Rape, Loss and Injustice....
An old friend recently reached out to me about a blog post that his running partner had done... This running partner is a mother dealing with the recent rape of her daughter..... Now, rape unfortunately isn’t uncommon....but what is UNCOMMON and so incredibly invaluable are the words from the rape victim/daughter (describing her assault and the feelings that proceeded it, how she felt during it and how she is effected by it) and the words of a hurt mother....Which is what I’m posting here.....Because survivors and the people that support them show us their strong spirit every time they can shed light on something that most people want to keep live in silence about. It is something that not every victim can do...and it’s okay. But for those who can, it’s speaks VOLUMES to those who can’t bring themselves to have a voice. Out of 100 rapes ONLY 40 ARE REPORTED! 40! Everyone else lives in silence.... As always my message is to educate yourself. Self defense isn’t one course... it is truly a lifestyle but it starts with the first discussion. It begins with awareness. It begins with opening up your minds...to not being scared but looking at situations differently. If you’ve been a victim, this can be the door to healing. July 17th is my next seminar. It’s FREE! Register at www.bjjunder.dog.com
Below is the blog post......
·FRIDAY, JUNE 10, 2016
The lenient court decision handed down as of late in regards to the Stanford rape case against Brock Turner has done more than just spark national outrage. It has struck a chord that hits ever so close to home.Many of you who either know me well enough to know some of our story, or read my running blog posts know that I’ve mentioned or posted over the past year about personal angst and/or turmoil in the midst of my running and racing. This note serves to explain a portion of that.With the current outrage on social media, one can not go a day without having the word rape seen and/or heard. It was this constant barrage of the word that prompted my precious daughter to finally pen an account of what she has been struggling with nearly a year.In the article attached is her raw account of being raped last summer at the hands of a family “friend”. The last thing I wanted to do last night when my head hit the pillow at one in the morning after celebrating my younger daughter’s 8th grade graduation was read the detailed account of what the young man who violated her did to her; but when she told me she finally posted her story, I had to look.I had not asked her for a play by play of the account last summer. When we brought her to the police station, I left the room for the interrogation. Physically sick, I did not want to know in exactly what way he took her very private and personal sexuality from her. As a mother I couldn’t bear the nitty gritty. Last night I read some of what I didn’t want to but have always wanted to know. I read it again now along with countless others who will read my daughter’s now very public private shame. How does this make me feel? I have asked myself this all night as I tossed and turned; reliving the events of those few weeks of hell last summer, now knowing exactly everything, and in light of the recent national case. Please let me tell you:I feel broken again. Broken for my daughter. Broken that as her mother, her friend and as a woman I could not save her from the pain of what this man did to her. Broken as a human that can not believe another human would chose to violate someone to serve their own passions and lusts. Broken for the man my daughter may one day marry. She will never be whole emotionally or physically because of this event. She will carry scars and baggage with her. It will take a very special person to tenderly care for her needs in order to help her overcome and deal with intimacy in the future. I pray there is such a man out there who is so completely whole he can rise to the occasion. Broken for our family, immediate and extended. The event has created a bleakness that hangs like a plague overshadowing many days, events, gatherings. Through time this will heal; for now it is still evident, especially in light of the recent outrage.I feel angry. Angry obviously at her perpetrator who claimed “mutual consent”; at the friend who disappeared during the act; at the parents of the man who side with him; at my daughter’s foolish decisions; at myself for not being able to protect her; at the police for refusing to help; at God for allowing this to happen; and now angry at the legal system for allowing such persons as Brock to go away seemingly unscathed in such a public case.However, in light of those two emotions, I also feel hope. Hope that through this horrible circumstance, my daughter will rise again. Hope that the man who violated her will one day apologize for what he did and see it as the crime it really was. Hope that through this situation, my daughter’s blogging about it will in some way encourage just one other person towards healing. So as I finish, there is no immediate balm for the current situation. It is once again raw, but perhaps this is a necessary step in a long road to healing. If you care to read the dirty, please read my daughter’s post provided in the link below. If you are inclined to prayer; please keep her and my family in your prayers as we all continue to heal.I cling to the promise “I am making all things new.” https://crabbytoes.wordpress.com/20...