when they’re 15, chuuya kisses him inexperienced and messily. he says he’s probably kissed more people than dazai before, but dazai has read plenty of books on how to kiss so he naturally kisses better. chuuya disagrees, but they disagree on most things. and dazai is usually right anyway.
when they’re 16, chuuya kisses him through the only outlet for his anger. he suffers loudly, and dazai drinks in his fury, egging him on purely because it makes him feel alight to see chuuya so alive.
when they’re 17, chuuya kisses him with teeth and tongue. his rage is less hurt now, but dazai indulges him either way. their lips bruise and their tongues bleed, and it lingers for far longer after they part, and it’s nice all the same.
when they’re 18, chuuya kisses him like he’ll disappear any minute. he holds him still, and then pulls him closer where they clash over and over. he bruises him and then soothes the wounds. he’s angry but settled down, and still he can feel dazai drifting from his grasp with each minute.
when they’re 19, 20, 21, dazai hopes chuuya kisses no one else. he doesn’t deserve for the wish to come true, but he crosses his fingers and prays that chuuya finds nobody the same. really, he just longs for something to be his own. forever. for always.
when they’re 22, chuuya kisses him the same way he used to, and in the newest way possible. he kisses him like he’s never kissed before, like he’s pained, like he’s angry, like he’s clinging onto him as if he’ll vanish if he doesn’t. he kisses him like there’s nobody who will kiss him the same way dazai does, and he holds him like he’s hoped that dazai has found no one else who can kiss as chuuya does.
when they’re 22, chuuya kisses him because it’s everything he wants. dazai kisses him because it’s all he’s wanted. it’s soft and tender and almost
