#3 things project

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3 things I’m grateful for

1. A cat who has finally clocked into her job as ESA

2. A really good boss

3. The benefits of marriage. God today was so hard even coming home— Grieving, scared— to come home to my wife. To be the person she needed that put a piece of me in place.

Things I’m excited about

1. 4th of July weekend. Triple couple hangout

2. My job

3. The idea of having a regular work life balance (eventually right???)

Things that made me happy

- being a college graduate

- working with intelligent people

- good leftover pizza

- great music right now

- my brother called me

- this nj life

[nopppeeee]

3 things

1. Wonderful wedding day, with wonderful surprises, the best people around me, and a great party. A beautiful bride who took me on the best honeymoon ever.

2. Friends. It feels so good. I will always be grateful to have now what I once didn’t.

Going to Kzoo today for a long weekend with some great friends (you don’t just have any old schmuck officiate your wedding)

3. Good books. Nesta’s healing journey heals a bit of me each time I read it.

I’m excited

1. Graduation even if it means leaving this chapter behind and having to deal with starting the next one

2. Moving to a nicer place and having nicer things. Finally

3. For good food and loving my body

[nopppeeee]

Abundance

Secure friendship, i remember, vividly points in my life where I felt like I had no one in my support system/no one I could actually talk to about what I was feeling or thinking except one person. I remember feeling cut out of social circles and feeling the ever lingering threat of being left alone, left out or behind. I am so glad that I now have my village. I have people who when I am having a hard time at work with the kids I teach I know they will respond, theyll have good advice or they will be there to relate with me. I have people who come over, people who reach out, people who say theyre always just a phone call away. I dont have to count the days until my next social engagement. I can sit with my own company without feeling intense shame about not trying harder to be with other people.

While it might not feel abundant income. Financial stability. I have been much more down bad for cash. Now I have a life partner who I know has my back in case of emergency. I am getting better on reaching out to my parents and relying on them. I have a ob. Looking back now I know it isnt normal for a kid who is 11 to be so worried about her parents making ends meet that she is going and buying her own back to school shoes. Yeah my parents put up a little fight when I wanted expensive stuff but that isnt because they couldnt afford it, it was just not what they would personally prioritize their money towards. I am relearning how to navigate finances with my parents. The more we have open conversations about it the more I learn that it really isnt make or break. And the more times I see that example shown to me the more it is cemented in my brain in a way that assuages my anxiety.

Freedom to roam. I am so glad I know, deep down that I can go wherever I want. Whether that be traveling or moving. I know my parents are good without me, I know my other family members are going to be ok. I know that I will be ok and that my support spans multiple forms and will be there for me no matter where I am. As politics are all that I see right now I am constantly reminded that there are people who do not control where they live and what state laws they have to abide by. And I am grateful for my abundance of freedom and autonomy.

[nopppeeee]

Three Things Kind of

I have not written in forever so this is going to be a stream of consciousness kind of thing with vague formatting like my three things project.

I am grateful for:

my productivity and ability to learn and grown in the environment I have found myself in. I kind of killed today. I got all my work done and fixed my flashcards for last week's orgo. Went over some concepts I was confused about. I love the fact that I get to learn and go to college. I am so glad I am not stuck like many of the other people I graduated college with. I am moving forward. I am excited about where I am going. I am freaking applying to a professional graduate program this year!!!

My individuality. I spent some time alone with myself today and its been longer than what it should have been. I am just so busy with school and extracurriculars that I feel the need to fill my free time hanging with friends. Like this weekend I went to three different places to hang with three different friend groups and while that is fun and also while I enjoy spending so much time with my lover I still found this evening to be so relaxing. I found myself enjoying hobbies and doing things I havent done in so long. I think maybe later in the semester when life is busier or harder i will do my bagel date with myself again. I just miss sitting in the union with my favorite food and spending time with myself.

Communication even though it is hard sometimes. I still find myself not saying all of the best things all the time and I still find myself getting nervous about saying the wrong things and having my own little spirals of self hatred that fling through my brain really quickly but I want to be better at it. and that is really different for me. And i still get little triggers and I still have cringe flashback moments where I feel like I havent grown an inch but I need to just remind myself that i most definitely have.

I am excited for:

going back home next week to go see Kokomo's Marching Wildkats senior night. showing anily what I spent all summer working on. maybe getting to introduce her to some pretty important people to me.

Meeting my niece! a new little baby. with little baby feet and toes and that fresh baby smell. If I had a little more money I would be spoiling the heck out of my little goddaughter!

I am trying really hard to be excited about Notre dame football game (should be easy day relatively) and my orgo quiz tomorrow. I studied differently and I want to see a difference so badly!

Things that made me happy

discovering good music

when chicken hits really freaking hard (I miss chicken wings)

drinking out of wine glasses makes me feel fancy and grown up

saw a really cute dog today

nice and well organized flashcards

[nopppeeee]

Three Things

Im grateful for:

The love that surrounds me all the time. That I get to listen to her voice and feel desired and cared for

The emotional maturity I have worked to develop. I am so grateful that I can have a reaction and be able to calmly reflect on it and where it came from and work on how to manage it. Long-distance is hard and it makes us sad but we are in it together it has always been us together against this situation.

Mr blessings class teaching me how to write good papers. Im writing my FIRST college paper right now how is that. This is my last English class already hehehe we love speeding through prereqs

Im excited for:

Another week working a guard job full time. I am so glad I got promoted and I am doing this full-time its going to be so much money and it is so easy working long hours at a job that I actually like. This is a first for me

Finishing the odyssey and starting on my third epic poem for the summer. I am a little surprised by how readable this book has been.

my first guard paycheck. It has three weeks of work on it so it is going to be HEAFTY. I need some retail therapy (guilt free) after all of the stressors hitting me at once.

Things that made me happy

Getting a day off to relax today

working the haynes apperson parade not marching it. It was fun and Taylor yelled that I looked nice as I walked by. (compliments yum)

cooking. I folded really attractive breakfast burritos

seeing the pictures that anily thinks I look nice in. It is interesting to see myself through her eyes just a little bit. Beats away all the negativity

I sat outside to watch one of my lectures at the new picnic table that was nice if not a little hot.

I am about to go to bed thank god

[nopppeeee]

Three Things

Im grateful for:

I think I got the job. So thats cool. i hope i dont hate it.

im not taking classes right now. calc 2 is going to kick my ass but i'll survive.

I am dating the most attractive person on the Purdue Color Guard team. There was a reason I crushed on her and not anyone else. And look where it got me. Thats all my good karma right there.

Im excited to:

take a bath

make some money

to get a haircut

Things that made me happy

talking to anily on the phone

eating good food

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Three Things

w/ miss anily again. Ugh I love love love love love her.

I'm grateful for:

I think I have a job. Megan wanted to relax but I am literally just not made for that. It is not something that comes easy to me. So i guess i am grateful that once I decided to get a job one fell into my lap. Hopefully I like it.

This long distance thing is getting easier. I feel loved she does too. thats really all that needs to happen. I am grateful for facetime. And the US postal service I guess.

I am grateful for a bestie that lets me decide what we listen to. All the time. in every car ride. No matter how long.

Im excited for:

To have money again. To be less worried about my finances next year when i have big girl bills other than from school.

To share another sunday morning with anily merino. its been too long. I am listening to the song sunday morning w her. And thinking of the perfect day when I added that song to that playlist.

my next pedicure. I dont know when itll happen but one has got to happen soon.

Things that made me happy

anilys eyes

memories of dancing with anily.

sitting and talking to kiersten felt like the good ol days (of last summer lol)

that i am not in high school anymore. or in high school drama. or with someone in high school.

[nopppeeee]

Three Things Project

With Miss anily <3 I love how she does these with me it just feels really thoughtful. It brings me joy to do this and I like that we can share it some nights. I am grateful for her doing this but that is not going to be one of my formal three things! I've got a lot to be grateful for.

I'm grateful for:

kiersten, Falling back into the swing of hanging out like we used to. It was like riding a bike. I was worried for nothing.

my final grades for this semester. I wanted to bring my overall GPA up to a 3.73 and I actually brought it up to a 3.77 (from a 3.62) which is a pretty big jump for one semester. i almost got a 4.0 which is really good. All A's Baby!!!! I am happy that getting into a relationship did not affect my grades negatively. I was lowkey worried it would. But anily and I work well together. She is my late night study buddy.

that anily gets me flowers. i think in every other relationship i have been in I have been in the masculine lesbian position. and there really shouldnt be boys and girls in wlw relationships. its nice. she is nice to me.

I'm excited for:

im excited for anily to come stay for the week. 13 days!!!!!

to start my summer job. yo quiero money. and job security. Also its a job that I am actually going to enjoy so that is a first. and probably a last. jk. wellllll.

get more things on my to do list done. i have been really productive these few days back home. so i hope I dont lose steam. and keep on chugging away.

things that made me happy

taking daisy on a car ride

calls with anily i really do be loving her.

cooking

anily looked nice today. i took a poll and everyone i asked agreed. 100%

the memory of staying up all night and at 4-5 AM listening to the birds. "we're up with the birds baby," having the privacy to dance around my room again when i want to