Discover Top Posts Tagged with #(well damn)

“Yknow I collect a lot of music, I should check and see how much I actually-“

wher am i

#there's SOME things a bit inspired by 64cake but don't let him know /silly #it's actually funny how i've never seen him before and right as i changed my artstyle i saw him and was like #well damn #/pos #smg4 #smg3 #smg4 mario #smg4 luigi #smg4 meggy #smg4 tari #smg4 saiko #smg4 bob #smg4 boopkins #smg4 melony #smg4 fanart #art #fanart #laazytoaster

SEULGI, 'Knock Knock' (Who's There?) @ 240802 FANCON (cr. mirai)

#seulgi #red velvet #femaleidolsedit #femaleidol #g:ifs #flashing tw #well damn

His best haircut BY FAR

#noel gallagher #oasis #nghfb #liam gallagher #britpop #what the fuck #Well damn #haircut

THE GIRLS ARE CRAZY TONIGHT

#WELL DAMN #cm punk #jacob fatu #wwe #wwe lb #survivor series

Sunshine

Things were good again in the bunker. Jack was back, and Castiel could see Dean beginning to forgive himself, to smile. Sam’s shoulders were without their constant tension, and for once the air did not feel as though it were charged with waiting evil.

Except, of course, for Castiel’s deal.

When you finally give yourself permission to be happy — when you let the sun shine on your face — that is when I will come.

He was trying not to think about it, and yet he knew he could not let it slip his memory entirely. Then the Empty would come for him in a moment that he had not calculated. Jack would see, or Dean, and the last thing Castiel did in his life would be hurting the people he loves most. He had to ensure that didn’t happen. There was one sure way to do that.

It wouldn’t be hard. Castiel wasn’t sad, now, but the absence of sadness, he had learned in his years on Earth, did not necessarily equate to happiness as one might expect. Castiel felt many things these days, but happiness, the sort that truly felt like sunlight on his face, was a rare and treasured thing.

He would miss its warmth, but if there was one thing Castiel had learned since he met Dean Winchester, it was how to live with love in your heart but never on your lips, never racing to the tips of your fingers as the reached out to touch. He knew, by now, how to exist on the step before happy, and how to be content in knowing that he would never reach it.

Castiel loved Dean. He thought maybe he had loved him since before he knew what love was, since the very moment he cradled Dean’s soul in the depths of Hell. Yes, he had loved him then. And what a gift it was, to love Dean Winchester. To be allowed to exist at his shoulder, as his friend and brother in arms. Castiel knew he would never be more than that to Dean, and he had learned to be content with this knowledge many years ago.

He thought this would prove to be the loophole in his deal: the Empty could never take him, because he would never quite be happy. His daily sacrifice of joy at the altar of Dean Winchester would prolong his life, and after Dean’s had ended, Castiel would teach himself to find happiness in the leaves floating on the lake, and the Empty would take him. Dean would be spared the pain of watching Castiel die once again, and Castiel, he hoped, would be allowed to stay by Dean’s side for the rest of his days.

But the knowledge of his deal hung like a cloud over Castiel’s mind. Not the threat of it so much as a morbid curiosity. He found himself walking the halls of the bunker while its inhabitants slept, just wondering what would make him happy enough. What could it be this would finally tip the scale? There was one thing he could think of, naturally, but he was safe in the knowledge that it was impossible. So, if not that, then what?

This question plagued Castiel for many days, and it remained today as his sleepless meanderings led him to the kitchen sometime before dawn. He was just starting a pot of coffee when Dean shuffled through the doorway, rubbing his eyes and clutching his “dead man’s robe” around his waist. He blinked blearily at Castiel, eye falling to the coffee pot, and smiled. Dean crossed the short distance to lean against the counter by Castiel’s side, his back to the machine and his shoulder brushing Castiel’s.

The coffee pot murmured to a stop, and Castiel had just reached out to retrieve it when he felt a weight fall on his shoulder. It shouldn’t have been possible, but Castiel swore his heart skipped a beat as he realized Dean’s head was now pillowed on Castiel’s shoulder, and he was sleepily humming a Led Zeppelin song Castiel recognized from his mixtape.

Castiel loved him so much. It was all he could think about in moments like this, the words resounding in his head like the most beatific symphony ever composed. I am in love with you, Dean Winchester.

Warning bells sounded dimly in Castiel’s mind, but the Empty wouldn’t take him today. Until those words left his lips, it would never be able to have him.

Slowly, careful not to dislodge him, Castiel retrieved two mugs and began pouring coffee into each. Dean’s humming stalled, and he murmured, “One for me?”

“Of course, Dean.” Castiel would give Dean the world if he could.

The weight of Dean’s head shifted as he straightened up, and Castiel turned to look at Dean in the same moment that Dean turned to him. His face was so close Castiel could feel Dean’s breath on his own lips, and count every fleck of gold in his beautiful green eyes.

The Empty was right. Castiel would suffer. But if keeping those words locked behind his lips meant that he could stay with Dean until the end of his days, then so be it. Castiel was strong enough, he was sure of it.

But then Dean stared deep and unguarded into Castiel’s eyes, his gaze dropping just for a moment to Castiel’s lips, and he murmured, “Thanks, sunshine,” and Castiel was nearly undone. How cruel, to hear the word of his death sentence on his lover’s lips. How twisted, as though the Empty knew what Dean would utter on a nameless morning in the quiet of the kitchen. How poetic, that even as Castiel saw the knife at his throat, he wanted nothing more than to let the words spill out then and there.

Because, in that moment, Castiel understood. Happiness isn’t in having. It’s in just being, as he was here with Dean. Happiness is in saying Dean, I love you forever and damning the consequences.

It would take all he had in him, but Castiel would never utter the words, never give light to the truth that would as soon set him free as it would pull him to the depths.

Castiel would never give himself permission to be happy. He wouldn’t. But as he gazed at Dean and listened to his words, Castiel understood. The sunshine was Dean, and when the world caved in and Castiel had no choice but to let himself be taken, the Empty would be right. Sunshine would be the last thing he’d ever see.