I've been hanging around the outskirts of the Testaments/Handmaid's tale fandom recently, and I've noticed that on tik tok, people tend to jump to hating the girls for decisions made out of survival/necessity.
My most current example and the main reason i'm making this post is Becka.
In the most recent episode, Becka is engaged to Garth, who also happens to be Agnes' crush. We also find out in this episode that Becka was given a choice in who she could marry from the small selection given to her, and she chose Garth. Obviously, Agnes struggles with this and is upset by it, but I've also found the fandom to be very upset by it too, in a ridiculous way. They say Becka is a bad friend, that it's shitty of her to choose Garth when she knows that Agnes has a crush on him, that she should've chosen someone else. "Oh, how could she do that to Agnes? I'm so disappointed." yada yada yada.
People are so quick to ignore what world these girls live in and also what choices Becka has. Fucking hell, she didn't even have a choice in who she would marry originally. And when she's given a choice, she does what is best for herself to survive in the system. Garth was the only one of her three choices who had her interests in mind, who wasn't an old man, and who hasn't tried to hurt her in the past. Of course she was going to choose him when given the chance.
Besides that, we are ignoring the biggest part in this whole situation that really shows there was never another option to begin with. We know Becka doesn't want to get married and doesn't like men, but she has no choice in Gilead if she wants to survive. She might as well pick a man that is least likely to make her suffer. If that man also happens to be the one Agnes has a crush on, well, she can't really do much about it. Neither of them ever really had a choice, a real one.
It doesn't matter that Agnes has a crush on Garth, because she never had the choice to act on it or freely experience it the way teenagers do. She has to get married to the man of high standing picked for her and be the dutiful, pure wife everyone expects her to be. It doesn't matter that Becka doesn't like men and has a crush on Agnes, because she doesn't have the choice to explore her feelings or her sexuality the way teenagers do. She has to get married to a man and be a proper wife. To be gay in anyway within Gilead is a death sentence, and Becka grew up knowing that, so she has to push these feelings aside and play the part to survive.
And that's the whole point of this show. These young girls don't have a choice, and any choice they do get is superficial. These girls, that are supposed to be enjoying their childhoods, are groomed to be obedient wives, forced to struggle for every little bit of autonomy and power they can get in a system that constantly oppresses them, turns them against each other, and denies them the ability to be their own people with their own wants and desires.
As an audience member, you're supposed to be able to see and understand the struggles these girls are under. So, can we please try to do that? Please?
