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"L'amore dovrebbe insegnarci a smettere le nostre armature non a costruirne altre."
-umi-no-onnanoko (@umi-no-onnanoko )
TORONTO, ON - MARCH 11: Mitch Marner #16 and Auston Matthews #34 of the Toronto Maple Leafs walk out of the dressing room ahead of playing the Edmonton Oilers at the Scotiabank Arena on March 11, 2023 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Photo by Mark Blinch
DAL @ SEA | March 11, 2023 - Joe Pavelski 3-3
03.11.23
This year i told myself i would learn to love myself more. To actually explore the intricacies of me and learn to see it from different angles so that i can accept myself for who i am.
The more i learn about myself, the more i find myself crying. I find myself wishing, begging to be someone else but me. I ask myself why i even have the attributes that i do because they dont do anything for me. They show how weak i am, how easy i can lose myself and how hard it is for me to stand up to life.
I know life is worth living because i find myself in a small second moment where i feel absolute love for the world- for who i am and what ive become…and that keeps me where i am, but im scared one day i wont be able to like it anymore. That second moment won’t happen again and i wont know how to like myself.
I realized that i want to be shown affection, that i care too much and constantly need to seek approval and love from other people in order for me to gauge my own self worth. I learned that i can look at my body and ask myself why did i let it get to this point, why couldn’t i get into working out like others do. Why it’s hard for me to say no to certain cravings while others can cut it off like cold turkey. I care too much about other people because i hope deep down that they will care about me as much as i do about them. But i dont want to admit that i need help. I tell myself things are temporary until i suddenly want to make a permanent decision. And then i somehow convince myself that life is worth living- and the cycle repeats. When will it end? When will i look at myself with love and adoration instead of seeking it in other people?
Lewis after qualifying P5 in Brasil | 03.11.23
“It’s 5th. 5th is never that great. I did the best I could, hopefully we’ll have a better race. More to come this weekend? The car was showing signs of decent performance but we were generally a couple tenths off the top guys. I think the conditions at the end, maybe had us a little bit further than that. It’s difficult to say.”
DAL @ SEA | March 11, 2023 - Miro Heiskanen 4-3 (OT)
DAL @ SEA | March 11, 2023 - Roope Hintz 1-0