#8-2-12

[beautifuleyes113]

[humorinaheartbeat]

steep light

A steep light in a perpetual dive across the coffee table, settles down before it sets entirely and the accent of my life changes and will change again I grew up in a closet in comparison to the world that exists outside, I couldn't see it, just breathed in the dust, got cloudy vision, maybe a youth wasted, but I've rediscovered it By finding cracks in the wall, they crumbled with age and all it took was a conscious call, "Hey there!", "Hey there!", and the receiver woke up I broke through the concrete, the bits scattered everywhere like feathers of birds who fell from the sky we must live with our mess, I savor this new breath

[rneglomaniac]

i dreamed i was at the band pool party and i checked my phone at 5am, 6 hours after my dad was supposed to pick me up and there were all these caustic messages and a few missed calls, and in the messages he was like "you're a useless daughter" and then i ended up going straight to school

i also dreamed i was with the band and we had all swapped instruments. the saxophone section now was learning to play trombone. we split up into sectionals of random instruments and my group went into this one mansion that i dream about a lot. we went into a room with a high ceiling and we started practicing, but it was late at night so we ended up bothering the people that lived there.

[shldytu-blog]

BOUGHT MY TICKETS FOR LA DURING THANKSGIVING WITH ANGELA. OMFG I AM SO EXCITED CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS. WHEEEEEEEE IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN WITH HER. We got such good seats both going to and back by the exiting place so that means we can pull out our legs. I'm so blessed by God, I'm so excited for this!!! YESSS

[beautifuleyes113]

[cruiseshipstohell-blog]

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

I am dating an 18-year-old.

 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Aggravated and happy at the same time... I don't know.

 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I smile at strangers all the time.

 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I don't think so.

 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

I haven't really listened to anything today... Spent the whole day in bed sleeping.

 7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Tank top and a pair of shorts.

 8. How often do you listen to music?

Plenty plenty plenty

 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans. I never wear sweats.

 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

Before? I doubt it. I graduate in 2013 though :)

 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

I'm pretty antisocial. I hate talking to people, I suck at it. But I honestly love listening to people talk... Even if they're not talking to me.

 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

I have.

 13. What about ‘R’?

I don't think so.

 14. Can you drive a stick shift? Yeah, I can do it.

 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yeah, definitely. I mean, who wants people talking bad about them?

 16. Are you going out of town soon?

Yeah, next weekend :)

 17. When was the last time you cried?

I don't keep track of these things. I think it was when Jared said I have only said two sentences to him in the five months that we have been together though.

 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Yes I have. :)

 19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Maybe. Having blue eyes would be really nice. But my eyes are a really neat shade of brown... not just dark shit brown so I'm pretty content with them.

 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

My brother.

 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I've slept all day, I feel like shit.

 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Its cute when a guy kisses me anywhere. I love being kissed and I love to kiss.

 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

The last person I talked to my mother. Of course I'm dating my mother.

 24. What are you sitting on right now?

Le bed

 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Jared does. :)

 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yeah, it has happened. But look where it got me, I'm in a fantastic relationship with someone that wanted me just as much as I wanted them. :)

 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Jared, the boyfriend :)

 28. Do you get a lot of colds?

I don't think I get colds. I just get mad allergies.

 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

Forever 21

 30. Does anyone hate you?

I don't know. I guess there is probably someone.

 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

Nope.

 32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I love watching "scary" movies.

 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

No.

 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

I don't know. I don't think I've really had a year that was so bad that I would want to delete it. Even beautiful things grow from shit, ya know?

 35. Did you have a dream last night?

God. Yeah. It was fucking weird.

 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Last night / this morning ;)

 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

In five years I will be 22. I guess it could happen. I doubt it though, I really don't think I want to get married.

 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I know someone has feelings for me.

 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Right now, no. But you never know... ;)

 40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

I had a wonderful day yesterday :)

 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

I was in the same relationship I am in now, 2 months ago.

 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I doubt it. Unless my mom counts, I don't really hang out with girls.

 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

I don't think so.

 44. What’s the best part about school?

Learning new shit. Even though school isn't teaching new shit so much anymore. I can't wait to get to fucking college man.

 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

Yes I do :)

 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Yeah, I have passed notes to people in school.

 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Fuck. yes. All of the time.. over and over again.

 48. Were you single over the last summer?

This summer ends in two weeks, does it count as last summer? Because if yes, I was not single.

 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

I was fifteen two years ago... My life is completely different.

 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Nothing.

 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

If I hated him, why would I be having a conversation with them?

 52. Are you nice to everyone?

No. I wish I was but i'm such a bitch sometimes.

 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Good god, yes. I love a guy that I never expected to like.

 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yes. I've lasted five months so far without cheating, I don't think six is much of a challenge.

 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Not at all.

 56. Do you think you like someone?

Yes. I think I like someone. Very much so.

 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

Jared starts with a J. Jared is my boyfriend. I have kissed my boyfriend. :)

 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

All my good friends are boys.

 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Yes.

 60. Do you hate anyone?

No.

 61. How’s your heart?

Good as far as I know ;)

 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes.

 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

I have.

 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

Nobody

 65. Are your toenails painted pink?

uh, no

 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

As long as it's with Jared, no.

 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

Why would anyone love it when someone is crying? Sure, you get to see the sensitive side of a guy that, I guess, you don't see very often but why in the world would you love to see your boyfriend cry?

 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

My pants have never fallen down on their own in public.

 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My momma.

 70. How do you look right now?

Like Ive been in bed all day.

 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

Yep

 72. Can you commit to one person?

I am committed to one person right now.

 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Yes. I have multiple people of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to.

 74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Yeah. It happens.

 75. Did you wake up cranky?

Not originally. But I went back to sleep for another fiveish hours and now I feel like shit.

 76. Are you a jealous person?

Yeah, kind of.

 77. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. As long as everyone is in it for the 'right' reason. The 'right' reason being love, of course.

 78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Nope.

 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

Yessssssssssssssssss.

 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Eat.

 81. Last person you cried in front of?

Bah. I really try not to cry in front of people.

 82. Is there someone you will never forget?

There are multiple people I will never forget. Unless I'm unfortunate enough to lose my memory for some reason...

 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

He is.

 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

We would probably just be laying in my bed either talking or making out and stuff ;)

 85. Are you over your past?

Over it? Yes.

 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Yeah. I liked Tad once.

 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Yes. Multiple people.

 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I think what I have right now may be my first true love. I don't know why he would be apologizing but if he knocked on my door I would be one happy gal.

 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

Yeah, I would let him in.

 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

I've never really had friends care much about the person I liked.

 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

I will be.

 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Yes.

 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

No.

 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

Nope. Not in January.

 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

I was very happy with the person I liked in March :)

 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

Jonny? Yeah, he's not unattractive.

 97. Who do you have texts from?

Plenty of people, I never delete that stuff.

 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Whaaaaaaaat?

 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes.

 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

Nobody, its just me.

[thoughtsonparade]

Future reference: don't read "Columbine" at night. It breaks my heart. It makes me mad. It frustrates me. It gives me hope. It unnerves me. It makes me want to cuddle up and never talk to anyone but a few select people ever again. It doesn't even make me tired. Well, it does, but only in the daylight. Go figure. Its not a good bedtime read. Its not a good rushed read. This book needs to be spaced out when reading it. Its really good, omg, but not in big chunks. (I should probably take a note of this for school. Eh.) Its obviously scary to think about, but I can't let that dictate my highschool experience. You can't live in fear, but obviously I'll be careful. I mean, not saying there's an immediate risk. Not saying there isn't. I'm not GLAD Columbine happened, no, no, not at all, but I'm glad it opened public schools eyes to potential danger and now they have a system. I wish tragedies like these didn't have to happen in order for society to take a step forward and learn things. I can't wait to go to college, on a moderately related note. I have to actually start thinking about colleges this year. That's crazy. I have no idea what I even want to study. There's so much I want to do. I want to love whatever it is I end up deciding on. Having a nice paycheck won't hurt a bit either. I can't wait to just actually get my life started. I'm not saying highschool isn't important, but like, I was more excited in elementary school, like, I still have two more years. Yeah, they'll probably fly by but I just honestly don't care. Sometimes I wish I did. Like that I found the trivalities of it important, but I just don't, dklfjc. Like I honestly do not care about the drama, or the assemblies, or school spirit because I'm so much more than this part of my life. Like I do not like people who say highschool are the best years of your life. Really? That's pathetic if they are. There's so, omg, so much more out there. I want to discover it all. Like, now.

[foreverimpendinggraduation]

Perfection? Greatest band of the last decade? My life was completed when I first heard them? All questions I answer yes to.