Bestie hehe whose pullout game is worst and whose is best out of the characters Evan plays???
the evans + their pullout game !
ft. tate langdon ‧ kit walker ‧ kyle spencer ‧ jimmy darling ‧ james patrick march ‧ kai anderson ‧ peter maximoff ‧ colin zabel — nsfw ; MDNI 18+
a/n: hey bestie i love your mind
TATE LANGDON . (3/10)
his intentions are good. his execution? terrible. pull-out game is WEAK purely due to incompetence.
“fuck—wait, wait.. shit, i was supposed to-”
feels guilty as hell afterward. “you don’t think i did it on purpose, right? you believe me, don’t you?”
KIT WALKER . (2/10)
kit TRIES to be responsible. really, he does. but he’s also a man who fucks deep and loves even deeper.
a very passionate lover and in the heat of the moment, he forgets everything else.
honestly, he doesn’t even try that hard.
if you reminded him, he’d listen. but if you didn’t? yeah, he’s finishing inside.
if you got pregnant, he’d step up immediately. pullout game is terrible but he’s a great dad.
pre death .ᐟ KYLE SPENCER . (10/10)
doesn’t take risks; he’s got a good head on his shoulders.
his timing and self control are actually great. the pull-out game is strong with this one.
even before he met you, kyle doesn’t sleep around like most of his frat brothers, even though he totally could.
JIMMY DARLING . (6/10)
jimmy knows he can’t afford to be reckless. he’s working in a freak show—not exactly the best place to raise a kid.
he also worries about passing on his ectrodactyly. even though you tell him constantly that it doesn’t matter.
most of the time, he cums on your tits or ass.
but when he’s drunk, he’s super impulsive, emotional. all self control flies out the window.
if you got knocked up, he’d have a mini breakdown and go on a two day bender but would also step up.
he will also propose immediately (after he gets his shit together)
JAMES PATRICK MARCH . (10/10)
he is nothing if not disciplined.
if james ever decided to give you an heir, that decision was made long before the act.
lowkey has reservations because of bartholomew.
⟢ cult leader .ᐟ KAI ANDERSON . (0/10)
kai never pulls out. he never intended to in the first place.
at first, he’ll act like it was an accident—for the purpose of plausible deniability. he’ll moan about how tight you are, how good you feel, and then when it happens:
“fuck—couldn’t help it. you feel too good, baby.” he’s fake guilty, kissing your shoulder, murmuring “next time i’ll pull out, promise.”
next time never came. (but he did. inside you) at some point, he just stopped pretending.
“this is how it’s supposed to be. why would i waste it anywhere but inside you?”
if you tell him you’re not ready for kids, he’ll say “women are biologically wired to want children. you’re just brainwashed by feminism.” (i hate this guy)
0/10 cos he’s actively TRYING to fail.
if you got pregnant? he’d be ecstatic.
PETER MAXIMOFF . (5/10)
thinks he has great control, but he really, really doesn’t.
he’ll pull out last second. but he cuts it close EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
sometimes he miscalculates timing.
“uh. okay, okay—don’t freak out, but I MAY have just—wait, are you on the pill?”
COLIN ZABEL . (9/10)
very responsible. colin respects boundaries and never pressures you into risky sex. always wears condoms unless you explicitly ask not to.
“you sure? ‘cause, uh, i got condoms—like, a lot. not a weird amount, just… y’know, normal.”
lowkey wants to have kids with you… but suppresses the “selfish” fantasy.
his one weakness? when he’s tipsy.
the one time you were both drunk, making out on the couch, which led to hot and sloppy sex. you felt so good and he was so lost in it, and then—
“oh, shit.”
immediate panic. full-body guilt. buys you plan b, also flowers and coffee because he feels guilty.
overall he’s very reliable, just that one slip-up.
AHS evan peters characters headcanons for cuddling/physical intimacy :3? Not necessarily NSFW, leaning more on fluff than suggestive !
Enjoy 🥰
Includes Tate, Kit, Kyle, Jimmy, James, and Kai
No warnings I don't think
Tate Langdon
Tate is aggressively touch-starved. Not in an obvious way at first either. He acts casual about physical affection until he actually gets it, then suddenly he’s sticking to you like superglue.
LOVES laying with his head in your lap while you play with his hair. He goes completely quiet during it too. That kind of silence that feels heavy.
Big on sleepy forehead touches. Nose nudges. Absentminded, almost instinctual touching.
He’d pretend to hate cheesy couple stuff but secretly melts if you hold his face gently.
Has a habit of hooking a finger into your belt loop or sleeve when you're laying together, like he's scared you'll suddenly get up and leave.
If he’s upset, he gets clingier instead of more distant. Would absolutely crawl into your bed at 2am without explaining anything and just bury himself against your chest.
Movie cuddles with Tate eventually turn into him laying on top of you or you on top of him. This man has no sense of personal space once he feels safe.
Kisses are either incredibly soft and gentle or devastatingly intense. No in between.
Kit Walker
Kit cuddles like a person who genuinely believes tenderness can keep bad things away for a little while.
Warm. That’s the first thing about him. Physically warm, emotionally warm, space heater warm.
LOVES domestic affection. Hugging you from behind while cooking, kissing your temple in passing, rubbing circles into your shoulders without thinking about it.
Sleeps best when touching you somehow. Hand on your waist, tangled legs, fingers linked. Doesn’t matter, as long as he can feel you.
He’s very attentive to what comforts you. Notices quickly if you like scalp scratches, back rubs, weighted hugs, etc.
Kit after a long day would absolutely pull you into his lap and just exhale into your shoulder like you’re home base. And really, to him, you are.
Gives the kind of hugs where he squeezes tighter halfway through because he wasn’t ready to let go yet.
Quiet morning cuddles with him feel sacred. Pale sunlight, tangled sheets, sleepy voice still rough around the edges.
Kyle Spencer
Kyle’s entire love language is basically him treating you like you're fragile and precious.
Very hesitant at first. He’d worry about being “too much” or doing something wrong.
Once comfortable though? Constant physical contact.
HUGE cuddler. Like genuinely. Arms around your waist, legs tangled with yours, face buried in your neck.
He likes laying his head on your chest so he can hear your heartbeat. It instantly relaxes him.
Physical affection becomes one of the main ways he communicates emotions he struggles to verbalize.
If you touch or kiss his scars without even thinking about it, you will literally see his eyes light up.
Kyle always falls asleep during cuddles first. Usually with his cheek smushed against you and one hand still holding onto you.
He’d love when you initiate affection because it reassures him you actually want him close.
Jimmy Darling
Jimmy is affectionate in a very wholehearted, overflowing way. Like he spent years being denied softness and now refuses to not give it.
Bear hugs. Constantly.
He kisses with his entire soul behind it. Even casual kisses somehow feel earnest.
Obsessed with having you sit in his lap. Doesn’t matter where you are. Chair? Couch? Edge of the bed? Congratulations, you're now sitting on his lap.
Teases you constantly during affection. “You comfy there, sweetheart?” while he’s the one crushing you against his chest.
He absolutely nuzzles into your neck whenever you're laying down together. Like it's automatic for him.
Tired Jimmy is absurdly soft. Running his hands over your back slowly, pressing sleepy kisses to your shoulder, mumbling half-coherent praise.
If you trace patterns on his hands or arms, he goes very still. That kind of tenderness wrecks him a little.
James Patrick March
James treats physical affection like a decadent art form. Every touch is deliberate. Dramatic. A little dangerous around the edges.
HUGE on hand kissing.
Loves draping you across him while you're lounging.
Surprisingly affectionate in private. Publicly he’s composed and theatrical, but alone? Very touch-oriented.
He adores slowly brushing hair away from your face while maintaining eye contact.
He likes possessive little gestures: hand on your neck, fingers around your wrist, pulling your chin toward him during kisses. Never rushed though. Everything with him unfolds like velvet curtains.
Secretly enjoys when you become affectionate first because it feeds his ego. Like to a catastrophic degree.
He’d absolutely call cuddling “indulgent” while actively refusing to let you leave the bed.
Kai Anderson
Kai is… complicated. Affection with him tends to blur together with control issues, emotional dependency, and genuine vulnerability all fighting one another. But underneath all the chaos? He craves closeness. Desperately.
Initially acts like he doesn’t need affection at all. Then proceeds to hover around you 24/7.
Touch-starved.
Late-night vulnerability hits him hardest. That’s when he gets quieter and more honest, pulling you against him while talking in a low sleepy voice.
LOVES having his hair played with. Instant system shutdown.
He’s clingier than he’ll ever admit. If you’re sitting together, expect him to pull your legs over his lap or hook himself around your waist.
The first time you casually kiss his forehead, he short-circuits.
Physical affection becomes incredibly important to him once attached to someone. Reassurance through touch. Constantly checking you’re still there.
Would absolutely deny enjoying cuddles while actively dragging you back into bed for “five more minutes.” Which becomes an hour. Then two. Little dictator of the blanket republic 🛋️
to my favorite serial killer, clown, cult leader, hairstylist, vampire, playwright, actor, hotel owner, lobster man, circus performer, zombie, frat boy, and mechanic <3
About: You ride the nose of Kai's clown mask. Inspired by THIS GIF SET by @evanheaven
A/N: This is just straight up porn without plot. I couldn't help thinking about using Kai's clown mask to get off with one of those damn cock shaped noses lmao. Enjoy!
Tagging the queen of Evan content: @darlingdearestdove
18+: Object insertion, male masturbation, Dom!Kai Anderson, big dick Kai, cum swallowing, reader uses a thong, slight panty kink – Unedited
“Sit on my face,” Kai says, calmly. You hesitate. When he said face, you didn’t expect to see him wearing his clown mask. Yes, the one with three faces and long, phallic shaped noses.
Sure, you had joked about sitting on the mask once or twice. It wasn’t anything serious, from your part at least.
“Kai… I’m not sure if,” – “I said sit on it!” He snapped. It didn't take too long for him to lose his patience during sex…
You swallowed thickly, nervousness coursing through your body. Was it going to feel good? Was it going to be uncomfortable? Was it going to… hurt? So many questions were going through your head while you crawled towards the waiting man.
He was fully clothed, dark blue jeans with a black, slick leather jacket. His legs were spread and the outline of his thick cock was visible from a distance.
When you were right in front of him, he slid his body and positioned himself between your legs. You were wearing a thong only, having stripped your clothes for Kai earlier.
He ran his large hands up the sides of your thighs, landing on your hips, before snapping the thin straps of your underwear. You arched your back slightly, aligning your center with the mask's nose.
Kai ripped the thong off you, pulling a whimper from your lips. You were soaked. More than you wanted to admit.
“You look so fucking good from down here,” he said, squeezing your hip before giving your flesh a few taps, indicating that it was time for you to play with him.
You heard Kai unzip his jeans and looked over your shoulder momentarily. He released his huge cock and gave it a firm squeeze. A little bead of precum oozed out, clear and perfectly round before it slid over his length slowly. He looked delicious, so you turned around, facing his dick.
You began to tease yourself with the mask, sitting low enough so the latex tip of its nose dipped inside your cunt.
Kai grunted when you started moving your hips slowly and he started to thrust up into his hand at the same speed as you. Then, he took your thong and wrapped it around the base of his cock, before continuing his movements.
The sight made you moan and lower your hips some more. Half of the mask's nose was inside you and it filled you up more than you anticipated.
Kai moaned at the sight of your cunt wrapped around his mask and rubbed himself quicker, trying to mimic your movements. Imagining it was you wrapped around his big cock. He loved torturing himself like that. Loved when you experimented with his fucked up sexual desires and ended up loving it, and fuck was it evident.
Your slick coated the latex nose the deeper it slid inside you and your moans filled the room.
Kai’s muffled moans and groans were an even bigger turn on. You knew he couldn’t breathe well in there and it turned you on even more. It made you ride that damn mask quicker and harder. Your clit rubbed against the smile that was painted on the latex, the ridges and patterns stimulated your bud in ways you didn’t know could feel good.
Kai continued to thrust up into his large hand and you swore you could feel him inside you instead. You could feel the head of his cock grazing your sensitive walls deliciously, raw and warm. Every ridge and vein you knew all too well sent bolts of pleasure up your spine.
Goddamn, you needed to feel him somehow, so you replaced his hand with yours. He was so hard and throbbing uncontrollably. You moved your hand at the same speed as you rode the clown's nose.
“Fuck… Let me cum inside you,” Kai said. It wasn’t a question, no. The man grabbed the sides of your head and pulled you close to his thick cock. You immediately opened your mouth for him, allowing him to fuck it.
“You feel so fucking good,” Kai said, followed by a hiss. He wasn’t going to last one more minute, and you weren’t either, having both ends stuffed full of latex and flesh. A combination you didn’t think you’d ever experience and one you were enjoying a lot.
You moaned around his cock as you felt your cunt spasm around the latex nose. Kai moaned along with you and came inside your waiting mouth seconds later, joining your orgasm.
You swallowed quickly and slid off the mask before turning around and taking it off his head. His blue hair was wet and small strands stuck to his face. He looked hot, so fucking good.
“Open up,” Kai said and you opened your mouth, sticking your tongue out. Showing him that you swallowed every drop of his seed. The man smirked and patted your cheek in approval,
