@slayeoff :
Habitually, Taeyeon liked to boast about her observational skills and her ability to read people, especially those that closed themselves in and provided a rather interesting challenge for her. Maaria was definitely one of them, and while their friendship was still at the beginning and the younger woman was awfully introverted and introspective when it came to her own feelings and thoughts, the idol didn’t feel like giving up just like that, without any efforts. Not when she had always found comfort and understanding into her friend’s arms everytime she needed it.
As of late, the blonde witnessed not once Maaria’s doubts, which worried her endlessly, more so when the latter denied herself a helpful hand to catch onto. Needless to say, that bugged Taeyeon immensely and prevented her from focusing on the most trivial things, unfortunately for her own weary mind.
It was already late when the vocalist left the practice room, sick of repeating the same choreography and moves for almost and entire day. Going straight to her car and driving it a little too fast towards her appartment, Taeyeon’s mental mechanism spun as her eyes fell on the red light that forced her to press the brake with her foot. Rest could wait, but her necesity to make sure that her dongsaeng’s restlessness was tamed couldn’t. Thus, once the light turned green, she speed up the pace and turned the car at the first corner, only to reach Maaria’s place unexpectedly quick. It was beyond her how she stepped on the rules and found herself facing the wooden door all of a sudden. Slightly hesitant, she raised her first to knock against it.
After taking a glance at her wrist watch and reading the hour- 3am- , the female was jolted a little by the bags under her friend’s eyes, thing she spotted first when the door was pulled open.Taking a few seconds to find her words, she shifted a little uneasily before speaking. “You have to talk to me. I only want to help, please don’t hide.” deciding against beating around the bush, she spoke forwardly, knowing that probably, Maaria would appreciate it more.
It seemed nearly impossible for Marie to focus on work recently. She was always drained. The fact she couldn’t afford to sleep all day and yet have to stay awake all night was not good. She was tired and restless. She had to leave her ship because all she was doing was shit. She couldn’t keep up with her clients nor her drinks -- keeping on dropping them because of her weak body who had lost a lot of weight the past month. She felt her hand bombing and because of that her boss had sent her home with a fair warning that if she couldn’t work, then she shouldn’t.
Obviously to her it felt heavy that she couldn’t pick up with her work. Let alone the mess that was already happening in her mind. Constantly worrying that she couldn’t get something right or that she wasn’t focusing on what was important to begin with. After all her life kept rolling do the roller coaster and all she could do was to watch it as it break. It had been so many thing that had affected her. The mere fact she couldn’t get a grip of what she wanted anymore, the perception of herself being weak to someone else’s power and will or because she was nostalgic. There was always something bothering and hurting her.
When arriving home she didn’t care if her roommates were asleep, she decided to make some hot coffee to warm her stomach before hearing someone knocking on the door. For moments she thought it had been a stalker, but if anything, she had two guys to back her up. She moved from the kitchen and walked towards the door, opening it up and raising a brow as she saw the petite singer in front of it. With her words she could only gaze blankly at the girl. She had been a pain for the past days because she kept asking over and over again what was wrong.
And what was?
“Taeyeon..” She spoke, her hand trembling as it held the door. Her body was trembling with how the anxiety was taking over. “I’m so tired.” She said lowly and without taking control of herself, her tears began to come down her cheeks. She knew why but she didn’t know why she was crying there. She lowered her head with shame and just allowed herself to cry.