“I’m bethyl trash. I never thought I would be, but I am. I’m not...”
It's not problematic, though? Other than an age gap, the two characters themselves are actually quite equally balanced. The age gap itself is only problematic if there's a large imbalance of power, which there really isn't for these specific characters.
I... I... I don’t know what to think. And I’m sorry for all of you, who are reading this, cause I pretend to discover it as I write this response.
If I would see this exact dynamic in real life, like a daughter of mine would like to date a man who’s 15-20 years older than her and similar to Daryl, i would go all:
“NO WAY, young lady. You’re waaaaay too emotionally immature for this, You really, REALLY lack the emotional and even cognitive equipment for this quest. Your brain will still be changing until you’re 27, please walk that way with someone of your own generation.
You think you can handle this, but you can’t, because he has obviously seen loads and loads of shit you haven’t, and that will always weight against you. He will always have this power imbalance over you, even if he doesn’t want to use it against you. It’ll show, just give it time. You two won’t have a common ground to even talk. And don’t get me started with sex. Remember those loads of shit I said he has seen? Yeah... well, THAT.
And don’t get me started with his life story, or his physique. My girl, this man could tear you apart with his bare hands if he want. Or even if he doesn’t want. For what you’re telling me, there is a lot of unlived pain there, and for God sake I don’t want you near him when it explodes. I know you can handle yourself, but let’s face it: against him, against his rage you wouldn’t stand a chance. You are not his equal in that either.
He should be seeing you for what you are: still a girl. If he doesn’t, there’s something wrong with him, like, sorry I have to break this for you, but really... He shouldn’t be attracted to you. He can find you beautiful, and even attractive, but his soul is old, and shouldn’t romantically love yours, unless there’s some secret desire to compensate for something, to... I don’t know, suck that young energy from you, or even avenge his sufferings on you. And maybe he doesn’t even know about these desires.
I know you’ll say you have seen some happy couples with age gaps this big. Yeah, maybe. But 18 vs 40 is not the same than 40 vs 62, even when the gap is equal. I heard this rule, one time, to calculate if you are in the same generation with your partner. Take your age, substract 7, then multiply it by 2, that’s the oldest man who could be with you. You’re 18, you could be with a 22 yo. Or take his age, 40: half his age plus 7 is 27. And, if you have seen happy couples with big age gaps, I have seen many unhappy ones.
It has been such a struggle for women over the centuries to overcome shit like this, mature man with way too young girls. And this still exist in some countries, cause mature men have always have this privilege of lying in bed beside a young girl who would never be his equal... Please don’t do this to yourself, my girl. Please don’t”.
Man, poor daughter of mine, seems like I would eat her alive. And then God help him, cause I would really try to discover what’s wrong with him, and I would hope to leave him all fucked up, and seeking for help, or I would go all Killer Peletier on his ass. And then I would be seeking help for me, cause I obviously did something wrong as a mother for my girl to not see this. At that age, all her mistakes are still my mistakes.
But that would be in real life. This other thing is fiction. And, thank God, it even didn’t happen in said fiction. It could have been starting to happen, from his side, but it never bloomed, and it never will, cause she was killed. I’m not a part of team delusional, though I won’t tell them what to think. To each, his own, or like we say in Chile: Cada loco con su cuento.
It didn’t happen. But for some of us, this is still appealing, hence the fanfiction, and the canon divergence, and the AU’s. From my point of view, this is the closest thing to a romantic connection we have seen for Daryl, and Daryl is one hell of a character. I have to confess I don’t see anything that great in Beth, but I do love her faith, her resilience, her kindness, her deep insight. And I’m grateful for everything she did for Daryl, even being that young, and... Ok, fuck it, Beth is great too, and that’s why I find this ship appealing.
But I still think it is a problematic ship. These are my reasons:
We are assuming Beth is 18 by the time they leave the prison, but maybe she wasn’t, and we would be wanting to see Daryl commit a statutory rape crime. Jesus Christ.
For all the reasons I mentioned before, I think this kind of age gap DOES MATTER. Call me ageist, if you want. I won’t fight you, and I can take it, cause it’s for a good cause, like defending a young girl’s bodily and emotional integrity.
I’ve ranted a lot about shipping and about shippers’ morals. There are problematic and more than problematic ships everywhere. Incestuous ships, abusive ships (like when you ship a character WITH his/her abuser), pedophilic ships. I’ve always thought it’s at least problematic to ship a problematic couple. Why do you like it? Why doesn’t it make you cringe? But now I’m, more or less, shipping something that is problematic, so I need to, at least, acknowledge it. Like for a “don’t do this at home, kids”.
All that being said... Still...
Daryl is Daryl. One of the things I like of Carol, is that she low key thinks Daryl is the best man in the world. And she’s not completely wrong. Daryl is some quality dude.
He would be aware of the power imbalance in a relationship with an 18 year old girl. Even when I don’t actually think he is as old as the fandom says. I have my reasons, and I’ll make my own calculations. Anyway, he would be aware of the problematic nature of his feelings, and he would fight them. He would feel awful for them. He would doubt himself, cause he has been doubting himself, and his worth his entire life.
He’s sexy as hell. I wouldn’t be writing this if he wasn’t (Lets be honest). But I’m pretty convinced he’s at least demisexual. I haven’t seen him spotting some booty in 6 seasons. I can’t picture him drooling for anybody, and I definitely don’t see him preying on young girls, just for kicks.
Yes he has seen loads of shit. But it’s not his fault. And I hope he finds someone emotionally healthy to help him heal. In fact, Beth did that.
Yes he could tear apart a girl like Beth. And sometimes, he can snap very violently. He’s scary. What happened with Carol in that barn, and with Beth outside tha shack was scary. But he hasn’t done it again. And we know him. He would never hurt a women he loved. He has healed a lot, he has lived a lot of his own pain. All abuser were victims, but not all victims become abusers. That’s why we love Daryl.
So, knowing and feeling all this, I ship Bethyl, but in a very special way. I’ve read like three fanfictions about it, and they all rush into the sexual aspect of the relationship. But I know it would take a long time to get to crack Daryl open enough to get into his pants. And it would take a long time for him to overcome his shame about his feelings. And then, I think there would be some opposition among the group: Maggie, Glenn, Rick.
It would be complicated as hell.
And complicated means slow burn. Very slow burn. And some sublime platonic unconfessed, and even unrequited love in the meanwhile. I find it wonderful for DA FEELZ, and for the writing craft that it would require.
I don’t even know if I would be able to write it. My english is limited for writing creatively, and MAN, I can’t grasp the way Daryl talks. It’s too... regional, or something. If I write something, I would probably do it in spanish. I have been writing this post for like 3 hours, and it’s not even right.
I’m very sorry for using your reply to write this very very long rambling. But I needed to get it off my chest, cause I’ve been questioning myself about this ship. Like, how did I, over my high moral horse, ended up shipping a ship all people depict as ephebophilic, or something.
This is how. Someone with me?
