AIO over texts between my bf and his friend
I am a 25yo woman and my bf is also 25yo. The conversation ended with a text saying "couldn't be me I'd be cheesing from ear to ear" after mentioning that her baby daddy isn't present in the pictures. I had lent him my phone and he gave me his. He is a very calm, reserved kind of man and I didn't expect to see or find anything strange. I know this conversation could have been much worse but it still shook me up! Its hearing him talk about another woman that way, and one that he met when she was seventeen that made my stomach churn. I also found a text of him being really angry and sort of mean in a convo with his friend about one night when I was reading him a book called "Invisible woman" just saying about how it pissed him off dadada. He was saying I sound dumb asf and like a misandrist and that the book is fabricated, I don't remember the whole text and no photo for that. I saw another convo of him speaking about this woman to which he said "we lost a baddie to relationship weight" "she got so fat after two kids" "ig it's just them not taking care of themselves" "she's chopped as fuck now" This happened within ten minutes. The only reason I checked those texts is because he had deleted that conversation and I thought it was strange. Idk. I need advice I feel super crazy lol. It's just I hadn't seen this side of him I guess so it threw me for a loop I hadn't heard him talk about women/feminism this way... I was especially shocked about the weight comments given his BMI is 32.9 (not to be rude but like 😭 it doesn't make sense) It was just super mean!!! I am also aware of the fact that I'm an insecure person, it's what makes relationships hard for me. I'm meek! And lack discernment. So I can't tell if I'm just being insecure and reading too much into it. He's apologized, and gave me a lot of reassurance. I truly believe he regrets ever saying those things but idk, i just know his intentions weren't to hurt me. Help!
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (81% confidence)
Top comment: “Nor. I’d be pissed if my man was talking about another woman like this. Not just because he’s saying he wishes he got her pregnant but also how he describes her.
Also with what you said about him mocking you and your reading. He clearly doesn’t respect you. I’m sorry 😞”
Notable explanation: “Completely aside from the rest of the post, you were reading him a book? The dude sounds insufferable and all but why were you reading him a book? I don’t think anyone past the age of 7 wants a book read to them unless it’s an audiobook of their choosing. It’s kind of the verbal version of “hey have you seen this video” and someone sits there and has you watch a 10 minute video you aren’t at all interested in. Sometimes my gf will drone on and on for 20 minutes reading a long article in a very monotone voice, and I understand it’s something she’s very interested in but I can’t help but just tune out and she doesn’t seem to notice. I just don’t have the heart to tell her I’m not interested in hearing it, if I was I’d ask her to send me the link and I’ll read it on my own later.
That aside, NOR, he sounds unbearable.”
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Originally shared by Sea-Rush-4654 on r/AmIOverreacting on August 3rd, 2026 at 12:19 PM UTC. Credit to u/lil_redfl and u/FVSHIXN for the quoted comments.
