"Bread Crumbs."
I was just going home from school and was in a line for a train station.
(I think I'm in college in this dream. This is kind of a weird feeling since I already finished college.)
I was holding my notebook, and then when I was about to place it back in my bag, I was approached by a familiar face. He was my classmate in elementary school.
(What's so special about it is that he was my crush back then. Why him? It's been so long.)
He was smiling at me, like he was thinking to himself:
"same old sam, still diligent at taking notes."
(He probably thought that because I was already in the train station, and yet I was still holding my notebook. Why the heck am I even holding my notebook? You're such a nerd, Sam.)
A short convo about how we are's exchanged between us, and then the weirder part came along.
He asked me:
"we're okay, right? because of what happened with..."
(I already knew what he was talking about, but what's weird is that I don't know how he became aware of that. Or maybe it's not that weird because it's possible he might have heard about it, or maybe, I think they were close, that's why he knew. But why would he ask that? He wasn't even part of that issue. It was just between me and her, our classmate in elementary.)
So reluctantly, I said:
"Yeah, we are."
Then he added:
"Because you know, there's no life after death if a fight happened because of a movie."
(So weird, right? like something so important and deep, like the topic of life after death is connected by fighting because of a mere movie. What's even weirder is that we didn't even fight because of a movie...)
Then I noticed big amounts of brown and orange crumbs, like that of choco butternut donuts...
(Lol, why these donuts? They're not even my fave.)
...beside my feet, piled up. And then I tried slipping them out of the level of stairs I'm in, using my feet. Then I woke up.
I was really weirded out by this.
(Word of the day is weird, lol.)
Well, I know dreams are weird. But I'm just saying. Like, why now? Why him?
As we all might probably know, dreams are in our very deep, subconscious part of our minds.
I discussed this with my lil. sis, we did a little bit of brain storming and came to the conclusion that this is one of those memories from the past that still crosses my mind from time to time, but I'm just shrugging it off 'cause it was already a long, long time ago. I realized that every time it crossed my mind, i kept thinking how I wanted it to be over already. Somehow hoping that we're already okay with each other. Maybe that's what the crumbs are symbolizing, crumbs that were left from the past. And by cleaning them off from the stairs, it indicates the part that I want that issue to be over.
Another conclusion from my sis is that maybe those crumbs are left over from what was whole before, but became broken. Ooh, so deep right, coming from a lil sis.
Also, why did he say that about movies? Maybe because I've been watching too many movies? Or is this a warning sign that I won't be going somewhere after this life if I don't fix that issue with her? But it's already a long, long time ago. I bet she would also be weirded out if I asked her about this so suddenly.
When I think about it, it's not a big deal anymore since, just like what I said, it was a very long, long time ago. But maybe I'm just that kind of person that is not really used to fights and cold wars, not that I'm a kind person, but I really tend to avoid it because it makes me feel this way. Makes me feel so heavy inside.
I don't know if I'm just overthinking, like maybe she's already okay with me but, just would like to add that, I did try to reconcile with her in high school, 'cause yeah, she became my schoolmate back then as well. I tapped her back when she passed by, hoping she would acknowledge it. But her reaction made me stop. She just looked at me and continued on her way. I don't know if she was just shy, but it made me think that maybe she was still not okay with me that time.
Doing the first move that time to reconcile is not really easy. 'Cause I'm kind of a prideful person, and it made me feel pathetic that she might be thinking that I was regretting everything and wanted to be friends again with her just because she's popular. But it's bad to think like this. And that's why I think it's better to shrug this all off. Out of mind, out of sight, dreams.
