Idea Are Bulletproof
It’s been over a year since the last time I saw you.
But it feels like it’s been forever.
I think part of me is scared to ever see you again,
Because at this rate, I don’t know if I would be able to recognize you.
You know, there are times when I wake up, and I still reflect on everything that has happened.
The good.
The bad.
And the really bad.
Those last two seemed to happen more often than anything else.
And before, when I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t accept that all of it was my fault.
But I’ve gotten wiser now, at least, I think I have.
And I can admit that it was all because of me.
There are times where I think that I’ve gotten past everything that happened with us, and I won’t think of you anymore.
Then something happens, and I find myself right back at the start.
Is that what I did you, so many times before?
Did I make you not forget about me, when that’s all you wanted to do?
Just one more thing for me to be sorry about.
That list seems to keep growing.
Maybe someday, it will stop.
Maybe someday, I will be able to tell you all the things I am sorry for, even if you don’t care.
But, I think the thing that scares me most...
...is not being able to recognize you anymore.
I know you’ll say that this is the way it was meant to be, and, maybe you’re right.
But out of all the faces I’ve ever seen in my life, I never wanted yours to become hazy.
I never wanted it to be hard to remember what your voice sounds like.
But, rather than think about what I’m missing,
I think it would be better to be grateful for what I had.
So, in short, thank you.
Thank you for some of the best years I have ever known.
Thank you for helping me to find the strength to continue.
Thank you for putting up with me longer than I ever deserved.
I hope I get to see you one more time.
A quick glance at each other as we pass by.
I wish I could find more to say,
But I’ve never been good at talking.
