For the Country| Tobirama- Arranged Marriage AU
Part 12/15
Part 1| ... | Part 13|
Masterlist
Word Count: 3.7k
Summary: Similar to Ch 5. 3 vignettes that span the years following the fallout from Madara.
1. The fallout and the forgiveness
2. THEY KISS and realize they're in love. omg.
3. Hashirama's death. (lol you thought you could have a fully happy chapter?)
While their success as a union came as a surprise, their ability to lead Konoha was anything but.
The initial years Tobirama led as Hokage were peaceful and full of prosperity. It was in these years prior to the second war where their identity as a pairing was allowed to evolve and eventually solidified into exactly what it was destined to be.
***
Like most things in life, the fallout of Madara within the Uchiha came and went. Some details were made public to the clan, and others weren’t. They were told that Madara abandoned the village due to differing beliefs, and that was readily accepted due to the swift and painless nature of it. To them, it was not surprising that his beliefs ended up being the final contention point, but it was surprising he left without a fight. That was uncharacteristic of him, yet they would not question it further, already having the faith that their interim leader wouldn’t hide anything that would end up being poisonous to them later. They were already well aware that she would drink the poison herself before ever giving it to them, and so they were at peace.
The Uchiha were not told of the things that nobody else, save for her, saw. They did not know of the position Madara placed their mediator in, the steps she took in order to protect them all, or that she possessed a skill nearly equal to his. The clan as a whole did not need to know the clandestine handlings that took place in order to keep them safely within the village. At the end of the day, it was politics, nothing more and nothing less. Yet the lingering thought that came along with all this whispered that while the clan would never know these things, there was one soul who sought to know more; one soul who deserved to know more.
Borderlining a teenager at this point, she knew very well that she couldn’t hide the truth from him and say it was a form of protection anymore, especially when he was the one destined to take power. Those 11 years between the two seemed to be shrinking more and more with every passing day; his maturity making those years feel more like months. Kagami wasn’t a child anymore, and that was something she had to come to terms with. She had come to terms with the fact that he was now going to have to carry more burdens than he had previously, and that her offering up the truth- the complete truth- was the first step.
Leaning against the kitchen counter, staring down at a cup of tea she had yet to take a sip of, her voice was quiet. “If this goes badly today…” she trailed, already having gone through various reactions she would receive from her sibling in her head time and time again. “If this goes badly, can you talk him down?” she asked, meeting her husband’s gaze.
Still waking up as he poured his own cup, Tobirama shook his head. “It’s not going to go poorly. You know that.” he mumbled, not awake enough to handle her small moments of insecurity.
“But if it does…?” she urged. “He trusts you; he’ll listen to you.”
Giving a somewhat annoyed look over to her, he rolled his eyes. “Fine, but it’s not. You’re being ridiculous.” he muttered, wanting silence before he went out to go face his team. Trying to rub the exhaustion out of his eyes, he continued his muttering. “He can’t argue anyways; you’re the head of the clan” he rebutted.
“Tobirama-” she tried again.
“What?”
Pursing her lips for a moment, she looked down to her cup before speaking. “I’m going to offer his memories back…” she admitted. “And offer my memories of the past…” she continued, this time allowing her eyes to meet him.
This time, Tobirama fell silent, knowing the weight that statement held. She truly was going to allow him to see all of the underhanded dealings that it took in order to secure their survival. Kagami knew her almost exclusively as the guardian sister. He did not know her as the soldier, or the politician, or any of the other titles she assumed in order to ensure his safety and the safety of those she cared for. It was at that moment that Tobirama became aware of the anxiety that followed this. Exhaling he nodded, “I’ll send him back early, clan matters.” he agreed.
“And if it goes poorly?”
Slightly frowning at her, he resigned to her will. “Then I will step in.”
Yet the fact of it all was that Kagami was not going to see her in the same light that he had seen Madara in; no one was ever going to place her in the same perception of Madara. They held the same position, but she was worthy of the power she held. She was always focused on the people, not the power, and that’s what was going to allow for all of the growth and serenity that they would all attain in the years that followed.
Even if it was a difficult conversation that Tobirama was sending Kagami to go have, he knew it wouldn’t go poorly. He knew their bond, and he had the certainty that something such as this would not shatter it. It was never destined to go poorly, and when Tobirama stood at the door of his home, listening only for a moment, his certainty was only strengthened by the relief that was saturating his wife's voice, even though the words were normally not ones of relief.
“I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t. You’ve done more than we can ever give back to you…”
It was when Tobirama then opened the door and instantly locked eyes that were teary and red that he fully felt the relief that had overcome her. Kagami had hugged her, very much in the way that Tobirama had found him hugging her when she had agreed to train him instead of letting Madara train him years ago. His arms wrapped around her tightly, face buried, almost as if he knew he wouldn’t have been able to face the future if she hadn’t intervened.
Though this instance, the mark of time was evident. Kagami wasn’t a small Academy child anymore, he was far closer to her equal, even having an inch of height on her at this point. He was quickly advancing and inevitably going to rise to become the leader of the clan. Even though he was still young; he had to face the same fate where he grew up quicker than he should have. The unfortunate fact of it all was she couldn’t protect him anymore, but truthfully, she didn’t need to anymore. She already saved him, and though she had yet to fully realize this, both men in that room knew it.
Tobirama was silent for a moment, knowing that she knew of his presence in the house now, but was allowing Kagami one last moment.
“Thank you…” he whispered to her, now also aware that Tobirama was back.
“What-?” she questioned as she pulled back to look at him.
Giving a small smile, one that hid the guilt that he felt, Kagami was kind. “For being there…”
With another pair of tears falling, all she could do was nod.
“You too,” Kagami turned and faced Tobirama. “Thank you.”
Tobirama was about to ask why, but he knew. He knew it wasn’t for being his teacher, or his service as Hokage. It was for protecting his sister, and being there for her when everything was about to crumble. As he stood there, Tobirama became painfully aware he was staring at the two the most prominent Uchiha figures in the village and he was thinking to himself how they alone were shaping his future. How he would have detested this realization years ago, but in the current moment, he was grateful for their existence and how it was going to play into his.
Little did he know that while one was going to be there throughout his rise of power, the other was going to be there at his fall.
And he was going to be the reason for his fall.
***
“Come walk with me?” she hummed, her voice resonating softly through the darkened office.
Glancing away from his work, Tobirama’s sight lingered on her form for a moment. In these seconds, he made the quick assessment that she had intentionally sought him out after her shift at the hospital. There were small dents in her curls signifying her hair had been up in a bun for many hours. There were darkened circles under her eyes from the completion of a 48 hour rotation. There was a soft, but ever evident sense of exhaustion coming from her. She truly should have been at home resting, but she had chosen to come find him, and was now leaning against his door frame, offering him an escape he so desperately needed…
And truly, he did want to accept the offer. He did want to take a midnight walk through the village with her, but the duty to the nation came before his measly wants.
“I have to finish this. Go rest, I’ll be back in the morning.”
Pushing herself away from the frame, she offered more persuasion. “You know, periodical walks have been proven beneficial for analytical thinking. Wouldn’t want you making a mistake, now would we?” she smirked, a hint of orneriness evident.
If you had told him years ago that he would be folding so quickly to the will of another, he would have written you off as insane. But maybe it was a sign of maturity? Willingly give into another person, one who he knew only wanted the best? Maybe it was one of the numerous other signs that what their marriage was now was something far different than what it had started as. Maybe now he could give in to the will of another without analyzing their every single motive? Nodding, he closed the folder in his hands before standing. “Only for a moment.” he offered, as he placed a hand on her back for a moment, leaving the office behind.
As they walked, the roads of Konoha were quiet, their path to the river crossing with only a few souls. Throughout their time, their conversation was filled with menial things: Hashirama’s upcoming dinner, the need to buy more tea, how winter was soon going to take the village by surprise. None of it held much gravity until they reached the river, and even then, the words that left her mouth were not intended to hold the weight that they did.
“These were always my favorite.” she mused, skipping across the stepping stones on the river, a foot sequence that had been ingrained into her memory long ago. “Hiro and I used to cross these all the time when we were little; used to think that if we crossed the river, we could just run away forever.” she admitted with a small laugh as she landed on the other side of the river, the content tone hinged with just the slightest amount of longing.
As the years had passed, Tobirama had been better able to paint the image of one of her lost siblings. She spoke more freely of her eldest brother ever since she had admitted the truth to him, occasionally recalling memories other than that of his passing, allowing Tobirama to not only gain an insight into him, but a better one into her. Following her to the other side of the river, he questioned. “You wanted to run away? You wouldn’t have survived. I’m assuming you realized that?”
She gave a small shrug. “Probably not, but we weren’t destined to survive in this place either,” she said. “Dying in a berry field from something simple as dehydration was a better ending than on the battlefield. At least no one had to wear the color of your blood home.” she offered with a small smile, one that knew neither option was desirable, but one was far less painful than the other.
“So you thought about how'd you rather die too?” Tobirama prodded, as he sat down on the river edge.
Following suit, she nodded. “Of course…” she trailed. “At least when I was younger.”
“You don’t anymore?”
“No, there was some point where I realized I couldn’t die.” she stated, her gaze locked at the slowly moving water. “At least not yet.” she affirmed.
Hearing this, he fell silent, just listening to her words.
“When we thought of running away, I always wanted to bring the other kids with us. I wanted to grab their hands and just pull them across the river into somewhere where there wasn’t constant fighting and death. I didn’t care what clan they were from. We were all just bloody and broken kids. The adults were always too consumed with the past to create a future, but I think… together we could have done it.”
Part of his chest ached as he heard her mimic the exact thoughts that he used to have as a child, thoughts that were filled with more hope than reality. She had become the vision that he had dreamed of when he was a child, a member of the rival clan who had somehow overcome all the strief and now reigned in peace. He remembered early on thinking that she could have been the Uchiha’s maverick. And now, as he looked at her, it was evident that she was more than just their maverick.
Shifting her gaze, she offered a solemn smile. “I can’t die yet. I still have to help create a future for the others.”
Part of him hated that she was like this; she was so blind to all of the accomplishments she had already achieved. She had already done it. She had saved her clan. She had helped build and sustain an entire village. She had created the possibility of prosperity even when the reality of failure was nipping at her heels. She had done so many things that he would never be able to do, and for that, a small part of him hated that she was like that.
He didn’t hate her. No, not at all. He hated the fact that he had been conditioned to see her only as the enemy when she truly was the furthest thing from it. He hated the fact that he had always seen her as malevolent when she never was. He hated that he had always treated her like she was lesser, when in reality she was far more valuable than he. He hated that it was so hard for him to admit that he had fallen in love with someone who he was never supposed to love.
But he had. And in the process of falling in love with her, he had seen every part of her. The good, the bad, the painfully harsh duality of her, and he still fell for all of it.
“No…” he murmured, absentmindedly placing a hand on her face, and running a thumb across her cheek bone. “You can’t.” he agreed with a shake of his head, though his reasoning for her need to live was far different than hers.
He needed her. He wanted her. Save for those two things, there was very little running through his head at that moment as their faces were only separated by a few inches. He had kissed her before, but they were always for show. Quick pecks used more as reassurance for those surrounding them that their marriage was valid. But now, this was different. That logical thinking was nowhere to be found as he stared into deep eyes that he now only seemed to get lost in. He wanted her close, closer than she was now.
Feeling her own heart uptick, she was able to stay slightly more gripped in logic than Tobirama, but not by much. She never expected for him to ever love her, but as they sat there on the banks of the river, she couldn’t help but revel in the knowledge that he now did. And she had fallen too; though like him, it was something that had been stirring for a while, but was now so blatantly obvious that they couldn’t hide from it.
And so, when their lips met, it was something far different than anything they had shared in the past. It was a surrender to the inevitable, and it was something they willingly gave to another, one who they thought they would never fold to.
But, maybe that was what made it so worthwhile?
***
When Hashirama died, there was almost no time to process anything.
One second an intern was rushing into the Hokage’s office, begging for her to step in. The next, her and Tobirama were both in the ER, her leaving him behind in the waiting room, and bolting to the OR as one final shot at survival. But then, she came back only moments later, not nearly long enough to have scrubbed in and done anything.
They were fast, but tragedy always seems to be faster.
Pausing for a moment, still bracing herself from the same blow she was about to deliver, the Uchiha looked almost as if she were begging for forgiveness. “They did everything they could, but there was no chance of survival…” she stated, a phrase that she was not a stranger too, but this one held more agony than all the other previous. Still in a state of shock, she shook her head, “I… I’m so sorry,” she whispered, mainly to Tobirama, though by then, the family she had married into had filled the room and were listening to her dreaded words.
Hashirama was a pillar in the lives of many, and his passing was something that was unexpected and shattering.
Truth be told, Tobirama couldn’t recall much from the days that followed. All the meetings, planning, tears from those around him, it was all something that forced him to just go on autopilot. He just needed to handle it all and get it done with. There was no time to process anything; he needed to be the logical one who pulled everyone together. But to be that, he truly had to be somewhere else entirely.
The first time he truly felt that the shock had settled, he was sitting outside of his house and just listening to the crickets that surrounded the somewhat secluded home. The white noise was welcomed, though to be truly honest, every single phrase that had been spoken to him after his wife delivered the news felt like white noise. Grief was not something that Tobirama openly admitted to, but in the moments that were soon to come, he wouldn’t be able to deny it.
Hearing the sliding door glide against the reel, the noise brought him even more into reality, pulling him away from that protective autopilot he had been surviving on. Bringing an additional cup of tea with her, she sat down next to him without saying a word. The last few days she had been a constant presence for him, one of the few who had been able to stand strong against the pain of the current moment. She had remained strong, most likely for the sake of the family, but he knew well the thoughts that were going through her head. How could he not? They were the same thoughts going through him.
Without Hashirama, neither of them would have been where they were. Without him, she would have never been able to progress through the ranks, and he would have never even survived the war. Without him, they would have never been placed together, and everything that they built, all the futures they created, would have never existed. Without Hashirama, they would have never created a union that would mend bonds that were broken generations ago.
Exhaling as he pulled the cup to his mouth, Tobirama gave a quick glance to her. “Did you put anything in it?” he asked as he took a sip.
“No.” she said with a quick shake of her head. “You’ve been numbed out for days now. I’m not going to add to that.” she offered.
Her honesty was brutal, pulling him even more into the moment, yet he didn’t have a response ready. And so, he just sat there for an indecipherable amount of time. It wasn’t until he asked his next question that there was any noise between the two. “What helped when Hiro died?”
“Time...time helped, but it’ll always be there…” she looked away from the sky and to him, allowing those dark eyes to remain on him. “You can’t just wish it away…” she whispered, her voice starting to saturate with pain that hadn’t been there before. “But, I don’t quite think it’s even possible for us to pretend like the loss of someone so imperative to our lives wouldn’t leave us in heartache.”
He could feel his chest starting to weigh down. “So I’m just stuck suffering?” he nearly snapped, the grief starting to rack through him. He could feel his jaw tightening as the truth felt like venom infiltrating his system.
She gave a small nod.
“Fuck it.” he muttered, standing up from the ground to flee from her. “I’m not just…” he mumbled out, his voice starting to break.
“Tobirama-” she followed, stopping him and grabbing his hand. Pulling herself to him, she held onto him, almost to cradle him from the weight that was finally crashing down on him. “I know, trust me, I know…” she whispered. With a hand on the back of his neck, gently combing through his hair and the other around his waist, she silently allowed him to break without acknowledging it as a weakness.
And that was the first time Tobirama was ever allowed that.
Gritting his teeth, he buried his face into the crook of her neck and gripped onto her tightly, fingers digging into the black fabric she was wearing. He wouldn’t lift his head, but he knew she could feel the burning tears against her neck, dripping to her collarbones. He knew that she knew he was breaking, but she simply stayed there with him in a moment that he never thought would come, and for that, he was grateful. Her presence was soft and healing, and while she had said time was the only thing that would heal this pain, she had little knowledge of the impact she, herself, was having on him. Without her, he probably would have never healed...
“I can’t…”
“I know…”
