AIO: My GF (20F) has been ignoring me (21M) and she's making me feel crazy
I feel insane guys please help me. She has bpd so i'm not sure if she's just overwhelmed or something. For a long time now she's been continuously ignoring me. On the rare occasion she does reply to me it's typically just a thumbs up reaction, if that. The last few days she's been extremely dry and unresponsive and hasn't texted me back for the first time until around 3-4pm. Am i the overreacting??
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (71% confidence)
Top comment: “NOR I think your nervous system is reacting appropriately to the distant vibe that's going on here. Is it possible that there was some triggering event outside of the two of you talking that could've initiated the behavior from them? Or is this a common occurrence?”
Notable explanation: “NOR. She’s being aloof. You’re sharing your feelings (that she feels distant) and she flips that into “you’re mad,” which isn’t actually acknowledging what you’re feeling, but instead, reduces those feelings into an dismissive emotional state. She shows no desire to understand your feelings or talk through them towards mutual understanding.
Mind you, I don’t know much about BPD, but it seems she doesn’t have the capacity for a relationship right now. That’s valid, especially when it’s due to a mental health issue. However, it’s probably not fair to either of you to continue a relationship when one or both are not ready and/or lack capacity. I say both because - you might not also have the capacity to be with someone with BPD if there’s no resolve. The aloofness may be a result of childhood trauma, or, it could be the BPD, or both. However, if therapy can’t help make things better, or, she has no desire to find a resolve, then it’s better for both of you to cut your losses.”
Originally shared by Appropriate_Union762 on r/AmIOverreacting on January 4th, 2026 at 2:52 AM UTC. Credit to u/yamacookies and u/Brave_Salamander1662 for the quoted comments.