Hey there! First of all, I just want to say a million thank yous for helping me out with writing :) you're a blessing! Now here's my question, how do I write a slow burn romance without dragging on the story for too long? I don't want my characters to quickly fall in love within the first few chapters, but I also don't want to write 50+ chapters just to show that they're in a slow burn relationship. I think you've covered this before, so sorry if you need to answer this again :(
Guide: Writing a Slow Burn Romance
I actually have covered this before but this is a good opportunity for a guide on this subject, which I don’t presently have. So here we go! :)
What is a “Slow Burn” Romance?
A “slow burn” romance is one that takes longer to develop than the typical period of several weeks or a couple months. Slow burn relationships can take several months or even years to develop thanks to obstacles that prevent the romance from progressing. Unlike typical romances, which often begin with an open romantic interest, slow burn couples generally start out as acquaintances or friends, usually in situations that aren’t romance-friendly, such as being roommates, co-workers, or in other relationships.
In television, slow burn couples are called “will they/won’t they” relationships, because the romance develops over multiple seasons leaving fans to wonder if and when they’ll ever get together, and when they finally do it’s a really big deal. Think Jim and Pam in The Office, Ross and Rachel in Friends, Niles and Daphne in Frasier, Jane and Rafael in Jane the Virgin, Nick and Jess in New Girl, FitzSimmons in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Jake and Amy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, just to name a few.
How Does a “Slow Burn” Romance Develop?
As with any romance, slow burn can start out with no romantic interest, one-sided romantic interest, or dual romantic interest, but unlike a typical romance, in slow burn that romantic interest isn’t pursued. This is due to whatever situation makes the romantic interest inappropriate, inconvenient, or otherwise undesirable at that time. Instead, the relationship develops as a friendship and all interactions appear to be platonic on the surface, but on the inside they’re slowly falling in love.
When the two characters inhabit the same space, you can do a lot with just the eyes:
- stolen glances- sharing a knowing look- their eyes meet and then they both look away bashfully- lingering looks- communicating feelings through the eyes (worry, pain, hurt, pride, affection)
When they physically interact, you can add in things like:
- accidentally touching- intentional but tentative touching- touching in non-intimate ways that feel intimate when touch is restricted- open, affectionate touching- flirting disguised as platonic playfulnessWhen the characters aren’t together, you can do a lot with the mind:
- thinking fondly of the other person- recalling fond memories- worrying about the other person- daydreaming about the future- analyzing a previous interaction- dreaming about the person- remembering moments containing looking/touching moments
The astute observer (whether that’s readers, viewers, or even other characters) should see clues that there are deeper feelings at play, and those subtle hints are the driving force of the slow burn relationship. They’re what make us root for things to work out, but the key is that there are continued obstacles that hamper romantic development, drawing out out over several months or even years.
How the Obstacles Create the “Slow Burn”
Initially, the obstacle keeping romance at bay will probably be situational. In other words, something about the situation of one or both characters makes pursuing a romance undesirable or impossible, so they maintain a friendship instead. But over time, that situation may change or their mutual attraction may transcend the situation, and that’s when you’ll start looking for other obstacles.
(Spoilers for The Office…) Jim and Pam are one of my favorite examples of a slow burn romance. They were co-workers and work friends who bonded over tormenting an annoying co-worker. Thinly veiled flirting, lingering looks, and bashful interactions made it clear there was “something there,” but Pam was engaged to Roy from the warehouse and had been for years. The fact that they had no wedding date set was the viewer’s first clue that all was not well in Pam’s relationship, and Roy’s constant mistreatment of Pam–and Jim’s subsequent frustration over her treatment–provided some good conflict and tension. When Pam and Roy finally set a date for their wedding, that solidified that obstacle further, which resulted in Jim transferring to a new branch in another town. Despite this new obstacle, Pam ends her engagement to Roy anyway, and as luck would have it, Jim’s new branch was closing and he was being transferred back. In a normal romance, that would be the end of it. With no further obstacles, they could finally be together, The End. But this is a slow burn romance, so things aren’t that easy. When Jim returns, he has a girlfriend, and she’s transferred with him. Not only does this relationship provide a new obstacle, but it creates further conflict and tension as Pam has to deal with working and being friends with her romantic rival, and Jim has to live with the reality that he’s still in love with Pam. Then, when Pam decides to get back together with Roy, it sets off a whole new line of conflict and tension. It doesn’t help that Jim is also being considered for a promotion to corporate, which creates yet another obstacle for any romantic development between him and Pam.As time goes on, Pam breaks up with Roy again, Jim breaks up with his girlfriend and takes his name out of consideration for the promotion to corporate, and finally they’re able to start dating… but, once again, this is a slow burn romance so it just can’t be that easy. After they date for a little while, Jim’s planned proposal is upstaged by another co-worker’s proposal (to yet another co-worker), and they ultimately decide to wait to get married so Pam can move to New York for a few months to study graphic design, and this distance becomes one last obstacle before they’re finally together once and for all. But, as in any relationship, there are still obstacles to be overcome.
Drawing it Out without Dragging it Out
“…but I also don’t want to write 50+ chapters just to show that they’re in a slow burn relationship.”
While you certainly don’t have to draw a slow burn relationship out over anything like fifty chapters, you also can’t make it slow burn unless you “show the math,” so to speak. You can’t just say it’s slow burn, you have to show it, and that’s going to take time… you’ll have to draw it out, and in a novel with a slow burn romance, that typically means they don’t get together until the last quarter/final act.
So, how do you draw it out without dragging it out? Well, for starters, there needs to be something else going on in the story. Slow burn romances work best in a story with a non-romantic primary plot or a strong non-romantic subplot. In other words, what else is this story about? Are your characters fighting in a dystopian rebellion? Are they researchers trying to survive on a dangerous island after a shipwreck? Are they trying to survive a clan war while trying to get your protagonist back through the portal he fell through from the twenty-first century? If your story can be about something else in addition to the slow burn romance, you don’t have to worry about boring your reader because there’s so much other stuff going on.
And remember, slow burn is as much about time and quality as it is about page count. In other words, if you have a novel that takes place over three years, but you want your characters to be together by the middle (two years into the story), that’s fine. What matters is that we see as much of the development as possible. It doesn’t have to literally take your entire book to unfold. :)
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