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i never knew what being in love was like until i fell for this guy.
this experience truly is something different. and yes, i have said that in the past but in all honesty... i had not a single clue of what i was talking about. before this, i thought i had finally found what i was looking for. but something was off or incomplete and it really messed with me. i even went as far as thinking that i was broken or something. that i just couldn't fall in love no matter how badly i wanted it. it was frustrating coming to the conclusion that love might not be in the cards for me. after that passed, i cried for the loss and for myself. i tried to force yet another puzzle piece, that clearly did not fit, into my life again.
something in me changed that day and i can pinpoint the exact moment i came to the realization. i don't need that kind of love. i have what i need already and that's me myself and i. it's my friends and it's my family. it was here all along
i later came to realize that romantic love is not forced, it's not begged for, and it's not something you hunt down. it quite literally finds you and makes itself known in such a human way that it's almost otherworldly. it grips your heart and soul in its clutches and refuses to let go.
and just like that, the second i stop looking, it finds me.
i think the universe is so funny like that. i finally learned the lesson she so desperately wanted me to learn and there it is. everything i've ever wanted, hidden in plain sight.
a simple crush turned into falling in love. and this love feels pure and innocent, childlike. when people say it feels like floating on a cloud, they are not exaggerating one bit. it really is the closest you can get to heaven on earth. i found myself quick to say yes to any chance to see him, i wasn't intimidated or scared to spend alone with him.
when i confessed and relationship talk started, he made it clear from the start that communication is going to be the most important thing between us. nothing is hidden, we say how we feel, when we feel, we reassure each other and make our intentions clear. i struggle with being vulnerable but when you're in love, it's easier to say those things in the little moments.
there are things he says that just light me up on the inside in such an inexplicable way. sometimes its things that leave me reeling and thinking about for days
his attention to detail and effort to make time for us is more than amazing. i'm highly appreciative of it and i just hope that he can see those traits in me as well. being in love makes me want to be a better person in all aspects.
in conclusion, get you a person who will make you wax poetically and get philosophical about love, life, human nature, everything
ahh, human happiness: that impenetrable crucible
rothy_ming 사진을 건진건지..만건지..
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