This is a vampire larry trainor fic inspired by @a-random-jayebird's vampire larry trainor art. Also some larry x cliff because...why not?
Larry sighed as he pulled the last bag of blood out of the mini-fridge in his room. He sat down on the floor and poked a straw in it before thinking about ways to refill it. Yes, with the type of vampire he was, he could live off of normal food but he would be blood-starved. He was already that way when he came to the manor from the Antfarm and it made him cave in and tell Niles about his condition.
"Do not worry, Captain Trainor." Niles said with a smile. "As long as you're here, you will never run out."
"Guess that was a lie…" Larry mumbled. He was so lost in his thoughts, he failed to hear Cliff turning on the decontamination shower and opening the inner door.
"Hey Lar-Bear! I g-what the fuck!?" Cliff screamed after seeing his boyfriend drinking blood from a bag like it was a Capri-sun.
"Cliff!! Don't freak out!"
"How do I not freak out!? You're drinking fucking blood!"
"Where the fuck did you get it??? Who the fuck did you get it from??? Why the fuck are you drinking blood??"
"Stop yelling! And stop cursing. I'm drinking blood because I have to! Well, I don't have to but I'm very weak and a narcoleptic instead of an insomniac. I'm a vampire. Don't ask. I…I don't actually know where the blood came from. Niles supplied it for me. He said all the blood came from non-diseased animals that were already dying or given willingly from people."
"Kinda hot. I like biting." Cliff would have wiggled his brows if they existed.
"Cliiiff…" Larry pinched the bridge of his nose, thankful that he couldn't blush visibly anymore due to his scars.
"I can tell you're blushing."
"I'd break my fangs if I bit you. You're made of metal."
"I know. I know. Wait, you actually have fangs?"
"Yes. One of them is already a little chipped."
"Oh. How much blood do you have left?"
"This is actually the last pack I have." Larry held up the pack before going back to drinking.
"Well what are you going to do now?"
Larry wandered the halls, Cliff had convinced him to finally tell the others. How would he do it? Cliff was rounding everyone up while he figured out a plan...
"Finally! Cliff said you had something to say. We waited for-fucking-ever for you." Jane announced when he finally made his way to the living room.
"Nice to see you too Jane...I do have something...very important to say."
"Are you leaving? Please don't leave us." Rita gasped.
"No. that would be worst actually."
"My guess is that someone got in contact with you?" Vic smiled.
"No one outside this group has."
"Oh! Guessing game. You're something supernatural, vampire maybe?" Jane had now shifted to being upside down on the couch.
"I-...yes, actually. I-I am...have been the whole time i've known you guys."
"Wait really? I was joking around." Jane sat up. Everyone stared.
"Yes. Really. Cliff found out and made me tell the rest of you."
"I can go in his room and he was drinking a pack of blood like a capri-sun."
"I can't really do it the normal way and if I came down here, grabbed an empty cup, take it to my room, and came back with a red-stained one, that would have raised a lot of suspicion."
"Wait wait wait. Back up. You have packs of blood just in your room???"
"Yes. Well, I had some. I drank the last one today."
"When did you get this? How did you get this??"
"Well, what are you going to do now?"
"so what's the plan again?" Cliff tilted his head.
"I am going to become tiny and scare the rats out of the hole. You, Jane, and Larry are going to catch the rats. We will then take them to the lab where Vic is working on a way to extract their blood!" Rita clapped her hands together.
"I'm fine with killing some rats." Cliff said happily.
"I know they need to die for me to get their blood, but id prefer it if they die humanely." Larry turned to him.
"fiiine. Let's get this over with."
Larry sighed as he cut the dead rats open. Only two of the four they found were considered clean enough for Vic to let him drain so they got him a bird too. He started to drain the rat's blood into the bag when Rita walked in and sat next to him.
"hi Rita. I thought you were too squimish to watch me do this."
"well I noted that you only had three bags of blood, if each animal filled one bag, and I thought you'd like a bit of variety so...I want you to fill one bag with my blood. Think of it like a blood donation."
"Rita, I'm not taking your blood."
"Larry, it won't kill me to give you a bag of blood this one time. I know I'm clean so you don't have to worry and I'm giving it to you willingly!"
"fine. Which arm is better, right or left?"
"someone's here!" Vic called from the top of the stairs.
"Hello. My name is Vincent. I am a vampire hunter. I've been given some...tips that led me to this town. Is it ok if I search your home?" The man at the door introduced himself. The others looked at each other nervously.
"I think that would be fine." Larry said, as if he wasn't a vampire trying to pass as human.
"wonderful! I should be out of your hair before noon begins!" Vincent pushed passed Jane who opened the door.
An hour later and Vincent had corralled them all into one room.
"I have discovered..." He started. "That one of you is a vampire!" No one said a word.
"well? Who is it?" Vincent continued to push.
"why would a vampire tell you that their a vampire?" Jane asked.
"well...um...wait are all you vampires!?"
"no....just me." Larry finally gave in.
"you deadly monster! You let me into your home so you could kill me!"
"no. I let you in because I knew you would keep bothering us if I didn't."
"you have everyone here under a spell or a trance, haven't you!?"
"not the kind of vampire that can do that."
"wait...there are more than one type of vampire?"
"you're a vampire hunter yet you didn't know that there was more than one type?"
"you don't seem like a very good one." Jane laughed.
"shut up Missy! Then what kind of vampire are you? Born or turned?"
"still more than just that..." Larry was starting to get a little amused by his floundering.
"I can survive without blood, but it's not recommended."
"I'm taking blood from rats and birds."
"I offered him my blood and had only just convinced him to take it when you showed up." Rita interjected.
"I can't even drink from the source because I'm radioactive. I have to drink from bags and the only way I'm doing that is either with permission or from an animal."
"then why are people dying?"
"people are dying!?" Vic asked.
"Vincent, right? You have the wrong vampire. Now get going." Cliff stood up and shoved the man out.
"you seem to know a lot about vampires." Rita commented.
"what kind of vampire are you?" Vic asked curiously.
"were you born that way? Did your parents do something to make you that way? Did you turn before the crash? After the crash? Did the ant-" Jane started before being interrupted by Larry.
"enough! No, I'm not like this because of an experiment. Yes, I was a vampire before the crash. I don't want to talk about it any more." Larry stood up and stormed out.
Larry sat outside on a bench. He thought that maybe some gardening would help calm him down but it didn't. He sighed and started to count the strawberries on the bush next to him. Cliff walked over an joined him.
"so...you don't like talking about it?"
"just....have a lot of bad memories attached to the earlier years of...this." he gestured to his mouth.
"oh yeah. You have fangs."
The two sat in silence for a moment before cliff realized the sun was directly on them.
"hey uh...Lar-Bear, arent vampires supposed to stay out of the sun?"
"some can. Some can't. I can."
"oh. So is there like set types or just a bunch of traits that mash together?"
"set types but the traits can cross over if the parents are different types or one human."
"I'm guessing some types are more human like than others?"
"yeah. I got lucky. If it wasn't for my abnormal canines, the need for blood, and my insomnia, no one would ever know."
"how many people knew about this?"
"well...my parents did...Niles did...the antfarm probably figured it out....I told you guys just today...that vampire hunter guy....that...that's it..."
"were your sons vampires?"
"were your parents vampires?"
"sorry! Don't have to talk about that!" Cliff held his hands up in a sort of surrender motion. Larry laughed. Larry turned to face up, his hand brushing against Cliff's.
"I love being outside during the day. Strange for a vampire, even one that can be in the sun."
"you do look very happy."
Larry tilted his to look over at cliff.
"how easy was it to hide?"
"being a vampire? Ehh...I drank blood when no one was around and..."
"any other vampire things you want to ask?"
"do you go 'bleh bleh bleh'? Vampires in movies do it all the time."
"no. I don't go 'bleh bleh bleh'. Maybe I did once when I was like...5 as part of a halloween costume. I went as a vampire for Halloween almost every year."
"hey. Built in costume!" This made Larry laugh again.
"it is a built in costume."
"how long are your fangs?"
"hmm? Oh...um...uh...well ones chipped so...yeah."
"well, how long were they originally?"
"they...they poked out about halfway."
"how did you hide them!?"
"my....my parents...my parents first tried to file them down...then they tried to break them off. One got chipped and the other is cracked."
"Jesus fucking Christ! Did it hurt?"
"oh yeah. It hurt a fuuuuck ton."
"shouldn't they have known it would hurt!?"
"they thought they were hollow."
"why did they think that? Are some vampire fangs hollow?"
"vampire fangs cannot be hollow. I don't blame them for not knowing, I just got...I don't know, a recessive vampire gene from both of them?" Larry sighed and laid his head on Cliff's shoulder. Cliff stopped for a moment.
"wait. You're family weren't vampires yet you are?"
"I don't know. Recessive vampire gene? Mom cheating on dad? I got adopted but never knew?"
"weren't your parents christians or Catholics or something? What about the holy water and crosses and that kind of stuff?"
"oh that's all just made up. I could stand in the middle of church holding a cross and chugging a bottle of holy water and the only thing that would happen would probably be a priest yelling at me to leave." Cliff laughed at the mental image of it.
"do you think that the vampire hunter guy was lying?" Larry asked.
"I think he was. All I told him was basic knowledge and mysterious killings would be on at least the local news."
"does anyone here even watch the news?"
(psst. I will probably make a part 2 because this is good ending place to start a second part and I don't want to reach a character limit)
