever you’d like
perfect opportunity to get handsy, mess with you and play it off as innocent with the pure intention of helping you, like, jeez, don’t be ungrateful
most of his thoughts aren’t pure especially initially
though he does grow to actually like the shower itself
you’re getting free live concerts of sped up versions of the top 100
oh yeah don’t think he stops goofing off because you’re there
he’d start dancing a couple of times and you’d have to make sure he doesn’t slip and fall (relax, he totes has good reflexes)
in fact you get to hear literal shower thoughts live
he will expect an equally thoughtful or funny response.
“Do you think urinals were invented because a tall guy walked by the sinks and thought; why not?”
“I don’t know Peter but I wouldn’t be surprised if you pissed in a sink before.”
“...”
honestly whenever you’re not getting steamy, you’re laughing most of the time you’re in there
he pretends to complain that he wasted plenty of time in there because of you
you both know that wasn’t time wasted and he’s grinning as he says that
overall showers with Peter are about 15% showering (each other, why else would you both be in there), 15% boning and 70% Peter Activities™
and if you somehow manage to get him into a bathtub for long enough that you’re both sat/lying down, you’re gonna need to distract him
he doesn’t understand the concept of relaxing in a bath
he’d unironically get distracted by rubber ducks and bubbles (child at heart), I mean he’ll literally line them up like an army and talk to them like a sergeant while having bubbles for a beard dripping from his chin.
side note : he definitely dries off like a dog, beware
★··»—›Julian Dillinger
Showers over baths, efficiency is key
What ? He’s a busy man, he’s got a multi-billion dollar company to run
Also has those fancy expensive showers with an absurd amount of settings
The water is cold. He says it helps him “focus”
At this point you either get used to it or you cling to him for warmth
he’s judging you a little but hey, you’re kind of rubbing yourself on him at this point
a quickie to get the blood pumping in the morning ? fine
although he washes himself and expects you to handle yourself too, you’re grown adults why would you need to wash each other ?
But at least you get those ridiculously expensive products so props to you and your great skin and hair
He does occasionally accept to bathe with you (and makes it seem like a great compromise when he was stressed anyway)
but half the time he forgets to set his phone on do not disturb and just takes business calls in the damn bathtub
more accepting of touching in the bath, you rub his shoulders and suddenly all his responsibilities are gone
he’ll catch himself smiling when you give special attention to his tattoos or trace the lines on them
you can get some surprisingly soft moments where he just holds you, eyes closed and sighing to the point you wonder if he isn’t asleep
he isn’t and will grunt if you check.
While he isn’t opposed to doing it in the bath, he finds it messy and being submerged makes it a little more trouble than it’s worth in his opinion.
Still not hard to convince him, he just won’t be eager about it.
but the moment he’s out of the shower or bath he is gone, just grabs his towel and goes off to continue his routine or pick up any calls he might’ve missed.
to my favorite serial killer, clown, cult leader, hairstylist, vampire, playwright, actor, hotel owner, lobster man, circus performer, zombie, frat boy, and mechanic <3
