Whatever whatever whatever I can say it just once it's all about opening the door & it replays over & over & big winter coat & mask up and the stupid fucking sunglasses, way too tall & looking straight down standing too close and looking straight up and the stupid sunglasses so dark you can't see through them from like two inches away & opening the door & it's cold even though it's 34 fucking floors up you still feel the cold from outside and the obnoxious goddamn sunglasses, and who wears sunglasses inside in winter anyway and always taller than I remember and then it's too late & too confident & the knock is too loud & opening the door & it snowed, I didn't think it would snow but it did, and it didn't matter at all and there were too many people on the streets & opening the door & steering with a hand on the back of the neck & opening the door & carefully positioning your fingers over old bruises & opening the door & the stupid fucking sunglasses & opening the door & the real confusion & if I ever need closure it's gonna have to be the sunglasses