Nov 22, 2020
feel like im living the same self loathing cycle over and over again recently, also feel like my current circumstances are making it hard to elevate myself beyond this detrimental bs
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feel like im living the same self loathing cycle over and over again recently, also feel like my current circumstances are making it hard to elevate myself beyond this detrimental bs
Caught up in our own thoughts we forget eachothers
coming back to the plane of thought,
we rejoice in similar tone
putting personas up to front
as we sob behind masks of bone
masks of steel
made to not break
made not to be to free
because being free is never guaranteed
you'll always be trapped behind something
these masks of bone are tiring,
I really want to take a break
not from you
but from this plane
this plane which houses shards of glass
ready to cut and slice me apart
maybe my break will be a few days
not long enough..
maybe it'll be a few years
I'll still be tired..
maybe I'll mess up,
do to much,
it was an accident dont you see?
I never meant to
let me rest
North Beach, Maryland
Alright! So, this last week was fucking hard. My great grandma died, I fell down the stairs, and also managed to cut open my thumb while trying to make dinner. 😰 Because of all that nonsense I’m checking in on Saturday November 21, 2020 because I missed Wednesday and bleh. Honestly I might just switch to Saturday weigh ins versus Sunday/Wednesday.
I weighed 221.4 lbs today! Which is sooo exciting, I’m excited to get below 220.... then 210... then 200. Being so close to these break over moment really gets me hyped about weightloss again.
I ALSO ran for 1.5 miles straight today!!! 🥳 So exciting! I mean, after the jump roping thing, my lungs practically gave out on me (asthma is a bitch) so I thought I was falling behind. Nope! I think the jump roping actually strengthened my lungs by stressing them out so bad (thats how exercise works right?). Anyway, I think it is probably a good idea to jump rope once or twice a wewk to just build up extra stamina. Another problem is that the weather is only getting colder, so I’ll cross that hurdle when i get to it i guess.