#52916

[leomacgivena]

昔コンビニで働いてたときに「お箸つけますか」と尋ねると「いらない、家で食べるから」とか「いらない、箸持ってきてるもん」みたいに「なぜいらないのか」をいちいち説明してくる人がたまにいて、すごく嫌だった

Xユーザーのでこ彦さん

[cheersandotherthings]

Happy anniversary @brotzge1! Two years has gone by in a flash. Thanks for always being my better half and making me laugh even when I don’t want to. Year two was a big year and I can’t wait to see what year three has in store for us! Love you always. #year2 #bestdayever #52916 #dinosaurparty #happyanniversary (side note, it was so much fun looking back through all of these pictures!) (at Fernbank Museum of Natural History)

[coveysux]

Gracie lay with their eyes open, facing the door to their room. Rain tapped the ceiling-high windows behind them. It was late enough at night that the moon was beginning to fall. Whoever else may have been in the house was fast asleep, too far gone to be woken by anything other than the sun itself. Drops of water leaked into Gracie's room from the ceiling and puddled into the corner. Gracie felt chills on their spine and writhed uncomfortably. They jerked around to look outside and saw a figure there, drenched, with its hands pressed to the uncovered window. It was staring at Gracie. Without taking their eyes from it, Gracie sat up and reached back for the lamp next to their bed. It tipped back and clattered to the floor. The figure was wearing a mask, it seemed, or otherwise had a grotesquely misshapen face. It grinned when it registered Gracie's alarm at having missed the lamp. The rain seemed to lessen now. The figure removed a hand from the glass and gestured for Gracie to come towards it. They pulled slightly closer, torn between a primal curiosity and an instinctive fear. It licked its teeth, and then pointed down. Gracie glanced down and saw a hole in their wall. Water leaked in and pooled around a tin can with a string poked inside of it. The string lead outside. Gracie leapt forward and pull the can to their chest, only taking their eyes off of the figure for a moment. When they looked back up it was holding another can attached to the same string to its gaping mouth. Gracie held the container to their ear. They heard a distinct slurp as it licked its teeth again. Then it hummed distinctly, its voice unmistakably familiar. Gracie's eyes widened as they listened and stared at it. Light scattered over the mountains far in the distance. The humming died down, mirroring the rain. Gracie asked it why it was outside of their window. "I am always here. Standing and looking." Its voice was as clear as if it was just behind them. "I have watched you grow in the night and wish for something better. Do not be afraid. Give me back the cup and go to sleep, Gracie." It reached forward, and Gracie realized the window had been open all along. Its hand rested in front of them, shaking and wet, and Gracie placed the tin can on its palm. It placed the object on the ground and reached to close the tall, tall window. Gracie slowly laid back down and turned to face the door again. The figure stood and watched them until the sun floated into view.

the things that Don't go bump in the night

[erenmortel]

Monday, 23 May 2016

Since my sister asked me to put my songs on the loudspeaker during the trip back home to our house, I hadn't had the time to continue my writing yesterday.

I'm going to continue it today because I made a list.

The school is near and I'm afraid. It had taken me long minutes, each separated in between my days about how I would introduce myself and I've repeated it so many goddamn times.

My sister and I talked about 'feelings' not as about how my sis had so much men who had crushes on him and he would warn me about the 'playboys,' the ones who play a girl's heart for fun. She warned me to not be like that person.

Wow, I was so close to revealing my everything with my sis but I contained myself because I hate him now. It was ironic, how she warned me to not become a playboy when I was literally the person who was played. This is depressing, all of it.

I had a choice, I had a choice to leave the room and accompany my grandparents in eating and doing nothing; but no, I stayed there and talked about things.

I have learned that my dad has been given the chance to go to New Zealand and he was thinking of moving along with him, to stay there, forever. It struck me odd and confused but I had no hesitations; I wanted to leave this goddamn place.

Okay, back to NOW.

I'm sorry I haven't had the power to write or even publish my works! This is blasphemy, this is becoming like what I was doing before. I had to publish these works now or I never will.

Since the 'work' is it of the way, I'm having actual fun now, like asking about my existence, and Destiel. Maybe this was the reason I have been dull to publishing my entries... Wow.

I'm tired.

[erenmortel]

Sunday, May 22 2016

Everything that had happened in this day afterwards 12 PM was an honest, blatant mistake. I've been avoiding this event from happening but my ignorance and love for my siblings have made it pass through my firewall.

Since I've made a bulleted list of everything I needed to talk about proceeding 12 PM, I'll continue it as is.

Existential Crisis.

I've talked about this before, and I'll talk about it again; there have been more things that are becoming nothing in my life, things that made me smile before, what made me human. Every waking day may seem like I have much to do but I can't hide the crippling fact that I'm going to die alone if I don't work hard enough, or everything will inevitably end at the right time, and I only have one life.

Although there are people like Dashie, Destiel, and some other entertainers in my time, these variables do not hide the fact that I'm  crippling and dying inside.

Besides all that, we went to our grandparent's place. It was sudden, I didn't know it, and I wasn't ready. I was supposedly going to download new songs again, but all of it was canceled and I'd rather find fan fiction I'll read.

At first, I thought it'll be a good fic, considering it has eleven parts. But no, I didn't read thoroughly, as I was catching up time. Yes, I was honestly in the realm of Daddy kinks when I searched it up on Tumblr, and yes, I did find the eleven-part fic but didn't read the tags. It was my biggest mistake.

Who knew what could throw me off? Besides the somewhat mistaken grammatical errors here and there, it was the kink. Yes, the thing I actually wanted was my enemy. Not only that, the tags, oh, the tags. It was between, literally, a grown man and a college student; it was Dean and Cas. It was already in the tags: Age difference and Size difference. Those were the tags I never knew I disliked, especially when it's a hunter on their thirty's and an angel who is thousand's of years old but looked thirty-ish.

It made me cringe, the way they fucked, literally in the eighth page. How Cas would say 'Daddy' to Dean as he would suck him, Jesus. And it has ELEVEN PARTS. Christ. I mean, it wasn't bad, but the ages. The ages, oh lord. It was a cringe-fest.

I read it whilst I was in the living room, talking to my sister, and listening to the conversations that were happening. I hastily deleted it as soon as I can after I read the word, "Daddy."

Before entering the place, I've finally taken the picture of the graffiti "fuck me."

[erenmortel]

Thursday, 19 May 2016

I had another dream about Allen again; this time, it was crossed with Brooklyn 99, it was weird.

First, there were something wrong with my pants like they had shit or something, so we had to use papers from the files of like the police thing, and that somehow led to the characters being in the wrong place of their precinct.

Now forward to Allen. Somehow, in the middle of the dream, Allen was the one who had a problem with his pants or something. There was this thing in the school where you would lay down the problematic and surround it by your classmates in a tent; which was currently occupied by another section.

Allen had that pants thing again; now, eventually, as my classmates were running around (?) I cut up the back of his pants. Meaning, in my dream, he was butt-naked. Another thing was, Kian assisted me in walking as I somehow had limp feet.

They were back there, cheering Allen while laying down, singing, "if I got locked away..." It was weird, this tune was with me the whole dream. Kian assisted me until the big tent to wait for them to arrive.

What was weird, this was supposed to be a good story about me saving Allen but it kind of turned into a weird cluster fuck of events. That's not my fault; as I was waiting for them to arrive at the tent inside the school, my eyes opened and I forced myself to go back to sleep, but it was too late.

It seems like I haven't forgotten some details about the dream but I feel like I've really forgotten some big details about it; it seems so very weird, my dream. Heck, dreams are always weird.

[coveysux]

the edge of one of my blinds snapped off when i was dicking around one time and the empty area is the exact amount of space for someone to press their face to my window and have both eyes staring in at me i think worry about that a lot