Love your writing its my first time requesting. I was just wondering if you can do you think you could write a fem reader for mgsv Ocelot who hasn't seen reader in years and confesses his feelings for her. If not it's totally cool
Distant Lover
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Ocelot's face contorts into something that resembles a mix of surpise, and an almost kind of longing.
"Haven't seen your face in awhile."
"Neither have I, Adam."
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TAGS: Revolver Ocelot x Fem!Reader, reader is apart of Diamond Dogs, fluff, mild angst, mutual pining, yearning, confessions, friends to lovers, reuniting, Venom Snake referred to as Big Boss, I switch between his code name and real name, open ended ending (?)
WORD COUNT: 1,721
A/N: Quick note; for Ocelot's backstory i went with the account that he defected to the Soviet Union after working in the NSA, so that it'd be easier to say where reader and him knew each other from. However, on the mgs wiki it says there's a contradictary account that he got raised by the GRU??? Soooo yeah idk 😭😭
[ Part of my 100 event ]
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Mother Base was surprisingly quiet today. Granted, you hadn't been on it for long—you just got here about a few days ago. But you had expected it to be, well, more chaotic.
You were recently recruited for Diamond Dogs, since you felt like the military was the only place where you truly belonged. Whispers of the one and only Big Boss running the place had spread around and fallen upon your ears. That was enough to draw you in. Big Boss... the man, the myth, the legend. The greatest solider of your time. Who wouldn't want a guy like that to lead you?
Anyways, here you were now, exploring the base, walking to nowhere in particular. You pass by different scenes and people, some of them training, some gossiping and relaxing on the job. Eventually, you unconsciously bring yourself to the local range, where your fellow comrades were practicing their aim.
The first thing your register is a tall man with gray hair, who was coaching the soliders at the range. His bright red scarf stood out to you the most, the item making you recall a certain friend you had long ago.
Adamska.
Or, as he was later known as, Major Ocelot.
You and him were both codebreakers for the NSA, and through that quickly became friends. Trading work with each other when needed, telling stories on break, and having each other's backs regardless of what happened. When Adamska proposed to you to defect to the Soviet Union with him, you didn't have to think twice. One trip later, you and him landed in the terrain of the Soviet's, with nothing but the clothes on your back and the bullets in your pockets.
To say that you were anxious to start over—in a whole new country no less—would be an understatement. But with your good friend by your side, you both managed.
Yet, somehow you guys got caught up in the mess that was known as being a spy. For the KGB and CIA. What a combo. Under their influence, you and him enroll into the GRU under Volgin's command.
Volgin... that vile disgusting bastard. Even the mere thought of him makes you shudder.
Every time you had to deal with him left you pissed off to astronomical levels. Being one of the few women apart of Adam's personal squad (that he oh so was graciously granted) meant that you had to deal with Volgin, and his not so discreet comments towards you, every damn day. That you couldn't do anything about.
Boy, were you happy when you got out of there.
But it was at the cost of Ocelot's squad disbanding due to events in August 1964 that you'd rather not think about. After that, all contact that you had with him before vanished. For all you know he could've died, although you highly doubt it. Adam was one stubborn man. But if he was alive... why hadn't he contacted you in all these years? There had been no letters. No news. Nothing. It's so long since you've last seen him, and reluctantly you were forced to accept that he simply became another friend lost to time.
So then why did the man standing here a few feet away, remind you so much of him?
He continues to the teach the soliders, occasionally quipping here and there. His gray hair and scarf danced with the wind, his gloves putting one man into proper firing position. As he does, the red scarf wielding man reprimands a different solider. Taking his gun in the process. Apparently he was 'taking too much inspiration from Hollywood'.
"You will learn how a real solider fights. You will forget everything Hollywood taught you." His voice drops, "And if I catch you doing something else... you'll know it."
He steps closer to the solider, invading his personal space (another quirk that reminds you of your lost friend). Unimpressed, he gestures towards the solider's decked out gun.
"Engravings... give you no tactical advantage whatsoever." He sighs, but you see an awfully familiar smile pull at the man's lips. "That was some fancy shooting. Pretty good."
You lean against the wall, the touch slightly warming your body under the summer sun. Pretty good... Now where have you heard that before?
He flicks his hand, seemingly to call an end to the lesson. "You are dismissed. Until tomorrow." The rest of the soliders walk out. Some of them stare at your place by the wall.
When the red scarf wielding man finally turns to look at you, he stops. And you get to properly see his face for the first time. Strong nose and cheekbones. Wrinkles that trace around his eyes. A faint stubble. Hanging around his neck was the red scarf, perfectly matching his leather gloves.
That damn red scarf. You fixate on it. It looks so much like Adam's. Everything from the way it was presented—tight enough to be secure, but loose enough to not build up sweat—to it's exact color, a dull red that you've come to associate with memories of the past. Vibrant but dimmed out with age, never in reach.
It hits you then.
The reason why he reminds you so much of Adam, or Ocelot, or whatever damned name your brain switches between, is because he is him.
He is Major Ocelot. He is Adam. Your Adam.
And he was here, actually within reach.
Ocelot's face contorts into something that resembles a mix of surpise, and an almost kind of longing.
"Haven't seen your face in awhile."
"Neither have I, Adam."
Words couldn't even begin to describe how you were feeling right now. You could find time to put letters to feelings later. But right now, you have a lot of catching up to do. And a lot to say to the bastard.
Ocelot looks you up and down, taking in your form. "What brings you to Diamond Dogs?"
"I could ask the same about you."
"I'm an S-3. An Operations Officer."
"That doesn't answer my question."
Ocelot crosses his arms, and you see the beginnings of annoyance grow on his face. "I'm here for the same reason you are. To serve Big Boss."
"Knowing you, you're probably serving some higher up agenda while you're at it, too."
"Not this time." He says smoothly.
Really? As if. "Sure." Sarcasm oozes through your voice. You know better.
Ocelot sighs, shifting his focus to the ground. "No need for the snark."
"Where have you been for the past two decades?" You struggle to keep your voice level.
"I've been..." He pauses, making eye contact with you again before turning his head away. That look on his face, it was rare. Was he... ashamed? "...busy."
"Busy." You repeat in disbelief. "You're going to need a better excuse than that. You practically cut all contact off with me! For years I wondered where you were!"
Waves crashing upon the base could be heard in the distance, oblivious to the growing arguement festering between reunited friends. Ocelot is quiet. Hints of a silent battle he's fighting seen in his eyes. Just what lay behind them? Part of you wants to believe it's shame. Shame for leaving you behind, without even a proper goodbye, when he knew he was one of your closest friends. Shame for never figuring out the deal between you two—because oh, you were no fool. Friends didn't act the way you did with each other. However, there was never a conversation about it. Never a point where you either of you asked the big question.
How do you really feel about me?
You speak up, your voice softer, but still holding years of turmoil. "...Well? What's the excuse?"
"I didn't want you caught up in my business. It was too dangerous." He tightens his grip on his sleeves.
"Too dangerous, huh?" You swallow, "Did you think I'm not capable? That I couldn't have handled it like everything else that came before?"
Ocelot clenches his jaw. "No. Not like that. You're extremely capable. Capable of way more things than what the battlefield provides."
The sudden praise makes you stop in your tracks, but he continues anyway, "But if you came with me and got wrapped up in my mess... I couldn't have forgiven myself. You were bound to get hurt, and you deserve better than that."
He turns his head, facing you properly. There was a certain gleam in his eyes, and words begin to spill out his mouth, seemingly out of control.
"And I was the reason why you led down the path you did. It was safer for you if you were away from me." Ocelot purses his lips. "You think it didn't hurt me too? Staying away from you like that?"
At a loss for words, you stare at him with your mouth agape. Any previous feelings of anger or resentment slowly sizzle away as he speaks. You were still hurt, gosh you were, but when he lays himself out like this? Arguably the most vulnerable he's ever been with you?
"You could have told me..." You whisper.
"It would have defeated the purpose." He frowns, and murmurs (moreso to himself than anyone else) "I care about you too much..."
You hum, a small sad smile pulling at your lips. "Looks like you've matured after all this time, huh?"
Adam huffs, "Guess I have." He smiles slightly too.
His previous words linger in your mind. I care about you too much. But was it the same way? Maybe it was finally time to figure out.
Glancing down, you murmur, "You care about me?"
"Of course I do."
You lock eyes with him again. A fire in your eyes that refuses to extinguish. "You know what I mean."
Adam sucks in a breath, regarding you with a very intense look. He notices that look, and the grip on his sleeves loosen. Many beats of silence pass. Suddenly, worry strikes in your heart. Damn it. You messed up. Why did you have to say that? Of course he didn't see you that way! You should have just been happy with seeing him again! Shit, why did you-
"I've always cared about you that way."
Relief washes over you, like waves on a shore. You can't help the grin that plasters over your face.
"About time you said it."
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A/N: Oughh this was kinda challenging to write cuz I feel like Ocelot isn't the type to outright say 'i love you'. So it was difficult to find a natural/in character way for him to kinda confess. But anyways I tried my best. Hope you enjoyed!