#a customer!

[the-real-spires-merchant]

**The servant wanders in, analyzing the room, before realising that he is at the merchants!**

Ah! Greetings, Spire merchant. Anything of interest you have in stock?

@ask-the-servant

Oh! The horned one, welcome, welcome! Let's see, I know I've got some new items in stock...

*They lay out some items along their rug.*

Take your pick!

[potions-of-parfadiea]

THROWS YOUR WIFE AT YOU @cremepaladin-kouignamann

"Oh! Hehe hello there~ I think everything just became perfect now that you're here!"

[not-a-good-writer]

Odd Friend | fake Peppino + self insert

AN: this is an entirely self indulgent fic of my self insert meeting fake Peppino.

CW: very brief implication of violence

Emma skated cautiously down the dark hallways, trying to see in the low light. Everything was quiet, too quiet. Usually there would be sounds of enemies or rats or something, but for some reason it was totally silent.

She got separated from Peppino and Gustavo while they were being chased by some enemies. It wasn't until they finally let up and she could stop that she realized her friends weren't with her.

This was the first time she was completely alone since entering the tower, and she was feeling quite scared. She figured it would be best to find a safe place to stay put and wait to be found.

She came to the front of a building and strained to see what the giant letters above the door said. "Bruno's Pizza." she read aloud to herself. Hopefully it was someplace safe. She went inside, not catching the 'danger' sign plastered outside.

"Hello?" Emma called out to make sure she was alone. The echo of her voice was the only thing that responded to her, so she sat down on the floor against the wall.

Suddenly, a strange croaking sound echoed through the room. She jumped and looked around, and saw two eyes staring at her in the darkness.

She tried to get up but the thing bouned towards her at great speed. It loomed above her and she froze in terror, staring back at the creature.

"remotsuc a!"

The thing grabbed her ankle and dragged her further into the building. She screamed but was cut off after being dropped onto something.

A sudden light cut through the darkness and she was finally able to see. She looked up at the creature before her to see... Peppino? No, no this wasn't Peppino. It was tall and goopy looking, and it didn't have human proportions.

It seemed more like something that was trying to look like Peppino; or at least, Emma hoped this wasn't the Peppino she knew.

"Tnemom a tsuj ni ydaer eb lliw doof ruoy." The creature stated before walking off and into an adjacent room. Emma sat up and tried to process what was happening. The creature didn't seem like it wanted to hurt her, but then again, that could change.

She looked around the room to see if there was anything she could defend herself with. Upon observation this place looked like a pizzaria, which would explain the sign outside. But the place looked old. Cracked tiles, holes in the walls, odd stains here and there. There wasn't even a proper light source, it was just a single lightbulb with a pull string above the table she was sitting at.

Emma wondered why there was a pizzaria in the tower, and why there was a doppelganger of Peppino here.

She didn't have much time to dwell on that thought however, as 'Peppino' came back with a dish in his hands. He was smiling as he presented it to Emma, "Etiteppa nob!"

She looked at the pizza that had been placed in front of her, then back at the clone. It looked at her expectantly, and she contemplated if eating the pizza was a good idea. The tower had been merciless, and she hardly was able to stop and take a break, much less eat anything. Besides, if this thing wanted to hurt her, why go through the effort of poisoning her? It already proved it was strong enough to haul her like a ragdoll.

She picked up a slice and took a bite. Aside from being cold, it wasn't that bad. Pretty similar to any other fast food chain, in terms of quailty.

"This tastes pretty alright. Thank you." The creature made a happy gurgling sound. Emma continued eating as the creature watched her. It wiggled and danced around the room, as if she was the first person who enjoyed it's food. She giggled at the happy being, feeling much safer and more content.

After she finished eating, she leaned back in her seat a sighed, "Thank you, really. This place has given me nothing but greif. I'm glad that I can finally relax for once."

The creature purred and plopped It's head on top of her's, "You sure are happy! What's your name?"

It's eyes lit up, "ylno dna eno eht, Peppino!" Emma paused. No, this couldn't be Peppino, could it? Had something in the tower turned him into this thing? What about Gustavo and Brick? What happened to them?

But before she could assume the worst, the sound of distant voices could be heard. And they sounded an awful lot like...

"Peppino!" Emma rushed to the entrance and listened closely. It was her friends! They were calling out for her. She turned back to the fake Peppino, "I have to go, my friends are here, but I'll-" the creature whimpered. The expression on it's face looked like a mixture of sadness and anger, "Hey, what's wrong?" She tried moving closer to it, but it turned away and squeezed itself into a hole in the wall before disappearing.

Emma felt a bit upset at the loss of her odd friend. She skated to the door, but before leaving called out,

"I'll be back, Peppino."

[annyllel]

So when you go into the East Wind store and you haven’t before bought anything or otherwise talked to Pruce, he’s always standing with his back to the counter and looks like he’s taking inventory or something. Once you initiate some conversation with him, he stays facing the counter with his hands on top of it. 

[wurstpies]

dumb question probably. are you actually kin with beadle bamford?

no !! it’s a goof, i’m not kin at all i just think he’s neat

[the-real-spires-merchant]

heya i got those cards ya wanted. I stole them from some shmucks who tried to cross me.

-the hated bridge

Tsk tsk tsk, what did I say about taking cards from the Slayers....

*The Merchant sighs, but takes them anyways.*

You know you have to stop doing that you know. Someone's going to sever you or something one day.

[the-real-spires-merchant]

“Merchant.”

@watcheraskblogsts

Oh, the listening one! It's been, what, roughly a millenia give or take? How've you been? Honestly didn't expect you to come back considering you'd finished your mission, but it's not unexpected. Have you seen your fellow Slayers recently? There's quite more of you this time around, and it's been lovely seeing all these new people.

*They ramble for some time before stopping themself.*

Right, right, business! I've been saving some of your specialty stuff, although perhaps Darv might be a better bet to reclaim some of that, so take a look around!