Still missing him
As the 7 month mark of losing Liam comes up, I'm starting to think to myself more and more again. I can't bother to mention him to my friends or my family because I just can't get over him. I've lost a lot of people in my short life and I still cling onto the ones that meant the most to me. They've lost people too but they don't talk about them as much as I talk about Liam.
One Direction and, through them, Liam, helped me where my family and friends could not. They taught me so much about stuff where I would have been lost without them. Liam made me laugh, as did the others, and I got to witness some magic that I didn't know was possible because of my own life.
Liam had a ton of potential during his life and his life being cut short the way it was stabs me through the heart, because what if I end up like him? Of course, not the exact way, but by being hated by people because I don't want to blend in with the people who we shouldn't blend in with.
I am working on becoming a cop and right now, cops get a lot of hate, but someone needs to be a cop. While I don't know what exactly is going to happen to me as one, I'll still face some kind of hate, even probably by my best friend. The current media keeps showing me how much cops are being watched over so many minuscule details, and it just reminds me more of Liam. Cops can't breathe without the media blowing up, just like celebrities.
Last time I mentioned Liam to my mom, it was late at night and mentioning him pissed her off because she was having trouble with her phone. When I mentioned him, I had forgotten she was struggling with her phone as she didn't type like she was pissed off. My mom was the one who told me about Liam the day after her and I had a big fight. If I dare mention Liam now with what's happening with us right now, I'm sure it will end up like last time. I know I shouldn't keep mentioning him every month, but I'm still mourning him and the fact that Bear, the boys, and Liam's family don't have him anymore. I know myself what a death in the family so young does to you, so my heart hurts for Bear a lot.
I'm missing this smile, face, and dancing guy almost every single day:
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