#a?mltyt

[sunnydbeam]

Posting these again and also a new one :)

Alien Sun/Moon & A?MLTYT -> @helpmeimawkwardbutfun <3

[fufi-is-here]

they still live rent free in my brain btw

a?mltyt -> @helpmeimawkwardbutfun

Also, this is a very quick drawing from one time I dreamed that I was in space and a giant Sun ate me NSJDFN

do you see what your writing has done to me 🥀/silly

[helpmeimawkwardbutfun]

Hello, again.

I wish I was writing this under better circumstances, but we don't get to choose those, do we? At the very least this isn't one that I chose.

Some of you probably saw the post I made here or the dev log on itch where I explained that Momo and I parted ways back in December. If you haven't, I've copied it below for your convenience.

Some of you have, more than likely, also seen Momo's posts about me - which have been far less kind. In fact, if you were to take them at face value, they're pretty ugly.

I've really hesitated to say anything. At first, I was hopeful that maybe someday we could repair our friendship, that things would change and we would be able to reconcile, but when everything started coming apart it became clear that was not happening. When the next post came, I told myself it said more about her than it did about me - it wasn't worth disturbing the peace in a fandom so many of us come to for community. As of a few days ago, we're at the third time.

Even I have a limit on how many times I can be lied about and used as a punch bag.

Momo first reached out to me on 2/7 of last year - she said she loved my story and asked if I would be willing to post a version with machine translation to Chinese as some of the more technical words were tricky to translate. I went home from work that day and had a translated version ready and given to her that evening. Our friendship quickly took off from there. I didn't really have anyone else that excited about my au (I had just posted the first chapter a few days before) so it was very, very exciting. She asked all kinds of questions and once she said she was open to spoilers I told her everything. I gave references for characters and we played with designs together, I told her about future plot twists, we talked costume changes and more. She was so nice to me I couldn't believe it. I gave her early access to everything I was writing. I sent her original files, my base code, everything because I trusted her.

On 3/3 she asked for my address so she could send me a gift. At that time, I wasn't really comfortable giving away my name and address to someone I'd known for less than a month. But we talked some more, she reassured me it was safe, and I gave her a PO Box address. We weren't sure if a package would even make it through with the tariff situation, but when her gift made it through after a month in customs she gave her address and I sent one back. We ended up having to exchange real names, but at this point we were so close it was hard to imagine there could ever be a problem. We sent several packages of gifts to each other over the months - for every package she sent me, I sent one back. While she was able to send things she had made or bulk printed, I purchased all of the gifts I sent her from local, small artists. It seemed like a win-win, I could support small businesses and she could get unique crafts and prints not available anywhere else.

Momo drew art for my au and invited me to share it freely - so long as it had her watermark and was attributed. I like being able to support my friends when I have the means ability to do so. So, I sent her money periodically as I could for this or that, a cup of milk tea after a bad day or sometimes more if I could (hence the "sugar mama" nickname) because it was a little way to show I cared. When she became more busy with school we talked about it and I commissioned other artists occasionally, sharing her publicly available references with them with her blessing. We gushed over every commission together and celebrated all of the details and love poured into them.

This continued all the way through fall. I started a group chat for some mutual friends and I invited Momo into it. There were some fluff ups at that point - more than once she seemed upset that either I didn't answer her fast enough or she felt like I was talking to other people more… But it was a group chat. I reassured her she was still my best friend, but sometimes I'm at work; I can't always answer every message in a group chat but that didn't mean I didn't appreciate her.

Then, in October, another friend of mine created a new au. I absolutely loved the premise, it was rich and ripe for storytelling and I really, really wanted to play around in it. Their birthday was also coming up so the timing felt perfect. I reached out to several mutual friends, including Momo, and began writing like the wind to reveal the present before Halloween. Momo was also excited for the au, and while I was still working on the present she wrote a several page letter with her analysis of the au… But she wrote it and posted it in Chinese. The recipient does not know Chinese, so they contacted another friend for help translating. Momo was livid when she did not get a response in a few hours - I tried to explain the situation but it did not matter. She left the group chat and started unfollowing several mutuals on tumblr on 10/27. She told me she needed time, and I respected that.

I was out of town on Halloween and I wasn't able to launch the game when planned - but I noticed something else. The giftee posted about something awful happening to them and I noticed the timing; it did not feel like a coincidence given everything that happened and what Momo had said to me at this point. On 11/2, I asked Momo what she knew about this… She admitted to everything she said to this mutual friend. She was so quick to respond with screenshots I thought it was just a misunderstanding; it was not. She said some very harmful things and outright threatened them.

I am trying not to include screenshots of her messages for privacy, but I am willing to share my own response. Sometimes the only thing you can control is your response, after all. My response, verbatim, was:

Things continued to spiral from this point through the rest of November. The giftee was hurt and, frankly, very reasonably a little scared after everything. I offered to remove Momo's art from the gift and she said she would be more comfortable with that so I did it. I let Momo know what I was doing and why and all of the anger shifted from the giftee to me. Quickly. With the giftee's approval, I released the game publicly on 11/3. Momo unfollowed me on tumblr, saying she needed a break because I was reblogging the giftees art and other posts too often.

On 11/5, Momo sent me this document to fill out. I will not share all of it here - partially because the formatting does not work well for this and partially because a large chunk of it focuses on the victim of the bullying.

I do want to share Section 2, which touched on the biggest issue at this point.

From Momo's perspective, I betrayed her for my other friend. From my perspective, a victim of bullying was uncomfortable with something in a gift several people pulled together to make specifically for them. It was in my power to make it right and fix a gift that had been tainted, so I did. This led to fight after fight for Momo and I. For every time she came back and said she thought about it and understood what she did, she always came back around to how it didn't matter - the victim was upset/blocked her/defended themselves therefore she was justified because the victim was a worse person.

On 11/25, things blew up for the final time. She sent me several very angry messages, one of the last of which said I wouldn't have to worry about her for at least a month or two full months. I agreed that maybe stepping back would help.

That evening for me, or the next morning for her, she started messaging me again saying that she lied about a break and trying to get things back to normal with memes but at this point I actually needed a break. I had been white-knuckling keeping her my friend despite everything and trying to keep peace with my other friend she had alienated and threatened. Between that and her vitriol shifting to me, I needed an actual break.

On 11/26, after trying to get me talking again for a while she sent me a questionnaire. Some of the answers are personal and talk about mutual friends and others - I won't be sharing that here.

Below that point I talk about specific instances and people she disparaged. I am not trying to start a fight and drag more people into it, so I am leaving that out.

I sited another instance with a mutual friend below that.

Again, I am cutting off where I answered questions about mutual friends.

I sent that response the same day, and she responded to my response. It was unpleasant. In the moment, I told myself it was fine - emotions are running high and I've never stopped her from venting at me. If that's what she needs to feel better in the moment, I can take it.

I didn't respond to the response and in a short order Momo deleted her discord account and blocked me on tumblr. I let it go, believing that she needed space too.

On 12/22, Momo sent me a message on tumblr, sent an ask on tumblr, and sent me an email - all messages had the same letter attached. She used our legal names in the opening, so I have cut around those for privacy:

The rest of the images are what she posted on social media here and on Bsky in her first post about me. She also posted a review on itch.io:

(As you can see by the days since it was posted, she has not kept her word on that either)

I sent her this response on tumblr, still in shock of the sudden bombshell:

Good morning Momo, I imagine you had to be terribly stressed to write all of this. Rest assured, you didn't have to go so far - all you had to do was ask. I'll work on getting everything taken down/destroyed asap. We had talked about commissions over the summer, and I had shared every step of them with you as they were done. You had said your price was "a milk tea" and I did send you money on Kofi. That was the understanding and agreement until this morning when I received these messages. As such, I have already commissioned several works for A?MLTYT since you left the project and I shared those references with that granted permission. I will never do that again moving forward as you have rescinded that permission today. I just wanted to make you aware that these have already been done, and will posted later - I don't want you to be surprised or upset. Thank you and have a happy new year.

Dec 22, 2025 9:35 AM

In the moment, I wanted to believe this was just a misunderstanding - that we could still make up. I had stuff I'd purchased for her ready to send for Chinese new year, I was waiting for the holiday mail rush to finish and then it was going to ship. But as the days went by of me frantically scrambling to scrub everything from the game, our DMs, the spotify playlist, and more I realized this was not something that was ever going to get better. I finished everything in time for the deadline and I sent her this message:

Yes, I do see the typo now - that is the nature of reading things again after you send them. I posted the dev log at the top of this post on itch.io and on tumblr trying to explain the sudden break up peaceably. I sent the message above on the 12/23, well within the bounds of her time limit. She never removed the review, what she said about me, apologized, or acknowledged that I did as she asked; she blocked me when it was over.

I thought that would be the end of the story, it was disappointing and hurt my enthusiasm for writing but I pressed on. On 1/27, she made another post and a mutual friend told me about it. I'm not going to lie to you, being dragged through the mud by a former friend hurts but I thought I should just let it go and move on. Then on 2/3 (the one year anniversary of the au) she made another post about me, this time outright naming me. I've already been blocked by several people, including former mutuals, over it.

The sin I committed was being willing to say "no" to an incredibly talented artist that I had built a real relationship with, shared my real name and location with, because they were bullying someone to the point they weren't sure about the fandom or their work anymore. It was bad enough that I was willing to lose her support and risk exactly this situation to do what I believed was right. I did so knowing that it was not likely I would be listened to or believed and knowing exactly how viscous she was willing to be behind closed doors - I know because I was who she said these nasty things to before.

I listened and accepted it because I thought she knew those people better than I did. Because some of them were other big name fans who she'd made things with and for and I thought they had a relationship. Because I was scared she would say the same things about me if I argued with her about it. I was wrong, and I know I was wrong. I'm ashamed of myself for not saying something to her sooner. Hindsight is 20/20 but I never should have let it go on like it did. I am just proud that I did step up when it was my friend and I did hold onto what I believed was right even under the pressure of her anger being pointed at me.

These last few month have hurt. I lost someone who was my best friend and for a long time it felt like I lost them because I was trying to do something kind for someone. But I know that isn't what this is, that was never what this was. If it hadn't have been for making a gift it would have been for something else - or maybe I would have realized what was happening.

You shouldn't be afraid of your friends. You shouldn't be holding your breath and trying to say things in a way they'll like so they don't explode on you. You shouldn't be scared they'll snap at you the way they do others, talking down about and belittling them and their passion. It wasn't healthy. I know it wasn't healthy - again, hindsight is 20/20. In the moment it felt real, it made sense.

For one of the gift packages, I'd bought two handmade tea mugs. One of them I shipped to her and the other I kept for myself so we could drink tea together on other sides of the planet. I still have mine on my desk. I keep looking at it while I'm writing this… I still don't know what I am going to do with it, to be honest.

These last few months have been an incredibly stressful blur. I was busy and moving at first, then the initial crisis happened. This was followed by a month of trying so, so hard to hold onto both sides and hurting myself more in the process. Everything after has just been… raw. That hollowed out pit of anxiety in your chest that makes it hard to breathe, a general miasma that makes it hard to find the energy to do anything you enjoy.

That only gets worse when you know that all that you're working for, all that you're trying to share, is only going to draw more vitriol. It makes you wonder what's the point of trying to create. It kills your joy and passion and strips you of that little thrill of making something you know is going to put a smile on someone's face.

More than once I've considered putting this au down for a while, but I know that isn't the issue. Even if I switch to a completely different project that is not going to change what's being said.

I believe I have been very patient during this situation. I have done my absolute best to keep the peace and be understanding. I've taken blow after blow without complaint because I do not want to start a fight - but at this point I know I am not the one starting it. I know you don't have all the facts, you don't have the inciting messages. Those are not mine to share and out of respect for the first victim of her bullying and threats I will not share those. I am just frustrated with this situation. I just want to make it to the day where I can enjoy the DCA fandom again without this stress and pain.

Thank you.

[silvertherogue715]

Happy Valentines, @helpmeimawkwardbutfun! Get jumped! With art!

ft. Awkward, Awkwardillo, and her A?MLTYT sun, Moon, and reader!

Go check out her game, Aliens? More Likely Than You Think. over on Itch.io for free :)!

edit:

@mr-munchies

@diamondenderm6n

@bilolli

@nebulous-jester @sugarhog05

[sugarhog05]

I’ve been so grateful for everything you’ve done for me. SO I gathered some friends to jump you with LOVE and AFFECTION!!!

Get loved idiot <3 @helpmeimawkwardbutfun

Thank you my Awkward Attack Squad for helping me with this!!!

@silvertherogue715

@mr-munchies

@diamondenderm6n

@bilolli

@nebulous-jester

[star-bean-shine]

Hi again! I just hope everybody is doing okay and just here to show more art! Like a hug from your sillies! like a doodle! You're not obligated to though.

@sugarhog05 @crabsnpersimmons @sunnydbeam @helpmeimawkwardbutfun @aspen-tree7 @ask-the-roommate-au @sunnie-inajar @snowyrey @fufi-is-here @magicicephoenix @deceptiveshadow @cosmic-quakes @hexcii @celestialpunks @nosleepygay @bumble-the-sun-bee @prismisprigm

[bilolli]

I love magma, it unlocks my art block instantly.

@jackofallrabbits , @sugarhog05, @helpmeimawkwardbutfun it's your guys!

[evening-in-a-reflection]

Creatures...

I don't usually post my art, nor do I usually make fan art, but I've been going through some killer art block these past few days, and thought that I might as well draw these guys from @helpmeimawkwardbutfun's a?mltyt AU!

Their designs are heavily referencing @momomogos's art of them, as many people have as well lol

I also made this post once before, but Tumblr glitched and decided to nuke it... so if you see this twice, no you didn't

Gonna ramble a little bit, because I can

I had a lot of fun drawing them! They're honestly such pretty characters and drawing them in my style was really enjoyable, even if art block made it take a while... I was pretty torn between given Moon either glowing fluff at the end of his "hat" or a yellow bulb, and decided to take a secret third option and went with both. Sun's frills might also be unusually big, but that's because if a character has a feature I can exaggerate, you best believe that I will. Examples? Sun's frills, Moon's hat, their heights (they're like 7 feet tall in this image), their teeth... I lob them <3

There's also their eyes! Not necessarily an exaggerated feature, but there was a line or two in game mentioning how "if they could roll their eyes, they probably would" (paraphrasing there), and that made me think that they either have owl eyes that can't move in their sockets, or they just have eyes of solid colors that cannot notably move. I went with the latter option, because that made more sense, even if them having owl eyes is a funny thought lol

Moving on from that, there's also their clothing! Or rather the texture on their clothing. It's there partly because I like the way Momo's drawings are textured, but also because I thought it was a fun way to show that their clothes aren't made of a "normal" material, like in game. That texture is also absent from my character's clothes, so I hope that that makes the difference is at least slightly noticeable... even if largely unimportant

As for my character, I kinda feel like she's drawn too pretty (man that sounds way too vain...) for the circumstances she comes from in-lore, but I didn't feel like drawing a whole new character, so I just took my girl here and drew a work uniform over her (also referencing Momo's art). I kind of treat her as a dress-up doll anyway, so this isn't really out of the norm

Anyway, I love a?mltyt, and I love Momo's art of a?mltyt's Sun and Moon (and the reat of her art, really), so consider this a little love letter from me!

Hopefully this post won't disappear like the last one did...

(Also, this is Mirrors-and-mornings, just on my secondary account, because I basically never use my main one)