-c-

• they/he • • destiel and johnlock and hollanov my beloveds • • come read my bastard little stories on ao3 @tisforpterodactyl •

[tisforpterodactyl]

my stories master list

ficlets

Regarding Dean || Lost and Found || Candy Apple Green || Mistletoe || Sofa || The First Fruit || The Great Divide || Sunshine || Houses of the Holy (Free to Be You and Me)

ao3 works

When You Think He Can’t See You || A Place to Land

poetry

Father’s Daughter || Annotating

[pbeeanjay]

just being

[corrupt-touch]

It wasn’t easy for Dean Winchester to say “I love you,” because, since he was four years old, he equated love with loss. His mother burned alive. His father left him in rundown hotel rooms, and he was forced to change the role he should have had - a big brother - into that of a caretaker. He lost his childhood, but he did a damn good job raising Sam - and he even loses Sam for a while too, when he goes off to Stanford.

Then Dean loses the first person he loves romantically, Cassie, when she finds out what he really does. He leaves Lisa and Ben - despite admitting that he wanted a family - because he feels all he will do is put them in danger and that he’s not good enough for this. He believes he’s a killer.

He goes so far as to ask Castiel to erase Lisa’s memories of him and he uses a car accident as a metaphor for letting down his guard - he lost control and accidentally hit her, and he’s sorry for it.

And then there’s Castiel, who is willing to make it up as they go. Cas, who dragged Dean out of Hell and disobeyed Heaven to help the Winchesters. When Cas does something Dean sees as a betrayal, he takes it harder than he does when anyone else hurts him - but he forgives Cas. When he loses Cas, he’s devastated - he makes up an alternate scenario in his head to forget that Cas didn’t want to be dragged out of Purgatory. He carries Cas’ trenchcoat from car to car.

Dean knows what he feels for Cas. But can he say it? No, because when Dean Winchester loves someone, he loses them. So there’s little touches - running his hand down Cas’ shoulder, telling him “don’t get dead.” Saying “I need you.” He makes Cas mixtapes and watches old movies with him. He shares a late night drink with him in the Bunker and then slowly makes his way into his bedroom, alone, wondering why the hell he can’t have one goddamn thing he wants.

Then one day, Cas tells Dean “I love you.” But it’s not in the middle of the night over a glass of whiskey after some hunt like Dean wanted. The world is ending and Death is at the door knocking, and Cas tells Dean that he loves him but that this is a good-bye.

Yeah, Dean couldn’t reciprocate. Because in that moment, all he got was confirmation that love means loss. What do you say when your biggest fear comes true?

[tisforpterodactyl]

Important To Me that fics and fic authors maintain the fact that dean will still call cas “buddy” come hell or high water. they’re kissing on the lips? that’s his buddy. they’re confessing their love while quite literally inside each other? yep, buddies. they could be married for a decade and dean would call his legal husband buddy. thank you jensen ackles for trying to make dean straight, you made him even gayer instead

[strawlessandbraless]

The faithless man on his knees for the rebel angel

The angel giving all his faith to the man in return

[inacatastrophicmind]

Things that got deleted or never aired

[juiche]

I love treating my blorbos like dress up ken and barbie dolls 😌🎀

[thefriendlypigeon]

🩷💙 N E O N N I G H T S 💙🩷

⭐[my social media links]

[purplexedhuman]

Favourite Relationships: Dean Winchester & Castiel (Supernatural)

“Don’t make me lose you too.”

“Let me bottom-line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you.”

“We’re family. We need you. I need you.”

“I could go with you.”

[hardcoremisery]

i want what they have

[lamiasage]

tried drawing in Krita for the first time :)

[notevenalittle]

horny destiel memes to start your day off right

[thefriendlypigeon]

Someone requested a mirror piece with Dean Winchester of the latest Castiel artwork I made, so here it is! :D

🖤[my social media links]

[tisforpterodactyl]

i think we as a society are glossing over the fact that dean has seen cas naked wayyy to much. like guys. yes, cas was covered in bees when this happened, but what are some little fucks like bees going to do to shield cas’s “angel blade” (being decent here) from dean’s shocked surprised eyes?? the answer is nothing. the answer is dean is 100% fully aware of what cas looks like sans even the trenchcoat, and that image fuels his dream (by which i mean nightmares…. obviously). like. can we talk about this.

[tisforpterodactyl]

literally shaking knowing i’m going to open tumblr tomorrow to see jared padalecki and misha collins tongue battling while soldier boy shoots them and calls them slurs or something equally horrendous. im not ready (i genuinely can’t wait)

[bromcommie]

What's up with all the orders? You're starting to sound like Dad. That a bad thing?

s13 widower arc ft. john winchester's journal (and ever-looming goddamned presence)

[toki-like-eat-kfc]

John watson

Figure Practice