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Squirrel and Wife

Description: Knight!Jisung has been faithfully by princess!reader’s side for a very long time. He now has to put aside any feelings he holds for you for your and the kingdom’s sake after finding out about your arranged marriage.

Warning: torture, implied killing

Word Count: 10.6k

Pairing: Jisung x fem!reader

“Princess.” He moves closer to you when you don’t budge. “Princess, it’s time to wake up.”

You let out a slight groan as you press your torso up off your bed. A strand of hair falls over your face as you look at your personal knight before you fall back down onto your bed. You were in a meeting over agricultural taxes until well past midnight, and you really don't have it in you to wake up right now.

Jisung sighs knowing it’s one of those mornings again. To be honest, he doesn’t mind it much, but he knows you will once you find yourself scrambling to your first appointment of the day. When he walks over to you and throws off your covers, you let out a pitiful whimper. He reaches down for your arms and circles them around his neck before he lifts you up and off of your mattress. He gently sets you down in front of your vanity and pours you a glass of water.

“Well then. The maids will come in to dress you shortly, Princess. Breakfast is at seven per usual, and I will be reading you the rest of your appointments for the day then.”

You make an incoherent noise and nest your head in your arms on your table.

“Princess,” he sighs again. You can hear his professionalism slipping from his voice. “Come on, you know you’ll regret this later.”

“Immediate gratification is better,” you mumble.

Jisung puffs in defeat and pity from seeing your state. “Fine. Five minutes, alright?”

You nod and bury your face in your arms. In what feels like just a second later, you feel something soft nudge against you.

“Wakey-wakey!” Jisung sings in a childish voice.

You open one eye and see him poking at you with your favourite stuffed squirrel.

“It’s time to run the kingdom so squirrels like me can live happily and peacefully.”

You rise up again and clutch the squirrel to your chest. “Alright, Mr. Fluff. I’ll wake up just for you.”

Jisung chuckles, knowing you’re awake now.

“I’ll call the maids in. I’ll see you at breakfast, Princess,” he announces before bowing and leaving.

You think about how well Jisung has come to know you as grit your teeth at how hard your maid is pulling on your corset. You hand picked him to be your knight for your tenth birthday, and in almost seven years, he has come to know you better than you know yourself. He has been a guardian, a protector, and a best friend. You really wish he could stay by your side forever, especially as you stood before your father for your last appointment of the day.

Jisung kneels behind you with his head lowered, but he can’t help but risk looking up to see your reaction at what your father had just told you. There isn’t much to see, however; you are completely still and seemingly unaffected by his words.

“I understand, Father.”

The king, on the other hand, is surprised by your apathy. “You do? All the princesses in the other kingdoms have made a fuss about it.”

“I’ve been expecting this. You, the maids, and the governesses all have been reminding me that this is my life’s purpose since I was young.”

“Well alright then. I’m glad we’ve done a good job then.” Your father relaxes in his chair. “You are dismissed.”

Jisung stands to open the door for you. You flash him a reassuring smile as you pass, knowing he must be worried.

“Wait, Y/N.”

You turn back towards the king. “Yes, Father?”

“I- uh- I am sorry about this, but it’s for the good--”

“--of the kingdom,” you finish for him. You curtsy again and reassure him, “I understand; I sincerely do. Please do not feel sorry, Father.”

A part of you really has accepted your fate as princess, but truth be told, a large part of you does want to make a fuss and fight your father about his decision.

Jisung seems to have adopted your passive stance on your situation. Despite your act, Jisung knows there isn’t any way you aren’t feeling anxious. There’s no way anyone wouldn’t feel anxious in your shoes. So he stays by your side even past his duty times to keep you distracted and away from your darker thoughts that he knows you have when stressed.

The two of you are in the middle of a mancala game when you hear a knock at your door. You and Jisung both look at each other, knowing you are in nothing but your nightgown and are in no condition to meet with guests.

“Y/N, it’s just me, Chan” the knocker calls.

You exhale in relief when you recognize your brother’s voice. Jisung walks over to open the door and greet the crowned prince.

“Thanks, Jisung. Would you leave us for a moment?”

Your knight looks at you and you nod.

“Of course, Your Highness,” he complies with a bow.

Once Jisung has closed the door behind him, you look to your visitor. “Brother! What are you doing here?”

“I’ve heard about what Father told you today. An arranged marriage? Y/N, are you okay with this?”

Your facial features flinch upon remembering the event again. “I suppose. I’ve known this would happen for a while now.”

“It still has to be daunting for you.”

You shrug with a sad smile. “It’s not like we can do anything about it.”

“Maybe we can,” Chan mutters under his breath. “It’s just not fair. What happened to finding your true love? I can’t believe I have to sit back and watch my own sister go through this.”

“I’m fine, really,” you assure again. “Besides, I gave up on true love when Froggy didn’t turn into a prince when I kissed him.”

Chan smiles at your attempt to lighten the mood. “And how is Jisung feeling about this?”

“Jisung? Why do you ask?”

“Because he-- Nevermind.” He rises to leave. “Y/N, if you don’t want your marriage, just say the word. I’ll do something about it. They can’t stop me, and even if they do,” he adds with a dry laugh, “then they really can’t marry you off since you’d be the only remaining heir.”

“Don’t say that…”

“Have you met the prince?” Chan inquires at the door.

You shake your head. “I am set to travel to Dancerrith in ten days.” You quickly add, “Just to meet him! I’m not moving there yet!” when Chan looks enraged all over again.

“I’ll clear my schedule for those days then.”

You object, “You’re already so busy, Brother. Do you even sleep anymore?”

“Of course I do,” he laughs nervously. “I’ll be dead if I didn’t.”

You walk over to him and run your thumb under his eye. Just as you predicted, there is a grey bag beneath his face powder.

“You should know there’s a problem when you have to wear cosmetics when coming to just see your sister,” you frown. “I’ll ask Changbin to bring me some of your paperwork tomorrow.”

He protests, but you push him out the door. You know your brother’s personal knight is somewhere nearby waiting for the prince, so you call out to him to give your request.

The said knight is found patting Jisung on the back and whispering to him in a low voice. The younger of the two is hunched over the railing and peering down to the first floor.

The door to your room opens, and both of them spring to a proper standing position. Changbin turns around to greet you, but Jisung takes a moment to tilt his head back before doing the same.

Changbin complies with your request, much to Chan’s dismay, and the two of them return to their respective quarter after a few goodnight’s. Jisung hastily bids you goodnight as well and tries to escape into his room.

“Jisung.”

He stops in his tracks at the sound of his name. His head turns towards you as if it were a rusty clockwork.

“Yes, Princess?”

You walk up to him and try to peer into his eyes. He recoils from your proximity, however.

“Is something wrong?” you inquire with a furrow in your brow.

“Why would there be?” he chuckles nervously.

“Jisung...”

By this point, he has turned completely away from you.

“Princess, you’ll be tired again tomorrow if you don’t sleep now.”

“I’d rather not sleep than not know why you’re weeping and not be able to make you feel better.”

He smiles sadly at your words. “You shouldn’t be willing to make such sacrifices for another man now that you have a fiance.”

“Is this about the engagement?”

“No,” states Jisung with finality. “Goodnight, princess.”

“Wait--”

But he is gone. The door to his room shuts before you can even finish your word.

It’s about the engagement. It is obviously about the engagement.

Jisung sits across from you as the two of you bump along with the carriage that’s taking you Dancerrith. He is usually peppy during these rides, initiating “I Spy” and other verbal games with you, but not to this extent. Right now, he is bouncing off the walls with an unnatural smile plastered on his face, trying to fill the air with noise and distraction.

You don’t blame him. You know he would miss you if you released him as your personal knight once you move to your new kingdom, but he would miss all his friends back home if you didn’t.

“I spy something blue!”

“Is it my hair ribbon? You already said that one twice, Jisung.”

“Oh, I did? I’m sorry, Princess.” He scratches the back of his head. “Let’s try--”

“Let’s do something else instead.”

“Sure! What do you want to do?”

“I want to talk.”

His face falls. “A-about what?”

“When I get married,” you begin hesitantly, “do you-- and I understand if you need some time to think this over first-- do you want to be relieved as my knight? I know your whole life has been in the castle, and all your friends are--”

“No!” he interjects, jumping up. “No, I’m going where you’re going, Princess! I’m not leaving you; how can you think I would do such a thing?”

He is half-crouching half-standing while gripping your shoulders and boring his eyes into your soul. You look up to meet his gaze in surprise. You seldom see Jisung adorning such intensity in his features.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice is not much more than a whisper in the wind.

His eyes flicker to something a little lower on your face before he slumps back into his seat with a sigh. “How about the counting game?” he tries again with the same unnatural smile as before.

You shake your head, still dumbfounded. “Actually, I’m a little tired now. I should rest a little before we arrive.”

“Oh, okay.” He fidgets from not knowing what to do now. “Do you need anything? A pillow? A blanket?”

You shake your head once more and lean against the side of the carriage. You aren’t actually tired, but seeing Jisung act like this makes you uncomfortable, and you are sure he feels uncomfortable about it too.

Thus, you close your eyes and slow your breathing. By the time Jisung thinks you are asleep, you are actually feeling a bit drowsy. Your eyelids flicker open for a moment to grasp one last visual image before it slips into unconsciousness.

This image consists of Jisung, of course. He is staring at what he thinks to be your sleeping form and running a distressed hand through his hair over and over.

You know something is still denying him his peace. Since he answered your previous suspicion so readily, you can’t figure out what else could be wrong. Still, you are grateful he put up an act for you, knowing you are stressing about the marriage yourself and not wanting to ask you to carry his burdens on top of it.

Your lips part, wanting to tell that you can handle it if it’s his burden you are taking on-- to tell him he doesn’t have to hide it and to tell him that even if he doesn’t want to talk about it, you are still here as a shoulder to cry on or as a hand to hold on to during tough times. Your lips part, but before words can be formed, you fall asleep.

You wake up to find yourself laying on your side. Your knight’s coat is tucked under your head and said knight is shaking you awake.

You almost believe you are back at home, and Jisung is just waking you up like he does every morning.

“Princess, we’re here.”

Guards from Dancerrith announce that the prince is waiting for you in the west-wing fireside room and beckon for you to follow them. You thank your carriage staff and allow the Dancerrith guards to lead the way.

The first impression you have of the prince is that he came out of a fairytale. You think you hear Jisung muttering a curse behind you, but you can’t be sure.

“Princess Y/N?” the prince inquires.

“Yes,” you reply with a curtsy.

He smiles charmingly and returns a bow. “I am Lee Minho, crowned prince of Dancerrith. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.”

He invites you to sit and the two of you get to know one another a little better. Minho is a good talker-- he is charismatic and makes you feel understood-- but he also seems distracted. It is not enough to lose track of the conversation, but enough for you to catch his eyes flickering to the window more than once.

You have dinner together, but Minho is called to handle some state affairs not long after, leaving you and Jisung with some guards to show you to your rooms.

“What do you think of Prince Minho?” Jisung asks while watching you viciously hug one of the pillows on his guest bed.

His room is ingeniously connected to yours, a marvelous idea that has you wanting to renovate your room back at home. Not that it matters anymore, you realize with a heavy heart.

“He’s… nice, I think. What about you?” you ask in return.

Jisung goes into your room and reappears with one of your pillows to replace his. “Why does it matter what I think? I’m not the one getting married to him.”

You growl in displeasure as he fluffs up your pillow and places it on his bed. “You’re my personal knight. You’ll be around him so much, you might as well be married to him too.”

“Well, I think he isn’t as pretty as me. There.”

“Jisung,” you scold.

“You asked,” he shrugs before swatting away the pillow you toss at his face.

“I’m going to retire now,” you huff.

At least that is what you thought you would do. Of course, nature has other plans for you. You stare blankly at the canopy, searching for sleep with no avail, so you are acutely aware when your and Jisung’s connecting door opens with a small squeak.

Jisung walks over to your side, and you flutter your eyelids open to look at him. He jumps in surprise and nearly drops what he is holding.

“Sorry, Princess. Did I wake you?”

You shake your head. “You didn’t, but why are you here?”

“I forgot I packed this. I thought you would appreciate it even if you were sleeping.” He holds up the object in his hand.

“Mr. Fluff!”

He chuckles at your enthusiasm. “Trouble sleeping?”

You nod into your stuffed animal. “You too?”

“Yeah,” he sighs into the still air.

“Maybe I should get you a Mrs. Fluff. Mr. Fluff always helps me sleep.”

You both giggle at your unique solution. After the moment, the room falls back into comfortable silence.

“Jisung?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think I’ll be alright?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like with the marriage and leaving home. I mean, I know I’ll be fine physically, but do you think I can handle all of this?”

“Y/N, you’re the most intellectual, courageous, and admirable person I know. If anyone can handle it, it would be you. Besides, if you ever need advice or someone to talk to, I’ll always be here, okay? Always.”

“Okay…”

He smiles softly at your form and reaches down to pat your head. You grab hold of his hand and lean your cheek into it.

“I’m glad you’re here, Jisung. Thank you,” you breathe.

His face reddens in the dark, but he keeps his hand where you hold it until sleep takes you from him.

“Princess.”

You sit up automatically and slide your legs off the side of the bed before wobbling to the vanity. Jisung pours you a glass of water, and it’s moments like these that make you think you’re home again.

“Jisung, how many days has it been?”

“This is your third morning.”

You let out a tired sigh, and he raises an eyebrow.

“Is something wrong?”

You shake your head and stretch out your arms. “It’s nothing. Would you call the maids? I shouldn’t keep my fiance waiting at breakfast.”

Jisung flinches at how you addressed Minho. You notice from the reflection of your vanity and now it is your turn to give him a questioning look.

“Is something wrong?” you echo.

“No…” He scratches his hair and draws in a sharp breath. “Well, I’m just not used to you calling him “fiance.” It’s a little…”

“Uncomfortable,” you finish for him.

“Yeah, I-I guess. But I know that’s exactly what he is, so it’s fine. I’m sorry, I’m just being wei--”

“Jisung,” you interrupt. “I won’t call him that if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s fine, really.”

He purses his lips and nods curtly, unsure of what to say next. Then he excuses himself in search of the maid.

Your plan for the day consists of going into town with Minho. The four of you-- you, Minho, and your respective knights-- ride to town all dress in plain clothes to avoid drawing attention to yourselves. The plan, however, proves to be futile for it turns out Minho’s knight frequents the city and is rather popular there.

“Ah, Jin! You look as handsome as ever,” coos an old shopkeeper. “Are these your friends?”

“Good morning, Mrs. Kim. Yes, they are. You’ve met Min, and these are his friends from the kingdom Rachana.”

Both parties exchange greetings and take a look at her merchandise. Minho seems particularly interested in a bird-shaped hairpin. You remember the castle bird garden being just right outside of where you first met Minho and where he had seemed a little distracted. You suppose he really likes birds, and you make a mental note of it. The prince nods secretly to his knight, prompting him to pick up the hairpin and buy it from the woman.

Another female, one much younger this time, spots Hyunjin and promptly struts over.

“Hi, Jin~”

Before long, he has attracted every bachelorette in town during what was supposed to be a quiet outing for the four of you. Minho clears his throat exaggeratedly at the scene, and his knight swears quietly that he did not intend for this and that he most definitely did not do anything indecent during his trips to town despite the offers.

You and Jisung laugh at what is happening before you. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot another stand. This one has stuffed animals lined up in the back of it and some children’s accessories scattered on the table. Making sure the group is occupied for at least a while, you slip out of the crowd and to the vendor.

“Excuse me.”

The storekeeper grunts.

“How much is the squirrel? The third one from the right on the second row.”

“Four bronze.”

“And this?” You lift up a tiny flower pin with white petals and a blue center.

“One.”

You nod and procure the change from your purse. He hands you the products, and you quickly pin the flower to the squirrel’s ear.

“There. Now you are Mrs. Fluff.”

You grin at the squirrel, not very aware of where you are stepping until you step on the hem of someone’s skirt and lose your footing. Just then, an arm shoots out from the crowd and catches you.

“Are you alright, Princess?” Jisung whispers, looking down at you with wide eyes.

“Y-yes. Thank you.”

He helps you stand back up and you tuck the squirrel into your bag for later. Jisung stays attached to your hip for the rest of the day until you either 1) begin to limp in which case he will carry you despite heavy protest or until 2) the four of you get somewhere secluded enough for you to take off your boots and for him to personally check that your ankles are indeed alright. You don’t mind-- you are accustomed to this side of him-- but you are afraid Minho might.

Your worries are misplaced, you soon find out. The prince doesn’t even seem to notice the sudden decrease in space between the two of you. Hyunjin cocks his head in question so you explain what happened, and he lets it go since his master isn’t raising any concern.

Their lack of objection does pique your worries, but for now, you are mostly glad for the blind eye. In hindsight, you realize you should have worried more.

The ball is in full swing. It is your last night at Dancerrith before you and Jisung go back to Rachana, and Minho’s father decides to have a ball to celebrate your first stay. The party started with a dance between you and Minho of course, but now that it’s over, other guests flock to the floor, filling the room and halls with chatter.

Minho motions for you to follow him, and you expect him to introduce you to some of the guests. Instead, he takes you outside. He does so suspiciously too, checking now and then to ensure no one is following the two of you. Your heart speeds up, wondering what your betrothed wants with you alone on the night before your departure. You aren’t sure you are ready for what you think he is going to do, and you definitely aren’t ready for what he actually does.

“I wanted to be transparent since we are going to be married one day,” he starts. “And I know it’ll hurt you, so I want to apologize in advance, but I want to stress that this engagement was entirely done by our fathers. That said, I’m--” You feel sweat forming on your pams-- “I’m actually already in love with someone else.

Sure, you aren’t in love with him either and you aren’t expecting him to be with you, but the pain and feeling of rejection don’t hurt any less. You are going to marry a man who loves somebody else; you are going to spend your life with somebody who will always put you second.

Unintelligible noises escape your lips, and your feet fumble beneath you in attempts to do something-- anything.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, bowing deeply.

“Who?” you finally manage to form.

He bites his lip before answering. “Felixia. The castle bird keeper. We were planning a way to convince my father to let us wed until he announced my engagement.”

You suddenly become aware of your surroundings and realize he has brought you to the bird garden-- the one that had distracted him so much during your first meeting. You remember the bird pin he bought.

You nod numbly and begin stumbling out of there.

“Wait,” he calls.

You stop.

“I really am sorry.”

You bob your head again, not trusting your voice. You curtsy toward him without lifting your head and try to part ways with him again.

You can’t face Jisung right now nor are you in the mood for festivity anymore. Silently, you slip past the crowd and into the safety of your room.

“Ah, of course,” you curse while clutching the foot of your bed for support. “This is stupid,” you say to yourself. The first drop of tears threaten to fall and you wipe it away quickly.

“The marriage? Yeah.”

You turn towards the voice in alarm and find it coming from a man who is standing on your windowsill.

“Who are you?” you demand.

The man smirks. “Your kidnapper.”

You’re tied, gagged, and blindfolded, so the best you can do is shake your hair, hoping some of the blue daisies your maids wove in earlier will drop it onto the ground. You know the trail you leave, if you leave one at all, is too subtle to be noticed, but you try anyway. Soon, the sound of rushing water fills your ears with roars and your heart with fear, marking the end of your flower-dropping attempts.

“Where are you taking me?” sings your kidnapper in an over-exaggerated high-pitched voice that is meant to resemble your own. Although the mockery is uncalled for, the question is what you are thinking.

The wind in your lungs gets knocked out when he tosses you into the ground.

“The afterlife,” responds a different person.

You can hear the sound of others approaching. They are full of laughter and cheers of success. When their greetings come to an end, your kidnapper bends down to your discarded body on the floor.

“Sorry not sorry to do this to ya, lassie, but we can’t have the crown be strengthened by support from Rachana, now can we?”

Before you can reply, he lifts you up and walks towards the water.

“Wait!” calls a voice. “Let’s have some fun first.”

A rupture of cheers ripples through the group.

Your kidnapper turns back towards them. “Shall we?”

It is awful. You wish they had just killed you. Instead, you find yourself dangling upside-down with your head in the water and with a rugged rope tied to your ankle. Every so often, they raise you up to hear your muffled sobs and cries for mercy. You wish you could just die. You try to stop breathing when they pull you up to end it more quickly, but your body doesn’t listen and instead hangs on to your survival instincts.

Your lungs burn. Your ankle’s raw. Your body aches. Pain, pain, pain. Just so much of it.

At some point, you just give up trying. You let the traitors of the crown do what they will and relax. You find yourself able to think once you do so, and you replay Minho’s confession in your thoughts. Perhaps skipping straight to death isn’t so bad if all that life has in store for you is a marriage like that. Jisung would kill you if he knew you thought that.

Jisung. You wish you could see him one more time before you go. You want to thank him for everything he has done for you, even though you know your thanks won’t be enough. You want to tell him not to feel guilty or miss you. Jisung. There’s so much to tell him…

And maybe you can.

The pressure around your ankle suddenly releases. A hand drags you out of the water and onto dry land, and then unties your gag and holds you close to its main body. Sweet air fills your lungs and the relief is so strong, your legs give out from under you.

“Who are you?” your kidnapper demands.

Your savior answers with a dangerous growl, “Me? I’m Han Jisung, first lieutenant of the Rachana army and--” his sword rings loud and clear against the crashing of the river as he unsheathes it-- “Personal knight of Her Royal Highness, Y/N.”

Jisung takes care of the traitors quickly; he isn’t your personal knight for nothing. Steel weapons clash against one another, and you lose track of where exactly Jisung’s sword is. The enemy surround him, but with a quick turn, they all fall flat onto the ground with a slash of red across each of their torso. Hatred fills Jisung’s eyes like you have never seen before. Those who can still crawl away do as his weapon glint under the moonlight with intent. Soon, the heavy chorus of gasping literally dies down until only Jisung’s remain. Then, as if regaining his senses, he cuts one of his breaths off half way and snaps his head up to look at you with wide, panicked eyes. Almost instantly, he is by your side again, sword tucked and forgotten by his waist.

“Princess…” He brushes a dripping droplet of water off your face with his thumb.

“I’m alright, Jisung.”

Despite your reassurance, he still furrows his brows. “I’m sorry I’m late, Princess. How could I let this happen? I’ve failed you as your knight. If you want me to stab myself right now, I’ll--”

“No!” You pounce and latch onto him, shivering. He, surprised by your sudden action, topples onto his bottom with alarm at your proximity.

“No, you can’t,” you repeat, more shakenly this time. “At least you have to stay by my side.”

Jisung’s expression softens after hearing your words. He deduces you’re shaking from either the coldness of your wet dress or the lingering fear from nearly drowning. Either way, he wraps his arms securely around you and pulls you closer to him.

“As you wish, Princess,” he whispers with a secret smile.

The two of you stay in your entangled position for a while. You let his heartbeat lull you back to a sense of security and his scent, a sense of familiarity. His steady breathing and stroking fingers almost tuck you into slumber, but he stops you.

“If you fall asleep in your wet dress, you’ll catch a cold.”

You push yourself of his chest with a groan, and he curses himself for speaking so early. Feeling bold, he keeps his fingertips lingering on yours even after he helps you stand.

"I believe I left the horse over there. Can you walk? Would you like me to carry you?" he offers.

You reject his offer but allow his hand to stay.

"How did you find me?" you ask.

He blinks as if confused. "You dropped your hair flowers, didn't you?"

“I didn’t think anyone would be able to see those.”

“If it’s about you, I’ll notice it,” he hums absent-mindedly.

The words sound so natural coming from his lips, but it still causes an unfamiliar heat to rise in your cheeks.

“W-well, that’s good?” you comment.

Jisung jaw drops a little after realizing what he has said. “I mean-- !”

“Princess Y/N!”

The sound of the Dancerrith army draws near. You drop your hand from Jisung’s and walk to his steed.

“Shall we go meet them?” you suggest.

“L-let’s.”

During your ride back to Rachana, you ponder on the idea of your kidnapping persuading your father to cancel the marriage. After all, Dancerrith looks irresponsible not only for letting you be kidnapped under their watch in the first place, but also not being the one to rescue you. Surely, they have shown inability to protect you, the king’s first daughter. Your dreams, however, are soon crushed when you see your castle’s messenger riding towards your carriage at full speed.

“Princess Y/N!” he calls.

The carriage pulls to a stop and Jisung holds apart the curtains for you to talk to him.

“It’s your father, His Majesty the King!” he begins. “He’s fallen very ill. Your brother has too, but he is progressively getting better, unlike the king. Something is spreading through the castle!”

Jisung turns to you anxiously. “Princess, we can take shelter at the villa until--”

“No,” you interrupt. “I need to see him.”

“Princess Y/N, Lord Jisung is right; it isn’t advisable to--”

“My father is dying and I do not know what is to become of my brother,” you snap, and both the males shrink a little.

Jisung is the first to speak of the two. “Alright, but if you fall ill--” you train your eyes on him, almost daring him to challenge you. “-- you can’t tell me to stay away from you.”

You flinch at the surprisingly effective threat. “Well, I…” You sigh in defeat. “Fine. It isn’t like you would listen to me even if I did.”

Jisung nods and gives the driver instructions to proceed without change to the route. You quickly thank the messenger and sit impatiently for the rest of the ride.

The first person you see is your brother who greets you from his study balcony as soon as you arrive at the castle.

"Y/N? I thought you were returning later today," Chan shouts then bursts into a fit of coughs.

"Brother! I came as quickly as I could after learning you and Father are ill," you shout back. "Don't move; I'll be right up to see you."

"No! Y/N, I'm not feeling we--"

You are already inside the structure before he could finish his sentence. Just as quickly as you entered his study, he is out of it while being dragged by you.

“The sick should be resting, not running kingdoms," you exclaim when he tries to protest.

"But the irrigation--"

"It will be fine; Father and I can take care of it."

That makes him so dead on his tracks. "Have you… Have you seen him yet? Father, I mean."

You realize the change in atmosphere and realize what you had said. "Not yet… I have heard he isn't doing well at all. How is he?"

Chan's reply is interrupted by a fit of coughing, but the look he gives you above his elbow says more than enough.

You nod grimly before walking your brother the rest of the way to his room in silence. You head straight for the king's chambers afterwards with a palpitating heart.

"Father…"

The door creaks open as you enter. The air smells brooding and the room is filled with coughs of its master along with the occasional slushing of blood and vomit. How can you even mention a trivial problem such as your marriage right now?

"Princess," greets the maids inside. You note the human bile stains on their aprons.

You return a quick greeting before asking about your father. "How long has he been like this?"

"Three days, Your Highness."

"His conditions?"

"Cough, vomiting, chills and fever, and complaints of difficulty breathing," they answer.

You look at your father who, other than the coughing, lays lifeless under his blankets. You take his hand gently in yours and brush it, trying to reassure him even in his unconsciousness that you are right by his side.

"Is he always vegetated like this?"

"No, he wakes up for a few minutes at a time."

As if on cue, your father moans and shuffles the sheets.

"Water…" he groans.

"Yes, Your Majesty." A maid quickly grabs the cup on his table.

"Wait!" you order. "Where is that water from?”

“The central pump, Your Highness. That is where all the water from the castle is from.”

You take the cup from her hand and swirl its contents. White flakes float up.

The maids and you look at each other in horror.

“I will filter and boil it right away!” they squeak.

You nod, and after one last look at your father, hightail out of the room with a new sense of purpose. Outside, Jisung is waiting for you.

“Princess. How is he?” he asks while quickening his pace to match your step.

You shake your head with your lips pressed in a thin line. Jisung sucks in a sharp breath.

“Would you like to lay down for a little? This must be hard for you to take in, especially after what happened last night too.”

“I’m fine,” you reply. “There is much to do. I think there is something wrong with the water source. My--”

“Princess Y/N!” calls a voice followed by rapid footsteps. You recognize him as one of your father’s scribes. “The northwestern territories need your attention!”

Jisung stops him. “The princess is busy at the moment and highly susceptible to the disease in the castle right now. Please see if Lord--”

“No, it’s fine,” you interject Jisung. Turning to the scribe you add, “Please leave the information on my desk. Also, I need a report of every event that happened near or on the water sources that lead to the central pump in the last month.”

The scribe bows quickly with a “Yes, Your Highness!” before scurrying away to carry out your commands.

“Princess, you nearly died not fifteen hours ago,” Jisung reminds you worriedly.

“And that’s fifteen hours I have had to recover,” you return. “Jisung, I have noticed our hygiene standards at the castle has fallen; the maids who are serving my father has his vomit and blood on their aprons. Tell the head nurse and maid to thoroughly check the castle for anything that can spread this illness and issue an order that any sight of dirt on anyone will cost them five percent of their wages for the day.”

Jisung's motions stutter as if he is about to continue pressing his point but thought better of it. He has been around your long enough to recognize the tone you are using and understand the importance of your priorities.

“Yes, Princess,” he bows.

The two of you part ways, and you walk confidently to your study knowing you can consider the tasks you’ve given him done.

“The rupture by the river has been completely fixed as of yesterday. We tested it again twice today and found no further complications,” Jisung reads off the report.

Tears brim your eyes as you urgently swallow your saliva.

He continues. “Two more have fallen ill within the last 24 hours, but eight have fully recovered in that same timeframe. His Highness the Crowned Prince is scheduled to return to his business within the next two days.”

He looks up at you when you don’t comment on anything he’s saying. You find yourself unable to hold yourself back anymore and erupt into an attack of coughs.

“Princess!”

The report is dropped onto the ground as he rushes to your side. He holds a glass to your lips and you sense the cool taste of juice-- your temporary substitution for water-- slide down your throat.

“Princess?” he says again, looking up from his kneeling position by your chair to read your face.

“I just choked,” you lie while avoiding his gaze. “Is there any news about our trade with the country of Seungtinal?”

Jisung narrows his eyes but lets it go for now. He continues reading the report per your request, but he isn’t going to turn a blind eye to it any longer when you clutch your stomach in pain as another series of coughs escape your lungs.

“You need to see the doctor and rest,” he presses.

“Let me finish signing some documents first,” you dismiss.

Jisung rolls up the report and roughly drops it onto your desk, causing you to look up from your paperwork at him. A thin frown adorned his lips as he stares at you unblinkingly. You gulp under your knight’s gaze and feel your grip on your pen loosen.

“Your brother will be back tomorrow,” he reminds you in an icy tone. “Your uncle has also recovered; the kingdom will be fine for one afternoon.”

“I suppose…” you squeak.

He sends you another sharp look at your weak response, and you are about to squeak again if it weren’t for another cough attack.

You aren’t sure when Jisung was behind your desk again, but before you know it, you are swept up in his arms and well on your way to the infirmary. You lift your head in between coughs and see that his earlier sharp features are replaced with ones of worry. No, ones of fear.

“Jisung,” you manage, “I’ll go to the infirmary now. I’ll be fine.”

“How do you know that?” he shouts.

“J-jisung?”

“All you do is work and work and refuse to take care of yourself no matter how hard I try to get you to! Your father is already--” He cuts himself off before continuing more softly. “I know I’m already going to lose you in three weeks. Please don’t leave me before that.”

He presses your head against his chest to prevent you from seeing his face, but you don’t even need to hear his haggard breathing to know he is feeling. You raise your hand and place it on top of his heart, taking a fistful of his uniform. You breathe in his scent, letting his warmth engulf you again.

“I’m sorry…”

"..."

"It's tomorrow."

Jisung silently stares at your back as you stroke your father's unmoving arm.

"Father, I'm leaving tomorrow!" you reiterate, louder. "Can't you wake up to see me off? You're the reason why I'm leaving in the first place; won't you at least let me hear your voice one last time?"

You wait in vain with illogical hope that he would respond and drop your head into his bed when he doesn't.

"Father… Father, I'm scared. I want to be strong, but I need your help; I need your courage. If… if you wake up now, I won't ask you to void the marriage. I won't even complain or cry. Just… please wake up."

You feel a hand on your shoulder and turn around when you recognize it isn't Jisung's.

"Y/N "

Your brother pulls you towards him and away from your father. You follow him obediently and the three of you-- two sobbing and one unconscious-- spend one last night together as a family.

“I don’t want to leave,” you confess.

“I know,” he replies gently.

“He doesn't love me; I don't love him!”

“...”

“Brother, I…”

“Just say the words, Y/N. Say what you want, and I’ll get you out of this.”

Still, you shake your head. “This is for Rachana-- your future kingdom. I just wish he’d wake up…”

“Me too, Y/N, me too.”

“Princess.” Jisung moves closer to you when you don’t budge. “Princess, it’s time to wake up.”

“Jisung.” He is surprised to hear you sound completely awake. “Will you carry me one more time?”

He sniffles a sob. “As you wish, Princess.”

He reaches down for your arms and circles them around his neck before he lifts you up and off of your mattress. He gently sets you down in front of your vanity and pours you a glass of water. Tomorrow, he won’t be the one waking you up. Tomorrow, you’ll be greeted first thing in the morning with a white dress. A stupid color, he thinks; you’ve always preferred blue.

“Jisung?”

“Yes, Princess?”

“Thank you.”

He smiles bittersweetly, knowing you mean to thank him for more than just carrying you off your bed. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and goes off to let your maid in as usual.

You and Jisung set for Dancerrith again; Chan and some of your close relatives have to take care of some domestic business first. Besides, there is a premarital ball you have to get ready for.

You are still replaying the image of your castle growing smaller as some Dancerrith maids tighten your dress and slip on your shoes. You haven’t even seen Minho yet, not that you blame him for it-- it’s his last few moments as a single man and you aren’t exactly in the mood to face him either.

Jisung is there to greet you when you are ready, this time with a deep bow. “The guests and His Highness are waiting in the hall,” he announces.

You nod and dismiss the maids. You brush past Jisung to walk ahead of him as usual, but this time, you slide your hand into his and hide them behind your back, tightly and tremblingly. Jisung gives the back of your head a questioning look but remains silent. When the two of you arrive at the grand doors to the hall, you release your grasp for him to open the door, leaving both of you feeling cold.

You walk through the doors to face the gaping crowd that whispers your name across the room. You thought you could do this-- you really did-- but now that reality is in front of you, you want nothing more than to run back to Rachana and shut yourself in your room forever. The crowd is so alien and overwhelming. Their whispers sound like roaring thunder to your ears.

Everyone’s staring.

Everyone’s pointing.

Your right heel slides back an inch, ready to act on--

“Princess, I’m besides you.”

With those four words, the world falls back into place again. You let out the breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding and straighten out your back. You nod and inhale deeply before striding to your fiance.

Minho looks nothing short of grand standing on the stage with an outstretched hand towards you. You notice he is wearing powder under his eyes-- the one your brother uses when he is trying to hide his puffy eyes from you. You doubt Minho’s are puffy from sleep deprivation, however. You take his palm, linking one broken soul with the other, and join him on the stage.

“People of Dancerrith,” Minho announces after a deep breath. “May I present to you my future wife and the future queen of Dancerrith!”

A cheer erupts and glasses clink against each other. You smile and wave to the crowd like you have been taught, but you can’t help but shift your gaze back to one particular spot in the room.

Jisung stands motionless with an unreadable expression. His lips are slightly parted but with no words intended to come out of them. Before you can analyze any further, Minho has already taken you to the dance floor. A light melody from the castle’s quartet carries throughout the hall, and you fall into step with him.

“How’s, um,” you try to break the ice when the room starts filling with chatter again.

“Felixia?” he finishes for you.

You nod uncertainty, hoping to not have offended him.

“She’s doing well.” He laughs dryly. “At least as well as she can be right now.”

“I’m sorry…”

“No, don’t be,” he shakes his head. “This is none of our fault. I’ll just… I’ll just have to accept it. You must have had a harder time than me, having to leave home entirely.”

“It… it’s a different pain,” you sigh.

“How’s Jisung?”

“Jisung? Why do you ask?”

“Isn’t he-- Nevermind. How is he?”

“Alright. Disheartened from having to leave home, I’m sure, but we’ll both adapt,” you reply, feeling a strange sense of dejavu.

You catch sight of Jisung again after a turn. He has on the same unreadable expression, but one thing is for sure: you both cannot wait for the ball to be over.

When all the twirling and music comes to an end, however, you soon come to regret your wish because now all that stands between you and your inevitable marriage is a night of restless sleep.

“Goodnight, Your Highness,” your maids bow after completely preparing you for bed.

“Goodnight,” you return.

As soon as they leave, a knock sounds from your and Jisung’s connecting door. You open the door and find him standing closer to it than you expect. Your breath hitches and your emotions fight between hugging him and savoring his presence or hugging him and crying your eyes out.

“Princess? Are you alright?”

“I- I am. Did you need something, Jisung?”

“I just came to say ‘goodnight’ and to see if you needed anything since you must be a little restless right now,” he replies.

“No, no. I’m fine,” you answer.

He looks disappointed and sighs, “Alright, I will see you in the morning then.”

“Wait, Jisung!” you call.

He turns back around immediately.

“I have something for you,” you continue. “Things… Things will be a little different from now on; we might not have as much time alone anymore, so I want to give this to you while I still have the chance.”

You bring to the doorway two stuffed squirrels and give him the one with a flower pinned to it. “Thank you for being here for me all these years, and thank you for continuing to be with me.” You shake your head, trying to clear it and to keep your voice from cracking, but it doesn’t work. “Thank you for being my knight, my friend, and my cornerstone. And even though…. Even though I’m getting married off to some prince in a strange new land, I know I’ll be okay cause you’re here with me. You’re always staying so strong for my sake even when I can’t do the same for you because I’m so scared right now, but that’s not the point, but I’m just… I’m just so scared…”

Your knees give out and you collapse onto the carpet. “I’m sor--”

He cuts you off. “Shh, don’t be sorry,” he whispers. “If you’re scared, then keep leaning on my strength.”

He swoops you up off the ground and onto your bed. He leans against your headrest while still keeping you buried in his arms and stroking your back.

You cry for what feels like the hundredth time this week, and you spill to him all your worries and regrets.

“Will we ever grow to love each other?” you sob at one point.

“I don’t know, Princess. I hope so.”

“What if he never comes to love me? What if he hates me?”

Jisung lets out a light scoff. “It would be impossible for someone not to fall in love with you.”

“How do you know?”

He flinches, and his grip on you tightens. You sigh, knowing he won’t answer, and turn back to your paranoia.

“You’ll have to stop saying things like that to me.” Your voice is a murmur now. “I wish I could have created more memories with you, Jisung. I mean, I know we have plenty already, but I don’t think I can ever create enough with you. I know you aren’t leaving, but things aren’t going to be the same anymore, will it?”

“No,” he agrees heartbrokenly.

“Remember that time Changbin dared you to ask out the baron’s daughter?” you giggle.

“I was thirteen!” he defends himself.

“‘Excuse me, fair lady, do you have a betrothed?’”

“Hey!”

You laugh at his embarrassing memory, and he is quick to join you. He returns one of your memories, and you return another of his. The two of you share both sweet and funny moments of the past until the conversation falls into another comfortable silence.

You are the first to break it.

“Thank you,” you whisper. You can feel sleep overtaking your consciousness and again you are reminded of what’s to come upon waking up. “Thank you,” you repeat with another break in your voice. “I’ll never find someone like you again.”

“You won’t have to; I’m not leaving,” he reminds you.

“But it won’t be the same!” you object. “We can’t be in a position like this ever again, and I… I wish you could hold me like this forever.”

Jisung’s heart skips a beat. His palms grow sweaty and his breathing shallows. "P--"

“I- I wish I were marrying you instead!” you choke honestly.

You feel Jisung’s body shift uncomfortably. “Princess, you… you can’t say things like this now; it… it isn’t fair to either of us.”

You look up at him with glassy eyes. A tear slips down Jisung’s face as he raises a shaking hand towards your face. His chivalrous front begins crumbling as your words echo over and over in his ears and he twists his body to better face yours.

“--sung,” you whisper as his fingers trail over the side of your face and cupping your chin at the end.

“Is this… is this okay?” he asks timorously.

You give the slightest of nods-- one so small, it would seem invisible to anyone but your own knight. You suck in a shaky breath that parts your lips and quivers the lower one, and that is the last breath you take for a while.

It is soft and fearful but undoubtedly sincere. Jisung moves slowly but doesn’t neglect to brush away your tears and comb your hair. You lean towards him as well, falling into sync with his motions. Your fingers curl around the back of his shirt in fear of being pulled away from this moment and away from him. The thought makes you tear up again, but Jisung washes them away with more gentle butterflies on your lips until the two of you-- for the last time-- fall asleep blissfully in each other’s arms.

Jisung is nowhere to be seen the next morning when the maids burst into your room in a frenzy and with your dress. You try to keep one hand under the blankets as they help you with your morning routine to savor the last of his warmth, but before you know it, it is time for you to change, and there is no other place for you to do so other than in front of the full-length mirrors meters away from the bed.

“You’re so pretty!” they all coo when they finish the final knots to your dress. “This will be the greatest wedding of the century!”

You lift your eyes to look into the mirrors. White hangs from your frame bleakly. Black dusts your lashes forebodingly. Red glosses your lips with regret.

Your maids secure your wedding veil on your head and indicate for you to bring it over your face. You gingerly clasp the material between two fingers on each side and shakily begin to draw it to the front. You take one last look at your sunken features before releasing the veil.

The wedding bells make your entire system vibrate as you stand outside of the cathedral. You place your hand on Jisung who will ironically deliver you to your future husband. It should have been your father doing so, or even Chan, but you heard in the morning that an emergency in your kingdom arose last night. So, of all people, they assigned your knight for the position. Your knight who can’t even look at you and understandably so.

You don’t look at him either as you grow closer to leaving him behind at the bottom of the altar for you both know what would happen if you did. Instead, you train your focus on Minho who does not look any better than you.

“Who gives this woman to this man in marriage?” reads the reverend.

“Her father does,” Jisung replies lifelessly before he places your right hand on Minho’s left and heads to his seat.

The reverend continues with his speech, and you take the time to look around the audience. Indeed, none of the people from Rachana who promised to come are here, and you begin worrying about what happened. You also catch a glimpse of Felixia standing by a cage of doves. Her usually firey ponytail drapes lifelessly over her wedding uniform.

“--speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Your attention snaps back to the moment. You swallow a lump in your throat, hanging on to your last strand of hope. Jisung and Felixia shift in their spots but are powerless to do anything.

Silence hangs in the air until the reverend continues, “Then by the power of--”

“Wait!” cries a familiar voice.

The doors to the cathedral burst open, and your brother rushes in. “I object!”

Minho’s father stands and whips around. “This marriage is a state matter! Who do you think you are to--”

Chan holds out his hand and Changbin puts a scepter into it. “The king of Rachana, and I object to the marriage of the first princess of my kingdom.”

You aren’t sure how to feel about the news. On one hand, your wishes have come true; your chest is erupting with bubbles of glee and hope once again floods through your veins. On the other, you’ve figured out what the emergency in your kingdom is.

You aren’t really given the chance to process your emotions either. Chaos ensued in the cathedral after Chan’s announcement. At some point, Dancerrith’s king hollars, “Fine! Wedding cancelled then. I hope Rachana is ready for the repercussions of breaking an agreement with Dancerrith!”

“No,” both you and Minho object in unison.

You look over to him and gesture for him to speak first. He is all smiles at this point.

“Dancerrith’s relationships with Rachana will only strengthen if King Chan and Princess Y/N of Rachana will allow it,” declares Minho. “They have given me a chance to be with someone I truly love again, and I am eternally indebted for it.”

“Nor is the wedding over,” you add on. You take off your veil and offer it on Felixia who is staring at the scene with wide, uncomprehending eyes.

Minho joins you by her side and kneels on one knee. “Felixia, you are the love of my life. Will you marry me?”

Felixia agrees enthusiastically, and the audience erupts in cheers. The reverend quickly revises his script and invites the two to the altar while the king of Dancerrith has no choice but to stumble back into his chair, scoffing and dizzy.

Chan gives you a quick pat on your head.

You swallow a lump in your throat before tearing your eyes away from the wedding and turning to your brother. “So Father lost his battle...”

Chan nods, confirming your fears. You purse your lips and downcast your eyes.

“He’s in a better place now,” he assures you. “He was suffering a lot before.”

“I understand,” you nod.

Chan ruffles your hair with a smile and pushes you towards a set of awaiting arms. “Come on, there is something else you should be thinking of right now.”

Your knight is crying shamelessly of mixed emotions. You mouth “thank you” to your brother before pulling out a handkerchief and joining Jisung’s waterworks.

Between tying loose ends with Dancerrith and your father’s funeral, you weren’t really able to spend much personal time with Jisung after returning back to Rachana. You are stressed by the amount of tasks and the loss of your father, but overall, you are just grateful to be home.

You hear the door to your study open and someone walking in.

“Jisung, would you get me the file on Dancerrith’s trading ports please?”

You scribble a few more words on the proposal edit you are working on but stop when you realize no one’s responding to your request.

“Jisung?”

You look up to see not your knight, but a bundle of brown fur being brought far too close to your face.

“Who’s Jisung?” The blob of brown shakes as it speaks.

You chuckle. “Mr. Fluff, what are you doing here?”

“You’ve been busy, busy, busy and ignoring me for days,” he humphs. “Play with me and relax! I haven’t even introduced you to the squirrel I’ve been courting lately.”

“Courting? Oh, you mean Mrs. Fluff! Aren’t you married already?”

Mr. Fluff shakes his body from side to side. “We haven’t had a proper wedding yet!” he complains.

You laugh, “Let’s change that then,” and take the stuffie into your hands.

Jisung finally comes into view as you do so. The edges of his lips are tugged into a soft smile and his head is tilted ever so slightly as he looks at you. You blush under his gaze and clear your throat.

“P-put Mrs. Fluff on the table too.” You gesture to the squirrel in his other hand.

Jisung does as you ask and you begin the ceremony.

“Do you, Mr. Fluff, take Mrs. Fluff to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

“I do,” Jisung answers in his squirrel-voice. “I vow to love you and care for you in sorrow and in joy. I come with all my faults and strength and take you for all of yours. I choose you as the squirrel with whom I will spend my life.”

He returns to his normal voice. “Do you, Mrs. Fluff, take Mr. Fluff to be your husband, your partner in life whom you will care for through success and failure and whom you will nurture and grow with until death do you part?”

“I do,” you reply. “I take you to be my husband, loving that I know of you and trusting what I do not yet know. I will fall in love a little more with you each day and promise to cherish you through whatever life brings upon us.”

“Then by the name of the Rachana Court, I pronounce you--” he leans forward over your desk “-- squirrel and wife” --and kisses you.

~ ad.gold

Epilogue

Jisung arranges the two squirrels so that their tails form a heart shape together.

“Okay,” he puffs. “Today’s the day. I’m going to be able to do it today.”

He smiles at the squirrels and pats them on their heads. “Wish me luck!”

Jisung marches over to the king’s study for the fifth time that week with a strong intention in mind. The guards at the door sigh loudly upon seeing him again.

“Name?” they groan without spirit.

“Han Jisung. First lieutenant and Princess Y/N’s personal knight.”

“And your intended business with the King?”

“It’s classified.”

The guards sigh. “Lord Jisung, I know you really want to talk to the King, but we can’t let just anyone enter. His Majesty is incredibly busy, so either come back with a reason for us to open the doors for you, or please give up.”

“Surely King Chan has had classified information reported to him. You must have had let those people enter, so surely there’s something you can do to allow me entrance.”

The guards sigh again. “Alright, fine. Is your business a state emergency?”

“Well… i-it depends on how you look at--”

“YES, YES IT IS A STATE EMERGENCY!” Chan yells as he throws open the doors himself. “Jisung, I’ve been waiting for you to come for months and have been listening to that same conversation you have with the guards for days! Come into my office and state your business instantly!”

Jisung does as he is told obediently. Once inside, he tries to close the doors behind him gently, but Chan quickly grabs the handles and slams them shut.

“Your Majesty,” Jisung begins, “I’m here today to--”

“For goodness sake, just say it,” Chan orders with impatience.

Jisung takes in a sharp breath and squeezes his eyes shut “I want to ask for Princess Y/N’s hand in marriage! Will you give me your blessing?”

“YES!” Chan screams again. “Yes, of course, yes! Oh, finally!”

“F-finally?”

Chan gives Jisung a mischievous smirk then boots the young knight out of his study. Jisung stands like a statue in the hallway outside, still stunned by how smoothly things went. Little did he know, in two months’ time, hundreds of people will be flooding into the castle cathedral, and all of them will be greeted at the door by a display case containing a squirrel and his wife.

~ ad.gold

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