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I AM BRAIN-SMART
Omg just read the sneak peak to the Hilda fic and protective older sister Kaisa is so goood!!!
A solid 1/4 of this fanfic is just Kaisa anxiously following everyone around like "helmets?? I have helmets. I am librarian with helmets. How have you all survived this long without helmets???"
FFS has been the HIGHLIGHT of my August, and possibly my year. I can't believe how much I love Ef and Arden and Dr. Gary! *blobsob* Every time I get a chapter update notification, I'm just. *vibrates at an extremely high frequency* Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you so much for reading!!!
Tbh it’s absolutely been the highlight of my August as well. :D I’ll be starting chapter 17 tomorrow (I was going to start today, but it’s like, past midnight and also I’ve been working on The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle).
I’ll have to slow down with the updates next month because I’m adding more stuff into my roster (The Nascent Diplomat) and I literally can’t keep up at the pace I’ve been working. (I wrote 72,000 words in July, and 90,000 words in August, and er, my normal wordcount is around 40,000 words, so I’m just actually really hurting myself at the moment even though I love this story so much, I’m going to get really sick at some point if I don’t slow down).
But also just know that I’m loving this story so much and I can’t wait to share more chapters with you, and I really hope you enjoy them.
260,000 Words, Full of Self-Praise, From Trump on the Virus - [ https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/04/26/us/politics/trump-coronavirus-briefings-analyzed.html?algo=top_conversion&fellback=false&imp_id=896815749&imp_id=85197578&action=click&module=Most%20Popular&pgtype=Homepage ]
-Kindness won’t save anyone
one of my favorite things about writing is watching the story kinda get told by itself.. like the most wondrous feeling happens after you’ve been writing for 1-2 hours and pause and realize how much closer you’ve become to your characters and setting and how much they’ve come alive
Today's word salad.
Ilia followed Father into his office.
There was no fire going as it was a warm, sunny evening. The evening sun shone through the windows. Ilia could see the last-minute preparations for the rest of the party outside.
Father closed the door behind them. “How have things been going in Chicago?” he asked.
“Things have been fine,” Ilia said. “Why?”
“Your mother and I do worry about you,” Father said.
Thank the gods she’d been taught shielding. “There’s nothing to worry about,” she said. ‘
Father raised an eyebrow, then walked over to his desk. He opened a drawer and pulled out a file. He opened the folder and turned it to face her.
“Would you care to explain this, then?”
Ilia approached the desk. There were multiple photos of her with some of the secret society members, but mostly with John and Rhea.
“They’re just friends of mine,” Ilia said, trying to keep her voice even. “What’s it to you?”
“These people are part of a dangerous terrorist group,” Father said, eying her.
“Well, they haven’t discussed anything about terrorist activities against the Empire,” Ilia replied. It was technically true.
“Then why is your name on a list of society members?” Father asked.
“Even if my name was on a list, it has nothing to do with you. Or the Empire for that matter,” ilia said.
“Ilia, I need you to be honest with me,” Father said.
“I am,” Ilia said.
Father walked around the desk and put his hands on her shoulders. “If you’re in trouble, I can help you,” Father said. “If certain people get wind of this, then you will.”
“Father, it’s not what you think,” she said.
Father looked her in the eyes. “Ilia, please just tell me the truth,” he said softly.
Ilia tried not to look away. “I am,” she said.
“Tell me the truth,” Father said.
The command wormed its way into her mind and her mouth moved before she could stop it. “I am a part of the society, but it’s not a terrorist organization,” she said.
Father spoke before her conscious mind could catch up. “What is the society’s goal?” he asked.
“To stop the Shadows,” she said.
Ilia blinked and stepped back. “You didn’t have to fucking do that,” she said.
“I’m afraid I needed to,” Father said.
“No, you didn’t,” she said, her voice shaking.
“I needed to confirm it,” he said. “What are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you need to leave,” Father said.
Ilia’s mind continued to whirl, but finally noticed the missing piece. “You weren’t surprised when I mentioned the Shadows,” she said.
“I’m aware of what the society is about,” Father said.
“No. It’s more than that,” Ilia said. “You know about them.”
“Ilia, it’s a story that we’re told as children –“
“No. You know that they’re here,” Ilia said.
“All the more reason you need to stay away from them,” Father said.
“I’m twenty-seven years old. I can make my own decisions,” she said.
“Ilia, it’s dangerous,” Father said.
“You think I don’t already know that?”
“I’m trying to protect you,” Father said.
“I don’t need your protection.”
Father stared at her for a moment. “I was your age when I came back from the war,” he said.
“I remember,” she said.
“I never told you kids or your mother a whole lot about it, but I did help liberate the camps,” he said.
“Father, I know,” Ilia said. Memories of her father screaming in the middle of the night came to the front of her mind.
“They were just rumors throughout the war,” he said, his face haunted. “You should have seen them when we arrived. The ones that survived at least.”
“Father –“
“If the Shadows are successful, it will be that all over again,” he said.
“Then more people need to know about them so there’s a chance,” Ilia said.
“It’s more complicated than that and you know it,” Father snapped. “That’s why you need to stay out of it.”
“I’ve made my choices,” Ilia said. “Do Mama and Ally know?”
Father hesitated. “No,” he said. “I’ve made sure of it.”
“We should tell them.”
“No. It’s too dangerous,” Father said.
“It’s not fair to them –“
“Godsdamn it, I’m not losing another child,” Father yelled.
“What the hell do you mean?” Ilia asked.
“I mean there’s a chance that Nick could have been killed because of my work,” he said.
“You don’t know that,” Ilia said. “Is there any proof?”
“It doesn’t matter right now,” Father said. “The point is, you’ve been putting yourself at unnecessary risk.”
“Again, it’s my life and my decision,” Ilia said. “Not yours.”
Father clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. “Ilia, don’t make me –“
He was interrupted by a knock on the door. “The party is about to start,” the butler said.
Father shot her a look. “We’re not done discussing this,” he said. He grabbed the file and put back in the desk drawer.
Ilia left the office, grabbed a bottle of wine from her room, and went up to the attic. This was going to be a long night.
it’s so fucking annoying that making anything takes so much time . like i really only finish fics when i write them in a lust-crazed haze of word vomit and feelings and i can churn out thousands of words in a few hours . anything else is dust in the wind
