lonelySeahorse- Today at 2-38 AM
I miss my kids.
Can we get them back... Please?
Its too quiet. I wworry.
I mean
I'm sure dirk takes god care of them i just uh
Need them
So
Yeah
brackishBarracuda- Today at 2-56 AM
i can bring em back to visit clams but
look i know its quiet and it
fucking sucks and i miss them too
i still dont feel like theyre safe here love
and no dirk dont do shit dave keeps em
have you seen dirk with a kid
its hilarious
lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-41 AM
I mean pike
I dont doubt it but i wwant to see em
Wwho are wwe hiding from noww
I thought condy wwas not an issue anymore or somethin
Is it sal
brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-51 AM
no shes still a fucking thing
there were two problems but the orginal ones still there
lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-51 AM
godamnit
howw about if wwe just
movve
not forevver
brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-51 AM
thats
lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-51 AM
but pike
to loz's
brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-52 AM
love thats not the problem
lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-52 AM
or
i knoww
brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-52 AM
she doesnt know where we are its me wanting to give fel and her fam someplace to go
lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-52 AM
i just wwant to put up solutions and feel like im helpin ZZ3B(
brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-52 AM
i could kiss you you know
i kno its
naut been easy bein with me lately
or
ever
lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-53 AM
some nights are easier than others <>
the 24 hours after u cut off chos arm
noww that was rough shit
evverything else compared to that is pike cuttin through a cloud
its just the fuckin
brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-54 AM
im sorry
lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-54 AM
its gamzee all the fuck ovver again
u knoww what they say
third times the charm
brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-54 AM
3B(
lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-54 AM
ZZ3B*
just kinda fuckin
i unno
i almost got enough of ur biolum for u to bathe in
ivve started movvin them to one a the tanks
ur gonna have to pike... sleep in it or just sit in there ww ur palmhusk and blog for hours
ill uh
join u
if u wwant
i dunno if the tank'd hold tho
but i can put them in the big one if i take archie out
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-03 AM
you uh
you'll be okay u knoww
its hard
but you'll pull through
it wwasn't ur fault
you knoww that right
i think
i think u should spend some tide with kad u knoww they'll help u feel better
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-13 AM
how the fuck wasnt it my fault clams
i love you but the knife was in my hand
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-13 AM
kads alwways good for a pickmeup
did you knoww the knife wwas in ur hand
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-15 AM
i remember picking it up
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-15 AM
wwe are not responsible for our instincts
they wwere responsible for aya and they hurt her
and you hurt them in turn
both of these wwere wwrong but neither more than the other
both of them wwill scar and both of them are traumatized
you wwere angry
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-18 AM
stop making excuses for me
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-18 AM
im not makin excuses for you
it was everyones fault
thats wwhat im tryin to get at
cho was responsible for ayas wwellbein an they should not havve had her in the same room as a psion wwho couldn't control their powwers
and you wwere supposed to do the right thing but you didn't
you cut off their arm and ran awway and that is your fuckin fault but im not makin excuses for you
because fuckin honestly at this point wwhat good is that shit going to do anyone
you wwant to talk to them again? talk to vvis? sal? then you gotta fuckin accept that it wwas an accident and evvery single one a you wwas at fault, evven sal, evven vvis
three fuckin adults in that house and not one a them coulda been wwatchin her wwith cho? bullshit
its your fault but it ain't entirely yours either
you knoww i havve nightmares about it and i wwasn't evven fuckin there
howws that
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-22 AM
what
what are they about
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-22 AM
that doesn't matter
read wwhat i said abovve
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-22 AM
it does
i read it
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-22 AM
yeah why
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-22 AM
this matters
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-23 AM
whys it matter to you
so you can beat yourself up more aboat it?
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-23 AM
whys it matter to me
clams i am your fucking moirail
it matters
please
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-32 AM
and as your owwn moirail i don't think you should beat yourself up ovver nightmares i havve caused by things that wwere your fault
because i knoww you wwill
and i don't wwant that y
you
got enough
on your plate
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-33 AM
baby please
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-33 AM
tell me wwhy you're insecure
then i wwill
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-33 AM
which part
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-33 AM
in general
wwhy are you so insecure about yourself
you hurt someone
big fuckin wwhoop
you bleww up your planet and you didn't really care about cho anywway
you tried to i knoww
but you didn't
is it just because you lost sal?
because you think you'vve lost vvis?
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-35 AM
i am trying to be better clams and yes
its because of that
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-35 AM
once upon a time you told me u lovved me just as i am
hemoism and all
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-35 AM
i dont loose people well
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-35 AM
and im here to tell you the same fuckin thing
i dont care if u cut off my owwn fuckin arm
i wwill lovve you until the day my essence dissolvves into nothing and i cease to havve the capacity to hold lovve in my soul
i lovve you regardless of wwhat you do
wwhose arm you chop off
wwho you lose or wwhy you lose them
i lovve you meen
not wwhat you do
or wwhat you say
but because of wwho you fuckin are
a free thinker wwho doesn't hold back, wwho wwould dance in the moonlight wwith her girlfriends, wwho tells people they're pretty af and means it wwithout it bein empty. ur home to me evven if you become someone you dislike
you don't need to change and be "better" for me to like u
i already like you
vis already likes you
sal liked you and so did chosis
yes
there are things you can improvve
yes there are things you can't improvve
but here and noww wwith all your insecurities and wwhen you falter, wwhen ur candle is loww, i am still here for you
and don't u fuckin forget it
i am your moirail and eridan fuckin ampora aight and i am right fuckin pale for the roughest, prettiest diamond i'vve evver fuckin seen
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-40 AM
i love you
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-42 AM
noww
about those nightmares
its really quite simple
vvis has nightmares
if wwe're sleepin at the same time wwe share em
thats it
thats the wwhole explanation
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-43 AM
do you know what those are about or
look i just want to know where hes viewin himself in relation okay
is just me being dangerous is it him just watchin is it him eelin like he could have stopped me and cant like
i dont care what it is i just
want to know
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-44 AM
hes conflicted because he lovves both of you and he thinks you hold animosity towwards him if he showws too much support for chosis and not for you
thats wwhat i can glean
the recurrin theme is the classic "choice" dream u knoww
u can only Savve One
an all that
chos his kurloz, lovve, pike
i don't know if you get it more wwhen i put it that wway or
its pike if i personally chopped off loz's arm wwhile you wwatched thats just howw he feels an it's basically just that he doesn't fuckin knoww howw to feel
i think he just needs time but thats my fuckin answer to evverythin
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-47 AM
fuck
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-47 AM
does that put it into more perspectivve or
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-48 AM
yeah actually i
fuck
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-48 AM
yeah
yeah
im glad that helps
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-50 AM
clams what have i fucking done
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-53 AM
you chopped off the arm of your inclade, your moirails matesprit, wwho he has twwo eggs wwith and plans to swwap rings wwith, in defense of said matesprit's negligance towwards your owwn child wwith your dead matesprit, wwhich resulted in possibly lifelong scarrin and trauma due to their said negligance
defense? offense
somethin pike that
you uh
also faught ur best friend and bloodied him up a bit and noww he doesn't wwant to speak wwith you
i guess thats wworth mentionin
i mean if u ask me sal and u needed a break anywway
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-55 AM
i dont like breaks clams i like fixing shit or getting it over with i like shit in the air not festering i like honest real fucking answers and not hiding behind shit and lying to yourself and im fucked
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-56 AM
okay so u knoww howw i compared chosis to kurloz there right, for vvis
noww i need you to think a me
or actually
think a kad
if u cut off kads arm and lil sal wwas there wwatchin an the twwo a you fought
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-57 AM
i wouldnt be alive clams
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-57 AM
see to me
that says sal still fuckin lovves you
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-58 AM
he shouldnt
lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-58 AM
no
he shouldn't
but he does
evven if he aint realize it yet
he just needs time
maybe you could send him a couple of anon asks to see howw he feels about it evveryonce in a wwhile
brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-59 AM
he doesnt deserve the shit i bring to his doorstep clams he deserves people who are gonna make him happy and that aint been me for a while
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-01 AM
then i guess u got an oppurtunity here
but u gotta ask urself
howw happy is he gonna be wwith you gone
howw happy are you gonna be wwith him gone
the twwo a you are older than me and you
you do fuckin realize that
right
pike you'vve been together since before u evven met me
hell probs before rez or fangs or around that time
he's the only one left besides cro and tuna wwho knowws You
so
if you wwant to leavve him
thats up to you
he's already made his choice but i fuckin promise you in twwo months he's gonna be wwaitin to see if you'll try to get back in his life and fuckin
honestly i'd be disappointed if you didn't
an he wwould be too and you fuckin knoww it
don't kid urself
howw many times has he hurt us
howw many fuckin times has he hurt me
put vvis through a wwall
broke my nose
gavve you scars
but howw many times did he come back, huh
or helped you evven if u twwo wwere havvin trouble
you think a that
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-06 AM
i miss him
i miss who we were
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-06 AM
wwhen did it change
wwhat happened
wwhy
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-06 AM
i dont know
i dont fucking know
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-07 AM
i do
you wwant to knoww?
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-07 AM
why naut
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-07 AM
wwhen he finally stopped puttin you up on that pedestal
wwhen he finally had to come to grips wwith the fact u wweren't and are not perfect
wwhen he finally had to fuckin realize that you are not his rescuer but his friend
he put u up on a throne and u didn't wwant it and he couldn't see that and evvery single fuckin time you twwo fought
it wwas because u didn't see eye to eye
because you wwere still twwenty feet abovve him, to him
cho thought it too
wwe wwere talkin
they said sal wwas upset because "he lost his rock"
an i said
buddy if u think meenah wwas his rock ur wwrong"
because u wweren't and if u think that you're wwrong
a rope throwwn to him maybe
givven him hope
givven him a friend
but somethin to hold onto wwhen the lights go out nah
u wwere his lighthouse like u are mine
you light the wway
but he doesn't cling to u wwith his problems he clings to cho
and YOU fuckin knoww that
and you need to stop thinkin that cho isn't fuckin
wworthy or somethin of bein sals moirail
an also simultaneously thinkin that u gotta measure up to chosis wwith sal
are you pale for salinx?
no?
then you ain't gotta
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-12 AM
i was once
i know you remember
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-12 AM
yeah and i wwas flushed for u once too
its hard to stop those feelins but u just gotta grit ur teeth and go at it
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-13 AM
i mean im naut anymore but
yeah
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-14 AM
just in case, i gotta say it
stop bein fuckin envious of wwhat they got an the fact that sal is tellin cho evverythin an not u
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-15 AM
i fucking hate myself for it but i cant even tell you youre fucking wrong
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-19 AM
i knoww
just
you knoww
stop it
nerd
<>
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-19 AM
look
they werent fucking worthy when i met them
just to be straight with you
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-19 AM
but you aint givven them the chance since
u think i dont knoww that
they bruised me, pushed me ovver
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-20 AM
im naut done
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-20 AM
aight
im wwaitin tho
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-22 AM
chosis wasnt shit when i met them but if i can stand back away from my own shit for two seconds
theyve grown a hell of a lot
they grew into it
which
idk
is probably the point or something
just cause i couldnt sea it
and i can admit that to you but trying to say that to anybody else pisses me off
ive got problems
the point im making is that they arent a bad kid and clearly they take decent fuckin care a sally an sal them i was just
idk
i reely dont like thinking aboat this
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-26 AM
yeah wwhale suck it up and talk to me about it
ZZ3B\
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-27 AM
ive p much made my point
theyre betta than they were and im recognizing that
ive known that for a while
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-27 AM
but u still assumed they wwere the one wwho hurt aya
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-28 AM
when i got there there was all of two people and i knew it was sal
i jumped to a conclusion an it was the wrong one
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-29 AM
yeah
but u wwere alwwavves more heart than head
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-30 AM
yeah
for betta oar worse
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-31 AM
this just happens to be one a the wworse
... you'll be okay
and so wwill sal, and so wwill cho, and so wwill vvis, and aya too
it just takes time an lovve an determination
don't givve up on them
aight?
lovve u
<>
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-32 AM
i love you too
<>
just
so fucking much clams
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-32 AM
ZZ3B*
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-33 AM
i couldnt tell you if i tried
you are my rock you know
no pedestal no rope no lighthouse
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-37 AM
yeah i do
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-37 AM
youre my rock
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-37 AM
ur my rock and my lighthouse
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-37 AM
where i build home
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-37 AM
ur my evverythin
... what are u gonna do
brackishBarracuda - Today at 8:41 AM
whatever i have to
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8:42 AM
yeah?
brackishBarracuda - Today at 8:46 AM
as fuckin always
lonelySeahorse - Today at 8:47 AM
come on
more than that
brackishBarracuda- Today at 8:49 AM
i dont know clams but im naut givin up
lonelySeahorse- Today at 8:49 AM
good
<>
brackishBarracuda - Today at 8:50 AM
<>
